I admit, I write in code. Partly because I'm lazy (you try typing out Anna Chakvetadze all the time), but more because I think it's fun and it's adds some spice to what would ordinarily be very staid, typical, boring prose. Because when you give someone a nickname it adds some familiarity to the "relationship". If I wanted to read "Maria Sharapova beat Svetlana Kuznetsova" I'd read the New York Times. But for as much as I follow the lives and careers of these players (which sounds oddly creepy when type it out), I do have a sense of familiarity with them. I can pretty much tell you where any of the top 10 men's and women's players are in the world at any given moment. I know their schedules, I know how many brothers and sisters they have, I know how they came to play tennis, etc. So it would actually feel more awkward if I used their actual names. I give nicknames to all my friends and I spend way less time with them than I do following tennis (again, that sounds really pathetic when I type it out).
But really it's because I'm lazy.
So here is, as Forty Deuce reader Dane wisely entitled it, the Rosetta Stone of Forty Deuce. I will update it as I come up with new nicknames, but I warn you, I tend to do that on the fly.
A-Bond -- nickname for Alona Bondarenko
A-Chak -- nickname for Anna Chakvetadze
A-Rad -- nickname for Agnieska Radwanska
A-Rod -- nickname for Andy Roddick
Agi -- common nickname for "Agnieska" in Polish; refers to Agnieska Radwanska
AI -- initials referring to Ana Ivanovic
Airon Woman -- nickname for Ai Sugiyama; refers to her record streak of Grand Slam appearances
Ajde -- Serbian for "Come on!"
AK-47 -- nickname for Alexandra Krunic; because she's short
Alla Kudrywhatever -- nickname for Alla Kudryavtseva, because I can't spell her last name from memory
AMG -- initials for Anabel Medina Garrigues
Ana's Avenger -- nickname for Dinara Safina; refers to Dinara's history of avenging Ana Ivanovic's losses or preventing other players from ascending to rankings higher than Ana's.
AnaFer -- nickname for the (former) romantic pairing of Ana Ivanovic and Fernando Verdasco
AnaScott -- nickname for the romantic pairing of Ana Ivanovic and Adam Scott; reference to Julia Roberts' character in Notting Hill
AO -- initials referring to the Australian Open
Apricot Bars -- nickname for Julien Benneteau; refers to his discussion of apricot energy bars on Tennis Channel
Baby Beluga -- nickname for Dinara Safina; Baby refers to her sibling status, Beluga is a type of Russian caviar
Baby Elephant -- nickname for Ana Ivanovic. For the story, click here."
Baby Koala -- nickname for Ana Ivanovic (temporarily used during January when the players are in Australia)
Baby Marat -- nickname for Evgeny Koralev, cousin of Anna Kournikova, who bears a striking resemblance to a young Marat.
Baby Owl -- nickname for Gilles Simon; started at TennisWorld and refers to the fact that he looks like an owl
Baby Panda -- nickname for Ana Ivanovic (temporarily used during the Beijing Olympics at the genius suggestion of Forty Deuce reader chuppachup)
Believe -- nickname for Melanie Oudin. Because she "believes".
Bepa -- cyrillic spelling of Vera; refers to Vera Zvonereva
Besties -- see "BFFs"
Betsy Johnson -- nickname for Bethanie Mattek; refers to her crazy on-court fashions
BFFs -- nickname for Ana Ivanovic and Dinara Safina; somewhere along the way I have become convinced that these two need to be best friends
Big Berd -- nickname for Tomas Berdych; uhh...he's tall.
Blah -- nickname for James Blake; refers to the fact that he's immensely boring
Bluber -- nickname for the doubles team of Cara Black and Liezel Huber
Boom Boom -- nickname for Sabine Lisicki; refers to her huge serve and a reference to fellow German, Boris "Boom Boom" Becker.
Boyfriend -- nickname for Jon Wertheim, the tennis reporter for Sports Illustrated, who I totally have a crush on.
