Forty Deuce

New Swords

 

I always get really weirded out when players change racquets.  Usually they're just paintjobs, i.e., the same racquet with a new paint job, but even just the pain job changes the player's whole look. 

So buckle up because Fed and Elf are "upgrading".  I am so used to Fed's old K-Six-One.  This black/red/and gold number is tripping me out.

I do like Elf's new one though.  The black and yellow is dope.

Air Quotes: 1-Up

''He's very fast. He plays like PlayStation.''

--Juan Martin del Potro, on Kolya The Hedgehog

Pic This: New Balls, Please

Now we know what Gauloises looks like!

WTF, WTF?

Gauloises at New Balls, Please go to watch the Elf/Fed match from a corporate box at O2.  And her writeup is pretty damn awesome.  So for all your Elf/Fed "WTF was that???" needs, read her post.

And We're Off.

 

Well the hometown boy (not really, I mean, he's Scottish) didn't fuck up on the first day.  So there's that.

The match went pretty much as expected.  Andy was able to control the points early before Elfie got his forehand grooving.  They would split the first two sets and then Andy simply outlasted Elf, taking it 63 36 62.

 

Play on, Playa.

Pic This: The Mad Men Of Putnam, Powell, and Loeb

 

I'd totally watch the spin off.

ATP WTF, Sponsored By Planters Peanuts.

 

But where are the top hats and monocles?  Talk about a missed opportunity.

Either that or this is a brilliant viral marketing campaign by Planters, a la this.

Ok, I'll stop fawning but I love love LOVE the ties the ATP made for them.  The hunter green and grey?  Swoony McSwoonerson over here.

 

Aaaaaand I've stopped swooning.  Thanks, BonerKillerer.

 

I will say this about Fed.  I'm glad he's procreating so that he can pass on that head of hair.  

 

Ahem.  No kids yet for Kolya.  No coincidence I'm sure.

 

I wonder if Simon Fuller, at some point, will drug Muzz, throw him into the back of a van, drive him to some dark alley, and get a one eyed Asian dentist in a wheelchair to fix his teeth.  Because boy, those things ruin a lot of pics.  That said, they're also why I love him.  I know, I'm not right in the head.

 

Aw, perfect. 

 

Rafa looks so different from picture to picture.  Does the dampness of his hair make *that* much of a difference?

 

It's weird to see Andy actually look bigger than Rafa.

Oh yeah.  This guy.

Welcome To The Hogwart's Reunion.

 

If Shanghai made the boys look like Hitmen, London has turned them all into the most mischievous group of prep school kids this side of Manhattan.  And I LOVE it.

  

The battle for Class President begins here.

Nice to see Rafa's hair decided to dry for this pic.

  

The faves.  Or so "they" say.

  

Cute.

 

Not sure why I can't find his stock picture.  Did someone arrive a little late to the party?

 

Lucky Sod.

Shanghai Surprises

First, quality guy Ivan Ljubicic beats Nando.  Huh?  Hardly anyone loses to Ljubicic anymore.

 

I didn't see any of it, but from what I've read it sounds like he was playing terribly.  And was in a terrible mood.  I think maybe his hair is having an opposite Samson effect on him.  (Seriously, he pulled out of his doubles match with a knee injury, so there is that.)

Then there was Feli beating Dah-veed, which seems less surprising since Dah-veed is so wildly inconsistent these days, but then... it's Feli.  Who is pretty, but for most of this year hasn't really served any other purpose.

 

There's so much to say about this that I don't even know where to start.  Oh, Feli.  The shorts.

Then, there were the retirements.  JMDP made it about a set and a quarter against Melzer before he gave up the ghost (wrist injury) and Tommy H made it one set against Rainer Schuettler before calling it a day (shoulder).  I'm watching the JMDP match now and it's painful; MoLay in the chair is definitely the highlight.  All the absences, retirements and injuries in Shanghai are beginning to make it look like an actual battlefield.  Any day now, I expect someone's leg to actually fall off.

