Forty Deuce

Psst. Sveta. It's Called, "Pleading the Fifth".

Or whatever the Australian equivalent of the right against self-incrimination is.  Y'all have that down there, right?  

So someone asked Sveta today about Elena Bychkova's gambling suspension, and her reaction was completely bizarre.  

First, she was surprised, and sounded defensive about Bychkova...

  "'For me, when they told me, I was really surprised,' Kuznetsova said.
   'Myself, I had never heard of the rule that you have to report it. I
   don't know exactly the thing going on with her, and definitely I will ask
   and go deeper into the subject because I think it's very important. If
   people come to me and ask something, I say no - I didn't know I had to
   go [and report the approach]. Maybe she didn't know either, so how can
   we say she is guilty?'"

Then she said she wasn't defending her...

  "'I have no idea if she's guilty, this is what I am saying,'' Kuznetsova said.
   'I don't want to defend her because I don't know the topic.'"

Then, of course, she was asked if she had ever been approached to fix a match and her answer was, erm, less than clearly convincing:

  "'Asked if she'd been approached, Kuznetsova offered a less than emphatic
   denial. 'Well, you know, if I say yes, they are going to send me home,' she
   said."

Ummmmmmmmmmm.  Where's that lawyer Yanina used to get her out of the drug suspension?  Sveta might want her card.

That said, Sveta followed that up with a good point about the athletes needing to understand not just the rule about reporting approaches, but also what actually constitutes an approach:

  "Approaches can be different. You can think it's a joke but maybe
   somebody else thinks it can be for real. You might not get if it's an
   approach or not. Do I have to go and tell WTA every joke I get about
   approach? You never know. I think we just need a better explanation
   about that."

The WTA, of course, of course, claims that the athletes have all the information they need:

  "WTA vice-president Andrew Walker said players had been educated
   about corruption in the sport and the association's zero-tolerance policy
   towards it...

  "'The Tour has a comprehensive program in place that included in-person
   education where the Tennis Integrity Program rules were reviewed,
   including affirmative obligations on players such as the requirement to
   report approaches.'"

This is part of a definite pattern of the WTA claiming that it educates its players perfectly well about the rules when it comes to important matters (Roadmap, match-fixing) and the players clearly exhibiting that they have no idea what's going on.  You'll have to forgive me if-- having grown up in close proximity to powerful sports federations-- I always side with the athletes when it comes to these things.  I've seen governing bodies fail to properly inform athletes of major requirements, then punish them for not acting correctly, one too many times.

That said, Sveta may want to read up on that self-incrimination thing.  It can come in really handy.

Something Tells Me It's All Happening At the Zoo...

I love when people make the rounds at Australian zoos.  Although, they all hold koalas, and all I can think of is this one time when Michelle Kwan had to hold a koala in Australia and afterwards she said it really smelled bad.

This year, A-Rod and Brooklyn made a tandem visit.  Brooklyn looked very skeptical.

The look on Andy's face makes me LOL.

Looks like Brooklyn's not used to seeing a snake that... No, too easy.

Other people went, too, as seen in this picture of Jelena feeding a kangaroo with a suspciously red glint in its eye.

And, of course, Ana making out with a sea lion.

Yeah, I dunno.

Baby E Takes Controversial Anti-Violence Stance, Looks Pretty Doing It.

Baby E is a UNICEF ambassador and her cause is UNICEF's "Schools Without Violence" program, which looks to stop bullying behavior before it gets out of hand in Serbian primary schools.

Based on different programmes aimed at prevention of violence and bullying conducted in Europe and the world, UNICEF in Serbia, together with a number of its partners, began in 2005 the implementation of the “School without Violence – Towards Safe and Enabling Environment” programme.  The main objective of this programme, intended for children, school teachers, parents and the local community, is to decrease and prevent violence among school children in Serbia. It teaches children and adults different techniques on how to manage conflict and promotes friendship and tolerance in schools. 

