Forty Deuce

See, I Didn't Even Know This Was Happening

Keeping track of all the pre-AO exhibitions is impossible.  But apparently Maria beat Venus 6-3, 6-4 at an exhibition in Thailand.

Maria hit 10 DFs, which to me is the most only important stat to come out of this match.  Otherwise, the only thing of note is that I'm a little concerned about Maria's dress.  It's basically nice, but is that... illusion fabric on top of the bodice?  Why would you do that, Nike?  Just because it's a Winter Olympic year doesn't mean you have to make ice dance-like questionable design choices.  I just hope it fits well, because there's definitely a deduction for nip slips.

Stayin' Alive

With her tight three set win over Sveta, Venus still has a chance to qualify for the semis, depending on what happens in the Elena/Sveta match.  If Elena wins then she'll move on.  If Sveta wins, Venus moves on. 

Scripted.

But not in the way you'd think.

Those conspiracy theorists out there would probably assume that after Venus won the first set that Serena would kind of roll over and let her sister win.  I mean, a win by Serena would pretty much ensure her spot in the semis but eliminate Venus from the tourney. 

But as I said yesterday, how many times have we seen Venus take the first set only to lose?  Well it happened for the second straight day, as she would drop the second and third sets.  For the most part neither sister was able to play well at the same time, save for the very end of the third set, when all of a sudden things got really good.  And I was reminded in this match that when Venus is playing well she's really fun to watch on hard courts.  So graceful.

But anyway, Serena pretty much secures her spot out of the Maroon group and she gets the #1 ranking. 

So drink it up (Lachaim!).

Marat Is About As Good At Retiring As I Am At Quitting My Job.

Team Russia is looking mighty awesome right about now.

Team Russia: Marat Safin, Maria Sharapova, Vera Zvonareva
Team Asia: Paradorn Srichaphan, Zheng Jie, Ayumi Morita
Team America: Michael Chang, Venus Williams, Gisela Dulko
Team Europe: Stefan Edberg, Caroline Wozniacki, Victoria Azarenka

Please let there be Marat/Masha and Stefan/Vika mixed dubs.  The former for the awesomeness, the latter for the complete and utter mindfuck.

So do you think the HK organizers changed the format to include the old fogies so that they could convince Marat to play?  For a guy who keeps complaining about how much tennis sucks he sure does keep playing.  I'm guessing it's because the weather in HK in January is 92% better than the weather in Mother Russia.  Either that or the touching/cheezy Asian tributes really touched a nerve.

In other news... STEFAN!!!

Fading Fast

36 76(6) 62

That. Just. Happened.

But Lena's win, coming back from a set down, wasn't as big a shock as Elena and the TTC commentators make it out to be.  How many times this year have we seen Venus dominate an opening set, only to lose the next two?  She did it against CSN at AO, Dina in Rome, K-Bond in Toronto, and Pavs in Beijing.  

So Lena notches a big win for her in the tough Maroon group.  She'll play Kuz next.  Venus on the other hand will have to take out Serena, who just beat Sveta, to give her any shot of moving into the semis and defending her Championship points.

Where The Wild Things Are

So here we are.  I can't tell if I'm excited for Doha or excited for the season to be over.

That's a lie.  It's the latter.

But it does give us one last chance to get some giggles in as the ladies glam up and strut.

"We're running with the shadows of the night
So baby take my hand, it'll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

You know, or not.

"If you can see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along
why can't you seeeeeee, you belong with meeeeeee."

Pretty dress.  But I like my JJ flatironed, thank you very much.

Damn, girl.  I can't even snark on this.

"Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama."

 
"Can you hear me now?  Bet on the *other* girl."

Ok, first, you look great.  Really. 

Second, I will punch you in the face. 

Third, wear a push up bra if you want to get some heft in your chest, not a crooked bow. 

First look at the mirror today, ReRe? 

Looks like the girls did a number on you in your sleep during WTA Sleepover 09. 

Word of advice?  Never go to sleep before Sveta.  Never.

Little Miss Sunshine

Back to Back wins by Pavs over Venus, coming back from a set down to win 36 61 64.  She's just the best.  Is there anyone who can resist the charms of this kid?

Thanks to Maz and Sodapop for reminding me of this:

Pic This: "Get Zorin For Me"

Pic This: "So Do You Guys Want To Carpool?"

 

Apparently Sony Ericsson phones are bad luck.

 

Like really bad luck.

But that doesn't stop Bepa from rocking the shit out of hers:

"Hey, Vera, whatcha doin?"

"Nothing. Just arranging some aid to Manila.  No big deal."

UPDATED: Overqualified.

I was in D.C. all weekend without any internet access.  And let's just say I'm not entirely sad about that.  Glad to see I missed the carnage:

(Q) Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) d. (1/WC) Dinara Safina (RUS) 76(5) 46 75


(Q) Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 75 46 63

(Q) Katareyna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 62 67 61

(Q) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. (2) Venus Williams (USA) 76(6) 75

Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. (6) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 36 64 62

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (9) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62

Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (10) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) 64 76(1)

Also, Rybarakova just beat Nads and Maria's on her way to bagel and 'sticking Sam.  And we know how Sam feels about 'sticking.  Not a fan, methinks.

So it's absolute Bedlam in Tokyo as the top seeds are falling left and right in the first two rounds (as of this post, JJ, A-Rad, and Caro still have to play their 2R matches).

[UPDATE: Caro retires down 05 to CanWoz. So the top 6 seeds are out after their first matches.]

I don't have much to say quite yet.  I need some time to process it all.  But I have a feeling Billy Shakes was a WTA fan back in the day:

She should have died hereafter ;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time ;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Pic This: Tall Chicks and Asians

Well that pretty much sums things up, don't it?

