Forty Deuce

Pic This: Awww...She's Adorbz.

Pic This: Oh, Sara. You Make Me Laugh.

Team Italia celebrating their Fed Cup win in Italy.

 

Sara looks like she literally just came from a poker game.

Pic This: Team Jacob

This whole Vika on Twitter thing is going to be awesome.

Pic This: [Insert Resigned Sigh]

Pic This: How Do I Pledge?

Best Frat Ever.

I propose a new Davis Cup/Fed Cup tradition: A Champions Ball.  FUCK YEAH.


The man can wear a suit, that's for sure.

I'm sad he's not carrying his pocket square in his mouth.

JESUS CHRIST, DUDE.

Pic This: "This Is A Vase"

"...for my dick."

The Hunk-a-Hunk of Burning Aussie Love won the AEGON Champions Cup in London, beating Stefan (the tennis player, not the chef).

Pic This: Sluuuuuuuurp

Yesterday we got Goran and Paddy, today we get Stefan.  I'm so ok with this.

Pic This: New Balls, Please

Now we know what Gauloises looks like!

Pic This: Fall In To The Gap...Of JJ's MIND.

I kinda want off-season JJ all the time.  This needs to be your job, honey.

 

Oh, Mladjan.  You need a new facial expression.  Cutie, though.

Pic This: The More Things Change, The More JJ Stays The Same

JJ was in Belgrade promoting her Mona line again. 

And it's pretty much as JJ-ey as JJ can ever JJ.

Get it?  She's a star!

 

Come to think about it, JJ is Sydney Bristow.  But like...without the whole "I'm dressing like this because it's my job/look at me I'm being ironic/tongue in cheek!" excuse.

Pic This: Mr. Hyde and...Mr. Hyde.

 

Don't worry, folks.  Dina's still alive.

 

Oh, geez.

(Pics from 200 Proof)

Pic This: Remember Her?

Kim and Jada pose for You! Magazine.

 

She looks great.

Pic This: The Mad Men Of Putnam, Powell, and Loeb

 

I'd totally watch the spin off.

Pic This: "So You Come Here Askin' Me For A Favor..."

 

Pic This: Doin' The Cannes Cannes

JJ and Mladjan vacationing in Cannes. 

What is with the Serb ladies and their love of black tights?

Pic This: Ula Radwanska Is Too Good For Dan Brown.

Look! WTAers like to read!

You're welcome, boys.

Heh.  Makes me think of this:

 

THE BOOBY SCARE Featuring Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel, Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King - watch more funny videos

Touch a tit, save a tit.

Pic This: Nice Slap Bracelets, Ana.

Ana at a Zira promotion in Belgrade last month. 

The slap bracelets are killing me.

Multicolored matchy matchy slap bracelets, at that.

 

And we know how much she loves recycling outfits.  Here she is rocking the boho look in Singapore with Adam "Miami Vice" Scott.  If he's Crockett then that would make Ana....

Heh.

Pic This: Oddly, The Ponytail Is An Ugrade.

Ana was in Australia this week cheering on Adam at the Australian Masters (he finished 6th).  Man, she really loves those tights.

But there's good news for those of us who follow Ana's career by the state of her acne-riddled forehead.  It looks all clear, so let's hope the same goes for her mind.

Pic This: Puff Daddy

Rafa and Xisca have been enjoying the Paris sights.

Very Blair and Chuck.  But, like, not insane.

 

Pic This: Bones.

Nole continued his tradition of taking the court in Bercy in a mask. 

I prefer his Zorro look.  More sexy, less skully.

Pic This: Creepy.

Pic This: One More for the Road...

It wouldn't be the end of the WTA season without one more chance to laugh at people for being completely incapable of dressing themselves.  Some of them are getting distressingly (read: boringly) good at it, but you know there'll always be one WTFer in the group.  Or two, or three.

A lot of things about this frighten me.  Mainly that, with the faces upside down, it looks like she's wearing a minidress with a Marilyn Manson print.  Also, the eyes.  Freaky.

 

This looks kind of like a bridesmaid's dress I had to wear once, if you cut the skirt off about three and a half feet from the bottom.

[snicker]

Oh dear.  Someone needs to introduce Bepa to these.

I'm not gonna lie: something about the geranium over her ladybits weirds me out.

I need to know what Lena did that they decided she needed a mug shot.

I totally picture Dinara's closet having a "little black dress" section and a "big pink t-shirt" section and... that's it.

LOLZ.

Dig in, Caro.

But really, learn to cross your legs when you're sitting in a dress, honey.  Your wantonness is making Dina sad.  (Then again, what doesn't?)

Stubbsy!  Oy, Ula, we'll talk later.

And, for the creme de la creme, cherry on the sundae, there is the video.  I watched it like 18 times.  Don't make me start liking you, girls.  You know who you are.

Now Wait Just One Motherfucking Goddamn Second.

Bali got Arts and Crafts?  BALI???  How can you have WTA Arts and Crafts without Agi?!?

RIP, Swayze.

"No, it's cool.  A Star of David would look awesome right there."

Man, they really took this seriously.  Apparently the "artwork" will be auctioned for charity.

 

L.O.L.  Of course, Sam.  Of course.

Pic This: Alexandre P. Keatonov

(Nickname courtesy of Sodapop)

So Teimuraz Gebashvili and Marat went to an orphanage and Marat proceeded to take pictures with one of the cutest children I have ever, ever seen.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Safin; I hope you had time to review my briefing on the business proposal?"

 

"As I'm sure you read, the market is ripe for a reality show/sitcom based around an aging athlete and his 4-year-old genius sidekick."