Singles - Second Round

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d J Blake (USA) 62 67(4) 64

[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] F Fognini (ITA) 63 61 
J Melzer (AUT) d [3] J del Potro (ARG) 75 21 ret. (right wrist)
[5] J Tsonga (FRA) d [WC] S Zeng (CHN) 63 63 
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [7] F Verdasco (ESP) 64 76(6)
[8] G Simon (FRA) d V Troicki (SRB) 63 64
[9] R Soderling (SWE) d N Almagro (ESP) 64 75
[11] G Monfils (FRA) d L Hewitt (AUS) 46 64 62
[14] T Robredo (ESP) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 46 76(10) 64 - Saved 3 M.P.
[Q] R Schuettler (GER) d [15] T Haas (GER) 64 ret. (right shoulder)
F Lopez (ESP) d [16] D Ferrer (ESP) 46 75 61 
T Berdych (CZE) d [WC] M Safin (RUS) 36 64 64

Pic This: Ed Hardy? More Like Ed RETARDY. Am I Right?

You really should not be caught in public looking like this guy.

There Is Definitely Something In The Tokyo Water

Elfie tore himself away from the 24/7 orgy that is Tandil to fly halfway around the world and...lose.  In straight sets.  To a qualifier.  Who looks even more elfen than him.

Congrats to Eduardo Roger-Vasselin, a French qualifier, on his 64 64 win over the #1 seed.  DelPo said he was suffering from an upset stomach and jet lag, though he didn't blame that for his loss.  Because really, DelPo should be able to beat the 189th ranked player in the world in his sleep.

Captain Awesome

The Magic Elf returned home to Tandil last week and was greeted with a bit of warmth...

Really cool stuff.

Did he learn that move from TyTy?

And what homecoming is complete without a little footie?

Fuck yeah, kid.

Pic This: Homecoming King and Queen

I want one!

 

Huh.  That trophy looks different in the light.

 

Kimmy rocking her Mommy Traveler chic look. 

2 seconds after this was taken Justine pulled a Natalie from Love Actually.

Yeah, it brought a tear.

An Antidote

Nice USO wrap-up from Steve Tignor.  I particularly liked his take on Elf and Kim:

The woman sitting next to me, who was coming from somewhere else, said, “Did you see del Potro?”

“Yes, I saw him.”

“I liked to watch him when he won,” she said, and put her hands over her face to imitate his emotional reaction after the final point. She had hit it: That was why I wanted to see more tennis, to see that emotion and relief that only a player who has won his first major can conjure. It doesn’t happen all that often nowadays, which only made the last moments of yesterday’s final that much more exhilarating. Thanks for sharing it with us, DP.

...

While I’m surprised she beat both Williams sisters and went all the way so soon, I knew she would bounce back with no trouble. As with Jennifer Capriati in her comeback at the start of the decade, if you can hit big and through the court on the women’s tour, you always have a chance. Kim can do that, and she can move with a gymnast’s sure-footedness—she seemed to enjoy scaling the wall to get to her husband after the final as much as anything she did on court. More important, she put a smile back on the face of women’s tennis a day after Serena had scowled her way out of the tournament. The trophy ceremony was a love fest and a big welcome back for a favorite of everyone involved in the sport. Her daughter danced, Mary Jo gave her a hug, and the guy crying next to her husband was John Dolan, a WTA pr guy who has had more than his fill of pro egos, but who couldn’t help but become a friend of Kim’s. Would she have beaten Serena anyway? It’s not a lock, given Williams’ history of returns from the dead. But Clijsters deserved the win anyway. You should get something for not dropping an f-bomb at a line judge, shouldn’t you?

Nice.

Pic This: "One More Time."

Air Quotes: May I Suggest A Chocolate Peanut Cheesecake?

Q. You earned a lot of money today. How are you gonna use this? Are you gonna buy something to treat yourself?

JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO: No, maybe cheesecake for my birthday.

The whole presser is win.

