Forty Deuce

"I'll Take The One *With* a Slam, Thankyouverymuch."

Robbie wants to play mixed doubles at Wimbledon with a Murray.  Just not that one. 

The girl is in it to win it.

Cheeky British Humor

Ahem. 

So this pic pretty much sums up my impression of the Wimbledon Museum. 

It was unintentionally hilarious.

 

Another gem, which, when you pull back, reveals a third bunny:

 

Random?  Yes.  Awesome?  Absolutely.

 

The Champions display is right when you get to the bottom of the stairs.  I saw this.  I laughed quite hard.  I may have said, "They have the fuckin' Sergeant Pepper jacket???" a little too loud.  I really shouldn't drink before noon.

Fed shoes.

 

Dick shoes.

Muzz's shorts.  Unfortunately I left my glass cutter at the flat. 

Not gonna lie.  Wanted to smell them.

DG kept pointing out ugly pictures of Muzz in the Wimbly Store and asking, "Really, dude?  This guy?"

Yes, dude.  That guy.  To quote Brodie, "I would."

Nice that they gave Lena D some love.  This was her semifinal outfit. 

In a rather impossible feat, it looks even cheaper in person.

 

Billy Jean King and Rod Laver's racquets.  Seemed like something I should geek out at. 

Ashamed to admit I did not. 

There was actually quite a bit of historical stuff about the evolution of lawn tennis.  Here's my problem though: I actually kind of hate grass court tennis.  So it was difficult to actually care.  Also, the whole grass thing seems elitist and Victorian.  As you all know, I am a woman of the people.  It was hard not to roll my eyes at some of the displays.

Enjoyed seeing the white balls though.  Mainly because I like white balls.

Movingrightalong...

 

I was very confused by this.

 

Donkeygrooming found this one.  Shirtless Marat?  Wimbly knows what's up.

 

And in the most random pairing of players on the wall....

All in all it was a fun to see the museum but I wouldn't pay separately to see the stuff that was there.  If you book a tour then the museum admission is included.  One thing that surprised me: How little was made of the GMOAT.  I hope that's because they're trying to figure out how to best commemorate the match.  It would have been really cool to see the grass/dirt stained shirt Rafa wore when he fell to the ground.  Or even some video with commentary.  

Then again, maybe that's not Wimbledon's style.  It's clear from the tour and the museum that they want to focus on the full narrative of Wimbledon and not just singular moments. 

Wimbledo!

So today was the day.  After being in London for a couple of days, days that revolved around excess drinking, it was time to reconnect with oneself and bask in the beauty of the world and all that is holy. 

That's right, it was time to visit the hallowed grounds of Wimbledon.

But first things first.  After I powered down some homemade eggs, back rashers, and toast, it was off to the Gloucester Station to take the tube to the Wimbledon station, where I was set to meet Maz.  It's always fun to actually meet FDers in person and as has been the case with every FDer I've met, Maz was frickin' awesome.  We had a nice chat over tea and she handed over, what I would later discover, was an impossibly delicious homemade pavlova (or as I have come to call it, a Pavlyluchenkova).  She hand whipped the cream, people!  It was delicious and if y'all want to know how to make one, head over to Maz and Kristin's food blog, Coconut Dreamz.  Thanks, Maz!

Once Maz and I said our tearful goodbyes, Donkeygrooming and I hopped back on the train to head to the Southfields station.  You'd think the AELTC would be at the Wimbledon or Wimbledon Park station, but you'd be wrong.  After a 15 minute walk we soon found ourselves at Gate 3, which is the entrance for the Wimbledon museum and the tour.  When you walk in, you're greeted by this:

Squee!

 

The tour started at Court 1, where our tour guide told us that AELTC members can play on any of the courts other than Center Court, Court 1, and Court 2.  He said Court 1 is occasionally used for other tennis matches, namely Davis Cup, and he sheepishly informed us that a rather forgettable Davis Cup tie was played there a few months ago.  "We lost.  We lost badly."  No shit, Sherlock.

 

This is a pony roller.  It was used to smooth the grass to get the courts ready for play.  It broke and the AELTC were just going to ask the members for money to fix it or buy a new one.  But then they had a better idea: Let's have a tournament where we charge the players a pound to play and invite spectators to watch (and charge them too, obviously).  They did, players did, spectators did, and thus, The Championships at Wimbledon were born.  Cool story, no?  If that pony roller doesn't break, who knows what would have happened.

 

Pristine and beautiful Court 1.  The lawns have been reseeded so the grass was looking particularly lovely.  It's currently surrounded by an electric fence to keep the foxes from destroying the new grass.  Hilariously, the tour guide asked the group what they thought the fence was for.  "To keep the pigeons out?"  "Nice try, love, but can't they fly?"  I sniggered like a jackass.

From there it was on to Henman Hill, or Murray's Mound.  I'm sticking with Henman Hill.  The tour guide kept referring to Andy as being in the Top 3, to which DG and I muttered, "uh...top 4".  It was actually pretty hard not to want to correct the guy whenever he got into actual tennis details. 

The big TV basically goes up in that gap and extends higher than the stadium.  Pretty rad.

