Forty Deuce

Donkey Says...Marat Safin

I asked DG for a quote for Marat.  She sent me this.

Alrighty then.

Then she sent me this:

Either way, there's a running theme.

There's nothing to say, really. 

There are men.  And then there are MEN.  And then there's Marat. 

I have scoured the web trying to find the best Marat pics and the one thing I've learned is that every single one makes you gasp a little. 

 

In your pants.

 

 

 

There will never ever be another one like him. 

 

The perfect combination of looks, charm, and game.

 

 

I just don't think there will be another guy who is so universally lusted after by the ladies.

 

 

I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly

Get Ready, Sochi

According to the Russian Press, Marat's planning to run for Vice President of the Russian Olympic Committee.  If you thought there were a lot of free condoms before, just wait for Sochi, y'all.

No, Seriously, *This* Is My Last Goodbye.

"I just flew here all the way from Paris and boy are my arms tired."

Last night, The Russian Cup awards were held to honor our favorite crazy Russians.  Kolya was honored as Tennis Player of the Year (5th straight year as the top Russian player), Dina for Achievement of the Year (possibly for that whole #1 brouhaha but more likely for surviving the year without killing herself), and Sveta for Success of the Year (likely for this pic...or RG).

But the man of the hour was The Marat, who received yet another farewell.  Go To Tennis has a pretty great Google-Translate of the festivities.

 

Rock on.

Ok, Who Introduced Rausa To YouTube?

Too cute.

"It Looks Like It Would Hurt."

On this week's FD Podcast, we wrap up the WTA insanity, debate whether Roger cares about the non-Slams, re-evaluate (through tears) Marat's career, and I relent and actually discuss Meth-Gate.

And Victoria and I crush some Tecate.  Yeah, that's right.  We can multitask like you wouldn't believe.

FD Podcast: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

"PLEASE DON'T RETIRE!!!"

Flashback: Mrs. Saifn and I say au revoir to Marat in Indian Wells.

"Not Goodbye. See You Soon."

Retirement blowjobs for all.

The always entertaining and forever frustrating career of the Big Man is over, after he fought and fell to JMDP (trivia answer!) in three sets, 64 57 64.  That's not a shabby way to bow out.

And Elfie was a whole lotta adorable about it.

Match point and ceremony. Marat, self-deprecating to the end.

And so this long drawn out Dead Man Walking saga ends not with a bang or a whimper, but with smiles and warmth.  Sure, it wasn't the pull on the heartstrings hoopla that Shanghai brought, but the Paris goodbye, which was just as heartfelt, just seemed right.   

This is the tribute video put together by the ATP.

 

Admit It. You Don't Want To Leave.

So enigmatic.  So sexy.  So ridiculous. 

He's the closest thing we have to a Don Draper on the ATP tour.

And just like D2, right when you thought he was on the brink and about to pack it up, he sacks up and shows everyone why we love him: His Balls.  Serving to stay in the match, Marat was faced with double match point.  What'd he do?  He reached back and fired a bunch of aces to get himself out of the jam.  All in all he would save 3 match points and go on to win the match in a tiebreak.

And so he lives to fight off retirement.  But not for long.  He plays Elfie on Wednesday.

Try not to get kicked in the face, k?

Singles - First Round

A Seppi (ITA) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 63 63
I Karlovic (CRO) d P Cuevas (URU) 76(3) 64
T Berdych (CZE) d [Q] V Millot (FRA) 63 76(4)
[Q] L Kubot (POL) d A Beck (GER) 64 36 64
V Troicki (SRB) d P Mathieu (FRA) 76(4) 30 ret. (right calf)
A Montanes (ESP) d V Hanescu (ROU) 36 63 76(3)
J Isner (USA) d [Q] A Falla (COL) 46 76(10) 75 - saved 3 M.P.
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d [Q] T Ascione (FRA) 64 46 76(3) - saved 3 M.P.
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [WC] S Grosjean (FRA) 76(2) 64

Pic This: Alexandre P. Keatonov

(Nickname courtesy of Sodapop)

So Teimuraz Gebashvili and Marat went to an orphanage and Marat proceeded to take pictures with one of the cutest children I have ever, ever seen.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Safin; I hope you had time to review my briefing on the business proposal?"

 

"As I'm sure you read, the market is ripe for a reality show/sitcom based around an aging athlete and his 4-year-old genius sidekick."

"I've been working on a new shot for the glossies.  I think it's gonna be a hit."

"He Knows When All The New Collections Are Coming Out."

There's a reason Igor's snagged MaKiri. He's awesome. Also, was Kolya changing his oil before his sit down interview? Distracting.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do. *Such* a Dad Move.

Another video from Marat's Adventure in Babysitting. But this time we have real footage of him interacting with a kid. And according to those in the know, here's what was said:

Boy: *Cough*
Marat: "You smoke a lot?"
Boy: "Noooo! Do you smoke?"
Marat: "I don't, but I also don't cough."
Boy: "I have been sick."
Girl: "Smoking is bad for one's health"
Marat: "Exactly. Tell him!"
Boy: "But I don't smoke!"

Hope that kid doesn't have access to the internet.

There Is Balance in Safinland

Marat continued his impressive Round 1 winning ways by beating Richard in two tough straight sets in St. Pete's.  To quote Mrs. Saifn, "Marat defeats Gasquet 7-6 6-4, furthering my theory that only one Safin can win a match on any given day."  So true.

Singles – Second Round
[2] V Hanescu (ROU) d I Marchenko (UKR) 63 64
E Gulbis (LAT) d [4] J Chardy (FRA) 76(7) 63
[8] H Zeballos (ARG) d [Q] O Dolgopolov Jr. (UKR) 63 61
B Phau (GER) d K Beck (SVK) 64 21 ret. (respiratory illness)

Singles – First Round
[1] M Youzhny (RUS) d A Golubev (KAZ) 63 62
I Kunitsyn (RUS) d [7] P Cuevas (URU) 64 63
M Safin (RUS) d R Gasquet (FRA) 76(5) 64

In Vienna, Tipsy scored a solid win over the always tricky tall guy, 76(4) 64.  Nice couple of weeks he's having. 

