Forty Deuce

Dub Luv.

 

Deutschland, Deutschland, Ja, Ja, Ja!  And Austria.  I guess.

 

Totes adorbz.

Suck it, Huber.

As If There Were ANY Doubt That She's The Smartest Woman On The WTA Tour...

BEEEEEEPPPPPAAAAAAA!

Nice comeback today against the still impressive Pronk to make her first Slam final!  And no, she didn't lose her shit.  Sadly.  But we have one match to go.  Losing your shit on Center Court?  Now that's some legendary shit losing.

This is just so great to see from a woman who busted her ass to get to the top 5, was a Slam semifinalist and Olympic medalist, was on the upswing, then suffering a horrific ankle injury.  She's been working her way back over the past year but I don't think anyone was prepared for her to make such a statement here at Wimbledon.  But she's been playing vintage Bepa tennis: moving well, serving solidly, hitting relentlessly, and changing the direction of the ball with ease and conviction.  When Bepa plays well I get giddy.  I love watching her game.

Another thing I love watching?  This piece of hot in her box (heh):

Um.  That's Sergey.  He's her new coach.  He used to be an Abercrombie model. 

He is slightly more attractive than Sam Sumyk. 

Slightly.

BOW. DOWN. TO BEPA.

Pic This: I'm Not Convinced Any Tennis Was Actually Played.

AKorn and Hingy played a dubs match.  Or so they say.  I'm not convinced.

 

There was strestching.

There was tongue.

 

There was girl-on-girl.

 

There were manis.

There were embarrassingly large diamond rings.

 

And there was whatever that is.

But I'm not convinced there was actual tennis. 

#82 Is The New #1.

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Look, Rendy's not a nobody, despite all the "Rendy WHO???" commentary that came with this match.  But oh, Andy.  The bottom line is that he couldn't find his A game on Monday and Rendy played an inspired match.  To beat Andy Roddick on grass, 9-7 in the fifth?  What an effort!

 

A-Rod was understandably gutted after the match.  As the years tick by and Andy is convinced that Wimbledon is his only real shot at another Slam, these losses have to weigh heavily on his psyche.  The window is closing.  Everyone knows it.  And this one's gotta hurt even more knowing what we know now about how the draw worked itself out.

But back to Rendy.  First Asian man into the quarterfinals of a Slam in 15 years.  What an amazing run.  With the focus on the ATP and WTA on the Asian markets and the recent success of the Nails and Jay Z, this bodes well for Asian tennis.  I can't wait for the day, hopefully in my lifetime, to see an Asian man or woman raise a Grand Slam trophy.  Get on it, Asia! 

Also, you might want to start camping out at chicken farms for talent.

 

And we have Tsvetana Pironkova, another non-nobody, who goes into the semifinals without having dropped a set and ousting the Queen of Grass, Venus, in straights.  Let's not forget that she also took out Mono.  Similar to A-Rod, Venus clearly didn't have her A game.  But again, to beat Venus on grass 2 and 3, and hold your nerve to close out the match and not succumb to the "Williams Aura" is a feat in and of itself.  

I saw her do an interview on Wimbledon Tonight and she's an absolute sweetheart.  Good head, good perspective, and she doesn't seem overwhelmed by the moment.  If anything, she looked like a kid who believes. 

Watch out, Bepa.

Air Quotes: What? You Were Way Better In Role Models.

 

Air Quotes: Lucky Idiots, Feelings, and Jamaica.

Q. What were your feelings when the draw came out and it was Federer?

ALEJANDRO FALLA: Well, I knew I'm playing really well at this point of the year. And just sometimes bad luck. Everybody wants to play Federer. But three times in one month is a lot (smiling).

...
Q. Do you think it might have helped you to play him three times in a row?

ROGER FEDERER: It shouldn't have, no, especially after Halle. He should have known that I was going to beat him. But he forgot I beat him (smiling). 

...

Q. We'd all like to see you one day win Wimbledon. It would be brilliant.

LAURA ROBSON: I would, too. I'd like that (smiling).

Q. When do you think? You don't have a crystal ball, but...

LAURA ROBSON: It's hard to say. Ideally I would have liked to have won it this year, but that's obviously not going to happen (smiling).

Why don't you give me a year. Your guess would be just as good as mine.

...

Q. You had to wait over four hours to get on Court 1 today. What did you do in that time?

ANDY RODDICK: Play some Monopoly. Dominated some Scrabble. I watched some tennis. Watched some football. That was pretty much it.

Q. Which tennis match were you watching?

ANDY RODDICK: Challenger that was going on, a future back home in the States.

Q. You were watching Roger's match?

ANDY RODDICK: Yeah, I think everyone was watching that one.

...

Congrats. Whatever.

Justine came back from a set and 3-0 down in the third set to win in s'Hertogenbosch.  Nice comeback, but her penchant for digging herself into third set holes is disconcerting if you're a Justine fan.  Which, I presume no one who reads this blog is so I'm moving on.

Oh, PetKo.  So close!  Your love of third set drama is commendable but the drama only works if you win.  It's like in Alias.  Sydney's idiocy as a spy that requires her to be rescued week by week is only forgiveable if she actually gets rescued.  I mean, if she really were to die, that's no fun, right?  Take heed, PetKo.  All that unsolicited constructive criticism aside, well done this week!

 

Speaking of well done, how about a standing ovation for Ekaterina Makarova?  She went through Eastbourne qualies, then beat Flavs, Nads, Sveta, Sam, and Vika for her first WTA title.  And here's the kicker: She didn't drop a set.  Yes, Vika practically had to be hauled off in an ambulance in the final (looks like a right leg injury), but credit to Maks for not freezing in any of these matches and keeping her nerve.  She could have easily headcased it once Vika started being all drama and shit.  A much deserved ovation, kiddo.  She could meet Venus in the second round of Wimby.

 

Much love to Team MomoLlodes!  Mikey came through in the final to capture his first singles title of the year.

Fear the Scrunchie.  FEAR IT.

And Sergiy Staks demolished a deranged homeless man in the Bosch final, 63 60.

Breaking Down My Broken Spirit

My German boys get hosed by the refs.  My US boys get hosed by the refs.  My English boys decide to hose themselves.  Then I sit down with the Wimby draws to cap off my day and, well, let's just say that I'm three deep into my sixer of Pacifico.

By now I assume that you've seen the draw, read what other more educated and insightful people have said about the draw, and are simply tuning in here to see me embarrass myself.  Allow me to oblige:

Ladies:

There are a lot of interesting first round matches that could jumble the early rounds.  But I think Serena/Masha in the fourth round is a pretty sure bet.  Maria had a great run to the finals in Birmingham but it's really hard to pick her over Serena here.  It's a damn shame.  Maria is one who could have benefited from a good draw to get her into the semis.  Not going to happen here.

Pretty lax draw for Sammy the Invisible Corgi.  Then again, she lost this morning in the Eastbourne semis to Makarova, giving up dominant leads along the way.  Sam's camp has been pretty public about her modest ambition here.  She just wants to make the fourth round, which I can't see not happening.  I have her slotted to play Aravane in the fourth round, a winnable match for her, but I have questions regarding her mental fitness for this tournament.  All that said, based on my fandom, I have her slotted into the semis, beating Vika along the way.

Which brings me to the Belgian quarter, with Kim, Justine, Wicky, and Flips.  JJ is in the bottom half of that quarter and she's got an easy walk to the quarters.  I'm super bummed L-Rob got drawn against her in the first round, but so it goes. 

