Forty Deuce

Generation Next. Now.

Do you like winners? ZOMG I LIKE WINNERS TOO! Let's get married!

Petra, Petra, Petra.  Your hossyness over the course of Wimbledon could not be denied.  Sure, we all knew you had talent, but it wasn't until I sat courtside as you dismantled Wicky, *actually* forcing her to break out in a "Well if you're going to play like that I got nothing" smile, that I truly believed. Your game is like nothing else out there.

How great was it to see the overwhelmingly positive reaction to Petra's win?  This seemed like a signal of things to come, and while everyone was waiting for Vika and Woz to be the ones to break through for Generation Next, it was Petra, the relative unknown (I mean that from a casual fan perspective) who absolutely demolished the field and signaled a new kind of game that felt unique and exciting.  Let's face it, it felt a hell of a lot like DelPo's run at the USO in 2009.  The woman puts her head down and grinds, she's charming in a refreshingly understated way, and what she lacks in shyness she makes up for in one of the biggest games currently on tour.  Heck, given current form it is THE biggest game on tour.  She can hit winners from any position, she's greatly improved on her movement, and HOLY SHIT SHE DOESN'T MIND COMING TO THE NET. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND CAN I HAVE MORE PLEASE.

It was a great tournament for the oft-forgotten members of Generation New (yeah, I'm trying out different names).  Not only did Petra break through but Sabine.  OH SABINE!  There has not been a day that has gone by since you crippling injuries that I didn't wonder what the tennis landscape would have looked like with you in the mix.  Another kid with an impossibly big game, her run to the semis was inspired.  That win over Nails and how she took care of business in her matches after that was such a great show of class from a kid who constantly looked like she was just happy to be playing tennis again.  That kind of joy is, unfortunately, rare and it was refreshing.  Unfortunately she played her one bad match when it really mattered, getting dismantled by Masha in the semis.  But from a personal perspective, it was so fun to follow her through the grass court season, first in Birmingham and then at SW19.

I can't wait to see if these two can carry their momentum through to the US hard court season.  They're two likeable women with games that are fantastically fun to watch. 

Bring it on, kids.

(Pics: Getty)

Air Quotes: Belated Wimbly Edition #1

Q. We have a new star at Wimbledon in Li Na who, like you, holds the hopes of an entire nation on her shoulders, albeit a larger nation. Do you have any words of advice for her?

ANDY MURRAY: Well, she's won a slam, so I should be the one asking her for the advice (smiling).

....

Caroline Wozniacki: I think it was 60 million people watching [the Roland Garros final] in China.

Q. 116.

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: Well, close (laughter).

...

Q. You're looking forward to coming back to Wimbledon twice in a year?

RAFAEL NADAL: For sure, yes. I hope so, if I qualify (smiling). If not, wild card (laughter).

....

Q. At 7:00 a.m.?
ANDY MURRAY: Well, that's the thing. You have to give one hour every day where they can come. And because the last that you're ever thinking about when you wake up in the morning is that someone is going to come and drug test you. You put it at 7:00 in the morning because I know I'm going to be in bed. It's just a bit annoying because it was my day off and I was looking for a lie in. And then 7:00, it's like...

Q. So were you asleep at the time?
ANDY MURRAY: Yeah. I was fast asleep. But the thing is, as soon as the bell like from the house went, I sort of like woke up. Took like 10 seconds. Looked at my clock and it was bang on 7:00. It was like, I knew it was them. He rung the bell like six times, as well. It was like... (Laughter.)

Q. It's a bit harsh, isn't it? Surely you can't be happy about that many tests, or is that quite normal?
ANDY MURRAY: Normally around this time of year it's pretty normal at most of the big tournaments. I get tested here when the tournament's done. I'm sure the French Open always tests. And then because I'm at home, they always come right before Wimbledon, and then probably at Davis Cup, as well. Normally at Davis Cup we'll get tested, too. So it's a lot of testing, but just part of our job, unfortunately.

Q. Did you make them a cup of tea when they arrived?
ANDY MURRAY: My Mum did, yeah, which we shouldn't make them cups of tea. You know, it's just very intrusive when you get someone sort of in your house in the morning. When you're going to the toilet and they're staring at you, it's a bit... you know, in your own home, it's just quite strange feeling. (Laughter.)

Q. Are you sure they're drug testers?
ANDY MURRAY: You hope so. I've actually spoken with a few of the players about that in the past that, you know, they could easily... because it's not like we ever check. I don't really check, you know, whatever they're saying.

Q. They don't have a card saying...
ANDY MURRAY: They do, yeah. They do have the card, but I don't know. I mean, you're not going to know if it's real or not, are you?

...

Q. For sports fans back home, how would you explain or describe the level of attention or scrutiny Andy Murray is under here these two weeks, and Tim Henman before him?

ANDY RODDICK: Sure. You know, I've been front and center as far as tennis in my own country for a long time. I don't think it compares to what those guys go through here. I don't feel like I can relate.

You know, he gets the full rundown of he practiced for 36 minutes, then he ate a Snickers bar and then continued for another 14 minutes, and then it's like and that's on page four. We already read the first three pages of the day. You know, it's a little tough (laughter).

...

Q. You've been here a long time now. At one point you were the bad guy upsetting Tim Henman.

ANDY RODDICK: Actually, I never played Tim Henman here. But I'm still the bad guy. Point taken, but... (Laughter.)

Q. You got good support today.

ANDY RODDICK: It felt great. They've always been great to me, even when I was fake beating Tim Henman (smiling).

...

Q. Is it kind of surprising that Roger Federer hasn't really had any kind of injury to take him out?

ANDY RODDICK: Not really. He doesn't even look like he's trying when he plays, so how you gonna get hurt (smiling)?

...

Q. Did you see or hear about Serena's tears on court and can you understand the emotion of a first big win after an illness?

ELENA BALTACHA: I actually saw it. I was sitting watching the match. And do you know what? It was so nice to see her not that it was nice to see her break down; I don't mean it like that. Because I really idolize Serena, to see everything that she's been through, for her to come back here and just let that emotion come out, uhm, you know, because I think a lot of people think we're like machines in a way. Just to see that side of her, because she's a very strong personality, very dominant. And to see her kind of break down, it just shows what it actually means to her to be on court again with everything she's been through.

And you've really got to admire that. You really have to admire that. I really felt for her. It actually brought a tear to my eye. I thought, You've got to snap out of it because you've got a match. But, no, it was lovely to see that.

...

Q. She seemed to run you back and forth a little bit.

NA LI: Yeah, I know. I hate that, you know. (Smiling.) I like it standing.

...

Q. The Wimbledon homepage did an online survey yesterday who was the best looking male player who played Wimbledon in history. Who would have gotten your vote?

VENUS WILLIAMS: Usually I've never liked any of my colleagues. I try to keep it professional, hence no tennis relationships. So it's probably for the best for me to stay out of this. I usually like winners, though (smiling). So anyone winning is pretty cute to me.