BryBros -- nickname for The Bryan Brothers
Bunny Ranch -- nickname for the Adidas Player Development Program; refers to the fac that they all seem to be hooking up (not really, but kinda)
Burrito -- nickname for Michelle Larcher de Brito; mainly because it's easier to type out
Caro -- common nickname for "Caroline" in Danish; refers to Caroline Wozniaki
CanWoz -- nickname for Aleksandra Wozniak; coined by Brodie and refers to her being, you know, Canadian
Carline -- nickname for Justine Henin, fusion of Carlos and Justine
Casper -- nickname for Vera Zvonereva; refers to her habit of putting a towel over her head during changeovers
Chakky -- nickname for Anna Chakvetadze
Chevy Nova -- nickname for Anastasia Pavyluchenkova; FDer mkeller came up it with at IW 2009 when we couldn't keep yelling her name
Chicken Legs -- nickname for Gilles Simon; refers to his skinny but bionic legs
Chuck -- nickname for Carlos Moya; Carlos --> Charles --> Chuck
Coconut, Coco -- nickname for Dinara Safina; refers to the infamous "Coconut Incident".
Colin Farrell Kiefer -- nickname for Nicholas Kiefer; refers the fact that he looks like Colin Farrell
Commodus -- nickname for Gilles Simon; refers to Joaquin Phoenix's character in Gladiator and Gilly's resemblance to Joaquin
The Cone -- nickname for Alize Cornet; a play off the similarity of her last name and Cornetto ice cream cones
Consumption -- nickname for Igor Kunitsyn; I mean, have you seen him?
Cornetto -- see The Cone
Crazy Elf, Elf -- nickname for Juan Martin del Potro; refers to the fact that he has elfish features; first used by TennisWorld commenters.
Crazy Eyez Fed -- nickname for Roger Federer; refers to his sudden outburst of emotion during the 2008 US Open
CrazySexyLostHisCool -- nickname for Marat Safin
Crazy Train -- nickname for Juan Martin del Potro; refers to these pictures that make him look like Ozzy Osbourne; "Crazy Train" is a song by Black Sabbath.
Crockett and Tubbs -- nickname for the doubles team of Fernando Verdasco and Feliciano Lopez; because Fernando is greasy and Feli is fat
CSN -- initials for Carla Suarez Navarro
Dani -- nickname for Daniela Hantuchova
Davai -- Russian for "Let's go"
The Demented One -- nickname for Elena Dementieva; refers to the fact that she's a headcase
Dick in a Box -- FORMERLY the nickname for Fernando Verdasco; because he's dating Ana, kinda seems like a tool, and looks like a guy who would trick you into having sex with him. Not that he'd need to mind you (dude is HOT) but he'd trick you anyway. UPDATED -- I've changed my mind. He's adorable and seems like a genuinely nice guy. Don't prove me wrong again, Nando.
Dina -- nickname for "Dinara" in Russian; refers to Dinara Safina
Dima -- nickname for "Dimitri" in Russian; refers to Dimitry Tursonov
Disco Tommy -- nickname for Tommy Robredo; refers to Tommy's longish locks, which he has since cut (boo!)
Domi -- nickname for Dominika Cibulkova
Douchebag Chuck, DB Chuck -- nickname for Carlos Moya; refers to him cheating on Flavia Pennetta
DoucheStamp -- nickname for Juergen Melzer; refers to the tattoo he has on his upper back
Dr. Ivo -- nickname for Ivo Karlovic
Drama Queen -- nickname for Jelena Jankovic; refers to her admitted penchant for adding drama to...everything
Eh? Nah. -- nickname for Justine Henin; I just don't like her game
The Evil One -- nickname for Robin Soderling; refers to the fact that I just think he's evil and kind of an asshole
Falcon -- nickname for Novak Djokovic; refers to his Adidas logo and his reference to his falcon-like abilities
Fer -- nickname for Fernando Verdasco
FeVer -- nickname for Fernando Verdasco; don't look at me like that, he gave it to himself.
Fiona -- nickname for Kim Clijsters; refers to, well, come on...
Flava Flav -- nickname for Flavia Pennetta
Forecep -- nickname for Sam Stosur's right arm.
Fosters Dellaqua -- nickname for Casey Dellaqua, who is Australian; refers to Fosters, "It's Australian for beer"
This Fucker -- nickname for Robin Soderling; refers to the fact that I despise him with the fire of a thousand suns.
