Yeah yeah yeah. It's late and no one cares about the Wimby player party anymore. BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY. So here we go.
Not digging the hair, but the dress is colorful, young, and fun. It kind of makes me want a strawberry daiquiri. Or a Jamba Juice. It is also just begging for a nip-slip. No word on whether that happened but if it didn't I would very much like to know the name of the fashion-tape manufacturer. I have a roof that needs to be reshingled to withstand gale force winds.
Sometimes people get scared of fashion. Like, they find it to be this weird place with weird people with weird vocab who make things that look pretty fucking weird and yet the world jizzes itself upon their unveiling and it makes you feel dumb cuz you don't get it. So people (like how I'm using anonymous "people" to make my argument? Stay with me.), being scared because they don't want to sound like a doof, basically excuse anything that looks nutty as "avant garde" which, apparently, automatically means it's amazing and good.
I mean, it's bullshit is what I'm saying.
Fashion, like any creative art, is obviously very subjective. But it's not *completely* subjective. I don't fucking care that Bethanie is awesome or that this was designed by Gaga's designer. THESE ARE NOT EXCUSES FOR CRAP. I mean, first of all, LITERAL MUCH??? Oh, you came dressed like a tennis ball because you are a tennis player who hits tennis balls about to play at a tennis tournament and this party has lots of tennis people who are also going to hit tennis balls at this tennis tournament and everyone loves tennis and oh yeah tennis. This is *literally* literal.
Second, aside and apart from the concept, let's go to construction. Did Alex Noble sit in his minimalist industrial loft in Hell's Kitchen with a can of tennis balls, an exacto knife, and a glue gun? The skirt is fine and whatever, I guess, but that whole tennis ball bustier fringe action is horrible. I can totally see Nina Garcia giving crazy stinkface as this goes down the judging runway. Auf Wiedersehen!
Last, concept and construction down, it just looks bad. People can talk about how they admire Bethanie for having the courage to wear it and that the courage itself should win the day. But dudes, I think it's really courageous for someone to walk around naked in a public space. Doesn't mean that I also don't think "Dude, have some self-respect. Stop trying so hard to attract attention. It's pathetic. Put some clothes on."
Ok, so it's Caro, right? So we totally know it could be worse. The fact that Stella didn't tack on a ruffle or 3000 to this thing is a victory. From this angle the dress looks nice. I actually quite like it. It drapes beautifully and I'm a sucker for that shit. But from the front it looks completely wonk. The waistline is all crooked and I can't tell if it's a Stella affectation or Woz is wearing it wrong.
As for the hair, look. I'm struggling to be nice here, really. But let's just say that Woz has a certain facial feature that is only highlighted when you put her hair up like that. Let it down, let it loose, and I think she could have really rocked this look.
Upshot: Lots to like, lots to hate, and in the end the look fell short. Sound familiar?