Singles – Second Round
[2] R Stepanek (CZE) d F Gil (POR) 62 63
[4] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d V Crivoi (ROU) 62 30 ret. (right shoulder)
[5] N Almagro (ESP) d W Odesnik (USA) 64 64

Singles – First Round
[3] G Monfils (FRA) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 75 64
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d [8] J Isner (SRB) 76(4) 64
D Koellerer (AUT) d J Nieminen (FIN) 61 62
[Q] D Hrbaty (SVK) d R Ramirez Hidalgo (ESP) 63 64

And over in Lyon, Simon took Gilly to the mat before going down.  And yes, I meant that the way it sounded.

Singles – Second Round
[5] J Benneteau (FRA) d [Q] K Anderson (RSA) 75 62
F Serra (FRA) d [8] A Montanes (ESP) 75 63

Singles – First Round
[2] G Simon (FRA) d S Bolelli (ITA) 76(5) 76(5)
[6] P Mathieu (FRA) d L Mayer (ARG) 76(5) 62
N Kiefer (GER) d [WC] S Grosjean (FRA) 46 76(7) 76(2) – Saved 2 M.P.
O Rochus (BEL) d [Q] V Millot (FRA) 63 62

Marat Is About As Good At Retiring As I Am At Quitting My Job.

Team Russia is looking mighty awesome right about now.

Team Russia: Marat Safin, Maria Sharapova, Vera Zvonareva
Team Asia: Paradorn Srichaphan, Zheng Jie, Ayumi Morita
Team America: Michael Chang, Venus Williams, Gisela Dulko
Team Europe: Stefan Edberg, Caroline Wozniacki, Victoria Azarenka

Please let there be Marat/Masha and Stefan/Vika mixed dubs.  The former for the awesomeness, the latter for the complete and utter mindfuck.

So do you think the HK organizers changed the format to include the old fogies so that they could convince Marat to play?  For a guy who keeps complaining about how much tennis sucks he sure does keep playing.  I'm guessing it's because the weather in HK in January is 92% better than the weather in Mother Russia.  Either that or the touching/cheezy Asian tributes really touched a nerve.

In other news... STEFAN!!!

"Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women."

I'd call you "Papa", Marat. But something tells me that's not what you meant.

Thanks to New Balls, Please for finding this.

Pretty Is As Pretty Does, Indeed

What the hell has gotten into Marat? 

The guy shaves, flies east, and starts playing like he cares.  I can't process it.  Congrats on the three set win over Kolya, Maratski. 

Loved the love between these two.  Marat's always been Kolya's #1 fan. 

Moskau, Moskau!

The biggie for this week is Kremlin Cup; an ATP 250 for the men and a Premier for the women.  Since it's the week before Doha, most of the top women are giving Moscow a miss.  Never mind that, though, because the four women still in contention for the last spot/alternate status at YEC are all playing.  Davai!

ATP

Nads did the draw.  This is a picture of her immediately after she drew Safin/Davydenko for the first round.  Heh.

 

Yeah, well done, Nads.  So, I suppose we can expect Marat to exit stage right from his last Kremlin Cup relatively early.  Although he did beat Kolya there last year.  Anyway...

Draw

Top Four Seeds: Kolya, Victor Hanescu, Misha, Igor Andreev

Potential Quarterfinals: Kolya/Martin Vassallo Arguello, Igor/Janko, Misha/Fabrice, Hanescu/Pablo Cuevas

Potential Interesting Early Matches: Kolya/Marat (1R)

Interesting Story Lines: Will Igor Andreev repeat as "Mr. Fair Play"?  Will Marat actually give a shit? 

WTA

 

Draw

Top Four Seeds: Vera, JJ, Aga, Flavs

Potential Quarterfinals: Vera/Nads, JJ/Lena V, Aga/Franny, Flavs/Dominika

Potential Interesting Early Matches: CanWoz/Errani (1R), Flavs/Agnes (1R), JJ/Shvedova (1R), Vera/Pavs (2R), Aga/Winner of CanWoz v. Errani (2R), Franny/Sorana (2R), Flavs/Dushevina (2R), JJ/Lucie (2R)

Interesting Story Line: 4 players. 3 YEC spots.  Bring.  It.  On.

Just Stand There and Be Pretty

Seems like Marat is getting a little cranky in his old age.

 

No no no, put the microphone down!

After losing to the Berd today, Marat decided to lecture his fellow ATPers on the importance of manning up and just accepting that you're going to lose, already.

“Just come on; just grow up a little bit; 26 years old; just deal 

with that,” he said. “If you’re losing, just be a man; be a man and 

lose as a man. Don’t pretend that you are injured and then you start 

running around and start to hit winners and then all of a sudden you 

pull the hands up in the air after winning the match? So then of 

course the guy will say: ‘No, I’ve been injured but then I felt a little bit 

better’. Of course he will find 10,000 excuses. Still, it’s not enough. 

You’re playing or you’re not playing. If you’re playing, so just shut…up 

and play.”

Then again, Marat believing that if you're losing, you should just... lose explains so much about the last eight years of his career.  Look, I love him as much as any straight girl, but IMO accusing your opponent of faking an injury is about the lowest of the low.  Plus, if Marat can't deal with waiting through his opponent calling for a trainer, that's not really his opponent's fault.  Stop making 10,000 excuses!  Just accept responsibility for your own insanity, Marat.  

And then there was this hilarious logic fail...