I'm going to be honest.  At first I thought the program was about getting weapons and criminal violence out of schools.  But based on UNICEF's description of the program, it sounds like an anti-bullying/anti-Gossip Girl thing.  Not that there's anything wrong with that (catch them when they're young, I always say), but it sounds like this program is designed to raise money to send Tina Fey to schools and do her schtick:

Pete Loves McCain, Not So Much His Fellow Greek Sistas.

Nevermind that Pistol Pete is a Republican, that much is weird in and of itself but for whatever reason, not all that surprising.  As one of my Red State friends always says "If you're rich and you're not a Republican, you're a communist."  Yeah, he's rich.  And I'm actually kind of with him insofar as I could care less what athletes and celebrities say about politics.

BUT THE DUDE DOESN"T KNOW WHO TINA FEY IS??!?!?  That's like saying you've never seen sunshine, puppies, and you hate America.  I feel sad for you, Pete.  Oh so very sad.

(I'm totally kidding folks.  Pete was just messing around.  This is just an excuse for me to post some T. Fey goodness.)

 

UPDATED: Masha Simply Refuses to Give Ana The Spotlight.

Not even a week has passed since Nanadoo made headlines and lit up the blogosphere "front page".  But Masha, the marketing machine that she is, hopped into action and quickly got herself a boyfriend. 

ALLEGEDLY, anyway:

That's Charlie Ebersol, Dick Ebersol's son.  Dick Ebersol is the president of NBC/Universal Sports.

Uh, I don't buy it.  She's a pretty private person.  I don't see her doing a public unveiling like this. 

I also refuse to believe that Masha would be attracted to a dude that wears THAT much gel in his hair and clearly exfoliates daily.  I guess she and Baby E. DO have something in common.

UPDATED: Mainstream media is picking this up and it looks to be kinda confirmed.  I'm surprised but happy for her (like she cares).

Mardy Marries Fish Lips. No Word On Whether He Wore Socks.

All kidding aside, it looked like a gorgeous wedding.  I've always loved the black and red motif.

Cooking With Baby Beluga.

She's adorable.

Masha Believes Children Are Our Future. Teach Them Well and Let Them Lead the Way.

This is pretty cool.  From Masha's site:

Maria announced today that she is launching a $210,000 scholarship programme for students from Chernobyl-affected areas of Belarus. The programme is a joint initiative of the Maria Sharapova Foundation and the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP), where she serves as Goodwill Ambassador. The scholarships will enable 12 talented young people from Chernobyl-affected regions to follow a full course of studies at two leading universities in Belarus.

Maria's foundation has already contributed $100,000 to youth-oriented projects in the regions of Belarus, the Russian Federation, and Ukraine affected by the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear accident.

Maria was expected to travel to Belarus to launch the scholarship programme in person this month, but was forced to postpone her visit in order to receive medical treatment for a shoulder injury that prevented her from participating in the Beijing Olympics and the US Open. Her visit is now planned for 2009.   

"It has always been my dream to contribute to the recovery of a region where I have a personal connection," said Maria, who has family roots in Gomel, Belarus. "Enabling talented young people to pursue higher education is part of a broader effort to build a brighter future for the region."

"UNDP is honoured to count Maria Sharapova among its Goodwill Ambassadors," commented Kemal Derviş, UNDP Administrator. "Her engagement helps to convey a message of optimism to young people in a once-blighted region where a return to normal life is now a realistic prospect."

The Maria Sharapova Foundation Scholarship for Youth from the Chernobyl-Affected Areas of Belarus -- as the programme is called -- will award five-year scholarships consisting of annual cash grants to 12 students at the Belarusian State Academy of Arts and the Belarusian State University. The programme aims to assist talented students who might otherwise not have an opportunity to attend university.  The Maria Sharapova Foundation will select the scholarship winners from shortlists prepared by the universities, working together with UNDP and the Ministry of Emergencies of Belarus, which is responsible for Chernobyl programmes. Three incoming students will be awarded scholarships each year, over an initial four-year period. It is the first instance in Belarus in which an international non-government organization will provide support of this type to education. The first scholarship recipients will begin their studies in September 2009.

That Is One Square-Jawed Dude.

