Forty Deuce

For Those Bothering To Keep Track...

Gilles and Nalby are out of RG. 

Paris just got way less cute.  But it has lost some weight.  Silver lining?

"I'm So Excited! I'm So...Scared!"

So there's this tournament coming up in a few days.  As we're getting ready for our podcast session I've come to find that the FD Podcast team is pretty split as to the level of excitement for RG.  Everyone has their totally justifiable reasons, which I have no doubt will come out on the podcast. 

Personally, I love the Slams, so I'm really excited.  But that doesn't mean I won't be watching most of the tournament peeking out from behind my hands.  My feelings are pretty much represented by my Tune pics for the day: Some sad melancholy for those who won't be there, blustery excitement for the chaos that's about to reign down on us, preparation for disappointment and anger, but I'm ready to watch it with a good dose of humor and, as Jen Knapp sings, I'm ready to dive in.

But I wanted to open this up to you guys.  What's the deal?  Are people excited?  Why?  Are you dreading it?  Why come?  Are you completely disinterested?  Why do read this blog then?

Chat it up in the comments. I'm really curious.

Stupid Foot.

Confirmed: Kim is out of RG.

Broken Belgians

You know how all the talk at the beginning of the season was how 2010 was going to be awesome for the WTA because two of its big stars were coming back and they would add depth and intrigue to the game?

Yeah, fuck that shit.

Kim injured her foot over the weekend being all patriotic and shit.  She's possibly out for six weeks, which makes her French Open campaign questionable.  Justine broke her finger...uh...doing something.  Let's just say it was tennis related and leave it at that.  Because I rocked, what I thought was, a pretty hilarious fingering joke on Twitter and it went over like sand on ham.  Though, it did elicit a "LOL" from Matt Cronin.  What can I say?  The Bay Area loves a good fingering joke.  San Francisco values and whatnot.

Where was I?

Oh, right.  Yeah, Kim and Justine are injured.  At a minimum they'll both go into RG not 100%.  It sucks.  But Kim's taking it well.

Pic This: Djoker In Da House

If A-Rod Says It Puts An End To The Question, Can't We All?

Reactions from around the globe on Fed's GOATness.

Andy Roddick, on Twitter: "props to fed.... that[']s an unreal accomplishment and puts and end to the GOAT question in my humble opinion."

Tommy Haas (up two sets against Federer in the fourth round): "After the match, I obviously I felt a little -- not really regrets, I didn’t play a bad point there on break point. And you thought about 'wow, I’m so close to beating him'... But when I watched him celebrate yesterday and I saw all the historic moments and him now probably being the greatest ever, I don’t really have any regrets. I’m happy the way I played and happy I gave him such a tough battle. And that’s it."

Tomas Berdych, speaking to reporters at Halle: "Well, it’s fantastic. I was sitting almost every match and watching him on the way to the end to win the title. I was on his side. I think he really deserves to win the Grand Slam in Paris. I think now he’s already like a legend, winning everything. That is the best what he can do."

Jim Courier, writing on ChampionsSeriesTennis.com: "I think you can safely say that Roger has the best record of any player in the Open era but it is really impossible to compare it with any of the players prior to 1968... "He still has plenty of runway left to add to his record if he stays healthy. Looking at Open era achievements, you have to look at Laver's 1969 Grand Slam, Pete's 14 majors, Pete finishing the year ranked No. 1 for six straight years, Lendl reaching eight straight US Open finals, Roger's five straight Wimbledons and five straight US Opens (and still counting in Flushing) and Roger's semifinal or better streak at a major (also still counting)."

Rafael Nadal, in a telephone interview with Spanish journalists: "Federer is the one who deserves it the most."  Nadal said he did not watch the final -- "when I'm at home I don't often watch matches" -- but said he planned to text his congratulations to Federer. "Not now because he'll have 300 waiting for him."

Pete Sampras (now tied with Federer at 14 majors), speaking to ATPWorldTour.com: "I didn't think it would only take seven years to tie it. It feels like I'm in good company with Roger. If there was someone I would want to be tied with and maybe one day my record to be broken, I hoped it would be someone like Roger... now, I know it's a different sport, he might have his eyes on (Jack) Nicklaus' 18 Grand Slam record."

...to Tennis.com: "This puts him at the top, as the greatest player in my eyes. But you have to be fair to Nadal, too. Rafa's just in the beginning stages of his career, but he has a good record against Roger. So what happens in the next couple of years could be real interesting."

Tiger Woods (also now tied with Federer at 14 majors), speaking with reporters after winning the Memorial tournament: "He was impressive to watch. Talked to him a little bit yesterday and a little this morning. It's just phenomenal just how he's moving again. He's not hurt. He was hurt for a while there. His back was bothering him, and then he had the whole mono thing last year and had to deal with that. It's just truly remarkable when he gets it going. He just hits shots that nobody else can hit. It's fun to watch.  I was pulling for him. I was as nervous as can be for him. A couple times there, Soderling had break point in the third set. Roger is up a break, and I'm like don't lose this break. I was yelling at the TV, the whole deal. You know, it's fun to watch your friends go out there and play and compete. I get just as nervous doing that because they're my friends."