Pic This: USO Final Wrap Up

And so another USO in the books.  And the last chapter of this one was nothing but rainbows.

 

Acid trip rainbows.

 

Swear to God.  I'm gonna steal that kid.

 

It must be love.

Wheeeee!

For now.

 

Good girl.

 

I am taller than you.

Jailbreak!

 

Jesus.  Way too fucking cute.

 

Car!

 

Kids playing at the club in Tandil where DelPo used to play.  It's no swimming pool, but it'll do.

"My Trophyface, m-my Trophyface..."

Believe

Indeed.

 

Hours later and I still can't believe it actually happened, which is totally unfair to Elfie.  Here's a guy who has had a steady and workmanlike ascent through the rankings to reach #5.  He has gone from being the unfit teen who was reduced to tears by Andy Murray a couple of years ago and embarrassed by Roger Federer only 9 months ago, to being a guy who has taken the last three matches from Rafa on hard courts, pushed Fed to five sets on clay, beating A-Rod twice in a week, pushing Muzz in a tough three setter in Montreal, and dusting his way through the USO draw.

And yet despite all of that I, as well as everyone else (except perhaps one *very* happy British woman) completely wrote him off for the final.  No way this giant lug could beat the Maestro/The Federer/Rog.  Fed was on a tear and it just didn't seem like Elf's time quite yet.

 

And for the second day in a row I am absolutely ecstatic when I say this: I was wrong.

 

DelPo would continue the form that took out Rafa in straights into the final.  Except this time, when things got tight and he got down, he didn't throw up his hands and say "too good".  He kept fighting, sticking to his game plan (BIG FOREHAND), and playing within himself.  And as he did, he somehow wore down TMF and made him look...well...not so much TM.

 

It was a weird match all around for Roger.  His lights out serving, which had previously shown no signs of wobbling, all of a sudden wobbled.  Dude couldn't buy a first serve through the first few sets.  That combined double digit double faults at key moments, as well as DelPo's lethal returning, ultimately led to Fed barely spinning serves in the fifth set.  And once that serve went away, Fed looked concerned.  That last set was an AO 09 redux.  The forehand was flying all over the place and Fed looked frustrated.

 

So there you go.  One of the most improbable upsets in a damn long time.

 

I'm not going to pretend that the entire tennis world is happy about this result.  But no matter how cold your heart is, you can't ignore the feel-goodiness of this result.  

 

And if you're still pissy about it, I give you the children of Tandil.  Come on.

 

Welcome to the big leagues, dude.  You've earned it.

Congratulate The Motherfucker, Motherfuckers!

He served, he hit, he ran, he won, he cried.  He was everything we needed him to be:

He was better than Roger.

More on the win later, but feel free to revel in the gloriousness of this moment together in the comments.

Crushed

62 62 62.

Wow.  That wasn't a match.  That was a performance.

 

I'm not convinced that healthy knees or abs would have changed much of this result.  This was a straight set dominating victory any way you slice it.  Elf served well, hit big, and ran Rafa absolutely ragged.  And Rafa had no solution.  Elf successfully pulled Rafa wide with his serve so many times and Rafa couldn't do anything about it.

 

Well done, Elfie.  Now do me a favor and actually back this shit up tomorrow.  Something tells me...you won't.

Oh Yeah. There Are Three Other Guys.

Remember Miami? 

 

Well the #1 and #2 boys are going to try to forget it, I'm sure. 

Rafa's dropped his last two matches against Elf, first in that infamous Miami match and then a few weeks ago in Montreal.  Fed has finally snapped his Nole streak, beating him recently in the Cincy final. 

Buckle up.

Pic This: It Must Be Love.

You knew today was going to be all about the love when Nico and Rafa took some time out of their busy work schedules to enjoy a little couples massage.  That's love, people.

Yes, Flavia.  Your balls are *that* big.

SuperJo.

I didn't know you could call an MTO for a hug.  I wish Bepa called one.

