Forty Deuce

Bepa's Madonna Arms Get It Done

Nice win for CanWoz at the expense of Momo.  64 60?  What happened, Amelie?

 

Nails did what she does, bitchslapping the ever annoying Burrito, 61 63.  Nice to see Nails back in form after her injury.  Keep it up, China!

 

And finally, in Badassery news, Flavia double-bageled Sania and Bepa came back from dropping the first set to Chakky to double 'sticking her.  Kudos, ladies.

Burrito and the Butterfly

With all the chaos of Toronto and Cincy last week this little news item flew under the radar.  The Burrito is leaving Bollitieri's and will join Pavs and Grigor at the Mouratoglou Academy in France. 

Hmmm...one of these things is not like the other....

"He's Such a Copycat."

A few of you have written inquiring as to when the next installment of the Forty Deuce podcast would be up.  Here's the deal: It is SUPER awkward to do a podcast by yourself.  And with my partner in crime (heh), Love All, off at an undisclosed location for much of this year, I've had to shelve the podcasts.  Unfortunately my dog has very little to say about tennis.

But you can't say that I don't listen so here's the next installment, wherein I've roped in Forty Deuce regulars Sodapop, Carrie, and Victoria, to talk about everything from my general apathy towards Ana's losses, illegal immigration, and Stan's second fiddle, to how badly the WTA marketing department has failed, our love for tennis umpires, and the intimate details contained in Sodapop's diary.  You'll have to excuse any technical issues.  I'm still trying to master it all.  But I'll get it all worked out and I can promise your tech savvy and topically focused p-casts in the future.

I'm warning you, it's a long one and very WTA heavy.  Perfect for sitting in traffic while you're on your way to wherever you don't want to be.

Download Here.

Pic This: Feel Good Edition.

Wow.  Those guys are really talented.  You really have to keep your head still.


I could just drink a whole bottle of vodka off that.  After I do my laundry, of course.


Uh...don't you have a "not feeling too good" wife to get to? 

Can't you survey your conquered kingdom another time?


Round 2, Phil.  Round 2.

Props to AiRon Woman.  She is a thousand years old, this is her gajillionth Slam, and she's into the third round.  Unfortunately she's going to have to crush the soul of her BFF in the next round.

Jesus, are they teaching everyone at the Bunny Ranch the Jackknife Pump?


I just can't get over that hair.  Seriously, kid, give you big brother my number, k?


So...I'm going to go out on a limb and say the competitive fire hasn't died.


I don't know why but pics of an exhausted Mono always crack me up.


Word.


Fair and balanced.


A smiling Dani will always warm the cockles of my cold dead soul. 

Or at least the black cavity where my soul used to be. 

Obligatory Nole shot for donkeygrooming, seeing as how her other two faves are now out of the tourney.

He covered up the GOATknuckle!  Mirka totally reads Forty Deuce, y'all.


Man.  Vika looks weird.

This totally endeared me to Tommy, who I have always felt bad for but never really felt *anything* for.  A really cool unscripted moment.

Ack!  Mirka shaved her head!!!

"Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli."

Who do you call in when you need to silence someone?  Italians.  ALWAYS Italians.

Tranny took out the Burrito 76(2) 76(4), and with Masha and Burrito now out, the whole grunting hullabaloo might be silenced, too, which would be nice. 

Kamakshi's take on the grunting:

Gisela Dulko also was asked a couple of times about Maria Sharapova's grunting today, but she wouldn't bite.

There's clearly a determined campaign under way to make the grunting an issue. In other situations I'd avoid piling on, but here I really do think it's long overdue.

True, it's a bit unfair on the girls currently being targeted -- they're just the latest in a long chain of progression. First there was one, then a louder one, then an even louder one -- all the time we've been too polite to make a scene about it, and it's finally reached a level where people can't take it anymore.

It's sad that it had to come to this. The powers that be don't seem take proactive steps anymore; they just wait 'til something becomes such a public issue that it can't be avoided anymore.

The antigrunting forces may finally be gaining enough critical mass to force some kind of clampdown, so it's hard to resist giving it a nudge in the right direction.

The shrieking actually isn't that bad when watching live, but it can get intolerable on TV -- which, after all, is how most people watch tennis.

And for all the efforts to introduce on-the-court coaching and fiddling with changeovers and all the rest to please casual TV viewers, the two most effective measures, better camera angles and gagging the grunting, have gotten no attention.

Better camera angles.  Dare to dream.

Air Quotes: What Is This A Deposition?

Ok, Burrito's grunting annoys me.  But this whole presser is off the charts.  Gotta love the moderator's attempt at...moderating.  Moderation 8%.

