Forty Deuce

Trophy Hoister Sunday: Muzzah and Venus

After a day of semifinal upsets, all was right in the WTA/ATP world.  Venus avenged her 3 match skid against Flava Flav, beating her 76(1) 62.  This is Venus' first WTA title of the year.

Guess what, Venus?  You get a puppy!

This win puts Venus in great position to get that last YEC spot. 

And in the Battle of the Birds (Baby Owl vs. The Muzzard) Andy came out on top, though it looked for a second there like Commodus was going to stage yet another comeback.  But Andy held him off to win 64 76(6) for his second Masters shield of the year and further cementing him as a solid #4 and challenger to the Rafa/Fed monopoly.

Your reward?  An opportunity to be a completely awkward doofus around pretty girls with boobies:

Which obviously led to this:

Hah.

But before we leave Zurich and Madrid, can we just give a shout out to our runner-ups, Flava Flav and Commodus? 

Flavs who ended JJ's win streak and stormed on to the finals.

And Gilly, the comeback kid, who scratched and clawed his way to the final, beating Rafa along the way.  Those are two awesome feel-good stories.

Dinara Cooks Momo Lunch, Then Eats It.

Oh Dinara, that was just cold.  You can't do crap like this.  You can't string along your elders, give them hope that maybe, just maybe they still have it and they can still compete, and then crush their dreams with one swing of your racquet.  You're better than that.  I expect more from you, Beluga.

So yeah, Baby Beluga beat Momo 67(2) 64 64 today.  I don't know what it is, but given Dinara's results lately, I get the sense that she's starting to run out of gas.  She hasn't been as dominant as she was in the past and I'm wondering if it's all finally getting to her.  Hope she gets some rest before the YECs, where she will most likely be my favorite to take it all.

In other action, Ski Boots came back to dust Chakky on her home turf, 26 61 64.  Oh, Anna.  Just call it a year and take some time to deal with the psychological trauma you so rightly suffered because of the armed robbery.  Seriously, call Dr. Melfi.

Other than the loss of the Chakster it was a good day for Mother Russia, as Lena, Kuz, and Nads all won.

 

Boo. Stan and Gilly out.

Stan sure isn't helping his Shanghai chances, is he?  He last to a qualifier in his first round match, 67(5) 62 76(5).  He's still got three tournaments to accumulate points but this was a misstep for sure.

Gilly Simon's chances of making Shanghai also too a hit as he got Schwanked, 46 75 76(5).  Thank you Mary Carillo for giving us "Schwanked".  A fantastic contribution to the tennis nickname world.

Other Vienna results (yay, Ernests!):
[2] F Gonzalez (CHI) d S Bolelli (ITA) 46 76(2) 62
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d M Gicquel (FRA) 62 62
R Stepanek (CZE) d [Q] P Snobel (CZE) 64 62
E Gulbis (LAT) d F Volandri (ITA) 62 63
S Giraldo (COL) d [WC] S Koubek (AUT) 61 62
J Melzer (AUT) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 76(3) 63

Kei In, Ivo Out.

Special Kei used his wildcard status in Stockholm to continue his solid rise through the rankings, taking out the number 8 seed Granollers, 26 64 62.  Go Kei!  Project 45 is still alive.

Other scores from Stockholm:
D Hrbaty (SVK) d P Andujar (ESP) 62 61
N Lapentti (ECU) d I Navarro (ESP) 36 76(5) 75

OOP for tomorrow is here.  Headbandian and Super Mario are in action.

Over in Vienna, the premier men's tourney of the week, JCF scored an upset by downing Dr. Ivo, 64 76(4).  I had a feeling JCF was going to take this one but not in straight sets.  A nice win for him.  Other than Ivo's ousting, the matches pretty much went to form, with Tabasco Ivanovic, Canas, FeLo, and Moya all victorious. 

OOP for tomorrow is here.  I'll have my eye on Gonzo/Bolleli, Ernests/Volandri, and Schwank/Simon.  I may also watch those matches.

Hey O!

Trophy Hoister Sunday: JJ, Ski Boots, Big Berd, Cirstea, Dima

Good for JJ.  Instead of letting the #1 ranking drop in her lap by doing nothing, JJ actually won Stuttgart, beating Venus along the way.  She beat Nads 64 63.  She'll now have to decide whether to take the $98k winners check or the Porsche Carrera 4S.  As JJ said, "I already have a Turbo, so why not the Carrera as well?"  Why not, indeed.

You know, of the Mean Girls cast, she is SO Gretchen Weiner.  Can't you imagine her saying "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me.  But I can't help it that I'm so popular."  So fetch.

 

Go Ski Boots!  She beat Kaia Kanepi 62 36 61 on her way to her third title in three months. But more importantly, she showed all us Adidas haters that you CAN win in that cursed outfit:

 

In the upset of the day, Tomas Berdych took out Crazy Train 61 64.  Apparently JMDP had some sort of stomach virus and was running off the court to boot.  But he got his legs back under him in the second set and all credit to Big Berd for staving off a few break points on his serve and finally holding for the win.

In Tashkent, Sorana Cirstea won her first WTA title, beating Sabine Lisiki 26 64 76(4).  And in Metz, Dima gritted out a tough win over Paul Henri Mattieu, 76(8) 16 64.

A-Rod Chokes Again.

A tough loss for Andy, who fell in a tight one to Tommy Berdych, 67(3) 75 76(3).  Andy actually served for the match at 5-3 in the second set but couldn't convert, and Berdych went on to win the next four games to take the set.  In the third set tiebreaker, Big Berd raced to a 6-1 lead and then converted his third match point on an ace. 

Berdych will face Crazy Train, who took out Reeshard in three sets 63 46 75.

Gonzo No Match For Big Berd.

It was straight set city today in Tokyo, as the boys set up their semifinal matchups.  On one side, we'll see Crazy Train take on Gasquet.  The Train took out #1 seed Daveed Ferrer in straight sets and Gasquet took out Rainer Schuettler 63 62.

The other semifinal will be Big Bomb City, as A-Rod takes on Big Berd.  Big Berd stuck Gonzo with a bagel, 60 64, and A-Rod took out Troiki 63 64.

"She's got it, yeah baby she's got it."

Well that was a statement.  Venus just sealed her straight set win over Baby Beluga, 64 62.  And she looked good doing it.  Apparently she was dominating at the net and absolutely crushing Dinara's serve.  A win here in Stuttgart would sure make things interesting, don't you think?  I mean, if she was crushing Dinara's serve, imagine what she's going to do to JJ (assuming she beats Bepa).

Two of the three semifinal spots have also been booked.  Nads took out a seemingly exhausted and listless Na Li, 62 63, and Vika Azarenka but gave Lena D. a Belarusian Beatdown, 76(6) 36 61.  61 in the third, Lena?  That's just sorry.  A huge win for the teen though!  Nads and Vika will face each other tomorrow.

I Really Need To Stop Jinxing People.

"I hope and pray Jo can do it, but I just don't think his body is stong enough right how to carry him through so many tournaments." -- Me, yesterday

Augh, me and my stupid gut.  JWT retired while up a set against Troiki today in Tokyo.  According to the ATP he retired because of an abdominal strain.  Poor Jo.  Could he be going the way of Baggy?

Seeds 6-8 all went out today, with Disco Tommy losing to Big Berd, JWT retiring, and Misha losing to Rainer.  Otherwise, the bracket stayed true to form.

Reeshard demolished Project 45 in front of a home crowd, 1 and 2.  But the crowd did have something to cheer about, as local wildcard Suzuki took Daveed to three sets.  Is Daveed the JJ of the men's tour (I know I know, game wise, Gilly is)?  He just refuses to win easily.  Ever match it seems is an adventure.

Meanwhile, it is advised that you stay out of the way from Crazy Train (yeah, I'm starting to go with Crazy Train now as an homage to this crazy JMDP pics).  He is rolling and showing zero mercy.