It is a universal truth that all water polo players are hot.  You can try and argue with me, but you can't.  They just are. 

So it can't shock anyone that JJ has hooked herself up with a water poloist.  The funny thing is that she met him in Beijing during the Olympics.  Seriously, was ANYONE from Serbia there to play tennis?  Sheesh.

Dude is handsome (I personally don't dig on beefcakes), but I kinda liked her non-smiling ex-boyfriend.  He looked like a cross between a hipster (if those exist) and a douchey I-Banker:

"Fashion Show! Fashion Show! Fashion Show At Lunch!"

So Maria is apparently back in NYC to announce her new partnership with Cole Haan Sporting, a line of sporty clothes for Cole Haan (C Note note:  For you ladies who would rather wear Nike's then Manolos, seriously, check out the Cole Haan Air collection.  They're really really cute heels that incorporate Nike's Air techology.  SO comfy!).

The Sporting line, which will include 40 casual styles for women and 30 for men, will carry ballet-style Mary Janes, elevated wedges and sandals in fuschia, orange and cobra for women and boat shoes and lace-ups for men in bold and neutral shades. Prices will range from $115 to $200. Between the colors, styling and Ms. Sharapova’s association, the line is meant to appeal to a young, active and fashion-conscious consumer.

“I’m not coming into the company to make the Maria pump,” she says. “I’m there to add that really young touch and flavor to it.”

Damn it!  I would so rock me some Maria pumps to court. 

But of no bum shoulder is going to hold her back from visiting some shows, too.  Pics of Masha, Venus, and Serena at Fashion Week below. 

And can I just say it again?  Rehab is doing the Masha VERY GOOD.

Fierce!

Aww...cute!

Just keeping the seat warm for Fed I see.

Not sure if this is at Fashion Week or Madame Tussaud's.

I'm going to burn in hell but I can't help it.  Sometimes, when Serena dresses up, she looks like a drag queen.  And I live in the Castro so I KNOW me some drag queens.

She also looks awfully uncomfortable sometimes.

Pic This: Too Much Awesomeness/Randomness For One Picture.

(from left to right, Kate Mara (Heath's kid from Brokeback), Elizabeth Banks (AWESOME), Nastya Liukin (tiny!), and Masha (love!), at Fashion Week)

Bali Fashion Show Pics: Who's the Drag Queen in Green?

Shuai Peng (nice!)

Nadia Petrova (why?!?)

Anastasia Rodionova (ah, the classic "looky loo")

SuperGirl Dani (constipated?)

Seriously, Dani is gorgeous, but she needs to learn how to work what she's got.  Walking like your arms are taped to your side is not sexy.  It's awkward just looking at her.

How many elephants can you fit in a Peugeot? What if they're Baby Elephants?

Baby Elephant just keeps getting cuter and more awesomer.  From Forbes Auto:

Tennis star Ana Ivanovic doesn't have much time to drive, but that hasn't stopped Verano, the Serbian distributor of French automaker Peugeot, from sponsoring her.

"Actually, my current car is the only one I've ever owned. I only passed my test two years ago," says the 20-year old Serb of the 2007 Peugeot 207 she got as part of the endorsement deal.

Ivanovic spends most of the year traveling to tournaments, where she's whisked from place to place by a hired driver. When not on tour, she relishes every opportunity to get behind the wheel.

"For me it's relaxing to just go out in my car and drive for an hour or so," Ivanovic says. "At home in Switzerland there is beautiful countryside, and it's the same in Belgrade. When I visit my family I sometimes drive near the rivers."

Ivanovic is the top-ranked player on the WTA Tour. She's the ninth highest paid pro tennis player, according to Forbes.com's latest ranking of Tennis' Top Paid Stars, having pulled in $8 million in prize money and sponsorship fees over the past 12 months.

This is Baby Elephant's car:


I actually love small compact cars that look like European rally cars, so I dig the Peugeot.  But seriously, where do I begin.

She is 6'1''.  How the hail does she fit into that thing and toodle around in it.  Just the thought of her all folded up cruising the Swiss countryside is making me laugh uncontrollably.