“In 2004 we had this discussion in Olympic Games with Roddick about

it and they were blaming me that I’m playing too much, and I was 

saying that the season is too long. We should make it shorter. And the 

guys, they jumped on me, like I was the one who was wrong. So look at 

all of them—everybody is falling apart. Everybody is getting injured left 

and right, and everybody is complaining the season is long. It takes six 

years to realise that something is wrong? They just have to deal with that, 

not when they are 21 and ambitious and want to make money. They have to 

think a little bit with their brains and to make the career a little bit longer.”

I love the bitterness that because no one listened to him five years ago, now they all just have to suck it up and deal.  Relax, Marat.  You were right then, and the point is right now too.  If the reason it fell through before was that no one else supported you, maybe some support for the point now wouldn't go awry, hmmm?  Less bitter, more obnoxiously magnanimous.  It's definitely the way to go.

In the end, Marat lost because he couldn't keep his forehand together, not because Tomas took a bazillion (or, from what I can tell from the limited amount of that match I've seen, two) medical timeouts.  And I very rarely have any sympathy for the "refusing to shake your opponent's hand" stance.  But Shanghai did give him a nice send-off, including an incredibly awesome Marat montage to "Wild Thing", though.  LOLZ.  And, of course, there was some hilarious signage:

Get in line, ladies.

Cheeky British Humor

Ahem. 

So this pic pretty much sums up my impression of the Wimbledon Museum. 

It was unintentionally hilarious.

 

Another gem, which, when you pull back, reveals a third bunny:

 

Random?  Yes.  Awesome?  Absolutely.

 

The Champions display is right when you get to the bottom of the stairs.  I saw this.  I laughed quite hard.  I may have said, "They have the fuckin' Sergeant Pepper jacket???" a little too loud.  I really shouldn't drink before noon.

Fed shoes.

 

Dick shoes.

Muzz's shorts.  Unfortunately I left my glass cutter at the flat. 

Not gonna lie.  Wanted to smell them.

DG kept pointing out ugly pictures of Muzz in the Wimbly Store and asking, "Really, dude?  This guy?"

Yes, dude.  That guy.  To quote Brodie, "I would."

Nice that they gave Lena D some love.  This was her semifinal outfit. 

In a rather impossible feat, it looks even cheaper in person.

 

Billy Jean King and Rod Laver's racquets.  Seemed like something I should geek out at. 

Ashamed to admit I did not. 

There was actually quite a bit of historical stuff about the evolution of lawn tennis.  Here's my problem though: I actually kind of hate grass court tennis.  So it was difficult to actually care.  Also, the whole grass thing seems elitist and Victorian.  As you all know, I am a woman of the people.  It was hard not to roll my eyes at some of the displays.

Enjoyed seeing the white balls though.  Mainly because I like white balls.

Movingrightalong...

 

I was very confused by this.

 

Donkeygrooming found this one.  Shirtless Marat?  Wimbly knows what's up.

 

And in the most random pairing of players on the wall....

All in all it was a fun to see the museum but I wouldn't pay separately to see the stuff that was there.  If you book a tour then the museum admission is included.  One thing that surprised me: How little was made of the GMOAT.  I hope that's because they're trying to figure out how to best commemorate the match.  It would have been really cool to see the grass/dirt stained shirt Rafa wore when he fell to the ground.  Or even some video with commentary.  

Then again, maybe that's not Wimbledon's style.  It's clear from the tour and the museum that they want to focus on the full narrative of Wimbledon and not just singular moments. 

Shanghai'd

It's so bizarre to be writing about these matches almost 24 hours after they happened.  Oh, Asian tennis.

It is just not right for someone to be that beautiful.  At least he won today, giving his Chinese devotees at least one more opportunity to enjoy the show.  They're really turning it out for his farewell tour, the signs in the audience are not quite as good as the Savage Garden lyrics in Beijing, but they're still pretty great.

 

"Just be yourself"?  Awesome.  And is that a... puppy in a dress on the bottom one?  [sigh]  It's not just Marat I'll miss, it's the insanity he generates.  Anyway, no major surprises today in Shanghai; all the seeds who played won, as did Stan and Blah.  Of course, all the seeds winning means we also got this:

 

... as Richie went out in straights to #16 seed Ferrer.  There was also the little matter of Ernie losing in straights to Fabio Fognini.  I'm sure it must have been something about the eyebrows.  Personally, I really believe that these two people must be the two must frustrating players to be a fan of, like, in the tennis universe.  How do people subsist for so long on nothing but unfulfilled talent?  Okay, I guess at least Ernie is still pretty young.  But Gasquet fans... that's some major devotion.

(Speaking of, I'm actually watching the rerun of Ferrer/Gasquet right now, and the commentators just described Dah-veed as "a very adequate volleyer".  That goes right under the heading "Damning with Faint Praise.")

Singles - First Round
[10] F Gonzalez (CHI) d M Zverev (GER) 75 67(0) 22 ret. (right wrist)
[13] R Stepanek (CZE) d J Ferrero (ESP) 63 60
[14] T Robredo (ESP) d [Q] M Llodra (FRA) 61 64
[16] D Ferrer (ESP) d R Gasquet (FRA) 64 63
J Blake (USA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 36 76(4) 63
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d [WC] M Gong (CHN) 64 64
S Wawrinka (SUI) [Q] L Kubot (POL) 26 76(5) 76(3)
[Q] F Mayer (GER) d P Petzschner (GER) 63 62
[Q] R Schuettler (GER) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 64 36 76(2)
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d [WC] E Gulbis (LAT) 76(3) 63
[Q] T Bellucci (BRA) d [Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) 76(3) 64

Oh, Yeah, Marat. I Can Hear You.

Yes, there was a tennis match. 

And yes, Rafa demolished Marat.  But Marat played well and so did Rafa and that's all I can ask. 

 

But you know, this wasn't about the match. 

I take back all the shit I talked about Beijing.  They really did a fun job with the farewell they gave and Marat looked genuinely touched.