Here are your Tokyo scores:
[1] D Ferrer (ESP) d [WC] T Suzuki (JPN) 46 63 62
[2] A Roddick (USA) d [14] J Melzer (AUT) 76(2) 62
[3] F Gonzalez (CHI) d A Delic (USA) 64 76(4)
[4] R Gasquet (FRA) d K Nishikori (JPN) 61 62
[5] J Del Potro (ARG) d [11] J Nieminen (FIN) 61 63
V Troicki (SRB) d [7] J Tsonga (FRA) 57 21 ret. (abdominal strain)
[9] T Berdych (CZE) d [6] T Robredo (ESP) 76(6) 62
[12] R Schuettler (GER) d [8] M Youzhny (RUS) 63 67(12) 64

"37?!"

(AFP/Getty Images)

It was a tough day for the boys in Tokyo but in the end the top seeds got it done.  Daveed, Gonzo, A-Rod, and Jo all needed three sets to dispatch of their challengers.  Check out A-Rod's win over Ivo Minar: 76(11) 67(4) 76(2).  Andy fired 37 aces for the match.

And you know what happens when the magic number 37 comes up in any part of my life?  This clip automatically cues up in my head (NSFW):

There were a few upsets.  Querrey California flew all the way to Japan for nothing, losing in two to fellow American Delic.  And the tournament took a Hottie Hit when homeboy Suzuki took out Simone Bolleli in three sets.

Here's the order of play for tomorrow.  Matches of note:

Reeshard vs. Special Kei
Melzer vs. A-Rod
Jo vs. Troiki
Disco Tommy vs. Big Berd

"Headband? Check. Racquet? Check. My Game? Oh, Shit."

(AP Photo/Thomas Kienzle)
Wow.  What a weird match.  Serena force feeds Na Li a bagel in the first set, Li beats ReRe back with a breadstick in the second, and then that's when it got wild.  Li broke Serena in the third and actually had 3 match points against ReRe's serve at 3-5.  Serena ends up holding.  Then, with Li serving for the match, Serena has triple break point to even it up.  But she goes on to lose five straight points, giving Li the win.

(TennisForums)
Part of the craziness?  This ace which was successfully challenged by Li in the decisive game and ultimately helped her dig out of that 0-40 hole.  It was in by barely a millimeter.

(AP Photo/Thomas Kienzle)

Huge win for Na Li who has now beaten both Williamses this year.  And I have to say, that was quite the steely performance.  To fail to convert three match points, then immediately face 0-40 on your serve, and come back to win?  That is gut check stuff.

And so with this loss, JJ will "ascend" to the #1 ranking once again without yet playing match.  I mean really, would there be any other way?  The Glitter Queen just finds the weirdest backdoor ways to get that sucker, doesn't she?

It hasn't been a good day to be a seed in Stuttgart so far.  Play is continuing but Peppermint Patty beat Sveta and Vika beat A-Rad.  The only seed to survive today was Bepa.

Venus Means Business, Other Girls Jet Lagging.

(AFP/Getty)

Venus came out firing today, demolishing ALG, 1 and 2.  Nice solid performance by Venus.  That's a statement win.  And it looks like A-Rad has temporarily righted the ship, winning her first round match 3 and 2.

But generally, it was not a great day to be anyone who just played in Asia  Domi, Agnes, The Cone, and Flava Flav all went down rather listlessly.  Mono destroyed the wee Domi, 3 and 1, and Vika took out Agnes 75 63.  Nice win for the screaming teenybopper.  And watch out for the recently resurgent Nads.  Something tells me she's goingt to take out a big name here, maybe Kuz in the next round.

OOP for tomorrow:

Center Court (from 13.00hrs)
1. Zvonareva vs. Hantuchova
2. Schnyder vs. Kuznetsova
3. Azarenka vs. A.Radwanska (NB 17.00hrs)
4. S.Williams vs. Li
5. Dementieva vs. Bammer (NB 20.30hrs)

Trophy Hoister Sunday: JJ, Andy, Jo, and MaKiri

A nice little weekend for tennis, I thought.   

Let's start in China.  Where it was 57 degrees at the start of the match.  But JJ summoned the power of Burberry to steamroll Sveta, 63 62.  Was there any doubt that JJ would win?  As loyal Forty Deuce commenter CMS said, "Well since JJ can't get #1 with the title here, my money's on her."  So true, CMS.  So true.

There's nothing flashy about JJ's game to me, but it's just solid.  Her game consists of getting balls back and not missing.  She figures out how to get it done and one thing that I will always tip my cap to her for is her ability to read the game and construct points (unless under stress in which case she loses it a bit).  JJ never looks like she's actually that fast but before you know it, she's on the ball.  She anticipates really well in, in the way that Roger's quickness is very much tied to his anticipation.

Back to back finals for Kuzzie, so that's gotta feel good.  But her finals record now goes to 1 and 11 over the past two years. 

As for Andy, a really solid performance, winning 64 67 63.  He was tested but he was serving well and playing his weird "power pusher" game.  As for Dudi Sela, dude (hah!), you hung with the big boys this week.  Good on you.  Hope this win gives Andy some momentum going into the indoor season and the YECs.

 
Over in Thailand, revenge is sweet (though, I don't know WHAT is going on in that pic), as Jo won 76 64.  Isn't it hard to believe that this is Jo's first singles title?  Ever?  I didn't see the match but given the scoreline, it looks like it was a really tight one that was probably decided by 2 or 3 key points. 

Another tough runner-up loss for Nole, who is still working to recapture that swagger on the court that got him his first Grand Slam title.  He's playing well, he just doesn't have that X-Factor that allows him to kick it up a notch.  But it's always nice to see that smile (standing there with good buddy Paradorn Schiripan).  Does anyone get the sense that Nole doesn't mind losing to people he likes?  Maybe I'm just making it up in my head, but his recent losses to Muzzah and Jo come to mind.


Finally, in Seoul, the ugly Stella dress that hangs off Maria Kirilenko threatened to tag her with its bad mojo (though it looks great in that pic), but MaKiri recovered from dropping the first set to dominate the rest of the match, winning  26 61 64.  Yay, Lil Mash!

Bonus: Ski Boots won a doubles title!

Finals Lined Up.

It wasn't an easy day for the #1 and #3 seed, but in the end they survived their upstart challengers.  JJ needed three sets to take care of the Bronzed Bepa, 64 26 64.  Sveta ground out a tough two setter over Zheng Jie, 76(3) 75.

Dudi Sela continued his magnificent run to his first ATP final, beating Rainer Schuettler in straight sets, 63 63.  He'll face A-Rod, who needed 3 sets to dispatch of the pesky Bjorn Phau, 62 67(4) 61.

 

And over in Thailand it'll be a rematch of the 2008 AO Final, as Nole and Jo kept to the script and pounded their semifinal opponents on the way to the final. 

Jo handed fellow pastry, LaMonf, a bagel on his way to a 60 63 win, and Nole took out Big Berd 75 61.

Nole and Jo March On.

Over in Thailand, the top four seeds advanced, all in straight sets.  Nole and Jo continued their romp through the field.  Nole dispatched of Robin Soderling (Forty Deuce's most hated ATPer) 64 75, and Jo Willy took out Melzer 63 62.  Big Berd and La Monf are also through.

He's pretty.

So, semifinals and order of play:

Monfils vs. Tsonag (1pm)
Nole vs. Berdych

JJ Puts On Some Clothes, Men Fall Down.

Other than Baby E's ouster at the hands of homegirl Zheng Jie, the ladies seeds had a fairly routine day.  JJ took out SuperGirl in two sets, 75 61.  But you have to think that Dani has to be encouraged with her play  this week.  Two wins and she took the world #2 to 75 in the first. 

And she forced JJ to put on some extra clothes.  Now THAT is a victory in and of itself.

Kuzzi and Bepa also made through easily, Bepa handling a bagel and a chinese donut to Annabel Medina Guarrigues, 60 61. 

As for the boys, it was a crazy day.  Bjorn Phau, of "fastest man on tour according to Agassi" fame, took out the #3 seededGonzo, 63 46 63.  This after Dudi Sela (heh, doodie) knocked out his second seed of the week, Disco Tommy, and Rainer Schuettler dispatched crazy head Reeshard 64 36 64.  Nutty!

All this is to say, this yours to win Andy.  He won his three setter over Juan Carlos Ferrero, 26 63 64.

