Forty Deuce

Is It Me You're Looking For?

Thanks to GoToTennis for reminding me about this video, which I saw a while ago but forgot to post, mainly because I thought it was kind of "meh".  But it's worth seeing if you're a tennis fan.

For my money, this is the better "Hello" video:



It's like the best movie you've ever seen! Sorry. Correction. It's like the best creepy movie you've ever seen!!!

Hop Scot-ch.

Group A:

Group B:

I know I've already ranted about this on Twitter but I really do wish the seedings for the US and Serbia were swapped so that the US got Belgium in Group A and Serbia got Great Britain in Group B.  That would have given us a guaranteed Serena vs. Justine match, which I would actually pay to watch, and Ana vs. Robbie, which would have been fun for no one but me.  As it were, the seeding committee, through some "interesting" rationale, put Serbia first, then the US, GB, and Belgium.

And while I'm getting my complain on, I'm still bummed that Sam's playing Brisbane instead.  And that it's not Shveddy and Evgeny.  Or Gael and Aravane.  Or Jo.  Or even The Cone! 

Oh, Cone.  I miss you.  Team France really could have done better here.

Overall, those are pretty balaned groups, I'd say.  In terms of AO preparation, Andy's got a solid slate of matches lined up with Halpert and Gael, whereas Nole should cruise through his group play.  The ladies draw sets up some interesting matches, with Ana vs. Justine, Serena vs. Fran, and Robbie's first bite of the big apple vs. Serena. 

Mixed doubles is always the wildcard and more often than not, the decider.  And really, can you bet against these two geniuses?

ANYWAY, is it January yet?

 

 

Oh Boy. Here We Go.

  V. 

May God have mercy on our souls.

Oh. And ajde.

(Pics: Getty, AP)

Pic This: Shit Gets Weird In Asia.

 
The random ellipses, the smiley face, the economy of language. 

This may be the greatest fan sign ever.

Though, this one gets commitment points for refusing to let the fact that this match was played on indoor courts that fans could not access stop her from cheering on her man.

And "allez" he did.

Obligatory cute Jo pic.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

GGL is cute?

Jelena's not in Shanghai.  So...just sayin'.

Hands off, ladies. 

That sexy piece is aaaaaaaaaall mine.

Yawn.

It's a boy!

Uh oh, Maggie.  Papa's not happy.

Ok, I'm going to say this once and then I'm leaving it alone: 

I would not object to seeing Sod naked.

There.  I said it.  I'm gonna go take a hot bleach shower now.

(Pics: Getty, AP)

Run, E, Run!

Adorable video of Nole throwing on a hazmat suit to do some ATP Arts & Crafts, ala Rafa and Roger.

But the main thing I learned from this video: I could never work for the ATP.  I simply do not have the professionalism to run away from Nole if he's threatening me with a hug.  I probably would have just tackled him and sat on his face.

Or something.

Merry Christmas To ME.

"Wait, you're coming to Perth?"

"FUCK YEAH, I'M COMING TO PERTH! (or will at least try)"

YOU GUYS!!!

Ok, so obviouly the Hopman Cup lineup was already awesome.  Nole and Ana, Serena/Isner, um... Fran...Shveddy...other people.  But my super happy fun times pairing was finally confirmed today.  That's right, Robbo and Muzz will team up once again, with Andy trying not to fuck up again and lose Laura's diamonds.

Because they're hers, Andy.  They're hers.  You owe her and we all fucking know it. 

I actually missed their awesomeness last year because I was on vacation in Vietnam and, well, I know this is shocking, but they weren't exactly airing Hopman Cup in Saigon.  So I'm really hoping I get to experience this dreaminess (Nole, Andy, Ana, Robbie, oh my!) live or in person.

Because it...

will...

be...

AWESOME.

What's that?  You're not convinced that Hopman Cup is the greatest thing in tennis?  Well argue with this, this , this, and this.

COME ON! [/GOB]

(Pics: Getty)

 

 

 

Hai.

I guess being #1 and #2 don't mean what it used to.

The top 20 are all in Shanghai, which makes for some intriguing stuff.  Rafa and Nole are coming off tournament wins in Tokyo and Beijing, Muzz is coming off...whatever you want to call that loss to Lubey in Beijing, and Fed returns for the first time since his loss to Novak.

Play started yesterday and Jo took out Feli and Fernando lost to Thiemo.