Roy Emerson (one of the six other men to complete the career Slam), speaking to newjerseynewsroom.com: "I believe he is [the greatest]. Now that he’s won a major on all surfaces, you can’t really argue with it.  I mean, it’s hard to say because you’re comparing different eras with different equipment, different styles, different conditions. But I think after [Sunday], he’s certainly made a really good case. What he’s done is a great achievement."

Pic This: Hope He Can Afford Some New Jeans Now.

Quite apropos to pose in front of the Arc de Triomphe.


I kinda wish he pulled a Sveta, but if he wants to be classy in his polo and holey jeans, so be it.

It's Funny Cuz It's True

From The Onion:

After losing his first French Open match in four years, a somber Rafael Nadal apologized Sunday for disappointing his "millions and millions of fans," a comment many are calling a gross overestimation of his popularity and overall effect on people's everyday lives. "The people all have faith in me, and I let them down," said Nadal, seemingly unaware that most people were oblivious to the fact that he lost the match, that the French Open was taking place, and that the French Open is a professional tennis tournament. "In the end, it's the [maybe 500 at most] fans who really push me to succeed." When asked if he was disappointed that Nadal had lost in the early rounds of the tournament, Kansas City, MO resident Dale Hughbart, 46, said he hopes Michael Chang wins the French Open because he's a "quick little guy, from what I remember."

I was at a BBQ on Saturday night and I was repeatedly asked "So, who won the French Open today?"  To which, in my head I immediately responded "Seriously?  That happened like 12 hours ago.  If you're so curious, how have you not checked?" and "Oh god.  You're asking to be polite.  But do you really care that Svetlana Kuznetsova beat Dinara Safina 4 and 2?"

Answer:  No.  No they did not.

My other favorite exchange:

BBQ Eater: The French Open's right now?
Me: Yup.  Finishing up.  Wimbledon's in a couple of weeks.
BBQ Eater: Really?
Me: Yeah.
BBQ Eater: That's really soon.
Me: Yeah.
BBQ Eater: For whatever reason I thought Wimbledon was in September.
Me: Nope.  The US Open is in September.
BBQ Eater: Really?
Me: Yup.
BBQ Eater: I thought that was in December.
Me: Have you ever watched the US Open?
BBQ Eater:  A few times.
Me: Have you ever seen snow?
BBQ Eater: No.
Me: ...
BBQ Eater: Still, I could have sworn it was December.
Me: I think you're thinking of the Australian Open.
BBQ Eater: What's the Australian Open?
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: I'm gonna get a cupcake.  You want a cupcake?

And scene.

And yes, I am that socially retarded at large events.

How Do You Fila?

Interesting stuff from Pete Bodo on Sveta's rising from the ashes with a little help of the Jekyll and Hydes of tennis: Roger and Marat.

After she lost in Rome, Kuznetsova left for Moscow, which disappointed her coaches at the Sanchez-Casals Tennis Academy. She told them she didn't want to train; furthermore, she didn't want to return to Spain. She was discontented, and so deeply that over the following months there were times when she wanted to quit tennis. "I never felt it," she remembered, "But I said it."

One of the people she said that to was her friend and confidant, Marat Safin. "I said, 'Marat,' I don't know, maybe I should not play. He said, 'Okay, are you crazy or what? You have unbelievable opportunities. You just have to play.'"

Kuznetsova says that was the worst period for her, and it lasted for most of last year. She really felt the urge to move back to Russia, to Moscow, a longing that panicked some of her acquaintances and advisers. "I had so many people telling me, you won't be able to play here (Moscow), you won't be able to train here, because it's too much information; it's too much destruction, too much night life, or whatever."

Kuznetsova lost in the first round at the Olympic Games in Beijing; given her deeply-felt and oft-expressed patriotism, it was a devastating blow. She lingered at the Olympics, and one day took a gaggle of Russian female basketball players to see the tennis. At the facility, they saw Roger Federer and appealed to Sveta to get Federer to pose for a picture with them.

Sveta rolled her eyes, just remembering the incident. "You know how I love Roger," she said, "and I never came to him myself to ask for a picture. But it's easier to do something like that for other people so I did go to him. And I was looking at him and he was looking at me and he said, 'What do you want?' "

When Sveta told him, he said, 'Sure, no problem,' and posed with the girls. He also had a 10-minute talk with Kuznetsova - the first conversation she'd ever had with the icon. She told him about the terrible time she was having making a decision about where to live, and she says he told her: "Look, it's up to you. You can only depend on yourself. You can control it. If you can live in Moscow and concentrate, do this. If you cannot. . .  only you can judge, you know."

...

Kuznetsova's friendship with Marat introduces a strange element in this saga, and one that may seem not entirely fair to Dinara. But Kuznetsova sees no reason for Safina to feel threatened or uncomfortable about her closeness with Marat. "There are many, many more tournaments, and she (Dinara) works very hard, she will win it one day. But it's true, me and Marat, we're similar - we hang out a lot, we talk about serious stuff. We go to places - I don't even want to get into what kind of places. . .

"So maybe I am more like him than is Dinara, yet she looks unbelievable like him. She walks like him, her backhand is like Marat's, her hands. . . I don't think she has pressure because of him. She is No. 1 now and anyway I always say pressure is something that just you can put on yourself. So Marat and I, we still friends. He help me a lot last year, with agents and stuff. And he texted me after the match, 'Congratulations.'"

Sigh.  I wonder what he texted to Dina.  If anything at all.  Speculative Sad Face.