...

Q. If your injury hasn't happened before, are you now thinking, Why me? Of all the times for it to suddenly come about. Are you feeling a bit, Why me, at the moment?

HEATHER WATSON: It's exactly how I'm feeling. Could have been another tournament. Why this one?

...

Q. At the beginning we heard you say, Oh, don't worry, I'm going to take it off. I'm not going to play with it. Do you think there were people that were actually worried you would play with that jacket on?

BETHANIE MATTEK SANDS: Oh, I don't know. Pam, one of the WTA supervisors, has probably seen a lot of my crazy outfits, so she had a look of worry on her face.

...

Q. Would you be happy to see Scottish players in this British Olympic team, the football team, that's been talked about?

ANDY MURRAY: I don't want to get into any of that political stuff. I've been involved in the Olympics, played under Great Britain, and it was an unbelievable experience. I loved it. It's not for me to decide. It's up to the Federations, that they can decide.

Certainly not getting drawn into any political stuff around this time of year, because we know what happens with that (smiling).

...

Q. No real form coming in here, no coach. What on earth has happened to you?

LAURA ROBSON: You make it sound like I was playing really bad (laughter).

...

Q. Is that mostly in terms of is tennis dying, a country club sport?

ANDY RODDICK: Listen. Here is what we're going to do. If you want to talk about an, Is tennis dying article, let's go by participation numbers, retail numbers, prize money, up, up, up, up, up. I hear this, Tennis is dying. Maybe it's water cooler talk. But I'll put more stock in the business of tennis in our country growing as opposed to having fun conversations around a water cooler.

Q. Why do you think it is that people refuse to accept the stats? The Wall Street Journal printed some stats which said that tennis over the past nine years is the only sport to increase participation in America.

ANDY RODDICK: This kind of gets to my first point. You can just say something and people read it as fact, but it's not researched. If you look at racquet sales, USTA memberships, across the board, it's been up. Do we have four guys in the top five in the world? No, we don't. That's about the only difference. That doesn't mean that tennis is dying. It's an international sport. I feel like a lot of times people refuse to accept that back home, which is unfortunate. It's as international a sport as there is as far as popularity. I feel like it doesn't get its maybe fair shake.

Q. 720,000 people at the US Open.

ANDY RODDICK: Listen, I can sit here and I can have two pages full of pros, the water cooler conversation as a con. So I like to deal in facts, and the facts say the whole dying thing, it's not accurate.

...

Q. So what are you bench pressing?

ANA IVANOVIC: I haven't gone that far yet. I'm still with rubber bands (laughter).

(Source: Wimbledon Website)

Don't Worry. I'm Sure He's Still a Grumpy Prick and You Can Go Back To Hating Him Shortly.

So I camped overnight in the Queue at Wimbledon, right? A more comprehensive description of that experience will follow. But while I was in the Queue I did a thing with ESPN that involved me interviewing other peeps in the Queue (#humblebrag).  It was fun and I met some really interesting people who were, quite possibly, bigger tennis fans than me.  It was...disturbing.

BUT.  Ok, so they were queueing up for Center Court tickets to Manic Monday, which basically required them to start camping on Friday.  The numero uno person in the queue was a chick named Jess, and she had pitched her tent at 4pm on Friday.  She was British.  In fact, 90% of the people in the front of the queue were British.  So I obviously assumed that they had gone out of their way to queue early to guarantee a Center Court ticket because they wanted to see Andy on Center.

I WOULD BE HORRIBLY MISTAKEN.

Nope.  Everyone was queued up for one of three reasons: (1) ZOMG I WANNA SEE CENTER COURT! (2) ZOMG I WANNA SEE RAFA! or (3) ZOMG I WANT TO SEE ROGER. 

Seriously.

So being the unbiased journalist that I am, I proceeded to try and convince everyone that they should be excited they get to see Andrew.  Nope.  They weren't having it.

BUT WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ANDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!??!

• "He's unlikeable."
• "He's so grumpy."
• "He doesn't seem to care."

Lather, rinse, repeat, sigh.  Bummer City. 

I honestly can't think of any other player on the ATP tour who is as misunderstood as my future boyfriend Andy Murray.  I mean, I kinda thought the whole "Scottish/British" Andy apathy was, like, a joke.  But having now been in Britain I can honestly report to you that it is not a joke.  They really don't dig his pasty white cheddar.  The cheers seem reluctant when he's winning and they transform into smug, "told ya so" eye-rolling when he's losing. 

Why?  Because he made a crack about the English football team YEARS ago that was taken COMPLETELY out of context?  Because his voice just doesn't have the proper tone or inflection for you?  Because you can't understand why a guy with a scraggly beard and no personality could possibly pull a hot chick like Kim?  (Sidebar: Kim's hair?  AMAZING)

It's so disappointing.  It's made even more disappointing because it's so obvious that he hears all this and as much as he's like "Nah, I don't feel the pressure and I don't care what people think," HE TOTALLY DOES FEEL IT AND HE TOTALLY DOES CARE. 

Andy's cried publicly twice.  He let the water flow in Melbourne after losing to Roger.  Go back and check the video.  Andy's all fine and whatever UNTIL HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT LETTING DOWN THE BRITISH PUBLIC.  Then the cries kick in in earnest.  Then, at Davis Cup, he's all whatever until he starts talking about the tremendous support he got in Glasgow.  Once again, he's "done".

Every morning when I was standing/sitting/passed out in the Queue, I'd buy a bunch of different morning papers.  It became my ritual and everyone made fun of me for having a stack of three papers that I'd pour through before the queue even started moving.  And every morning I was left shaking my head, scoffing, or rolling my eyes at the way the British press chose to write about Andy.  It's as though they were physically incapable of writing about him without a drop (or overflowing river) of negativity seeping in.  Is it the result of overcompensating in order to show objectivity?  Is it laziness because it's far easier to rehash the same narrative than to work to correct the true narrative?  Is it that they just truly don't like him?  I don't know.  It's probably a combination of all three.

I'm obviously predisposed to loving Andy no matter what, but GOD why do they feel the need to throw the dude under the bus every chance they get?  To paraphrase the ever quotable Katie, who never lets us get negative sitting courtside for her faves, "Shut up!  He can hear you!"

So when I heard that Andy let the tears flow in Glasgow it broke my heart a little.  Here he was, playing for his country a week after he suffered yet another tough loss at a Slam, in front of no more than 3500 people in Glasgow, and the dude was so moved by the overwhelming support he received that he cried.

Andy Murray is one of the few "good guys" on the tour.  What's the basis for this statement?  The fact that I've never seen him out (and trust, I've seen a lot of them out) and I've never heard a story from any insider about any idiocy (and trust, I've heard a lot of stories about a lot of folk).  He doesn't go out, he doesn't try and snag tail, he doesn't cheat on his girlfriend, he doesn't drink, and he's a total momma's boy.  He's got a wickedly dry sense of humor, no one on tour has a bad word to say about him, and he works so damn hard and success obviously means the world to him.  I guess that makes him boring and apparently there is no greater sin in tennis than being boring. 