Things I love about this picture.  I love Ai's dress.  A lot.  I love that Dina is over 6'2'' and yet she's wearing platform heels.  In a picture.  In Asia.  I love that Vee didn't even bother moisturizing her legs.  I love that Ayumi Morita has a job interview lined up.

Air Quotes: She's Only Pimping Because We Ask, You Guys.

Choice quotage from Monday, all available at the USO site.  Here's hoping they start posting a more diverse set of players.  Sheesh.

Q. You were having some problems with your serve. Commentators started talking about serving in women's tennis. One of them said the person who serves best will win the tournament. Do you agree with that?

VENUS WILLIAMS: I don't know. I don't care what commentators say. So it's just all, you know, like they aren't on the court winning championships. I don't really... Yeah.

...
Q. You showed a lot of support for Gasquet when he was suspended. He says he appreciates that very much from you. Can you talk about the reason, what went through your mind? You showed so much support for him.

RAFAEL NADAL: The true is I support him a lot. First thing, because I believe in him. Second thing, because I think he's a very nice guy. I know him since 13 years old or 12 years old. I talk with him what happen. He told me he didn't take nothing. So I believe him 100%, and I think you know, it is open. I don't want to speak a lot about that and a lot of history is out about when I speak about that, but it's not 100% perfect sometime. If someone wants to kill you, somebody can kill you, you know? And you didn't do nothing. That's the true, no? That's my feeling what happened with Richard, and of course they say that, no? He won. In the beginning, it was three years, and then it was three years because he didn't take nothing. So I'm very happy for that, and I am sure a lot of players are very happy for Richard.
...

Q. Anything special about the jewelry you're wearing for this tournament?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, I'm wearing my whole collection from the Serena Williams, Signature Statement, which is available on HSN, which I'm really (laughter.) I'm sorry, but he asked, so...
I'm really excited about it because I love jewelry, and I think people really know me for jewelry. It will be available starting September 19.

Q. If you were writing the story about the 2009 US Open women's draw, what would be your lead?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Oh, what would be my lead? Are you trying to get this for your story? (laughter.)
Just making sure. Well, Serena's back where she belongs. 

...

THE MODERATOR: Roger today became the first player to win $50 million in prize money, just to let you know.
ROGER FEDERER: No need to write about that. (Laughter.)

...

Q. How did you injure your ear?
ANDY RODDICK: I have no idea. I have absolutely no idea.

Q. Come on, tell the truth.
ANDY RODDICK: No, I have no idea. I didn't go out there with it like that, I don't think. And then, I don't know, I saw like blood on my towel. I was looking around like this. No idea.

Q. Possible shaving accident?
ANDY RODDICK: No. My ears aren't actually that hairy.

"Pass The Dushie On The Left Hand Side..."

Night session tennis at the USO.  There's nothing like it.  And by that I mean, I generally never watch it.  It always showcases players I don't generally care for, the crowd kind of bugs, and I don't know, I just don't dig it.  But one thing is certain: There's almost always drama.

 

And drama there was as Venus found herself hobbled and two points from getting bounced by Vera Dushevina. 

 

Three games into the match Venus called the trainer to address what looked like a patella tendon issue in her left knee.  After a 10 minute delay play resumed.  To be clear, it didn't *really* look like the knee was hindering her that much.  After some top notch investigative reporting from Pimmy, we've learned that she's been hobbled by the bum knee for as much as 6 weeks.  Take note of that inside information, bookies.

 

As for Vera D, she didn't play great but she somehow found herself a set up after a pretty phenomenal backhand flick pass to seal the tiebreak.  After some back and forth in the second, she was serving at deuce, two points from her biggest win ever.  But Venus stepped up and would reel off the next 5 games and eventually close it out, winning 67(5) 75 63.  All credit to the NY crowd for giving Vera a nice cheer as she left the court.

It was a gutsy performance from Venus.  But this should pretty much put a death knell in all this "The Williams Sisters are the favorites" talk.  Serena is the favorite.  Venus will be lucky to get past the quarters.  Of course now that I've said that she'll probably make it to the semis by just hitting out and serving big.

 

As for the boys, who didn't take the court until around 11pm, there was blood, tumbles, and Phau.  Andy's ear started bleeding at some point (probably from the Rob Thomas performance earlier in the night) and Andy got pissed about having to have it treated.  Apparently the ball kids can't handle any towels that have blood on them.  You'd think Andy would understand that but he seemed really peeved.

Anyway, A-Rod is well on his way to taking the match in straight sets.  He's up 61 64 31.

My Name Is Serena. I Like To Dance.

I love, LOVE, how awkward Venus looks.

Whatever, though. They still don't have the fire that Nathaniel has:

Anyone For Tennis?

Cuz clearly the pros are vacation in NYC. 

A-Rod's off doing some cross training at Yankee stadium.

Venus is busy stimulating the economy...

...and going on cruises.

Masha's off celebrating the other Serena's 22nd birthday...

...and 's dorking it up while schilling her wares. 

(The jury's out on the "comfortability" of the Cole Haan gear.)

Serena's going all retro and getting oiled up...wait a sec...

Well, of course.  I mean, duh.

And then everyone and their mother showed up to the BNP Paribas Taste of Tennis event as if it were a free buffet.  Even the Daveed's sensitive soul couldnt say no to that.  But trust me, he was way emo about it.  Well, or whatever the Spanish equivalent to emo is.

Thankfully Marin actually did show up and dear God I hope he did treat it like a buffet.

Andy broke out his evening hat and manned the bar.  You know, like a good Austin boy would.