Of course, it wouldn't be a Pete article if it didn't veer towards the uncomfortable:

But it was about her own downside that the new Roland Garros champion was most articulate when she sat before the world press, wearing a white sports jacket with some sort of sparkles embedded in the fabric, her streaked blonde hair still pulled back in that pony tail that may be the perfect symbol of her makeover. And that's a transformation that may be deep-reaching.

We don't like to put too much stock in appearances, but sometimes they tell us a great deal. And for long periods in the interim since Sveta won that first major in New York, she seemed oblivious to how she looked, to the point that she sometimes seemed disheveled, unprepared, unprofessional. This mattered because the carelessness and the lack of self-respect that it implied showed in her patchy, undisciplined game - and her results. And while the implications of all this may be discomfiting, it's undeniable that tennis players, especially top players, are generally very fastidious about their appearance and, if anything, overly conscious of style, grooming, and fashion. Their workplace, after all, is in the public eye.

This isn't the most comfortable issue for anyone, including Kuznetsova. When she was asked if it was true that she had no contract with Fila (whose garment she wears), she just replied, "No comment." How can you blame her?  Wouldn't you feel a little hurt if you were, like Kuznetsova, a perennial Top 5 player, and nobody thought enough of your overall talent and appeal to offer you a contract

So Sveta took a shower, bought herself an Armani suit, put a little rouge on, and she won a Slam.  I had no idea it was *that* easy.  I guess the reason Dina lost is because she's been wearing the same ugly pink t-shirt everyday for the past year.  If only Z knew that.  That thing would have been burned a long time ago.

Also, Sveta doesn't have a sponsor?  How'd I miss that one?

You Can't Make This Shit Up.

 
Since I haven't had my say yet, heartfelt congrats to Fed.  I mean, I know I talk a lot of shit and whatever but really, if you actually pushed me on it, I mean about 1% of it.  It's just tennis for goodness sakes.

More than liking, Fed, or tennis, or GOATs, I *love* a good storyline in sports.  Especially one that you don't have to force *ahem.Bodo.ahem*.

And this was a great storyline.  For Fed to capture his 14th Slam with the trophy that has eluded him so, yeah, good stuff.  I personally don't like his game and I think he's put on this pedestal by fans and journos as being the epitomy of a sportsman, which I totes disagree with, and for the record I do think it matters that he didn't beat Rafa to do it (wasn't the knock on Fed always that he couldn't be GOAT if Rafa dominated him? Not that he didn't have the career Slam), but I know he's a nice dude and if there's one theme from this RG it's that Nice Dudes/Dudettes can come out on top.  So cheers to Fed.  I raise a cup of fair-trade organic coffee in a compostable cup to you.  Because that's how I roll.

 
But seriously?  Fed wins and the Gods cry in sheer joy?  This is where it crosses the line and I kind of hate him again.  1%, y'all.

Oh, but while I'm at it?  FUCK YOU ROBIN SODERLING!  And I 99% mean that one.

On to grass!

I'll Bring The Pliers, You Bring The Blowtorch.

Are you kidding me with this shit? Of all sports, tennis should have the most locked down courtside security and yet this is the second straight slam where we have an incident of some fucking idiot running out to the court and getting right up close to a top players. What the fuck?  I say from now on all tournaments should have snipers on the roofs.  Shoot to kill, I say.

Dude needs to have a talk with Marcellus Wallace:

What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Annnnnnd... it all ends here.

Yeah, I'm a Fed fan.  I have a Federbear.  I'm not going to pretend that I'm not thrilled for Roger finally putting his RG ghosts to rest, shutting up all the GOAT speculation (at least as far as Pete Sampras goes), not losing it after that jackass rushed him on the court (seriously, WTF?) and closing out the career Grand Slam.  YAY ROGER.  And no, I don't think it's that important that he didn't have to play Rafa in the final.  If Dinara had won yesterday and she'd double bageled Urszula Radwanska to do it, I would not have given a shit about the opponent.  Sometimes you just need the win.

Also, I had kind of a Sod moment.  When he said that he and his coach had been "yoking" about how many times he's lost to Roger, I totally lost it.  "Yoking", you guys.  For real.

But ohmigod, am I the only one who feels like RG's been going on for at least a month?  I'm exhausted.  I don't know if I'm ready for another Slam in 3 weeks.  I don't know if I'm ready for another Slam, ever, period.  I'd be perfectly happy to skip from Eastbourne to Stanford.  Let's go with that.

So congrats to the champions: Roger, Sveta, love you both.  On a personal note, it's been a kick writing for you guys, so thanks for putting up with the sub and playing nice.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Sveta Rules. A Lot.

I Abstain.

I'm staying out of this one.  My opinion about this match vacillates minute to minute.  So...good luck to both and I hope you both lose. 

Or something.  I don't know.  All I know is that if Sod wins this I will officially throw my hands up. 

Pic This: The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of...Dinara.

 

Augh.  A lot of yin yang feelings. 