So here are the semifinal matchups and order of play:

1. ATP: Sela vs. Schuettler (NB 14.00hrs)
2. Jankovic vs. Zvonareva (NB 16.00hrs)
3. ATP: Phau vs. Roddick (NB 19.00hrs)
4. Kuznetsova vs. Zheng

I'm really looking forward to a JJ/Kuzzie final, with Kuzzie finally breaking her sorry streak and actually winning a final.

The Streak of No Streaks Continues.

Oh well.  It was fun while it lasted.  Zheng Jie toughed out a tight match, beating Baby E. 76(4) 26 64.  It was a really tight match and Baby E had her chances, namely in the first set when she was serving for the set was broken fairly easily by Zheng.  After bouncing back in the second, she gave Zheng an early break and though she kept fighting, she couldn't get the break back despite a number of chances to do so.  All credit for Zheng for fighting through it because Ana did not go away.  She kept the pressure on Zheng and made her hold and serve it out. 

But there is a silver lining.  Ana looked better than she has in the past few months.  Her serve was off at times, which hurt her, but her movement looked good, her shot selection was generally spot on, and she was working her forehand pretty well.  But it all came down to execution on key points and AI just couldn't shake the rust.  And boy, Zheng was absolutely crushing the ball and painting the lines.  Not much AI could do there.

But hey, she should still walk away feeling better about this tournament and her progression.  She should also be disappointed because she had this match but just couldn't close it out when she needed to.  But I think all in all, this was a positive tourney for her and she should go into Moscow with more confidence than she had going into Beijing.

Ok.  I'm tired.  And a wee bit drunk.  So I'll stop now.  I will simply leave you with this:

Tabasco was watching the match from her box. 

Insert "Nando in Ana's box" jokes here.

UPDATED: He was also watching her practice.  Cree.  Pee.

Nole Takes Care of Business.

Nole, still rocking that Adidas neon green (which I actually really like) won handily today in Thailand, 61 63.  Unfortunately, three of the more hated players on the ATP (hated by me, mainly) also won.  Big Bird beat Italian hottie, Simon Bolelli, Soderling, beat Gabashvili (no word on how sparkly Gabashvili was), and Melzer beat my boy Troicki.  Boo on all of you.  A curse on all your houses.

In the evening matches in Beijing, Gonzo and Reeshard advanced easily.

Lots of fun matches lined up for today: Zheng/Ivanovic, JJ/Dani, Domi/Kuzzie, Melzer/Jo, and Nole/Soderling.  Juicy!

China Open OOP:

Stadium (from 12.30hrs)
1. Zheng vs. Ivanovic
2. ATP: Sela vs. Robredo (NB 14.00hrs)
3. ATP: Phau vs. González
4. Jankovic vs. Hantuchova (NB 19.00hrs)
5. ATP: Ferrero vs. Roddick (NB 21.00hrs)

Court 1 (from 12.30hrs)
1. Cibulkova vs. Kuznetsova (NB 14.00hrs)

Court 2 (from 12.30hrs)
1. Zvonareva vs. Medina Garrigues (NB 14.00hrs)
2. ATP: Gasquet vs. Schuettler (NB 16.00hrs)

Thailand OOP:

P Petzschner (GER) vs G Monfils (FRA) (12.00hrs)
J Melzer (AUT) vs J Tsonga (FRA)
T Berdych (CZE) vs N Mahut (FRA)
N Djokovic (SRB) vs R Soderling (SWE) (NB 7.00hrs)

Baby Elephant Downs The Cone.

Ana wins.  Wow.  It's been a while since I've been able to say that.  She took out the Cone (can we officially call her a clay court specialist, yet?)) 61 76(1), but don't let the scoreline fool you. Cornet actually served for the second set but dropped her service game to let AI back in.  From all reports it sounds like a streaky win, but hey, we'll take what we can get, no?  Besides, it looks like The Wee Fist Pumps of Fury are back:

Unfortunately, Ana's run (how long has it been since she's had a winning streak?  Wimbledon?) will likely end tomorrow as she is set to play hometown girl Zheng Jie.  Who knows, maybe Ana will be able to get her revenge, but I'm not feeling it.  First of all, she's still wearing that two piece Edge outfit, so we know she's not long for this tourney (she's never won back to back matches in it).  Second, Zheng is playing like a woman possessed.  She beat Airon Woman, 61 62.

Sveta and Bepa also won their second round matches in straight sets.  But there were a couple of upsets, though it's to the point where I don't even bother calling these upsets.  Agnes' title defense ended, losing to Anabel Medina Guarrigues 62 62, and A Chak lost to Domi, 63 62.

Not a great day for Fila.

Meanwhile, on the men's side, top seed Daveeed Ferrer crashed out hard, losing easily to Dudi Sela, 63 63.  Perhaps the adjustment from clay in Spain to hard courts in Beijing was a little too much for wee Daveed?  Because Dudi has ZERO weapons to hurt a player like Ferrer.  To lose like that is really surprising.  Fellow Spaniard, and full-time Ana hitter-onner, Tabasco also crashed out to Juan Carlos Ferrero in straight sets.  Tough day for the Davis Cup heroes.

The only other seed to have problems today was Querrey California, who lost to Bjorn Phau 57 63 64.  Not a tremendouly surprising result though, as speedy players like Phau cause Sammy Q a lot of problems.  That said, if Sam loses a match by that scoreline, you know he wasn't serving well. 

Disco Tommy and A-Rod took their matches easily.  Gonzo and Reeeshard still to play.

Is The Sun Setting?

Poor Momo.  Out in the first round again, this time to the short but sweet Domi.

Other winners for the ladies:  A Chak (anyone know if she's rocking her new Fila gear?), Agnez, and The Cone.

Interestingly, and perhaps unfortunately for Zheng Jie, she leads A-Rad 3-0 in the first in a match that was suspended by rain.  Will the Chinese weather screw the streaky Zheng?  Very possible.

As for the boys, all you need to know is that CrazySexyLosthisCool lost in the first round of the Thailand Open.  Boo.

Trophy Sunday: Russians Rule Asia. Again.

 
Winning sure is boring the bejeezus out of Baby Beluga.  That's like, the most effusive picture I could find.  Of course, it's hard to get super excited when you destroy your compatriot 61 63 in the Tokyo final to now bring your win stats to 41 of your last 46 matches.  Tennis Channel isn't airing the final until 2pm PST, but I'm just going to guess that her serve was on fire again.

For Sveta it's all about perspective.  Glass half full: First final since Indian Wells, and had to beat JJ to get there.  Glass half empty: Yet another final that she has lost.  She is now 0 for 4 for the year and 1 for 9 in finals over the last two years, with her one win coming from retirement.

And in Guangzhou, Bepa continued her fine form, taking the title over Shuai Peng, 67(4) 60 62.  So for the second month in a row, the Russians stake their claim to Asia.  Let's see what happens next week in Beijing.

 

Blink And You Missed It. Nads Sure Did.

52 minutes.  That's how long it took for Baby Beluga to feed Nads a bagel and a breadstick.  I'm not sure how you go from beating AI and A-Rad and then lose that badly to Dinara.  Maybe some will say it's a testament to how good she is right now.  I didn't see the match so I'm not sure what it was.

I will say this though.  Based on the stats from the livescore, Beluga's serve was light's out.  7 aces, no DFs, serving at 72%.  When her serve is on, her game is virtually unstoppable.  But most of the matches that she's lost she's lost because her serve went off a bit and she got yippy.  Without the ability to hold serve easily and end rallies quickly on her serve she's much more likely to get broken if forced to rally from the baseline.  Let's see if she can physically and mentally keep that serve in check going into the YEC.  If she can, she's a YEC semifinalist for sure.

Kata Chokes, Kuz In.

I actually watched this match on livestream and boy, Kuz is a very lucky woman.  She deserves no champagne for this win but I'm pretty sure she doesn't care.

Kata got an early break in the first set and then let Kuz back in and forcing a tiebreaker.  Kata again rushed out to a 40 lead and then inexplicably let Kuz back in to lose the tiebreak 75.  Kuz didn't play particularly well.  Her movement looked a step slow, her serve was shaky, and her shot selection at times was questionable.