""Watching you play show me another kind of pleasure." You and me both, honey.


Oh, Dina. Why you gotta make me cry. And Lolz at Marat's Nole snark afterwards. A "true man" indeed.

Smooches.

Rafa vs. Marat. Excuse Me While I Slip Into Something A Little More Comfortable.

AHHHH!!! It's really happening!!!

Whenever I get asked "how can you possibly stay up in the middle of the night to watch tennis on your computer" I will cite last night as Exhibit A.  Which is a bit ironic because I totally fell asleep after Rafa won, which means I missed EVERYTHING.

First, Rafa was genuinely tested by Blah in his three set win.  Who would have thunk it?  I mean, the only reason I watched the match was because I couldn't sleep and I was kinda hoping I could stay up for Marat (that's what HE said!).  I figured Rafa would roll right over Blah but Blah stood strong for 2 sets and a half.  Rafa actually had multiple match points in the second set and couldn't convert, getting broken back (he may have been up 40-0) and then dropping the TB.  Then in the second set, Blah had triple break point on Rafa's serve early in the set and Rafa somehow found a way to claw himself back in and hold.  After that, the momentum totally shifted and Rafa would break Blah a few games later and serve out the set.  Great fight from Rafa, and a solid performance from Blah, who hit some pretty amazing returns all match.

Then, in the "clearly I shouldn't put myself through this" match, Marat inexplicably took out Gonzo.  In straight sets.  Kinda easily.  So...Marat is in the quarterfinals.  Of Beijing.  I don't understand it but I like it.

So two former #1s will battle it out.  Kinda sad that they've only played each other once in their careers, with Rafa besting Marat over a year ago.  And you know what, it'll probably happen again.  But if yesterday's action proved anything, it's that there's a reason these players suit up and take the court.  You never know what will happen.

Pic This: Hot Is Hot In Any Language

Big Brother Shows The Way

See?  It's not *that* hard to win a first round match.

Marat beats Chucho 64 62.  Not all is lost.

Pic This: Around Beijing

Big Sasha!

Sigh....

Here's the thing.  For the longest time all the stories coming out about Ivo were about how fucking shy he was.  Yet all that I can remember of him for the past year is booty slapping dances, explicit rapping, and pics like this.  Shy people don't do that shit, yo.

 

Love her.

 

Pinky.

 

In Mother Russia, pink wears you.

Pic This: Even Prime Ministers Get Star Struck

Pic This: Cuties.

And they won!

Pic This: This Is What a Marat Win Looks Like

A little bit of this...

A little bit of this...

And a whole lot of this in between:

Bless.

In other news, Marat may have won the match because Petzschner died.  Not sure.

Welcome To Asia, Boys.

Marat plays Petzschner in Bangkok today.  Petz beat him in the first round last year.  That's really all you need to know.

Over in Kuala Lumpur, the Malaysian Open kicks off with a solid lineup.  And Kolya's short shorts.

There've already been some nice wins by Taylor Dent and Marcos in the first round.  Unfortunately the "curiously pretty" factor took a hit as FeLo was upset today by Vassallo Arguello.

More tennis, less birds, honey.

Marat In Shining Armor

What the fuck is Hannah Storm doing there and why isn't there a sock in her mouth?  Also, I'm very distracted by Marat's hands.  Augh.  WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US???

Pic This: Muggy

Day 3 is in the books and the first rounds on both sides are complete.  

Hike up your socks, folks, it's just getting interesting.

Surrealism.

Still the best hair in tennis.

The WAGs are out in full force.

Happy and no headlights.  Win.

Air Quotes: And Marat Makes Me Cry

From his post-match presser:

Well, everybody is hard on her why she's No. 1. You have this contest issue, is she a real No. 1 or not? You open the page, she made eight double faults, 43 unforced errors. She struggled, almost lost to 18 years old.

Who cares? I mean, she's No. 1 in the world. I have to protect my sister. The poor girl, she's trying her best. She's doing really well. She gets the attention, but not the kind of attention that a person deserves, especially when you're No. 1 in the world.

Everybody is giving her hard time about, Are you really No. 1 in the world? Yes, yes, she's really No. 1 in the world. Go check on the ranking. She didn't do the ranking.

Apparently there is some guy who made the ranking. On this ranking, she's No. 1 in the world. Serena, she didn't say even though she won two Grand Slams this year, she's No. 2. Sorry, but that's the way. Deal with that.

I'm just personally, I'm really like, I have to protect her. I feel like she deserve a little bit more than what she's getting right now. I think she's playing you can't imagine how crazy she is about sport. I don't think there is one person in the world who is more professional than her.  Everybody is like hitting on her and giving her a hard time about this, how many, what happened to this serve, what happened this, what happened with that? Leave her alone. Give her a little bit less questions. So it's just all to you guys. Make her happy. That's it.

Pic This: Scrapbook!

Practicing together yesterday. 

I don't know what they're watching but Marat looks ready to start whacking off.

And So It Goes

16 64 63 64

And so Marat said goodbye to New York amidst a standing O, in yet another match that encapsulates his career.  Such early promise, only to whither away in disappointment and loss.

Throughout his career I'm sure many of us have uttered some form of "Oh, Marat.  I wish I knew how to quit you."  Thankfully, with mercy, he's quitting us.  North America's going to miss you immensely, Maratski. 

We will be here with legs wide open if you ever choose to return.

Saluting The Captain

S.L. Price writes up the Marat obituary.  And its got some great quotage:

"He's a very broad person," says Davis Cup teammate Dmitry Tursunov. "Not just about tennis, or about women. People give him labels: He's a womanizer. But it's hard not to be a womanizer if every woman jumps at you."
...