Shit, even Bepa showed up.  BEPA!!!  That's how crazy this is!  And dudes!  She even went to the K Swiss event!  Dammit, now I want to just do Patron shots with her.  And that's saying something.  Because I feel about Patron the way Bepa feels about her racquets.

Does *anyone* want to play tennis? 

Let's face it, when Bepa is the only Russian at your cocktail party, something's gone horribly awry.  Unless it's like...a U.N. peacekeeping envoy cocktail party, in which case, you better get ready for a shot of peace with a harmony chaser.

But seriously, where are the Serbs in all this?  You're telling me a party was thrown and Ana wasn't the guest of honor, Nole wasn't invited, and JJ didn't crash it?  What is this world?  And where the fuck are Marat and Dina?  My head hurts.

Please, Clarissa.  Explain it all.

Oh, and Blah put on a suit and signed some books somewhere.

Air Quotes: Camping: It's In Tents!

"Oh, they're better now. All the players. Much better. Back in the day, Steffi was the only one actually playing tennis, and nobody else seemed to want to pick her game up to try to get to that level -  at least not until  Monica (Seles) came along. But then Serena and I came on pretty hard and running fast, and it was like everybody seemed to say, 'No, no no. . . you're not going to run all over us, we're going to do our best to do the same things you're doing'. So the overall level has gone up. These women today are better athletes. They're better trained, there's better knowledge out there in every area, and they're using it. Even down to things like physiclal therapy and fitness. I think if anything, it's gotten more intense."

-- Venus, on how today's players compare to the past.  Nice quotes from Venus in the article, though I had to chuckle at "Losing is my first - and last - wall."  Uh, Venus, that's sounds nice, but I don't think you understand what you're saying there.

Andy Comes In Second Place AGAIN.

The Anti-Defamation League honored Venus for her "principled stand after an Israeli player was excluded from participating in a Dubai tennis tournament earlier this year."

That's nice and all, and yes, Venus was cool to mention Shahar in her speech.  The speech that she gave AFTER SHE PLAYED IN THE TOURNAMENT AND WON.

"I feel like I did the minimum, just to speak and to say something," Ms. Williams said.  "It shows that whatever little things you can do to make a difference really will help.  I want to thank Shahar for her courage, and I share this award with her."

Ms. Williams said that every player deserves an opportunity to compete, and that while she was disappointed in Dubai's decision to exclude Pe'er, she doesn't think it will happen again.

"If it does, I wouldn't be happy with any player playing the event.  We don't want to be a part of something that's not equal."

Yup, she did do the minimum.  And why it was ok to play the tournament this year, but not if they ever do the exact same thing again, is a pure logic fail.  In case the ADL didn't know, Andy Roddick actually refused to play the tournament completely, specifically citing his opposition to Dubai's shit visa policy.  Oh, and unlike Shahar, Andy Ram was subsequently granted a visa to play.

There are so many factors that go into why that happened and cause and effect can't be directly proven.  But it just seems a bit odd to recognize Venus and not Andy.  He deserves a tip of the gross and disgustingly sweaty cap, too.

Party In The USA

Well look at that.  Tennis being played right in front of my firm's NYC office.  How nice.

 

Lots of folks were on hand for the DirectTV ESPN promotional event, which saw a bunch of players showing off their USO kits.  Basically its a whole lotta color.  And James Blake.  Ironically.

Oh, old people.  You're adorable.

"I'm out of Wrists Assists!"

What, no pink socks to finish off the racquet/kit coordinating ensemble? 

YOU'RE HORRIBLE.

Class.

zzzzzzzz....

Bond. K Bond.

There are actually promo shots of K-Bond in their files?  Did the WTA know something we didn't? 

If you're going to hit 60 UFEs over the course of a three set match (of which you won the first set 6-1), your opponent is probably going to come out on top, even if her name is Kataryna Bondarenko.  And that's what happened, as Venus got Bondo'd out of the tournament, 16 75 64.  The loss to a spectacularly in-form Mono in the Stanford final wasn't much of a concern.  Last week's loss to an en fuego Flavs wasn't too bad, though Venus was spraying the ball everywhere.  But this loss?  To K-Bond?  Just two weeks before the USO?  Not encouraging for Venus fans.

That quarter of the draw (which is on Dina's half, btw) is now completely wide open, with Masha, Bepa, and Aga as the likely beneficiaries.

All Headcase Hour

 

The top ladies looked lovely (well, most of them) for their SEWTA Tour All Access Hour appearances.  I haven't heard any reports of anyone leaving in tears so it sounds like a success.


Girl, you might want to get those nails checked out. I think you might be going into kidney failure.


The face of peace.  Well, not in her head, but you know, in the world.  Generally.


"How many times I have to say?  I didn't make the rankings."


"Will you please excuse me?  I have to go change.  Be right back."


This pic looks straight out of the 80's. 


Good Lord, JJ.  For all the money you've spent on "deviated septums" and whatnot, shell out a few bucks for those eye bags, woman.


I love Venus.  Always the face of calm.  And after being subjected to Serena on Twitter for two months now, I can see why Venus had to develop her Zen skills ASAP.


"I didn't make it.  I just go and I play and the ranking is what it is.  Why you all not listening?  Vera!  Vera!  Talk to them.  I go to room now to play with coconut."

Andiamo!

Congrats to Flavia, for playing steady tennis and beating Venus in straight sets, 76 64.  Her reward?  On Monday she'll become the first Italian woman to ever crack the top 10.  She does this at the ripe old age of 27, no less.  Much deserved!

As for Venus, she didn't bring her A game.  But she was still playing well enough to win against most players. 