But who cares?  She's into her second final of the year and builds some momentum heading into the end of the year.  She hasn't qualified for the YECs but I think that's just a matter of time.

UPDATED: Kuz Soars, JJ Comes Back To Earth.

[For some reason Typepad is not letting me post my picture of JJ, which is amazing and deserves much commentary.  But I want to get this post up, so I'll update it as soon as Typepad stops giving me the finger.]

 

(5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. (1) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 26 75 75
(Q) Katarina Srebotnik (SLO) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 63 64
(4) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. (Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) 64 67(5) 62
Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. (6) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 63 60

Did anyone expect these results?  I mean, sure, Dinara won as expected, but she was taken to three sets.  JJ lost to the struggling Kuz in three sets, Giant Killer Srebotnik continued to frustrate the top players by taking out Lena, Agi was bageled by Nads.  BAGELED BY NADS.  Think about that.

And JJ.  Oh, JJ.  This is what I don't understand.  You make a fantastic and rather miraculous run to the final of the US Open.  I would think you'd apply the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," strategy, the corollary of which is currently being applied by your compatriot. 

SO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY SHE'S (1) NOT WEARING GLITTER, (2) NOT WEARING FOUR POUNDS OF MAKEUP, AND (3) NOT WEARING NAIL POLISH?!?!!  Idiot!  P.S. -- Is it just me or does JJ look REALLY different when she isn't all made up. 

 

How big is this win for Kuzzie?  I don't think she's beaten a top player since Masha at Indian Wells.  Good for her.  Is this tournament hers to win?  Srebotnik never puts two back to back giant killing performances together.  Then again, Kuz has the ability to lose for no apparent reason.  As for Dinara and Nads, something tells me Baby Beluga is still recovering from her year.  Then again, you have to think Nads can't keep this up.  Right?  RIGHT?

Tokyo Day 1 Results: Slumpy McSlumpersons Slump Out of Slumpkyo.

No shock here, but quite a bit of disappointment.  Dani H., A-Chak, Momo, and Agnez were all summarily dumped out of Tokyo yesterday by Tranny Schiavonne, Kaia Kanepi, Domi, and Ayumi Morita (Pat's niece?).  That opens up the draw a little bit for Baby Beluga, who was set to face A-Chak in the third round.

In other news, Flava Flav took out the also slumping Peer (seriously, WHAT happened to her?), The Cone killed the Canuck (Wozniak), and Mono Bartoli killed the hotness factor of this tournament, taking out MaKiri in straight sets.  HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION, MARION?!?!?!

Can the WTA just keep MaKiri around anyway?  Front row, people.  FRONT ROW.

Bucharest Update: Simon and Moya In.

 
Simon Says will defend his Bucharest title against Carlos Moya tomorrow.  Simon ground out a victory against Acasuso 64 67(4) 64 today and Carlos Moya continued his inexplicable dominance of Reeshard Gasquet, demolishing him in straight sets, 62 64.

Too bad Tennis Channel isn't showing this final.  It would be a fun one to watch.  I like watching Simon play.  He seems to drive other players absolutely insane.  He's a less dramafied JJ.  Less glitter, too.

Bali Update: The Dani Train Wreck Just Keeps On Rolling/Hobbling Along.

Wannabe Brazilian Tamira Pazcek has advanced to the Bali final, beating Dani H. 62 57 64.  Good for Tamira, who seems to be ending this season on the right note.  She's starting to become one of those "oh, crap, she's in my draw?" players.  She'll play Peppermint Patty, who dispatched Drag Queen Nadia in straight sets, 75 61.

Oh, Dani.  Just call it a year and go regroup.  You clearly have the game that can beat anyone on any given day (6-0, 2-0, anyone?).  But in order to hit your flat, clean shots you need to be able to move.  And you clearly aren't doing that right now.  Not your fault, you're coming off an injury to your foot.  But still, you're playing like a club player right now.

Bucharest Update: "Well hello my name is Simon, and I like to do drawrings."

Defending champ Gilles Simon, Reeshard "I'm not" Gasquet, Carlos Moya, and Jose Acasuso are into the semifinals of the Bucharest tournament, which is played on clay.  Simon will play Acasuso and Gasquet will take on Moya.

How's this for a mind-boggling stat: Reeshard has never beaten Moya.  He's 0-2 with the losses coming on hard court and clay.  That's just...weird to me.

Bali Update: Pazcek Breaks Up a Not-So-Fearsome Foursome.

As a matter of fact, yes, there is are some tournaments going on this week.  The Tier III Bali tournament will see a Final Four of Dani H., Peppermint Patty, Drag Queen Nadia Petrova, and the somewhat resurgent Tamira Pazcek.  Pazcek beat number three seed Flava Flav today 46 60 62.  Did Flavia just run out of gas?  She sure has been playing a lot of tennis lately.

So Saturday's semifinal will pit Nadia vs. Patty and Dani vs. Tamira.  Nice to see Dani get deep into a tournament.  Maybe that foot is finally healed and she can make it to the final to defend her points from last year, where she lost to Lindsay in the final.

And Crazy Fed Restores Order On the ATP.

Stop the presses!  Just when you thought (or at least a few thought) the book on The Mighty Fed had been written and sent off to the printers, a new chapter must be written (not an epilogue, mind you) wherein a new plot-altering character is introduced in glorious form.  And that character is none other than The Mighty Fed's awesome alter ego, Crazy Eyez Fed.

Because let's face it.  Throughout this tournament, though TMF made a few cameo appearances, it was Crazy Eyez Fed that propelled the Swiss Superstar to his 5th straight US Open title, and first (and only) Slam title of the 2008 season.  This was a title that was won more out of pure guts and guile than it was sublime shotmaking and precision.  The Beautiful Balanced Baryshnikov has been replaced (for the time being I suppose) with a crasser, uglier Fed, who lunged, scurried, and fought both his opponents, but more himself, to victory.  And TMF knew it, which is why he gave his alter ego a kiss after all was said and done:

Hee.

As for Muzzah, he will regret not bringing another eye-opening performance to the big stage against Fed.  He will also lose countless nights of sleep over his failure to challenge that ball that was clearly out on break point in the second set.  He will toss and turn much like Nole did after he lost his tight final against TMF last year where he had set points and couldn't covert.  Or like Baby Elephant, who couldn't get the sight of her ill-advised drop shot in the first set of the AO final against Masha.  Or like Rafa did after he lost the 2007 Wimbledon final.  Or like Serena, who rued her choke job against Venus in this year's Wimbly.  This loss will eat at him to the point where he may be driven to take his first drink of the Devil's Punch.  And he will come out of it all a better player who is destined to win Slams.  Because if it doesn't eat at you, you (a) never really wanted it the first place or (b) you never really believed you could win.  I don't think Murray falls in either category.  That he proved over the course of this fortnight. 

But let's get back to the real story.  All credit to Crazy Eyez Fed.  This one meant the world to him.  He was clearly a step slower than in years past and the confidence in his groundstrokes came and went as each game went by.  But his heart cannot be questioned.  He is absolutely the Swiss Lion, as truthfully advertised.  He left no doubt about that:


Doesn't he kind of look like Luke Skywalker in Empire when the Emporer goes all electric on him?  Feels so good it hurts, huh?

Now THAT was entertaining.

And all is right with the world.

But almost more importantly, was that an entertaining final or what?  It was competitive, high quality tennis, beautiful shot making, and, well, a rollercoaster.  And it was brought to you by none other than the Queen of all that is dramatic and glittery:

Oh, JJ.  God bless you.  She is the only player on tour (quite possibly on either tour) who can smash an overhead into Serena, argue with the umpire, repeatedly do the splits, serve 80mph puff ball serves, laugh in the middle of points, watch herself on the Jumbotron after points while covered in a nice layer of body glitter, and STILL make a competitive match of it.  That's our girl (though she and Nole need to get tips from Ana on how NOT to get booed by a crowd).

