Forty Deuce

Pic This: I Guess Sveta Read JJ's Blog Post, Too

"She know I'm here, right?"

"She does?"

This is in the dictionary next to "LOLZ."

Well Played, Tarpi.

On the heels of JJ announcing that she may not be fit for Fed Cup, Tarpi announces that Sveta's in for Russia. 

Augh.

Caroline Wozniacki, World #1

It's possible.  According to Stephanie Myles, here are the WTA #1 scenarios:

• If Serena gets to the final she's #1
• Sveta and Boots have to win it all and Serena would have to lose before the round of 16
• Dina has to reach the final, Serena has to lose before the quarterfinal, and Boots can't win it.  She can also get to #1 by winning the whole shebang and Serena doesn't make the final.

Almost as nutty as the possibility for Nole to walk out of Melbourne at #1.  Wacky times, people.  Wacky times.

While Trying To Avoid Watching Igor Self-Destuct...

  

I played around with the Jersey Shore Nickname Generator.  

• Roger: The Prince of Paramus
• Rafa: Orange Juice
• Nole: The Tricep
• Muzz: A-Train
• A-Rod: Snickers
• Kolya: Juice Springsteen
• Jo: J-Tan
• Fernando: DJ Douchebag
• Marat: The Hands Team
• Serena: The Ashley Simpson of Cape May
• Dina: Pookie
• Masha: The Rack
• Flavs: The Back End
• Sveta: The Tantrum

That was fun.  I'm totally using Juice Springsteen from now on.

Pic This: AO Day 1

And so the Slam season begins under a cloud of showers, upsets, and...well, a third thing that would appropriately complete that sentence.

Dina kicked it off as the first player into the second round.  Apparently she didn't play that great, though I think a 64 64 win over a Rybarikova, a player who won tourneys last year, ain't bad. 

Also she looks great, so...sure, why not?

 

Aw, what a cute ball boy.

I'm not looking forward to watching Justine matches in HD. 

The sores.  My GOD the sores.

"Hey, you."

Oh, Chakky.  Why do the tennis gods hate you so much?

Well that would explain why you look like idiots.*

 

No no no, Sveta.  The exo is over.  Please start playing actual matches.

Halt.  Hammerzeit.

 

Wait...which one is nicknamed "Elf"?

Mmmmmovingrightalong.

Heh.  Never gets old.

Even seagulls like a good magic show.

Awes.

Only someone on PED could jump that high.

Kidding.

GO AWAY.

Psst. Sveta. It's Called, "Pleading the Fifth".

Or whatever the Australian equivalent of the right against self-incrimination is.  Y'all have that down there, right?  

So someone asked Sveta today about Elena Bychkova's gambling suspension, and her reaction was completely bizarre.  

First, she was surprised, and sounded defensive about Bychkova...

  "'For me, when they told me, I was really surprised,' Kuznetsova said.
   'Myself, I had never heard of the rule that you have to report it. I
   don't know exactly the thing going on with her, and definitely I will ask
   and go deeper into the subject because I think it's very important. If
   people come to me and ask something, I say no - I didn't know I had to
   go [and report the approach]. Maybe she didn't know either, so how can
   we say she is guilty?'"

Then she said she wasn't defending her...

  "'I have no idea if she's guilty, this is what I am saying,'' Kuznetsova said.
   'I don't want to defend her because I don't know the topic.'"

Then, of course, she was asked if she had ever been approached to fix a match and her answer was, erm, less than clearly convincing:

  "'Asked if she'd been approached, Kuznetsova offered a less than emphatic
   denial. 'Well, you know, if I say yes, they are going to send me home,' she
   said."

Ummmmmmmmmmm.  Where's that lawyer Yanina used to get her out of the drug suspension?  Sveta might want her card.

That said, Sveta followed that up with a good point about the athletes needing to understand not just the rule about reporting approaches, but also what actually constitutes an approach:

  "Approaches can be different. You can think it's a joke but maybe
   somebody else thinks it can be for real. You might not get if it's an
   approach or not. Do I have to go and tell WTA every joke I get about
   approach? You never know. I think we just need a better explanation
   about that."

The WTA, of course, of course, claims that the athletes have all the information they need:

  "WTA vice-president Andrew Walker said players had been educated
   about corruption in the sport and the association's zero-tolerance policy
   towards it...

  "'The Tour has a comprehensive program in place that included in-person
   education where the Tennis Integrity Program rules were reviewed,
   including affirmative obligations on players such as the requirement to
   report approaches.'"

This is part of a definite pattern of the WTA claiming that it educates its players perfectly well about the rules when it comes to important matters (Roadmap, match-fixing) and the players clearly exhibiting that they have no idea what's going on.  You'll have to forgive me if-- having grown up in close proximity to powerful sports federations-- I always side with the athletes when it comes to these things.  I've seen governing bodies fail to properly inform athletes of major requirements, then punish them for not acting correctly, one too many times.

That said, Sveta may want to read up on that self-incrimination thing.  It can come in really handy.

Pic This: It Just Goes to Show, Money Can't Buy Taste

The Sydney player's party was today, or last night, or possibly three nights from now; I don't know, that time difference is starting to fuck with my mind.

Anyway, a lot of people were there, and most of them looked incredibly special.  

First, I think Lacoste needs to rethink their sizing.  Second, Sam, I'm not saying it's a requirement, I'm just saying... a little effort in the hair and makeup department wouldn't kill you.

Dy-no-MITE!

Virginie apparently came straight from an archeological dig.

I don't have the first fucking clue what's going on here.


Intriguing.  Where, exactly, would one even go about buying those jeans?  Or were they a crafts project she and Dinara worked on in the hotel?

A glitter-free halter jumpsuit.  Well, now I just think I'm being Punk'd.