 

Betcha 10 quid that Pimmy skinnydips in this fountain next year.  No takers?  Yeah, wise.

 

After a walk past Court 18 and the BBC broadcast area, we were taken up to the player's cafeteria area to see the new Court 2 (it's that bowl) and new construction.  They're rebuilding the old Court 2 and turning it into a new Court 3.  Unclear whether it will have a helipad built in.

 

A walk past this...whatever...

 

And then it was Center Court.  So awesome.  Unfortunately the scoreboards had been taken down so I didn't get to see the Fed/Roddick scoreline.  

But the Wimbledon gods totally made up for it when all of a sudden the roof started to close.  It wasn't scheduled to happen but they were doing some tests.  It was pretty cool.

And that was the extent of the tour.  I also visited the Wimbledon Museum, which was hilarious for so many reasons.  Will deal with that in a separate post.  Right now I gotta eat my shepherd's pie and then run off to see La Cage Aux Folles.  Hopefully I come home a bit tipsy.  Because a drunken me blogging about the Wimby Museum could be good.

 

Rolex: Better Than A Fortune Cookie

They sign Ana a mere days before she goes on to win her first Slam.  And now they placed ads all over the place pretty much tapping Fed and Serena to win Wimbly.

Impressive stuff, Rolie.  Impressive.

Maybe Georgie Stoop Is Onto Something...

Boyfriend demanded I read it.  I read it.  I cried a bit:

Andy Roddick is not George Bailey. He's not ordinary. He's the No. 6 tennis player in the world. He's a multi-multi-millionaire tennis player married to a swimsuit model. He hops around the world and hosts Saturday Night Live and probably wouldn't even want to win the lottery because of the tax complications.

But here's the thing: He wanted to win Wimbledon. I mean, yes, of course he wanted to Wimbledon, but you could see from the first point on that he WANTED to win Wimbledon, that it was hugely important to him, that it was everything to him. You could surmise from his look and intensity that this was, in fact, what he had been dreaming about since he was a little boy. This was his moment, and few really thought he could win. As soon as the match began -- Roddick facing off against maybe the greatest tennis player ever on his favorite surface -- I felt like it was Roddick staring into the mirror and asking himself that same question that I think most people ask themselves at some point in their lives: "Am I good enough?"

And he was good. He was very, very good. Federer is a beautiful tennis player who hits so many brilliant and impossible-to-reproduce shots that the opponent, at some point, goes, "Oh, geez, what's the point?" I think this is why Rafael Nadal is one of the few players to have success against Federer; he doesn't care about those beautiful shots.

And I think Roddick psyched himself up to not let Federer's splendor blind him on this day. He won the first set by breaking Federer (in rather stunning fashion) and he had Federer on the ropes in the second set. It was, in fact, a shot late in the second set that brought me entirely over to Roddick's side. He was serving at set point, and he charged the net, and Federer was out of position and hit a high shot to Roddick's backhand. It was not an easy volley, certainly not for anyone less than world class. But it was a volley that Roddick could have put away. It was a volley, I imagine, Roddick will see in his mind again.

He missed that volley, of course, Federer won the second and third sets, Roddick showed guts and won the fourth, and then it came down to that massive fifth set with neither player able to break the other's serve. It wasn't especially glamorous tennis -- not like last year's match between Federer and Nadal -- but it was ultra-compelling not (as I expected) because of Federer's chase for his 15th Grand Slam but because of Roddick's desperate chase to beat Federer on Centre Court and be the best in the world on this day.

And the chase became more and more desperate as the games went along. Even though I knew all the while that Roddick would lose at the end, I kept hurting with him, especially in the final games when it was clear that while he might hold off Federer (and he did hold serve TEN STRAIGHT TIMES with the match on the line), he would never actually beat this beast. Federer's last few games were ace after ace after ace; he was in complete control. At some point, the realization had to hit Roddick (like it hit everyone who was watching) that he was only postponing the inevitable. He was not going to win Wimbledon.

That point was the 30th game of the final set. Federer did not hit a single great shot in that game. He simply put the ball in play. And Roddick, who had been so great for so long, made errors and lost the match.

When it ended, Roddick looked like a broken man. And I could feel that pain with him -- couldn't we all? He was damned good. He was probably better than he had ever been in his life. And he wasn't quite good enough. Isn't that the saddest thing about sports? Isn't that the feeling that we all have at that point when we realize that we won't play big league ball, we won't be an NFL starting quarterback, we won't be on the 18th green putting to win the Masters? I remember playing someone on a high school tennis court, losing convincingly and then doing the math: If I wasn't good enough to beat this guy (and I wasn't good enough), and he wasn't even the best player on the team (not even the second best) and our team wasn't that good just in our community (our team wasn't good at all) and Charlotte, N.C., wasn't exactly a tennis mecca and some of the best tennis players nationally weren't even PLAYING high school tennis, they were already out on junior tours or even professionals ... well, wow, I wasn't good enough.