Kim and Justine are slated to meet in the fourth round, but I'm not so sure. If Nads is healthy (which is a question mark) I can see her taking out Justine in the third round.  Justine's chances will live and die with her serve.  If she's left defending her serve game after game she's hosed.  No matter what Carlos says, Wimbledon is the reason Justine came back.  Full stop.  She's not playing for the love of the game or the competition.  She's playing to win this tournament.  I still haven't been able to figure out Justine's psyche on this point, whether that pressure will lead to that extra level of competitive fire or a complete competitive freeze.  I would argue that she totally choked against Sam in Paris and a lot of that has to do with the fact that she isn't 100% convinced in her game these days.  All the tinkering has left her with some doubt and that doubt might be enough for Kim, JJ, or Venus to come out on top.

As for Venus, write her into the semis.  Mono's having a good grass leadup and she's always a looker on grass (uh...not like that), but it's Venus at Wimbledon and this year she should be even more confident given her play over the last 6 months.  And for the record, Ana will go down to Peer in the first round.  I've already accepted this as fact.  You should too.

My quarterfinalist picks: Serena, Aga (heh), Vika, Sam, Kim, JJ, Mono, Venus.
Winner: Venus

First Rounders To Watch (some on mute): Serena/Burrito, Chak/PetKo, Domi/Lucie, Masha/KBond, Sveta/Agkul, Kvitova/Sorana, Sam/Kaia, Justine/Sevastova, Wicky/Riske, Oudin/Flips, Robbie/JJ, Peer/Ana.

Da Boys:

No doubt that of the top two seeds, Rafa's got the "Quarter of Death".  There's no easing into this tournament.  He's going to have to hit the ground running, probably playing big server/hitter after big server/hitter just to get to the semis.  Here's who I have him playing after the first round: Blah --> Ernie --> Isner --> Sod.  I honestly don't see him getting through all that and then beating Muzz.  But I'm hoping he proves me wrong and at least gets to the semis, where I have him beating the Scottish Moose.  But my heart will be rooting for Andy, even if it's not clear he'll make it to the semis either.  Let's face it, it's hard to count on the guy for anything these days so I'll be holding my breath.  He'll probably have Sam the Tank in the fourth round, an easily losable match, and then Fer or Jo in the quarters.  C'mon, Tim!

As for Fed, write him into the semis unless you really think Feli or Berd is going to take him out.  Yeah, that's what I thought. 

Sentimental favorite A-Rod has a tough road through his half given his lack of match play leading up to the tournament.  He's got Ramjet the Rookie, who likes the grass, in the first round, a Momo'd Llodra in the second, the always dogged PEHK in the third, and possibly Marin the fourth, only to have to go up against Nole/Lleyton in the quarters.  Oh yeah, and then there's Fed looming in the semis.  I don't think this is the year, Andy.

My quarterfinalist picks: Fed, Berd, Lleyton, A-Rod, Jo (I'm assuming he's fit, if not, Fer), Moose, Sod, Rafa.
Winner: Fed

First Rounders To Watch: Brown/Melzer, Dima/Schuettler, Kolya/Anderson, Nole/Rochus, Fish/ATomic, A-Rod/Ram, Fer/Fognini, Nico/Seppi, Chiuds/Dolgopolov, Tsonga/Kendrick, Sod/Ginepri.

You're Such A Miranda!

The WTA player party.  What can you say?  Normally I tune in for the fashion, hair, and makeup disasters.  But I have to say, the Ladies did ok for themselves this year.  I mean, Aga's once again dressed as a Jersey hooker, but hey, the girl's got a look that she's sticking with.  Commitment is 90% of fashion.

Masha, impeccably dressed as an homage to the trophy her boy won tonight.  I don't think the photos do that dress justice.  A stunning piece if seen in person, methinks, especially when worn by a 6'1'' Masha.

Accessory win.

movingrightalong...

Kimiko is adorable despite the fact that she's being attached by the Grimace's shredded entrails.  And can we please stop thinking that ballet flats are appropriate "event" wear?

I mean, she looks great.  But she also looks 15 years older.  PEEP TOE, DINARA!

You kids are adorbz, even if it does look like the Eastern European version of Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion.

Beautiful makeup and hair, and a great dress that needed about 15 minutes with a tailor.  The hem is killing me.

...

Awesome sex hair.

I love this dress minus the frills on the shoulders. 

Bepa!

Amber Alert!

Winner.  Perfect hair, the dress fits perfectly, heels are beautiful and understated.  She looks like she rolled out of bed like this.  Bomb.

You could fit the entire continent of Serbia between Charlotte and Samantha. 

As it should be.

Churnin' Butter

Oh I've missed you and your legendary Ho!Yay!

I'm a bit busy with some personal stuff this week (don't worry, it's nothing serious or anything) so I apologize for falling behind on the blogging.  To be honest, I normally don't feel bad about it (because I'm a dick) but seeing as how Wimbledon starts in less than a week, I feel particularly derelict in my responsibilities to you, the sometimes-loyal-but-would-totally-stab-me-in-the-back reader.

Thankfully there are other great tennis bloggers who aren't ignoring the tennis.  I don't really like churning links, but again, it's the week before Wimbledon and I feel like if I don't set the table for all the jokes I plan to drop in the next couple of weeks, well, the jokes will fail.  And nothing pisses me off more than someone making unfunny jokes especially when that someone is me.

So here's my churnalistic attempt to get you caught up with the goings on in Yellow Ball Land.  And by "Yellow Ball Land" I mean tennis, not Asian porn.  Get your head out of the gutter and into the game, pervies.

• Uncle Jamie throws his Wimbly thoughts out into the information superhighway.  You should read it because I always agree with him.  Except for the times when I don't.
• Stephanie Myles, thankfully, breaks down how the Wimbledon seeds are calculated for the ATP side.  Why did she feel compelled to Mathnet?  Because Fed has been seeded #1 and the Twitterverse had a cow.  And by Twitterverse I mean me because I was apparently the only one in the world who didn't know that the formula only applies to the ATP, not the WTA.  My thoughts in a nutshell: I don't really care that Fed's #1.  It had no effect on the draw.  It's more symbolic than anything else, you know, like THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND.  But what does annoy me is that this formula isn't used for the ladies.  Think about it and you will come to the same conclusion that I did: Wimbledon hates Venus.
• C Note read at Down The Line that Franny is referring to herself in the third-person.  C Note thinks it's just...weird. 
• GoToTennis sat on a conference call with Brad and Mary and didn't bother asking whether there would be a "Big Babe Tennis 2: Electric Buggaloo" installment this year.  Also they both pick Rafa to win.  Where was Aunty Pimmy?!?
• I love Andy Murray.  Just thought I'd mention it.
• Vika and Sveta won back to back matches.  That seems like news.
• You don't want to know how this makes me feel, Roger.
• Best. Coach. EVAH.
• Sam just wants to make the fourth round at Wimbledon.  Now if people could please stop paying attention to her, I'd appreciate it.  Thanks.  Meanwhile, she's doing ok on grass so far, making the quarters of Eastbourne against Elena Baltacha.
• Boom Boom Sabine is out of Wimbledon.
• Great piece on Shazza in The Guardian.
• JJ's boxing.  If JJ doesn't like fistpumps in her face, I can't think she's a fan of fists in her face.  Also, "WATCH THE NOSE!"
• Welcome back, Kimmy.  I see you've left your mercy in Belgium.
• Thanks to Jane Peng for getting Boyfriend to link to my Rafa piece.  That's how the Kong rolls.
• WTA Boo Boo Boo Watch: MaKiri retired with an ab injury; Aravane retired with a right wrist injury; Nails also retired.
• ATP Boo Boo Boo Watch: Nico retired with a right hip injury; Feli retired two points from losing with some sort of injury, I'm thinking it was either a brain injury or World Cup fever; Special Kei also retired.
• Via Twitter, Nalby announced he's not playing Wimbledon.  So enjoy your crumpets as per yoosh.
• I would like to be introduced to these "people" who thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever seen.  Seriously, Serena.  I want a list.  Tweet it.  
• Oh, and Rafa's in Mallorca hanging with Xisca.  And probably crying.  A lot.