Gael Force One -- nickname for Gael Monfils; refers to his tendency to leap and a reference to the name of the mascot at St. Mary's College in Moraga
General Sod -- nickname for Robin Soderling; refers to General Zod, the evil villain in Superman II
Ghost -- nickname for Daniela Hantuchova; refers to her nickname Hantu, which means "ghost" in Indonesian
Gilly -- nickname for Gilles Simon
Glitter Queen/Train -- nickname for Jelena Jankovic; refers to her use of body glitter during the 2008 US Open
Gonzo -- nickname for Fernando Gonzalez
Goth Bols -- nickname for Simon Bolelli; refers to Forty Deuce reader vetmama's suggestion that he would be a goth kid in high school
The Gypsy -- nickname for Virginie Razzano; coined by Herbolator and refers to the extensive gypsy qualities that he made up in his head
The Hammer of Thor, Hammer -- nickname for Samantha Stosur; have you seen her arm?
Headbandian -- nickname for David Nalbandian; refers to his propensity for headbands
Indigo Girls -- nickname for the doubles pairing of Nadia Petrova and Bethanie Mattek-Sands; because they're the best lesbian (not really) couple ever
Jay Z -- nickname for Zheng Jie
JCF -- initials referring to Juan Carlos Ferrero
JJ -- initials referring to Jelena Jankovic
Jo -- nickname for Jo Wilfried Tsonga
JMDP -- initials referring to Juan Martin del Potro
Juanaco -- nickname for Juan Monaco
Julie @#$%ing Coin -- nickname for Julie Coin; refers to Ana's loss to her in the second round of the 2008 USO
Kleybs -- nickname for Alisa Kleybanova
Kolya -- common nickname for "Nikolay" in Russian; refers to Nikolay Davydenko
Kuz, Kuzzy -- nicknames for Svetlana Kuznetsova
L-Rob -- nickname for Laura Robson
LaMonf -- nickname for Gael Monfils
Latisha -- nickname for Anastasia Pavyluchenkova; Matt Cronin reported this was her nickname. So many questions, not enough answers.
Legs McGillicuddy -- nickname for Milos Raonic; have you seen his legs?
Lena D. -- nickname for Elena Dementieva
Lubey -- nickname for Ivan Ljubicic
MaKiri -- nickname for Maria Kirilenko
Masha -- common nickname for "Maria" in Russian; refers to Maria Sharapova
MGMT -- nickname for Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez; refers to the indie band MGMT, who have moments of brilliance, but generally suck.
TMF -- abbreviation for The Mighty Fed, a nickname given to Roger Federer on TennisWorld during his ridiculous four year dominance of men's tennis.
Mama Vera -- nickname for Elena Dementieva's mom, Vera
Midge -- nickname for Justine Henin, short for "Midget"
Misha -- common nickname for "Mikhail" in Russian; refers to Mikhail Youzney
MJ -- nickname for Mary Joe Fernandez
Mono Bartoli, Mono -- nickname for Marion Bartoli; refers to her love of Roger Federer and her insistance that she had mono in early 2008
Momo, Momes -- nickname for Amelie Mauresmo
Mr. Potito Head -- nickname for Potito Starace
Muzza/Muzz/Muzzard -- nickname for Andy Murray
Moose -- nickname for Andy Murray
Nads -- nickname for Nadia Petrova; refers to the fact that she kinda looks like a drag queen sometimes
Navs -- nickname for Martina Navritalova
Nails -- nickname for Na Li; refers to the fact that she's gritty, a fighter, and I hate seeing her in the same part of the draw as my faves
Nanadoo -- nickname for the potential coupling of Ana Ivanovic and Fernando Verdasco
Nikki V. -- nickname for Nicole Vaidisova
Nole -- common nickname for "Novak" in Serbian; refers to Novak Djokovic
Old Man Schuettler -- nickname for Rainer Schuettler; refers to the fact that he looks like an old man
Pammy -- nickname for Pam Shriver
Pastry -- nickname for anyone French
Pavs -- nickname for Anastasia Pavyluchenkova
Peacemaker -- nickname for Vera Zvonareva; refers to her grad studies in international relations
PEHK -- initials for Phillip Kohlschreiber
Peppermint Patty -- nickname for Patty Schnyder
Picasso -- nickname for Agi Radwanska; refers to her mad artistic skills.