According to Motor Trend, the Peugeot 207 is a subcompact, which is the equivalent to a Honda Fit or Toyota Yaris, both sold in the States.  She is one of the top 10 grossing female athletes according to Forbes, and this is her car?  How AWESOME is that?  That's like when I found out that Helen Hunt, back in her Mad About You days, drove a Volvo.  It's just so practical and down to earth of her.  I have a lot of friends who live in San Francisco and make 7 figure salaries who drive beat up Hondas and old Toyota Camries because they travel too much to make it practical to own a nice car.  I find that quite admirable, especially in today's keeping up with the Joneses society.

Anyway, good on Ana.  I didn't think you could go up in my book but you just did.  And here's hoping that Peugeot springs for a convertible model next.  Because seriously, it's adorable!

Other tennis players' cars according to the article:

• James Blake: 07 Lincoln Navigator, 07 Porsche 911 Turbo, and 04 Cadillac Escalade
• Jelena Jankovic: 08 Porsche 911, eyeing an Aston Martin
• Agnes Szavay: Audi A3 Cabriolet 2.0 TDI
• Maria Sharapova: Land Rover Supercharged
• Daniela Hantuchova: 02 Porsche Boxster, 05 Land Rover Range Rover, 08 Porsche Cayenne
• Robby Ginepri: 03 Cadillac Escalade, 06 BMW M6
• Tommy Robredo: 07 Mercedes Benz ML500
• Nadia Petrova: 08 Porsche Cayenne
  

Nike Party Pictures: Is Masha doing for Nike what Sharon Stone did for Gap?

Nike shut down a block in NYC at their 21 Mercer shop on Thursday night and invited their really good but kinda slumping players for a block party.   No word if Bloc Party was invited.




I've said it once and I'll say it again.  Rehab is doing Masha GOOD.

Masha schills Canon, won't let you forget she has a bum shoulder.

Masha won't be competing at the US Open, but that won't keep her away from the Big Apple.  She's there doing a bunch of promotional activities and today she was debuting some $12,000 Canon camera that's encrusted with diamonds.  Maria however, defender of the proletariat that she is, somehow got Canon to just give these suckers away!  Well, at least 5 of them. 

See?  Who says tennis is a bourgeois sport?

I'm not gonna lie.  I totally entered to win one.  It has diamonds on it people!

   

Arizona is doing our Masha some good.  Girl is looking fantastic.  The dress?  Eh, not so much.  It looks like a Project Runway challenge gone wrong.

Auf Wiedersehen!

(Pics from Tennis Forum)

"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it."

The Serbian press (so take it with a grain of salt) is reporting that Nole has hooked up with Leryn Franco, a javelin thrower from Paraguay. 

Apparently she was at every one of his matches in Beijing and they took this pic in the Village together:

Question #1: Since when do javelinists (javeliniers? javeliners?) look like this?  I'm sorry, I refuse to live in a world where javeliners look like this:

Question #2:  What happened to Jelena, his super sweet looking Serbian girlfriend of many years?  I thought they were so cute together and she's adorable.  Plus he's been with her since his first title. 

Please Nole, don't be that guy.  Don't "upgrade".

(Pics from Yahoo!, Great Tennis Photos, and Nole's site)

Masha rehabs shoulder, powers down The Robot

Our non-fancy-dress-at-the-US-Open-wearing friend Masha is currently holed up in Arizona rehabbing that pesky right shoulder of hers.

But it's not all sweat and tears.  Masha has taken the time out of her busy schedule to explore her inner artist.  Here, in honor of Beijing and the Chinese buddhist philosophy which emphasizes the importance of balance or, as most westerners know, Yin and Yang, Masha poses in front of ancient, beautiful, natural rock formations, while doing The Robot.

Nature meets Technology.  The Past Meets the Future.  Diva Maria meets Dorky Maria.

Pova:  Artistic Genius.

(Pics from MariaSharapova.com)

Pam Shriver was a Bond girl?

Pam Shriver has filed for divorce in Los Angeles Superior Court from her husband, George Lazenby.  Yes, George Lazenby of 007 fame. 