Roddick stared out at the court, and he seemed to be on that aqueduct between crying and bravado, and then he said a few words -- congratulated Federer, thanked the fans, all that. Then Federer, trying to be a gentleman like always, tried to compare Roddick's feelings of loss to his own one year earlier when he had lost to Nadal. Roddick was not having any of it: "Yeah," he said, "but you had already won five times." Federer smiled and repeated the line without a terrible amount of sympathy. There was no way Federer could understand.

But I felt like I did understand. I really like Andy Roddick now. On Sunday at Wimbledon, he offered that rare fan feeling: He made me feel like we had been through something together.

Pic This: And Now For The Fifth Stage Of Grief...

Oh, stop it.  It's a pretty picture and they both look good.

The trophies, I mean.

The British Press Get On Their Knees, Give A-Rod A Consolation BJ

Well, at least some of them. 

Roddick went back to his chair, dropped his racket at his feet and stared at the ground, to be roused by shouts of "Roddick, Roddick". Not even in New York, at home, where he won his ground-breaking first grand-slam title in 2003, had the crowd reacted to him so. He rose and applauded them back. One hoped that at home, the Americans were raising their chilled beers to him. He had been heroic, he had been human, he had given all he had.

They realize it was Andy RODDICK, right?  Ok, just checking.

Pic This: Right-Click, Set As Desktop Background

Oh, come on.  You know you want to.


Thank God there's a second one.  Now I can replace my curent iPhone screen.

Eight Hours Is Up. And Now For The Airing Of The Grievances.

Unless you're wearing that ironically, you're a fucktard. 

Fuck you and your non-ironic statement t-shirt.


Sure, just sink into that hug, fucker.  Fuck you and your neediness.


Hey!  What does that 15 stand for?  15 ways you've been a douchebucket over the years? 
Can I start the list?  Fuck you and your color coordinated jacket.


Fuck you for not issuing a code violation for general douchetasticness.

Fuck you and your condescension.  I would think you've had a few recent, first hand examples of winning with class.  But I guess you were too self-absorbed in your sorrow and tears to take notes. 

Fuck you for not whacking him with that plate.


Fuck you and your impossible ability to outserve Andy on his best serving day, like, ever.


Yeah, you're a Fed fan.  OBVIOUSLY.  Fuck you.


Fuck you for giving me hope.


Fuck you and your lip-quivering wifeyness.


Mmmm....I do want to fuck you.


Fuck you for being awesome but marrying that fucker. 


Fuck you for making me cry.


Sigh.  FUCK.  YOU.

Phew!  I feel so much better.

Oh, and before all you FedTards start trying to sign up for accounts to flame me, please look up the word "irreverent".  It'll do you good.  Oh, and also, fuck you.

Can I Get A "1 (But It Doesn't Count Because It Wasn't Wimbledon), But Keep On Trying, Andy" Splash Page?

No?  Ok.  Just thought I'd ask.

Pic This: "Step Away, Crazy Lady"

Congrats to ALG and Mark Knowles for their mixed doubles title. 

Wimbledon really needs to lock down their security.  Too many crazies running about.

Tricky Dick

I think it's funny that when he was #2 he had no problem waving the "#1" finger around, but now that he's back to #1 it's all about the deuce.  Ah well, do what you do, GOATBucket.

And today he did what he does, coming back to beat a TOTALLY FUCKING DESERVING A-Rod in five sets, 57 76 76 36 16-14.  That's quite the scoreline and all the pictures of a completely gutted Andy, who once again has to hold the consolation prize in another Slam final tussle with Roger, says it all.

I've never hidden my dislike for Andy, which has primarily been driven by his Ugly American jackassery, which rears its ugly head more often than anyone would like to admit.

But for all of that ugly crap, there are matches like today's, where Andy puts it all on the line, works his ass off, leaves it all on the court, and then, when he falls short and suffers ungodly heartbreak, stands there and takes it like man.  I was really proud of him today and I mean that with no condescension intended.  Good on ya, Andy.

 

So congrats to all my FedKids (Vetmama, greenhopper, Jackie, gauloises, C1, Pspace, Carrie, 'Pop, Maz).  Y'all have had to endure a lot of shit over the past year (90% of it coming from me, obviously) and your boy has finally come through.  Must feel pretty damn good.  As your reward I will bite my tongue for the next 8 hours to give you time to celebrate before I tear Fed a new one. 

Enjoy the silence.

Pic This: ZOMG, MICHAEL BALLACK!!!

Ugly shirt.  Pretty man.

Air Quotes: All for Naught.

Q. How would you describe what you did today?

ANDY RODDICK: I lost.

15.

Good thing that monogram was there.  Otherwise I'd never know who this was.

Just kidding.  The wrist hair gave it away.

Still watching the match.  Don't have much to say just yet.  But knowing the outcome I'm already gutted for Andy.  He blinked five times.  But I guess when you're playing the GOAT that's all he needs.

Anyway.  Figured people might need to vent.  Feel free in the comments (as though you needed any encouragement). 

All I'll say is that I'm really looking forward to seeing the "15" on Fed's Nike jacket.  Maybe then my sadness for Andy will transform into pure unadulterated spite for the GOATbag.

Something Tells Me This Will Be My Lone Bright Spot At Wimbledon

 
Boo.


