Forty Deuce

I Almost Forgot What Y'all Look Like.

Lots of notables back on court this week in Belgrade, Munich, and Estoril.  Delpo took to the clay for the first time this year and was pushed to three sets by Pedro Sousa, inventor of the sousaphone.  Stick to the tuba, dude.  We don't need that kind of drama in Delpoland.

LOOK AT THIS GUY!!!!

Gonzo took to the court for the first time in six months in Belgrade and won a match!  No word on how many racquets were broken but I have no doubt they were broken spectacularly.

And in Munich, Tommy Haas took to the court in doubles with Steps but they lost.  He thinks he can play two more seasons.  Whatever he's smoking it better be medical grade.  You's needs to heal, boy.

Oh, and he's back to playing for Germany again.  Germany's way hip these days.

(Pics: Getty, Serbia Open Site)

Tommy Haas (USA)

I don't know if beating Blah is noteworthy, but Marcos winning anything sure does seem to be newsworthy.  I can't think of any reason why anyone wouldn't root for this guy to get back into the top 20 and start busting some brackets.  Nice win for him today.

The same can't be said for Boredo, who hasn't been able to get his season on track after taking the Hopman crown.  He was seeded fifth in Rotterdam and lost to Mayer in three.

Rotterdam:

Singles - Second Round
[3] [WC] R Soderling (SWE) d [Q] I Sijsling (NED) 76(6) 62
F Mayer (GER) d [5] T Robredo (ESP) 64 36 63

Singles - First Round
[2] N Davydenko (RUS) d F Lopez (ESP) 64 62
[4] G Monfils (FRA) d O Rochus (BEL) 46 61 62
J Melzer (AUT) d [8] V Troicki (SRB) 63 30 ret. (right arm)
M Baghdatis (CYP) d J Blake (USA) 64 62
M Berrer (GER) d A Clement (FRA) 76(16) 46 64

Well I can't think of a more appropriate way for Tommy to embrace his American citizenship than a second round loss.  You'll fit right in, Tommy.

San Jose:

Singles - Second Round
D Istomin (UZB) d [4] T Haas (GER) 76(3) 62
[5] T Berdych (CZE) d J Nieminen (FIN) 63 62
[6] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d D Sela (ISR) 62 60

Singles - First Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d [Q] R Deheart (USA) 61 76(1)
[2] F Verdasco (ESP) d Y Lu (TPE) 63 67(6) 63
X Malisse (BEL) d [3] R Stepanek (CZE) 63 64

Because it's not tennis in Brasil without Guga.  So lovable.

Brasil:

Singles - Second Round
[1] J Ferrero (ESP) d N Massu (CHI) 62 57 62
[4] I Andreev (RUS) d [Q] R Machado (POR) 63 57 64
[6] P Cuevas (URU) d F Gil (POR) 75 46 76(3)
[Q] C Berlocq (ARG) d J Chela (ARG) 76(5) 62

Jeremy's On The Wrong End Of A Streak.

Rotterdam

Nole cruised before Stakhovsky retired, Apricot Bars pulled out a nice win over Lubes, and cutie patootie Chiuds ousted Mrs. Saifn's BFF, Michael Llodra.

Totally cute.

Singles - First Round
[1] N Djokovic (SRB) d S Stakhovsky (UKR) 62 41 ret. (left knee)
[6] M Youzhny (RUS) d [Q] A Golubev (KAZ) 16 76(0) 76(5)
J Benneteau (FRA) d [7] I Ljubicic (CRO) 63 63
[Q] M Ilhan (TUR) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 61 64
M Chiudinelli (SUI) d M Llodra (FRA) 61 67(5) 76(6)
[WC] T de Bakker (NED) d [LL] J Hajek (CZE) 76(5) 63

San Jose

I normally don't dig the Tommy cheddar, but that haircut is definitely working for me.  Or maybe it's the fact that "God Bless America" plays everywhere he goes.  Either way, dude looks good in San Jose.

Not looking good?  Jeremy Chardy, who goes down without a fight to Phau.  That's six straight losses for Jeremy.  I mean, not even Ana's got a streak like that. 