Q. Did you purposely turn down the voice level today after the complaints made by your opponent in Paris?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: Well, I tried to be quiet for you guys today (smiling).

But, no, I mean, today I played really well. I start off good, and I didn't think it was necessary to really go any louder than I was today. I was playing good.

No, the grunt goes through my intensity, and today I played good and I stayed solid throughout. So I don't think it was necessary to go much louder.

Q. Do you find if you're under pressure, is that when you make more noise playing the game of tennis?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: No. It just depends. I mean, you play, and it kind ‑‑ the grunt goes itself. Like if my body feels like it needs to grunt more, it grunts. If not, it stays quiet.

Q. Were you asked by Wimbledon before the match not to do it?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: No, no.

Q. You weren't?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: No.

Q. Or even just to watch it?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: No, nothing. I just went out there. Nobody told me anything, 'cause I don't think it's necessary for anybody tell me anything 'cause it's part of my game. It's something I do.

Q. Have you been upset by the criticism that you've had because of the noise levels?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: Well, if I did, I don't think I would have played so well like I did today. Just winning my match today, it just shows you that it didn't really affect me, or else I would have never played as well as I did today.

THE MODERATOR: Perhaps we could move off the noise question.

Q. There's one thing I don't understand. You said it's the body that kind of makes the noise, but you also said, and I don't know if you were joking at the beginning, that you wanted to keep it quiet for everybody.

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: No.

Q. What is the reality? Is it mind over matter, or is it just something that happens? How much control do you have over this?

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO: No, I was actually joking.

No, it's just something I've done at a very young age. And, yes, it is my mind, my body. It's just how the match goes. I just grunt. I have nothing else to say about it.

THE MODERATOR: No more noisy questions. Can we move on to tennis or other aspects of the match we've seen.

Handshake of the Year (2009): Nominee

MLDB v Rezai  Uploaded by SteffiGrafWIMBY

Feel the love.

Air Quotes: We Should Be So Lucky

"I think she's just going through a phase."
-- Aravane Rezai, on Michelle Larcher de Brito's on-court screaming.

Pic This: It Finally Gets Interesting

Get ready, Paris.  If you hated Shrieka, you're going to hate this one.

Disco Cone won a match!  And gave an awesome presser to boot.

...

...

...

I'm sorry.  What were we talking about?  My mind wandered.

Uh.  Ok.

Yes, we can smell what Marat is cooking.  And it smells like a big pile of bullshit.

I don't know why I thought Jay-Z would do well here. 

It's ok, Purple One.  Go get ready for Wimbly.

Le sigh.  Love you.

I look through a lot of tennis pictures everyday.  And the reality is that these players are so technically sound that it becomes rare that you see an action shot of a player that looks new. 

This one looked new.  Her face isn't all contorted, she's balanced, and she's statuesque. 

Love it.

Agnes rockin the punk Fila dress.  She won!  I can't really explain my affinity for Agnes. But I'm really happy she's winning again.

(A)KO

Poor Anne.

She really didn't play badly, certainly nowhere near the level where you'd expect someone to get double bagelled. An awful lot of those games went to 30-30 or deuce, sometimes multiple deuces. She had a great clay season coming into Roland Garros and even with an unlucky draw, deserved better than that. After all, Dina's had problems with players a lot worse than AKO.

But Dinara was just on a mission today. It wasn't her best performance by any means, but she did the most important thing-- she played the big points big. In the middle of the second set, AKO was up 40-0 on her own serve and the crowd went wild-- but a few minutes later, Dinara had heartlessly broken her once again. Sad for Anne, who really played well enough to win a few games, but an important start for Dinara, proving to herself that she can hold it together and decimate an in-form player.

In other news, Kleybs is out; Aravane's in; Kolya's through; Rafa is serving for the second set in a surprisingly close match (!!!) with a guy Justin Gimelstob assures us has "played a lot of Challengers"; The Burrito got bagelled in the first set by Melanie South; Stan's just into a 5th set against Devilder, and Venus is at a set all (!!!) with Bethanie Mattek, but up a break in the 3rd. The most stunning news from that match, of course, is that Bethanie is not the worst dressed player on the court.

Estoril: Tuesday OOP

The Burrito lost today but will get another bite at the apple.  She gets the Lucky Loser spot and will face Shahar. 