Yay!


Congrats, you Serbian cutie patooties. 

3 for 4

And so it goes.

Congrats to Serena.  She beat her big sister in straight sets, 76 62, breaking Venus' 34 set win streak at Wimbledon.  ReRe now has 11 majors.  Haven't seen the match yet so can't really comment, but this is quite the accomplishment for Serena.  She now holds 3 of the last 4 majors.

And Serena was keen making sure you know that:

Q. How much of a motivation is it for you to try and regain the world No. 1 ranking?

SERENA WILLIAMS: You know, I'm not super motivated. I think if you hold three Grand Slam titles maybe you should be No. 1, but not on the WTA Tour obviously, so...

You know, my motivation is maybe just to win another Grand Slam and stay No. 2, I guess (laughter).

Q. Does that disappoint you?

SERENA WILLIAMS: No. If it did, I would go crazy just thinking about it. I think anyone really could. That's just shocking. But whatever. It is what it is. I'd rather definitely be No. 2 and hold three Grand Slams in the past year than be No. 1 and not have any.

Q. Do you see yourself as No. 1?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I see myself as No. 2. That's where I am. I think Dinara did a great job to get to No. 1. She won Rome and Madrid (laughter).

...

Q. We all know the slams are the key events in our sport. Do you think someone somewhere should sit down and maybe tweak the ranking system a little bit so we don't have this problem?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Uhm, I mean, maybe if I'd have done better at the French Open, like got to the semifinals, maybe things would have been different. But, uhm, honestly, I'm not picking on anybody. Everyone works hard.

I think the girl, Dinara, who is No. 1, you can clearly see by her physique how hard she works. You can't get anywhere by not doing the best and not working your hardest.

So, you know, I'm happy for her. I'm really excited that I won Wimbledon, though, because, like I said, I'd rather win that than not win the Championships.

Q. With all due respect, we're just talking about the system on paper the way the computer works. Do you think that should be changed?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I don't know. I don't know what can be changed. I feel like I've had a pretty consistent year, though, you know. I haven't lost too early. I got a little injured, but I fought through it. So it's been pretty consistent reaching at least the further rounds of different events.

But I don't know what to do to be No. 1. I don't even care anymore. I'm just happy to be here.

Yes, it's weird for a player to win 3 of the 4 majors and still be #2.  That said, let's see, Dina lost to Serena at USO, Serena at AO, Kuz, the eventual champ, FO, and Venus at Wimbly.  Not the most horrible record at Slams.  Serena lost to, well, a lot of people you may or may not even name at various non-Slams (Patty Schnyder? Klara Zakapalova?  Lena?  Vika?).  I'm not saying it's the same and yeah, Serena should probably be considered the best player in the world.  But come on, just admit that you suck during the other event that, whether you like it or not, allow for the WTA to exist. 

So I'm not capping on Serena for being annoyed.  She should be.  But she should be annoyed at herself or the system.  She shouldn't be ripping on the other players.  You're the best player in the world, Serena.  Now maybe it's time to grow up and treat that label, and all the burdens it entails (oh, like being a good ambassador for the sport) accordingly.  You can only play the "bratty little sister" card for so long.

As for Venus, I'm bummed for you.  I don't know what happened there but I do wish you would have won.  But you'll always be the #1 Williams in my heart, which isn't saying much, but it's saying something, I suppose.  From one big sister to another, mucho props.  You stay classy, baby.  The pride and dignity with which you carry yourself just breaks my heart sometimes.  And if that class, pride, and compassion means you don't win as many Slam, so be it.  You're still the better Williams to me.

Pic This: America, Fuck Yeah!

If I walked into a dark alley and saw these two waiting for me, I might have to shitting the pants.

Pardon if there's no blogging for a while.  I need to run out and find me that cardy.

Obligatory "Fuckthatguyhemakesitalllookssoeasy" picture.

Miles!!!  Nomnomnom...

Not this year.

Getting ready for Sunday, I see.


They make take my life, but they're never take away my Judy!

Alba gu bra!  Alba gu bra!

When did B-Decks turn into Bridgette Wilson?  Weird.

America.  Destroying the dreams of people of all race, creeds, religions, and fandoms.

Happy Independence Weekend, everyone! 

Remember, 10 fingers is equal to greater than or equal to 9 fingers.  Be responsible.

Air Quotes: Zing!

Q. Do you have anything you would like to ask one another as you've thought about the press conferences each of you has held during this fortnight on different days and seen each one play? What question do you have for one another at this point?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Are you ready to get out of here (laughter)?

VENUS WILLIAMS: Ditto (smiling).

Was This An Exo Or A Slam Semifinal? Jesus.

 


If you're not going to take it seriously, why should we, Tommy?


In what was clearly the "I'm just happy to be here" match of the day, Fed beat Tommy 76 75 63. 


Onward and upward, Fed. 

I can't believe I'll be rooting for you while I'm sleeping on Sunday morning.

Pic This: "Oh, Honey. That Diamond Is So...Cute."

 

You Made Kim Sears Cry. I Hope You're Proud Of Yourself.

Behind those aviators lie the eyes of a sad puppy. 