No funny jokes here.  I don't laugh at divorce unless Britney is involved.  But I had no idea that she was married to 007.

More Pics: They're cute. Nuff said.

You know it was only a matter of time before pictures came of Ana and Rafa on their way to lunch in Mallorca.  Is Rafa preparing to return serve there?  Is Ana avoiding walking on the sidewalk cracks?  These are the questions I need answered.

Again, the official position of Forty Deuce is that this is completely innocent and absolutely nothing is going on between these two.  They're just friends.

Who are becoming friendlier by the day. 

Just kidding.  I'll stop now.  No I won't.  If they ever hooked up they would have the most perfectly tanned, OCD, babies. Ok, now I'll stop.

Here are the rest:

 

Pictures courtesy of AI's Fan Forum and Tennis Forum.

More pics: Ana's Mallorcan Holiday

Some stalkerazzi pictures of Ana Ivanovic's hanging out with her boys (Dad, brother Milos, physio Scotty Byrnes, and her pop) in Mallorca.  As you can see, the best tan in the WTA don't come easy.  It's hard work, baby.

Can we get more pictures of Ana's brother, Milos, please?  He's a cutie.  Also, Sven needs to get out more.  Yeesh!

And yes, she did spend some time practicing while there.  Apparently her hitting partner was Rafa's best friend, Tomou Salva.

You can see more pictures here.  Much thanks to the AI Forums for the head's up.

Mallorca? What a coincidence!

Ana Ivanovic clearly needed a vacation after getting dumped out of SW19.  So after sitting down with a huge atlas AI settles for Mallorca. 

Wait, isn't that where Rafa lives?  Iiiiinteresting.

In addition to chillaxing with her family, AI took some time to do some interviews and photoshoots with the local press.  According to a poster at Tennis Forum, here's a summary of the articles:

"She has been there for about 2 weeks, and said that the first week was just for some rest, but since Monday she has been practicing. She is supposed to go to Montreal next week. The reporter says that Ana did the whole interview in Spanish and that she is beautiful, nice and the best tennis player in the world. She talks a little bit about the Olympic Games, about friendships on tour, that she likes to read books and watch TV shows. She also says great things about Mallorca, that the city is perfect, the food is wonderful and that she used to go train there when she was a 14 year old. The article states that there is a rumor around that she wants to buy a house there."

"Another article about Ana in Mallorca, from the newspaper Diario de Mallorca. This time they say that she is going to leave the island today. It has the same info the other one had, only adds that Rafa Nadal was Ana's host and showed the city to her. Also she says that she believes he will be number one sometime this year. She talks a little bit about the disapointment at Wimbledon, but she was really tired mentally and phisicaly, and couldn't be at 100%. The reporter describes Ana as extremely kind, careful with every detail, profesional, gigly and a also bit shy."

Don't worry kids, I know Rafa has got a steady hot girlfriend.  I just think it's funny that these two kids keep getting friendlier and friendlier.

You can see more pictures from AI's Mallorcan holiday at Greattennisphotos.com

Never trust a tramp-stamped-girl's definition of "classy"

Ashley Harkleroad's artsy Playboy pictorial has hit the web.  Go to WTA Tennis World if you want to see the censored pics. 

I'll be honest, I thought the pictures actually were going to be classier.  Like, she's naked lying in bed or in the shower or something.  Not "Hey I"m standing on a tennis court.  Let me lift my shirt and my skirt so you can see me in all my athletic glory!"  It's all so Hustler's Barely Legal, Volume 213.

But then I saw that sun-shaped tramp stamp on her lower back.  And then it all made sense.  She's totally THAT girl.

"Oompa Loompa, doopity doo. I have another puzzle for you."

So Ashley Harkleroad's Playboy spread (heh) is hitting the stands on Friday.  You can see the cover at Down the Line!  I just don't have the heart to post it on my PG-13 page.