Why is Elf *always* whacking off during matches?  It's poor form, dude.

Pic This: Hangover Edition

A lovely lazy Saturday morning.  I actually wish I could say I was hungover.  Then I'd have an better excuse than normal to lie on the couch under a blanket and watch tennis all day.

Nice run by Dani into the Round of 16.  I hope she's happy.

Yes, you have long limbs.  We get it.

The magic Comp Kit runs out of gas.  But a fantastic run for MaKiri.

Flying Jo.

10% pasta, 90% win.

Bonus

Just a reminder.  Sam and Elena are the US Open series champs.  On the men's side, Muzz and DelPo finished second and third, respectively, and for the ladies Flavs and JJ finished second and third.  All six are now in the running for bonus money depending on how well they do in NYC.

Let's see if they can cash in.

Pic This: A Lot of Lank

 

Ground Down.

Gassed.  Completely and utterly gassed.

That's what back to back tournaments and a grueling 3 setter yesterday will do to you.  More specifically, that's what the new and improved Andy Murray will do to you.  All credit to both players for being able to play their games in rather spectacular fashion (especially Elf for two sets).  I don't know how he was able to dig deep to run down some of those balls and he served so well in tight moments. 

 But Andy did what he did.  He hung in there.  He scrapped and kept his frustration in check to hang in there, even though I was sure Elf was going to run away with it after he broke back in the second set.

 

The hard yards and grueling workouts in Miami were the difference today.  Once Andy took the second set tiebreak the match was over.  There was no way the big guy was going to be able to gut out a third set.  And sure enough, he didn't.  Andy took his second Masters title of the year, 67 76 61.

The win gives Andy a 565 point lead over Rafa going into Cincinnati, where things are just going to get even more interesting.

Cuties.

Now You Know How Nole Feels

  Pwned. 

46 62 75, and he had a match point.

There's no other non-word for it.  Elf is now 3-0 against A-Rod, beating him twice in seven days, in two really tight, could have gone either way, matches. 

Welcome to your first Masters final, Elfie. 

I was really impressed with his composure late in that third set.  He seemed so sure of himself, as though he never doubted he would win.

"What'd you say about my Mama?"

The final will be played at 1:30pm Montreal time.

Rusty Bull, Fallen Falcon

Congrats to Elf on his win over Rafa.  He had to fight hard for the first set, eventually winning 76(5) and then cruising in the second set to win 61.  I only saw parts of the first set and though Rafa still looked rusty, it didn't seem like the first set was a "bad" loss.  Not sure what happened in that last set though.

Novak, you ignorant slut.  GET ANGRY!  Play on the edge!  I don't care that it's A-Rod and you're all self-conscious about how you come across to him or to the crowd.  What do you care more about?  Unfortunately, I think I know what the answer is to that question, which is why I don't have much hope for Nole during this USO swing.  Muzz and Rod own him.  In fact, it seems like the one player who can get him up to play with and edge is Feds.  Sigh. 

Big Boys

Rafa made his triumphant return and actually played a full match, beating Petzscher 63 62.  He looked much better than yesterday, particularly his serve, but every time he lunged for a ball or I heard his shoes squeak to a stop, I cringed.  He take on next, who needed three sets and two calls to the trainer (bum right shoulder, apparently) to get past Hanescu. 

 
As for Nole and Muzz it was business as usual.  Nole looked rock solid today in his win, though no thanks to his Mom shorts.  And Andy made JCF look like an old man in his 1 and 3 win.

Oh and Kolya beat Gonzo 76(2) 75.  Not that you'd know this seeing as how there are no pictures of that match anywhere.

Elf: Defender Of The Crown

I've been in LA for the LA Tourney so needless to say I haven't really been following the haps in DC.  But Elf and A-Rod met in the final (after some solid wins in the semis over Gonzo and Halpert.

Perhaps the tough 3 setter against Isner hurt Andy, but Elf was able to come back to eek out a win and defend his DC title, 3-6, 7-5, 7-6(6).  Nice job, Elfie, tough luck, Andy. 