CENTRAL start 11:00am
[LL] M Larcherde Brito (POR) vs [7] S Peer (ISR) - WTA
Not Before 1:45 PM
[3] D Ferrer (ESP) vs D Gimeno-Traver (ESP) - ATP
Not Before 4:00 PM
A Golubev (KAZ) vs [2] N Davydenko (RUS) - ATP
[WC] F Gil (POR) / R Machado (POR) vs M Fish (USA) / D Martin (USA) - ATP

CENTRALITO start 11:00am
[WC] F Piedade (POR) vs M Ani (EST) - WTA
[Q] S Fichman (CAN) vs [2] M Kirilenko (RUS) - WTA
J Ferrero (ESP) vs [Q] M Kukushkin (KAZ) - ATP
J Monaco (ARG) vs [Q] P Cuevas (URU) - ATP
M Czink (HUN) / N Grandin (RSA) vs A Dulgheru (ROU) / N Silva (POR) - WTA

COURT #1 start 11:00am
K Flipkens (BEL) vs [4] S Lisicki (GER) - WTA
Not Before 12:00 PM
[8] F Serra (FRA) vs D Junqueira (ARG) - ATP
[3] S Cirstea (ROU) vs K Date Krumm (JPN) - WTA
J Blake (USA) / R Kendrick (USA) vs T Gabashvili (RUS) / D Junqueira (ARG) - WTA
Y Beygelzimer (UKR) / C Scheepers (RSA) vs S Fichman (CAN) / K Marosi (HUN) - WTA

COURT #2 start 11:00am
[Q] E Bovina (RUS) vs A Kudryavtseva (RUS) - WTA
[Q] E Fernandez-Brugues (ESP) vs M Czink (HUN) - WTA
I Navarro (ESP) vs A Martin (ESP) - ATP
J Groth (SVK) / F Piedade (POR) vs V Diatchenko (RUS) / E Dzehalevich (BLR) - WTA

COURT #3 start 11:00am
[6] E Makarova (RUS) vs P Cetkovska (CZE) - WTA
J Coin (FRA) vs M Salerni (ARG) - WTA
B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) vs [Q] S Soler Espinosa (ESP) - WTA
O Govortsova (BLR) vs [LL] E Ivanova (RUS) - WTA

COURT #4 start 11:00am
Y Wickmayer (BEL) vs [5] P Kvitova (CZE) - WTA
Not Before 12:00 PM
[Q] R Sweeting (USA) vs [7] A Montanes (ESP) - ATP
S Greul (GER) vs [Q] R Hocevar (BRA) - ATP
O Hernandez (ESP) / A Montanes (ESP) vs [4] M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) - ATP
J Coin (FRA) / M Pelletier (CAN) vs M Ani (EST) / K Barrois (GER) - WTA

Burrito Watch: Are There Burritos In Sweden?

How's this for a performance.  The Burrito took out Sophia Arvidsson 62 60 in 39 minutes in Memphis.  Wow.

There Must Be Some Toros In The Atmosphere

The JB Group Classic exhibition in Hong Kong officially got underway today, and Team Russia fired the first shot.  Bepa beat Zheng 76(3) 64 and Chakky beat Sania 64 64.  Bepa's match was appanrently a break-a-thon, with 13 breaks of service.

In the doubles match, Team Europe beat Team America 64 75.

I think it's hilarious that JJ makes the Burrito look like a midget.  On, and JJ?  Just because you leave the stencil off doesn't mean we don't know it's still a Prince.  Nice to see her back in the shorts though.  She's one of the few that can pull off the on-court shorts look.

World War III. Of Course JJ's Involved.

Uh...where's Venus?

The JB Group Classic exhibition is set to officially kick off on Wednesday with Team Russia vs. Team Asia/Pacific and Team Americas vs. Team Europe.

But before the official start of the exo, the "Stars of Tomorrow" (no pressure) played two exhibition matches.  Coco Vandeweghe beat the Burrito in three sets, 36 63 64, and Zhang Lin beat Alexandra Panova, 57 63 10-8.  Nice win for CoCo.

More pics from the players' gathering:

Note to JJ.  Never EVER turn your back on Chakky.  She will cut you.  And then seduce the PI she hires to investigate your murder.


I kinda want to see a knife fight between these two. 

Zheng Jie is adorable.  I just want to pick her up and put her in my pocket.  I do not want to do the same with JJ.  If I did put her in my pocket she would probably disintegrate into a handful of glitter.  And that shit is a pain to clean out of your pockets.

Future stars?  Pavlova looks like Nads' cuter kid sister.

Will Russia Roll In Hong Kong?

Here are the details for the JB Group Classic, which is set to take place in Hong Kong on January 7-10:

Global Team Event headed up by Stars – Jankovic, Sharapova, Williams & Zheng Jie

(Hong Kong, November 27th, 2008) Organisers announced today a star-studded line up to take part in the J B • GROUP Classic 2009, a World Team Challenge.
 