But see, when you are made of awesome, you will not be denied.

Pic This: Sister Sister

Congrats to the Stanford dubs champs.


Nice to see Serena could take a break from her very insightful tweeting.

My kid sister is leaving this week to live in Japan for a few years.  Pardon me while I get a little nostalgic looking at this pic. 

I'm gonna miss you and all the crazy laughs you bring, kiddo.

Venus Gets Mono'd

Well Stanford was the Williamses in a nutshell.  If it ain't a Slam, Serena can and will lose early and Venus, while more consistent than Serena, can go wonky at any time and lose to consistent hitters. 

Hell of a performance by Mono, who wavered a bit but sacked up and courageously stepped up her game late in the third for the win.  This is only her first WTA Premier title.  I really didn't think she had it in her.  I figured, as most of us probably did, that she'd crumble under the pressure.  So all credit to Mono for finding the will to fight on, especially after missing her chances serving for the match.  I guess the bathroom break after the second set helped.  Amazing what five minutes in heaven with your laminated picture of Pierce Brosnan can do.

I hope she doesn't get eaten by that bear!!!

Copperhead Strikes

Venus ditched that ugly tie-dye number and rocked a Kill Bill yellow and black number on her way to a solid thrashing of The Pova, 62 62.  The match was actually more competitive than the scoreline would indicate, as Maria had her chances early on Venus' serve. 

But Masha looked rusty with her footwork and gameplan, her serve was pathetic, and her forehand completely failed her.  But she fought, as she always does, and still made Venus work for the win.  The footwork, gameplan, and forehand will come with more matchplay.  But the bigger concern is that serve.  If she can't hold her serve against strong returners (i.e., the top 5) she's got no chance of regaining the Grand Slam winning form that we've become used to.  And that'd be a damn shame.

So Venus moves on and will play Lena D. in the semis tomorrow.

Cars, Real Estate, and Jewels

I don't know why but all I can imagine Venus driving now is an El Camino. Also, I think it's a travesty that Agi isn't in these videos. I would love to hear her scoff at the idea of extravagance.

She's Got Legs...

Venus on Conan. One of the rare times Conan doesn't look like a ridiculously tall dude creepily towering over a young lady.

Did Serena Shave Her Head?

Just kidding.  Zing!

Vee was in Canada hanging with other elite athletes, like Dwight Howard, to promote the new Wii EA games.

I bet you she dominated at soccer.  You know, cuz it's on grass.

Is it pathetic that I take great joy in knowing that I look more graceful playing basketball than she does?

“This is a lot tougher than it looks.  It’s not much fun losing to yourself.”

3 for 4

And so it goes.

Congrats to Serena.  She beat her big sister in straight sets, 76 62, breaking Venus' 34 set win streak at Wimbledon.  ReRe now has 11 majors.  Haven't seen the match yet so can't really comment, but this is quite the accomplishment for Serena.  She now holds 3 of the last 4 majors.

And Serena was keen making sure you know that:

Q. How much of a motivation is it for you to try and regain the world No. 1 ranking?

SERENA WILLIAMS: You know, I'm not super motivated. I think if you hold three Grand Slam titles maybe you should be No. 1, but not on the WTA Tour obviously, so...

You know, my motivation is maybe just to win another Grand Slam and stay No. 2, I guess (laughter).

Q. Does that disappoint you?

SERENA WILLIAMS: No. If it did, I would go crazy just thinking about it. I think anyone really could. That's just shocking. But whatever. It is what it is. I'd rather definitely be No. 2 and hold three Grand Slams in the past year than be No. 1 and not have any.

Q. Do you see yourself as No. 1?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I see myself as No. 2. That's where I am. I think Dinara did a great job to get to No. 1. She won Rome and Madrid (laughter).

...

Q. We all know the slams are the key events in our sport. Do you think someone somewhere should sit down and maybe tweak the ranking system a little bit so we don't have this problem?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Uhm, I mean, maybe if I'd have done better at the French Open, like got to the semifinals, maybe things would have been different. But, uhm, honestly, I'm not picking on anybody. Everyone works hard.

I think the girl, Dinara, who is No. 1, you can clearly see by her physique how hard she works. You can't get anywhere by not doing the best and not working your hardest.

So, you know, I'm happy for her. I'm really excited that I won Wimbledon, though, because, like I said, I'd rather win that than not win the Championships.

Q. With all due respect, we're just talking about the system on paper the way the computer works. Do you think that should be changed?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I don't know. I don't know what can be changed. I feel like I've had a pretty consistent year, though, you know. I haven't lost too early. I got a little injured, but I fought through it. So it's been pretty consistent reaching at least the further rounds of different events.

But I don't know what to do to be No. 1. I don't even care anymore. I'm just happy to be here.

Yes, it's weird for a player to win 3 of the 4 majors and still be #2.  That said, let's see, Dina lost to Serena at USO, Serena at AO, Kuz, the eventual champ, FO, and Venus at Wimbly.  Not the most horrible record at Slams.  Serena lost to, well, a lot of people you may or may not even name at various non-Slams (Patty Schnyder? Klara Zakapalova?  Lena?  Vika?).  I'm not saying it's the same and yeah, Serena should probably be considered the best player in the world.  But come on, just admit that you suck during the other event that, whether you like it or not, allow for the WTA to exist. 

So I'm not capping on Serena for being annoyed.  She should be.  But she should be annoyed at herself or the system.  She shouldn't be ripping on the other players.  You're the best player in the world, Serena.  Now maybe it's time to grow up and treat that label, and all the burdens it entails (oh, like being a good ambassador for the sport) accordingly.  You can only play the "bratty little sister" card for so long.