Let's be clear, Serena played really well.  It wasn't the athleticism, power, and tenacity that she displayed against Venus but she was smart enough to know that it didn't have to be.  Serena played well within herself and played a very contained VERY clean game.  Throughout the match I marveled at the fact that Serena just wasn't missing.  All JJ needed her to do was miss occasionally.  But she didn't.  And that's where my respect for Serena grew.  She played a smart match.  She played high percentage tennis because she knew that JJ couldn't beat her off the ground.  JJ doesn't have any weapons that could hurt Serena.  So all she had to do was stay calm, keep the ball in play until JJ left something short, and then crack it.  She did, JJ did, and she did.

But in the end, I think that JJ gained a lot of respect tonight, not only from Serena but from tennis fans worldwide.  The fact is, JJ showed she belonged in that elite group of women's players.  She pushed Serena, stayed with her, scratched and clawed her way to stay in the match.  If anything, tonight was more of a showcase of JJ's game rather than Serena's.  Looking at the scoreline, I have no idea how in the world JJ kept it so close.  But she did, and it's more a credit to her wit, guile, and fighting spirit than her actual game.  All credit to her.

And so Serena finally gets the Slam that she so rightly deserved in 2008.  And when the rankings come out tomorrow, Serena will sit atop the women's game at #1, as she so rightly should (JJ #2, AI #3, Lena #4, Dinara #5).

The next major tournament for the ladies is the Pan Pacific Open in Tokyo which starts on September 16th.   

The Rafa Express Finally Runs Out of Gas.

It was bound to happen and it couldn't have happened against a better opponent. 

It's fitting that on his way to his first Grand Slam final, Andy also has ascended to the #4 ranking during this tournament.  Is there really any doubt that he is in fact the #4 player in the world?  His awesome display of counterpunching against the ultimate counterpuncher was proof positive that Andy is on his way to breaking up the elite threesome and making it a foursome.  He needed to beat Rafa in order to make it legit, and he did it in convincing fashion.  Have you EVER seen Rafa doubled over in exhaustion as he did during the last game of the fourth?  I was absolutely shocked!

Even if Rafa was fresh I don't think the result would have been different.  Murray's game is pretty to watch when it's on, but positively pretentious when it's off.  His drop shots, lazy striking, and cracking winners can be mesmerizing.  At one point I wondered aloud to myself "Why don't more people play like this?"

Monday's final should be a cracker if Muzza brings his A game.  He actually has a winning record against Fed, beating him earlier this year.  If Fed is a step slow, which I think he still is, Andy has a very good shot.  Fed's strategy has to be to rush the net to put pressure on Murray early.  He'll also need to serve big, obviously.

Crazy Fed Levitates His Way Into the Final.

Congrats to Crazy Fed, who heads into his fifth straight US Open final (but notably, this is the first final for Crazy Eyez Fed).  Two keys to this match: (1) Fed was serving bombs, thus holding fairly easily and (2) Nole just didn't want to be there. 

Nole's mindset was understandable given the circumstances, but his performance was still disappointing.  It wasn't that he played poorly per se.  But he played with no intensity, which for him, is a death nail.  Time to go home and regroup, kiddo.  Luckily for him he doesn't have to step foot back in the States for a long, long, time.

It's really too bad, too.  Because though Fed played well, he still looked beatable.  Had Nole gone on to win this tournament he would have actually ascended to the #2 ranking, bumping Fed to #3.

And since it's Saturday and I'm feeling generous, here's another awesome Crazy Eyez Fed from today:

Crazy Eyez Fed still scares me a little.  Ok, a lot.

Was There Ever Any Doubt?

Much deserved, ReRe.  You played within yourself under tough conditions against a tough opponent.  You are THE in form player going into the final.  But you'll have your work cut out for you.  Because JJ will scratch, claw, and glitter her way into making it a match. 

Apparently the wind was wreaking havoc on play today, but in the end it was the veteran who was able to focus, play with margin, and coast to victory, 63 62.  Safina did her best but she was gassed, frustrated by the wind, and let her Safin blood take over, getting uber emotional and generally going crazy on herself.  She served 6 double faults and hit 41 UFEs, which is understandable given the windy conditions.  But when you're playing a focused Serena, who only hit 21 UFEs and hit 16 winners, it's not going to be enough.

Nice moment between the ladies at the net.  Serena apologized for hitting Dinara, and Dinara, despite the disappointment was able to crack a nice smile full of respect.  She knows she just got beat.  I must say that despite Dinara's in-match craziness, she's one of the better hand-shake-at-the-netters on the women's tour.  Always nice and respectful to opponents.  Unless your name is Shahar Peer.

And so the battle for #1 will be a rematch of the Miami final, which Serena took in three sets.  But let's not forget, the Glitter Queen drove Serena nuts in that match, where Serena had a hell of a time trying to close it out.  If both play well, it should be a fun one.

UPDATED -- It's Official: JJ Takes Great Pride in Proving Me Wrong.

Awww...she looks genuinely moved.  You can see how much this meant to her.  One monkey off your back, JJ.  One to go.

I really never thought JJ would win in straight sets.  Maybe she would win, but it would take three.  But the match played out exactly as I predicted it for a JJ: Lena just straight up CHOKED.  Chokementieva decided to show up and make us all forget how great her fun alter-ego Lena D. had been playing all summer.  She double faulted at crucial moments and as the match went on her serve got slower, and slllooowweerr, and ssssssllllllooooooowwwwweeeeeerrrrrrr.

(Sorry, had to add this.  It made me LOL)

As for JJ, seriously, all credit to her.  Her defense was solid as usual and she just bullied the ball and forced Lena to go for her shots, thus resulting in 42 unforced errors.  42 UFEs in a two set match?  That's some really poor executing by the Choker.

So JJ can no longer be described as a #1 who never reached a Slam final.  But can she finally shake the last monkey?  If Serena wins, that's doubtful. 

Nole Wins, But Should Probably Keep That Wristband In His Mouth.

Ai yay ai, Nole.  You should have just let it go.  You won, dude.  You won in fairly convincing style.  You're the one who gets to keep playing, while A-Rod is out.  You destroyed Andy's dream of winning a Slam this year.  You fought through a stadium full of people who were cheering against you.  That should have been enough for you.  Smile, wave, walk off the court.  But no.  You decided to take on Andy and 20,000 people and just keep digging yourself a deep PR hole that'll take a while for you to climb out of, especially here in the States.

Nole came out and pretty much dominated the shaky Roddick, winning their quarterfinal matchup 62 63 36 76(5).  Roddick basically spotted him two sets before he picked it up and played aggressively to take the third set.  But serving for the set in the fourth at 54 30-Love, Roddick threw in two double faults, pushed a forehand wide, and then Nole converted the breakpoint with a beautiful topspin lob.  He would go on to play a solid tiebreaker for the win.

After the match, during his on-court interview with Michael Barkkan, Nole called out Andy and the crowd said this:

“Andy was saying I have 16 injuries in last match,” Djokovic told the Arthur Ashe crowd. “Obviously I don’t.” That elicited a round of boos that Djokovic acknowledged by saying: “Yeah, right. Like it or not, it’s like that.”

Referring to the crowd, he continued: “I know they’re already against me because they think I’m faking everything. That’s not nice, anyhow, to say I have 16 injuries and I’m faking it.”

And with that, Nole left the court to a chorus of boos.  Not smart, kid.  Those boys at IMG are going to have to sit you down YET AGAIN to tell you how to handle yourself.

After the match, Nole apologized and tried to explain himself.  Something tells me the damage has already been done:

Q. Andy, I mean, based on the comments on the court, Andy clearly upset you, angered you with some of the comments that became public. Was that a factor? How much were you angered by those comments?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Now, look, I had a very, very tough day yesterday. Physically I was feeling very exhausted and very empty.  I wasn't able to practice. One of the reasons was physically that, you know, I was exhausted and the other reason was that I just mentally had a lot of pressure.

Unfortunately, Andy made a statement ‑‑ I don't think it was intentional, okay. He made a joke and it was a misunderstanding, so I don't blame it on him. Okay. I did react on the court. Maybe I reacted. Maybe I exaggerated and reacted bad in that moment. No, I apologize if I reacted like that. But this was just impulsive, you know.