Get behind your boy, Britain.  Without him you've got nothing.  And if having nothing is better than having Andy Murray, well, I think it's time y'all take a hard look at yourselves in the mirror.  I'm sorry that he's not the potential Champion that you want but he's the potential Champion that you've got.  Deal with it.

 

Pic This: And A Good Time Was Had By (Almost) All...

Mirka, airing it out au naturale.

 

Can someone get Andy a towel please?  Gross, dude.

Right?

Nice to know that Robbo watches the tennis the same way most tennis nerds do: Smart phone in hand.

Celebrities.  They're just like us!

All the women who're independent, throw your hands up at me.
All the honeys who makin' money, throw you hands up at me.
All the mommas who profit dollars, throw your hands up at me.
All the ladies who truly feel me, throw your hands up at me.

"Can I just touch it?  For a second?"
"No.  Get the fuck away."

And so we meet again.

Jesusciano.

...

Truly truly truly fantastic.

Go tennis.

(Pics: Getty, Reuters, AP)

My Two Pence.

Yeah yeah yeah.  It's late and no one cares about the Wimby player party anymore.  BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY.  So here we go.

Not digging the hair, but the dress is colorful, young, and fun.  It kind of makes me want a strawberry daiquiri.  Or a Jamba Juice.  It is also just begging for a nip-slip.  No word on whether that happened but if it didn't I would very much like to know the name of the fashion-tape manufacturer.  I have a roof that needs to be reshingled to withstand gale force winds.

Sometimes people get scared of fashion.  Like, they find it to be this weird place with weird people with weird vocab who make things that look pretty fucking weird and yet the world jizzes itself upon their unveiling and it makes you feel dumb cuz you don't get it.  So people (like how I'm using anonymous "people" to make my argument? Stay with me.), being scared because they don't want to sound like a doof, basically excuse anything that looks nutty as "avant garde" which, apparently, automatically means it's amazing and good. 

I mean, it's bullshit is what I'm saying.

Fashion, like any creative art, is obviously very subjective.  But it's not *completely* subjective.  I don't fucking care that Bethanie is awesome or that this was designed by Gaga's designer.  THESE ARE NOT EXCUSES FOR CRAP.  I mean, first of all, LITERAL MUCH???  Oh, you came dressed like a tennis ball because you are a tennis player who hits tennis balls about to play at a tennis tournament and this party has lots of tennis people who are also going to hit tennis balls at this tennis tournament and everyone loves tennis and oh yeah tennis.  This is *literally* literal. 

Second, aside and apart from the concept, let's go to construction.  Did Alex Noble sit in his minimalist industrial loft in Hell's Kitchen with a can of tennis balls, an exacto knife, and a glue gun?  The skirt is fine and whatever, I guess, but that whole tennis ball bustier fringe action is horrible.  I can totally see Nina Garcia giving crazy stinkface as this goes down the judging runway.  Auf Wiedersehen!

Last, concept and construction down, it just looks bad.  People can talk about how they admire Bethanie for having the courage to wear it and that the courage itself should win the day.  But dudes, I think it's really courageous for someone to walk around naked in a public space.  Doesn't mean that I also don't think "Dude, have some self-respect.  Stop trying so hard to attract attention.  It's pathetic.  Put some clothes on."

Ok, so it's Caro, right?  So we totally know it could be worse.  The fact that Stella didn't tack on a ruffle or 3000 to this thing is a victory.  From this angle the dress looks nice.  I actually quite like it.  It drapes beautifully and I'm a sucker for that shit.  But from the front it looks completely wonk.  The waistline is all crooked and I can't tell if it's a Stella affectation or Woz is wearing it wrong.

As for the hair, look.  I'm struggling to be nice here, really.  But let's just say that Woz has a certain facial feature that is only highlighted when you put her hair up like that.  Let it down, let it loose, and I think she could have really rocked this look. 

Upshot:  Lots to like, lots to hate, and in the end the look fell short.  Sound familiar?

Dance Me In.

It was short-lived but long in fun.  Ivanorazzi never fails to entertain for no other reason than Ana actually seems relaxed and Petko struts around like the big sister that she totally is and somehow gets Ana to act a fool at the drop of a hat.  Glory.

Here's a photo montage of Ana putting on a shirt.  I know the opposite would be preferable for you boys, but you're going to have to take what you can get.  Don't shoot the messenger.

*snicker*

Mission Accomplished!  WTG!

They played a great first round match that had to go very late to finish but then lost their second rounder to Nads and Rodio.  But since they did win one match we got to see the Ivanorazzi jig.  Not that it didn't take actual physical force from Petko to get Ana out onto the grassy dance floor:

 

Too cute. Hope they team up again in New York.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Homecoming.

After two months on the road I'm finally back home in the States. While I didn't get the retardedly amazing hero's welcome that Nole received in Belgrade last night, I am happy to report that my dog Chase did, in fact, recognize me.

Tougher than Wimbledon, guys.  Way tougher.

Q.

Blah blah blah, no internet in Eastbourne, blah blah blah, back in London, blah blah blah, lots of catching up to do, I know.

So now that we've exchanged pleasantries...

WHAT'S UP GUYS!

Here's my quick recap:

• Eastbourne was really trule awesome.  One of my favorite tournaments.
• Shared a bottle of celebratory champagne with a bunch of Sam fans.  A Frenchie, a Swiss, and a Dutchie, all of whom came all the way to Eastbourne to see our girl.  That's pretty cool.
• Was awoken every morning at 4am by the horrifying squacking of seagulls.
• Ran away from Sam three times.  No...wait...four times.
• Stood awkwardly close to Venus as she watched the Mono vs. Lucie match.
• Literally got drunk every single night.
• Avoided the "breakfast" part of my bed and breakfast like a boss.
• Yelled "Good Luck, Petra!" and got bitch-face in return.  Ok...it was more like apathy-face.
• Saw Sam and Jarka argue line calls in their own adorable ways.  My favorite was when a ball from the next court rolled onto theirs during a point.  Sam and Jarka stopped playing and umpire didn't call a let.  The exchange went a little like this:

                                    Sam: "The ball rolled onto the court."
                                    Ump: "I didn't see it until after the point was over."
                                    Sam: "Does it matter when you see it?"
                                    Ump: "I saw it in the middle of the court after the point was over."
                                    Sam: "Well...what did you think the ball was doing before it got to the middle of                                              the court?"
                                    Ump: "That's my call."
                                    Sam: [pointing at Sania and Vezzie] "Look.  Even they're laughing about this."          

            Aaaaand scene.  It was pretty classic. 