Singles - First Round
[4] T Haas (GER) d [WC] D Britton (USA) 64 76(3)
[6] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d R Ram (USA) 67(7) 61 63
[7] S Querrey (USA) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 63 62
B Phau (GER) d [8] J Chardy (FRA) 63 61
[Q] R Berankis (LTU) d R Ginepri (USA) 67(5) 62 63
B Becker (GER) d [Q] T Smyczek (USA) 64 62
M Russell (USA) d *[LL] K Im (KOR) 76(6) 61
*[LL] K Im (KOR) replaced M Fish (USA) - left knee

Brasil

Nothing to see here.  Move along.

Singles - First Round
[1] J Ferrero (ESP) d E Schwank (ARG) 76(4) 63
[3] T Bellucci (BRA) d [WC] T Alves (BRA) 62 75
[4] I Andreev (RUS) d P Starace (ITA) 62 62
[5] V Hanescu (ROU) d J Souza (BRA) 76(5) 64
[6] P Cuevas (URU) d [Q] F Volandri (ITA) 64 63
M Granollers (ESP) d [7] H Zeballos (ARG) 75 30 ret. (left hip)
L Kubot (POL) d O Hernandez (ESP) 75 76(2)
J Chela (ARG) d P Luczak (AUS) 67(4) 63 64
F Fognini (ITA) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 64 60
[Q] R Machado (POR) d M Daniel (BRA) 63 76(3)
N Massu (CHI) d [Q] R Dutra Da Silva (BRA) 64 36 64
F Gil (POR) d [LL] P Andujar (ESP) 76(9) 62
[WC] R Hocevar (BRA) d [Q] C Berlocq (ARG) 75 63

Pic This: Day 6 and 7

The Australian Open Diving Championships, which are taking place this weekend, are really fucking up my photo searches.

Looks like Aunty Pam hired herself a local beer boy.  Wise, that one.

Anyone know what the ribbon's about?  I'm guessing her ankle ligamenture.

"Manny Delgado is a man of action."

Wonder who she's looking at...

Damn.  Tax got hops.

Whoa, honey.

Looks like Tax was doing everything except trying to avoid the bagel in her match.

Impressive work, Halpert.

Lleyton would make an amazingly angry Goth Kid.  Some eyeliner, a lip wring, one of those big holey piercey things?  A dog collar?  Which is ironic seeing as how he's the most douchey jock on the scene.

Hell of a week for China.  Pick up some racquets, Beijing!

Nole is like, crazy obsessed with his guns.

Yes, Pico, everyone's been doing that for Kolya.  If you relax it'll hurt less.  So I hear.

Bad racquet.

Because I haven't posted a picture of Vika yet.  And if I'm going to be accused of jinxing people, well, here's my chance to use my powers for good and not evil.

P-Raft is hot.  You can't blame Henri.

Good tourney for you.  Proved the USO run wasn't a fluke.

Still useless to me when it counted.

"Where's Your Head At at at at at at..."

She's just not that into you, Dani. 

Hmmm...you look familiar.

Jo.

Not Jo.


Ah, the classic "head stuck up your ass" MTO.  Didn't help, Tommy.

MaKiri with sympathy pains.

They. Were. Adorable.

Jo Wilfried Tsonga Is Very Good At Tennis. Sometimes.

Well at least Jo gave us some entertainment today as he and Tommy locked themselves into an odd, topsy-turvy match, that saw little rhythm, rhyme, or reason.  In fact, it was kind of a boring one (though there were some great rallies and shots) until the last five games.  Down 5-2 in the fourth, Jo reeled off five straight games wherein he played "Jo vs. Rafa AO 08" level tennis that was just beautiful and so fun to watch.  Tommy didn't know what hit him.  Jo simply raised his level and left everyone, including the commentary booth, breathless.  It was awesome.

Boss.

Interesting fact: Jo has *never* played a five-set match.

Pic This: AO Day 4

I mean, really, Aga?  REALLY?

BOOBIES!!!

Who has two thumbs and is adorable?  THIS GUY.

Oh, Daveed.  You try so hard.

Robbie!

Boys and their balls.  Quite a theme so far.

Totally climbing my list. 

"So you come here and you ask me for a favor..."

Yes, Nole.  As a matter of fact I do have tickets to the gun show.

Sunshine in the house.  If she wins a Slam...good Lord the sponsorship blitz...

You and me both, dude.

Ring and a track jacket?  Shabby chic, indeed.

Um, ok.

Someone's looking woooz....

Oh, nevermind.

Pic This: Gravity-- It's The Law

 
See, it's not like how water swirls the other way.  It works exactly the same Down Under, Marcos.

Sara just won't stop complaining about those Samurai assholes.