As for Venus, I'm bummed for you.  I don't know what happened there but I do wish you would have won.  But you'll always be the #1 Williams in my heart, which isn't saying much, but it's saying something, I suppose.  From one big sister to another, mucho props.  You stay classy, baby.  The pride and dignity with which you carry yourself just breaks my heart sometimes.  And if that class, pride, and compassion means you don't win as many Slam, so be it.  You're still the better Williams to me.

Air Quotes: Zing!

Q. Do you have anything you would like to ask one another as you've thought about the press conferences each of you has held during this fortnight on different days and seen each one play? What question do you have for one another at this point?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Are you ready to get out of here (laughter)?

VENUS WILLIAMS: Ditto (smiling).

"Never you mind. A guy got to sometimes."

Sometimes, you just gotta put Lennie out of his misery.  And if you're a good friend, you do it quickly and mercifully. 

Venus is a good friend.  Maybe she'll buy Dina a puppy after the 1 and 0 drubbing.  Or maybe she'll just tell the media to back the fuck off of Dina.  I think I prefer the latter:

Q. This isn't your fault obviously because you played really well, but it's embarrassing for women's tennis to see the No. 1 destroyed in that way, isn't it?

VENUS WILLIAMS: Why do you put it like that?

Q. You played very well.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Are you trying to be down on women's tennis?

Q. I'm trying to be down on the way that Safina is the world No. 1 representing women's tennis.

VENUS WILLIAMS: So you're trying to be down basically.

Q. Not on women's tennis, no.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Okay, because I don't deal with down at all.

Q. It's not down.

VENUS WILLIAMS: I'm just making sure you're not trying to be down, because I respect Dinara Safina immensely, and I think you should, too.

Q. I do.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Thanks.

So Dina gets drubbed by Serena on Serena's best surface.  She also gets drubbed by Venus on Venus' best surface.  Hmmm...who did Dina beat on her best surface this year?  Oh yeah, Venus, not to mention Serena last year in Berlin.  But yeah, let's just completely forget about that because the vaunted Williamses suck on clay. 

I'm just saying.  All this near-sighted SHE'S A HORRIBLE TENNIS PLAYER bullshit is getting so damn old. 

They Are Very Very Good. Simple As That.

Interesting stuff from Navs re Venus, Serena, and bunch of fat ugly chicks.

Fortunately, by that time, Martina Navratilova had weighed in with a more seasoned view. When we sat down in the lobby of the locker room after her match in what they call the Ladies Invitation Doubles (a euphemism for seniors), she agreed that women’s tennis lacked clarity and conviction at the top, and mainly because of Venus and Serena’s chronic absences apart from non-Grand Slam events.

“They play in the playoffs but not in the regular season,” said Navratilova, always quick with a cross-reference. “But I don’t want to say their success is because the other women aren’t that good. I would prefer to look at it more as what it says about them, how great they are.”

At that moment, Serena walked by, smiling. “I was just talking about you,” Navratilova said. With Serena gone, she added, “I just wish you would play more.”

The amazing Williams story is often viewed through the prism of race, and at times, they have been held to more demanding behavioral standards than their peers. In this case, defining them competitively based on the quality of their competition, Navratilova raised a different stereotype.

“That old women’s double standard, which I hate,” she said.

She remembered resentment here five years ago, some grumbling over her wild-card entry into the singles draw. She won her first-round match, 6-0, 6-1, against Catalina Castaño of Colombia.

“People said, big deal, look at the opponent,” she said. “But when Mario Lemieux comes back to hockey and scores a goal, it’s, Oh, he’s great.”

Her point was that she was 47 at the time of her last Wimbledon singles victory. How great was that?

To expand her argument, couldn’t we pose similar questions about the men’s tour, where Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal have won a combined 20 Grand Slam events in the last six and a half years?

“Does that mean the other guys aren’t any good or that Roger and Rafa are great?” Navratilova said.

Serena has 10 Grand Slam victories to Venus’s 7. You hear all the time that both should have Federer numbers by now. It is not an unreasonable argument, but the effective counter is that they have still managed to outachieve and outlast a generation, with ease and without burning out.

I liked Martina's comments there.  Why does Venus and Serena's awesomeness have to mean that everyone else sucks?  Why can't people just focus on their awesomeness?  The American Press seems to want to anyway.  Go with it.

OK. I Love You Again, ESPN.

I might forgive the Safina heaping if you keep putting together awesomeness like this.

Outclassed.

 

Different tourney, same result.

Question: When is the last time you remember Agi taking down a major scalp?  And I don't mean a slumping Ana from a couple of months ago.  I mean a legit, sit up and take notice, she's so wily and crafty, win?  I can't remember any significant takedown since Masha two years ago.  Sometimes I feel like she's still trading on that win. 

But anyway, once again, Agi was completely outclassed by Venus at a major.  Maybe this is just a pure matchup problem, but I'm definitely on the "SELL" side of A-Rad.  I'm just not feeling it anymore.  I like you for your off-court artistic skills and your propensity to stink-eye, neither of which require you to hold a racquet.

As for Venus, that's 30 straight sets on grass.  She hasn't lost here since 2006 when she lost to JJ (or Ana, if you believe the LA Times).  I don't generally like watching either Williams Sister on any surface, but I do like watching Venus on grass. 

It's pretty:

Good stuff.

Pic This: "It's Business, It's Business Time..."

The BEST.DAY.EVER. started with a whimper and ended with a bang. 

We can't have it all, people.


Unless your name is Mirka.  In which case, you *can* have it all.

 
Um.  No thank you.


"You want a piece of this?"