• The best thing about Eastbourne was seeing the players stroll around watching matches.  It's just such a relaxed atmosphere and the fans were the type to notice them but not mob them.  I saw Venus and Vika watching Marion, Sam watching Jarka, Shveddy shopping at one of the booths, and Marion stand in line for a coffee with her dad.  It was nice.
• It's easy to make fun of all the old folks at Eastbourne.  Lord knows I cracked a joke or 20.  But I was so impressed by the attendance throughout the week.  It sure did beat the half empty stands at Miami, Madrid, or Queens during the day sessions.  
• I was way more impressed with Venus' level than Serena's.  That said, I didn't watch a single point of Serena's match vs. Vera.  So basically this sentence means absolutely nothing.
• No way Petko makes the second week of Wimby.
• The player who made my jaw drop this week: Aga.  Boy, she really really knows how to work that grass.  The Ninja moved me.
• Dani beating Nails.  Not a surprise but definitely a statement.
• Dude.  British people really know how to rock a picnic.  I stood in awe every day.

More on Eastbourne soon.  I have some great pics and video.  But I'm riveted by Rory and I need to hit the sack to queue up for tickets tomorrow by 6am.  Tennis fans are nucking futs, you guys.

Navs Speaks!

Martina Navratilova is in Birmingham this weekend and she gave a quick presser to talk, well, about anything and everything.  She thinks the grass season should be longer, suggested we bring a jacket to Wimbledon, compared herself to a dolphin (75% play, 25% looking for food) and said that the charity actually got more money because she made headlines for not making up that damn mountain.  "It's just like when I was playing.  I got more headlines if I lost then if I won.  Backhanded compliment, I guess."

Here are her thoughts on the Wimbledon fields:

"I have no idea you know.  It's wide open.  On the men's side you have to look the top four.  I don't see body, maybe Soderling, though he hasn't played that well this year, so the top four are the heavy favorites.  Murray more so now because he did so well on the clay, Djokovic is playing the best he's played in his career, Federer played the best French he's played but a lot of that is because of the balls.  Basically, with these balls on  grass I'd pick Federer for sure.  The balls they play with now, from what I understood, are pretty heavy, the players were struggling, which will help Nadal tremendously, I think Djokovic will be ok, I think it'll hurt Roger.  But Roger's played some of his best tennis at Roland Garros.  So it will be exciting on the men's side.

On the women's side, if Li Na can cope with all of the attention that I'm sure she's getting now she's got a good shot at it.  And she does well on grass.  She won here last year and her game transfers well on every surface.  Maria Sharapova now, I think she's the betting favorite.  She'll be ready.  She loves the grass and she'll be pretty confident after the French. 

The Williams Sisters, it's such an unknown.  They could be in the final or they could go out in the second round because they haven't played.  If Serena wins, is it because she's that good or is it because the rest of the field of women's tennis is not so good.  I think it would be a little bit of both.  We'll see how she's hitting the ball when she comes out.  She's playing Eastbourne.  But it's like betting on a horse that you haven't seen run yet.  She's a triple crown winner.  She'd be a favorite no matter what.  Am I going to get in trouble that I compared Serena to a horse?  She's a thoroughbred that's for sure."

She was awesome.  It reminded me of when BJK gave a presser at Stanford last year.  Two women who are just so comfortable in their own skin and are willing to talk about anything and everything.  Great stuff.

(Pic: Getty)

Please Do Not Enter This Contest.

I feel a little bad about not writing about this earlier, but to be honest, I don't want that many people entering because I'M TRYING TO WIN DA TICKETS.  But that's not a particularly good reason, so here you go:

It's the 125th anniversary of the Championships at Wimbledon this year, so the fancy fancies are hell-bent on giving away tickets to the tournament left and right.

So basically, if you're thinking about coming to London for Wimby (I'll buy you a Pimm's if you do!) but the only thing stopping you is that whole "I don't have a ticket and I sure as hell ain't queueing like an idiot" thing, here's how you can win them:

1. On Wimbledon.com: There are a series of weekly competitions to win tickets including men's finals, ladies finals, etc.  Visit Wimbledon.com and solve the clue to find a page on the site. On that page, you'll see an entry panel, click the panel, answer the question, and hey presto, you're in. Each competition is open for just 24 hours so you need to get in quick! #thatswhatshesaid
2. Facebook: All you need to do is "Like" the Wimbledon Facebook page by the end of May (which, if you're a tennis fan and you haven't already "Liked" all four Slam pages, I don't even know what to say to you), and you can win one of six pairs of tickets to the men's quarter-finals. Wimbledon, stodgy as they are, actually do get the social media thing so if you already "like" the page you'll be entered automatically.

So there you go.  Give it a whirl.  And if you win tickets let me know so I can throw things at you from the queue.

 

Air Quotes: Your Ghostwriter Has Writer's Block?

Q. How is the writing going?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I think I have writer's block again. I don't think I can be a good writer because I keep writer's block about 360 days out of the year.

Air Quotes: Team Edward.

Q. They say you look just like Rob. Do you ever get confused for Robert Patterson? It's a great compliment to look like Robert Patterson.

GILLES SIMON: Too many person told me that at the moment. So, yeah, I think that should be.

But, you know, when someone tell you that you look like someone you're never happy. You just wasn't be yourself .

But I know my coach told it to me the first time, and then Novak Djokovic always call me Robert when he see me.

I can't wait to see Nole and Gilles do "Breaking Dawn" at next year's Monte Carlo Player Party.

Occam's Razor.

For my entire tennis-following life I've been told that "the Channel Slam" is, like, impossible.  Only four players have accomplished it.  So how is it that it's been done three times in the last three years? 

Occam's Razor.

Pic This: More Wimby Ball Cuteness

 

"Roger who?"

Damn, girl, at least use some makeup or something.

Sigh.  What if it were Andy?  Sigh.

Who let Panic! At The Disco in?

I mean, could *anyone* wipe that grin off his face?  Methinks not.

Slightly less goofy.  Slightly.

Dub Luv.

 

Deutschland, Deutschland, Ja, Ja, Ja!  And Austria.  I guess.

 

Totes adorbz.

Suck it, Huber.

Pic This: Willy Wonka

 

Leave it Rafa to pander to the English crowd.

Pic This: "Where Da Party At? Girls On Their Way, Where Dat Bacardi At?"

 

Best martini shaker, evah!

 

A chip and dip plate fit for a queen.

Cute.

I have joke-lock.  Too cute.

Air Quotes: The Last Laugh

Q. You talk about passing Billie Jean. Looking at the names ahead of you, do you ever take a look at that and say, Wow?

SERENA WILLIAMS: No. I mean, I know Martina and I guess five other people are ahead of me. I didn't even know I was six on the list or seven or whatnot. I'm telling you, I don't think about that kind of stuff.

My thing is I love my dogs; I love my family; I love going to the movies; I love reading; I love going shopping. Like it's not on my list to be, you know, this.