I had a lot of emotions in last two days. It's not nice when you get that from media all around the world and from players, and I never needed to make any excuses in the press. I just didn't need ‑‑ because I know that what I'm doing is right, that I have all the rights to take the medical timeout, that I'm doing it just for the purpose to make my physical condition better and just that I continue playing better.

I never made medical timeout because I wanted to distract the player, the opponent, or, you know, make the result look worse, you know.  And I just never did it. I didn't pay attention when I took the medical timeout. I just didn't care about it. Medical timeout is there because physiotherapist are there and doctors are there to help you out. This is what I did. I just took the medicals to help me out.  Maybe the people think that I'm exaggerating with these things, but it's just ‑‑ it's nothing bad, nothing negative, because I just ‑‑ I twist my ankle, I feel bad, you know. I get the pain in the back.

I just want to make it right, you know. Andy was always nice to me when I got to the tour, so this was just a clear misunderstanding.

Q. Have you spoken to Andy in the locker room already?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Yes, but this is just between us.

Q. I think maybe one of the reasons you were maybe upset is he was maybe not the only one who said that? Robredo said some things, and he sounded serious, although thinks his English is not as good?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Yeah, look, Robredo had the right to say something like that if he lost, you know. Everybody has right to complain and right to say. I respect everybody's thoughts and everybody's opinion.

I never wanted to disrespect anybody. As I said, if I made ‑‑ if I exaggerated on the court today and I made maybe a mistake saying that in front of 20,000 people, you know, in his city and his favorite tournament, okay, I do apologize, but it was ‑‑ he was not bad intentions. So I just hope people understand.

Q. The crowd's attitude also strengthened you even though they were very obviously with Andy? Did that help you coming back and putting him away in four sets?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, no, nothing against the crowd. The crowd here in New York, at least I get that feeling, liked me last year, and really, I had such a fun time last year. You know, reaching the finals and they were behind me. In most of the matches I played I have not enough words to thank them. I just don't want this to happen in a bad way.

You know, we had this connection, and this year, of course, this match, I mean, I didn't expect the crowd would be behind me. It's obviously that they will be for the home player and for Andy, you know. Their biggest hope to win the US Open. This is ‑‑ this is the biggest reason.

But I just, you know, I felt bad in the end.

...

Q. You were saying you had so much pressure the last couple days. Why are you feeling so much pressure?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, the thing is that you know in the past, as well, I got asked from the press and not just asked, I mean, the press was the one who was, you know, saying a lot of things and maybe other players, as well, saying their opinions about my medical timeouts, that I was taking too much, and they don't believe that I'm injured enough.

So it was a little quiet now in last year or so, and now it's coming back again.

So it's not nice, really, when you are in the middle of something that you know that you're not doing wrong, you know?

I mean, to be honest, as I said before, it was never my intention to distract anybody. It was just doing for my own good, so press is a part of my life, and I mean, I always try to be nice to everybody, and I never been in any misunderstandings or any fights with any of the other players.

I would never disrespect anybody, and this is just ‑‑ it's not, you know, a way...

Q. So you feel like you deserve more respect for the person and player you were?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Look, I just ‑‑ I just think that this should be reduced. That's all.

I mean, I'm not asking for it, you know ‑‑ you guys do whatever you need to do. You do whatever you feel you need to do. But it's just that I don't want to make excuses, you know. There is a lot of players, you know, they come and they make excuses. I'm not one of them. I don't need to make excuses, you know, why is my leg injured, why is my back injured. It's not me.

Q. We can be surprised by your way of playing. One day you're limping, the other you are not limping. So can you understand that?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: No, I can't understand that. The thing is you don't understand that in the middle of the match, you are trying to get yourself the best as possible. It doesn't mean that if I'm inviting a doctor to the court or physio that I'm dying, you know?

I'm having a problem, with the ankle, okay. I felt the pain in that certain moment, and I just want to make sure that everything is all right. That's all.

I mean, and then the big story comes out of it, and then suddenly I'm a bad guy, you know.

I know, I know, I'm a Nole apologist.  I just feel bad for the kid.  He screwed up here royally.  But you can tell from his presser that he's genuinely disappointed that it's come to this.  He doesn't want to be that guy and he's confused and perplexed as to how he did.  Seriously, watch his presser.  You can see how contrite he is.  The kid just needs to suck it up, play his game, and lay low for awhile. 

As for Andy, I wish he would have taken the high road in his presser.  It sounds like the two of them talked and had smoothed it out.  But Andy couldn't help but continue to needle Nole:

Q. You've clearly ticked him off with comments about SARS and bird flu and everything. He took himself to bring it up in front of a stadium that booed him loudly and even Michael tried to steer it and he just kept it going. Is that a bad call on his part?

ANDY RODDICK: Well, I mean, listen, here's the deal: I mean, if you guys haven't ever seen me joke in a press conference, I'd be shocked, okay?

I think you guys know it was completely meant in jest. Listen, I had four questions from each one, I had eight questions about all the other ones. Finally after 12 questions I decided to make light of the situation and it actually stopped after that. Or it screwed me up and you guys got me out of it.

I'm willing to talk about it. I don't know if, you know ‑‑ he took it as seriously. I figure if you're going to joke and imitate other people and do the whole deal, then you should take it. Listen, if someone makes fun of me I'm most likely going to laugh. If I'm over the line I'm going to come in here and say I was ridiculous. And I was wrong. I've been the worst of it in the past. By no means am I sitting here trying to be holier than thou or anything like that. But I promise you that if somebody makes a joke about it I'll probably laugh.

I'm sorry he took it that way. There's nothing else to say. I don't think I was over the line. It wasn't my intention, and, you know, I'm sorry he felt that way. Maybe I did him a favor tonight.

Q. It was our comments back and forth, and to be honest with you, today I heard from five or six or seven people, I heard it on ESPN, I heard it on USA, those types of things have legs, whether you like it...

ANDY RODDICK: I should know better, but listen, I joke all the time. I don't think anybody in their right mind takes me serious. I think it's very clear when I give a serious answer and when I don't give a serious answer.

Maybe that part ‑‑ maybe I should know better, you know, but in my eyes it's an innocent comment. I felt that most people found it funny and I tried to build it up ‑‑ if you look at the transcript, I'm saying, I'm 3, he's 8. It's straightforward. I'm trying to build it up as like I'm the favorite. I said listen, if you want to go last 10 days or go the last 10 months, he's been the best hardcourt player. I'm throwing truthful things the whole time. If someone wants to focus in on that and use it, then by all means, but especially in Novak's case, if you're going to dish out all the stuff, then be able to take it with a smile, is the only part that I don't quite agree with.

I'm not saying Andy's wrong.  I'm just saying I wish he would have just left it at "I was joking, he clearly took it seriously, and if he did then that's unfortunate", instead of carrying on with the "if dishes it, he has to take it" rubbish. 

Lost in all this hoopla is Andy's performance here.  He had a solid tournament given his horrible form coming into it, but despite his protestations to the opposite, I cannot think that he can be satisfied with a run to the quarterfinals at the US Open.  Was it worth skipping the Olympics, Captain America?  That's a question everyone will be asking.   

Crazy Fed Shows Up Again, Storms Into 18th Straight Slam Semifinal.

Crazy Fed is at it again.  But this time he brings along his new and awkward friend, Shirtless-Pensive-Staring-At-A-Towel Fed:

The sight of Crazy Fed and Farmer Tan Fed left the poor Luxembourgian Muller vanquished and defeated:

The poor guy never had a chance.

Just kidding.  Muller may have lost in straight sets to Fed but boy did he hang tough, pushing Fed to two tie breakers (Fed won 76 64 76).  All credit to Muller on the outstanding tournament he had.  Let's not forget, this is the guy who beat A-Rod in the first round in 2005, the famous "Mojo" year (referring of course to American Express' failed "Where's Andy's Mojo" campaign).  So the kid has game.  But no one figured he had THIS much game.

Congratulations to Crazy Fed.  He is now into his 18th STRAIGHT semifinal at a Slam.  Think about that.  That's over the span of four years.  Mighty impressive stuff.

Rafa Wins.