And no, that's not me.

(Pic: Getty, AP)

Pic This: Hold Up. I Got Some Laundry.

(Pic: Getty)

No, Really, What The Hell Is That Thing?

Nole beats Daveed in straights to successfully defends his Beijing title and collects an awesome champagne bucket and stuffed...animal (?) to add to his collection.  Surprisingly, this is only his second title of the year. But he's now 9-0 at the China Open and he clinched his spot at the London Championships this week.

I would totally watch this movie.

In a dark theater.

Wearing a trenchcoat.

(Pics: Getty)

Clean Up on Aisle MY PANTS.

The finals in Beijing were rained out yesterday, but that didn't mean fun wasn't had. 

As the ballkids started to shamwow the court...

Nole decided, being the man of the people that he is, to chip in.

I'm a big fan of happy and relaxed Nole.

Both the men's and women's finals (Nole vs. Daveed, Caro vs. Vera) will resume at 11:45am and 7:30pm, respectively.

(Pics: Getty, AP)

Lumberjack Chic.

Did Andy get his fashion cues from Sam for the Beijing Player Party?  Or maybe from Marat?  The plaid, the frizzed out hair, the forced smiling.  Did I miss this month's issue of InStyle?  Though, I suppose plaid shirts, frizzed out hair, and forced smiling is pretty much my look, too.  See?  MFEO, Andy.  MFEO.

They're all so happy and smiley!  That's the comedic effect of Fer's hair, I guess.

Stop doing one armed pushups on that thing, Sam. 

I don't know what's crazier: Sam's forecep or Caro's crazy eyes. 

Lovely.  The boy knows how to wear clothes.

Also, those are some really tall Asian chicks.

I was really looking forward to the Beijing player party.  But I guess the days of unscripted awesomeness and costuming are behind us.  Sadness.

(Pics: Getty)

D&D, Anyone?

Just so much hilarity coming out of this exo.  I can't even deal.

No no no, Andy.  That's not how we roll.  We stare smugly into the camera, give a dispassionate peace sign, and try to look cute.  Culture clash.

Yes, please.

Nice try, but too pale.

A little better.  But he could be doing Masha too, for all we know.

Lazy American.

Um...I'm going to assume the exchange is reaaaaaaally low.

(Pics: Getty, AP)

 

Tennis Is Just Better In Asia.

I don't know what it is, really. Is it our propensity to smile and nod at everything white people do? Is it our habit of clapping excitedly even when we have no idea what's going on? Is it the language barrier that stops the players from being all "Hell naw, I'm not going to act stupid for money"? But the fact is that the Asian swing that everyone hates has provided more off-court awesomeness than the rest of the year combined.

So tennis in Asia is awesome and I don't want to hear anymore hatin'.

Nole and A-Rod were in Seoul for an exhibition.  It looked like a lot of fun.

Novak doing Andy. No...not like that, pervs.



Novak and Andy do Rafa. Yes...I wish like that, pervs.

 

Pic This: Ding Dong.

Someone on Twitter said that Davis Cup pwns all other tournaments in pictorial awesomeness. 

I have to agree.

Pensive Tomas.

Sluuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.

Davis Cup Hoss.

Cheerleader Nole.

This week on Broadway: Guy Forget as Monsieur Thenardier!

Oh, Stanley.  Sadz.

Daddy shaved!

Spongebob is a Sod fan.  This explains...so much.

*Everyone's* obsessed with what's between his legs.

Meh.  Not so much.

Pic This: Emo Needs a Hug!

Bonus Nole after the jump.

Enjoy the Pepto, Nole.

You Guys.

You know, because the first hug just wasn't enough.

Man. That Falcon Flies Fast.

As if the kid hasn't already earned a standing ovation, Nole's back in Belgrade with the boys preparing to contend the biggest Davis Cup tie in Serbian history against the Czechs.

"I can't predict how I'll feel on Friday but you always find the strength and energy when you play for your country in such an important match."

Tomas is well-rested, obviously, after his first round loss in New York.  Who knows how it will all pan out but bless Nole for being there. 

Aw. They Kissed and Made Up.

Head's tribute to Nole. Though personally, I'd rather see Nole's tribute to head.

Pic This: Men.

Just gotta love the love.

 

Looking forward to many more years of this, gentlemen.

Pic This: Stand and Deliver.