At the end of the day, I would love to open more schools in Africa or in the United States, and I would love to help people. I would like to be remembered, Okay, yeah, she was a tennis player, but, wow, she really did a lot to inspire other people and help other people.

That's what I think about, not about Serena Williams won X amount of Grand Slams.

Q. Is there a chance you'll still be playing at 38, do you think?

SERENA WILLIAMS: 38?

Q. Yeah.

SERENA WILLIAMS: If I am, I want you to personally take me off and escort me off the court. There's no way I need to be out here at 38.

Q. Looked like you held up some fingers shortly after the match, pointing towards your family. What was that?

SERENA WILLIAMS: That was 13. I did 10 and 3. Then I thought, I hope I got the number right. You know me, I tend to forget (laughter).

Q. In some way do you take in some pride that not only the USTA apologized to you, but it really did lead to Hawk‑Eye and your getting messed over that night led to a huge change in our game?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Could that have been 14? That could have been 14 today.

Man, yeah. Like, I don't know. I just feel like if it's yours, if it's your point, if it's your goal, it belongs to you. It doesn't belong to the other person. Now that it's 2010, about to be 2011, I guess on other planets they have way more sophisticated things, so...

Pic This: Suck It, France!

Q. How does it feel to be so popular with the crowd here at Wimbledon?

RAFAEL NADAL: You know, probably is the best crowd of the world, no? More respect. They have a lot of respect for every player, I think.

If I speak about myself, was always amazing with me, the crowd, especially yesterday or two days ago when I played against Andy Murray, a British player. For sure the crowd support him, but the same time was supporting me a lot, no? That's unbelievable. Just can say thank you very much. 

I quite loved Rafa going out of his way, both in his winner's speech and his presser to give props to the Wimbly crowd.  A fantastic passive-aggressive dig at the Roland Garros crowd who, despite all the great performances he's given, still haven't warmed up to him.

Mr. Ed Speaks.

I like to read.  I read a lot.  It's a thing.

Anyway, I'm reading "You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You"**, a humor book put out The Believer, part of the McSweeney's empire, wherein comedians give advice. 

I plopped down on the couch to finish it and came across this, from Ed Helms, aka, Andy Bernard:

Dear Ed:  I really, really want to be famous, but I don't have any talents.  Acting, literary, or otherwise.  I'm not even that attractive.  Now: How do I get famous?  -- Christopher, St. Paul, MN.

Dear Christopher:  I admire your moxie and determination!  It is clear from your letter that you already possess all of the necessary requirements to become famous.  In particular, I would encourage you to cultivate your lack of talent, since that has clearly worked well for numerous celebrities.  In addition, fame can often be obtained through association.  To wit, try hanging out in nightclubs with people who are already famous, like Lindsay Lohan or Dick Cheney.  Or might I suggest trouncing Rafael Nadal in the finals at Wimbledon. However you go about it, I wish you good luck and godspeed in your worthy and noble quest!  -- Ed.

Highly recommend the book for shits and giggles if for no other reason than this gem from Samantha Bee:

"Your Lady Flower is a gift to be shared with anyone who asks.  Or shouts at you.  Especially if they keep shouting at you.  That's really macho."

Love me some S. Bee.  Stop knocking her up, Jason!

**Ok, yes, that's a link to Amazon.  But I'm a big proponent of local independent bookstores so to clear my conscience let me say this: Try and find the book in your local bookstore or library.  If you can't, then yeah, buy it off Amazon.  Support your local businesses. [/soapbox]

Pic This: Just Did It.

I wish they would have spelled it "surafaces".  Just to be accurate.

Where There's A Will, There's A Way.

It is finished.

What more can be said about Rafa?  He did what he does.  At this point in his career he virtually impossible to beat when he is healthy and full of confidence.  He had a respectable hard court season before going on a tear over the last 3 months.  Since stepping foot in Europe in the second week of April, Rafa has lost ONE MATCH.  And that was in Queens after he had gone on 22-0 on his way to capturing three Masters shields and Roland Garros.  He's 47-5 on the year. 

It looked like all that work would finally take it's toll on him against Petzchner, as his knee problems seemed to flare up.  I don't know what they did after that match to get him ready, but I'm guessing it involved a lot of that "magic spray" more likely to be seen on a football pitch than a tennis court.  But whatever happened, he played his last three matches with conviction and thankfully, with no pain.

Much like in the women's final, it simply didn't matter who was standing on the other side of the net today.  Sorry, Tomas.  Hell of a month for you, though, and welcome back to the top 10.  Here's hoping you can back it up on the hardcourts. 

Rafa now sets his sights on completing his career slam in New York.  He'll do it ostensibly in good health (he's skipping Davis Cup) and after a much-deserved vacation of fishing, partying, and family back in Mallorca.  There's no reason to think he can't do it. 

Especially when he says shit like this:

Q. How have you changed your game to become so comfortable on grass where you now have two Wimbledon championships?

RAFAEL NADAL: I don't know. The main thing I think is if you want to play well, you gonna find a way. So if you really want to play well in one surface and you are a good player, I think in the end you gonna find a way.

 
Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Pic This: Don't Worry About Bepa...

She knows the safe word.

It's "flugelhorn".

Hey, Does Anyone Know If These Two Have Played Before?

Now, now, boys. Let's be simple about this.

Smash and Grab.

It was over in a little over an hour, and in the end it was nothing surprising.  Serena successfully defended her title, passed BJK in the all time slam list, and reaffirmed her status as the top dog in women's tennis.  Not that anyone needed any reminding.

The story of her run is in one single record-breaking stat: 89 aces.  89 aces in 14 sets.  Want some perspective?  Here you go:  If you take Isner and Mahut out of it, only three men served more aces than Serena for the tournament: A-Rod, Jo, and Tomas.  She served more aces for the tournament than Fed, Rafa, Sod, and Novak, and the same number as Muzz.  She served *69* more aces than the next woman on the stat sheet, Venus.

With those stats it didn't matter who was across the net today.  Sorry, Bepa.  I'm sure Sergey knows a few different ways to cheer you up.  Dropping trou is Step 1.

Must be the Gatorade.

 

Either way, unbeatable.

Pic This: It's Official. Wimbledon Has The Best Celebrity Fans.

I like you very much.  Just as you are.

Air Quotes: Respect.

 

Q. What about Andy, you said to him after the match that he could win a major.

RAFAEL NADAL: I wished him best of luck for the rest of the season, and sorry for today. I know it was an important match for him I think because he play at home, and this is a chance for him to win probably the most important title for him win here at home in Wimbledon.

Just I felt sorry for him because he's a very nice person, very good person. I am sure he gonna win a Grand Slam very soon, because when you have final in US Open, final in Australia, semifinals here this year and the last year, you are there all the time. So one day you win. I am sure he gonna win. He deserve to win.