I'm very proud of myself.  No "Fish" puns.

The Sockless Wonder came out firing and reminded us all of the form he showed against Roger at Indian Wells.  He was serving huge, volleying well, and basically taking it to Rafa.  But let's face it.  You knew it couldn't last because (1) Mardy got a haircut and a shave, breaking the long standing tradition of athlete's not changing anything when they're on a win streak, (2) Boyd Tinsley, the violinist for Dave Matthews Band, was in his box cheering him on, meaning he's inherently lame, and (3) dude wears no-show socks, which speak for themselves.

This is why I think Rafa, Roger, and Nole are so above the rest of the field.  Because you may beat them 2 out of 3 at a tour event.  But taking three sets from them?  That is a very tall task and these three just find a way to figure it out and gut it out.  And against the field, with the exception of a few players (namely Murray, Roddick), no one can stay with them for five sets and no one scares those three to the point that they drop their level and lose.

And that's what happened here.  Mardy was out of this world in the first set.  And then he came crashing down, dumping easy volleys into the net, whacking groundstrokes 2-3 feet long, and missing first serves at an alarming rate.  And Rafa, the bull that he is, was relentless.  Is there nothing more inevitable than seeing Rafa sprint across the court to hit a blind cross-court passing shot?  Amazing.

So Rafa advances, though he didn't finish until 2:30am.  But again, just like Muzzah he'll have time to rest as they won't play their semi until Saturday afternoon.  So get some rest, Rafa.

Oh, and with the win, Rafa joins the elite group of players to reach at least the semifinals of every Grand Slam in a calendar year.  Boy, the kid just keeps checking off boxes on his to do list, doesn't he?

Serena Channels JJ, Splits With the Win

Not only did Serena channel the the Glitter Queen with the splits, she also channeled her game.  Serena was on the ropes against her big sister, facing multiple set points in each set.  But she scrambled like heck, won the big points when it counted, and somehow escaped with the win. 

Boy, these Sister matches aren't all that exciting from a cheering fan perspective, but they have become ridiculous displays of remarkable women's tennis.  Power hitting, big serving, speedy scrambling, and clutch volleying.  They are simply a joy to watch if you're a tennis fan. 

At this point, Serena and Venus have to be able to look at each other just shrug.  Serena should have won at Wimbledon and Venus should have won here (she had 10 set points in the match!) given their respective levels of play.  I have very little doubt that Serena is going to take this title (there, I jinxed her).  So what's nice, at least from a fan's perspective, is that both Serena and Venus had to go through each other to win their titles.  Something about that seems very just to me.

It's a shame Venus had to go out at this stage, especially when she's trying to get her ranking up.  She'll actually lose points here because she made the semifinals last year.  She was playing so well and had she been put on the other side of the draw, she would have at least made the semis, possibly the final.  But I guess that's how the Oreo cookie crumbles.

So we have some juicy semifinals now set: Dinara vs. Serena and Elena vs. JJ.  I'm still going to predict a Serena/Elena final with the winner to become the new #1.  That's a lot of marbles, people.  A lot.

Dinara Gets a Little Sugar From Flava Flav On Her Way to the Semis.

Baby Beluga had an easy win over Flavia today, winning 2 and 3.  Hopefully she can rest up for Friday where she'll face one of the Williamses.  Thanksfully for Dinara fans, she's feeling a lot better than she was a few days ago:

Q. Do you feel mentally fresh now? Are you able to put aside being tired?

DINARA SAFINA: Honestly, yes, I feel really like ‑‑ already yesterday I was practicing, and I had already a smile on the face. I was like, Okay, now I can play and move.

I think it was ‑‑ sometimes it comes this moment in the body that ‑‑ especially I had like tough match against Bacsinszky.

Next day I had day off, and then to play again I was ‑‑ because it was not easy matches. It was like more mentally that I had to pull the match again being down.

Then with Ahn it was not easy to come back. Then yesterday it was okay. I had to do what I had to do. I pulled these two matches, so now I can get only better so that slowly I'm getting back.

Dinara still looks gassed, but luckily she didn't cry before this match to her coach.  Progress!

Andy Wins. Of Course He Starts Running His Mouth.

It pains me to put this guy's smug-ass face on my blog.  But I do it for you guys.  I do it all for you.

A-Rod beat Gonzo tonight, 2 4 and 1, but the reality is Gonzo beat himself hitting 33 unforced errers.  All credit to Andy who had an incredibly clean and efficient match.  He served only 8 aces, but in Nadal-like fashion, hit only 8 unforced errors for the match.  Now that is some spot-on tennis.  On a day that saw Nole and Fed go five sets and Muller the qualifier upset Davydenko, things are starting to look pretty darn good for Andy, eh?

So good in fact, that he's decided to start throwing down against Nole in the war of words. 

Q. When asked about his injuries today, mentioning the right ankle as opposed to the left ankle, the other day ‑‑

ANDY RODDICK: Isn't it both of them? And a back and a hip?

Q. And when he said there are too many to count.

ANDY RODDICK: And a cramp.

Q. Do you get the sense right now that he is...

ANDY RODDICK: Bird flu.

Q. Lot of things. Beijing hangover.

ANDY RODDICK: Yeah.

Q. He's got pretty long list of illness.

ANDY RODDICK: Anthrax. SARS. Common cough and cold.

Q. Got a lot of things going on with him.

ANDY RODDICK: Sure.

Q. Do you think he's bluffing?

ANDY RODDICK: No, I mean, I'm sure ‑‑

Q. The way you're saying it, almost means you feel like...

ANDY RODDICK: No, if it's there, it's there. There's just a lot. You know, he's either quick to call a trainer or he's the most courageous guy of all time. I think it's up for you guys to decide.

It's crap like this that makes me unable to stomach Andy.  Totally unnecessary.  And you know he would never ever say this about Rafa or Roger. 

And JUST when I was turning the corner on him.  I was actually kind of rooting for him to take the whole thing.  Nevermind.

Johnny Fails to Put Him In a Body Bag. Crazy Fed Lives To Fight Again.

What is up with this new Crazy Fed.  He scares me.

Igor "Johnny Zabka" Andreev pushed Fed to the brink today, 67(5) 76(5) 63 36 63.  Don't let the scoreboard fool you.  It was way tighter than that.  Johnny had multiple chances to break Fed throughout the match and just couldn't cash in.  But let's give a round of applause to Johnny because he has had an outstanding hard court season.  All I know is that MaKiri better be ready to give Daddy a little lovin' tonight.  At least Johnny beats Fed on that front.

I haven't seen the match yet but word is that this was as pissed off as anyone has seen Crazy Fed.  I don't know if I like the new edgy Fed or if I prefer the calm and serene one:

Can we start calling him Disco Roger? 

Bye Bye Koyla. Hello Random Dude From Luxembourg!

Well how about that.  A qualifier from Luxembourg into the quarterfinals.  Though, was it really a shock that Kolya would lose "early" at some point?  Not really.

Muller won 64 46 63 76(12-10).  What an amazing run by him.  He'll face the winner of the Zabka/Fed match (which is quite the spicy; they're in the 5th set as we speak).

Nole survives Disco Tommy, but it doesn't look good, Nole fans.

Quite the tournament for Disco Tommy, who pushed a gassed and injured Nole to five sets today before losing 63.  He beat Safin and Tsonga to here and continued his top form play in the first set, taking it 64.  But Nole, leading 3-0 in the second, injured his hip on a slide and called for the trainer.  He would later call for the trainer again for stomach problems between the fourth and fifth set.  On top of all that he rolled his ankle pretty badly in the fourth.  So yeah, kid had a rough day.

Tommy lost his concentration for a couple sets after that, but he regained his composure and got a second wind in the fourth, taking it 64.  But Nole proved too much and I think he tapped into his experience at last year's Open, where he had to play two t ough back to back long matches against Stepanek and Monaco.  The kid looks tired though, a la Dinara Safina.  Not sure how much he has left.

But nevertheless, he gutted it out and booked himself a spot in the quarterfinal where he will presumably play A-Rod, who plays his fourth round match tonight against Gonzo.  Here's hoping Nole can recuperate by Thursday night.