  

700,000% Sadness

As amazing as it is to see Sveta finally, finally, deservedly end her major title drought, today it's hard to see past this:

It's entirely too depressing to think of what must be going through her mind right now although, oddly enough, I did actually believe her when she said in her (horrible, tremendously depressing) press conference that she'll be fine for her next tournament next week.  She's so infamous for clawing her way back in matches when she's down-- at least to push things to a third set-- the mental block seems only to really grab and hold on tight in Slam finals.  Naturally, this one will probably hurt more than the other two: at RG last year, just getting to the final was an amazing accomplishment for her, at AO (besides the mental block) the food poisoning she got hit with the day before probably would have made it impossible for her to put up much of a challenge anyway.

Today will always be full of could have, should have, would have for Dinara, though.  There was no reason to believe that she couldn't have at least made this an actual match.  Sure, losing a tough match to Svetlana would have hurt, too, but not like this.

It's clear that something's not right in her head when it comes to Slam finals, and it's clear that something needs to change to give her a chance to give herself a chance.  It's not as easy as "just believing", and it's not as easy as "get a new coach".  I mean, this year, counting Hopman Cup, Dinara's played in 10 tournaments and been in 7 finals.

10 tournaments.  7 finals.  

So, uh, something's going right.

For that reason, and that reason alone, I don't think firing Zeljko is the answer.  95% of the time, their relationship works for her.  But that 5% gap is the most important one, so here, humbly and pointlessly, are some suggestions (read: venting):

1. Learn to trust someone other than Zeljko: Seriously, sometimes you'd think he's her own personal cult.  He's just a tennis coach, Dinara.  And, according to Ivan Ljubicic, an all-around quality guy.  That's great.  But he is not omniscient.  Really.  Say it until you believe it.  Which leades me to...

2. Get a sports psychologist: Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it, right?  And no, Dinara, despite his status as keeper of all your secrets, Zeljko is not one.

And...

3. Get a serve coach: Wacky idea, right?  But she's 6'3".  There's no reason 40% of her serves should be dumping in the net.

4. Use your next three tournaments to experiment: s'-Hertogenbosch, Wimbledon, Portoroz.  Two international level tournaments and her least favourite Slam where she's only defending 3rd round points.  Don't worry so much about winning, use each match to concentrate on executing a few specific things.  Take the speed off the serve a little and make getting it in as often as possible the goal until she starts to have confidence in something that simple.  Vary the game a little bit-- concentrate on staying inside the baseline as much as possible, make a point of coming to net.  She's got a doubles Slam and she was a top 10 doubles player less than a year ago.  She's not incapable of variety.  Which brings on...

5. Play more doubles: Has anyone else noticed that as soon as she stopped playing doubles (USO last year), her singles game almost immediately tightened up?  And that when she started playing doubles again (Rome this year), she started to look a little more relaxed?  It gets her out on court in matches, but not particularly important ones, where she can play around with her serve, play around with some variety, be on court and strategize with someone else but without Zeljko.  Which, painfully, brings me to...

6. Wean self off of Zeljko: She's obviously perfectly capable of playing without him.  In the past 12 months that's gotten her to 3 Slam finals and a semi.  It seems more emotional than strategic.  You're a big girl, honey.  You've been playing tennis for 20 years.  You really can think for yourself.  On-court coaching is optional, not mandatory.  Wean.  It doesn't have to be cold turkey, but wean.  This will make my YouTube life significantly less entertaining, but hey, we'll always have Sydney.

And finally, speaking of Zeljko...

7. Calm him the fuck down for Slam finals: Look, so him kvetching and moaning in the stands works almost all the rest of the time.  But it's clearly not working for Slam finals.  While she's on court experimenting with staying in the baseline and volleying and generally not going crazy, it would be nice if he could experiment with some general supportiveness and not reemphasizing what is clearly already her worst habit-- focusing on the negative.

The most important thing in the extreme short term, though, is for her to have had someone around to give her a big hug and tell her she is still a great tennis player.  Pick up and dust off, Dinara.  Cry your eyes out for a day and a half and try to move on.  It's the only choice you've got.

Sometimes The Good Guys Do Win.

It says a lot about how much I like and respect The Kuz that seeing her not choke and eventually raise that trophy almost completely mitigates my absolute depression that Dina had to be the one to lose.  Obviously the story will be about Dina and how crushing this loss was.  More on that later. 

But suffice it to say that Sveta deserved this.  She put pressure on Dina from the first point and signaled that she was there to play.  She yanked her all over the place and as the pressure of the moment mounted it was Sveta who remained calm and Dina who choked.  God that hurts to write.

But I want to make sure that we all spend some time tipping our cap to the oft-forgotten Russian.  She really has had to battle back from mental demons to get here.  As much shit as I feel like Ana's had to endure over the past year for being a head casey one Slam wonder who has the talent but can't seem to get out of her own way, Kuz has been dealing with it for five years now, and her headcasey failures seem to have been even more high profile (at least to us tennis fans).
This one just felt sweet.  It felt right.  Even if it was at the expense of Dina. 

So congrats to Sveta, 2009 Roland Garros Champion.  May the sound of the hip hop you blare while nakedly running down the Champs Elysees be the rhythmic signal to all of your deserved return to the upper echelons of the WTA.  I wonder if they'll let her drink a 2-Liter of Pepsi out of that thing.

 

We'll Still Be Cool After This, Right?

Looks like the weather has cleared up and we'll actually get the All-Russian Final that no one wants to watch. 

These two crack me up.  Go Tennis!

What Else Would You Like To Fuck, Dina?

"I Stole. A Food Tray. From Roland Garros."