It's hard to believe that the 2010 Slam season is officially over.  There was heartbreak and heartwarm (that's a word, right?) over the past nine months and I for one have enjoyed every minute of it.  Ok, maybe not that one night in January, but otherwise, it's been pretty great.  Ok, that one afternoon in May kinda sucked, too. 

Where was I? 

Oh, right.  I realized this afternoon that I never did a proper Pic This entry for the USO.  Shame on me. 

So here we go....

Cultural Learnings of Serbia and Australia for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Forty Deuce

While I was in New York, I hung out quite a bit with Serbs and Aussies.  And bless them, they let me ask all the stupid questions I've always wanted to ask and they were even patient enough to speak slowly to the dumb American.  Here's a bit of what I learned:

• Aussies and Serbs are really friendly, good natured folks.  Who can drink.  A lot. 
• Serbian pride, paranoia, and fatalism is way fucking real.
• Beer is completely regional in Australia.  So if I plan on taking my "tracking" to Gold Coast, I better practice ordering Fourex beer.
• Novak is indeed the most popular sportsman in Serbia.
• Yelling "That's the way!" and "Love your work!" are really Aussie things to do.
• Anastasia Rodionova has fans.  Weird.
• JJ's like, the real deal in Serbia.  They love her and her fashions.  No really, AND HER FASHIONS.
• Watching a tennis match involving a Serb with a bunch of Serbs basically sounds like this: "AJDE! AJDE! AJDE!" --> "Oh my God, you're going to lose." ---> "IDEMO!!! COME ON!!!" ---> "Oh my God, you suck at tennis."  ---> AJDEEEEEEEE! You can do it!!!"  --->  That ball was out!!!  The stupid line judge!!!  It's a conspiracy!!!"  ---->  "AJDEEEEEEEE!"  ---> "WHY DOES HE/SHE DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?"  ---> "Yeah!  He/She won!"   Aaaaaand...scene.
• Ana's used sweaty visor reeks.  Novak's used sweaty cap does not.
• There is a really complicated Sammy Stosur song that is sung to the tune of a Vegemite jingle that I tried to learn while mildly intoxicated and failed miserably.
• Australia Day is a very big deal in Australia and they love that it falls during the Aussie Open.
• Americans like Lleyton more than Aussies do.  No one told me that.  That was just an observation.
• JJ's cousin wants to be a pop star and JJ wasn't happy about it.  But they've since made up.  Probably because JJ finally saw how awesome this video is:
  
  
• While I already knew "Ajde" and "Idemo", my new favorite Serbian cheer is "TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" (prounced "toe").  So fun.
• Never ever mention Fosters to Aussies.  

Thanks to my educators!  You guys were bomb.  That's American for "awesome".

Pic This: Never Forget.

Leave it to Srdjan to make the fashion statement of the tournament.

Best. Shirt. Ever. Made.

I Am Rafa. SUCK IT.

A win is a win, a title is a title, and a record is a record.  Regardless of how you get there, once you do and are able to secure that notch on your belt, there should be no further discussion.  We say it all the time as fans: "It doesn't matter how you get there, just get there."

But that's all a lie.  It's a lie we tell ourselves as sports fans to normalize results, to add legitimacy to results that sometimes, let's face it, kind of leave a bad taste in our mouths or leave us scratching our heads.  It stops us from starting sentences with the oh so groan-worthy, "Yeah, he won, but..."

So bless Novak and Rafa, who played a fantastic final yesterday and on this day, unfortunately for Nole fans, Novak showed the world precisely how good Rafa is.

I received a very gracious invitiation from Chris Chase over at Busted Racquet to participate in a live blog of the men's final (you can still read our quips here).  For 3/4ths of the final, I found myself agonizing over and on behalf of Nole.  There was a lot of facepalming, a lot of head dropping, a lot of "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????" cries to the heavens.  It wasn't until the reality of result began to set in in the middle of the fourth set that it suddenly dawned on me:

Nole played really really well.

He really did.  He didn't choke, he didn't come out out flat, he didn't have too much respect for Rafa.  He came into this match and tried to stand toe-to-toe with Rafa.  The Falcon threw everything, including the kitchen sink, at Rafa, and Rafa dealt with all of it. 

Let's not forget, Nole saved, like, 20 break points, on a guy who came into the USO as the best in break point conversions.  And Rafa didn't choke those 20 BPs away.  Nole earned them.  And every time you thought Nole was going to pull a Nole 1.0 and roll over, he sacked up, whipped out his gigantic schlong, and played with guts and courage.  It was unbeliebable.