I'm no scientist, but I can't think that freezing your sweat glands is conducive to cooling down.

Lena D., as expected, cruised into the semifinals this morning, beating Peppermint Patty 62 63. 

But get this.  You know that serve that's held her back from the top spot in the past?  She served at 80% today and was only broken once.  How do ya like dem apples?

Hmm...could this be the year? 

US Open Day 8: "Yo Mama's so cross-eyed she can watch a tennis match without moving her head."

Drama.  It's not just for the ladies, folks.

With Muzzah's straight set win over Stan the Man and Crazy Elf's dispatching of Special Kei, a rematch of the Throw Down In Rome is now set for Wednesday.  Tasty stuff.

These two have known each other since juniors and let's just say they don't like each other.  It all came to a head in Rome this year, when JMDP did the one thing that you just never ever ever do.  Smack a ball at Muzzah at the net?  No, that's within the rules.  Talking about his Mama?  Whoa boy, you just crossed the line:

Asked about the Rome incident in his post match presser on Monday, Muzzah said this:

"Whether I like Del Potro or not really doesn't make any difference. When you get on the tennis court it's another match, and you've got to win....I've known him since we were really young. Doesn't really bother me. I wasn't great friends with him before. I don't need to be friends with him now."

Allrighty then.  Should be a fun one on Wednesday.

Oh yeah.  Serena won.  Shocker.

Bagels, Breadsticks, and Gut Checks.

Well well well.  The results were not surprising, but the matches were.  Thank God for Tivo!

I have learned since seeing Mardy Fish destroy (and yes, I mean DESTROY) Roger at Indian Wells that you can't really count the dude out.  The fact is that when he is on, he is awfully hard to beat.  But I also know that he's a bit of a flake and against a guy like Monfils I figured it would go at least four sets with a few sets being very close.  But for all the upside to Monfils (athletic ability, court coverage, shot making ability) there's also a downside, which was harped upon at RG before he made his run.  He is your quintiscential counterpuncher who is content to hang behind the baseline and let his opponent make mistakes.  I've always had a problem with these types of players because how can they are essentially going into a match hoping that the other guys screws up, as opposed to taking their game to the other player and beating them.  Seems awfully risky to me to put the match on the other guy's racquet instead of your own.

Well today, LaMonf was taken to the shed by Mardy Fish.  He was patient and went for his blazing shots when they were there and he executed.  All credit to Mardy for two very impressive back to back wins.  He's having an Indian Wells-like run here.

Mardy's next opponent is Rafa, who had a rather adventurous afternoon.  Sure, he won in four sets but boy, it was a lot closer than the score indicated.  Querrey California showed up to play and he was hell bent on (a) not getting embarrassed and (b) maximizing his air time on CBS (the kid IS from Southern California after all).  Rafa seemed on a roll until he had a break point at 4-2 and sent a forehand flying out of bounds on an easy second serve.  That seemed to rattle him and Querrey came back and rattled off a 7-5 win.  From then it it was a complete gut-out by Rafa.  He was completely off his game, sending a load of UFEs (for him) and serving horribly.  The world #1 was sending in 90 mph serves.  But in the end Querrey couldn't capitalize.  The epic 4-2 game in the fourth set that saw seven break points for Querrey, would eventually go Rafa's way.  And the rest is history.

I think this was a good match for Rafa to have.  Every top player needs one game in the tournament to test their fight and their gut.  This was Rafa's.

As for the ladies, it was a bagel and breadstick buffet.  ALG gave Dinara a run in the first set, eventually losing 7-5, and that must have broken her spirit.  Baby Beluga would eventually force feed the resurgent German a bagel in the second.  Dinara will face Flava Flav who has had a fantastic few months.  She destroyed Momo 3 and 0.  Dinara holds the 4-0 lead on the H2H, beating Flavia just a month ago in the LA final, 4 and 2. 

As for Venus, well, she was Venus.  She looks absolutely unbeatable, beating Agi 1 and 3.  Radwanska made it a tick more competitive in the second set but in the end there was zero doubt who was the favorite and who had the game to take the tournament.  The more the Sisters play the more bummed I get that they're going to meet in the next round (assuming Serena wins her match tonight).  It's a darn shame.

US Open Day 7 Results: Not Quite Ready for Primetime Player

All credit and respect to 19 year old Marin Cilic.  What a performance.  Cilic was en fuego tonight, displaying an impressive combination of size and speed.  I knew Cilic was a big server, but I had no idea the boy had such great court coverage.  He was a brick wall tonight and he frustrated the heck out of Nole.  Some of those returns that he got back were pure magic.

As for Nole, overall he didn't play poorly (and he looked good in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle gear).  But every time he had a chance to put the pedal to the metal, he blinked.  So many opportunities to break, consolidate breaks, etc., and he muffed a lot of them.  It wasn't until the fourth set tie-breaker that his experience bubbled to the surface and he was able to outclass a gassed Cilic to win the TB 7-0. 

But it wasn't his play that concerned me tonight.  It was his lack of emotion.  Nole plays better when he's on the edge emotionally and for some reason he was quite detached and reserved tonight.  One thought that crossed my mind was that he didn't want to incite the Serb/Croat undertones to the match.  A whooping and hollering Nole probably wouldn't have gone down well, especially in contrast to the mild mannered Cilic.

Here's hoping that Nole got this out of his system and can go forward with more fire.  He's got Disco Tommy next (who impressively took out Tsonga in straight sets) and then possibly Roddick, who also won in straight sets today, and Fed.  And that's just to get to the final!  Turtle Power!

How about Gilles Muller?  Talk about an underdog.  A qualifier from Luxembourg, he toppled yet another seed in a five set comeback, beating Nico Almagro 75 in the third.  He'll play Kolya next, who beat Tursonov in straights.

Is Lena D. the only one on the ladies' side not named Williams that can win in straight sets these days?  She is just plowing through the draw, dispatching a very solid Na Li, 4 and 1.  She looks dominant, people.  Get ready for a Lena D. vs. Serena final.  That's where I see it shaking out right now.

Apart from Lena, the only other storyline on the ladies' side is how open JJ's draw is getting.  You'd think it couldn't get any easier, but then Mono Bartoli had to go and lose to 28 year old mom Sybille Bammer.  They didn't show the Bartoli match on USA, but apparently she was like a test monkey out there, calling the trainer, getting her blood pressure taken, rubbed down, and otherwise lollygagging between points.  Of course, that didn't stop her from bageling Mama Bammer in the second set (maybe Bammer's maternal instinct kicked in and she wanted to run to Rite Aid to get Mono some Pedialyte?).  So JJ gets Bammer next and then most likely Lena in the semis, unless Peppermint Patty can pull off the upset in the next round.  Doubtful.

Fed Lets Loose the Crazy Eyes. Reminds Everyone He Used to Be #1.

Cracks. Me. Up.  Look at those crazy eyes!  It doesn't even look like him.

Fed looked as strong as he's looked in a while, beating up Radek Stepanek 62 62 62.  Radek did not show up to play today.  I don't know what he was thinking with the lazy volleys to the middle of the court.  He didn't come close to showing his form from Monte Carlo where he beat Fed on clay.  As for Fed, he looked great and you could tell that he was extremely pleased with his performance.  The forehand was still a little wonky, but he is serving lights out right now.

Caro Skis Into a Brick Wall. A Very Dramatic Brick Wall.

Well it started swimmingly but in the in the end, Ski Boots just couldn't solve the Pong-like defense of our Drama Queen, losing 63, 26, 16.  All credit to JJ, who played her best match of the tournament.  She was moving well, served at a high percentage, and hit the ball with conviction.  All in all, she was more aggressive than Caro in the second half of the match and once JJ took it to her, Caro just didn't have any answers.  She's going to look back on the tape of this match and just kick herself for how she started the match so aggressively, stepping into her shots and dictating play, but ended so listlessly, playing defense and letting JJ yank her around. 

But a great tournament for Ski Boots.  A lot to be proud of here.  But as great as her year has been, she has yet to be able to solve the Serbs at the Slams.  Ana put her out of AO and RG, and JJ put her out of Wimbly and NYC.