And that's the news I care about.  Oh, Ana lost to PetKo.  Shit happens.  Moving on.

Tuesday OOPs

Kim makes her return against Wicky and Caro plays Aravane, which seems like it could easily be a final of any other tournament.  Also, thank God the early rounds of Unicef are being streamed.  I guess I can finally see Janko once this year.  Here's hoping he doesn't look like an old man this time.

Eastbourne:

Centre Court (from 11.30hrs)
1. Caroline Wozniacki vs. Aravane Rezai
2. Yanina Wickmayer vs. Kim Clijsters
3. ATP: Ward vs. López (NB 14.00hrs)
4. ATP: Almagro vs. Kubot
5. Li Na vs. Elena Baltacha

Court 1 (from 11.30hrs)
1. ATP: Lu vs. Beck
2. ATP: Schuettler vs. Golubev (NB 13.00hrs)
3. Sorana Cirstea vs. Francesca Schiavone
4. Alisa Kleybanova vs. Svetlana Kuznetsova
5. ATP: Hutchins/Kerr vs. Aspelin/Hanley

Court 2 (from 11.30hrs)
1. Agnieszka Radwanska vs. Victoria Azarenka
2. Flavia Pennetta vs. Ekaterina Makarova (NB 13.00hrs)
3. Aleksandra Wozniak vs. Heather Watson
4. ATP: Fognini vs. García-López
5. ATP: Friedl/Vemic vs. Fyrstenberg/Matkowski

Court 3 (from 11.30hrs)
1. Karolina Sprem vs. Nadia Petrova
2. ATP: Marchenko vs. Zeballos
3. Shahar Peer vs. Zheng Jie
4. Huber/Martínez Sánchez vs. Gallovits/Petrova
5. Dushevina/Makarova vs. Chan/Zheng

Court 4 (from 11.30hrs)
1. Keothavong/South vs. Ruano Pascual/Shaughnessy
2. Chuang/Govortsova vs. Grandin/Spears
3. ATP: Delgado/Inglot vs. Benneteau/Llodra
4. Amanmuradova/Voracova vs. Black/Hantuchova
5. ATP: Emmrich/Siljestrom vs. Mayer/Zeballos

Den Bosche

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Becker vs. Nieminen
2. Andrea Petkovic vs. Ana Ivanovic (NB 12.30hrs)
3. Arantxa Rus vs. Dominika Cibulkova
4. ATP: Ljubicic vs. Falla (NB 16.30hrs)

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Tipsarevic vs. Chardy
2. Kirsten Flipkens vs. Maria Kirilenko
3. ATP: Brands vs. Malisse
4. ATP: Marx/Zelenay vs. Sijsling/Wassen

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Vliegen vs. Stakhovsky
2. Yaroslava Shvedova vs. Arantxa Parra Santonja
3. ATP: Chardy/Stakhovsky vs. Lindstedt/Tecau
4. Dekmeijere/Zalameda vs. King/Shvedova (NB 14.30hrs; after suitable rest)

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Sandra Zahlavova vs. Magdalena Rybarikova
2. ATP: Brunstrom/Rojer vs. Moodie/Norman
3. Hsieh/Medina Garrigues vs. Barrois/Zahlavova Strycova
4. Malek/Petkovic vs. Errani/Vinci (NB 14.30hrs; after suitable rest)

Court 4 (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Butorac/Ram vs. Bopanna/Qureshi
2. ATP: Damm/Polasek vs. Chiudinelli/Clément
3. Kudryavtseva/Rodionova vs. Borwell/Kops-Jones

But...It's *Her* Tournament!

The biggest upset of the day?  Touchdown Tammy goes out in the first round of the Tammy Annual.  WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD???

In happy news, Gilles starts his comeback with a tricky win over Evgeny, Apricot saved us from the XXL idiocy of Blah, and Ana somehow threw down a stick and a bagel. 

Eastbourne:

Men's Singles - First Round
[3] [WC] G Simon (FRA) d E Korolev (KAZ) 63 67(6) 64
[4] J Benneteau (FRA) d J Blake (USA) 76(3) 75
[6] H Zeballos (ARG) d L Lacko (SVK) 64 46 75
[8] M Llodra (FRA) d [Q] M Emmrich (GER) 60 63 
D Sela (ISR) d K Anderson (RSA) 57 63 ret. (left shoulder)
S Robert (FRA) d L Mayer (ARG) 76(4) 64
D Istomin (UZB) d E Schwank (ARG) 60 63
F Fognini (ITA) d [Q] G Lapentti (ECU) 76(11) 67(3) 63
[Q] A Kuznetsov (RUS) d [Q] K Nishikori (JPN) 64 31 ret. (hip) 

Men's Doubles - First Round
M Melo (BRA) / B Soares (BRA) d [1] L Kubot (POL) / O Marach (AUT) 61 63
A Golubev (KAZ) / A Seppi (ITA) d J Marray (GBR) / J Murray (GBR) 64 57 10-2
[WC] J Baker (GBR) / J Ward (GBR) d N Almagro (ESP) / E Schwank (ARG) 62 76(4)

Women's Singles - First Round
(3) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Melanie Oudin (USA) 64 64
(8) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Vera Dushevina (RUS) 64 75
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 63 36 75
Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. (WC) Anne Keothavong (GBR) 64 62
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 64 36 64
Agnes Szavay (HUN) d. Olga Govortsova (BLR) 36 62 76(2)

Women's Doubles - First Round
(2) Peschke/Srebotnik (CZE/SLO) d. Peer/Pennetta (ISR/ITA) 61 75
Rosolska/Yan (POL/CHN) d. (3) Kleybanova/Schiavone (RUS/ITA) 63 76(9)

Den Bosch:

Men's Singles - First Round
X Malisse (BEL) d *[LL] R Ram (USA) 63 62
[WC] I Sijsling (NED) d [6] T de Bakker (NED) 46 62 76(4) 
A Clement (FRA) d [Q] S Stadler (GER) 61 36 61
D Brands (GER) d [Q] R Junaid (AUS) 61 63
[WC] H Kontinen (FIN) d [Q] D Brown (JAM) 75 26 76(5)

*[LL] R Ram (USA) replaced [5] P Petzschner (GER) - (left hip)

Men's Doubles - First Round
[1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d F Serra (FRA) / K Vliegen (BEL) 61 67(5) 10-6
B Becker (GER) / S Lipsky (USA) d [3] C Kas (GER) / M Kohlmann (GER) 76(3) 46 10-7

Women's Singles - First Round
(1/WC) Justine Henin (BEL) d. Angelique Kerber (GER) 64 62
(3) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 64 61
(5) Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) d. (Q) Julie Coin (FRA) 46 76(4) 76(4)
Sybille Bammer (AUT) d. (6) Sara Errani (ITA) 61 63
(WC) Arantxa Rus (NED) d. (8) Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 46 62 63
Ana Ivanovic (SRB) d. Sofia Arvidsson (SWE) 46 60 61
Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) 64 76(5)
Kirsten Flipkens (BEL) d. Vania King (USA) 61 62
Kristina Barrois (GER) d. Melinda Czink (HUN) 75 62
Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) d. Alberta Brianti (ITA) 36 64 64
(Q) Anastasia Rodionova (AUS) d. Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) 16 76(5) 63
(Q) Sandra Zahlavova (CZE) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 75 62

Women's Doubles - First Round
Poutchek/Senoglu (BLR/TUR) d. Kondratieva/Uhlirova (RUS/CZE) 75 67(1) 107
Jans/Olaru (POL/ROU) d. Peers/Robson (AUS/GBR) 75 16 106
Czink/Parra Santonja (HUN/ESP) d. Lefèvre/Pelletier (FRA/CAN) 62 63

UPDATED: PEAK-A-Who?