Fluff piece perfection. See, screw the pre-finals press conferences, WTA.  You should be making Dinara and Svetlana do one of these.

Air Quotes: 2 Cool + 2 B = 4Gotten

Q. Just you and Dinara go back a long way. Can you just talk about when you first met her? You're the same age.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Oh, yeah. This story goes way back. I was like 12 or 13, and Dinara was unbelievable girl. She's one year younger than me. I had no chance playing against her. I remember I lose to her 6‑1, 6‑Love or something, but it was no chance.

I used to be girl from St. Petersburg, she was Moscow and her mom is huge coach who been coaching her. I mean, she was No. 1, No. 2, always great. I don't even know what number I had.

But then I talk to her. I said, Dinara, do you remember something? She goes ‑‑ or whatever. We talk about it. She says, Yeah, I remember you coming with rock shirt, because I was big fan of the rock band, and with big bottle of Coke to the match.

It's fun, you know. She tells me back then this is what she remembers. 

In Other News...

Oh yeah, there was a final today.  Liezel Huber and Bob Bryan beat Vania King (?????) and Marcelo Melo to take the mixed doubles title.

From the look on Liezel's face, the chest bump may have been the way to go there.  Anyway, seems like kind of a random result (I'm still at: Vania King?  Really?), but congratulations to them.

The Way It Was Meant to Be

Is there any more perfect way to end the clay season than with a French Open final between the two players who've shared the major clay titles?

Both of them have had amazing tournaments, dominating their first four rounds and coming through tough matches with harder opponents.  I know a lot of people wanted the Serena/Dinara ultimate showdown, and that would have been a just finale in its own way, but for this part of the tennis season, this really has to be the best ending-- the year's two best clay court players battling it out for the biggest clay title of the year.

It may not be a great match-- Sveta's had three 3-setters in a row, Dinara's sick, and they've both got a touch of the cah-razy.  But it's a great ending to Roland Garros.

There Will Be Blood

So Dina takes on the Jack Rabbit tomorrow. 

In case she needed extra motivation for the match, I give you this walk through memory lane*, starring Dominika Cibulkova, Destroyer of Childhood Dreams:

Vengeance will be mine!

*Just read through the comments. Good times at 4am on a chilly January morning.

Pic This: What A Long Strange Trip It's Been

Head. Ache.


Thu-Tay Fo-Tay


There is so much I'm loving about Sveta right now.  The Karate Kid headband is gone, she's wearing punk pink, and...oh yeah, SHE BEAT SERENA.  Happiness.


Elf is veiny.  Pass it on.


Ok, can we all stop rolling over for him please?  It's getting really awkward.


Now *that* is a tan line.  Yowza.
 

MirkaCam

ZOMG, you guys.  Mirka's got a camera.


Now that's a coffee table book I would *so* buy.


Uh...Mirka's book.  Not that dude's.  Just to clarify.

Get Off Your Knees, Gael. Inappropriate.

TMF dispatched LaMonf pretty handily, though the Pastry had his chances to take the first set.  Who knows what would have happened if he had taken it.  But congrats to Roger.  Apparently ALL OF PARIS  wants him to win.

Q. It looks as if Gaël Monfils had some very warm words for you at the end of the match. Do you get the sense a lot of people are pulling for you this week, that they'd love to see you finally do it on Sunday?

ROGER FEDERER: Yeah, I mean, I feel it since a few years now, to be honest with you. But this year even more extreme. When I walk on the streets or drive in the transportation or I go for dinner, everybody is like, This is your year. You've got todo it.

They're screaming from their scooters and out of the car. They even get out at the red lights and want me to sign an autograph or take a picture. It's quite incredible this last couple of weeks.

I'm torn.  On some level I want Roger to take it so that EVERYONE CAN STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.  But something tells me even if he takes it EVERYONE WILL KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT.

Apologies for the all capping.  I'm having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

Flight Of The Bumblebee

He makes me feel kinda funny.  Kinda like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.

Congrats to Elfie, who beat Tommy Boredo (sorry, I just can't watch the dude play) on his way to his first Slam semifinal.  Quite an achievement for a dude who I still do a double take for whenever I see the #5 next to his name.

But dude.  Elf.  You're playing so well.  Do you really think it's necessary to already be bending over for Roger?

Q. What worries you with Federer? His game or what he represents?

JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO: Well, a bit of everything. With his game he does everything perfectly. His game is much of a problem to me, and this is why I never won when I played him.

Believe in yourself, goddammit!

Or don't.  Whatever.  You're pretty.

Pic This: It Was *Something* On Clay.

Not sure "ecstasy" is the right word, though.

Feel Good Story of the Tournament

I seriously could not be happier for Sam Stosur.  I've never thought of her as a clay court player, but like Maria, if there's a person out there who can't find something to admire in Sam's comeback from Lyme disease, I don't want to know about it.

A very solid win over Sorana Cirstea in her first (singles) Slam quarterfinal to make it to her first (singles) Slam semi.  What a fabulous tournament for her, and even if she goes no farther it should boost her ranking a lot and put her much closer to where she belongs in the tennis heirarchy.  Well done, Sam!

Uhhhhhh... What?!

