Forty Deuce

My Two Pence.

Yeah yeah yeah.  It's late and no one cares about the Wimby player party anymore.  BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY.  So here we go.

Not digging the hair, but the dress is colorful, young, and fun.  It kind of makes me want a strawberry daiquiri.  Or a Jamba Juice.  It is also just begging for a nip-slip.  No word on whether that happened but if it didn't I would very much like to know the name of the fashion-tape manufacturer.  I have a roof that needs to be reshingled to withstand gale force winds.

Sometimes people get scared of fashion.  Like, they find it to be this weird place with weird people with weird vocab who make things that look pretty fucking weird and yet the world jizzes itself upon their unveiling and it makes you feel dumb cuz you don't get it.  So people (like how I'm using anonymous "people" to make my argument? Stay with me.), being scared because they don't want to sound like a doof, basically excuse anything that looks nutty as "avant garde" which, apparently, automatically means it's amazing and good. 

I mean, it's bullshit is what I'm saying.

Fashion, like any creative art, is obviously very subjective.  But it's not *completely* subjective.  I don't fucking care that Bethanie is awesome or that this was designed by Gaga's designer.  THESE ARE NOT EXCUSES FOR CRAP.  I mean, first of all, LITERAL MUCH???  Oh, you came dressed like a tennis ball because you are a tennis player who hits tennis balls about to play at a tennis tournament and this party has lots of tennis people who are also going to hit tennis balls at this tennis tournament and everyone loves tennis and oh yeah tennis.  This is *literally* literal. 

Second, aside and apart from the concept, let's go to construction.  Did Alex Noble sit in his minimalist industrial loft in Hell's Kitchen with a can of tennis balls, an exacto knife, and a glue gun?  The skirt is fine and whatever, I guess, but that whole tennis ball bustier fringe action is horrible.  I can totally see Nina Garcia giving crazy stinkface as this goes down the judging runway.  Auf Wiedersehen!

Last, concept and construction down, it just looks bad.  People can talk about how they admire Bethanie for having the courage to wear it and that the courage itself should win the day.  But dudes, I think it's really courageous for someone to walk around naked in a public space.  Doesn't mean that I also don't think "Dude, have some self-respect.  Stop trying so hard to attract attention.  It's pathetic.  Put some clothes on."

Ok, so it's Caro, right?  So we totally know it could be worse.  The fact that Stella didn't tack on a ruffle or 3000 to this thing is a victory.  From this angle the dress looks nice.  I actually quite like it.  It drapes beautifully and I'm a sucker for that shit.  But from the front it looks completely wonk.  The waistline is all crooked and I can't tell if it's a Stella affectation or Woz is wearing it wrong.

As for the hair, look.  I'm struggling to be nice here, really.  But let's just say that Woz has a certain facial feature that is only highlighted when you put her hair up like that.  Let it down, let it loose, and I think she could have really rocked this look. 

Upshot:  Lots to like, lots to hate, and in the end the look fell short.  Sound familiar?

Double the Giggles, Double the Fun.

One of the biggest stories to come out of this year's BNP Paribas Open is how the doubles competition seemed to overtake the tournament.  You had the top four players playing with their countrymen, blitzing well-established doubles teams to make the latter rounds.  Fans were lapping it up.  The Murray Brothers on Court 3?  Packed.  Wondering why Stadium Court is empty during a night match?  That's because Rafa and Marc were on-court over on Court 2.  The fans were absolutely loving it.  It may be a novelty but it wasn't a throwaway.  Fans genuinely felt as though they were seeing something unique, fun, and of the highest quality.

So leave it to the last minute team (X-Man asked Dolgo to play 15 minutes before the deadline) to run through the competition, grinning and giggling while beating the Bryans, the Murrays, the Indo-Pak Express, and Team Switzerland, to hoist the trophy.  You want to know how great this team was?  They were converting fans left and right, as fans of their vanquished opponents would show up to their matches the next day, vocal and loyal.  They did it by having an infectious, joyful energy that you couldn't resist, while playing a dynamic and athletic style of doubles that Roger called "unconventional".  They pounded the ball at their opponents and scrambled in patterns that screamed "HOLYSHITWEHAVENOIDEAWHATWEAREDOING".  I suspect fans saw themselves in that haphazard style.