So here's some news.  As anyone who follows the WTA knows, Sony Ericsson refused to renew their name-sponsorship of the tour.  Hence the reason why we've been able to get away with just calling it the "WTA Tour" as opposed to, oh fuck it I don't want to have to spell it out again. 

Well the WTA has finally picked up a new name-sponsor: PEAK.

[crickets]

PEAK is a Chinese sports apparel company that has a shitload of money but no name recognition outside the confines of The Great Wall.  They're not as big as ANTA or Li Ning in China, so we're talking tallest midget in the circus.  But like, a really really rich midget.  PEAK is the official sponsor of the NBA in China and has signed some big name players in the U.S. like Jason "I barely broke 650 on my SATs" Kidd, Ron "What'd you say about my Mama?" Artest, and Sasha "Yeah, I'm tappin' that" Vujacic.

This is presumably a great move for the WTA, which has made a concerted effort to increase its presence in Asia (they opened an office in Beijing two years ago).  If all goes well they'll be able to grow the sport in Asia which will lead to more business opportunities down the road.  It's a five-year deal and the price tag hasn't been disclosed (Sony Ericsson's deal was for 6 years/$88M).  To be honest, I'm way more OK with a PEAK sponsorship than, let's say, Dubai Duty-Free or Virginia Slims.

There's no denying that this is a step-down from the prestige and global legitimacy of Sony Ericsson.  From the news articles it sounds like PEAK is the LA Gear of the Chinese athletic shoe market.  So in addition to not having any brand recognition outside of China, even in China, it's not a particularly well-respected brand.  PEAK has to hope that the WTA's glamour quotient rubs off.

But in this market you have to take what you can get so good on the WTA for landing a cash-flush sponsor.  Hopefully they're giving you enough money to give Petkorazzi her own show on Bravo. 

UPDATED: More details have come out.  It doesn't look like PEAK will be a "title" sponsor.  According to SBJ, it's a five-year deal to become the official apparel and shoe partner in the Asia-Pacific.  What does that mean?

Under the deal, Peak will receive licensing and merchandising rights to develop a co-branded WTA-PEAK line of apparel, become partner of the Tour’s successful China tennis festivals and develop a player apparel programme.

So...they're just going to get together to create WTA shirts with PEAK logos?  I'm totally and completely confused now.  But I think it means you can completely ignore all the shit I wrote earlier.  They're not a name sponsor or a title sponsor.  It won't be the PEAK WTA Tour.  I think.

And, to correct some earlier confusion due to my own lack of clarity, Sony Ericsson is still a tour sponsor.  They're just not the "title" sponsor anymore, which is why the tour reverted to "WTA Tour".

Sunday OOPs

Play starts in the Charity Open tomorrow.  Sleep in and you could miss Dinara.  And Petkorazzi.  And Robbie, for that matter.  Boo.

Queens:

Centre Court (from 14:30hrs)
1. Singles Final: Sam Querrey vs. Mardy Fish
2. Doubles Final: Beck/Skoch vs. Djokovic/Ehrlich

Birmingham:

Centre Court (from 13.00hrs)
1. Singles Final: Li Na vs. Maria Sharapova
2. Doubles Final: Huber/Mattek-Sands vs. Black/Raymond

Halle:

Center Court (from 13:00hrs)
1. Singles Final: Roger Federer vs. Lleyton Hewitt
2. Doubles Final: Stakhovsky/Youzhny vs. Damm/Polasek

s'Hertogenbosch:

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Laura Robson vs. Dominika Cibulkova
2. ATP: Greul vs. Haase (NB 12.30hrs)
3. Magdalena Rybarikova vs. Dinara Safina (NB 14.30hrs)
4. ATP: Giraldo vs. Chiudinelli (NB 16.30hrs)

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Arantxa Parra Santonja vs. Anastasia Pivovarova (Singles Q Final)
2. Andrea Petkovic vs. Petra Kvitova
3. ATP: Falla vs. Serra
4. ATP: Russell vs. Luczak

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Tatjana Malek vs. Julie Coin (Singles Q Final)
2. Arvidsson/Rus vs. Kirilenko/Vesnina

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Sandra Zahlavova vs. Anne Kremer (Singles Q Final)
2. Anastasia Rodionova vs. Greta Arn (Singles Q Final)

Court 5 (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Brown vs. Sadecky
2. ATP: Vliegen vs. Desein

Court 6 (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Kindlmann vs. Stadler
2. ATP: Ram vs. Junaid

Turn Up, Tune Up.

Eastbourne Draws: Men.  Women.

The top ladies will be in Eastbourne in a field led by Caro, Fran, Sam, and A-Rad.  Seriously, how is A-Rad still ranked so high?  My intellectual grasp of her ranking is like her grasp of the nuances of sports marketing.  Kim also makes her return at Eastbourne.  The men's field is topped by Nico and Feli and we'll see the return of Gilles, who was granted a wildcard.  And to the extent anyone still thinks this is relevant information, James Blake also returns.

Shitgenhogenbosch Draws: Men. Women.

Over at the "Wait, Is This For Charity?" tournament, Justine and Dinara "lead" a field that, while maybe not populated with highly ranked players, contains many C Note faves: Baby E, Baby Baby E, MaKiri, and Petkorazzi.  And Dominika Cibulkova.

JUST KIDDING!  I mean, she's in the field.  I was just kidding about liking her.  Because I don't.  I DON'T.

As for the guys, well, Lubey is the top seed.  So you do the math. 

The way the draws worked out there are going to be some great matchups in each of these tourneys starting immediately.  Robbie/Domi, Ana/Sofia, Apricot/Blah, Gilles/Evgeny, Janko/Jeremy.  Ok, I was kidding about that last one.  That match is going to be horrible on everything but the eyes.

"GO AWAY!!!"

That was a year ago.  Tomorrow, only one of them will be lifting that trophy.  Screw U.S. vs England.  This is the match of the weekend.

In case there was any doubt, I'm on Team Black.  Here's hoping she pulls a Nads tomorrow:

I'm sorry, but that's still funny.  If for nothing other than Sveta the Medic making an appearance. 

Hug your loved ones tonight, people.  For who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Weekend At Birmies.

Shazz is through to the semis after beating Sesil in straights but the real story in Birmingham is American teen Alison Riske (nope, not making the easy "Riske Business" joke; come on, people, we're better than that), who came through qualies and is into the semis after beating CanWoz, Chakky, and Wicky.  Her reward?  A Wimbledon wildcard and a shot at the Shazza herself. 

No mercy, Mash.  Sweep the leg.

 

Also through?  That thing.

That Was Some Seedy Shit.

Kim was not happy with today's events.  Not happy at all.