Crib notes?


The scariest of the scary places-- inside a Safin's head.


Kind of like one of those optical illusions-- some people will look at this and see a picture of Ana Ivanovic.  I look at it and see a picture of Sven.  And start giggling.  Those shorts, dude.

One of the things that makes this photo great is that you can barely tell who its of.

Apricot Bars NOM NOM NOM.

Well-framed.  But I miss the hair.


One more Marcos, just for good measure.  That's a whole other kind of "OPA!!!"

Shanghai Surprises

First, quality guy Ivan Ljubicic beats Nando.  Huh?  Hardly anyone loses to Ljubicic anymore.

 

I didn't see any of it, but from what I've read it sounds like he was playing terribly.  And was in a terrible mood.  I think maybe his hair is having an opposite Samson effect on him.  (Seriously, he pulled out of his doubles match with a knee injury, so there is that.)

Then there was Feli beating Dah-veed, which seems less surprising since Dah-veed is so wildly inconsistent these days, but then... it's Feli.  Who is pretty, but for most of this year hasn't really served any other purpose.

 

There's so much to say about this that I don't even know where to start.  Oh, Feli.  The shorts.

Then, there were the retirements.  JMDP made it about a set and a quarter against Melzer before he gave up the ghost (wrist injury) and Tommy H made it one set against Rainer Schuettler before calling it a day (shoulder).  I'm watching the JMDP match now and it's painful; MoLay in the chair is definitely the highlight.  All the absences, retirements and injuries in Shanghai are beginning to make it look like an actual battlefield.  Any day now, I expect someone's leg to actually fall off.

Singles - Second Round

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d J Blake (USA) 62 67(4) 64

[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] F Fognini (ITA) 63 61 
J Melzer (AUT) d [3] J del Potro (ARG) 75 21 ret. (right wrist)
[5] J Tsonga (FRA) d [WC] S Zeng (CHN) 63 63 
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [7] F Verdasco (ESP) 64 76(6)
[8] G Simon (FRA) d V Troicki (SRB) 63 64
[9] R Soderling (SWE) d N Almagro (ESP) 64 75
[11] G Monfils (FRA) d L Hewitt (AUS) 46 64 62
[14] T Robredo (ESP) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 46 76(10) 64 - Saved 3 M.P.
[Q] R Schuettler (GER) d [15] T Haas (GER) 64 ret. (right shoulder)
F Lopez (ESP) d [16] D Ferrer (ESP) 46 75 61 
T Berdych (CZE) d [WC] M Safin (RUS) 36 64 64

Fightin' Fer

 

Fernando survived a 3 hour and 45 minute match that saw 101 unforced errors, untimely double faults, and just generally substandard play.  But again, survive and move on.  It would have really sucked if Fer got dumped early.

Tommy Says What Dinara Thinks

Thanks to GoToTennis for finding this.

Seppuku. Look It Up, Samurais.

Whatever.  Call me when you find your fucking shirts, idiots.

The lamest thing about the Samurai?  They care completely distracting people from Sam's performances lately.  Last night he scored a fantastic win over Tommy, to make his third final of the year.  He'll be playing (er...or *is* playing based on the timing of this post) surprise finalist Carsten Ball.  Let's hope Sam doesn't choke yet another ATP final away.

For more on the "no class" Samurai and Tommy's curmudgeonly (though not completely off base) reaction to them, check out freakyfrites' post at GoToTennis.  She was at last night's match and sat two rows from them.

"Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A."

How do you even look at yourself in the mirror, Tommy?

I'm just going to keep these pics and run them for all of Marat's matches.  Because they pretty much tell the story.

Tommy's win sets up a juicy match against Homeboy Sam, who beat Dudi Dudi Dudi Dudi, 63 75.  On the other half of the draw we have what seems like a 2006 juniors final between Carsten Ball and Leonardo Mayr.  Carsten beat Halpert 4 and 4, and Mayr advanced after Darth Fish had to withdraw with an abdominal strain.

Team Hotness...and Some Germans.

Spain, sans Rafa, is at home to take on Team BMW.  Why does Tommy look so weird?  And what, no love for the team, JCF?

Fer's wearing caps now?  DUDE!  Don't fuck with the hair!


Oh, Techno.  Your smuggy looks will always make me giggle.  My heart is yours forever.

Was This An Exo Or A Slam Semifinal? Jesus.