Well congratulations are in order, I suppose.  Congrats to A-Rod for being the nail on the on Wimbledon coffin for me.  Everyone tells me I'm supposed to think SW19 is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but...no.

But seriously, A-Rod deserves much props.  I totally thought he would be Muzz but I didn't want to believe it.  But the guy's serve is clicking, he's in great shape, and he's playing with clear purpose and focus.  He won't beat Fed but I'm not sure anyone would on Sunday.  So sure, why not, let's send the American Bully into Center Court to get slaughtered.  Why not?

 

As for Muzz, he'll be fine.  He played well (apparently, seeing as how NBC WON'T SHOW ME HIS MATCH FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS!!!), but A-Rod was just serving too well today.  It happens, and it definitely happens at Wimbledon.

Q. Overall, how would you assess this tournament?

ANDY MURRAY: I think it's been very good. I did better than I ever had before. I had some very good matches. And, you know, I thought I played good tennis.

I thought I dealt with everything that was sort of put in front of me well. You know, I'll come back next year and try and do better.

But it was a good tournament. Wasn't bad at all.

Q. On that point, you went a round further than last year; you're 22 years old. You'll leave here more convinced that you can win Wimbledon now?

ANDY MURRAY: Yeah, I think I have a chance. And I think the way that I played this year, you know, it was very, very close to getting to the final. If I give myself those sort of opportunities and keep playing well, and my consistency in the Grand Slams the last year or so has been much, much better, you know, a final, a semi and a quarter, I'm going to give myself opportunities to do it.

I believe I can win a Grand Slam, whether it's Wimbledon or US Open or Australia or whatever, I'm going to give myself chances.

Q. What is the overriding memory or lesson that you take from this slam to put into future matches?

ANDY MURRAY: I'm not sure. I mean, I need a bit more time to think about that. But, like I said, it's been a very good, productive tournament for me. I think, like I said, I played well. You know, unfortunately the last few slams that I've lost I've come up against some guys that have played great, great tennis.

You know, mentally for me, I've got much better at it, understanding that guys can do that against you. That's happened to me a few times now in slams. I need to keep making sure I bring my best game to the court in every match.

See you in 5 weeks, Muzz.  Spend some time some time with your ugly girlfriend. 

As for A-Rod, have fun getting fucked in the ass by Roger on Sunday.  Hope his dick doesn't break off.

SW19: Friday OOP

Centre Court  13:00 Start
1. Gentlemen's Singles - Semifinals
Tommy Haas (GER)[24] v. Roger Federer (SUI)[2]
2. Gentlemen's Singles - Semifinals
Andy Roddick (USA)[6] v. Andy Murray (GBR)[3]

Pic This: Awk-Ward.

"Never you mind. A guy got to sometimes."

Sometimes, you just gotta put Lennie out of his misery.  And if you're a good friend, you do it quickly and mercifully. 

Venus is a good friend.  Maybe she'll buy Dina a puppy after the 1 and 0 drubbing.  Or maybe she'll just tell the media to back the fuck off of Dina.  I think I prefer the latter:

Q. This isn't your fault obviously because you played really well, but it's embarrassing for women's tennis to see the No. 1 destroyed in that way, isn't it?

VENUS WILLIAMS: Why do you put it like that?

Q. You played very well.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Are you trying to be down on women's tennis?

Q. I'm trying to be down on the way that Safina is the world No. 1 representing women's tennis.

VENUS WILLIAMS: So you're trying to be down basically.

Q. Not on women's tennis, no.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Okay, because I don't deal with down at all.

Q. It's not down.

VENUS WILLIAMS: I'm just making sure you're not trying to be down, because I respect Dinara Safina immensely, and I think you should, too.

Q. I do.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Thanks.

So Dina gets drubbed by Serena on Serena's best surface.  She also gets drubbed by Venus on Venus' best surface.  Hmmm...who did Dina beat on her best surface this year?  Oh yeah, Venus, not to mention Serena last year in Berlin.  But yeah, let's just completely forget about that because the vaunted Williamses suck on clay. 

I'm just saying.  All this near-sighted SHE'S A HORRIBLE TENNIS PLAYER bullshit is getting so damn old. 

What a Tease.

That was 2 hours and 49 minutes of scintillating, titillating, thoroughly drive-you-wild stuff.  And then it ended and I rolled over and went back to sleep completely frustrated.

Lena had a match point and, had she just gone up the line as opposed to cross court, she would have booked herself into the final.  But she went for the easier cross-court shot, despite her post-match protestations that she prefers to go down the line:

Q. I don't know if you discussed the match point, but were you thinking about going down the line on the passing shot?

ELENA DEMENTIEVA: You know, I'm disappointed with the shot because I'm very surprised I didn't go down the line. Because, I mean, passing shot, this is my favorite shot to make. And, I mean, maybe it was too quick, so I didn't see she was moving to cover cross‑court, you know.

She was very close to the net. I mean, down the line or even lob would work. But, I mean, it's a game, you know. It was too quick.

That's what you call a choke, people.  When the pressure's on you fall back on what you do well and you execute, not try and be cute and tricky.