Queens:

Singles - Third Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d [16] D Istomin (UZB) 76(4) 46 64 
X Malisse (BEL) d [2] N Djokovic (SRB) 63 46 62 
[3] A Murray (GBR) vs M Fish (USA) 46 61 3-3 - suspended due to darkness 
[14] D Sela (ISR) d [4] A Roddick (USA) 64 76(8)
R Schuettler (GER) d [11] R Gasquet (FRA) W/O (back)
[12] M Llodra (FRA) d [5] M Cilic (CRO) 76(2) 62  
[7] S Querrey (USA) d M Granollers (ESP) 64 76(5)
[8] F Lopez (ESP) d [9] J Benneteau (FRA) 62 64

Doubles - Second Round
[2] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) d A Clement (FRA) / N Mahut (FRA) 75 76(3)
M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) vs [6] R Lindstedt (SWE) / H Tecau (ROU) - postponed until Friday
[8] J Benneteau (FRA) / M Llodra (FRA) d M Cilic (CRO) / A Sa (BRA) 61 64

Doubles - First Round
A Clement (FRA) / N Mahut (FRA) d M Granollers (ESP) / F Lopez (ESP) 63 64

Sania was back.  And then she wasn't.

Birmingham:

Suspended due to darkness
(1) Li Na (CHN) vs. (13) Angelique Kerber (GER) 46 63
(5) Sara Errani (ITA) vs. Marina Erakovic (NZL) 76(5)
(Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) vs. Michelle Larcher de Brito (POR) 42

Singles - Third Round
(2) Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 63 61
(3) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (14) Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) 64 64
(4) Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. (Q) Mirjana Lucic (CRO) 75 63
(Q) Sesil Karatantcheva (KAZ) d. (10) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 62 67(3) 62
(Q) Alison Riske (USA) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 46 75 61

Singles - Second Round
(1) Li Na (CHN) d. Anne Keothavong (GBR) 62 64
(2) Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) 60 63
(3) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (Q) Laura Robson (GBR) 75 64
(4) Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. Anastasia Rodionova (AUS) 63 64
Michelle Larcher de Brito (POR) d. (7) Olga Govortsova (BLR) 61 46 75
(Q) Alison Riske (USA) d. (9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 62 64
(14) Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) d. Sania Mirza (IND) 46 75 61
Marina Erakovic (NZL) d. Jill Craybas (USA) 36 64 64
(Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) d. Jarmila Groth (AUS) 76(5) 75
(Q) Mirjana Lucic (CRO) d. Karolina Sprem (CRO) 63 57 76(3)

Doubles - First Round
Grandin/Spears (RSA/USA) d. Kondratieva/Uhlirova (RUS/CZE) 61 62

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME???"

That is Alison Riske.  She is an American.  She is ranked 185.  She made it through qualifying in Birmingham (somehow) and took out CanWoz in straights and A-Chak in three today.  All I'm saying is that she made a lot of people sad today.  Except maybe her parents. 

Unless her dad is a Chakky fan, which, why wouldn't he be?

Thursday OOPs

Given the rain delays throughout the week, basically, if you're still alive in any of these three tournaments, you're playing tomorrow.  In some cases, twice.  Hell, in Birmingham, maybe three times.

Queens:

Birmingham:

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Li Na vs. Anne Keothavong
2. Bethanie Mattek-Sands vs. Maria Sharapova (to finish)
3. [Li Na or Anne Keothavong] vs. Angelique Kerber
4. Alla Kudryavtseva vs. [Bethanie Mattek-Sands or Maria Sharapova]

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Laura Robson vs. Yanina Wickmayer
2. Alison Riske vs. Aleksandra Wozniak (to finish)
3. Grandin/Spears vs. Kondratieva/Uhlirova
4. Anna Chakvetadze vs. Alison Riske or Aleksandra Wozniak

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Kaia Kanepi vs. Jarmila Groth
2. Tamarine Tanasugarn vs. Sania Mirza (to finish)
3. Sesil Karatantcheva vs. Magdalena Rybarikova
4. [Tamarine Tanasugarn or Sania Mirza] vs. [Laura Robson or Yanina Wickmayer]

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Marina Erakovic vs. Jill Craybas
2. Aravane Rezai vs. Anastasia Rodionova (to finish)
3. [Marina Erakovic or Jill Craybas] vs. Sara Errani

Court 4 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Mirjana Lucic vs. Karolina Sprem
2. Michelle Larcher de Brito vs. Olga Govortsova (to finish)
3. [Kaia Kanepi or Jarmila Groth] vs. [Michelle Larcher de Brito or Olga Govortsova] (after suitable rest)

Court/Time TBA (NB 14.00hrs)
1. Huber/Mattek-Sands vs. Robson/Watson
2. Czink/Errani vs. King/Shvedova
3. Keothavong/South vs. Pelletier/Senoglu
4. Ditty/Savchuk vs. Chuang/Govortsova
5. Hsieh/Kudryavtseva vs. Dzehalevich/Poutchek
6. Borwell/Kops-Jones vs.Rodionova/Rodionova
7. Erakovic/Tanasugarn vs. Black/Raymond

Wet 'n Not-So-Wild

Queens:

The boys cruised (yes, in Marin's case I'm using "cruised" loosely) through the day.  Thankfully ATomic lost.  So that's not gonna be a thing.

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d M Daniel (BRA) 62 62
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d P Lorenzi (ITA) 63 63
[5] M Cilic (CRO) d [Q] N Mahut (FRA) 67(5) 63 62
[7] S Querrey (USA) d R Ginepri (USA) 76(4) 62
[8] F Lopez (ESP) d [WC] G Dimitrov (BUL) 62 64 
[9] J Benneteau (FRA) d K Anderson (RSA) 75 63
[12] M Llodra (FRA) d J Levine (USA) 64 62
M Fish (USA) d [13] S Giraldo (COL) 76(5) 62
[14] D Sela (ISR) d G Muller (LUX) 75 62
[16] D Istomin (UZB) d D Brown (JAM) 76(7) 64
M Granollers (ESP) d M Gicquel (FRA) 61 64
X Malisse (BEL) d [WC] B Tomic (AUS) 62 36 62

Doubles - Second Round
[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) 64 36 10-5
A Golubev (KAZ) / D Istomin (UZB) d [3] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 76(4) 61 
K Beck (SVK) / D Skoch (CZE) d [4] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) 64 36 10-5
[5] M Fish (USA) / M Knowles (BAH) d A Murray (GBR) / J Murray (GBR) 63 63
N Djokovic (SRB) / J Erlich (ISR) d [7] M Melo (BRA) / B Soares (BRA) 76(3) 46 10-3

Doubles - First Round
M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d R Schuettler (GER) / J Tipsarevic (SRB) 64 63
A Clement (FRA) / N Mahut (FRA) vs M Granollers (ESP) / F Lopez (ESP) 52 - To Finish Thursday

Birmingham:

Blame the rain all you want, Birmingham, but the real reason for the 5+ hour rain delay?  Their court covers were too small so despite the fact that the rain stopped, the courts were too wet to play.  Idiots.

Needless to say, Robbie's singles and doubles matches were pushed.

Suspended due to rain
(2) Maria Sharapova (RUS) vs. Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) 40
(4) Aravane Rezai (FRA) vs. Anastasia Rodionova (AUS) 20
Michelle Larcher de Brito (POR) vs. (7) Olga Govortsova (BLR) 61 13
(Q) Alison Riske (USA) vs. (9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 42
Sania Mirza (IND) vs. (14) Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) 64

Singles - Second Round
(5) Sara Errani (ITA) d. Shenay Perry (USA) 62 46 61
(Q) Sesil Karatantcheva (KAZ) d. (6) Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ) 64 64
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. (8) Andrea Petkovic (GER) 64 64
(10) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 75 46 76(5)
(13) Angelique Kerber (GER) d. Ayumi Morita (JPN) 61 76(7)
Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) d. (16) Vania King (USA) 61 62

Singles - First Round
(Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) d. (12) Elena Baltacha (GBR) 61 ret. (GI illness)
Karolina Sprem (CRO) d. (15) Kristina Barrois (GER) 57 76(5) 76(4)
Jill Craybas (USA) d. (LL) Sophie Ferguson (AUS) 75 46 76(3)
Anne Keothavong (GBR) d. Pauline Parmentier (FRA) 46 75 75

And over in Schlafburg, Germany...