Check it:

So fun.  I hope someone uploads the video of the trophy ceremony.  Dolgo's giggle as he said it was especially cool to beat Roger is hilarious.

As for the ladies, Sania and Vezzie almost didn't take the court.  Vezzie's been struggling with a wrist injury all week, something that Sania's very familiar with.  Thank goodness they did.  They blitzed Bethanie and Meghan on their way to the title.

Ah, dubs.  They never show it on television but I always make it a point to watch whenever I'm at a tournament.  If you're coming to Miami be sure to fit it into your schedule.  Word is that Andy and Nole are teaming up.  Here's hoping that Sam and Fran do the same. 

(Pics: Getty)

Pic This: To the Dearly Departed.

We just didn't have enough time together.  Makes me way emo.

Holy Shit, Sania!

Whether the ball goes in or not, she still has the best off-hand in the biz.

There are many wonders of the tennis world.  Shots or moves that are just so unique to that particular player that they need to be seen, heard, and experienced before you can call yourself a tennis fan.  Roger's inside-out forehand, Kim's sliding splits, Rafa's running forehand pass, etc.  But one of the wonders that I almost completely forgot about was Sania's forehand.  That thing is an absolute marvel.  Every fucking thing about it is absolute poetry.  When she hits it flush and clean it's absolutely mind-blowing.

For about an hour and a half last night that's exactly what she was doing.  Let's not be idiots here.  There are no "tactics" with Sania.  Her game ain't pretty.  She has one shot and one shot alone, but that one shot is an absolutely blazing extreme-gripped forehand that is the result of the perfect blend of power and timing.  When she's able to get herself into position it looks effortless.

Justine got to see it first hand last night after Sania shocked everyone by taking the first set 7-5.  But Justine, as is her annoying little habit, was able to steady herself in the second set to finally get enough balls back and force Sania into misses.  But it was nice to be reminded that the Sania hype is/was justified.  But then you see her serve a ball and you start questioning it all over again.

But Jesus holy hell it was fun to watch for a while.  I would pay money to just watch her hit that forehand all day. 

(Pic: Getty)

Asians: We're Hard Workers.

While all you white people are off vacationing and whatnot, Asia don't sleep.  That's right, it's Joy Luck Club meets Outsourced meets Denis Istomin as the nations of the Far East battle it out at the 16th Annual Asian Games in Guangzou.  Sania, Nails, Kimiko, Tammy, Somdev and a host of other recognizables are all in action.

That's all I have to report at the moment.  I just really wanted to make that Istomin joke.

Also, there's someone named Sabine Sharipova.  Just FYI.

(Pics: Getty)

Around The Grounds: Day 1

My day started with a little Dinara warming up on Armstrong.  I figured I should probably soak this in as much as possible all things considered.  I've unfortunately had to apply my Ivanovician "If you don't see her early you may not see her at all" tactic to Dinara.  As we all know, it was a wise decision.

Dani tweeting away as she waits for Dinara to stop wheezing and get off the court.

Sania!  She was absolutely CRUSHING the ball during her practice session and it was nice to hear that she beat Burrito later that day. 

I...I...I can't even deal with that dress.  First of all, it looks two sizes too big.  Second, it looks, in person, like it's made of pleather.  Third, well, Yonex designed it so the first two points were a given.  Fugly dress notwithstanding, she won in front of a rather packed crowd on Court 11.

 

I was way too distracted by Rafa and Sam that I didn't even notice that Gilles was Rafa's practice partner.  In fact, I do believe my inside voice actually muttered "What the fuck is up with Rafa's skinny, scrubby hitting partner?"  Shame on me.

 

Walked by Court 6 right as Kleybs won her match.  Kept my distance.  Didn't know if she'd start shaking the sweat off or not.