But to Lena's credit she kept on fighting and she didn't go away.  She made Serena earn this one.  So all credit to her.  And I think this was a great match for women's tennis.  For all the people (including me) who didn't give Lena a chance in hell to make this a match, she did and scared the shit out of Serena and all the American commentators wetting themselves over WWII.

So a tip of the Yonex cap to you, Lena.  Much respect.

 

"I'm A Little Crazy. I Wouldn't Want To Date Me."

Uh, please watch this.  She actually comes across...sane. 

Huh.

Over and Out.

See ya, Robbie.  We hardly knew ye.  She was suffering from back problems and lost 62 46 86.

No Slapping The GOAT, Ivo

Fed won, Ivo sucks, yada yada yada, GOAT.


Yeah, I would have snuck a fifth of vodka in, too, Kate. 

You and me, honey, you and me.

Nein! Ich habe das nicht gern.

Against anyone else, ANYONE ELSE, ok, maybe I'd be on board with this.


But not today. And not like this. 

Why must you toy with me, Falcon.  Here I was, getting excited that you seemed to be having a nice quiet tournament, where no one was talking about you and you were just marching through the draw.  And then you refuse to show up against Touchdown Tommy?  Why, Falcon?  Riddle me that.

As for Tommy, congratulations, I guess.  I suppose the most annoying thing about this is that Fed's going to stroll into the final and I have to watch your skin and bones fiancee chew gum like a horse while she makes a failed attempt at irony by being an emaciated woman, engaged to a German guy, wearing a Yankee hat, in Britain.  Either you are the most ironic hipster on the face of the planet or you're an idiot.  And seeing as how you're an American "actress" who isn't really famous for anything, I'm going to go with the latter.

Not that I'm at all annoyed or anything.

Pfft.

"I Know What To Do, I'm Just Stubborn In The Head."

Gotta love Dina interviews. She's so honest (too much so sometimes) and it always ends in some kind of therapy session. Also, she can't go 5 minutes without mentioning Z.

Heeeeeey [/fonz]

A-Rod survives a heroic charge by Lleyton and finds himself in the semis.  Whoa.

I honestly don't have much to say about this match because I haven't seen it, nor was I able to scoreboard watch or read anything about it.  But given the scoreline it sounds like it was pretty darn epic.

Tough loss for the Lawnmower Man.  I don't like the dude, but it would have been kinda nice to see him make a run here.  But for serious, as much as I'm not a fan, kudos to Andy.  He put in the hard yards, dropped weight, dropped coaches, and look at him now.  All credit to him for doing what he had to do to put him in a position to do well this year. 

Shit.  I'm going soft. 

Yeah, I'm Gonna Need Some of That In Or Around My JJ Area

AHHHHHHHH!!! KATE!!! 

I love her so much I want to take her out back behind the middle school and get her pregnant.


Easy quarterfinal win for the man, the myth, the Muzz.  Much deserved after that tough one over Stanley.

The Muzz brings out Ewan and Kate.  'Nuff said.  Go Muzz.

Pic This: They Need To Put This Shit On Currency

Like, on gazillion dollar bills.

SW19: Wednesday OOP -- Snausages!

Centre Court  13:00 Start
1. Gentlemen's Singles - Quarterfinals
Ivo Karlovic (CRO)[22] v. Roger Federer (SUI)[2]
2. Gentlemen's Singles - Quarterfinals
Andy Murray (GBR)[3] v. Juan Carlos Ferrero (ESP)

Court 1  13:00 Start
1. Gentlemen's Singles - Quarterfinals
Tommy Haas (GER)[24] v. Novak Djokovic (SRB)[4]
2. Gentlemen's Singles - Quarterfinals
Lleyton Hewitt (AUS) v. Andy Roddick (USA)[6]

Link to the full OOP here.

Also in action: Robbie is up on singles and dubs on Court 18 (2nd and 4th, respectively), Stosur/Stubbsy, Mike Bryan/Mattek vs. HuRRay, and aTomic on Court 14.

C'mon, Robbie!

Proceeds to the third round with a 63 62 win.

Pic This: Va-JJ Edition

Go up and get it, Dina.


Am I drunk at a bar in hell right now?


I'm pretty sure Agi Radwanska can help you with that. She's got nothing but time.


You can do it, put your back into it, Racquet.


Mardy Fish?


Well, yeah.  Then don't bang your head on it, idiot.

Hmm...so many ways I can go with this.  Most of them involve calling Vika a tranny.  But since I'm classy and way better than that, I'm not going to make those jokes.  And shame on you for even thinking them.

You can't even see me, my road is so high.

On The Line

Looks like Muzz got a load full of pizza in his belly, a good 12 hours of sleep, and he was all smiles and relaxation during his light practice.

C'mon, Andy!

If you're wondering how crazy Murray Mania is, look further than the queue for walk up tickets. 

These people have been camped out since before yesterday's match ended. 

Oh, and 54% of the TV sets in Britain were tuned into Mr. Muzz's match.  So...yeah.

OK. I Love You Again, ESPN.

I might forgive the Safina heaping if you keep putting together awesomeness like this.