They ask the question still about Safin, from Moscow to Manhattan: What if?  "Once I asked Marat this question and I loved his answer," says 2009 French Open champ Svetlana Kuznetsova. "Maybe it's not good for press, but he just says, 'If grandma would have balls, she would be a grandpa.' It's an expression we say it in Russian: If? What would happen if? But If didn't happen."
...

"If Marat had had 10 percent of her dedication he'd have been the No. 1 player for 10 years," his manager, Ion Tiriac, said in Paris this summer. "If Safina had 10 percent of Marat's talent, she would be 10 years the No. 1 player."

Andy Roddick...Headcase?

Could it be? Could that Wimby final have completely rejiggered his brain so that he is, officially, not clutch?

These tight losses are mounting up.  His last 4 losses?  The Wimbly final, DC final in a tight third set tiebreak, Montreal semifinal in a tight three setter, and now second round of CIncy, losing to Sam, 76(11) 76(3).

Afterwards A-Rod would say it was "just a bad night."  Yeah, that's one explanation if you get blown out.  But Sam matched him shot for shot.  Oh, and he blew a 5-2 lead in the first set tiebreak.  I don't know....

Meanwhile, Rafa had to weather the storm (literally and figuratively) to come out on top of Seppi, who played well.  God must be a Fed fan, as the rain caused a number of stoppages in play, most notably during the second set with Rafa facing a break point on his serve.  Of course, because Rafa is Rafa, he came out after the break and boomed an ace.  Awesome.

 

And in the battle of The Sex, Steps won.  Yes, these are the times we live in, folks.

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Federer (SUI) d J Acasuso (ARG) 63 75
[2] R Nadal (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 76(4) 76(3)
[3] A Murray (GBR) d N Almagro (ESP) 76(3) 62
[4] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] I Ljubicic (CRO) 76(5) 64
[Q] C Guccione (AUS) d [7] J Tsonga (FRA) 76(12) 62
[8] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 62 16 63
[16] R Stepanek (CZE) d [WC] M Safin (RUS) 46 63 61
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [Q] M Youzhny (RUS) 75 63
P Mathieu (FRA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 76(9) 64
[LL] J Benneteau (FRA) d J Melzer (AUT) 62 36 62
T Berdych (CZE) d P Petzschner (GER) 76(8) 67(7) 64
J Chardy (FRA) d [WC] J Isner (USA) 67(1) 63 41 ret.
L Hewitt (AUS) d B Becker (GER) 63 63

S Querrey (USA) d [5] A Roddick (USA) 76 

Air Quotes: The Anti-Rafa

Interesting stuff from the rumored-to-be-engaged Maratski:

Q. You've had your motivational ups and downs in your career. What do you think keeps someone like Federer so motivated all the time?

MARAT SAFIN: Being a fanatic.

Q. About what?

MARAT SAFIN: About tennis. In a nice way. I think you have to really love what you're doing. You have to love it and you have to be a very great competitor, otherwise there is no -- I cannot understand him.

Even though he's on top of his game, and the tournaments he's got, he wanted to be the best of all-time, so he achieve. Obviously he gonna go for it and try to win a couple more. He's playing great tennis and he enjoys it on the court.

He's a player. He's a real player deep inside of him.

Q. More than a lot of other people that are playing?

MARAT SAFIN: Well, he has more ability than others. Maybe a lot other players. Like Murray, he's a player. You can see that he knows what he's doing on the court and he knows exactly at what moment what's he gonna do, and he reads the point pretty well.

Same. They're pretty similar to each other. Federer probably he has a nicer technique, but the rest is very similar to each other.

Q. But Murray is young 20s and Roger is 28.

MARAT SAFIN: That is what I'm saying. They love to play and participate in the game. It's like they enjoy the moment. They enjoy being on the court.  Some people, they have more stress and they're not really enjoying and they're not really having fun in the tough moments.

But them, they enjoy it. The tougher it is -- like Nadal, for example. Same thing.

Q. Were you describing yourself as maybe someone that finds it sometimes stressful and doesn't enjoy those moments always?

MARAT SAFIN: Well, I'm not -- I don't like any sports. For example, I would not play soccer. I would not play hockey. Basketball I hate. I never watch any sports on TV. It's amazing, and I'm a tennis player.

But I don't like it, the competition. For example, if I have to play soccer against neighborhood, I will play for ten minutes and then I get bored. I'm not a player.

Q. How did you last this long at this level?

MARAT SAFIN: It's a miracle, huh? It's a miracle.

See? Winning Is Fun!!!

I just.  Want to lick.  His neck. 


Yay, Marat!  He got revenge on Ginepri, beating him in straight sets, 75 76(2). 

Lovely.

Marin bounced back from the early ousting last week to take out JCF in straight sets.  Something tells me Ferrero's running out of gas.  Meanwhile, Ivo scored a nice win over Gael, 64 67(5) 76(2).  So...LaMonf should be well rested going into the USO. 

In other upset news, Daveed took out Stan and Jeremy upset Boredo.

Singles - First Round
[9] G Simon (FRA) d [WC] W Odesnik (USA) 63 62
I Karlovic (CRO) d [13] G Monfils (FRA) 64 67(5) 76(2)
[14] M Cilic (CRO) d J Ferrero (ESP) 63 64
J Chardy (FRA) d [15] T Robredo (ESP) 63 75
[16] R Stepanek (CZE) d V Troicki (SRB) 76(2) 10 ret. (foot)
I Andreev (RUS) d N Kiefer (GER) 61 75
B Becker (GER) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 63 63
N Almagro (ESP) d D Sela (ISR) 64 10 ret. (groin)
P Mathieu (FRA) d M Zverev (GER) 67(4) 75 63
[Q] I Ljubicic (CRO) d F Serra (FRA) 46 63 64
D Ferrer (ESP) d S Wawrinka (SUI) 75 62
J Acasuso (ARG) d [Q] L Kubot (POL) 64 63
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d [WC] R Ginepri (USA) 75 76(2)
S Querrey (USA) d [Q] Y Lu (TPE) 63 64

Doubles - First Round
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d S Huss (AUS) / R Hutchins (GBR) 46 76(2) 10-3
T Berdych (CZE) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d N Davydenko (RUS) / I Kunitsyn (RUS)  57 76(4) 10-7
R Lindstedt (SWE) / M Melo (BRA) d J Coetzee (RSA) / J Erlich (ISR) 76(3) 36 14-12

Air Quotes: Marat Gets All Jason Stackhousey

From Marat's post-match presser:

Q.  Because after years when she wasn’t playing so well, are you enjoying it now?

MARAT SAFIN:  I’m enjoying it, but she ?? she’s a hard worker.  So for her, everything is like a battle.  She wants it.  She wants it badly.  She spends so much time on court.  I think she is more professional than all the players together.