I think I had a very similar outfit to this the summer I was 12.  Is 1990 back?


Is he auditioning to be the dweeby poor kid in a second edition of Laguna Beach?


Someone's girlfriend needs to do a better job of hiding the hair gel.

So many possible snarks.  Most of which involve the possible proximity of Ernests Gulbis.


Annnnnd... scene.

January 6. How Many Times Do They Have To Tell You?

I mean, really. How many of these "What will you do for Christmas" pieces have we seen? And anytime they ask a Russian player they get the same answer. "We'll be playing tennis, asshole."

"Pack A Day" JJ Is Her Name

Gotta love JJ's answer.

Pic This: One More for the Road...

It wouldn't be the end of the WTA season without one more chance to laugh at people for being completely incapable of dressing themselves.  Some of them are getting distressingly (read: boringly) good at it, but you know there'll always be one WTFer in the group.  Or two, or three.

A lot of things about this frighten me.  Mainly that, with the faces upside down, it looks like she's wearing a minidress with a Marilyn Manson print.  Also, the eyes.  Freaky.

 

This looks kind of like a bridesmaid's dress I had to wear once, if you cut the skirt off about three and a half feet from the bottom.

[snicker]

Oh dear.  Someone needs to introduce Bepa to these.

I'm not gonna lie: something about the geranium over her ladybits weirds me out.

I need to know what Lena did that they decided she needed a mug shot.

I totally picture Dinara's closet having a "little black dress" section and a "big pink t-shirt" section and... that's it.

LOLZ.

Dig in, Caro.

But really, learn to cross your legs when you're sitting in a dress, honey.  Your wantonness is making Dina sad.  (Then again, what doesn't?)

Stubbsy!  Oy, Ula, we'll talk later.

And, for the creme de la creme, cherry on the sundae, there is the video.  I watched it like 18 times.  Don't make me start liking you, girls.  You know who you are.

Oh, Sveta. You Funny.

I mean, at least she's now 3-12 for her career in YECs.  So, yay!

But seriously, did she have to win today?  Her win catapulted Venus into the semis, whereas a loss would have put countrywoman Lena D into the semis.  Did Sveta take sides?  Yeah, based on this quote, I'm thinking no:

“I asked Venus before the game, ‘Will you give me something if I win?”’ Kuznetsova said. “She was like, ‘If you win, it’s good for yourself.’ I say, ‘OK, whatever.”’

Come on, Venus.  At least give her an Eleven sponsorship or something.

Stayin' Alive

With her tight three set win over Sveta, Venus still has a chance to qualify for the semis, depending on what happens in the Elena/Sveta match.  If Elena wins then she'll move on.  If Sveta wins, Venus moves on. 

Air Quotes: Three!

"You can tell how much we care about our sport and how passionate we are.  We didn't care who was there, whether it was one person or two."

-- Sveta, on the empty stands in Doha

Well Look Who Came To Play

Serena scored a very solid 76 75 win over Sveta, saving numerous set points and generally playing from behind for most of the match.  This match was a good barometer for where Serena's head is at, as she had a number of opportunities to just let up a little bit and lose the match.  But she remained focused and intense and she really made Sveta work for it.  And in the end, Sveta reminded us that she's Russian.  So she did what Russians do.

And so Serena plays Venus tomorrow (er...today) in a must-win match for Venus.  We'll see how Serena recovers.  She's got tape for her left knee and she rolled her right ankle in the first set tiebreak today.  Sveta gets a day off and will play Lena (I think) on Thursday.

"Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do..."

There is nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that I don't love about these pics.

The culturally appropriate paparazzo and Dina's inability to fill her dress.

Sveta's Blue Steel.

And how good Sveta looks.  Seriously, look at her!  Air five, left side of Sveta's face!

Where The Wild Things Are

So here we are.  I can't tell if I'm excited for Doha or excited for the season to be over.

That's a lie.  It's the latter.

But it does give us one last chance to get some giggles in as the ladies glam up and strut.

"We're running with the shadows of the night
So baby take my hand, it'll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

You know, or not.

"If you can see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along
why can't you seeeeeee, you belong with meeeeeee."

Pretty dress.  But I like my JJ flatironed, thank you very much.

Damn, girl.  I can't even snark on this.

"Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama."

 
"Can you hear me now?  Bet on the *other* girl."

Ok, first, you look great.  Really. 

Second, I will punch you in the face. 

Third, wear a push up bra if you want to get some heft in your chest, not a crooked bow. 

First look at the mirror today, ReRe? 

Looks like the girls did a number on you in your sleep during WTA Sleepover 09. 

Word of advice?  Never go to sleep before Sveta.  Never.

Sunday Wrap-Up: Lazy Guest Blogging (WTA Edition)

Only one of these, right?  Thank God.

How bizarre is it that going into this year, Sveta hadn't won a singles title in over two years, and now she's won 3 (fairly major) ones?  She's awesome.  Good for Aga, too.  Two weeks ago, she hadn't been past a quarterfinal all year; now she's got semis in Tokyo, the final in Beijing, and is back in the top 10 (sadness, Flava Flav).  She's also seemingly back in the hunt for Doha.  Jesus.

Beijing: Kuznetsova d. A. Radwanska 6-2, 6-4

 

Speaking of punch bowls, the pictures of this trophy ceremony are amazing.  You can't convince me they're not already planning for the rest of the day.

 

"I'm going to shove this fucking tennis ball down your fucking throat, I swear to God.  Haha, seriously, do you know where the liquor store is?"

I don't know what that is, and I don't care.  She's the bomb.

Huh. Ok.

Nice to see you're so excited about making your second straight semifinal by beating Lena, Agi.  Don't ever change.  Kuz cruised over Pavs in straight sets, setting up a fantastically headcasey semifinal against...

The Serena Slayer.  Big ups to Nads, who followed up her win over Serena with a three set win over Bollitieri Beater Shuai Peng.  Peng took the first set in a tiebreaker and was playing really well until she hurt her left leg.  From there is was just a matter of time before Nads ran away with it, though seriously, she was still Nadsy about it.  Headcases forever!

And in the "Wha happen???" story of the day, Mono somehow rallied from 63 51 down to win over Bepa.  What. The. Fuck. Vera.  She only won 7 points in the second set after leading 5-1.

Russian Rule

Other thank Peng's win over Pova, the Russians ruled the roost today with Lena, Sveta, and Pavs all coming through.

Singles - Third Round
(4) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. (16) Li Na (CHN) 62 60
(6) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 63 46 60
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 64 64
Peng Shuai (CHN) d. Maria Sharapova (RUS) 62 64

Doubles - Quarterfinals
Yan/Zheng (CHN/CHN) d. (6) Groenefeld/Schnyder (GER/SUI) 46 60 105

Doubles - Second Round
(4) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Grandin/Kops-Jones (RSA/USA) 16 75 106
(5) Hsieh/Peng (TPE/CHN) d. Errani/Pennetta (ITA/ITA) 62 75
Kleybanova/Schiavone (RUS/ITA) d. Bondarenko/Bondarenko (UKR/UKR) 76(4) 62

Pavs' reward?  Pizza: 

 

Man, the WTA is really hell bent on keeping the chub on the kid. 

Also, who knew Papa Johns was in China?

(no really, that's a publicity event for Papa Johns.  Wha?)

Double The Crazy, Double The Fun

Dina and Kuz are teaming up in Bejing and they won their first match 60 60.

And trust.  They are bringing both the badassery...

 

...and the soft lips.

Together they're unbeatable.  At least as of today.  Sveta beat Jay-Z in straights and Dina actually won a match.  Bring on the revolution!

Pic This: Around Beijing

Big Sasha!

Sigh....

Here's the thing.  For the longest time all the stories coming out about Ivo were about how fucking shy he was.  Yet all that I can remember of him for the past year is booty slapping dances, explicit rapping, and pics like this.  Shy people don't do that shit, yo.

 

Love her.

 

Pinky.

 

In Mother Russia, pink wears you.

Pic This: Hey! You! No panhandling! Get out of here!

UPDATED: Overqualified.

I was in D.C. all weekend without any internet access.  And let's just say I'm not entirely sad about that.  Glad to see I missed the carnage:

(Q) Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) d. (1/WC) Dinara Safina (RUS) 76(5) 46 75


(Q) Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 75 46 63

(Q) Katareyna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 62 67 61

(Q) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. (2) Venus Williams (USA) 76(6) 75

Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. (6) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 36 64 62

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (9) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62

Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (10) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) 64 76(1)

Also, Rybarakova just beat Nads and Maria's on her way to bagel and 'sticking Sam.  And we know how Sam feels about 'sticking.  Not a fan, methinks.

So it's absolute Bedlam in Tokyo as the top seeds are falling left and right in the first two rounds (as of this post, JJ, A-Rad, and Caro still have to play their 2R matches).

[UPDATE: Caro retires down 05 to CanWoz. So the top 6 seeds are out after their first matches.]

I don't have much to say quite yet.  I need some time to process it all.  But I have a feeling Billy Shakes was a WTA fan back in the day:

She should have died hereafter ;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time ;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Last American Hero

Well holy shit.

 

Four matches, four Russians.  And if Caro didn't go ahead and bounce Kuz, Mel would have had a chance to scalp  fifth.  The funny thing about this match is that even though Nads took the first 61, you just kind of knew this kid wasn't going out like that.  And sure enough, once she regrouped and was able to pressure Nads and get the crowd into the match, Nads went all Nadsy and we had ourselves a match.

 

Poor Nads.  There was no reason she should have lost this match.  Then again, there's no reason she should have won it either.  The Russian headcasiness continues.  As much as these matches have been won with The Kid's tennis skills, even more so it's been her competitiveness that seal the deal.  She's able to put just enough pressure on them to get those doubts flowing.  Serious props to her.

 

So The Kid will play The Boots for a shot at the USO semis, and really, a REAAAAALLY good shot at the USO finals.  Boots came back from dropping the first set to battle Kuz to a 46 76 76 win.  More importantly she has torpedoed anymore Stella McCartney jokes.  I can honestly say I'm sadder about the latter.

So with Wickmayer and K-Bond making up the other quarterfinal in this half (yes, you read that right), we have ZERO Russians or Serbs in the quarters of a Slam. 

What.  Happened.

"I Wanna Rock With You, All Night..."

Aww...Tax does her best Michael Jackson impression.

 

Ooga Chakka Ooga Chakka Ooga Chakka...

 

Focus on your tennis and stop practicing making out with your girlfriend, Tomas.

 

You know what, dude?  You deserve to lose if you're going to wear those sunglasses.

The Return of The Mack

I guess Sunday was a day for reemergence.  Nole popped up out of nowhere and so did Dejan.  I so confused.  But it seemed to put Team Pinky in a darn good mood.

 

Girl, give those bike shorts back to Lena.  They do not work.  Ever.  Even Z looks confused.

 

Man.  Sveta *really* likes those shorts from the company that no longer sponsors her, huh?

Sven is looking particularly adorable in New York.  Hair cut?  Weight loss?  Ditching the uncomforably bright Adidas tops?  Who knows.  But as Sodapop wrote, "Sven and the camera are BFFs."  Indeed.

And before I forget:  SQUEE!!!!  Sania!

 

And look who else is back!  Richie Rich hit the courts for a hit, though it looks like he and Pamela had a rockin' wet t-shirt party right before.  Some never learn.  

And the rest of the French buffet.  

(Pics courtesy of Sodapop)

Yeah, I Don't Know What To Tell You, Sveta

Sveta had a 4-1 lead on Momo in the first set and somehow lost the set 76(9) in a 20 point tiebreak.  From there the two buddies duked it out until Momo won the third set 63.  So basically what we've learned from this match is that Sveta heads into the Open as headcasey as ever.

In the men's night quarterfinal, Chucho took out Serra, 75 64.

So tomorrow's OOP:

 

Grinders

Apparently beating Yanina Wickmayer in three sets inspires these types of celebrations. 

Who knew?

 
Boots had an easy win, which is nice.  Unfortunately it came at the expense of The Butterfly. 

Rest in Peace, Chevy.  See you in New York.

And with great sadness I am forced to report that Sammy Stones lost to Vezzie in three sets.  But in happy news, ELENA VESNINA beat Sam Stosur in three sets!  Oh, tennis.  How you torture me.

For all you folks who do the bracket challenges for the Slams, take note that A-Rad and Mono both retired with injuries.  Ruh roh.

Singles – Second Round
(1/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. (Q) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) 64 57 76(2)
(2) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 61 64
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Iveta Benesova (CZE) 76(1) 64
Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (5) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 36 64 ret. (right hand injury)
(Q) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (6) Marion Bartoli (FRA) 16 76(5) 20 ret. (left adductor strain)
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (9) Samantha Stosur (AUS) 36 63 64

Doubles – Quarterfinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Senoglu/Shvedova (TUR/KAZ) 62 61
(3) Craybas/Raymond (USA/USA) d. Borwell/Kops-Jones (GBR/USA) 63 62
(4) Bondarenko/Bondarenko (UKR/UKR) d. Cornet/Gallovits (FRA/ROU) 63 75

Do They Make "Win" Badges?

Because let's face it, between the camo capris, Ed Hardy-esque shirt, oversized headphones, sock tan, and flops, that's what Kuz is.  Win. 

The sad thing is that these poor little girls don't even know that they are standing in close proximity to Radness personified.  

Phew.

It's never easy drawing Jay Z in the first round of a tournament.  But Kuz was able to hold her nerve (kinda) and win in three.  

Singles - First Round
(1/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. Zheng Jie (CHN) 61 67(5) 64
(5) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Roberta Vinci (ITA) 26 62 76(5)
(8) Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 64 61
Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. Patty Schnyder (SUI) 63 36 63
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 76(6) 62
Iveta Benesova (CZE) d. (LL) Varvara Lepchenko (USA) 46 62 61
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 63 63
(Q) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. Francesca Schiavone (ITA) 64 64
(Q) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 36 61 64

Doubles - First Round
Dekmeijere/U.Radwanska (LAT/POL) d. (2) Chuang/Yan (TPE/CHN) 75 46 108
(4) Bondarenko/Bondarenko (UKR/UKR) d. Garbin/Medina Garrigues (ITA/ESP) 62 36 107
Borwell/Kops-Jones (GBR/USA) d. Niculescu/Olaru (ROU/ROU) 62 36 108

As for the boys, it was biz as yoosh.  Sad to see Marco lose early, though.

Singles - Second Round
[6] S Querrey (USA) d M Gicquel (FRA) 64 67(3) 62

Singles - First Round
S Bolelli (ITA) d C Rochus (BEL) 63 64 
P Starace (ITA) d M Zverev (GER) 63 26 63
[Q] P Cuevas (URU) d A Golubev (KAZ) 63 64
K Kim (USA) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 64 57 63 
B Phau (GER) d B Becker (GER) 26 62 63
R Kendrick (USA) d [Q] F Nielsen (DEN) 63 75
[Q] F Gil (POR) d [WC] M Baghdatis (CYP) 64 63
Y Lu (TPE) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 62 62
J Acasuso (ARG) d M Gonzalez (ARG) 61 67(7) 62
[WC] R Ram (USA) d [Q] N Lapentti (ECU) 75 16 76(3)

Doubles - First Round
C Kas (GER) / P Petzschner (GER) d [1] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) 75 63
J Chardy (FRA) / F Santoro (FRA) d T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) 64 36 10-7

Pic This: Oh Right, I Do Own a Camera

[C Note's Note: As those of you who actually listen to the FD Podcast know, Carrie and Sodapop (and Brodie) are in Toronto for the Rogers Cup for most of the week.  Carrie and Pop will be posting remotely when they're not too busy downing Coronas, fruity liquor, and doing commentary of every single Dina/Z interaction they can get their eyes on.]

And I did have batteries in it yesterday. Unlike Sodapop.  

The black onesie in action... almost losing to a Canadian I'd literally never heard of.

Awesome personified.

Also, we have Ace, the Tennis Canada mascot.  Sodapop has a thing about people in costumes, and it doesn't help that this thing keeps popping up all over the place.  Okay, it's probably also not helpful that I keep taking pictures of it and snickering at her being creeped out.  It is a little weird, though:

Ace watching Amelie/Sveta.

Ace surveying Sammie/Sveta from on high.

Okay, so he maybe is actually the stuff of horror movies.

We have a zillion pictures and some movies from today, but it's late and our connection is slow, so... hasta manana, todos.  

All Headcase Hour

 

The top ladies looked lovely (well, most of them) for their SEWTA Tour All Access Hour appearances.  I haven't heard any reports of anyone leaving in tears so it sounds like a success.


Girl, you might want to get those nails checked out. I think you might be going into kidney failure.


The face of peace.  Well, not in her head, but you know, in the world.  Generally.


"How many times I have to say?  I didn't make the rankings."


"Will you please excuse me?  I have to go change.  Be right back."


This pic looks straight out of the 80's. 


Good Lord, JJ.  For all the money you've spent on "deviated septums" and whatnot, shell out a few bucks for those eye bags, woman.


I love Venus.  Always the face of calm.  And after being subjected to Serena on Twitter for two months now, I can see why Venus had to develop her Zen skills ASAP.


"I didn't make it.  I just go and I play and the ranking is what it is.  Why you all not listening?  Vera!  Vera!  Talk to them.  I go to room now to play with coconut."

Air Quotes: Hee. Sveta.

Q. What will you do now? Stay here for a few days or go straight to Toronto?
SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Is there time distance between here in Toronto?

Q. No.
SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: How far is the flight? You ask me questions, can I ask you questions? How far is the flight, two hours?

Q. Hour and a half.
SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Maybe I go after tomorrow. I was looking to this water park and this adventure, so maybe I go to check it out so I can have a little bit of a distraction.

Pic This: Peekaboo

"He's Such a Copycat."

A few of you have written inquiring as to when the next installment of the Forty Deuce podcast would be up.  Here's the deal: It is SUPER awkward to do a podcast by yourself.  And with my partner in crime (heh), Love All, off at an undisclosed location for much of this year, I've had to shelve the podcasts.  Unfortunately my dog has very little to say about tennis.

But you can't say that I don't listen so here's the next installment, wherein I've roped in Forty Deuce regulars Sodapop, Carrie, and Victoria, to talk about everything from my general apathy towards Ana's losses, illegal immigration, and Stan's second fiddle, to how badly the WTA marketing department has failed, our love for tennis umpires, and the intimate details contained in Sodapop's diary.  You'll have to excuse any technical issues.  I'm still trying to master it all.  But I'll get it all worked out and I can promise your tech savvy and topically focused p-casts in the future.

I'm warning you, it's a long one and very WTA heavy.  Perfect for sitting in traffic while you're on your way to wherever you don't want to be.

Download Here.

"My Foot Hurts, Can I Go To The Nurse?"

How have I never seen this pic of Sveta?

Anyway, we have our first official newsworthy withdrawal from the USO Series.  Sveta has pulled out of LA with a foot injury.  Hope it's not serious.

Cars, Real Estate, and Jewels

I don't know why but all I can imagine Venus driving now is an El Camino. Also, I think it's a travesty that Agi isn't in these videos. I would love to hear her scoff at the idea of extravagance.

"When you were a baby, the Gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt."

Looks like we have a new German "Boom Boom" on our hands. 

That serve is going to get you far, kid.  First stop, dumping out the French Open champ on her birthday in straight sets, 62 75.  She'll face good buddy Ski Boots on Monday.  The last time they met was Charleston, where Sabine took her out in straights.   Should be a good one.

As for Kuz, the letdown was expected, though her inability to figure out Sabine's game was rather surprising.  She just wasn't moving her feet to get around the ball, leaving it short or just missing altogether.  This win shouldn't have been this easy.

After the match Boom Boom got a little emotional.  Understandably so.


 
This is the first time she's ever been through to a second week at a Slam. 

Air Quotes: How Great Is Sveta?

Q. What have you been up to since Paris?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: You know, party every day until 6:00 in the morning and then sleep during the day, and now I play these two days (laughter).

...

Q. One thing that sort of surprised us was you had been out on some of the outer courts and you were the French Open champion. Was that a surprise to you? You haven’t really been out on the show courts even though you’re the French Open champion.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I’m fine to put me wherever they want to me put. They don’t have to put me Centre Court. But with the schedule, this is little bit weird thing. If you look the schedule, it’s not about only me. It’s about Dinara plays on court No. 2, Venus plays on court No. 1, and girls who’s not very high seeded they play Centre.

I respect them. They’re great players, for sure. But this is what’s weird for me what’s their strategy was of the plan of making the schedule. This is what surprised me a little bit.

But, you know, in Wimbledon you have to expect anything (laughter). So this is Wimbledon. That’s why it’s special for everybody. It’s special for me, as well. That’s why I like it, because it’s unpredictable.

...

Q. Besides partying until 6:00 a.m. in the morning, what have you been doing?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I haven’t been partying (laughter). Now I know you guys. You’re gonna put 6:00, and everybody thinks, and how she can play that well? I’m not that good.

Q. I’m just wondering what you do with your days off or your days when you’re not playing in London.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Like today I was very excited they put me first actually, because I wanted to try to finish quick and I want to go shopping. Because staying in the Village, it’s great. Close to the court, but there’s not much to do.

So I’m getting very bored in the afternoons after my matches and practices. I want to go shopping and see London. Not tourism though, because you get tired. I need just two, three hours to spend some cash.

Q. So you’re going to buy some clothes so you look better at those parties that go until 6:00 in the morning?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I’m not prepared for those parties. I’m always good for those. But I just like to buy clothes, to buy things. Also this year I was so terrible. I was maybe too focused on my tennis work then I didn’t buy any presents for nobody.

I mean, if I want to buy present, I buy present. It’s not problem for me. Like for my hitting partner I say, I won this, so you get the present.

But my mom had a birthday, I didn’t buy anything; my good friend had a birthday, I didn’t buy. I’m like, yeah, yeah, I’m giving you a present soon. I am working on it. I look embarrassed, so I need to go and get some presents.

Q. So Sharapova’s coach was upset years ago that he didn’t get a Mercedes. Is that the kind of gifts you get?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: No (laughter). I don’t earn as much as Maria to get Mercedes. I gave my first car to my coach, which I had. I just said, Okay, you have it. It’s not a problem, because I did not want to sell it anyway.

For me it’s not a problem if I have.

Q. Where do you go shopping? Where will you go, what kind of places?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Well, I went shopping once to Harrod’s already once, and they send me to another street here. I still need to get to know London better because I spend too much time probably on the courts. I have to sneak out of here.

...

Q. You were very satisfied obviously after winning Roland Garros. What do you want to do now?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Keep enjoying my game. I keep it simple. In the French Open they say, Oh, what’s your goal? I don’t want to set goals.

I just want to enjoy. When I enjoy it, I play at my best, and this is what I want to do.

Q. Do you think you can make it two Grand Slams in a row?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Why not? If I wouldn’t believe, why should I be here sitting in front of you? I definitely can be, but it’s going to be much more difficult for me to do it here than Paris. I realize that.

...

Q. Obviously the French Open win was great for you, but as you said yourself, pretty devastating for Dinara. Have you seen her around here, and how do you think she’s rebounded from that?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I just had a long chat with her in the locker room. That’s not why I was late, though. But straight after the match I had a chat with her. It was fine.

We talked about our private stuff, as well. We are good friends, you know, and she’s fine.

Q. She seems pretty happy.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Why shouldn’t be? You know, you should enjoy. It’s past and she’s No. 1 and she should enjoy.

Q. So it’s sort of obvious that Maria and Ivanovic and some of the others get a lot of the publicity and the contracts and so forth, and yet you’ve had tremendous results and not quite that kind of buzz and contracts. Do you have any thoughts about that, on that gap between you?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Well, you know, it’s not my problem to think about it. My problem is to get my best results I can, and this is it. I’m happy who I am and I’m happy the way I am.

I am enjoying myself on the court, and for me it’s most important thing. What they get, I never look at another basket, you know, I look at my basket. I don’t know what they get, so….

Q. You sound very comfortable with that.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I’m all right. Maybe I used to care more, but that’s when I was younger. But why should I? Why should I look at somebody’s house or somebody else’s garden? I’m happy with what I have. If I want to have more, I just have to play better. This is for me the key.

In Defense Of The Bloc Party

Nice article from The Guardian calling out all the people who think the Russians and Serbs are "humourless" and "soulless":

There was a lovely moment at a tournament in the United States a few years ago when Vera Zvonareva of Russia was fretting over the thought that she might be overwhelmed by reporters who wanted to speak to her. In stepped the Australian Jelena Dokic, never one to mince her words. "I don't think you need to worry about that, Vera," she said.

The irony is that Zvonareva actually has plenty to say. Like many of the Russian women players and those fromall over Eastern Europe, there is a lot more to her than many other tennis players. She may describe her favourite food as "Russian soup" but she likes to read and is engaging on any number of subjects, while she is also combining her tennis with studying for a post-graduate diploma in international relations and economics.

The same goes for many of her compatriots. The French Open champion Svetlana Kuznetsova can be hard to stop when she gets going; another former Roland Garros winner Anastasia Myskina was famous for berating her coach and then boyfriend when anything went wrong – an entertaining, if slightly frightening sight – and the world No1 Dinara Safina, when she is in the mood, can be as amusing as her brother Marat Safin.

The Serbs Jelena Jankovic and Ana Ivanovic, both of whom grew up in the shadow of the Nato bombings in 1999, have been world No1 at different times in the past year and are equally intelligent and entertaining.

For all that, the old accusations are still regularly made that the Eastern European players are soulless, humourless and, in short, automatons. Either that or they are cold-hearted in the best Cold War traditions. At best it is a crass generalisation, at worst it is laughable, inaccurate and frankly ignorant.

Golf clap. 

"After The Party Is The After Party"

This is one of the more random collection of players I've seen, considering that three of them kinda suck on grass, the other is marginally ok though has been sucking of late, and the other two are just crazy.  Well ok, one of those two is crazy.

Fine.  I'll be the asshole.

Who invited the draggies?????

I can't explain it but I just heart these two.  Homecoming King and Queen of FD High.  By a landslide.

But What Is That Annoying Sound In The Background?

Wow, you get really close to the action at the Eastbourne practice courts. I want to go to there. Here's Momo and Nads practicing.

Nads and Bethanie

AI practicing with Cahill.

Sveta and CSN.

Cones, Snot Rocket, and the Rads.

Rad, Stosur, and I can only assume Stubbsy there in the background.

JJ with, and I know I'm going out on a limb here, *not* Ricardo Sanchez.

Yeah. That Hip Looks Horrible.

Sveta and Viko playing footie at Eastbourne.  In case you can't tell, Viko's hip is really killing her.  That's why she pulled out of Eastbourne.

Sniper! Sniper!!!

The seeds went atumbling today.  #2, 3, and 4 are out of Eastbourne. 

I'm not entirely sure how a struggling Chakky beats a well-rested JJ on grass in the first round.  But it happened.  And it was a head scratcher.  JJ blamed the change in surface and lack of motivation:

"It took me a while to get the rhythm out there.  And then for some reason from staying so low and getting those low balls my legs got so tight and so tired, and especially in the third set I didn't have the energy in my legs anymore to bend down."

"It was obviously my first match on grass. I'll play Wimbledon and then we'll see. At least I can take a few weeks off then. I wish I could take a break now. I need to get to where I want to play tennis again."

Yikes.

Another head scratcher?  Not that Kuz lost to CanWoz, but that she got bageled in the first set and only took three games off of her.  But we'll cut The Kuz some slack here.  She's not a robot:

"I played for two months on clay and I have it almost in my blood.  I don't have to think about the tactics. I know how to defend, how to attack and what time; how to serve and this and that. And on this surface, everything is opposite. For me, it's too much to change in three days."

The less shocking upset of the day was Momo over Bepa in three.  Nice to see that while Bepa has added much needed strapping to her ankles, she has not gone away from her Casper routine.  I'm just shocked her towel wasn't blue.  Then she'd be *completely* invisible, just like she likes it.

Also losing today? Domi, Sorana, and AKO.  You know who didn't lose?  Dina, who bageled and 3'd ALG.  And no I'm not surprised that it's been over 2 hours since that match ended and there is no story in my newsfeed abou this.

As for the boys, both the top two seeds are out of Eastbourne S'Hitogenbosch.  Fer, lover of grass, lost to Benjamin Becker and Tommy Boredo (I can call him that now that we're off clay) lost to MAR-COS BagDAHtis *clapclapclapclapclap*.

Over in Eastbourne, Igor (top seeded Igor?) followed his ladyfriend out of the tournament,  losing to Fancy Dancy.  Nice day for the Canucks.

Eastbourne Results

Women
Singles – First Round

Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (2/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 60 63
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. (3) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 67(5) 63 62
Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) d. (4) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 63 16 63
(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 62
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Urszula Radwanska (POL) 61 61
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 61
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 67(6) 75 64
(Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. (Q) Jarmila Groth (SVK) 76(7) 61

Doubles – First Round
(4) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. Chuang/Mirza (TPE/IND) 75 64
Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) d. Senoglu/Yan (TUR/CHN) 61 64
King/Zheng (USA/CHN) d. Kleybanova/Makarova (RUS/RUS) 76(7) 63

Men
Singles - Second Round
[4] F Santoro (FRA) d R Ginepri (USA) 46 64 61
[8] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d Y Lu (TPE) 64 67(0) 76(3)
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [WC] J Goodall (GBR) 63 75
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d [Q] B Klein (AUS) 76(5) 61

Singles - First Round
[Q] F Dancevic (CAN) d [1] I Andreev (RUS) 76(6) 62
J Benneteau (FRA) d [5] M Youzhny (RUS) 46 64 64

Doubles - First Round
M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d [1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 61 76(3)
L Arnold Ker (ARG) / M Kohlmann (GER) d A Seppi (ITA) / L Zovko (CRO) 64 36 10-6
[WC] C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) d M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) 64 46 10-8
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) d J Benneteau (FRA) / F Santoro (FRA) 62 61
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) vs [WC] J Erlich (ISR) / J Murray (GBR) 46 76(6) - to finish Wednesday

S'Hitogenbosch Results

Women:
Singles - Second Round
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Ksenia Pervak (RUS) 61 61
(WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (4) Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 64 63
Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) d. (7) Iveta Benesova (CZE) 63 61
Kristina Barrois (GER) d. (WC) Michaella Krajicek (NED) 64 63

Singles - First Round

(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 60 63
Nathalie Dechy (FRA) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 63 36 63
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Stéphanie Foretz (FRA) 64 67(1) 63

Doubles - First Round
Lefèvre/Védy (FRA/FRA) d. (WC) Flipkens/Kerkhove (BEL/NED) 62 64

Men:
Singles - Second Round
[Q] B Becker (GER) d [1] F Verdasco (ESP) 75 76(4)
D Sela (ISR) d [5] I Kunitsyn (RUS) 64 63
I Navarro (ESP) d [6] M Gicquel (FRA) 64 36 75
M Llodra (FRA)d [Q] K Vliegen (BEL) vs 62 63

Singles - First Round
M Baghdatis (CYP) d [2] T Robredo (ESP) 75 62
[Q] T de Bakker (NED) d B Phau (GER) 76(3) 26 63

Doubles - First Round
[1] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) d [WC] T de Bakker (NED) / J Huta Galung (NED) 64 76(5)
[WC] R Sluiter (NED) / P Wessels (NED) d [2] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 76(3) 67(4) 10-4
[3] C Kas (GER) / P Petzschner (GER) d O Hernandez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) 67(2) 63 10-8
J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) d D Vemic (SRB) / M Zverev (GER) 76(8) 62
O Marach (AUT) / D Skoch (CZE) d P Andujar (ESP) / D Ferrer (ESP) 62 63
A Clement (FRA) / M Gicquel (FRA) d R Wassen (NED) / I Zelenay (SVK) 64 62

How Do You Fila?

Interesting stuff from Pete Bodo on Sveta's rising from the ashes with a little help of the Jekyll and Hydes of tennis: Roger and Marat.

After she lost in Rome, Kuznetsova left for Moscow, which disappointed her coaches at the Sanchez-Casals Tennis Academy. She told them she didn't want to train; furthermore, she didn't want to return to Spain. She was discontented, and so deeply that over the following months there were times when she wanted to quit tennis. "I never felt it," she remembered, "But I said it."

One of the people she said that to was her friend and confidant, Marat Safin. "I said, 'Marat,' I don't know, maybe I should not play. He said, 'Okay, are you crazy or what? You have unbelievable opportunities. You just have to play.'"

Kuznetsova says that was the worst period for her, and it lasted for most of last year. She really felt the urge to move back to Russia, to Moscow, a longing that panicked some of her acquaintances and advisers. "I had so many people telling me, you won't be able to play here (Moscow), you won't be able to train here, because it's too much information; it's too much destruction, too much night life, or whatever."

Kuznetsova lost in the first round at the Olympic Games in Beijing; given her deeply-felt and oft-expressed patriotism, it was a devastating blow. She lingered at the Olympics, and one day took a gaggle of Russian female basketball players to see the tennis. At the facility, they saw Roger Federer and appealed to Sveta to get Federer to pose for a picture with them.

Sveta rolled her eyes, just remembering the incident. "You know how I love Roger," she said, "and I never came to him myself to ask for a picture. But it's easier to do something like that for other people so I did go to him. And I was looking at him and he was looking at me and he said, 'What do you want?' "

When Sveta told him, he said, 'Sure, no problem,' and posed with the girls. He also had a 10-minute talk with Kuznetsova - the first conversation she'd ever had with the icon. She told him about the terrible time she was having making a decision about where to live, and she says he told her: "Look, it's up to you. You can only depend on yourself. You can control it. If you can live in Moscow and concentrate, do this. If you cannot. . .  only you can judge, you know."

...

Kuznetsova's friendship with Marat introduces a strange element in this saga, and one that may seem not entirely fair to Dinara. But Kuznetsova sees no reason for Safina to feel threatened or uncomfortable about her closeness with Marat. "There are many, many more tournaments, and she (Dinara) works very hard, she will win it one day. But it's true, me and Marat, we're similar - we hang out a lot, we talk about serious stuff. We go to places - I don't even want to get into what kind of places. . .

"So maybe I am more like him than is Dinara, yet she looks unbelievable like him. She walks like him, her backhand is like Marat's, her hands. . . I don't think she has pressure because of him. She is No. 1 now and anyway I always say pressure is something that just you can put on yourself. So Marat and I, we still friends. He help me a lot last year, with agents and stuff. And he texted me after the match, 'Congratulations.'"

Sigh.  I wonder what he texted to Dina.  If anything at all.  Speculative Sad Face.

Of course, it wouldn't be a Pete article if it didn't veer towards the uncomfortable:

But it was about her own downside that the new Roland Garros champion was most articulate when she sat before the world press, wearing a white sports jacket with some sort of sparkles embedded in the fabric, her streaked blonde hair still pulled back in that pony tail that may be the perfect symbol of her makeover. And that's a transformation that may be deep-reaching.

We don't like to put too much stock in appearances, but sometimes they tell us a great deal. And for long periods in the interim since Sveta won that first major in New York, she seemed oblivious to how she looked, to the point that she sometimes seemed disheveled, unprepared, unprofessional. This mattered because the carelessness and the lack of self-respect that it implied showed in her patchy, undisciplined game - and her results. And while the implications of all this may be discomfiting, it's undeniable that tennis players, especially top players, are generally very fastidious about their appearance and, if anything, overly conscious of style, grooming, and fashion. Their workplace, after all, is in the public eye.

This isn't the most comfortable issue for anyone, including Kuznetsova. When she was asked if it was true that she had no contract with Fila (whose garment she wears), she just replied, "No comment." How can you blame her?  Wouldn't you feel a little hurt if you were, like Kuznetsova, a perennial Top 5 player, and nobody thought enough of your overall talent and appeal to offer you a contract

So Sveta took a shower, bought herself an Armani suit, put a little rouge on, and she won a Slam.  I had no idea it was *that* easy.  I guess the reason Dina lost is because she's been wearing the same ugly pink t-shirt everyday for the past year.  If only Z knew that.  That thing would have been burned a long time ago.

Also, Sveta doesn't have a sponsor?  How'd I miss that one?

What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Annnnnnd... it all ends here.

Yeah, I'm a Fed fan.  I have a Federbear.  I'm not going to pretend that I'm not thrilled for Roger finally putting his RG ghosts to rest, shutting up all the GOAT speculation (at least as far as Pete Sampras goes), not losing it after that jackass rushed him on the court (seriously, WTF?) and closing out the career Grand Slam.  YAY ROGER.  And no, I don't think it's that important that he didn't have to play Rafa in the final.  If Dinara had won yesterday and she'd double bageled Urszula Radwanska to do it, I would not have given a shit about the opponent.  Sometimes you just need the win.

Also, I had kind of a Sod moment.  When he said that he and his coach had been "yoking" about how many times he's lost to Roger, I totally lost it.  "Yoking", you guys.  For real.

But ohmigod, am I the only one who feels like RG's been going on for at least a month?  I'm exhausted.  I don't know if I'm ready for another Slam in 3 weeks.  I don't know if I'm ready for another Slam, ever, period.  I'd be perfectly happy to skip from Eastbourne to Stanford.  Let's go with that.

So congrats to the champions: Roger, Sveta, love you both.  On a personal note, it's been a kick writing for you guys, so thanks for putting up with the sub and playing nice.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Sveta Rules. A Lot.

Pic This: The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of...Dinara.

 

Augh.  A lot of yin yang feelings. 

  

Sometimes The Good Guys Do Win.

It says a lot about how much I like and respect The Kuz that seeing her not choke and eventually raise that trophy almost completely mitigates my absolute depression that Dina had to be the one to lose.  Obviously the story will be about Dina and how crushing this loss was.  More on that later. 

But suffice it to say that Sveta deserved this.  She put pressure on Dina from the first point and signaled that she was there to play.  She yanked her all over the place and as the pressure of the moment mounted it was Sveta who remained calm and Dina who choked.  God that hurts to write.

But I want to make sure that we all spend some time tipping our cap to the oft-forgotten Russian.  She really has had to battle back from mental demons to get here.  As much shit as I feel like Ana's had to endure over the past year for being a head casey one Slam wonder who has the talent but can't seem to get out of her own way, Kuz has been dealing with it for five years now, and her headcasey failures seem to have been even more high profile (at least to us tennis fans).
This one just felt sweet.  It felt right.  Even if it was at the expense of Dina. 

So congrats to Sveta, 2009 Roland Garros Champion.  May the sound of the hip hop you blare while nakedly running down the Champs Elysees be the rhythmic signal to all of your deserved return to the upper echelons of the WTA.  I wonder if they'll let her drink a 2-Liter of Pepsi out of that thing.

 

We'll Still Be Cool After This, Right?

Looks like the weather has cleared up and we'll actually get the All-Russian Final that no one wants to watch. 

These two crack me up.  Go Tennis!