This Is Getting Ridiculous.

From ESPN's Tennis home page:

With all eyes on the seemingly invincible Williams sisters, will Dinara Safina wash away her miserable Slam failures or crack under the pressure of the Wimbledon semis?

With a link to this article.

Hello!  EVERYONE THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO LOSE IN THE FIRST ROUND.  Now we're putting pressure on her to beat Venus in the semis?  Really?

Whatever, ESPN.

Oh, Yeah. She's Here.

Lena D., who has quietly made her way through the draw (and let's face it, hasn't really been tested) is into her second straight Wimbledon semifinal.  Good luck against Serena.  You're gonna need that and then some.

Well...That Was A Letdown.

Well, in their first "no excuses" match, Vika gets dusted by Serena, 2 and 3.  That was disappointing.  I didn't want Vika to win but I at least wanted her to make a match of it.  I guess there best matchups (from a competitive match perspective) is going to be on hard courts.

Q. How, if at all, is Serena's game different on the grass than on the hard courts?

VICTORIA AZARENKA: Well, the serve I think is more efficient, you know. It's harder to return. The groundstrokes are also faster on the grass.

But, I mean, the game she played today, if she would play on hard courts or on any other surface, it would be pretty good, you know. It was just her day, you know, and she played amazing tennis.

Serena to her credit looked awesome.  It was definitely her best match of the tournament.  She'll take on Lena D. next.

Outclassed.

 

Different tourney, same result.

Question: When is the last time you remember Agi taking down a major scalp?  And I don't mean a slumping Ana from a couple of months ago.  I mean a legit, sit up and take notice, she's so wily and crafty, win?  I can't remember any significant takedown since Masha two years ago.  Sometimes I feel like she's still trading on that win. 

But anyway, once again, Agi was completely outclassed by Venus at a major.  Maybe this is just a pure matchup problem, but I'm definitely on the "SELL" side of A-Rad.  I'm just not feeling it anymore.  I like you for your off-court artistic skills and your propensity to stink-eye, neither of which require you to hold a racquet.

As for Venus, that's 30 straight sets on grass.  She hasn't lost here since 2006 when she lost to JJ (or Ana, if you believe the LA Times).  I don't generally like watching either Williams Sister on any surface, but I do like watching Venus on grass. 

It's pretty:

Good stuff.

Boom Boom, Pfft.

Yup, this ugly sack of shit won despite serving 15 double faults.  Or, you know, more, according to her:

Q. Are you working specifically on the mental side of your game?

DINARA SAFINA: If I would work, I would not serve 250 double‑faults today, (laughter) because it's just my brain sometimes doesn't do the things that I have to do.

...

Q. Where did these 15 double‑faults come from?

DINARA SAFINA: 15? I thought it was much more (smiling).

Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes even I don't know what I'm doing with my serve. I mean, yesterday's match I'm serving the whole third set very good. Suddenly I warm up, I'm serving good, everything good, and suddenly I come and just... I think for the serve, it's not me there serving.

Because there I say like, Okay, go down, go up, do this. Then I toss the ball and I'm already by the fence running. I am just escaping the serve.

But seriously, nice gut out win by Dina.  No, it wasn't pretty, but she's a fighter and that's what she did again after dropping the first set.  She's now been to the semifinals of all of the last four Slams.  Not too shabby for the faux #1.

A really impressive run by Boom Boom but it she just ran out of gas today.  How else can you explain the fact that she can't even beat a fat ugly girl who served 15 double faults?  Can't wait to see what she can do during the hardcourt season.  That said, rest up, kiddo.  Your body is falling apart.

So Dina will face Venus in the marquee matchup of the semifinals. 

Well, if you like ugly people on your marquee.

Air Quotes: Ugh. Now You're Ugly *And* Cocky.

Q. Amélie just said that she thought that the ball was flying a little bit more once the roof was closed. Did you sense any change?

DINARA SAFINA: By me wasn't flying. Was flying in (smiling).

Air Quotes: I Have To Confess, I'm Kind Of Loving Serena This Fortnight

Q. Is it better to be young and hungry or a little more elderly and savvy?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Be careful (smiling).

Q. I was trying to be careful.

SERENA WILLIAMS: We don't want a scuffle.

...

Q. Do you need someone to push you to find that next gear?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Maybe I just need an espresso.

...

Q. There's been some controversy about the Wimbledon playing committee perhaps picking players for their looks rather than their tennis talent on Centre Court. They are saying that good looks are a factor with who plays on Centre Court. What do you think about that as an extremely accomplished tennis player who should be on Centre Court?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, I think Roger's hot, but he's married, so...

...

Q. I'm sure you see your sister every day. Are you aware of her presence on the other side of the draw?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Am I? I was hitting with her the other day. She was beating me, so I was mad. I thought I was playing really well, so it was just like frustrated.

...

Q. What's happening here? You said you were getting mad at her, admitting differences. Are we getting a differential between Serena and Venus that we didn't see before?

SERENA WILLIAMS: You said I was getting mad at her?

Q. You got mad at losing to her.

SERENA WILLIAMS: I'm always mad. You guys know I'm really bratty. This is nothing new, so...