So why the hell am I spending paragraph after paragraph talking about Novak when Rafa's the one that made history?  Because Novak's gutsy performance makes Rafa's moment even more spectacular.  Perhaps the moment of the match I will always remember is Rafa serving three ridiculously placed wide serves at 15-30 at 5-4 in the third, to shut down any momentum Nole was gaining in his attempt to break back and get back into the set.  That was the match in a nutshell.  Nole working so hard to get a perceived advantage, and Rafa stepping up and shutting it down as Nole could do nothing but stand and watch. 

To quote Fernando: Rafa was too much Rafa today.

And that's what makes Rafa's historic win that much more satisfying.  On a surface that people considered his weakest, off a summer filled with confusing sub-par performances, at a time of the year everyone assumed him to be fatigued, on a stage he had never stood, faced with a more than worthy opponent who played to win, Rafa stood tall and showed every facet of him improved game, hitting shots that seemed unhittable, getting balls that seemed ungettable, and achieving a feat that no one thought was achievable when he first came on the scene, let alone a year ago.

And that's Rafa.  Just when you think he can't, he does.

He's like, really annoying like that.

Two Guys, One Cup.

Here it is. The full trophy ceremony, uninterrupted, which I am compelled to post after the debacle that was the TV coverage today. The match started on CBS, was moved to ESPN2 after the rain delay, and just as Rafa got his hands on the trophy, ESPN2 unceremoniously and rather abruptly switched coverage to NFL. It was a shining moment in sports television history. Keep it up, Bristol.

You have to love the class both these guys showed not only during their match but after. To all the people who pick on Nole because they think he's a pompous dick, you can go fuck yourselves. And you know what? I'm pretty Rafa would tell you the exact same thing.

Air Quotes: I'd Rather Be Lucky Than Good.

“You are lucky!  Seriously lucky!”

-- Nadia Petrova, to Nole in the locker room.

“For sure, it’s fairer like this. I think it’s better for both of us to have a day of rest.”

-- Rafa

“For us, it would have been better that it had not rained today, because Djokovic might have been a bit more tired.  But it was fairer like this.”

-- Uncle Toni

“Obviously, Rafa would have preferred to play today, and Novak was praying for rain, so I suppose what I take out of things is that God is Orthodox.  He’s been listening to Novak.”

-- Benito Perez Barbadillo, Rafa and Novak's publicist.

The article's a great read.

Seriously? You Couldn't Find ONE Djokovic Fan?

Wish they talked to this guy:

Spoiler Alert.

And so it went.  

It has been absolutely ridiculous and appalling how little respect Nole was given leading up to yesterday's semifinal clash with Fed.  Ok, I get that people were writing Rafa into the final because he was playing Misha.  But commentators and journos were barely even mentioning this semfinal match, skipping it to discuss the ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKING GLORYGASM of the almost guaranteed Rafa/Federer final. 

If Novak needed any bulletin board material he didn't have to go looking through comments by Fed.  He just had to open up the newspaper.  We're talking about the #2 and #3 players in a semifinal match wherein, NO ONE EVEN BOTHERED DISCUSSING THE #3.  He was a minor blip on the way to a Fedal final.  No one hid their hard-ons for the dream final and just the thought of Nole or Misha spoiling it for everyone was apparently too much to take.

And thus the table was perfectly set for an upset.  This was a perfect opportunity for the Tennis Gods to teach a lesson in humility.  Humility to tennis fans, to journalists, to commentators, to everyone who buys into the idea tennis matches are decided on paper and not on a tennis court. 

There's that overused cliche: "That's why you play the game."  It's a cliche because it's true.  

The match itself was four sets of oddity punctuated by one of the best sets of tennis I've ever seen.  Novak's always played Fed tough on hard courts.  In addition to the lopsided second and fourth sets, which Nole won at 1 and 2, the first and third sets were tight affairs that were decided by a few points here and there. 

Then came the fifth set, and everyone (including die-hard Nole fans) expected Nole to crack under the pressure.  I spent a lot of time last week talking to tennis fans about Serbian psychology and one thing I've come to appreciate, especially when it comes to Novak and JJ, is their paranoid and fatalistic nature.  As the crowd grew vocally pro-Federer as the match wore on, I could see that "Well, everyone's out to get me" look creep across Nole's face.  It made me think that he already had one foot on a plane back to Belgrade.