Q. How well aware are you that he's such a big fan of yours? He kept talking about you're his favorite player to watch.

RAFAEL NADAL: Well, just can say thanks. He don't need to admire a lot of things of me because he's too good to admire me.

Q. Did you feel you got into the rhythm of your own game during the match?

ANDY MURRAY: Well, yeah. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to play every single point on your terms against the best player in the world, one of the best players ever. You can't.

You know, you're going to need to, you know, go through periods in the match where he can be dictating, and there's periods in the match where, you know, I was dictating.

You know, it was tough. But, yeah, I didn't feel like I wasn't in a rhythm. I won a lot of points off my serve. You know, until the end of the match, he didn't have a breakpoint until the last couple of games. Was obviously doing something right.

Q. Talk about the extra weight on your shoulders because of trying to win it for the home team here.

ANDY MURRAY: I mean, there's a lot much pressure playing here. You know, it doesn't affect the outcome of the matches. It's not a valid excuse to make. I've played really well the whole tournament. I obviously want to win for myself. I want to win for the guys I work with. I want to win for, you know, the UK.

You know, a little bit more disappointing than other Grand Slams because this one is, you know, the biggest one of the year for me. And, uhm, yeah, it's tough.

Q. What did Rafael say to you after the match?

ANDY MURRAY: He said, Bad luck. I just said, Good luck for the rest of the tournament. You know, that was it.

But, you know, I've said it for a few years. I love watching him play. He's my favorite player to watch. That's why I enjoy playing him so much. So I hope he wins.

Q. Is it annoying to have to wait so long to receive serve?

ANDY MURRAY: No, I don't care. He can take as long as he wants on any point. I love watching the guy play. No, I don't care. He can take as long as he wants.

Q. Coming off court, Rafa said he thought you'd win a slam and win one soon. What does that mean to you when someone you respect so much has got some faith in your ability?

ANDY MURRAY: I mean, yeah, it's nice. Nice obviously to hear. Uhm, doesn't make losing in one any easier.

Air Quotes: Class

Q. Will those double‑faults play on your mind as you go home, do you think?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, I don't know. It's not just double‑faults. It's just I wasn't going for the shots too much. You know, I was kind of waiting for him to make mistake. I was wrong.

Q. Must be frustrating for you. You were so close and it's not happened for you today.

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, it is. You know, nobody likes losing. Neither do I.

But the fact of the matter is that I didn't deserve to win today, you know. It's just as simple as that. I congratulate my opponent because he was a better player.

Pic This: I Love You, Becks, But You're Like...The Worst Cheerleader Ever.

First England, now Moose. 

 

I'm sure you have an 800 inch 3D tv at home.  You need to use it, dude.

The Curse of Becks is real.

Oh, nevermind.  I take it back.  Keep on comin'.

Revolutionary Road.

Berdych 2.0. 

He's beaten the #2 and #3 consecutively and now gets his shot at the #1 in his first Grand Slam final on Sunday.  Against Nole, just as he did against Fed, Tomas was steady and played within himself, hitting big but also being patient.  That patience and his improved movement were really impressive.  He was willing to engage in rallies with Nole until he worked out a good opportunity to take a crack.

As for Nole, this was heartbreak.  To work his way back into that second set tiebreak with some stunning play and overcoming some cringeworthy bad luck (how the hell do you miss a call on a lob on the baseline???), he fought off set point after set point and even held a set point himself.  And then, of course, because the Tennis Gods insist on keeping him in the cellar, he double faults on set point to give the set to Tomas. 

Yeah, I would, too.

From there the kid was emotionally drained and couldn't summon the energy and drive to fight in the third set.  All credit to Nole, he saw the match right: Tomas was the better player today.  But I hope the kid takes heart.  This was a redemptive tournament for him.  He came in as an afterthought and comes out as the #2 player in the world, playing some solid tennis along the way.  I hope he sees the positive and doesn't dwell on the negative.  This was a great tournament for him.

Breakin' Me.

Hoss. 

That's what you are.  Relentless, unforgiving, immovable, gutsy, and courageous. 

You put everything I love about you on display today to absolutely crush my heart.

Oh, Andy.  Andy, Andy, Andy.  Unlike against Fed 6 months ago, you brought your game today.  You showed up, you played well.  In fact, for some stretches of the match, you seemed like the better player.  You served so well!  You were moving beautifully.  You were serving and volleying and otherwise getting to net!

But you couldn't summon your absolute best when you needed to.  Serving for the second set, after Rafa gifted you a set point with a double fault, you couldn't get your first serve in.  Up a break in the third, you couldn't capitalize on Rafa's dip in form and gave the break back and then couldn't hold off Rafa's charge.  You absolutely did not play poorly.  You absolutely played well.  

But you absolutely won't be winning Wimbledon this year. 

And I am absolutely gutted for you.

Cat Fight!

For 99.9% of FD readers, tomorrow is an awesome day.  Fed's not involved and there's every reason to root for each of the final four to win.  For Tomas, it'd be a hard earned reward for accomplishing the impossible.  For Nole, it would be a roar of "I'M RELEVANT, GODDAMMIT!" and further cement his #2 ranking.  For Rafa, it would be a cap on an amazing two-month run and further solidify him as the #1 player in the world.  And for Andy, it would finally shut up the British press.  OK, that last one is wishful thinking, but it would at least make him the first Brit to win a Slam since Fred Perry.

All great narratives.  All worthy of a final berth.  All feel good stories.

Fuck that.

You should be rooting for Nole and Andy.  And here's why:

As If There Were ANY Doubt That She's The Smartest Woman On The WTA Tour...

BEEEEEEPPPPPAAAAAAA!

Nice comeback today against the still impressive Pronk to make her first Slam final!  And no, she didn't lose her shit.  Sadly.  But we have one match to go.  Losing your shit on Center Court?  Now that's some legendary shit losing.

This is just so great to see from a woman who busted her ass to get to the top 5, was a Slam semifinalist and Olympic medalist, was on the upswing, then suffering a horrific ankle injury.  She's been working her way back over the past year but I don't think anyone was prepared for her to make such a statement here at Wimbledon.  But she's been playing vintage Bepa tennis: moving well, serving solidly, hitting relentlessly, and changing the direction of the ball with ease and conviction.  When Bepa plays well I get giddy.  I love watching her game.

Another thing I love watching?  This piece of hot in her box (heh):

Um.  That's Sergey.  He's her new coach.  He used to be an Abercrombie model. 

He is slightly more attractive than Sam Sumyk. 

Slightly.

BOW. DOWN. TO BEPA.

The Sun Also Rises.

And so it goes.  Serena weathered the storm and finished up Petra to keep her defending campaign going and save NBC from swearing off tennis forever.  So...thanks?

Nice run, Petra.  I've never been a fan but I've always been scared whenever you play one of my faves.  The flat groundies and big serve concern me in a Kleybs/Kaia kind of way.  I wish I could get on your train but I simply cannot abide that chihuahua-yelp.  I mean, really, what the fuck is that?