 

Ran off to get some food (a hotdog and waffle fries in case you didn't care) and came back to see Ana and Flavia practicing together on Court 5.  My hands were full of food so I literally stood courtside as I downed my hotdog in four bites.  You know that scene from 30 Rock with the sandwich at the airport?  Moi.

My phone was all crapped out all day (assume it's a network issue because it's fine when I get back to Manhattan) and I was having trouble hooking up with Lexi, who was busy boozing it up all over the grounds.  But once she saw my message that Ana and Flavia were hitting, she found me.  I'm predictable like that.

 

Flavia talking to Stefano, her physio, who I rather randomly met at a bar the other night.  He is so so so nice.  I have to say, one of the nicest "entourage" folks I've met.  Well, he's doing his job right because the toe seems to be ok.  She won later that night.

 

Then it was time for Coco, who couldn't back up last week's tight win over Dani.  Not entirely unexpected, really, but still a bummer.  But at least Dani had to play well to beat her. 

Pic This: Day 1

Aaaaaand we're off!

Was Pimmy wearing pearls today?  I'll have to go back and check.

Little man, big heart.

Anna Wintour would not approve.

 

You can *still* see that horribly offensive fistpump in the dark.  Horrible!

Ducky got a standing ovation before and after the match.  Class.

I'm gonna pass on Venus' dress.  It just looks cheap. 

And you know there's an issue when people are saying JJ looks better.

I Think That Went Well...

So Sania got married. 

But you know what's better than her wedding photos?  Pics from her "press conference" before the wedding...

It started out ok...

UPDATED: Sania's Getting Married. Or Something. I Don't Know.

Following Sania Mirza's love life is as futile as Ana Ivanovic trying to win another Slam.  It's confusing, at times hopeful, sometimes cool, but ultimately a waste of time. 

She called off her engagement to her childhood buddy a few months ago, and now she's apparently engaged to a Pakistani cricketer.  And this is a problem for a number of reasons.  Apparently.  I don't know.

Feel free to try and explain it to me in childlike terms in the comments.

UPDATED: Stephanie Myles as the comprehensive write-up on the whole sheboggle here.

Auckland Morning Zoo

Auckland has always been my second favourite tournament of the new season (behind Hopman Cup, natch), because of the stupidly Morning Zoo-like antics that go on around it.  (For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the concept of "Morning Zoo", click here.)  I mean...

So far this year, they seem to be trying to make Flavia into the Horse Whisperer. New Zealand is weird.

Draw

Top Seeds: Flavs, Nails, Yanina, Franny

Potential Quarterfinals: Flavs/Aravane, Franny/Elena V., Yanina/Razzano, Nails/AMG

Potentially Interesting First Round Matches: Chakky v. Kimiko

Interesting Questions: How will Yanina play after the suspension debacle?  WTHIGOW Domi, Sania, Alize, Marina Erakovic, Chakky, Makiri, Kaia and Shahar?  (Yes, they are all in this draw.)  What the fuck stunts will players be required to participate in for our amusement this year?

1-14

Yeah, baby!  That's the combined record in tour finals of the Osaka finalists.  Congratulations, ladies.  One of you is guaranteed to trip over a title today. 

Sam had a nice win over Caro in three sets, including a bagel in the first, and well-done to her.  Except for that one match against Serena in Stanford, she's been having a rough time since she made the semis at RG.  She hit 12 aces in the match, which is a little bit insane, given current WTA standards.  Also, look at that arm.  It's not for real.  The picture is completely deceptive, because looking at that arm and how bad ass she looks in those sunglasses, you'd think it would be impossible for her to ever lose.

In the other semi, Franny ended the best run Sania's had in what seems like forever in less than an hour.  Oh well, Sania.  Progress is progress!  Is this possibly the worst picture ever taken of her?

Singles - Semifinals
(3) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. (1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) 60 46 64
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Sania Mirza (IND) 62 61

Still Waiting...