But oh, those match points.  Novak would say after the match that he just closed his eyes and swung as hard as he could.  If it went in, great.  If not, oh well.  Ah, there's that fatalism that I know and love.  "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.  If not, I tried my best but you can't beat the gods."  That fatalism has gotten Nole in a lot of trouble in the past.  In fact, it's probably been the deciding factor in quite a few of his tight matches against the top guys.  

But not yesterday.  If you're a non-fatalist then you argue that he stepped up, whipped out his gigantic schlong, and hit two amazing shots to save match points.  If you're a fatalist, then you smile and say that he stepped up, whipped out his gigantic schlong, and the gods anointed him worthy.

 

Either way, the result is the same.  Nole stepped up, stood toe to toe with Roger in a tight fifth set, saved two match points, broke, and then dug out of an 0-30 hole while trying to serve for the match to eventually secure what could easily be seen as the biggest win of his career. 

As for Fed, much will be written, once again, about his demise.  Whatever.  Sure, he lost another match with match points.  But Nole hit two ridiculous shots to save them.  As far as I'm concerned, Roger didn't choke this one away.  He just came across a very good player, who matches up well against him, who played beautifully. 

Hard to argue with Janko on this one.  I've always bristled whenever I've spoken with journos or fans who bash Nole.  It's fine if you don't like the kid but I guess what bothers me is when people don't even attempt to understand his situation.  Unlike the other Top 4, the kid is literally the number one athlete in his country and his popularity isn't confined to his status as an athlete.  He is a huge public figure.  The kid, at 23, is the king of his small but very proud sports-centric country.  It's hard enough to play tennis for yourself, but imagine having an entire country on your shoulders every time you step out on the court.  Shit ain't easy and as a young guy you're going to fuck up every once in a while.  But he's a good kid, trying as best he can to navigate his insane position, all the while being painted as the bad guy every time he steps on court. 

I'm not sure where I was going with all that, other than to say I feel for everything Nole has to deal with and it makes wins like this that much sweeter.  Be the bad guy, Nole.  Be the spoiler.  It suits you.

Correction, Motherfucker!

That was sent by CBS *during* the second men' semifinal yesterday.

Yes.  It was corrected.  By this guy:

 

Perhaps the most appalling thing about the whole debacle?  Despite knowing that the original tweet was wrong, CBS *waited* until the conclusion of the second semi to send out a correction.  Guess they were reeeeeeeeeaaaaaally hoping Fed was going to get them out of a jam, on many many different levels.

Caroline Wozniacki Sitting In A Tree. Oh, Wait...

Again, if you're not on Twitter, I get it.  But far be it from me to let this slide.  Caro is like, an insanely good Twitter-flirter.  And, not to imply anything, but she's the village bike of the tennis Twittersphere:  Everybody gets a ride:

Fer:

 

Nole:

 

And of course, The Tall One:

Caro:
@JohnIsnerTennis Hey big-timer!! How is life? havent heard from you in a while!

John
@CaroWozniacki don't try this crap again woz! Another text I sent you and another heartbreak for me btw fantasy soccer??? cmon now

Vika:
@JohnIsnerTennis @CaroWozniacki should I just follow u guys?

John:
@vika7 woz never responds to my texts. congrats btw

Vika:
@JohnIsnerTennis she always responds u on the other hand not really))))

John:
@vika7 hmmmm im not so sure about that

Caro:
@vika7 What?? I always answer your texts.. How can you be on his side? Very disapointed !!

Vika:
@CaroWozniacki I'm with u I said he doesn't answer. How could u think about me! Lol

Carol:
@vika7 Hahah!! Sorry girl!! My bad!! You are right!! thanks

John:
@vika7 stop taking here side vika!

....
Few day later
Caro:
@JohnIsnerTennis what happened?