Pic This: I'm Not Convinced Any Tennis Was Actually Played.

AKorn and Hingy played a dubs match.  Or so they say.  I'm not convinced.

 

There was strestching.

There was tongue.

 

There was girl-on-girl.

 

There were manis.

There were embarrassingly large diamond rings.

 

And there was whatever that is.

But I'm not convinced there was actual tennis. 

Tyra Would Be Proud.

A few months ago, a certain friend of mine asked me what the big deal was with Tomas.  The question was basically, "Why is he relevant?"  Why do hardcore tennis fans talk about him like he's a threat when he hasn't won anything?  Why do people shake their heads ruefully whenever his name comes up?

AND WHY DOES HE INSIST ON BEATING FERNANDO VERDASCO ALL THE TIME???

Now there's a match that I can point at to definitively answer that question.  Forget the fact that he beat Fed at the Olympics in 2004.  Or that he beat Fed in Miami.  Or that he beat Muzz a few weeks ago on clay to make his first Slam semifinal.  Nope.  The story starts here.  Tomas beat Fed playing withing himself and, most importantly, by not shirking from the moment.  How many Tomas fans, who have tortured themselves by following him for years, watched from behind closed hands just waiting for him to find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? 

And you can't blame us!  HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE FOUND AN IMPOSSIBLY INFURIATING WAY TO LOSE???  SO MANY TIMES!!!

But not yesterday.  Yesterday he played the match that we all knew he could play.  He hit big, served well, stayed calm, and crossed the finish line, sending the six-time champ, defending champion, and GPOAT into a state of total confuzzlement with a touch of verbal diarrhea. 

Fed fails to make the semis of a Slam for the second time in a month, he'll drop to #3, and he's still captured only one tournament this year (granted, it was the AO).  And, perhaps a bit more worrisome, he's once again been smacked off the court by a big hitter at a Slam (DelPo, Sods, Berdy).

 

When you're smizing, the whole world smize with you, Tomas. 

Air Quotes: Buckle Up, New York.

I'm not going to lie.  I squee'd in delight when I read this:

Q. How much are you worried about your knee? Is there a risk you should skip the Davis Cup tie after Wimbledon?

RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah. Well, sure, I am a little bit scared about the knee. But, you know, it happen. I had a treatment after Monte‑Carlo. So I had the problem. I didn't say nothing before, but you know, guys, how is everything. I had the problem against Roddick in the semifinals of Miami.

I don't like to say nothing in that moment because when you lose, always looks like an excuse. But I can say now I had the problem after I played in Monte‑Carlo with a little bit of pain on the knee, on the left knee, because that's what happened there.

After Monte‑Carlo, I didn't play Barcelona because I had to do a treatment, new treatment. You know, I tried to play the clay season perfect because in that moment the right knee was better than the left. But at the same time I know the knees are not hundred percent recovered. But playing on clay and maybe on grass, if is not very long matches, can work well.

But the last treatments I did between Monte‑Carlo and Rome was perfect. I didn't have no one more problem on the left knee. But just I did one time, and I need to do three times.

I didn't have time to do it at the right knee before because I had to play. The clay season was my main goal of the season. After here I gonna do it another time, no? My goals for me is a big disappointment not be in the Davis Cup on France, you know. Some confrontations, if you play at home against some country, maybe you cannot play this one. But playing in France for me is a very special confrontation and a very big motivation for me.

But I talked with the captain, I talked with the president of the Federation a few days ago, and I said, Guys, I never arrive to the US Open with my hundred percent of conditions. I had last year broken abdominal, two years ago playing crazy here. After Olympics, I did arrive very tired. And I really want to try to go there with my best chances, no, to play, to play my hundred percent.

So I need to do this treatment after here. If I play Davis Cup, I don't have enough time to recover and play tournaments, Cincinnati. Everything was perfect for me last few months, and I need to be ready to finish the season well. My goal is try to keep having the chance to be No. 1 for the rest of the season. That's gonna be difficult. But if you are not in hundred percent of condition, is going to be impossible.

So a Falcon, a Bull, a Berd, a Moose, and a Passive Aggressive Douchenugget Walk Into a Pub.

I am so excited.  This is so GO TENNIS!  I can't even deal.  It has been a long ass time since I didn't have any major rooting interest in a Slam semifinal.  That's not saying I don't have my dream scenario.  More on that in a bit.

"Make me a pleasure."

Jo knows what's up.

Make It A Rivalry.

I think we can all agree that Serena's playing out of her mind so far.  Her serving has been off the hook.  So all credit to Masha for bringing it on Monday, when they had to, unfortunately, class in the round of 16.  It was a 16R match that seemed unfair from the draw gods, but thankfully they played a match that would have been worth of a final. 

From Masha's perspective, my takeaway was this: You're not there yet.  But you're not that far off, either.  Had Masha been on the opposite side of the draw, her current form could have seen her in the final.  She served well, was smacking the cover off the ball, and, in a great sight, looked to get to the net.  During the tournament she said that playing with the intent of getting to the net helped her hit the ball with more conviction and added an overall aggressive mindset to her game.  I thought that was really evident in her play here.

So credit to both Maria and Serena for giving us a great match.  Because for all the drama that we've seen on the WTA side of the draw, I can't say that we've seen that high of quality tennis. 

Loved this from Masha before her match with Serena:

Q. Could you talk about a big rivalry match like this and how it compares to a standard or regular match? When you know you're going up against a big rival, do you like it? Do you find yourself more engaged? Does it change your preparation in any way?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Yeah, you know, I'd call it a rivalry when I win a few more against her (laughter). I mean, I've lost the last few.

Do your part, Mash.  Make it happen.  Tennis needs it.

All Hail King Pyrrhus. The Bastard.

If you know me, listen to the FD Podcast, or read between the lines, there is only one thing I wanted from this fortnight: for Justine to lose.  I was ok with Fed winning, or Serena winning, or hell, Sod winning.  But I cannot abide Justine hosting that trophy.  It's not mature, nor does it have any basis in anything.  I just REALLY don't want Justine to win Wimbledon.  I don't want to hear her philosophically beautiful waxings about how much this tournament meant to her, or how she played with the right emotions, or, well, anything.  I just don't want it to happen.  Hell, I was willing to let her win RG if that meant she couldn't win Wimbledon.  This sentiment runs really deep and I'm not proud of it.

So thanks, Kim. 

See you on the hardcourts.

And ditto to you. 

It was painful watching Halpert go down to De Bakker.  Not surprising or disappointing.  I think we all knew he'd have nothing left in the tank.  It just...hurt.

But thanks for the memories.  Enjoy your newfound fame. 

Just...you know...avoid the clap, dude.

#82 Is The New #1.

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Look, Rendy's not a nobody, despite all the "Rendy WHO???" commentary that came with this match.  But oh, Andy.  The bottom line is that he couldn't find his A game on Monday and Rendy played an inspired match.  To beat Andy Roddick on grass, 9-7 in the fifth?  What an effort!