So when she’s trying and she’s ?? nobody believed that she’s going to be No. 1 in the world.  Nobody believed that she going to be top 10 even two, three years ago.

So look where she is right now.  A lot of people they giving her trouble, okay, she’s No. 1 in the world but she never won a Grand Slam.

So it’s a little bit ?? it gets tough on her.  But she’s there.  She’s fighting.  She’s trying.  I’m really proud of her that she can stand, and I tell everybody to fuck off basically in every press conference.  I would do this way, but unfortunately she’s very polite to you guys.

But I’m really proud that she’s holding up herself even though that’s somebody can be really rough on her.  She’s there.  I hope she can be No. 1 for a long time so she can prove to everybody that they can go fuck themselves.

Q.  When she became No. 1 and joined you as the only brother/sister as No. 1, did you have a celebration together?

MARAT SAFIN:  We will.  I’m really proud.  I’m not proud of myself so much as I’m proud of my sister  because she’s ?? everybody spoke about me.  I know she’s the younger one.  I was No. 1 in the world, and everybody expected from her, well, we’ll see where she can get to.  And she made it.  She pulled through and became No. 1 in the world.

Well, she’s in ?? in every Grand Slam she’s in the semifinal.  She’s getting to the finals.  So it really makes me proud to have such a great sister, and I’m going to leave something, or our family will leave something in tennis.

Q.  Now that you stopped, what about coaching her?

MARAT SAFIN:  Oh, you want me to hang myself?  (laughter.)

Air Quotes: At Least He Admitted He Wanted It

"I'm realistic. I know I am not going to win (another title). There is no way.  It's getting tougher and tougher with each tournament. It really gets into you and it's not easy to play.  Every match is a battle. It's tough not to choke in the important moments. But I want to finish up in a right note. I should enjoy it more. I just want to finish up nice."

-- Marat, on how much fun his retirement tour has been.  More interesting quotes in the link.

Friends Don't Let Friends Lose To Friends.

Interesting quotage from James LaRosa's blog on friendships on tour.  Much like James, I too am obsessed with wanting these girls to (a) be buddies on tour and (b) be buddies with me (well not all of them, just the awesome ones, cuz that's how I roll).  It's cute to see CanWoz down on court and congratulating Caro in her semifinal win in that fake clay tournament that I can't think of right now, or Caro coming standing courtside cheering on Sorana, despite the fact that she was already out of the tournament.  And I like to think that, especially among the veteran players, that as crazy as I make these women out to be, they're actually way awesome people that I just want to drink beers with and watch get into bar fights (I'm looking at you, Flavs). 

Unfortunately, it looks like the stakes are just too high these days, for both the men and the women.  Per Marat:

Lest we think this is all just a chick thing, Marat Safin chimed in last week declaring the ATP tour too is full of loners in the locker room. "Nobody is friends with anybody," said Safin.  "Everyone travels with his group, there is no more friendship like when I could hang out with [Patrick] Rafter or [Mark] Philippoussis.  I don't have any friends on the tour."
...

"Sometimes it's really tough," says Cibulkova.  "Like at Roland Garros, I played against Agnes Szavay to go into the quarterfinals.  We're great friends, and to be against her on this very important match, it was tough.  But I handled it.  At first she was pissed.  We didn't actually look for each other in the locker room.  A few days after she was fine, she said well done."
...
It's that inability to separate the professional from the personal that motivated Ivanovic's original statement.  One she stands by.  "Obviously there are friends [on tour]," Ivanovic elaborates for the Sweet Spot.  "You chat with all the girls here.  [But] it's very hard to build a close friendship.  A friendship that would last after a tennis career.  It's very hard because of [that] competition."

So what you're saying is that *after* tennis you and Dina will be BFFs?  Sigh.  Fine, I'll take it.

Oh, and just because I can and should, y'all should follow James on Twitter.  You'll thank me later: http://www.twitter.com/JamesLaRosa

Here We Go Again...

I keep saying I won't fall for it and then every week I do. 

Marat lost to LaMonf, 62 36 62.  And just like last time he lost to LaMonf, Marat actually kinda almost maybe tried to win this match.  He was firing himself up (in a positive way) and playing and serving well.  And then the clock turned midnight and all went back to normal.

Marat's loss was the cherry on top of an awesome day that saw Marin bow out to Youzhny in three sets (what happened to Marin in the third?), Dima forced to retire to injury, and Samurai-less Sam fell to Petzschner.

Play continues right now as Gilly is up on Dancy in the first set.

Singles - First Round
[13] G Monfils (FRA) d M Safin (RUS) 62 36 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [14] M Cilic (CRO) 46 76(4) 61
[WC] F Niemeyer (CAN) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 75 61
R Schuettler (GER) d F Serra (FRA) 64 60
I Andreev (RUS) d D Tursunov (RUS) 55 ret. (ankle)
P Mathieu (FRA) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 75 06 61
J Chardy (FRA) d Y Lu (TPE) 67(5) 63 64
[WC] P Polansky (CAN) d [WC] B Agostinelli (CAN) 63 76(6)
S Wawrinka (SUI) d N Kiefer (GER) 64 61
P Petzschner (GER) d S Querrey (USA) 75 63

"Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A."