Pico -- nickname for Juan Monaco
Pimmy -- nickname for Pam Shriver; refers to our speculation that she's always drunk at Wimbledon
Pinky -- nickname for Dinara Safina; refers to her awesomely pink "Impossible Is Nothing" shirt, which she has worn for well over a year now.
Pinky and the Brain -- nickname for Dinara Safina and her coach, Zeljko Krajan
Pova -- nickname for Maria Sharapova
PHM -- initials referring to French cutie Paul Henri Mattieu
Project 45 -- nickname for Kei Nishikori; given to him at the Bollitieri academy because if he gets ranked at #45 he will become the highest ranked Japanese player ever on the ATP tour.
Querrey California -- nickname for Sam Querrey; refers to his California heritage and a play off the Red Hot Chili Peppers song, "Dani California"
Reeeshard -- nickname for Richard Gasquet; refers to how his name is pronounced in French
ReRe -- nickname for Serena Williams
RG -- initials for Roland Garros
Robbie -- nickname for Laura Robson
Sammy Stones -- nickname for Sam Stosur; refers to her rock hard physique
Scherbatsky -- nickname for Rebecca Marino; because she's Canadian, has brown hair, and is kind of awesome. Just like Robin Scherbatsky.
The Sex -- nickname for Radek Stepanek; because he's ugly as hell but he gets the ladies
Shazza, Shazz -- nickname for Maria Sharapova; given to her by the Brits (I believe)
Sheldon -- nickname for Carla Suarez Navarro; coined by Victoria in reference to Rachel Dratch's character in Wake Up Wakefield
Ski Boots -- nickname for Caroline Wozniaki; refers to the fact that her black ankle braces make her look like she's wearing ski boots
Slammin Sammy -- nickname for Sam Stosur; refers to her huge serve
Sneki, Sneks -- nickname for Snezana Jankovic, JJ's mom
Snot Rocket -- nickname for Jelena Dokic; refers to the sound she makes when she hits the ball, which sounds like a snot rocket
The Sockless Wonder -- nickname for Mardy Fish; refers to his idiotic "no sock" look
Special Kei -- nickname for Kei Nishikori; refers to Special K cereal
Stan the Man, Stanley the Manley, Stanley -- nicknames for Stanislas Wawrinka
Steps -- nickname for Radek Stepanek
Stubbsy -- nickname for Rennae Stubbs
SuperGirl -- nickname for Daniela Hantuchova; refers to the fact that she looked like Supergirl in her Slovakian Olympics uniform
Sveta -- common nickname for "Svetlana" in Russian; refers to Svetlana Kuznetsova
SW19 -- nickname for Wimbledon; SW19 is the postal code for the All England Club
Tabasco -- nickname for Fernando Verdasco; refers to the fact that he's hot!
Tammy -- nickname for Tamarine Tanasugarn
Tati -- nickname for Tatiana Golovin
TechnoKing -- nickname for Philip Kohlschreiber; refers to his techo-fabulous website
Tipsy -- nickname for Janko Tipsarevic
Touchdown Tammy -- nickname for Tammy Tanasugarn; reference to Touchdown Tommy Vardell, former Stanford running back
Tranny -- nickname for Francesca Schiavone; because she looks like one to me. Mean, I know, but I can't help it. (UPDATE -- Has been since disavowed for years. Embarassed and ashamed I even used it the first place. But I did. Can't run away from it now.)
Tubbs -- nickname for Feliciano Lopez; because he doesn't diet and other players poke fun at him
Tuxedo Mask -- nickname for Marin Cilic; refers to his uncanny resemblance to Tuxedo Mask, a character from the Japanese anime series, Sailor Moon.
Vee -- nickname for Venus Williams
Vezzie, Vez -- nickname for Elena Vesnina
Vika -- common nickname for Victoria in Russian; refers to Victoria Azarenka
Viko -- nickname for Victoria Azarenka; used when I'm particularly annoyed with her because it sounds meaner than Vika.
YEC -- refers to the Sony Ericcson Year End Championships
Z -- nickname for Zeljko Krajan, Dinara Safina's coach