 

A-Rod was understandably gutted after the match.  As the years tick by and Andy is convinced that Wimbledon is his only real shot at another Slam, these losses have to weigh heavily on his psyche.  The window is closing.  Everyone knows it.  And this one's gotta hurt even more knowing what we know now about how the draw worked itself out.

But back to Rendy.  First Asian man into the quarterfinals of a Slam in 15 years.  What an amazing run.  With the focus on the ATP and WTA on the Asian markets and the recent success of the Nails and Jay Z, this bodes well for Asian tennis.  I can't wait for the day, hopefully in my lifetime, to see an Asian man or woman raise a Grand Slam trophy.  Get on it, Asia! 

Also, you might want to start camping out at chicken farms for talent.

 

And we have Tsvetana Pironkova, another non-nobody, who goes into the semifinals without having dropped a set and ousting the Queen of Grass, Venus, in straights.  Let's not forget that she also took out Mono.  Similar to A-Rod, Venus clearly didn't have her A game.  But again, to beat Venus on grass 2 and 3, and hold your nerve to close out the match and not succumb to the "Williams Aura" is a feat in and of itself.  

I saw her do an interview on Wimbledon Tonight and she's an absolute sweetheart.  Good head, good perspective, and she doesn't seem overwhelmed by the moment.  If anything, she looked like a kid who believes. 

Watch out, Bepa.

Huh.

Sorry for the non-blogging.  My kid sister was home from Japan and, well, I'd rather laugh my ass off as my sister dances alone to Pony than talk tennis. 

I honestly didn't think it'd be that big of a deal.  It's Wimbledon.  It's predictable, right?

Whoops.  Looks like I'm gonna have to limber up.

Deeeeeeeeaaaaaam, Gurl, U Funny.

In case you missed it, Sveta was tweeting during Day 2 of Isnutpalooza.  And it. was. awesome.

Don't forget to tip your waitresses!

Adopt/Marry Me!

Mama Halpert was interviewed by ESPN before his match yesterday and then they both get interviewed by ESPN after the match.  I want Mama Isner to adopt me, except for that whole wanting to get into her son's pants thing. 

All I'm saying is, I'm down to start negotiations.

I Can't Wait For You To Retire.

I like you so much better from behind the desk.  Also?  This ain't your first rodeo, Roger.  You should better than to ask Nole for advice on *anything*. 

Required Reading

• Huh?  People thought Sam and Nads didn't get along?
• 12 records went down yesterday.  Not only did they go down, they're untouchable.
• The buzz around the grounds and in the locker rooms re Isnut.
• Serena and Stifler: A match made in heaven.
• You'd think with all the news coming out of the AELTC the past four days, the British journos would just focus on the tennis.  Nope.  But at least it was an entertaining read.
• Nice interview with Martina.  The woman is kick-ass personified.
• Credit to Judy.  Instead of just pissing on British tennis she offers some suggestions.
• Blah looks like he's on the way out.
• 10 Questions with Killer Cahill.
• Momo's loving retirement.
• Stubbsy's blogging from Wimbledon.  And she's got a bone to pick with the organizers.
• What if you had to live blog the Day 2 of Isnutpalooza?  What if you had never live blogged a tennis match before?  You'd undoubtedly do a way shittier job than this guy.  Hats off!
• An ode to tennis.
• Steve Tignor's thoughts on the LMOAT.

Pic This: Day 4

Another ridiculous day at Wimbledon.  God bless and help us all.

"I loved you in Teaching Mrs. Tingle!!!"

Andy: "Well I was able to dominate him with my serve.  Didn't think he played particularly well today.  Couldn't hurt me with his serve and his forehand was rubbish."

Jarkko: "Dude.  I'm right. here."

brb.

zomg! r u ok?

"But why is the other one wearing ski boots?"

Souvenir shopping, with Mohamed Lahyani.

 

"Alright, gentlemen.  Whip 'em out.  I brought a tape measure today."

Lovely.

"Psst!  Judy!  You brought the Bacardi, right?"

You confuse me.  So much.

Your loss, Queenie.

 

Ruh roh.  Halpert started a fashion trend.

"The old hag never comes to any of my matches and she shows up to that miserable git's second rounder?  Fuck 'em all."

Air Quotes: :) :( ;)

Q. Your bow had a lot of rhythm to it, tremendous depth. Some critics thought it might be a tad overproduced. Can you analyze it?

SERENA WILLIAMS: My bow didn't go the way I wanted. I didn't get my wrist action that I thought I would have, and then I got nervous. So my knee kind of got tight, and I felt a lot of pain in my left knee, so I couldn't get as low as I wanted to.

Q. So you're blaming your injuries?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I'm going to blame my injury.

...

Q. Yesterday Venus told me your curtsy was unreal. She also said you'd beat her in a curtsy‑off. Do you think there was too much hype for your curtsy?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Yeah, it was definitely too much hype. I feel like I had the number one curtsy and then I just got nervous. Next time I'll have to take more Advil.

I definitely handle pressure way better on the court than off. No comparison.

...

Q. How did you find playing on Court 2?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I have mixed feelings about that. You know, I don't think I should be out there. But in a way, I feel like, you know, with my popularity, it's cool to see ‑‑ when I was leaving, I stayed for a while, and I signed tons of autographs. A lot of these people can't get into the Centre Court and stuff.

Other than that, that definitely made up for it, to see fans I wouldn't normally see.

...

Q. You talked in Paris about the strings you're using, giving you more spin. Do you feel the same kind of effect here on the grass with the ball?

RAFAEL NADAL: Well, always the same, no? The string can help you, but you are the person, you are the player, not the string. You play; the string doesn't play. That's my feeling.

Sure, the string can help you for moments, for maybe the string is better than the other one because give me the chance to feel the ball more time inside the racquet. That's give me a little bit more control. But that's my feeling, that you are the person. You lose, you win, not the string. 

...

Q. How did you feel when you woke up this morning physically? What did you do to prepare for this afternoon's match? Did you weigh yourself today and whether you lost any weight?

JOHN ISNER: I actually haven't weighed. I told myself I wanted to do that. When I go back to the locker room, I will.

But I'm one of the heaviest guys actually, I am the heaviest guy on the tour. I have a little bit of excess in the stomach area (smiling). I knew that was going to come in handy one day. It was kind of the reserve tank.

It's not that I eat unhealthy. I work hard. I just can't get rid of it.

Q. Is it still there?

JOHN ISNER: Yeah. It went down a little bit, I think (smiling).

...

Q. After shedding so much weight in the last 24 hours, do you think you would make a good face of Weight Watchers in America?

JOHN ISNER: I guess. It's not like I'm a heifer or anything (laughter). Maybe.

...

Pic This: Big Baller.

"Some marathons are run, others are fought."

Class.