Sveta, what?  What??  How unexpected was that?  I mean, obviously, Sveta has had the far superior clay season and is-- these days-- the superior clay player, but I always assume that once she's into the quarters of a Slam (assuming her opponent is not named V. Williams, J. Henin, or J. Jankovic), Serena has pretty much an automatic pass to the final.  And since Sveta is such a nutcase, there didn't seem to be any reason to think today would be different.  

However.

Well well well.  Congratulations, Sveta.  Way to demonstrate that there is, somewhere in there, a good dose of grit and mental fortitude.  And actually, also to Serena.  Coming in injured with zero clay play and making the quarters is pretty astonishing.  That's just Serena for you.  Wimbly next, and I'm sure if she's back to full health, she'll be more than ready for it.

It's too soon after the match for there to be very many pictures yet, but there is this one, so enjoy.

Do ballkids get training for these situations?

Pic This: A Racquet On A Mission.

 

Air Quotes: What Is It With The WTA And Integers?

Q.  On a scale of 1 to 10, where would you place your physical?

A.  "Um, I don't really like scales, so I don't know. I don't know where it is. I don't like numbers, either."

-- Masha on her arithmophobia.  Math 0%.

Class.

Seriously.  Much love for Andy and how classy he was in his presser.  Kid just plain got beat by the better player that day.  It's refreshing to see someone so candid and giving honest and heartfelt credit where credit is due. 

Gonzo was just ridonk today.

RG: Wednesday OOP

Court Philippe Chatrier 14:00

1. Women's Singles - Qtr. Finals

Sorana Cirstea (ROU) v. Samantha Stosur (AUS)[30]

2. Men's Singles - Qtr. Finals

Gael Monfils (FRA)[11] v. Roger Federer (SUI)[2]

3. Mixed Doubles

Liezel Huber (USA)[1] v. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER)

Bob Bryan (USA)[1] Mark Knowles (BAH)

Court Suzanne Lenglen 14:00

1. Women's Singles - Qtr. Finals

Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)[7] v. Serena Williams (USA)[2]

2. Men's Singles - Qtr. Finals

Juan Martin Del Potro (ARG)[5] v. Tommy Robredo (ESP)[16]

3. Mixed Doubles

Nadia Petrova (RUS)[4] v. Vania King (USA)

Max Mirnyi (BLR)[4] Marcelo Melo (BRA)

Court 1 11:00

1. Legends Over 45 Doubles

Mansour Bahrami (IRI) v. Peter Mcnamara (AUS)

Henri Leconte (FRA) Ilie Nastase (ROU)

2. Legends Over 45 Doubles

Anders Jarryd (SWE) v. Mikael Pernfors (SWE)

John Mcenroe (USA) Mats Wilander (SWE)

Not Before 13:00

3. Women's Doubles - Semi

Cara Black (ZIM)[1] v. A. Medina Garrigues (ESP)[3]

Liezel Huber (USA)[1] Virginia Ruano Pascual (ESP)[3]

4. Women's Doubles - Semi

Victoria Azarenka (BLR)[12] v. Su-Wei Hsieh (TPE)[9]

Elena Vesnina (RUS)[12] Shuai Peng (CHN)[9]

5. Legends Under 45 Doubles

Arnaud Boetsch (FRA) v. Paul Haarhuis (NED)

Guy Forget (FRA) Cedric Pioline (FRA)

Pic This: It's All About the Angles

The bad news?  You lost your match.  The good news? The FFT would like to put your work "Racquet Sculpture" on display in the Roland Garros on-site museum.

Has anyone else ever noticed that every single match she wins, there's at least one picture of Dina like this, pigeon-toed beyond belief?  Adorably awkward, but my knees and hips hurt just looking at it.

Why why why does anyone ever want these people's sweat-soaked towels and wristbands?  It is seriously one of the most disgusting things I can think of.

Erm... scary.

Just really liked the way this one was shot.

It took me awhile to figure out what this one was: Victoria Azarenka, as seen between the legs of a linesman.  Uh... okay.

Andy's left arm/shoulder look seriously whack here.

Player and Racquet: A Study in Three Parts

Air Quotes: Indecisive Little Thang, Ain'tcha? (Or: Does Jergen Know About This?)

Who’s your ideal mixed doubles partner? 
Gael Monfils because I really enjoyed playing with him in last year’s Roland Garros.

-- Up Close and Personal with Dominika Cibulkova

What, You're Too Proud to Sleep Outside the Embassy Like the Rest of Us?

See, this is why RG needs lights.  Because, due to a lack of lights at Roland Garros, one of Kolya's matches got held over last week, which meant he missed his appointment at the British embassy to get a visa, which means maybe now he can't play Queen's.

Q. Maybe you need to play on grass. Are you looking forward to that?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yes, because first I need to make visit to England. I don't know if I reach there, you know, coming to the Wimbledon (laughing.)

But should be, yes, next week Queen's. We'll see if I can get visa.

...

Q. Talk about your visa. What's the problem?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Problem what?

Q. The visa, were you serious about that, getting a visa for England?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yeah, just ‑‑ no, it's no problem. I try and make last week. I should be have appointment, but I played three days in a row. If you remember, I didn't finish my match and should have been next day play and I have appointment.

Yeah, I pass my time, and now the holiday in England Monday, and then, you know, try to do tomorrow. I know some players say I wait already 10 days hear about visa. And for me now I be in trouble.