John
@CaroWozniacki rolled my ankle up 5-3 in the first set . Good job today!
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:05:56 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to CaroWozniacki

Caro:
@JohnIsnerTennis Nooo! How bad is it? did you get an mri?
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:06:26 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to JohnIsnerTennis

John
@CaroWozniacki I just did. I think ill be fine but it looks nasty ugh.
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:07:35 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to CaroWozniacki

Caro:
@JohnIsnerTennis Oh im sorry! I know, have been there! Is it very swollen?
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:08:41 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to JohnIsnerTennis

John:@CaroWozniacki unfortunately yes. I know u have been here before!
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:10:03 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to CaroWozniacki

Caro:
@JohnIsnerTennis Ok Rest up well!! Ice ice ice.. leg up and you will be ok!! (Says the expert.. haha)
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:11:32 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to JohnIsnerTennis

John:
@CaroWozniacki thanks doc!
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:12:40 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to CaroWozniacki

Caro:
@JohnIsnerTennis haha! You are welcome.. any time lol
Thu Aug 19 2010 03:13:52 (Central European Daylight Time) via web in reply to JohnIsnerTennis

It's gotten to the point that the tennis elder statesmen are on the case:

The BryBros:

 

Lindsay:

Oh, Woz.  You're such a tease.  It's kind of awesome.

(Screencaps from Tennis Forum)

Pic This: Hummanahummanahummanahummana

Nole models for Sergio Tacchini.  Oh yes, he does.

 

 

And if you prefer your Novak practically naked, flexing, and pretending to do the sex, you can thank the BryBros for this.

Welcome Back to NYC, Djoker.

From 5:33 to the end. Amazing.

Damn This Chainlink Fence!

Got to watch Nole practice a bit this morning.  Thankfully (or not) no one really cared so I could get up close and personal with the chainlink fence.  Pretty sure I still have impression marks all over my chest but it was well worth it.

 

Seriously, I was close.

Like...creepy close.

Kid had to fight off that pesky buddy of his in five sets under the rough NY sun today.  But he lives to fight another day and he has to be happy about his his body was able to hold up. 

"Stop Flirtin' and Sign Autographs."

Sundays. They're Serbtastic!

Today was all about the Serbs.  I was sitting courtside, taking in some Deliciano, when I got an email from FDer Miljan that Sam was practicing on Grandstand.  Needless to say I literally sprinted off the court, pausing only momentarily to chat with Christina and Lexi, before unpolitely excusing myself because, as they knew, I had to see Sam. 

Unfortunately I got there right as her practice was ending.  But I did get to finally meet Miljan and snapped some pics of Sam.  And I am just going to say it because I have no shame: guy or girl, there is nothing sexier than a sweaty grey t-shirt.  It's kryptonite to me.

She was in good spirits, no doubt because she knew I was creepily standing nearby.

Hi, Sam.

After a walk around the grounds, my new BFF and future hubby Miljan and I headed back to Armstrong, where low and behold, we saw this sexy motherfucker:

Even in that dorky cap (which Miljan was able to get) he was delicious as ever, all sweaty, tan, and charming.  It kills me.

He was practicing with Daveed, and let's be honest, Nole got his ass kicked.  It was some intense hitting and really fun to watch.

As Nole was wrapping up we saw a familiar face waiting to take the court.  Miljan squealed like a little schoolgirl.  Ok, he didn't.  That may have been me.

The kid is clearly familiar with Nole's team. 

 

And then there was this.  And I really did squeal.

They chatted for a bit, with Nole asking about Ana's foot and Ana explaining what happened.  At least that's what I'm told was going on thanks to Miljan (who, on top of that ugly-ass Sergio hat, also got Leather to get Ana to give him her visor). 

Trust me, I love Adam and I love Jelena.  But I want so badly for these to to have sex and make beautiful tan babies.  I can't help it.  I know they're all brother/sister with each other but they're just so cute when they interact.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind.

So I leave Cincy for New Haven on Friday and while I'm in the air and on trains, this happens:

 

I mean, really. 

So now Cincy gets what they want.  An American in the final (Fish) and their beloved (Fed).  Seriously, I saw so many Fed fans roaming about in their red Swiss shirts and whatnot.

  Enjoy that.  I've moved on.

How Much Is That Doggy In The Window? Ruff Ruff!

Viktor practicing yesterday. 

 

He was putting on quite the shirtless show for group of cougars sitting courtside.

Foreshadowing his match against Nole, which he lost.  But it does give me an excuse to post one of my favorite videos from Indian Wells this year:

Air Quotes: "It's Gettin' Hot in Hurrr, So Take Off All Your Clothes..."

Q. You mentioned the heat issues. Could you explain what feelings you go through when it starts to get to you? What actually happens?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, it's really hard to explain. Anybody who didn't play a professional level will not understand quite what's going on, but it's definitely not easy on the days where you have over 30 Celsius and court adds up another 10 degrees, or 15, and it gets really hot and it absorbs the heat, the hardcourts.

So I'm not finding definitely no excuses, but everybody is different. I might react on the heat differently than somebody else, so you cannot compare myself to another player. You know, I might be faster than somebody for some reason. It's just genetics and nature, I guess.... 

Nobody can turn off the sun and just do me a favor, even though I would like it. (Laughter.)

Q. Back to the heat, are you working with your team on nutrition or types of fluids to drink or things to eat in between changeovers like that? Are you doing anything differently there to stave off...

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, we're just waiting DHL to give us a canister of oxygen that I will put next to me on the changeovers so I'll breathe in. No. (Laughter.)

Sight For Sore Eyes.

 

The big boys are back, which means I'm happy.  Don't get me wrong, I like the smaller tourneys as much as the next guy.  But shit gets real when you have the #1-5s playing.  Throw in a resurgent Nalby (who destroyed Robredo today to set up a 3rd rounder vs. Sod on Thursday) and we got ourselves a happy C Note.

Rafa sported some craaaaaazy hot pink and was pushed hard by a "why won't you go AWAY" Stanley.  The first set took over an hour and half and saw Rafa finally take the breaker 14-12.  I didn't see the match but from what I could tell via Twitter, that breaker was insane.  Rafa would take the second 6-3 after a total match time of 2 hours and 21 minutes.  How's that for a welcome back workout?

As for my headcasey stable, Andy somehow took the first set over X-Man 75.  Seriously, I don't know how he did it.  I could be wrong but I think X was serving for that first set at one point.  Anyway, he got away with it and cruised in the second.

And as for the Tiny Thoraxed One, it seems my predictions via the podcast may come true.  The dude was WHEEZING throughout his match, clearly bothered by the heat and humidity.  I just feel so sorry for the guy.  It's not that he's not fit or isn't working hard.  He clearly has a physiological issue that he hasn't found an answer to.  He struggled in his win over Benneteau but he was hitting some amazing groundies that gave me hope.  Who knows if he'll be able to get through this US hardcourt season though.  It'll only get more brutal in Cincy next week.

Well That Was Quick.

The Dream Team lost, 10-8 in the super-tiebreak.  Boo face.

Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun.

This is happening. 

A preview:

Whatever. Domi Will Probably Just Ruin It Again.

Preliminary team announcements for the 2011 Hopman Cup have been made.  And it's time to do a happy dance:

Serbia: Ana/Nole
USA: Serena/Isner
Belgium: Justine and someone who has a wiener and a Belgian passport
France: Monfils and hopefully a chick who is as crazy as he is
Australia: Lleyton and I'm guessing someone who's name does not rhyme with Ham Hoser.

That's pretty exciting.  They're still trying to get Muzzard and my Twitter bestie L-Rob to confirm for the UK.

Make it happen, Tennis Australia.  You will have me forever if you can get the Muzzard, Robbie, and Sam into the mix, though I'm almost certain that Sam's now ranked too high to play.

Hotness Takes A Hit. C Note Gets A Boner.

Sorry to 90% of the LA tennis fans, but Nole has withdrawn from LA for undisclosed personal reasons. 

BUT!  BUT!  BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!

Andy's in.  My heart's aflutter.

Considering the crappy weather that's been interfering with his training in Miami, this seems a good move.  I assure you won't get rained on in LA.  Have fun at the Cheesecake Factory.

Oh, and Sod withdrew from Legg-Mason for personal reasons, too.  That really has nothing to do with the theme of this post but it seems newsworthy.

Yay! Now Let's Get Out Of Here.

Nole was the hero in the saucy Croatia/Serbia tie, clinching it with a really weird win over Marin the fourth rubber.  Marin played like shit and Nole kept building these 5-0, 4-0, leads in the sets before struggling to close them out.  The crowd was obnoxious as expected, perhaps not realizing (or caring) that they were freaking out Marin and costing their team points.  

Nole was able to keep his cool though, thankfully, and after the match he immediately ran over to the Croatian bench and shook everyone's hand before joining his boys for some hugging and jumping.  All in all, this tie could have been completely out of control if not for the class of the players on both sides of the net.  So good on them.

So the semifinals are set: Argentina at France and the Czechs at Serbia on what I can only assume will b super-slick hard courts and super-slow clay courts, respectively.  That's some tasty shit right there.

Get It, Serbia.

Nenad and some bearded girl won their dubs rubber today, which puts Serbia in driver's seat at 2-1.

Bless.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

The great thing about sport is that it can bring people together.  In most countries, top athletes are more influential than politicians.  So it sure was nice to see the laughs and the love between the Serbs and the Croats prior to their DC tie.  This is the first time the countries are meeting since the countries split under not so super-happy-fun-times circumstances.

Unfortunately, the fans weren't paying attention.  On the way to his straight set win over Lubey, Nole had endure some retardedly disrespectful behavior from the Croat fans.  They refused to stand for the Serbian national anthem and chanted "Kill the Serb" during the match.  

I'm always flabbergasted when fans do this shit because it seems so shortsighted.  Don't they realize that it does nothing to pump up their own player?  It sure as hell distracted Lubey:

“It was strange to see guys, the crowd, whistling on Serbian anthem and the players and so loud on ours. You could feel the tension; you could feel the emotion so it was really difficult for me to play the first couple of games.”

Nole said the jeering calmed down once it was clear that he was going to win the match.  Afterward and during the rubber, he stayed calm and classy:

Djokovic was just pleased to come out with a win. “It’s sensitive circumstances that we play in and considering the situation between the two countries that they had 20 years back and, of course, it’s still very fresh [in the mind],” he said.

“We are professional athletes and tennis players and we don’t involve politics in sport. We want to perform our best four the country and win; that’s what I did today and in the end I got a nice appreciation from the crowd for what I have done today so this is what I remember from the match.”

Marin would come back to level the tie 1-1 win a win over Viktor.  On to Day 2.

Air Quotes: Class

Q. Will those double‑faults play on your mind as you go home, do you think?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, I don't know. It's not just double‑faults. It's just I wasn't going for the shots too much. You know, I was kind of waiting for him to make mistake. I was wrong.

Q. Must be frustrating for you. You were so close and it's not happened for you today.

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, it is. You know, nobody likes losing. Neither do I.

But the fact of the matter is that I didn't deserve to win today, you know. It's just as simple as that. I congratulate my opponent because he was a better player.

Revolutionary Road.

Berdych 2.0. 

He's beaten the #2 and #3 consecutively and now gets his shot at the #1 in his first Grand Slam final on Sunday.  Against Nole, just as he did against Fed, Tomas was steady and played within himself, hitting big but also being patient.  That patience and his improved movement were really impressive.  He was willing to engage in rallies with Nole until he worked out a good opportunity to take a crack.

As for Nole, this was heartbreak.  To work his way back into that second set tiebreak with some stunning play and overcoming some cringeworthy bad luck (how the hell do you miss a call on a lob on the baseline???), he fought off set point after set point and even held a set point himself.  And then, of course, because the Tennis Gods insist on keeping him in the cellar, he double faults on set point to give the set to Tomas. 

Yeah, I would, too.

From there the kid was emotionally drained and couldn't summon the energy and drive to fight in the third set.  All credit to Nole, he saw the match right: Tomas was the better player today.  But I hope the kid takes heart.  This was a redemptive tournament for him.  He came in as an afterthought and comes out as the #2 player in the world, playing some solid tennis along the way.  I hope he sees the positive and doesn't dwell on the negative.  This was a great tournament for him.

Cat Fight!

For 99.9% of FD readers, tomorrow is an awesome day.  Fed's not involved and there's every reason to root for each of the final four to win.  For Tomas, it'd be a hard earned reward for accomplishing the impossible.  For Nole, it would be a roar of "I'M RELEVANT, GODDAMMIT!" and further cement his #2 ranking.  For Rafa, it would be a cap on an amazing two-month run and further solidify him as the #1 player in the world.  And for Andy, it would finally shut up the British press.  OK, that last one is wishful thinking, but it would at least make him the first Brit to win a Slam since Fred Perry.

All great narratives.  All worthy of a final berth.  All feel good stories.

Fuck that.

You should be rooting for Nole and Andy.  And here's why:

So a Falcon, a Bull, a Berd, a Moose, and a Passive Aggressive Douchenugget Walk Into a Pub.

I am so excited.  This is so GO TENNIS!  I can't even deal.  It has been a long ass time since I didn't have any major rooting interest in a Slam semifinal.  That's not saying I don't have my dream scenario.  More on that in a bit.