"I've been working on a new shot for the glossies.  I think it's gonna be a hit."

Pic This: Oh, Honey. No.

Ana was in Scotland Singapore last week cheering on Adam at the Singapore Open.  Her support helped.  He finished third. 

But oh, that look.  WOW.  That takes effort.  Someone page Dragana, stat.

BTW -- If you want a good laugh, read this.  These two were so MFEO.

Pic This: Giving Kids The FeVer

Daddies in Valencia, lock up your daughters. 

FeVer's in town and he has no mercy.

Pic This: Babysitters Club

While the big girls hit the court to get their YEC on, Agi and Bepa babysat.

With all due respect to Agi and Bepa's tennis skillz, why they aren't holding arts and crafts and diplomacy clinics is a mystery.  Talk about a lost opportunity.

Pic This: Ecstasy on Wall

Dina's photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar.

The side "boob" is really what makes this one couture.

Further confirmation that the woman is 84% leg.

My name is Dinara Derevko, you killed my mother, prepare to die.

I have a confession to make.  I may have played around and rotated this picture 90 degrees clockwise. 

And laughed for a very long time.

(Pics from Tennis Forum)

Pic This: Elena, Aga, Please Pack Your Knives and Go.

Plating was not their strong suit.

Let's just be happy they spelled Whirlpool correctly. 

The WTA Subject Tutoring programming is coming along nicely.

Pic This: "Baby Are You Down Down Down Down Down..."

Pico goes out 4 and 4 to The Whistleblower in Stockholm.

Pic This: Still Looking for a Hero? I Believe We Have New Options. (UPDATE)

Is this for some WTA late-nite ad campaign?  Because otherwise I can't figure out what the hell is going on.  And if anyone has a clue why Barbara Schett is involved, I'd be extremely interested in some clarification.  (I'm not so sure of some of the IDs, either, so feel free to correct.)

So, because I don't really know what to say about it... here, without further comment or ado, are the pictures.  

(Aga and Timea Bacsinszky)

(Anna-Lena Groenefeld)

 

(Barbara Schett)

(Tatjana Malek)

 

(Anna-Lena Groenefeld and... Catwoman)

(Tamira Paszek)

(Pictures from Barbara at Fierce Tennis)

Pic This: High on a Hill with a Lonely Goatherd...

Oh, man, Linz's costume party is just the best.  Does anyone know if they get to pick out their own dirndls?

Somehow, her hair really makes this.

 

On grass, indeed.

 

I am very sure I saw her at a junior ice dance competition this year.

 

This is just too much.

Wandered off the set of the remake of Heidi?

 

Looks like the party included a reenactment of this scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

 

"Danke schoen... Darlin', danke schoen..."

Well, there's always a fucking party pooper.

Pic This: They Didn't Have This on that Shinkansen I Took in Tokyo

I truly believe that the ATP and WTA's combined mission to force their players to play "tennis" on every ridiculous surface imagineable (helipads, fountains, water, on top of cars...) knows no bounds.  Today's victims?  Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Fernando Verdasco, and a Maglev train.

 

 

LOLZ, Nando, what the hell is that pose about?

 

Jo-Willy looks like he's afraid he's about to get shat on by a bird.

 

Contemplating how he will never get roped into doing anything like this again.  At least, not until January.

(Yes, yes, of course there's video...)

Pic This: STELLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!

New Spring 2010 gear from Stella for Adidas.

Cute, if not a little Kelly Kapowski.

More pics at TSF.

Pic This: Wait, Where'd Your Hands Go?

Always adorable in a presser.  But then...there's this sequence:

 

Pic This: Hey Look! Masha's Butt.

That is all.

Pic This: That's One Way To Cope

Pic This: Ed Hardy? More Like Ed RETARDY. Am I Right?

You really should not be caught in public looking like this guy.

Pic This: Hot Is Hot In Any Language

Pic This: Aw, Shucks...

Pic This: Ahem.

Double The Crazy, Double The Fun

Dina and Kuz are teaming up in Bejing and they won their first match 60 60.

And trust.  They are bringing both the badassery...

 

...and the soft lips.

Together they're unbeatable.  At least as of today.  Sveta beat Jay-Z in straights and Dina actually won a match.  Bring on the revolution!

Pic This: Please Tell Me They Were On The Same Flight

Winning looks good on you.

 

So I guess that answers the question.  The Fly is in China.

Weak sauce, JJ.

Pic This: Around Beijing

Big Sasha!

Sigh....

Here's the thing.  For the longest time all the stories coming out about Ivo were about how fucking shy he was.  Yet all that I can remember of him for the past year is booty slapping dances, explicit rapping, and pics like this.  Shy people don't do that shit, yo.

 

Love her.

 

Pinky.

 

In Mother Russia, pink wears you.

Pic This: It's A Holy Number

Uh, "Seven"?  When did that happen? 

Something tells me Sunshine and Sugar made that for him during Bunny Ranch arts and crafts.

Nice to see these two back together again, even if for only a bit.

 

Pound it out.

Pic This: Is Pleasure To Be On Court, No?

Rafa's been pretty damn adorable in Beijing.

Pure unadulterated joy.

 

My fave.

Pic This: Hey! You! No panhandling! Get out of here!

Pic This: Someone Didn't Sleep Well On The Plane...

Quick!  Someone check the passenger manifest for one "Safin, Marat."

Pic This: "Get Zorin For Me"

Pic This: Don't Need Nothing, But A Good Time.

Looks like Rafa had a good time at his "Abs Away" party.

BTW -- He's confirmed for Davis Cup.  Sorry, Czech Republic.