If I go tomorrow, I should be receive my visa end of next week. I don't know what I can do. I should be play already Monday Queen's.

And for us, like Russian, it's really, you know, important to try to do faster. I don't know if I can do this week to do something.

Tsk.  Why you gotta be hatin' like that, France?  Still holding a grudge for that whole "Napoleonic Wars" thing?

At any rate, au revoir, Kolya.  It was good to see you back.  Nice run, too bad about General Sod.  And as a farewell, I'll include my favourite picture ever of Nikolai Davydenko:

Good times.  

Who Knew?

Seriously, Maria, it has to be said.  Well done.  Well done.  Would anyone ever have guessed that she'd make her comeback at a Slam on her least favourite surface after 10 months out and actually improve on her performance from last year?  That's pretty fucking amazing, actually.

Fan or not, you'd have to have a heart of absolute stone not to appreciate what Maria Sharapova's been through in the last year or so, and not to be able to admire her comeback at Roland Garros.  Even if she did run out of steam so completely today that Domi didn't have to do much other than keep the ball in play to guarantee herself an emphatic win.  

A lot of people might be disappointed that she lost so decisively to someone she's always beaten in the past, but I say that's crap.  Masha had no business getting past the second round here, but she did, and then she just kept going... and going... and going.  Speaking as someone who's not a fan, and really does not buy into the "tennis needs Maria Sharapova" argument, I still can't help but be moved by what she did here.  

So, congratulations, Maria.  And welcome back.

Finally, Normalcy Is Restored in Safin(a)land

She needed a tough match.  She got one.  There was some of this...

... and some of this...

... and finally some of this...

I love how she always looks kind of sheepish when she wins a match like that.

Vika came out and took more games off Dina in 23 minutes than Dina had previously lost in the entire rest of the tournament.  It was ridiculous, who serves 93% and has 1 unforced error?  That's not normal.  All credit to her, though, it was one of the cleanest sets of tennis I've ever seen.  It was also entirely obvious that she wasn't going to be able to keep it up, but when you've gotten in a Safin's head, you rarely have to keep being perfect in order to win.  Dina looked a little shocked, as if perhaps skipping directly from a first-round quality match to the quarterfinals was a step or 18 too far.  If it were Marat, Vika would have won in straights.  (Okay, mental image.  Hilarious.)  However, it was Dinara, so it all ended like this for Vika:

(Dance Recital Fail)

Way to keep it together, Dina.  Also, how awesome is it when she wins a match and her press conference is all "Urrrrrrrghhhhhh... I suck!"  Pretty fucking awesome.  Ha.

L Robz In Da House

Apparently the she's abandoned Ana and is looking up to Dina now. 

Where's the loyalty, kid?  (Though...can't blame her.)

Girls and Boys' singles has started.  L Rob came back from a set down to win her first match.

Did I mention she's the #1 ranked girl now?  You go, Glen Coco!

RG: Tuesday OOP

Court Philippe Chatrier 14:00
1. Women’s Singles – Qtr. Finals
Dinara Safina (RUS)[1] v. Victoria Azarenka (BLR)[9]
2. Men’s Singles – Qtr. Finals
Andy Murray (GBR)[3] v. Fernando Gonzalez (CHI)[12]
3. Mixed Doubles
Nathalie Dechy (FRA) v. Nadia Petrova (RUS)[4]
Andy Ram (ISR) Max Mirnyi (BLR)[4]

Court Suzanne Lenglen 14:00
1. Men’s Singles – Qtr. Finals
Robin Soderling (SWE)[23] v. Nikolay Davydenko (RUS)[10]
2. Women’s Singles – Qtr. Finals
Dominika Cibulkova (SVK)[20] v. Maria Sharapova (RUS)
3. Women’s Doubles – Qtr. Finals
Su-Wei Hsieh (TPE)[9] v. Agnieszka Radwanska (POL)
Shuai Peng (CHN)[9] Urszula Radwanska (POL)

Court 1 11:00
1. Men’s Doubles – Qtr. Finals
Daniel Nestor (CAN)[1] v. Igor Kunitsyn (RUS)
Nenad Zimonjic (SRB)[1] Dmitry Tursunov (RUS)
2. Women’s Doubles – Qtr. Finals
Cara Black (ZIM)[1] v. Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA)[10]
Liezel Huber (USA)[1] Nadia Petrova (RUS)[10]
3. Men’s Doubles – Qtr. Finals
Marc Lopez (ESP) v. Bob Bryan (USA)[2]
Tommy Robredo (ESP) Mike Bryan (USA)[2]
4. Mixed Doubles
Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) v. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS)
Mark Knowles (BAH) Bruno Soares (BRA)

Air Quotes: This Is Just To Say...

... that I totally stole this from gauloises.  But it was so funny, and my crush so unexplained.

Ahem.

Q. You wrote something on the camera. Can you tell us what you wrote? It was pretty long and it was written with a doctor's writing, so we couldn't read what you said. We never know what you write because it's written upside down.

TOMMY ROBREDO: Well, I started writing a poem instead of signing, just to write something and to do something different. But nothing. Nothing special really. I wrote something like, One day I was a kid, or something like that. And at the end, I wrote, Ahahaha. I just wanted to write something different.

Hmmm.  My crush doesn't exactly seem more rational after that.  Nevertheless.  Oh well.  I'll just sit over here by myself.