It's official.  Tennis needs to have pre-match staredowns, a la boxing.  Because they are both awesomely intense and you never know if you're about to watch a sporting event or porn.  So, win-win!

Shhh!  Do you hear that?  Listen oh so carefully and you can hear the sound of a thousand blades of grass screaming.

Yes.  He did it again.  Oh, and FYI, reporters, "slapping the bull" is nothing even close to resembling "The Robot."  Come on.

Did anyone else think it was really inappropriate for the world feed cameras to be shooting Ana all gyno style?  Show some class, fellas.

Seriously?  What is this, 2002?


Yes, she won.  No I have no idea when she's due.


But what does it all mean....


Yeah, so I'm gonna need some of that in and or around the general vicinity of my JJ area.


Sometimes it's really creepy how much Andy looks like Judy.  Oh, and while I'm at it...

K.SEARS IS WAY HOTTER THAN B.DECKS!!! Suck it!


Yes, Tranny scares me.  But she has one of the most awesome "Win Smiles" in the game.  Pure joy.

 
Open your heart, Andy.  Let us in.

In an unfortunate setback for race relations, Venus and Serena double bageled Jay-Z & Co.  Thanks a lot ladies. 

So...you refuse to sign with a clothing company but an insurance company with a lizard mascot put together a deal that sounded appealing to you?  O...k....

Oh, Dina.  Inapporpriate.  In.a.propriate.  Besides, Momo has no idea what that means.

It's Just Not Right.

So I've seen it now.  That was fun.

 
AI dropped the first set at 6-1, though to be honest it didn't seem like it should have been 6-1.  It felt closer.  But nonetheless, serving at 30-40 in the first game of the second set she fired her first ace and immediately felt a twinge in her left groin. 

She tried to continue, missing her first serve and immediately started crying as she walked to her chair to sit and wait for the trainer.  After getting the leg strapped she came back, gamely was able to close out the first game, but in a flood of tears walked up and retired. 

To Venus' credit she was really classy with how she handled it.  She gave Ana a hug and walked slowly to allow Ana to keep pace as they walked off together.  Once they got of the court Venus showed genuine concern as she talked to Ana as they headed into the tunnel.  I will add that I would expect nothing less from Venus.  She's class all the way.

Ana after the match (the video is kinda heartbreaking):

Horrible way to go.

ANA IVANOVIC: Yeah, definitely. Uhm, that's the most disappointing thing because I felt like I wasn't given a fair chance, you know, to fight.

But, yeah, it was really disappointing, especially that, you know, all of a sudden I felt pain after that serve. And, yeah, I'm really disappointing.

Q. Did you have the problem in the first set?

ANA IVANOVIC: No, no, nothing. I didn't feel anything up until that point. Over past few days I felt muscle tightness, but that was, you know, normal after playing so much on the grass.

Just when I was serving 30‑40 down in that first game, and after my first serve when I landed I just felt a sharp pain on my inner thigh and I couldn't step on my leg ever since.

Q. It was very hot today on Centre Court. I think it was 31 degrees in the shade. Did the heat have anything to do with it?

ANA IVANOVIC: It was very hot, but I made sure I stayed hydrated. I had a lot to drink before the match and also last night. Yeah, it was a different day in London.

But, yeah, you know, I enjoyed. I thought I had some chances in the first game of the first set. Even though it was 6‑1, I still thought it was pretty close. She played really well. She wasn't missing much.

But, yeah, I just felt like, uhm, maybe I should have had a fair chance to fight back.

Q. How big a disappointment is it compared to anything else you've endured?

ANA IVANOVIC: Obviously it's very disappointing. You know, especially that I felt my form was getting better and better. So, yeah, it's really frustrating (tearing up.)

Q. Is that part of the problem, because you hadn't had the best year, but you were coming back?

ANA IVANOVIC: Yeah, just frustrating because, like I said, I felt, you know, good out there. I was playing better each match. I just thought, you know, it was great challenge for me today to play against someone like Venus.

And, yeah, just disappointing I didn't get the right chance, you know, to finish the match.

And Venus:

Q. Probably not the way you want to advance, but you advance nonetheless. Can you just talk about that.

VENUS WILLIAMS: Yeah, I don't even know the last time that I had these circumstances. I don't think ever in a slam. So I think she was in a lot of pain.

You know me, I'm one of those players I just only pay attention to what's going on on my side of the net. But today I felt really sad for her actually. She was really upset.

This is Wimbledon. It's the last place you want to have an injury that you can't overcome. So I'm wishing her a lot of luck in her recovery.

Q. Did you notice the moment when she was injured?

VENUS WILLIAMS: I just think it happened in the last game, and I guess it was painful. You know, she's tough. She tried to not show it. But, you know, professional players, we're always in a little bit of pain of some sort. So you get used to the pain level, but I guess it was something she couldn't work through.

So yeah.  Really tough luck for the kid.  It seems like every time she's on her way to gaining momentum something happens. 

Um...Yeah.

Today...has not been great. 

Ana was forced to retire from her match with a groin injury sustained in the first game of the second set.

Pic This: Leapin' Leprechauns

The higher they go, the harder they fall.  Sad for Elfie. 

But he was WAY cute in his presser.


They don't call him Gonzo for nothing.

I actually think I would enjoy watching the Williamses play doubles live.  Not on TV when there's other interesting and important tennis going on, but you know, at other times.

Just because I know boys read this blog.  You're welcome.  I guess.


Sigh.  If only he flipped it.  Next time.


"Uh...hello."


Hey, it's *that* guy!

Most of the time Momo's pics look weird, primarily because she comes under the ball (heh) so much on her forehand and then her one-handed backhand looks nuts if you don't catch it right. 

But then there are pics like this.  Love.


*Yeah* you're in.  My vagina.

Hey, Upper East Siders.  Looks like S dropped in and braved the hot sun in support of Lonely Boy.  All kidding aside though, I've always really liked Kim Sears.  And I *need* that purse.

Nooooo.  No vest.  Bad Muzz.  Bad.

The Sex is in the house, people.  Respect.

No Taxation Without Representation!

Greatest Hit Face Ever.

Nice day for the American men and women with two expected wins and two surprises. 

A-Rod and Venus are looking solid, Venus in particular.  But Andy's been serving and moving well.  Who knows, he actually might have a shot here. 

Yeah, probably not.  But it's going to be fun watching him try.  It's like watching a blind puppy repeatedly crashing into a glass door.  You know it's sad and you shouldn't laugh, but come on, IT'S COMEDY GOLD.

As for the surprises, who had Melanie Oudin and Jesse "Marat Slayer" Levine going into the third round?  Nice runs, you two.

And these two won their dubs match.  In case you missed it on ESPN when they decided to ignore all the other interesting single matches.  Nice.

 

Pic This: Around The Horn On Day 2

Day 2 pretty much followed the script from Day 1.  The top seeds played like top seeds, a few moments of heartburn, a few minor upsets.  But all in all, no major shakeups.

The Getty caption to this pic is "Jeremy Chardy serves to Andy Roddick during their first round match...", which...uh, no.  Still a rad pic though.

Momo will vanquish all that stand in her way.  Or...well...at least the one who stood in her way today.  Who knows what'll happen in two days.

Aw...how adorable.  She went ditched the black tape and went with the traditional off-white tape out of respect for Wimbly.  Or something.

And I'm pretty sure that if Martina saw this pic she'd cream herself.  Go Volley!Ana!

Commodus out of the shadows.

I shit you not.  Those are the lyrics to "One Moment In Time" by Whitney Houston. 

That hand belongs to Georgie Stoop, who also admitted to listening to Spin Doctors before taking the court.  Either Georgie Stoop is 40 years old or the early 90's just hit Britain.

Uh...ok.

JJ was complaining about her feet again today.  So go ANTA!

Seriously, Adidas has to be feeling pretty good about themselves.  That or they totally bribed all the photogs to not take pics of their athletes slipping on the grass.

To this day my parents still make fun of me because when I was a kid (and really, up until I was like 14) I always took pictures crouched down on one knee.  I have no idea where that habit came from.  But I'm fairly certain I have a childhood pic that looks exactly like this one.  Minus the racquet and ball.  But I think I was definitely in a skirt.  All class, baby.

Nice.  Why don't they just write "FAIL" up there and leave it up.

Long Line of Levers.

It really is something seeing Venus on the grass courts of Wimbly.  Her gangly lankiness, which for some reason looks awkward and off-putting on other surfaces, looks downright awesome and gracious on grass. 

There's no rational explanation for it, really.

Anyway, Venus kicked off her title defense with an easy 3 and 2 win.

Pic This: Wimbly Warmup

 
I've been a bit lazy with Wimbly practice pics.  I shall try and make amends now.


There's been a bit of ankle grabbing going on during the practice sessions.  Both Serena and Blah were having some trouble with their footing and weren't looking particularly comfortable.


So what do you guys think?  Are you taking Williams sisters or the field? 


Fed's been looking relaxed, no surprise as to why.  Lots of laughs with the boys.


Nole on the other hand seems to have been Mr. Serious on the practice courts. 


Is Nole planning to rock a sweater vest?


Obligatory "A-Rod Looks So Fucking American" pic.


Lots of folks picking Shazzy to at least make the semis. 


Just cuz.

 
gomuzz [/whisper]

"Arabian Niiiiiiiights, Like Arabian Daaaaaaaays..."

More pics from the Ralph Lauren Player Party.


Meh.  Ana.  Pretty.  Moving on.


That is, like, my huge peeve about silk dresses.  No getting around that.


I would love to be in the room when Serena walks out in her "outfit".  I just want so badly to see Vee's reaction.  If that were me and my kid sister I'm pretty sure I'd bust out with an awesome rendition of "Arabian Nights".  Seriously what's going on there?  Is it chain mail that feels like fabric against your skin?  Also, is she wearing them backwards?  So many questions.

Vee looks amaaaaaaazing [/kellykapoor], btw.


I'm a sucker for dresses with pockets.  I am also a sucker for dresses that look like jeans and a hoodie, FYI.  But what is up with Lena's old face?  She perplexes me.

"After The Party Is The After Party"

This is one of the more random collection of players I've seen, considering that three of them kinda suck on grass, the other is marginally ok though has been sucking of late, and the other two are just crazy.  Well ok, one of those two is crazy.

Fine.  I'll be the asshole.

Who invited the draggies?????

I can't explain it but I just heart these two.  Homecoming King and Queen of FD High.  By a landslide.

Seriously, Sam. You Can Speak Yourself. Or Not. I Don't Know.

Dina's thinly veiled offense that the interviewer didn't know who Yelena Isinbayeva is ridix awesome. And what does it say about me that I immediately imagined that if Isinbayeva was asked about Dina she'd respond with a "Who?"

Also, Hsieh-Su Wei is my new favorite tennis player.  Why?  "Because she's coo."

Pic This: Good Things *Did* Happen Today.

Here's the thing.  As much as it sucked that Rafa lost at least now we have an interesting tournament on the men's side.  I honestly have no idea how thing's are going to shake out.

Must be weird to actually have the Parisians on your side.


Kolya's got your balls.  Tough for Fer.  Really thought he'd make a run here.

 
Nice to see Muzz saluting his fallen Falcon friend and rocking the White Hat of Dorkitude. 
And looking hot in it, I might add.


Ruh roh.  Dina's beauty salon is open for business.  Kid's getting ready for her closeup.


Show me where the bad man touched you, Marin.


Well, Viko, have the lambs stopped screaming?


At first I thought this pic was stitched together.  Something about it looks surreal.


Nice to see Jay-Z still in the tourney, even if for dubs.  Lavender Jie has a calming effect on me.


You *should* hide your face, Agnes.  That was just sorry.

You Saw It Coming, Right?

Well, well, well...

... look who's back!

I have to say that I was not surprised at all that Agnes took Venus out, even though due to my intense sports superstition I was too afraid to actually contemplate that possibility in my mind beforehand, much less say it out loud anywhere.  But I don't see how this can actually be that big a surprise to anyone-- Venus had gone 3 sets in her first two matches, Agnes was winning easily.  Venus, due to some bad luck with scheduling, was playing every day; Agnes, presumably, was well-rested and has been rounding back into form for awhile.  Add in that clay is Venus's weakest surface, and this was obviously going to be Agnes's best chance to take her down.  

Oh well, Venus.  You defended your points and I read somewhere that every time you've gone out in the 3rd round of RG, you've followed it up by winning Wimbledon.  See you at SW19!

Agnes's opponent in the 4th round will be Dominika Cibulkova, who's also been moving solidly and quietly through the draw.  That could be an interesting match.  Ah, so happy to see Agnes playing well again.  One final thought...

... you and your doubles partner with the PDAs.  Calm that shit down, girls.

Dear Lucie: Get. It. Done.

I know you won't.  But I'd be remiss if I didn't make my wishes known.

Just Did It.

 
I'm digging both NIke kits.  Rafa's is subversive in its own way and Fed in light blue with the orange trim actually makes him look fresh and not like the old fogey that he is. 

See?  I can be complimentary.

Stan survived a 5 setter over Devilder.  Nice job, Stanley.

3.5 Americans won on clay!

Masha came back from a set down to eventually win fairly easily.  Serve and dress notwithstanding she was looking really good off both sides. Lateral movement looked good and she's still able to whack the ball into the corners and find some angles.  But she's faced with the same questions Ana is: Can she hold serve against the bigger hitters?

And Venus "gave away" the second set to Bethanie before pulling out the three set win.  Tough luck for Bethanie, who looked like she was struggling with a right wrist problem during the match.


And is Alexa Glatch the real deal?  Again, it's not that she's beating top 30 players, she's demolishing them.  Benesova, Kvitova, and now Flavia, 1 and 1.  Where'd this kid come from?


Jay Z won and K-Bond is the only Bond left in the draw as she took out Peppermint Patty.


One match didn't finish.  Vera D and Caro are locked at a set a piece before the match was suspended for darkness.  Come on, Caro.

Fashion Faux Pas

Look, ladies.  I know Paris is all about being all á la mode and shit, and that can be a lot of pressure, and it might push you to try things that you wouldn't otherwise do.  I get it.  But you're both seasoned competitors, experienced clotheshorses, built like a designer's dream... so there's no excuse for what I had to look at today.

First up, Miss Venus Williams:

This picture actually makes this dress look about as good as possible.  I looked all over, but the others must have been so bad no one could justify posting them.  I never think Venus's dresses fit her, and this is no exception. It's exactly the same design as her other one, and I'll skip right over the fit problems (skirt fixed too high, straps too loose, etc. ad nauseum) and go right to the colour scheme. Is tie dye supposed to be back? I think Venus is trying to convince me, but she's failing. Colour block tie dye, even if well-executed, is never advisable. And this is not well-executed. It looks like the light reflection in an oil slick. About the best thing I have to say about this is that at least she finally figured out that she needs to be wearing a bra.

Next, Miss Sharapova:

Yeah, that's how your dress made me feel, too. The cut reminds me of JJ's Anta Maternity line (circa AO), and the way it billows out in action reminds me of when I was 10 and was obsessed with drawing ball gowns with bustles on them. The overall effect is just kind of bizarre, like a 10th grade Home Ec sundress gone terribly wrong. It's not terrible standing still, but in action it's a nightmare, and the action is the point, n'est-ce pas? 

Oh well. At least you both won your matches. Maybe one of you can borrow Flava Flav's très chic and flattering Sergio Tacchini dress, now that she won't be using it anymore. Bonne chance.

(A)KO

Poor Anne.

She really didn't play badly, certainly nowhere near the level where you'd expect someone to get double bagelled. An awful lot of those games went to 30-30 or deuce, sometimes multiple deuces. She had a great clay season coming into Roland Garros and even with an unlucky draw, deserved better than that. After all, Dina's had problems with players a lot worse than AKO.

But Dinara was just on a mission today. It wasn't her best performance by any means, but she did the most important thing-- she played the big points big. In the middle of the second set, AKO was up 40-0 on her own serve and the crowd went wild-- but a few minutes later, Dinara had heartlessly broken her once again. Sad for Anne, who really played well enough to win a few games, but an important start for Dinara, proving to herself that she can hold it together and decimate an in-form player.

In other news, Kleybs is out; Aravane's in; Kolya's through; Rafa is serving for the second set in a surprisingly close match (!!!) with a guy Justin Gimelstob assures us has "played a lot of Challengers"; The Burrito got bagelled in the first set by Melanie South; Stan's just into a 5th set against Devilder, and Venus is at a set all (!!!) with Bethanie Mattek, but up a break in the 3rd. The most stunning news from that match, of course, is that Bethanie is not the worst dressed player on the court.