How do you even look at yourself in the mirror, Tommy?

I'm just going to keep these pics and run them for all of Marat's matches.  Because they pretty much tell the story.

Tommy's win sets up a juicy match against Homeboy Sam, who beat Dudi Dudi Dudi Dudi, 63 75.  On the other half of the draw we have what seems like a 2006 juniors final between Carsten Ball and Leonardo Mayr.  Carsten beat Halpert 4 and 4, and Mayr advanced after Darth Fish had to withdraw with an abdominal strain.

LA, Now 700,000% Douchier

Sam and his lovely off-hand were on display today in LA, where he needed three sets to beat fellow Yankee Ryan Sweeting, 63 67 63.  Unfortunately his doucheclan was in tow for the affair.  Whatever.

Meanwhile, Darth Fish saved 3 match points to beat Gooch.  I don't even know why I'm writing about it.  Like I care.

And in somewhat depressing news, Marat finally lost.  He and Igor fell to the BryBros in fairly boring fashion.

Are they conjoined now?  Are they even technically a doubles team?  Hey ITF, instead of going after poor Tamira Pazcek, maybe you should be investigating these freaks of nature.  Just a suggestion.

Singles – Second Round
[2] M Fish (USA) d [WC] C Guccione (AUS) 67(3) 76(12) 64 - saved 3 M.P.
[4] D Sela (ISR) d R Kendrick (USA) 64 36 61
L Mayer (ARG) d [5] I Kunitsyn (RUS) 76(5) 67(7) 63
[6] S Querrey (USA) d [Q] R Sweeting (USA) 63 67(5) 63

Doubles - Quarter-finals
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) / M Safin (RUS) 63 62
M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) d J Coetzee (RSA) / J Erlich (ISR) 61 76(9)
D Istomin (UZB) / L Mayer (ARG) d E Gulbis (LAT) / D Tursunov (RUS) 75 76(8)

Friday OOP:

STRAUS STADIUM start 12:00 noon
J Isner (USA) vs [Q] C Ball (AUS)
[4] D Sela (ISR) vs [6] S Querrey (USA)
L Mayer (ARG) vs  [2] M Fish (USA)
Not Before 8:00 PM
[1] T Haas (GER) vs [8] M Safin (RUS)
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) vs M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA)

GRANDSTAND start 12:00 noon
B Becker (GER) / F Moser (GER) vs Y Lu (TPE) / D Vemic (SRB)

"The Passing of the Baton to New Balls." Heh.

Marat's interview with Charlie Rose in 2000 after he beat Pete.

Don't ask me what he talked about. I was too busy staring at his hands.

So LA

Marat's been winning.  It's weird but it's happening.

Soak it in while you can.

Wednesday's Scores:

Singles Second Round
[1] T Haas (GER) d [WC] J Levine (USA) 61 63
[Q] C Ball (AUS) d [3] D Tursunov (RUS) 64 01 Retired
[8] M Safin (RUS) d E Gulbis (LAT) 26 63 64
J Isner (USA) d M Baghdatis (CYP) 63 76(11)

Doubles First Round
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d [WC] C Ball (AUS) / K Van't Hof (USA) 75 62
E Gulbis (LAT) / D Tursunov (RUS) d [2] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) 62 64
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Erlich (ISR) d [3] M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) 64 64
M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) d R Ginepri (USA) / J Kerr (AUS) 63 62
B Becker (GER) / F Moser (GER) d J Isner (USA) / S Querrey (USA) walkover
D Istomin (UZB) / L Mayer (ARG) d E Butorac (USA) / S Lipsky (USA) 76(5) 67(4) 10-4

Legends Singles
J Courier (USA) d S Edberg (SWE) 46 64 11-9

Thursday OOP:

STRAUS STADIUM start 12:00 noon
[4] D Sela (ISR) vs R Kendrick (USA)
Not Before 2:00 PM
[Q] R Sweeting (USA) vs [6] S Querrey (USA)
Not Before 3:30 PM
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) vs I Kunitsyn (RUS) / M Safin (RUS)
Not Before 7:30 PM
[WC] C Guccione (AUS) vs [2] M Fish (USA)
M Chang (USA) vs S Edberg (SWE) - LEGENDS SINGLES

GRANDSTAND start 12:00 noon
[5] I Kunitsyn (RUS) vs L Mayer (ARG)
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Erlich (ISR) vs M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA)
D Istomin (UZB) / L Mayer (ARG) vs E Gulbis (LAT) / D Tursunov (RUS)

"F before I, F before I..."

Much love to Mrs. Saifn's boss for giving her the afternoon off to go catch her future husband in LA:

• I got to the stadium during the Isner/Baghdatis 2nd set tiebreaker. At 10-all, Isner had a nasty fall and grabbed his leg in pain. Marcos immediately jumped the net and was the first to reach him. After a short timeout, Isner came back on court. He was having trouble putting weight on his left leg, but managed to win the next few points and the match. Marcos shook hands nicely, walked to his chair and smashed his racket. 

• For Marat I sat in the first row behind the baseline. At first it was a little embarrassing to do the S-A-F-I-N cheer by myself, but after a few beers it was less about embarrassment and more about "F before I, F before I". Towards the end of the match, a group of people at the top of the stands started using the cheer, which is awesome, unless they were making fun of me.

• I was getting worried that my good luck charm status was used up with the 3 wins in two days, but just after I texted you that Karate Kid was looking too good, Marat came back. In his on-court interview after the match he said he's staying in LA until next Thursday and that his ex-girlfriend is from here ("So is your future wife," I shouted. OK, whispered).