 


If you're not going to take it seriously, why should we, Tommy?


In what was clearly the "I'm just happy to be here" match of the day, Fed beat Tommy 76 75 63. 


Onward and upward, Fed. 

I can't believe I'll be rooting for you while I'm sleeping on Sunday morning.

Nein! Ich habe das nicht gern.

Against anyone else, ANYONE ELSE, ok, maybe I'd be on board with this.


But not today. And not like this. 

Why must you toy with me, Falcon.  Here I was, getting excited that you seemed to be having a nice quiet tournament, where no one was talking about you and you were just marching through the draw.  And then you refuse to show up against Touchdown Tommy?  Why, Falcon?  Riddle me that.

As for Tommy, congratulations, I guess.  I suppose the most annoying thing about this is that Fed's going to stroll into the final and I have to watch your skin and bones fiancee chew gum like a horse while she makes a failed attempt at irony by being an emaciated woman, engaged to a German guy, wearing a Yankee hat, in Britain.  Either you are the most ironic hipster on the face of the planet or you're an idiot.  And seeing as how you're an American "actress" who isn't really famous for anything, I'm going to go with the latter.

Not that I'm at all annoyed or anything.

Pfft.

If It's Any Consolation, Your Girlfriend? WAY Hotter.

I've never really been able to explain my Igor love.  Is it that he looks like Billy Zabka?  His adorable service set position?  The fact that his favorite book is The Master and Margarita?  Yes, yes, and yes.

So while Tommy has the feel good story on his side, I'm super bummed Igor bowed out so easily.  He's got a huge serve, moves well, but in the end I guess his game is too much of a clay court game to really work on grass.  He just doesn't hit flat enough.

So congratulations, Tommy.  Two straight Slam quarterfinals.  Not bad for an old fogey.  You seem like a nice enough guy, but I just can't get onboard when I see pics like this:

Uh...unnecessary, dude.

To Be Continued...

Match of the tournament so far, at least that's what people are telling me.  And from what I can tell from the scoreline, both players have reason to be pissed at themselves.

Tommy won the first two sets 7-5, let Marin back into it, and then in the fifth, Marin loses a 5-3 lead after having match points.  Are you kidding me???

The match has been suspended and will be completed tomorrow with the score knotted up at 6-6.

Pic This: Feel Good Edition.

Wow.  Those guys are really talented.  You really have to keep your head still.


I could just drink a whole bottle of vodka off that.  After I do my laundry, of course.


Uh...don't you have a "not feeling too good" wife to get to? 

Can't you survey your conquered kingdom another time?


Round 2, Phil.  Round 2.

Props to AiRon Woman.  She is a thousand years old, this is her gajillionth Slam, and she's into the third round.  Unfortunately she's going to have to crush the soul of her BFF in the next round.

Jesus, are they teaching everyone at the Bunny Ranch the Jackknife Pump?


I just can't get over that hair.  Seriously, kid, give you big brother my number, k?


So...I'm going to go out on a limb and say the competitive fire hasn't died.


I don't know why but pics of an exhausted Mono always crack me up.


Word.


Fair and balanced.


A smiling Dani will always warm the cockles of my cold dead soul. 

Or at least the black cavity where my soul used to be. 

Obligatory Nole shot for donkeygrooming, seeing as how her other two faves are now out of the tourney.

He covered up the GOATknuckle!  Mirka totally reads Forty Deuce, y'all.


Man.  Vika looks weird.

This totally endeared me to Tommy, who I have always felt bad for but never really felt *anything* for.  A really cool unscripted moment.

Ack!  Mirka shaved her head!!!

"I Need A Montage! MONTAGE!!!"

Mikey Llodes took a bad spill in the first set of his match against Tommy Haas and was forced to retire. 

I am totally shocked that the ballgirl wasn't decapitated.

 

Poor Mikey.  That's a tough way to have to go out of Wimbly.  Hope your abs and wiener get better soon.

But it wasn't all horrible.  Afterwards Tommy gave the crowd a bit of a show by rallying with some of the ballkids.  How cool is that?  Those kids get to say that they rallied with a totally hot tennis pro on Court 1.

Very very cute.

Casper And The Cone Keep Me On The Edge Of My Seat.

Play has been suspended for the day and four matches are in progress. 

Of particular note, we have the curious case of Casper, who is in a bit of a dogfight with Georgie Stoop (seriously, awesome name).  They've split two close sets (76 46) and will play the third in full tomorrow.  I'm fairly certain the pic above was her reaction after winning the first set 7-0 in the tiebreaker.  Curious, indeed.

And in a brewing "upset" The Cone took the first set off Vera Dushevina got bageled in the second, and is now a break down at 4-2 in the third.  Oh, Cone.  Why in the world do I still care?  I'm not even sure I'm actually a fan of yours yet you keep me hangin' on [cue Kim Wilde].

The other two suspended matches have Tommy Haas up two sets to one and on serve 4-4 in the fourth, and mkeller favorite Michael Llodra has split the first two sets with Josh Goodall.

And All Of Germany...Could Care Less.

Touchdown Tommy pulled off a solid upset, beating Nole in three sets in Halle.  Tommy's had himself quite a run since almost dumping Fed in RG.  Amazing what a little confidence can do. 

As for the Falcon it was a good week but it was a struggle.  How do you *barely* beat Oliver Rochus?  That should have been a red flag right there.  I mean, come on.  He's a Rochus! 

But for all the Falcon haters, suck on this bit of humility/honesty/attempt to alleviate any pressure that could be wrongfully heaped on his shoulders:

"Because I went out early there last year and because I didn't play at my top-level here, I would definitely not rate myself as a favourite for the title in London."

Psst!  Hey media.  There's this Murray guy you should go take a look at.  Nothing to see here, move along.

CTRL-D

Thanks to the best gay for sending this along.  Nice to see the hot boys of tennis getting the love and respect they deserve.

But no Goth Bols or Janko?  Blasphemy!

Non-Event of the Day

What's that?  Tommy Haas was up 2 sets to love on Roger Federer, with a break point to serve for the match in the third set?

Yeah.  Never mind.

Oh well.  Better luck next time.

I still can't decide if Roger was wigging out the first two and three-quarters sets because of the whole Rafa thing, or if it was just Fed These Days.  It really looked like Fed realizing he might lose the match and Tommy realizing he might win it happened pretty much simultaneously.  And is anyone else starting to get nervous watching Mirka in these matches?  

Pic This: Madrid, Marat, Marriage, and Momo.

According to his Twitter feed, Muzz practiced with Rafa today, which provides a perfect segueway into posting Madrid practice pics.


In other bromance news, Fed practiced with his favorite doormat.  Surely they talked about how the sex has already become unimaginative and infrequent, no?


Fed channeling Daveed?


Momo being awesome.


Marat and Tommy.  I've never really got the "Tommy Haas is so hot" thing.  Meh.

Young and Old Gather In The 'Ho

 

The SAP Open in San Jose kicked off yesterday and Pete Sampras shook the dust off his Pro Staff to show the packed crowd what it kinda sorta looked like when he used to play, if he was slower, less flexible, less explosive, and wasn't as good.  He was supposed to play Blah in the exo but Blah, ironically, had to pull out due to a sore back.  So in stepped Tommy Haas.

What is this, 2002?


The night session was capped with Special K taking on the ever annoying Gilles Muller.  Kei took him out in straight sets, 75 62.

Scores:
[4] Radek STEPANEK (CZE) d [Q] Dominik MEFFERT (GER) 5-7 6-3 6-1
Christophe ROCHUS (BEL) d [7] Igor KUNITSYN (RUS) 6-2 7-6(7)
Tommy HAAS (GER) d [WC] Loerschke POERSCHKE (GER) 6-1 7-6(8)
Taylor Dent (USA) d Bobby REYNOLDS (USA) 6-3 6-4
Florent SERRA (FRA) d Jarkko NIEMINEN (FIN) 7-5 6-7(1) 6-4
Kei NISHIKORI (JPN) d Gilles MULLER (LUX) 7-5 6-2
Denis GREMELMAYR (GER) d Roko KARANUSIC (CRO) 3-6 7-6(4) 6-2

Melbourne Park Gets Testosteronetastic

The boys fine tuning on the practice courts.


I haven't given A-Rod much love in these practice pics.  So here we go.





MAnady and RAndy chatting it up.


Mmm...that might be the perfect balance between clean Gilly and scruffy Gilly.


I"m a little concerned about the tape job on Muzz's knee.  That said, cute that it matches his shoes!


Call animal control, cuz there're some pythons on the loose!


I don't know how Blah's going to deal with the new Fila gear.  He's swimming in it.


For the Haas fans.  I still don't get it.