Pic This: Stubbsy Will Fuck. You. Up. If You Blow This.

She either really likes Sam or really hates Gypsys.  Or both.  Probably both.

The Term "Elf" Can Be Deceiving, Jo-Willy

How did Elf being a more than competent clay courter sneak up on me like this?  Or was I just not paying attention?  Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's 7 feet tall and, no matter what the surface, can just send shots down like bombs.  Including serves.  Maybe especially serves.  During the bit of the match that was actually on TV, the broadcasters whipped out the "game clock" and timed JMDP winning a service game in under a minute.  Uh, what?  (And no, before you ask, it was not four aces.  But it was at least two.)

Also, has this picture been floating around under the radar, or is it another thing I missed?  Because it's pretty much the most adorable thing ever.

Besides JMDP generally controlling things at will, Jo-Willy just looked a little flat.  Not counting the second set, he hit more than twice as many UEs as JMDP.  I guess it's probably jarring to go from playing Christoph Rochus, who might be an actual elf, to playing some guy everyone calls "Elf", but is actually a skyscraper.  Too bad for the home crowd, but it's nice to see "the best of the rest" living up to his potential.

Pic This: Sigh. I Miss Rafa.

It's just not the same.

Non-Event of the Day

What's that?  Tommy Haas was up 2 sets to love on Roger Federer, with a break point to serve for the match in the third set?

Yeah.  Never mind.

Oh well.  Better luck next time.

I still can't decide if Roger was wigging out the first two and three-quarters sets because of the whole Rafa thing, or if it was just Fed These Days.  It really looked like Fed realizing he might lose the match and Tommy realizing he might win it happened pretty much simultaneously.  And is anyone else starting to get nervous watching Mirka in these matches?  

If You Made These Picks, Please Contact Me Immediately Regarding Powerball

Well, either I want your lottery numbers or when you say you made these picks... you're lying.

• Last Spaniard Standing: Tommy Robredo
• Quarterfinalists Out of Lena D's Section: Sam Stosur and Sorana Cirstea

Congratulations to all of them.  It's nice for Robredo to be the Spanish star (for two days), and Sam and Sorana must be thrilled, what with both of them making their first Slam (singles) QFs and one of them guaranteed into the semis.  Who woulda thunk it?

"Code Violation: Fashion Don't. Warning, Miss Radwanska."

So, yeah yeah yeah, there was a match between Kuzzy and Aga today, and it was really important because they'd both been playing well coming in and Aga's won 3 of their last 4 matches, and if either of them were going to move on, they both needed a good challenge from a strong player to really test where they are in their games.

But it got about 14 million times better because MO WAS UMPING!!!!  Seriously, this is the trade-off.  I'm willing to put up with the lack of on-court coaching entertainment at Slams if it means I can have Mo umping WTA matches.  What Aga was wearing today wasn't even that bad...

(Exhibit A)

... but Mo would be just the guy to straighten her out.  Dude, that woulda been awesome.  (Although, he clearly hasn't seen the TTC Rad Sisters profile, because he insisted on pronouncing her name Rad-VAN-ska, not Rad-VINE-ska.  Pfffft.)

Anyway, it was sort of a crazy match, always all about Sveta.  She was just sane enough to get the first set.  Lost it in the second and pulled it back together in the third (after pulling Ye Olde Lena D and going to change after the second set).  Good for her to know she can lose it a bit and still pull out a fairly solid win over a tough opponent, but the whole match was still kind of random.  

Her presser, as always, was full of awesomeness.  This was my favourite:

Q. Can you talk about the coaching relationship, how that's going and what you're learning?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: It's going great. I enjoy working with Larisa, because she's not only my coach, she's my friend. This is great. For me, atmosphere in the team, it's means alot.
Now I have my hitting partner, which is 22, my massagist [sic] which is 24. So it's funny, you know. In some way I just start to think about it right now, and it's very funny. But I enjoy it so much. I cannot explain it.

Q. Why is that funny?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Because everybody is so young. We're like in school almost. A little bit grown school.

Q. Are you the school teacher or are you the student?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I'm medium. I'm in between. Larisa is the mama of us, kind of. No, she's not definitely mama. She's like my sister, but older sister which tells me what to do sometimes.

LOL.

Taking the High Road

You know, fans can have goals for tournaments, too.  It's not just for the athletes!  So, my goal for this tournament, which came over me very suddenly this morning, is acceptance.  That's right.  No more will I allow the gloating fans, the crazy smack talk, or the turning up at Slams out of nowhere and destroying my favourites to bother me.  Dude, I got other shit to do.  I got books to read.  So, feel the Serena love.  I even watched the match!  Well... as much of it as TTC showed.  I guess a blowout is no fun no matter who's playing.

Anyway, Serena looked good.  Not that anyone could possibly have expected her to have any trouble with Aleks Wozniak.  There were some points that Aleks played really really well, and even more that she... didn't.  A clay court specialist she is not, bless.  

Serena's starting to find her shots and solidify her movement, so her game is (as usual) getting more secure as the tournament progresses.  There's not much else to say except that the farther she goes in any given tournament, the more likely she is to win it.  Serena in tennis tournaments is the complete opposite of the concept of "half life".  Double life?  Is there such a thing?  Help a girl out, science peeps.  And also, this picture cracked my shit up: