Forty Deuce

Nads and I Are Total BFF

The Ladies talk about their guilty food pleasures.  Not surprisingly, no one asked Dinara because we all know the answer already.

Nadia Petrova: Burger and french fries with everything on it, and Coke. At a nicer restaurant though!

Elena Dementieva: Chips. It’s my favorite bad habit. Potato chips and pizza. The chips are simple – just sea salt. I like to keep it as natural as possible

Vera Zvonareva: My mom makes this Napoleon cake a few times a year…

Liezel Huber: Chips. Not fries, but as in chips from the packet!

Cara Black: My favorite bad food is ice cream!

Sabine Lisicki: Ice cream. Italian ice cream!

Vania King: Fried chicken.

Dominika Cibulkova: A Slovakian dish my grandma cooks called Bryndzove Halusky… it’s potato dumplings with cheese and bacon… and it’s unbelievable.

Bethanie Mattek-Sands: Dark chocolate-covered almonds and sweet potato fries… not together, of course!

Aleksandra Wozniak: My indulgence is chocolates.

Caroline Wozniacki: Crêpes with nutella… it’s SO good.

Ana Ivanovic: Pancakes with nutella!

Michaella Krajicek: Porridge with pieces of chocolate in it. I really love it.

Katarina Srebotnik: Chocolate

Dude.  Nads.  Indian Wells.  You.  Me.  In n Out.

Wow.  That sounded really dirty.  Also dirty?  Whatever the heck Domi is talking about. 

Moskau, Moskau!

The biggie for this week is Kremlin Cup; an ATP 250 for the men and a Premier for the women.  Since it's the week before Doha, most of the top women are giving Moscow a miss.  Never mind that, though, because the four women still in contention for the last spot/alternate status at YEC are all playing.  Davai!

ATP

Nads did the draw.  This is a picture of her immediately after she drew Safin/Davydenko for the first round.  Heh.

 

Yeah, well done, Nads.  So, I suppose we can expect Marat to exit stage right from his last Kremlin Cup relatively early.  Although he did beat Kolya there last year.  Anyway...

Draw

Top Four Seeds: Kolya, Victor Hanescu, Misha, Igor Andreev

Potential Quarterfinals: Kolya/Martin Vassallo Arguello, Igor/Janko, Misha/Fabrice, Hanescu/Pablo Cuevas

Potential Interesting Early Matches: Kolya/Marat (1R)

Interesting Story Lines: Will Igor Andreev repeat as "Mr. Fair Play"?  Will Marat actually give a shit? 

WTA

 

Draw

Top Four Seeds: Vera, JJ, Aga, Flavs

Potential Quarterfinals: Vera/Nads, JJ/Lena V, Aga/Franny, Flavs/Dominika

Potential Interesting Early Matches: CanWoz/Errani (1R), Flavs/Agnes (1R), JJ/Shvedova (1R), Vera/Pavs (2R), Aga/Winner of CanWoz v. Errani (2R), Franny/Sorana (2R), Flavs/Dushevina (2R), JJ/Lucie (2R)

Interesting Story Line: 4 players. 3 YEC spots.  Bring.  It.  On.

Huh. Ok.

Nice to see you're so excited about making your second straight semifinal by beating Lena, Agi.  Don't ever change.  Kuz cruised over Pavs in straight sets, setting up a fantastically headcasey semifinal against...

The Serena Slayer.  Big ups to Nads, who followed up her win over Serena with a three set win over Bollitieri Beater Shuai Peng.  Peng took the first set in a tiebreaker and was playing really well until she hurt her left leg.  From there is was just a matter of time before Nads ran away with it, though seriously, she was still Nadsy about it.  Headcases forever!

And in the "Wha happen???" story of the day, Mono somehow rallied from 63 51 down to win over Bepa.  What. The. Fuck. Vera.  She only won 7 points in the second set after leading 5-1.

Knockout

Oh, Nads.  You badass motherfucker.

In what sounded like a pretty epic match, Nads took out current world #2, soon to be world #1, but really was always the real #1, Serena, 64 36 76 (5).  Nads served 14 aces for the match, which was pretty huge.  Here's the AP's description of the match:

The 28-year-old Williams looked lethargic in the first set, with her ground strokes sailing long and her serve broken twice to hand the 27-year-old Russian the early lead.

But the American bounced back in the second, putting a bit more pace on her shots and dictating play from the backcourt to gain a break late in the set and even the match.

In the deciding third set, Williams missed a golden opportunity to pull ahead at 4-4, blowing three break points on Petrova's serve. But she cranked up her serve to send it to a tiebreak.

Petrova took an early 5-2 lead, but Williams battled back one final time before the Russian could close it out.

Apparently there was some controversy at the end regarding a line call but I don't really know what happened there.  What I *do* know is what Serena said after the match:

"I ran into a girl today that has never played so good in her whole life...."

"I can be No. 1 for a week on this tour, but it doesn't matter how many Grand Slams you win. It's more about how many Grand Slams you don't win. My goal is just to do well in Doha."

To quote a certain Russian Siberian Bitch, "Shocking. Shocking she said that."

Also, since the fuck when did Serena give a shit about doing well in Doha?

Nadia: Cultural Learnings of Japan for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Russia

Seriously.  How awesome sauce would a Nadia Petrova travel show be?  Someone tell TTC to can Mika Buchan or whoever they have hosting Destination: Tennis and slot Nadia in there.

Though I guess her salary demands would be pretty high.  That second chin is going to demand some cash.

So great.

Pic This: Natural Habitats

Here's what I love about WTA marketing.  Nads gets into a cab and where does she go?

Shopping, of course!

Sam gets into a cab and where does she go?

To...work out.

Naturally.

Hey man, those foreceps don't work themselves.

Nads: She'll Try Anything Once. And Then Come Back For More.

I love the WTA for always marching out Nads to do stuff that other players might flinch at. Her facial expression when she's trying the mochi is the exact same one that she had when drank the Purple Hooter that Dima whipped up for her.

And for the record, the mochi with the red bean?   SO GOOD.

Closer I Am To Fine

Pretty much can't wipe the smile off my face right now.

Last American Hero

Well holy shit.

 

Four matches, four Russians.  And if Caro didn't go ahead and bounce Kuz, Mel would have had a chance to scalp  fifth.  The funny thing about this match is that even though Nads took the first 61, you just kind of knew this kid wasn't going out like that.  And sure enough, once she regrouped and was able to pressure Nads and get the crowd into the match, Nads went all Nadsy and we had ourselves a match.

 

Poor Nads.  There was no reason she should have lost this match.  Then again, there's no reason she should have won it either.  The Russian headcasiness continues.  As much as these matches have been won with The Kid's tennis skills, even more so it's been her competitiveness that seal the deal.  She's able to put just enough pressure on them to get those doubts flowing.  Serious props to her.

 

So The Kid will play The Boots for a shot at the USO semis, and really, a REAAAAALLY good shot at the USO finals.  Boots came back from dropping the first set to battle Kuz to a 46 76 76 win.  More importantly she has torpedoed anymore Stella McCartney jokes.  I can honestly say I'm sadder about the latter.

So with Wickmayer and K-Bond making up the other quarterfinal in this half (yes, you read that right), we have ZERO Russians or Serbs in the quarters of a Slam. 

What.  Happened.

Oh, I Hope You Know What You're In For, Pops.

That is a true fan.  She's wearing the Olympic kit and showing off her belly and everything.  Good on you, Papa.  He's even rockin the Krajan hair.

 

Dina needed all the help she could get to scrape by Roberta Vinci today.  She dropped the first 26 and then had to battle back from breaks down in the second and third set, before breaking for the win, 26 75 64.  Looks like the serve was pretty wonktastic, as she threw in 10 double faults.

Dina's not the only one who had to grind out a win.  It took Sorana 75 75 to beat Meghan Shaughnnessy (she's still playing?), Dani had to come back from a set down to beat Errani, And Agnes needed 5 and 5 to take out the always riveting Ula.

You know who didn't have to work too hard for a win?  Shuai Peng.  She dumped out Domi at 2 and 1.  Hee.

And in other upset news, Nads "R-r-r-ruffles have R-r-r-ridges" bowed out to A-Bond.

"Is She Your Favorite Player?"

Work has been a bitch all week but I was finally able to make it to Stanford for Thursday's evening session, which featured JJ vs. Boom Boom and Nads/B-Matt vs. Klebs/Rodionova.  I was able to secure a front row baseline ticket and we were in business.

The JJ/Boom Boom match was full of starts and stops by both players.  In the first set Boom Boom was, well, booming her serve and her forehand.  JJ was playing tentatively, as she's prone to do when she gets nervous or doesn't know what to do, and Sabine was just teeing off on the ball. 

The second set saw Sabine just lose her way.  Spraying balls all over the place and missing first serves.  She seems really conscious of her service toss.  She practices the toss motion quite a bit between serves and while it doesn't wonk off like Ana, you can tell when she's going to hit the slice as opposed to a flat serve.  Clearly the service issues got into her head because she stopped moving her feet on her groundies and she was just off balance all set. 

The last set went back and forth but all of a sudden JJ found her serve and began holding pretty easily.  It was over after that, as Sabine's serving woes pretty much gave JJ the match.  Serving to stay in the match, Boom Boom tossed in two doubles to pretty much give JJ the match.  One serve bounced before it hit the net. 

So good on JJ for scraping through.  The match was a typical JJ show.  Some interaction with the crowd, lots of Serbian screams to the heavens, sniping at the ballkids, but in the end she found a way to win.  Papa JJ and Ricky were in the crowd.  No sign of Kung Fu Tennis dude.

Next up, Indigo Girls vs. Kleybs & Co.  Nads and Bethanie were nails in the first set, and then Nads starting stinking up the joint in the second.  The tiebreak was tight until the IGs opened it up with a stick forehand volley from Nads and then a ripped forehand return up the line by Bethanie.  It got tight again after that but you had the feeling Nads and Bethanie would pull it out, which they did.

Apparently I was cheering for Nads pretty hard during the match, to the point that the woman sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked "Is she your favorite player?"

All in all, a fun time.  I'm going to get tickets to tomorrow's night session to see Masha vs. Venus.  That'll mark Maria's first big match against a true top player since her return.  Can't wait.

I Don't Know, Cones. You Might Want To Start Thinking About It.

Move Over Tiger, Here Comes Nadia

I always try that "catching the ball on your racquet" trick and I fail miserably.

And if you don't get the title reference:



But here's my fave Tiger video:


Love you so much, Le Tigre.

Pic This: Awesome Shit From Day 1

And so it begins.  Yet another two weeks of frazzletastic tennis a (what non-tennis fans would call) ridiculous surface.


Have I mentioned lately how awesome Shazza is?  No?  Oh, ok.  CUZ SHE IS.


As is the Flying Falcon, who looks like he can hit a leaping overhead and jack himself off all at the same time.


Momo?  So awesome that even douchey white dudes with popped collars like her.  Her awesomeness knows no demographic bounds.

 
Is Fed awesome?  Depends on the definition of awesome we're using.  But you know what needs no definitional clarification?  Fed's awesome mooseknuckle, which he goes out of his way to show off all the time.  Seriously, I must have at least 15 GOATknuckle shots on my hard drive.


Jay-Z.  Always awesome, even when beating other awesome players.


Wait, how'd This Fucker get on the list?  *shakes fist* Damn you, Sod. 


Nads? Awesome.  That dress?  Not awesome. 

Is that a ruffle bandolier?  Because that would easily be the absolute gayest thing to ever come out of Mexico.


Nipple shoes.  Always awesome.  Because I get to write the word "nipple".


Come on.  The definition of.


Jude Law?  Not awesome.  But who's that I see two seats to the left?  Is that the ever awesome ex-Mr. Jolie JONNY LEE MILLER???  Yes, yes, I think it is.  Someone needs to get me some Eli Stone/Slackers/Edmund Bertrum, stat!


Fed's propensity for statuesque poses.  He makes tennis look pretty.  And fancy. 


Tuxedo's eyebrows.  A-some.


Adidas' new grass shoes, judging by the pictures, are clearly 92% better than Nike shoes.


700,000% awesome.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I would have rough sex with Dima anyday.  Hell, I'd probably have rough sex with Nads too if she promised to wear a cowboy hat.

Adopt Me!

I do heart these two. 

I want them to be my big bro and sis. 

Even though I'm older.  And Dima's kind of a dick.

But who better to introduce me to the awesomeness of alcohol?

Can We Get Together on This One?

Bizarro Week AWESOMENESS:

Funnest doubles team ev-ah!  That was a great match between them and Serena/Venus, and Beth and Nads looked beyond thrilled to win it.  They play Black/Huber next, but whatever, it's been awesome while it's lasted!

"Multiply Life By The Power Of Two."

How about some love for our favorite happily ever after dubs team? 

They beat Flavs/Dulko, 57 63 10-7 to take their second straight clay final.  On their way to the title they beat #1 and #3 seeds.

I wonder where they're registered.

Aw, Man. Why You Gotta Play On Nads Like That, WTA?

Seriously? In what world is it an upgrade to turn Nads into a blonde Chinese hooker?  8%, guys.

I Don't Know, Russia. I'm Not Feeling It.

Italy's got their game faces on. 

And never underestimate what Tranny can do during Fed Cup.  Or Flavs for that matter. 

As for the Russians, they come in a bit battered and shell-shocked:

Into the second singles berth steps the 22nd- ranked Anna Chakvetadze who has registered only four wins to her name this year, four less than Nadia Petrova who can count herself unlucky to be watching from the bench.

Winners of 15 of their last 16 ties, Russia will look to Svetlana Kuznetsova to provide a backbone for success. Kuznetsova is now coachless after her split last month from Olga Morozova but is enjoying a Fed Cup run of eight straight singles wins. She admits though that preparations this week have not been perfect: “We have not managed to practise indoors, only outdoors, and not as much as we should have because of the conditions but we are looking forward to the weekend.”

Chakky only has 4 wins this year?  Ugh.

Saturday
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)

Sunday
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
Sara Errani /Roberta Vinci (ITA) v Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova/Nadia Petrova (RUS)

Draw day interviews with Chakky, Sveta, Flavs, Tranny, and Nads and Chevy.

Air Quotes: Roadmap Rumblings

"For top players the Roadmap is a lot of commitments, which makes it a bit difficult when you're kind of forced to play a particular tournament.  If you talk to many of the top players, they're not happy about that and would like to come up with changes for the next season."

-- Nadia Petrova, on how the 2009 Roadmap is going over with the top ladies.  No shock.

Pic This: Smile Like You Mean It

I forgot to give a shout out to Nads and Bethanie winning the dubs in Charleston. 
And, well, this picture just needed to be posted. 

It just looks like the most fun lesbian wedding ever.

Of Poles and Russians.

 
What a day in Ponte Vedra.  Huge win for CanWoz and a gutsy "how'd she do that" win for Boots. 

CanWoz regrouped after losing a 4-1 lead in the second set to take the match 64 46 62.  Per Nads, I've never seen anybody paint more lines than she did today."  Good job, CanWoz!  I can't wait to see what Adidas leftovers you'll wear on the court tomorrow.

As for Boots, WTF?  Happy for you but good lord, Vezzy.  That was a pretty epic display of refusing to win a match. I mean, all credit for Boots for being courageous and staying calm (she had problems dealing with the heat all through the match), but Elena!  You had four match points and couldn't convert.  You served for the set at 5-2 in the second and still lost the set.  You had match points with two break points at 6-5 in the third and couldn't convert.  And then you cried.  You cried going into the tiebreak.  And then you lost.

Oh, Russians.  It's almost comical at this point. 

Noah's Bagels Called. They'd Like To Work Out a Deal.

Please, Bepa, don't hurt 'em.  Double bagel in your second round match?  That's a statement.  Hopefully JJ's paying attention.

Caro and Nads are also through easily.  Caro took out Ruano Pascal, 3 and 3, and Nads ousted Sania (sad face), 3 and 2.  Doesn't look like she's suffering any ill effects of the viral menge.  Good for her.

 

The Cone also through easily, dishing out a baguette and bagel to Petkovic.  And Dani had to fight a bit, but finally took it in three over the weird serving Johansson, 63 46 63. 

It's so amazing with Dani how obviously mental her game is.  Good memories bring good results for her.  How can you explain her two wins at Indian Wells and now, at the tourney where she reached the semis, she's actually progressing through her draw.  This from a woman who we're used to seeing lose before the third round at Tier II tournaments.  Good for her.  Hopefully this is a signal of things to come for her season.

Headlights Are For Cars

Flashes of brilliance in a sea of poo.  That's the only way to describe the 2+ hour match between Dani and Fosters Dellaqua.  It was a battle of nerves as both ladies were broken over and over again.  Fosters had every right to win this match, but she just couldn't shut the door on Dani.  The key was the first set tiebreak, which Dani eventually won 13-11.  She would go on to win the match 76(11) 64.

On the fashion front, I love the blue on Dani.  Also love that she's left her ponytail loose instead of that uptight braid she was rocking last year (it made her look like an insane control freak for some reason).  But please, Dani, invest in some Low Beams.  It's so damn awkward watching you play sometimes.

Nice win for Chakky over AKO, but my heart goes out to Anne.  Tough draw for her.  She played well in Auckland and deserved to make it to the second round here.  But she showed a lot of heart coming back from a set down.  Unfortunately, in today's heat, she just ran out of gas. 

One thing that stood out to me watching today's matches was the gulf in fitness levels between the top players and the second tier players.  It's mindboggling to me to see players completely tank in second and third sets because their fitness prevents them from dealing with the conditions.  I totally agree with Brad Gilbert (reluctantly) that it's inexcusable.  This is the first Slam of the year and you've had two months to get into proper shape. 

And yes, Strawberry-Lemonade Nads is still in the mix.  There's just so much unnecessary color going on in that shot.

Ellesse Fail.

I guess Nads signed a deal with Ellesse.  In return, Ellesse made her look like a piece of Cherry Lemonade Hubba Bubba:

And if that wasn't humiliating enough, Nads was busted by Alize today, 62 64.  But at least she's recovered from her viral meningitis and is back on the court.

Get Well, Nads

Poor Nadster.  She's contracted viral meninghitis during the off-season which has forced her out of Auckland and questionable for the AO. 

There's Gonna Be A Lot Of Leftover Guac To Eat.

Pics from the Pajama Party/End of the Year Player Party. 
 

Where is everybody?  Oh, hail no.  First Lady Dinara went through a lot of effort to put this party together and not even Lena or JJ show up?  Y'all made a big mistake.  Dinara's so gonna pull a Kelly Kapoor on you next year. 

Watch your backs.

Trophy Hoister Sunday: Jo and Nads

Congrats to Nads for winning Quebec City.   She beat Bethanie Mattek 46 64 61 to capture her second title of the year.  But Nads' year isn't over quite yet.  She has to hop on a plane to Doha to join the Pajama Party.

And of course, congrats again to Jo, who won his first ATP Masters title by defeating a very hot Headbandian, 63 46 64.  He was rewarded with a bunch of twisted metal and Flower Hat Butterfly Models.  Luckily, they also gave him a Masters Shield:

More pics from Jo's win.  It was just so great to see how emotional he was.  I think we do get a little jaded with the Roger, Rafa, Muzzah, Nole wins because the players are so used to it.  It's no big deal to them really.  But the absolute joy and appreciation on Jo's face and the faces of his family spoke volumes. 

Nads Refuses To Let A Party Go On Without Her

It ain't a party unless Nads is there acting inappropriately (come on, you know the girl parties).  With her win over Angela Haynes today in Quebec City, Nads has secured the #2 alternate spot for Doha, bumping Flava Flav to #3.

The Pajama Party just got a whole lot drunker.

UPDATED -- Pic This: "High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, lay odl lay odl lay hee hoo"

UPDATED: More from the Linz Player Party

Tammy and Tamira (apparently Tamira has decided to embrace her Austrian citizenship.  At least for today.)

Agnes and Nads (EEK!)

Mono (apparently dressed as the sacraficial virgin)

Agi (anyone get the sense that Agi's got some anger issues to work out?)

Ana and Tamira (aww...no hard feelings)

(Updated pics courtesy of itzhak at TennisForum)

UPDATED: Kuz Soars, JJ Comes Back To Earth.

[For some reason Typepad is not letting me post my picture of JJ, which is amazing and deserves much commentary.  But I want to get this post up, so I'll update it as soon as Typepad stops giving me the finger.]

 

(5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. (1) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 26 75 75
(Q) Katarina Srebotnik (SLO) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 63 64
(4) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. (Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) 64 67(5) 62
Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. (6) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 63 60

Did anyone expect these results?  I mean, sure, Dinara won as expected, but she was taken to three sets.  JJ lost to the struggling Kuz in three sets, Giant Killer Srebotnik continued to frustrate the top players by taking out Lena, Agi was bageled by Nads.  BAGELED BY NADS.  Think about that.

And JJ.  Oh, JJ.  This is what I don't understand.  You make a fantastic and rather miraculous run to the final of the US Open.  I would think you'd apply the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," strategy, the corollary of which is currently being applied by your compatriot. 

SO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY SHE'S (1) NOT WEARING GLITTER, (2) NOT WEARING FOUR POUNDS OF MAKEUP, AND (3) NOT WEARING NAIL POLISH?!?!!  Idiot!  P.S. -- Is it just me or does JJ look REALLY different when she isn't all made up. 

 

How big is this win for Kuzzie?  I don't think she's beaten a top player since Masha at Indian Wells.  Good for her.  Is this tournament hers to win?  Srebotnik never puts two back to back giant killing performances together.  Then again, Kuz has the ability to lose for no apparent reason.  As for Dinara and Nads, something tells me Baby Beluga is still recovering from her year.  Then again, you have to think Nads can't keep this up.  Right?  RIGHT?

Bali Fashion Show Pics: Who's the Drag Queen in Green?

Shuai Peng (nice!)

Nadia Petrova (why?!?)

Anastasia Rodionova (ah, the classic "looky loo")

SuperGirl Dani (constipated?)

Seriously, Dani is gorgeous, but she needs to learn how to work what she's got.  Walking like your arms are taped to your side is not sexy.  It's awkward just looking at her.

"Candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup."

Juan Martin del Potro, or "Little Crazy Elf" as the kids over at TennisWorld like to call him, is quietly tearing through the depleted hard court fields.  He's on a 19-match winning streak and this is his fourth straight title, backing up the title he won over Andy Roddick last week in LA. 

And as for Andy Roddick's huge "I need to stay home and prepare for the US Open" gamble?  Not looking great.  He lost in the quarters of DC to #3 Serb Viktor Troicki.  Great win for Troicki but seriously, what is up with Andy?  This can't help his confidence.  He's admitting that he's not serving or hitting his forehand well.  Hmmm....might want to fix that before you get to NYC.  Things are definitely not looking good for him, especially considering the form of the top players who did participate in Beijing.

As for the Ladies this week, short Russian on the totem pole Nadia Petrova continued the run of Russian dominance on Sunday at won both the singles title and the doubles title in Cincy.  Nadia beat another Russian, Maria Kirilenko in the semis, and then outclassed the classy Natalie Dechy in the final.  Congrats, Nadia.