But my favorite, soda out the nose Serenage:

Q. Why is [Venus] so slow to adopt things like Twitter and Facebook?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Yeah, she's really artsy and into smart things like ‑‑ I don't know, she's into getting ‑‑ learning languages and getting degrees. I'm into Twitter, so... We're quite different, so...

LOLz.

Air Quotes: L-Rob. Still Awesome.

She's awesome.  That is all.

Q. Does it feel like starting all over again?

LAURA ROBSON: What, to seniors you mean?

Q. Wimbledon.

LAURA ROBSON: No (smiling). I've already been here for a week.

Q. But it's a fresh start.

LAURA ROBSON: Yeah, but I've still like been here. I don't know. But yeah, it's a new tournament.

Q. Was it a bit nerve‑wracking defending a title?

LAURA ROBSON: Defending it?

Q. Yeah, trying to win it again. You know, you are the champion there to be beaten.

LAURA ROBSON: Yeah, but it was only first round.

Q. That's what I mean, though; every girl is playing you as the champion, aren't they?

LAURA ROBSON: Yeah, I wasn't really nervous today, so it was fine.

...

Q. How many autographs did you have to sign after your first round fixture in the girls' championship last summer? Because you were detained quite a long time when you came off court tonight.

LAURA ROBSON: Yeah, I got a letter, as well. A young guy slipped me a letter.

Q. What was in the letter?

LAURA ROBSON: Don't know. Didn't read it.

Q. It's not a proposal, is it?

LAURA ROBSON: I wouldn't know. I hope not because then I would have to decline. (Laughter.)

No, last year I think there were still quite a few people, just like, oh, it's a tennis player, might as well get her autograph. But this year, hopefully they know who I am.

Q. Last year did you have to sign any autographs and then say who you were?

LAURA ROBSON: No, but I got a couple last year where they were like, "Yeah, can you sign this," and then they'd ask, "No, can you actually like sign your name rather than just your signature." But yeah, this year they seemed to know who I am, which is good.

...

Q. Do you feel as though you are a marked woman, a marked girl, in this championship? You are, as it's been said, the defending champion. You're there to be taken down. Last year you came onto the scene sort of under the radar. This year you're very much ‑‑

LAURA ROBSON: Well, I'm not the No. 1 seed, and I've lost to a couple of the girls in the draw, so I wouldn't say I'm the one ‑‑ I'm probably the one everyone wants to beat because I won it last year. But there's quite a few other girls in the draw that are pretty tough, too.

Q. Do you feel that weight of expectation?

LAURA ROBSON: No. Nope. Simple answer.

...

Q. I spoke to Melanie Oudin that you beat in the second round last year. She decided not to this year because she had done enough juniors. Is that just an age thing?

LAURA ROBSON: No, it's up to the individual because I know Michelle Larcher De Brito stopped playing juniors when she was like 14, which in my opinion might have been a bit young because then it really limits the amount of tournaments you can play each year.

No, I mean, it's up the individual. I'm happy to keep playing juniors.

...

Q. Will you read the letter you received or has it already gone in the bin?

LAURA ROBSON: I didn't put it in the bin. My coach took it and I don't know what he's done with it. But I think it all goes into a pile, which I might read and I might not.

...

Q. Will you be replying to them?

LAURA ROBSON: I don't know, yeah. It depends. If it's from ‑‑ no, it depends. I'll stop there.

...

Q. What about the smaller crowds? Is that noticeable when you're on court, and you're not playing on Court 2, you're on Court 14? Do you notice?

LAURA ROBSON: I don't mind which court I play on. They're all the same grass courts to me, so yeah.

It would have been a bit silly if they put me on a bigger court for my first round junior match, so it was good scheduling.

SW19: Tuesday OOP -- HEY LADIES

Yes, all the dubs and kids are playing too.  But let's be real.  We need to focus now and give the pootang some love. 

Centre Court 13:00 Start
1. Ladies' Singles - Quarterfinals
Dinara Safina (RUS)[1] v. Sabine Lisicki (GER)
2. Ladies' Singles - Quarterfinals
Victoria Azarenka (BLR)[8] v. Serena Williams (USA)[2]
3. Gentlemen's Doubles - Quarterfinals
Bob Bryan (USA)[1] v. Bruno Soares (BRA)[5]
Mike Bryan (USA)[1] Kevin Ullyett (ZIM)[5]

Court 1 13:00 Start
1. Ladies' Singles - Quarterfinals
Venus Williams (USA)[3] v. Agnieszka Radwanska (POL)[11]
2. Ladies' Singles - Quarterfinals
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v. Elena Dementieva (RUS)[4]
3. Gentlemen's Doubles - Quarterfinals
Lukasz Kubot (POL)[8] v. Daniel Nestor (CAN)[2]
Oliver Marach (AUT)[8] Nenad Zimonjic (SRB)[2]

Andy Murray Wants To Get Inside Your Head.

He's all...not dour. Shock!

"I'm Not Invisible"

Boots/Boom Boom Bumpgate. Sabine probably thought it was just her reflection coming back at her in a mirror.