• There were only a few people waiting for him after the match so I stuck around and got him to sign the playing card Love All gave me at IW. I couldn't ask about the monkey because when he looked at me all I could think was, "Did he just recognize me? Does Marat know me?"

• I stayed to watch Tursunov and Gulbis play doubles against some other guys. They were laughing and joking the whole time, and they won easily. Dima got pulled wide on one shot; when the point was over he picked a flower from one of the pots lining the side wall and presented it to Ernie as a gift, who knocked it out of his hand laughing. It was a really funny moment. They are a super-cute doubles team.

Dear Mr. Mrs. Saifn's boss.  Please recognize that she has been present at all of Marat's 4 wins in three days.  She needs to be there for all his matches.  Do your part and let her go.

"S-A-I-F-N, That Is Who We Just Saw Win!"

36 63 64 over Indy champ, Robbie Ginepri.


And he made pretty while doing it.  Me thinks Mrs. Saifn is a damn lucky charm.


WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US???

Love Monkey

More tidbits from our embedded reporter, who continues to risk it all in the name of love, cougars, and monkeys:

• I drove a player that I still can't identify. He said he played yesterday, he's half French/half Persian, lives in Paris, kind of looks like Adrian Grenier. He told me about how hard it is to be a pro tennis player if you're not at the top. He's practiced 6 hours a day, every day of the week for 14 years and still has to crash at a friend's house in LA while top players stay  at fancy hotels. Really nice guy, wish I knew who he was.

• John Isner came in through the back to watch the Sampras vs. Safin exo. I stopped him for a picture, which he was happy to do, then got totally reprimanded by the volunteer coordinator.  Apparently we're not supposed to ask for pictures or autographs while in uniform, which seems lame.  At that point I felt like since I'd already gotten to meet Marat, Spades and Marcos, I was willing to risk getting "fired" to have my cougar moment with Isner.

• I got to watch the 2nd set and tiebreaker for the Safin/Consumption vs. Baghdatis/Sela match.  It totally looked like B/S were going to win, then S/C held off a few match points and all of a sudden they won.  Kunistyn told me they're playing the Bryans on Thursday.

• Then, the best part: I got to take Marat, Kunitsyn, some blonde Russian girl (Consumption's girlfriend? Very sweet girl) and a trainer back to their hotel around midnight. Marat sat up front with me. When I dropped them off, I asked if he would sign something for me and he said "Yeah, of course!" I handed him the photo and he did a double take and said, "Oh!" Then he took a long time signing it. I know it says "THANK U!!!" but can't read what's under it. I also told him I will be in the stands tonight cheering for him and he might remember the cheers from Indian Wells. He laughed.

See the now legendary autographed pic after the jump.  It is the definition of "win".

History Repeats Itself

A couple of old dudes dialed the clock back nine years and the result was the same.  Marat beat Pete in their LA exo in a tiebreak, 6-4, 3-6 (10-6).  Pete was still serving bombs but let's face it, Marat, despite his attempts to prove otherwise, is still a tour player.

I don't know what's up with the sleeveless look.  But apparently Pete's been doing some push ups.

Christiane Amanpour Reports From LA

Kinda.  Let's just say that I probably would not want to spend two days with Christiane Amanpour watching a tennis tournament, but I would definitely spend two days drunkenly wandering Indian Wells getting into all kinds of trouble with Mrs. Saifn (aka Mkeller).  Thanks to her biting wit and, more importantly, the bottle of Bacardi that she snuck onto the grounds, we got yelled at by Vika and winked at by Marat.  So yeah, us Band of Brothers roll deep.

And to prove that good things happen to rad people, Mrs. S herself is volunteering at the LA Open this week.  Some of you have probably read her tweets about the experience but if you haven't she's been kind enough to put together a quick write-up of her experience on Saturday, wherein she served as a driver for the players.  Put it this way, if you could drive two players from the LA tourney, who would you choose?

Duh.  You'd choose Marat and DJ Spades.  Hands down:

It was pretty much the greatest day of my life. Remember how I couldn't form a sentence after taking a photo with Marat at Indian Wells?  [C Note: Yes, I do.  Couldn't wipe that grin off your face for hours.]  Somehow today I drove a very expensive car with him sitting right next to me.  I looked over once and realized, "Holy shit, Marat Safin is sitting next to me and talking to me."

Highlights:

• Safin didn't appear to have a coach with him, at least not today.  I don't know who he hit with in the morning but he went back to the hotel alone (you know, alone with me).  He hit with Kunitsyn in the afternoon and they were laughing and joking in Russian but no coaches for either guy.  Maratski got frustrated after hitting several shots into the net and threw his racket all the way across the court.

• Safin said LA is one of his favorite cities and he loves Entourage and Californication

• Marcos seemed to be unhappy with how his rackets were strung.  In the morning practice they kept bringing him new rackets, and in the afternoon he had two on court with him to test out.

• Spadea wouldn't rap for me.  Since when doesn't Spadea want to rap?

• The new "Behind the Scenes" show for the ATP was following Spadea all day filming him.  I took them to the Chinese Theater and they had him point out landmarks on Sunset Blvd.  He had some really funny stories and some other stories that I feel like I should never repeat.

• All three guys were very gracious about taking a picture with me.  No one was around when I dropped off Marat so he held the camera out to take the photo.
  
  
  
  

• After my shift ended I sat in the stadium for two hours watching Marat and Marcos practice and the place was empty except for workers setting up.  Turns out the best time to be at a tournament is before it even starts.

• Dudi Sela looked super short in person.  Haas is a good looking guy.

So much awesome.  Thanks to Mrs. S for texting me the whole time and letting me live vicariously through her.  But boo on you, Vince, for declining my request for a Forty Deuce rap.  This could have been your big break, bro.

(Pics from Mrs. Saifn.  Don't fucking take them, people.  That's rude and I will track you down.)