Okay, a seed lost today in Linz.  But it was Iveta Benesova.  To Petra Kvitova.  I... don't know what to say.  I guess I'm mildly surprised that Sybille Bammer lost to Alexandra Dulgheru, but I don't know if that's reasonable or not.  Same with Alize Cornet winning a(nother) match.

In Osaka, Sania won again, which makes this a nice little tournament for her.  And Franny mysteriously got bageled in the second by Yung-Jan Chan before wrapping it up in three.  WTF, Franny?

I can't even find any pictures from today.  Well, not that I'm bothered to look very hard.  

Linz

Singles - Second Round
(4) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) d. Olga Govortsova (BLR) 63 64
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. (5) Iveta Benesova (CZE) 64 75
(8) Sara Errani (ITA) d. Tatjana Malek (GER) 63 60

Singles - First Round
(2) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Monica Niculescu (ROU) 64 62
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Timea Bacsinszky (SUI) 76(6) 64
Alizé Cornet (FRA) d. Kristina Barrois (GER) 46 63 63

Osaka

Singles - Second Round
(2) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. (WC) Kurumi Nara (JPN) 61 61
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Chan Yung-Jan (TPE) 63 06 63
(7) Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Vania King (USA) 64 62
Sania Mirza (IND) d. Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) 64 63
Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) d. Sybille Bammer (AUT) 63 61

Uninspired

That's me, trying to come up with something, anything, to say about things that happened in Linz and Osaka today.  Okay, I guess Sania had a nice win over Shahar.  I know it's not exactly an upset, given their head-to-head, but with their current rankings, Shahar's recent win streak, and all Sania's injury troubles, it is an outcome I was a little surprised to see.  Especially considering the last time I saw Sania, she was getting double bageled by Flava Flav at USO.

Also, Franny won.  Also, Makiri had to retire with a knee injury.  I can't even be bothered to look hard enough to find pictures.

Linz:

Singles - First Round
(4) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) d. Katarina Srebotnik (SLO) 62 64
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. Andrea Petkovic (GER) 61 64
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. (WC) Yvonne Meusburger (AUT) 76(6) 61
Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) d. Lucie Hradecka (CZE) 62 26 61

Osaka:

Singles - First Round
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Anne Kremer (LUX) 75 62
Sania Mirza (IND) d. (5) Shahar Peer (ISR) 36 63 64
(7) Melinda Czink (HUN) vs. (WC) Ryoko Fuda (JPN) 64 64
Mathilde Johansson (FRA) d. (8) Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ) 75 26 75
Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 62 ret. (knee injury)
Katie O'Brien (GBR) d. Alexa Glatch (USA) 63 64

Badass

Winner.

 

Winner.

 

Chicken dinner.

The Return of The Mack

I guess Sunday was a day for reemergence.  Nole popped up out of nowhere and so did Dejan.  I so confused.  But it seemed to put Team Pinky in a darn good mood.

 

Girl, give those bike shorts back to Lena.  They do not work.  Ever.  Even Z looks confused.

 

Man.  Sveta *really* likes those shorts from the company that no longer sponsors her, huh?

Sven is looking particularly adorable in New York.  Hair cut?  Weight loss?  Ditching the uncomforably bright Adidas tops?  Who knows.  But as Sodapop wrote, "Sven and the camera are BFFs."  Indeed.

And before I forget:  SQUEE!!!!  Sania!

 

And look who else is back!  Richie Rich hit the courts for a hit, though it looks like he and Pamela had a rockin' wet t-shirt party right before.  Some never learn.  

And the rest of the French buffet.  

(Pics courtesy of Sodapop)

Meet the Mirzas

Sania's officially engaged to her childhood buddy Sohrab Mirza.

Looks like an understated ceremony.  So quaint.

Tearin' Up My Heart

 

So many no-win matchups today that leave me a bit empty inside.  In addition to the Dani/Jay-Z match, we have Sorana (yay!) beating Sania (no!) 64 64.  Then we had Jo getting a walkover from the always tasty but losey Goth Bols.