The Hong Kong Tennis Patrons’ Association (HKTPA) recently created a new concept for their January Event. The J B • GROUP Classic will feature teams from four regions of the globe, Team Europe, Team Russia, Team Americas and Team Asia Pacific. There are 3 players to each team and full details of each team and the format were announced today.
 
Team Europe
Jelena Jankovic (Serbia) – World No. 1
Agnes Szavay (Hungary) – China Open Champion 2007
Michelle Larcher De Brito (Portugal) – Portuguese No. 1

Team Russia
Maria Sharapova (Russia) – Australian Open Champion 2008
Vera Zvonareva (Russia) – World No. 7
Alexandra Panova (Russia) – Star of the Future

Team Americas
Venus Williams (USA) – Wimbledon Champion 2008
Gisela Dulko (Argentina) – South American No. 1
Coco Vandeweghe (USA) – US Open Junior Champion 2008
    
Team Asia Pacific
Zheng Jie (China) – Wimbledon Semi finalist 2008
Sania Mirza (India) –Indian No. 1
Zhang Ling (Hong Kong) – Hong Kong No. 1

The Hong Kong Tennis Patrons’ Association released details of the Tournament Format and Draw for the J B • GROUP Classic 2009 World Team Challenge.
 
The Semi Finals
Team Russia play Team Asia Pacific 
AND
Team Americas play Team Europe
 
Each semi final will consist of 2 singles matches and 1 doubles match. Winners of the two semi finals go into the J B Gold Group Final and Losers go into the J B Silver Group Final where they will play to determine the Champions of both groups.
 
In the J B Gold Group, the winners of the J B • GROUP Classic 2009 will be determined by a round of 5 matches consisting of 4 singles matches and a doubles match, just like the Davis or Federation Cups.

That's a damn strong Russian team.  They should steamroll Asia into the final.

The most intriguing match-up?  Venus/Coco vs. JJ/Burrito.  That should be a fun one to watch if only for JJ's reaction upon hearing Burrito's epic squeal/grunt/scream.  I can hear her in my head saying "Oh my God.  You gotta be kidding me.  What the hell is that?"

Burrito Watch 08: Ooh! Cirstea!

It's been a while but The Burrito is in action this week in Tashkent and she's doing well.  She's into the quarterfinals and will face Forty Deuce fave Sorana Cirstea.  This could be a tough match for her.  I've been impressed with Cirstea ever since she gave Baby E a bit of a scare in Melbourne this year.

Burrito Watch 08: Bonjour Montreal!

The Burrito has endured quallies once again and has made the main draw of Montreal.  She's been put into the bottom half of Ana's side, in Kuzzie's quarter.  She'll play Vania King in the first round on Monday, and either Playmate Harkleroad or Flava Flav Pennetta will meet her in the second.  If she makes the third round she could play Sveta, assuming Sveta can get past Alla Kudrayavtseva.

But you know what happens when you assume....

No Burrito in LA.

Michelle Larcher de Brito lost in the LA qualies to Ahsha Rolle on Saturday.  Hopefully she rights the ship in Montreal.

And yes, henceforth she will be known as The Burrito because I can't type out her whole name every frickin' time.

Will she shriek her way to a top 100 ranking?

Mucho props to the Portuguese Whistle for taking a seemingly sluggish Serena to three sets at Stanford on Wednesday.  De Brito faded in the end but her game seems to be coming together and at only 15 she has that brash confidence that will take her far.  My question is whether she'll be able to control her emotions as expectations mount and the stakes get bigger.  She seems to have quite the temper.

In other news, Vera "Neverending Tears" Zvonereva got dumped by lucky loser Sam "I wear my sunglasses at night" Stosur, and Anne "Britain's #1 until Laura Robson plays again" was 4-1 up in the third set against Marion "I could make a fat joke but it's too easy" Bartoli but couldn't hold off the Frenchie and lost 7-5 in the third.  Ai "Iron Woman" Sugiyama continued her ownership of Dani "I love losing to my friends" Hantuchova, though I'll be easy on Dani H. as she's coming off a pretty rough foot injury.

So the draw has opened up, but it's looking like a ReRe/Chakky final.

Side note:  When did Serena turn into Jelena Jankovic?  She played World Team Tennis last week, Stanford this week, LA next week, and then Beijing and the US Open.  Something tells me she wants the #1 ranking.

What the hell is in the water at Bollettieri's?

Everyone complains about Masha's grunting, and I get that.  But holy cow.  Up and comer Michelle Larcher de Brito takes it to a completely new level. 

MICHELLE LARCHER DE BRITO 6 juin 2007
by tennisphotos

THAT?  Is annoying.

Incidentally, the Siren Whistle scored a big win today at Stanford, beating Gisela Dulko 75 76(1).