Two things came to mind when I saw the picture:

1. Lady Sovereign's "Orange"
   

   Why not fling her on the window sill as a pumpkin,
   When it's approaching Halloween,
   Or on your English breakfast, place her next to the bacon,
   She could be the beans,
   And you always know wheres she's been,
   And you always know when she's had a pee,
   Cause the toilet seat ain't clean
   Cause the toilet seat has an orange sheen,
   Ching, bring out the detergent,
   Scrub that oompa loompa it's urgent,
   Have you seen her face it's disturbing,
   How much fake tan are you squirting,
   Err it's hurting my eyes, and your starting to look like the sunrise,
   And your fake tan's so ming, you're attracting flies!

2. The scene from 30 Rock where Jenna poses for Maxim, gets oiled up with salad dressing, and proceeds to slip and slide all over the red leather chaise lounge with a rubber chicken in her mouth (I've searched for a clip and damn those NBC copyright lawyers!).

I have no problem with Ashley posing for Playboy.  To each their own.  She's a better pin-up than a tennis player anyway (recent Fed Cup win notwithstanding). 

Sorry.  Was that harsh?  Well my opinion may have been influenced by her idiotic explanation during a press conference at Roland Garros for why she did it (by way of background, the surgery they're referring to was for an ovarian cyst that ruptured and required doctors to remove her right ovary in April):

Q.  You went through surgery and then posed for Playboy?

ASHLEY HARKLEROAD: Yeah. Like, I don’t know, I was just laying there for three weeks, and, you know, an offer came to me. I thought, Well, I’m not really doing anything right now. So I thought about it, and, you know, it was something that I did. I’m proud of my body. I was representing a female athlete’s body, you know.  Like Amanda Beard would have done, so, yeah.

Q. I guess the thing that people might be curious about is you had just had surgery, fairly traumatic surgery, so you might not have been in maybe tip top shape.

ASHLEY HARKLEROAD: Actually, I was like super thin, you know. I was like thinner than I probably would have been like muscle wise. But we did it in a course of like four different days, so I was working out like a week. My body was actually getting back to more muscular.  But, see, when I don’t play tennis I lose all my muscle, so I become like a size smaller in jeans and everything like that. But at the same time, you know, there was really nothing. I wasn’t really doing anything, and like I said, the offer came to me and I thought about it and decided that I would do it.

Q. I mean, Ashley, you’re weighing the pros and cons of doing that. Can you talk about what you thought the pros were and what the cons would be?

ASHLEY HARKLEROAD: You know, there’s a few reasons why I did it, but I can’t really go into it right now. You know, you can read it and you’ll understand probably more.
But like I said, I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal, you know. I’m proud of my body. I stay in shape and try to stay fit, so like I said, I’m just trying to represent a female athlete and her body. That can be sexy too, you know.

So basically she was bored and thinner than normal because of her traumatic surgery.  Yet she thinks she's accurately representing a female athlete's body.  That's like me being sick with pneumonia for months, losing 30 pounds as a result, and thinking "Hey, I'm going to do a photo shoot to represent what a professional working woman's body looks like." 

Perhaps making potentially life-altering decisions after having your ovary removed isn't the best way to go.  I'm just throwing it out there.

AI in FHM

There are many reasons why it sucked that AI lost in the first week at Wimbledon.  But none more awkward than the fact that the newly crowned world #1 appeared on the cover of British FHM the following week. 

She looks great, even though FHM decided to photoshop her arms to death.

Here are the rest of the pics. You're welcome.

And some of the outtakes have made it onto the web. 

 

Clearly his training program ain't working.

TMF's new Nike ad debuted during Wimbledon and it's not too shabby, primarily because anything involving Rhys Darby (Murray on Flight of the Conchords) automatically rules. 

There's no denying that Nike dominates when it comes to sports advertising.  From Tiger's ridiculous golf ball commercial to the U.S. Women's National Team's "I will have two fillings", Nike consistently delivers.  So just for the heck of it, I've included two of my other favorites below.

Maria's "I Feel Pretty" Ad, which officially turned me into a Maria fan.

And the Agassi/Sampras guerilla tennis ad, which is even more awesome because it was filmed in San Francisco.  I remember seeing this ad for the first time and thinking "Huh.  Sampras actually has a personality.  Cool."