And then we had the match that we all totally hated on being the match of the tournament so far.  Tough tough loss for Sammy, though if anyone can deal with it and not let it get him down, it's Querrey California.  And a great win for Marin.  He pretty and I like him.

Pic This: Awesome Shit From Day 1

And so it begins.  Yet another two weeks of frazzletastic tennis a (what non-tennis fans would call) ridiculous surface.


Have I mentioned lately how awesome Shazza is?  No?  Oh, ok.  CUZ SHE IS.


As is the Flying Falcon, who looks like he can hit a leaping overhead and jack himself off all at the same time.


Momo?  So awesome that even douchey white dudes with popped collars like her.  Her awesomeness knows no demographic bounds.

 
Is Fed awesome?  Depends on the definition of awesome we're using.  But you know what needs no definitional clarification?  Fed's awesome mooseknuckle, which he goes out of his way to show off all the time.  Seriously, I must have at least 15 GOATknuckle shots on my hard drive.


Jay-Z.  Always awesome, even when beating other awesome players.


Wait, how'd This Fucker get on the list?  *shakes fist* Damn you, Sod. 


Nads? Awesome.  That dress?  Not awesome. 

Is that a ruffle bandolier?  Because that would easily be the absolute gayest thing to ever come out of Mexico.


Nipple shoes.  Always awesome.  Because I get to write the word "nipple".


Come on.  The definition of.


Jude Law?  Not awesome.  But who's that I see two seats to the left?  Is that the ever awesome ex-Mr. Jolie JONNY LEE MILLER???  Yes, yes, I think it is.  Someone needs to get me some Eli Stone/Slackers/Edmund Bertrum, stat!


Fed's propensity for statuesque poses.  He makes tennis look pretty.  And fancy. 


Tuxedo's eyebrows.  A-some.


Adidas' new grass shoes, judging by the pictures, are clearly 92% better than Nike shoes.


700,000% awesome.

Two Wins, One Day, Clap Clap.

Ok, I know.  It was said repeatedly during RG.  But seriously, can we get a little golf clap for what Masha is doing?  This is getting a bit ridiculous.  She finished off Alexa Glatch with no problem and then turned around and beat Tranny, and we all know Tranny is no slouch.  All this while coming off a deep run at RG and barely having a week off to transition from clay to grass. 

Seriously.  You have to appreciate what she's doing here. 

The other feel good story?  How about Sania's run so far?  She takes out AKO and now Pavs.  If I didn't think you were so awesome I'd kinda hate you right now, Sania.

But can I pour one out for my fallen homies?  Top seeded Jay Z and third seed Can-Woz fall in some tight matches.

I'd love to see a Pova/Nails semifinal.  And Pova/Sania or Nails/Sania final would give me warm fuzzies going into Wimbly.

Singles - Third Round
(13) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (1) Zheng Jie (CHN) 76(10) 64
(16) Melinda Czink (HUN) d. (3) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 67(7) 75 75
(4) Li Na (CHN) d. (15) Aravane Rezai (FRA) 75 64
Sania Mirza (IND) d. (5) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 76(3) 36 62
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (7) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) 61 63
Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (14) Roberta Vinci (ITA) 61 64
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. Julia Goerges (GER) 76(3) 63
Stefanie Voegele (SUI) d. (WC) Naomi Cavaday (GBR) 64 62

Singles - Second Round
(1) Zheng Jie (CHN) d. Melanie South (GBR) 63 61
(4) Li Na (CHN) d. Jarmila Groth (SVK) 64 26 61
(5) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. (WC) Elena Baltacha (GBR)
67(1) 63 76(3)
(7) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Mariya Koryttseva (UKR) 61 61
Julia Goerges (GER) d. (8) Sara Errani (ITA) 64 57 75
(13) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (Q) Chanelle Scheepers (RSA)
67(8) 61 63
(14) Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (Q) Lilia Osterloh (USA) 64 62
(15) Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 76(12) 36 62
(16) Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) 62 63
Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (LL) Michaella Krajicek (NED) 62 64
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. Alexa Glatch (USA) 63 64
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. Petra Cetkovska (CZE) 63 75

1-1

That's Serena's new record against Klara Zakopalova for the '09 clay court season.  So... there's that.  I can't really say anything about anyone's level of play since I didn't watch very much of it, but I can say that Serena's knee wrap looked oddly high tech.  Although I could be making that up in my head.