Wednesday OOPs

Queens:

Rafa and Nole finally take the court after what is trule an "Amuse Bouche" of a first match on Court 1.

Oh, and try not to tank this one, Sam.

Birmingham:

Let's try this again...

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Aravane Rezai vs. Anastasia Rodionova
2. Bethanie Mattek-Sands vs. Maria Sharapova
3. Laura Robson vs. Yanina Wickmayer
4. Li Na vs. [Pauline Parmentier or Anne Keothavong]
5. Huber/Mattek-Sands vs. Robson/Watson

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Vania King vs. Alla Kudryavtseva
2. Pauline Parmentier vs. Anne Keothavong (NB 12.00hrs)
3. Alison Riske vs. Aleksandra Wozniak
4. [Elena Baltacha or Kaia Kanepi] vs. Jarmila Groth
5. Borwell/Kops-Jones vs. Rodionova/Rodionova
6. Keothavong/South vs. Pelletier/Senoglu

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Ekaterina Makarova vs. Magdalena Rybarikova
2. Sophie Ferguson vs. Jill Craybas (NB 12.00hrs)
3. Tamarine Tanasugarn vs. Sania Mirza
4. Marina Erakovic vs. [Sophie Ferguson or Jill Craybas]
5. Hsieh/Kudryavtseva vs. Dzehalevich/Poutchek
6. Erakovic/Tanasugarn vs. Black/Raymond

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Yaroslava Shvedova vs. Sesil Karatantcheva
2. Elena Baltacha vs. Kaia Kanepi (NB 12.00hrs)
3. Andrea Petkovic vs. Anna Chakvetadze
4. Ayumi Morita vs. Angelique Kerber
5. Czink/Errani vs. King/Shvedova
6. Grandin/Spears vs. Kondratieva/Uhlirova

Court 4 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Shenay Perry vs. Sara Errani
2. Karolina Sprem vs. Kristina Barrois (NB 12.00hrs)
3. Michelle Larcher de Brito vs. Olga Govortsova
4. Mirjana Lucic vs. [Karolina Sprem or Kristina Barrois]
5. Ditty/Savchuk vs. Chuang/Govortsova

What Can You Do? Grass Needs Water.

So far the weather has not been cooperating in Jolly Ol' England.  But at least the big boys got to see the court in Queens.

Queens:

The Andys return triumphant, Gael is...Gael, Reeshie keeps winning, Janko keeps losing, and G-Spot and Dima scored some wins.  Oh, and ATomic bounced Seppi.  Don't let that get to his head.  No really.  Don't.

Singles - Second Round
[3] A Murray (GBR) d I Navarro (ESP) 76(8) 63
[4] A Roddick (USA) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 62 61
R Schuettler (GER) d [6] G Monfils (FRA) 63 67(4) 62
[14] D Sela (ISR) vs G Muller (LUX) - to finish Wednesday 75
R Gasquet (FRA) d R Ram (USA) 63 75

Singles - First Round
M Granollers (ESP) d [10] J Tipsarevic (SRB) 64 36 63
[13] S Giraldo (COL) d E Korolev (KAZ) 76(8) 46 63
[WC] B Tomic (AUS) d [15] A Seppi (ITA) 63 57 63
M Fish (USA) d S Devvarman (IND) 61 64
M Gicquel (FRA) d M Russell (USA) 76(6) 63
N Mahut (FRA) d Y Lu (TPE) 76(2) 64
[WC] G Dimitrov (BUL) d A Bogdanovic 46 63 64
[Q] D Tursunov (RUS) d X Malisse (BEL) 62 76(3) 
D Brown (JAM) d [Q] F Dancevic (CAN) 75 67(4) 64

Doubles - First Round
R Schuettler (GER) / J Tipsarevic (SRB) vs M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) - postponed to Wednesday
A Murray (GBR) / J Murray (GBR) d S Lipsky (USA) / S Querrey (USA) 62 64
C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) d S Huss (AUS) / G Monfils (FRA) 64 64
A Clement (FRA) / N Mahut (FRA) vs M Granollers (ESP) / F Lopez (ESP) - to finish Wednesday 52
N Djokovic (SRB) / J Erlich (ISR) d [WC] J Delgado (GBR) / J Marray (GBR) 75 63
A Golubev (KAZ) / D Istomin (UZB) d E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) 64 67(5) 10-7
K Beck (SVK) / D Skoch (CZE) d R Hutchins (GBR) / J Kerr (AUS) 63 64
M Cilic (CRO) / A Sa (BRA) d [WC] C Eaton (GBR) / D Inglot (GBR) 62 60

A shitload of rain pushed off all the fun matches at Edgbaston.  Nice win for Vania, though.

Birmingham:

Singles - First Round
(9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. Alicia Molik (AUS) 75 61
(16) Vania King (USA) d. Kirsten Flipkens (BEL) 64 60
Ayumi Morita (JPN) d. Maria Elena Camerin (ITA) 62 36 62

Suspended due to rain
(15) Kristina Barrois (GER) vs. Karolina Sprem (CRO) 21
Jill Craybas (USA) vs. (LL) Sophie Ferguson (AUS) 75 34

Tuesday OOPs

Busy day in Queens as rain suspended play on the late matches on Monday.

Queens: Moose, A-Rod, Gael, Janko, Reeshie, Evgeny, Grigor, and Nole, Rafa, Feli, Marin, are up in doubles.

Birmingham:

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Pauline Parmentier vs. Anne Keothavong
2. Laura Robson vs. Yanina Wickmayer
3. Bethanie Mattek-Sands vs. Maria Sharapova
4. Aravane Rezai vs. Anastasia Rodionova
5. Erakovic/Tanasugarn vs. Black/Raymond

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Alicia Molik vs. Aleksandra Wozniak
2. Karolina Sprem vs. Kristina Barrois
3. Elena Baltacha vs. Kaia Kanepi
4. Ditty/Savchuk vs. Chuang/Govortsova

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Sophie Ferguson vs. Jill Craybas
2. Michelle Larcher de Brito vs. Olga Govortsova
3. Andrea Petkovic vs. Anna Chakvetadze
4. Czink/Errani vs. King/Shvedova

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Vania King vs. Kirsten Flipkens
2. Ayumi Morita vs. Maria Elena Camerin
3. Hsieh/Kudryavtseva vs. Dzehalevich/Poutchek (NB 13.00hrs)

Squats and Back Extensions, People.

Gotta love the early grass tournaments, as all the veterans have to struggle to get their grass legs under them after months of clay court tournaments.  I'm going to assume that's the explanation for JCF and Marcos going out in the first round of Halle.  It also explains the relative success of the qualifiers in Birmingham, who've already had a few grass matches under the belts.  

Robbie made it through after Voegele retired, after losing the first set, due to a low back injury (a common ailment on grass).

Other notable winners: Apricot, Reeshie, Viktor, Lleyton, Sania, Bethanie, A-Chak, Burrito.

At Least It's Soft.

It's a shame that I don't like grass court tennis.  I love the look of the grass and I love Wimbledon.  I kind of think Pete Sampras ruined it for me.  Watching that hairy dude serve and volley his way to title after title drove me away from tennis.  

But I still love the look of it.  Especially when people are falling down!

Come On, C Note. Get Your Fucking Head In The Game.

I was hoping to take a breather this week.  But then I looked at the draws for Queens, Birmingham, and Halle and I got sucked back in.  I mean, I can't take a week off when Rafa, Muzz, Robbie, and Masha are playing.  Like, I physically can't. 

Queens: Monday OOP

Birmingham:

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Regina Kulikova vs. Magdalena Rybarikova
2. Laura Robson vs. Stefanie Voegele
3. Alla Kudryavtseva vs. Heather Watson
4. Shenay Perry vs. Naomi Broady

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Anna Chakvetadze vs. Melanie South
2. Chan Yung-Jan vs. Sania Mirza
3. Tamarine Tanasugarn vs. Lilia Osterloh
4. Sesil Karatantcheva vs. Katie O'Brien

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Melinda Czink vs. Marina Erakovic
2. Michaella Krajicek vs. Anastasia Rodionova
3. Julie Coin vs. Jarmila Groth

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Chang Kai-Chen vs. Ekaterina Makarova
2. Ekaterina Dzehalevich vs. Michelle Larcher de Brito
3. Misaki Doi vs. Angelique Kerber

Court 4 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Alberta Brianti vs. Bethanie Mattek-Sands
2. Mariana Duque Marino vs. Mirjana Lucic
3. Alison Riske vs. Sandra Zahlavova

Sister, Sister Slam

I don't think Serena's loving her trophy.

Venus and Serena finally got that elusive French Open doubles title, thus giving them not only the career Slam, but also the "Venus and Serena Slam".  They currently hold all four Slam titles.

Which means they were in a good mood in the presser:

Q. And also, how old were you when you played your first doubles match together?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Super young. (Laughing.)
VENUS WILLIAMS: Extremely young. That's what we were saying the other day. We're the longest standing doubles team. We've been playing since the '80s together. We've got quite a record.
It's been we don't even remember the first time. It's been forever.

Q. Do you remember anything about that? What you wore? What happened on the court?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Yeah, I remember a couple things. I remember sorry. (Laughing.)
VENUS WILLIAMS: Oh, no.

Q. Oh, yes.
SERENA WILLIAMS: I remember my dad told Venus you remember this? (Laughing.) He told Venus to cross you remember now?
VENUS WILLIAMS: No. I can't.
SERENA WILLIAMS: (Laughing.) He told Venus to that she had to cross more, and so I think she got upset and she crossed when the person was serving. (Laughter.)
She ended up volleying the serve. Oh, it was so funny.
I remember my dad, he's so positive. He's like, Oh, no, no, Venus, not that. Just wait until after the serve.
I promise you every tournament I think about that when we're in doubles. I'm thinking, Okay, I got to get aggressive. I just always think about that.
VENUS WILLIAMS: I remember that.
SERENA WILLIAMS: You remember?
VENUS WILLIAMS: Isha was serving. Our older sister was serving.
SERENA WILLIAMS: Oh, my gosh. That was so funny.
VENUS WILLIAMS: Wow.
SERENA WILLIAMS: And I also remember my dad told me I had to play the forehand because I was young and I was smaller, and then he put Venus on the backhand. It's been like that ever since. That was 20 years ago?
VENUS WILLIAMS: At least.
SERENA WILLIAMS: At least.
VENUS WILLIAMS: More than 20.
SERENA WILLIAMS: Yeah.

Cute.  Still bummed they didn't whack a ball at Liezel in the semis though.

If you've grown up with a little sister, this is *totally* what happens. 

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

In in mixed doubles news, Kata and Nenad! 

I mean, any team involving Kata and Nenad pretty much rules at anything.  But it's nice that they got a trophy to reward their general awesomeness.  Plus it's an excuse for pictures of Nenad.  So a round of win for everyone.

"I'm Not Here To Make Friends. I'm Here To Win."

In case you actually have a life and, unlike me, aren't plopped down every night rewatching matches you've already watched twice on French Open Tonight on Tennis Channel, you probably missed these great Player Pass segments which contain some neat tidbits. Here, Lindsay and Rennae dish on what the buzz is in the locker room.



Lindsay and Corina talk about all the sniping on the women's side and how all that sniping goes down in the locker room.



Martina and Stubbsy talk up Franny's awesomeness and Sam's chances.

Corina and Martina preview the Sam/Serena match.

"I Have Common Courtesy."

The Black and Huber saga continues.  And it is hilarious. 

Can I Be Corina's Fluffer?

Nice piece from Bonnie Ford on Corina and Martina, you know, chattin' up the cancer that dared mess with their badass selves.

Hey Now, Hey Now, Don't Dream It's Ov-- No, Actually It Is Over.

Kimiko couldn't follow-up her first round win, falling easily to Jarmila Groth, 60 63.  But that's ok.  We'll always have Paris, Kimiko-Tan.

A-Rad continues to make us scratch our heads by losing in straights to Shvedova.  If you'll recall, Shvedova beat JJ at the USO last year.

 

And Bepa drops to Rodionova.  I think she was distracted by the tanktop.  You would be be too.

All this is to say, JJ, this is all on you.  There's cake, and then there's what your quarter is.  Get it done or forever shut your hole.

Pic This: Crips or Bloods?

Cute pic of the player's lounge posted at Tennis Forum.

Pic This: Day 4

Day 4 was wet 'n wild, but let's kick this off, Awesome Style.

You're too cute to play in the dark.  Thank God for suspended play.

Man, Flavia does not cheat on those net kisses.

That is a damn lot of limb.  

In Mother Russia, rain falls on you.  No, wait, that's the same.  Nevermind.

Balls of Steel: Kimiko-Tan!

Introducing Balls of Steel, the Forty Deuce version of "Person of the Day", "Match Ball", whatever.

I mean, come on.  It had to be.  Because really, let's think about this.  Sure, Dinara totally collapsed and practically gifted the match to her.  But let's actually back this up.  Think about what Kimiko had to do to even be in the position to win this match.  She was a direct entry into the main draw at Roland Garros.  You know who wasn't?  Bethanie Mattek-Sands, Kaia Kanepi, Simona Halep, Monica Niculscu, just to name a few.  So just to get this first round match against Dinara, Kimiko has had to play well, and she has.  At 39 years old!  After a 12 year retirement!  On her worst surface!

And then there's this from Stephanie Myles:

Adorbz!

Also, she gives good presser.  Or, at least, adorable presser.  

So yeah, good on you, Kimiko-Tan.  You've earned it. [bows]

Honorable Mention:

This dude.  His name is Grega Zemlja from Slovenia.  He is ranked #141.  He has played 1 ATP Tour match all year.  He beat Pico in straight sets and now the ESPN commentators will have to figure out how to pronounce his name.  So...that's quite something.

And for everyone who voted for Mina, he was in the running for Honorable Mention.  Until he took that crap MTO down two sets and a break.  Not cool, kid.  Hope you learn to know better.

Well, At Least We Don't Have To Talk About It Anymore.

Some old Asian lady d. Safina, 36 64 75.

Where to begin, really?  Dinara held a 42 lead in the second set and lost it.  She also held a 4-1 double break lead in the third set and lost it.  Kimiko hit 63 UFEs and started cramping badly in the third set and had to call the trainer.  Oh, and Kimiko hasn't played at RG since 1996.

And still, Dinara lost.  It was an ugly 2 hour and 34 minute match.  Ugly because all you could do was squirm watching Dinara deal (or fail to deal) with everything that was going on around her and inside her.

Afterwards, Dinara pretty much refused to talk about the Split Heard Round The World.  All in all, sad stuff.  She'll probably drop out of the top 20 after RG.

But hey, how about some love for the ageless Kimiko!  She hung in there, she fought as best she could, and she came out with a win at 39 years old.  And she looks amazing.  Seriously.  She looks younger than 99% of the WTA.  Give her some love!

Pic This: RG Day 2

It was a warm on in Paris today.  And the heat brought out the crazy.

It's not so much that Feli likes to show leg, it's that his legs refused to be contained.

 

I'm flattered by the offer, but no.

Oh no you di'n't, JJ.  Allison will cut you.  She'll do it.

DonotlookherintheeyeDonotlookherintheeyeDonotlookherintheeye...

Fuck!  Too late.

More after the jump.

Pulp Fiction and Bloc Party? We're BFFs.

The Andrea Petkovic awesomeness campaign continues, thanks in large part to our very own Maz.  Read Andrea's impromptu Twitter Q&A after the jump.  She is charming the pants off all of us.

Required Reading

Gotta love the Slams just for all the interesting reading.  Some cool and interesting pieces:

A behind the scenes look into the "cool" WTA.

Tignor's awesome take on Ernie.

Kamakshi Tandon previews the Moose/Dickie match.

Doug Robson takes a look at Rafa's knees.

A profile of Andrea Petkovic on the RG Site.  In a nutshell, she's awesome.  And a nerd.

QuIsner blog from Paris.

An interview with Ana Ivanovic.

Pic This: RG Day 1

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  Walk with me.

Gisela!  It's singles!  Flavi's not there.  Focus!

"So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to hit more to his forehand, like high topspin, and push him back behind the baseline.  Then I'm going hit this shot, have you heard of it?  It's called a forehand drop shot.  Anyway, apparently it works on clay.  I just figured this out.  Yeah, I know, I'm brilliant.  So like I was saying..."

More after the jump.

MGMT's Second Effort Sucked. Fact.

 

Person of the Day nominee, Akgul Amanmuradova takes out MGMT, 64 62.  So...there goes that storyline.  But thank you, Akgul, for ensuring that I don't have to see her slice and dice for the next two weeks.

Did anyone watch this match?  I mean, how do you not win this 60 60 simply by hitting nothing but dropshots?  Even in a neck brace she should have been able to pull this off.  So weird.

Yo Bookie! Give Me My Money!

As I predicted on this week's FDPodcast, Vika was the first seed to fall as Gisela waxed her 61 62.

 

Sorry, France.  You won't have this Pinkie to kick around this year.

Congrats. Now Get Your Collective Asses To Paris.

If you have a life and haven't listened to yesterday's FD Podcast, then you may not know that I am thoroughly convinced that Reeshie is going to bounce Moose in the first round of RG.  That trophy right there seems to bolster my argument.  Good on him.  Reeshie goes into RG on a wave of confidence, having won a challenger last week and winning Nice by beating Fer in three sets. 

So all that *and* you didn't get the title, FeVer?  Yeah, that was an awesome decision, Popeye.

 

Hey, have you heard?  Balkan girls like to party like nobody.  Especially in Warsaw.  Alexandra Dulgheru defended her Warsaw title by beating the entire Chinese Fed Cup team.  Keep an eye on her at RG.

And Masha claimed her 22nd title with a nice run at Strasbourg.  Not a lot of tough competition for her but hey, she's still the Cow on Ice.  Moo, baby, Moo!

And the Pico-led Argies beat America in Dusseldorf.  Pico, you are adorbz.

Now enough of this nonsense.  Get thee to Roland Garros!

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sports

Ajde, Marko!

There's so much hilarity in this table.  But it begins with the Momo comeback and ends with Kaia Kanepi's banner 2010.

Thanks to @ataraxis00 and @jameslarosa for the head's up.

Lame! But In a Good, Bitchy, Champion Kind of Way.

Way to be awesome and prove me wrong, Lame-O!  Haven't seen the match yet but it looks like Aravane pounded Venus into submission.  Really curious to see this match.  Was Venus' serve off or what?  Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Nice momentum builder for Aravane going into the French.  Matt Cronin tweeted that the win might catapult Aravane ahead of Mono as the #1 Frenchwoman.  No pressure at Roland Garros, kid.

Hey Serena, I'm Pretty Sure Venus Likes Madrid.

Venus dusted Shahar 63 60 and will take on The Lame One tomorrow, who advanced to the final after Lucie retired due to injury.  This could be interesting if Lame can hit as big as she's been hitting the last two matches.  But if Venus serves well, fuggetaboutit.

Hey look!  Tennis analysis!  Weird.

Keep Trying, Corgi.

Sam brought her B+ game.  Too bad Venus brought her A game. 

In what seemed like a dude match on grass: big serving and big hitting.  The big serving came from Venus, who served at 70% with 8 aces.  She put on a serving clinic.  Sam brought the big hitting.  Her forehand was just balls to the wall awesome.  Unfortunately she didn't get a chance to dictate play, seeing as Venus was serving lights out and Sam couldn't buy a first serve for much of the match.  All that said, Sam had her chances.  Lord did she have her chances.  But when your game plan is to play aggressively and attack the return, you're going to miss.  Sometimes, a lot.  And that's what happened here.

Oh, and in case you don't follow the FD Facebook page, I had a lightbulb moment last night: Sam Stosur is built like a corgi.  Incidentally, I have a corgi.  It worked a lot better when she had her orange kit, but yeah, hello new nickname!

 

In other news, Shahar hates Chinese people and HOLY SHIT, LUCIE!

Oh, The Water? It's Still Over The Bridge.

Aravane ousted JJ in straights.  And she's pretty happy about it:

"She tried to intimidate me but me, I did my thing," said Rezai. "She can say what she wants, it's me who won. She was nervous and is someone not very pleasant off the court. But I respect her as a player."

Fair enough.  Rezai was absolutely pounding the ball, proving again that you can hit through JJ. It was a hilariously tense match, with both players screaming at the heavens, their camps, and kind of at each other, capping it all off with a dead-fish-no-eye-contact-bitchplease handshake.  Oh, WTA.  Don't ever change.

No, You May Not Order Off Menu, You Pretentious Asshole.

For all the talk about the number of top seeds leavin' on a jet plane, there are some really fantastic quarterfinal match-ups for the ladies.  Are they all blockbusters?  Probably not.  But I think they're all pretty evenly matched so they should at least be competitive.

And if you watch your WTA for pure drama and hijinks, you could do no better than Aravane vs. JJ.  Aravane has made it clear how she feels about JJ (to paraphrase, she thinks JJ's sportsmanship is somewhere between "crap" and "non-existent").  And JJ has made it clear how she feels about...other people.  Neither feel compelled to keep their opinions to themselves.  So...tune in!

If you watch your WTA for quality tennis, you could do worse than Sam vs. Venus.  Sam is on an absolute tear on clay and could finish this tournament in the top 5.  Venus has just clinched the #2 ranking.  Big serving, big hitting.  If that's your flavor, buckle up.

Oh, you want some feel good tennis?  How about Shahar vs. Nails?  Nails is donating her winnings to charity.  Shahar...well, how can you not ever root for Shahar to do well after all the crap she's had to endure.  They're both pretty damn badass and pretty evenly matched here. 

Um.  And then Nads and Lucie are playing.  Which...is a thing.  I guess.

Adios!

Nice love shown for Virginia Ruano Pascal as she retired today.  She seemed really sweet.

Even Rafa was there!  Sweet stuff.