I don't think she's even wearing jewelry from her own line. What kind of marketing strategy is that, Serena?  

There were other matches this morning, of course, mostly wrapped around a two hour rain delay...

Jelena's new not-entirely-horrible, but not-entirely-awesome Anta dress made its debut today. That's also a pretty good summary of how she played against Petra Cetkovska-- it's kind of like her game is currently on a factory reset: the big problem is gone, but none of the old programming has been reinstalled yet. Competent, and certainly enough to get her through the first two or three rounds, but not entirely solid yet. Meanwhile, look who's wearing pink!

Man. If, in some alternate universe, it ended up being a Dinara/Sveta final, Sveta would immediately have the upper hand because Dinara would be so. Jealous. Sveta played a really solid match against Claire Feuerstein, a French journeywoman who turned out to be much better than anyone thought she'd be-- possibly including Feuerstein herself.

'Round the ATP side, Nicolas Lapentti did his part to get Philippe Chartrier back on schedule by retiring down 4-6, 1-3 to Nole.  

  

Lapentti rolled his ankle-- which was already heavily taped-- towards the end of the first set, and obviously never got comfortable again. Nole looked calm and collected, had some silly misses, but mostly looked in perfectly good shape for the beginning of the tournament. 

Other results thus far: Monfils, Kohlscreiber, JMDP, Gicquel, Seppi and Disco Tommy all through easily in straight sets. Juan Monaco just knocked out Marcos-- Marcos, we hardly knew ye.  Caro, unsurprisingly, took the third set against Vera D fairly easily (6-1). The Gypsy prolonged Dani's misery by beating her in straight sets, Ruano Pascal did the same to Nikki V. Aleks Wozniak went through in 3, U-Rad went out in 3. Lena D through in straights, but went down a couple of breaks in the first. Sania's out and Dokic is through (only her second win since the AO?!). Quality guy Ivan Ljubicic is in a deciding set with Ferrero and Jo Willy and Apricot Bars are locked down in battle on Chartrier, but ESPN2 has decided I'd rather watch Blah. They are incorrect. Thank god for livestreaming. One note: conditions today have been terrible-- hours of rain delays this morning, terrible wind ever since. It looks like hell out there.

Pic This: More From Saturday @ IW

Daveed.

Some dude.

Dani

Dima yukking it up on the practice field with Viktor.

Daveed and Chucho taking a breather.

Rod Laver explaining to Bud Collins what Roger has to do to beat Rafa (seriously).

She actually looks like she knows what she's doing in this pic.

Gilly and the beautiful surroundings.  And smog.  But let's focus on the positive here.

Rafa at night.  Dude was MOBBED.

Sania does not look convinced by Sven's advice.  She would lose serve in the very next game and stare angrily at Sven. 

(Pics for Forty Deuce by C Note and Love All)

Thursday @ IW: Andy's Special, Bethanie's Back, and Masha's Homeless

More Scenes From Day 1

 

Sania and Snot Rocket Descend On Indian Wells

 

Nice!  Snot Rocket, Sania, and Melanie Oudin were granted main draw wildcards for Indian Wells.  I hope I'll get to see Snot and Sania.  I want to hear Snot and see Sania's awesome off-hand action in person.  And then I can just giggle to myself.

Vania King, Alexa Glatch, Michaella Krajicek, Urszula Radwanska, and Alja Tomljanovic were also granted WCs.

Take Me Down To Pattaya City Where The Grass Is Green And The Girls Are Pretty...

Hehe.

Congrats to Crazy Eyez Bepa, who held off a resurgent Sania to take her first title of the year, 75 61.  Sania had her chances to get the break needed to win the first set but Bepa held her off.  Very encouraging result for Sania though.  That forehand is off the hook.  Still inconsistent though.

A Return To Form

Feel the love, Amelie.  Feel it.

It's Valentine's Day.  Momo's wearing red.  And she's in the City of Love.

Was there any way this wasn't going to happen?

62 06 61.  That was the scoreline of Momo's quasi-demolishing of JJ in Paris this morning.  She was (second set notwithstanding) effervescent.  Amazing movement and just flawless play.  I thought my eyes were deceiving me.  As for JJ, she wasn't playing horribly, but she's definitely missing more shots these days, which her game can't afford.

She'll face Lena in the final, who won in a walkover when Serena withdrew with a bum knee that she claims got tight during her match with Loit.  WTF? Serena.  Withdrawing to protect herself for Dubai?  To protect ego?  Cuz she just didn't feel like playing Elena?  What's going on here?  Muzz has a bum foot an has withdrawn from next week's tourney in Marseille.  Doesn't mean he's withdrawn from the final in Rotterdam. 

Whatever.  It's no use trying to get in that girl's head.

Look who else had a nice run this week.  Welcome to the finals, Sania!  She beat Rybarikova 64 57 61 and will face Bepa in the final. 

Dude. That Elephant Looks Totally Fake.

Pics from the Pattaya Open Player Party.

I don't know what it is but I have never seen a picture of elephant that looks real to me.  Probably because they don't look like the stuffed animal and cartoon versions, which is pretty much how I gauge reality anyway.


How adorable is Kimiko?  She's 40!!!


Oh Bepa.  You bring a smile to my face when you don't have a towel over your head.  And Sania's looking good too.


I...don't know what Woz was going for here.  I'm not sure "Just got out of the shower and threw on this matronly black dress" is in this season.


No honeymoon for Jarkka I guess.  Unfortunately she lost in the first round so maybe she should book that ASAP.
 

Building Champions

A very cool video on the Adidas Player Development Program (warning, it's 12MB).  They interview Sven, Gil, Ana, Fernando, Woz, Sam, and Sania. 

It's such a smart program from a branding perspective.

A Good Day For Adidas

 
Nice wins for Sania and Ski Boots to kick off their campaigns. 

Sania had a straight set win over Marta Domachowska, 61 64.  Does Sania not have the most awesome off-hand action ever?

And Caro had a straight set win over the "Can we finally write her off?" Shahar Peer, 3 and 2.  Awkwardly, the two are doubles partners for the tourney. 

Dinara had a solid straight set win over Alla Kudrywhatever.  Alla was cracking the ball but as expected just couldn't keep that level up over the course of the match.  She had chances to put pressure on Dina and couldn't do it.  Still though, Dina's not looking as sharp as she needs to right now.  Hope a little "pep talk" from Zeljko will do the trick.

Oh, and in case you haven't gotten the memo, Dinara wants to go as Safin-a as opposed to SaFEEna.  So noted.

There Must Be Some Toros In The Atmosphere

The JB Group Classic exhibition in Hong Kong officially got underway today, and Team Russia fired the first shot.  Bepa beat Zheng 76(3) 64 and Chakky beat Sania 64 64.  Bepa's match was appanrently a break-a-thon, with 13 breaks of service.

In the doubles match, Team Europe beat Team America 64 75.

I think it's hilarious that JJ makes the Burrito look like a midget.  On, and JJ?  Just because you leave the stencil off doesn't mean we don't know it's still a Prince.  Nice to see her back in the shorts though.  She's one of the few that can pull off the on-court shorts look.

World War III. Of Course JJ's Involved.

Uh...where's Venus?

The JB Group Classic exhibition is set to officially kick off on Wednesday with Team Russia vs. Team Asia/Pacific and Team Americas vs. Team Europe.

But before the official start of the exo, the "Stars of Tomorrow" (no pressure) played two exhibition matches.  Coco Vandeweghe beat the Burrito in three sets, 36 63 64, and Zhang Lin beat Alexandra Panova, 57 63 10-8.  Nice win for CoCo.

More pics from the players' gathering:

Note to JJ.  Never EVER turn your back on Chakky.  She will cut you.  And then seduce the PI she hires to investigate your murder.


I kinda want to see a knife fight between these two. 

Zheng Jie is adorable.  I just want to pick her up and put her in my pocket.  I do not want to do the same with JJ.  If I did put her in my pocket she would probably disintegrate into a handful of glitter.  And that shit is a pain to clean out of your pockets.

Future stars?  Pavlova looks like Nads' cuter kid sister.

Sania On Track

 

I may have spoke too soon about Sania's preparation for 2009.  Sounds like that spiral thing is working:

Sania Mirza, who until three months ago was struggling to grip a glass of water in her right hand, is back to striking her dreaded forehand with military firepower.
...

The Hyderabadi has been hitting the ball for almost a month now at rigorous training sessions, lasting up to two hours.

During the pre-season camp at the Tennis Village here on Thursday, she showed that if anything, she's perhaps hitting the ball harder than before.

Playing under the keen gaze of her father Imran, Sania, considerably leaner and moving a shade a quicker, has regained the full movement of her wrist. She's also able to hold firm when necessary. Both functions had been lost for a good part of the summer when her forehand looked frayed and her tennis pedestrian.

Will Russia Roll In Hong Kong?

Here are the details for the JB Group Classic, which is set to take place in Hong Kong on January 7-10:

Global Team Event headed up by Stars – Jankovic, Sharapova, Williams & Zheng Jie

(Hong Kong, November 27th, 2008) Organisers announced today a star-studded line up to take part in the J B • GROUP Classic 2009, a World Team Challenge.
 
The Hong Kong Tennis Patrons’ Association (HKTPA) recently created a new concept for their January Event. The J B • GROUP Classic will feature teams from four regions of the globe, Team Europe, Team Russia, Team Americas and Team Asia Pacific. There are 3 players to each team and full details of each team and the format were announced today.
 
Team Europe
Jelena Jankovic (Serbia) – World No. 1
Agnes Szavay (Hungary) – China Open Champion 2007
Michelle Larcher De Brito (Portugal) – Portuguese No. 1

Team Russia
Maria Sharapova (Russia) – Australian Open Champion 2008
Vera Zvonareva (Russia) – World No. 7
Alexandra Panova (Russia) – Star of the Future

Team Americas
Venus Williams (USA) – Wimbledon Champion 2008
Gisela Dulko (Argentina) – South American No. 1
Coco Vandeweghe (USA) – US Open Junior Champion 2008
    
Team Asia Pacific
Zheng Jie (China) – Wimbledon Semi finalist 2008
Sania Mirza (India) –Indian No. 1
Zhang Ling (Hong Kong) – Hong Kong No. 1

The Hong Kong Tennis Patrons’ Association released details of the Tournament Format and Draw for the J B • GROUP Classic 2009 World Team Challenge.
 
The Semi Finals
Team Russia play Team Asia Pacific 
AND
Team Americas play Team Europe
 
Each semi final will consist of 2 singles matches and 1 doubles match. Winners of the two semi finals go into the J B Gold Group Final and Losers go into the J B Silver Group Final where they will play to determine the Champions of both groups.
 
In the J B Gold Group, the winners of the J B • GROUP Classic 2009 will be determined by a round of 5 matches consisting of 4 singles matches and a doubles match, just like the Davis or Federation Cups.

That's a damn strong Russian team.  They should steamroll Asia into the final.

The most intriguing match-up?  Venus/Coco vs. JJ/Burrito.  That should be a fun one to watch if only for JJ's reaction upon hearing Burrito's epic squeal/grunt/scream.  I can hear her in my head saying "Oh my God.  You gotta be kidding me.  What the hell is that?"

Sania Schills Sprite

Man, this girl must move major product.  Hope her wrist heals so that she can actually display the talent to back up all these endorsements.