500

 
Congrats to Andy, who ousted Sam in two tight straight sets for his 500th career win.  And in "ohthankgod" news, Elf survived a strong challenge from the One-Hipped Wonder, winning in a tight third set tiebreaker.

Singles - Third Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d [16] S Querrey (USA) 76(4) 64
[2] J Del Potro (ARG) d L Hewitt (AUS) 64 36 76(2)
[4] F Gonzalez (CHI) d W Odesnik (USA) 62 64
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d M Gicquel (FRA) 75 57 63
[8] T Berdych (CZE) d P Petzschner (GER) 46 63 63
[10] T Haas (GER) d J Ferrero (ESP) 75 26 61
[11] I Karlovic (CRO) d [Q] S Devvarman (IND) 75 61
J Isner (USA) d [Q] S de Chaunac (FRA) 62 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals
[5] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d S Huss (AUS) / R Hutchins (GBR) 64 75

Tuesday OOPs

pleasedon'tlosepleasedon'tlosepleasedon'tlose
(Pic from GoToTennis)

Stadium (from 19.00hrs)
1. King vs. Ivanovic
2. Peng vs. Zvonareva

Court 4 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Oudin vs. Hantuchova
2. Cirstea vs. Larcher de Brito
3. Wozniak vs. Mattek-Sands
4. Craybas/Gullickson vs. Hantuchova/Sugiyama

Court 5 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Date Krumm vs. Lisicki
2. Scheepers vs. Kirilenko
3. Stosur vs. Niculescu

Court 7 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Savchuk vs. Zheng
2. U.Radwanska vs. Coin
3. Garbin/Schiavone vs. Shaughnessy/Spears

Court 8 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Czink vs. Makarova
2. Morita vs. Li
3. A.Bondarenko/Vesnina vs. Kleybanova/Makarova


Matches to Watch: Somdev vs. Cilic, Dancy vs. Haas, Rendy vs. Elf, and Ernie vs. Big Berd.
 

Pic This: BOYS!!!

Feli is really the GOAT of celebratory groping.  It's a gift.


Obligatory.


Bonus!


If anyone knows what Pico's feeling, it's Chucho.  Come back soon, Fatty.


Hulk!Elf.


The Sex.  Recognize.


"Bring me the finest McFlurry in all the land!!!"


I assure you sir, the answers are not up there.


Do you think the Czech team ever thinks "Yeah, that dude has gone too far"?


"Baby you can drive my car.  Yes I'm gonna be a star.  Baby you can drive my car, and maybe I love you." 


Ok, yeah.  I just threw up in my mouth a bit.


Yup.  That's about right.

Don't Worry Pico, You're Still Pretty.

It's 1-1 after Day 1.  Elf did his job and Berdy took his match against Pico in five sets.

Is anyone else wondering why Pico is rocking the Falcon?  I sure hope Elfie doesn't come out in any RF gear.

Flavor Of The Week

In what is I think the most interesting tie of the weekend, Team Elf will take on Team Sex in Czechoslovakia.

Apparently Team Sex is going to concede the first rubber with Elf and focus on beating Pico.


Should be an interesting one. 

As most DC ties do, this one will turn on the doubles match on Saturday. 

But on to more important Elf updates:


What.Is.THAT???


Dreaming of his one true love in England....


Ok seriously, someone get the guy a Rubik's cube or something.

Pic This: Leapin' Leprechauns

The higher they go, the harder they fall.  Sad for Elfie. 

But he was WAY cute in his presser.


They don't call him Gonzo for nothing.

I actually think I would enjoy watching the Williamses play doubles live.  Not on TV when there's other interesting and important tennis going on, but you know, at other times.

Just because I know boys read this blog.  You're welcome.  I guess.


Sigh.  If only he flipped it.  Next time.


"Uh...hello."


Hey, it's *that* guy!

Most of the time Momo's pics look weird, primarily because she comes under the ball (heh) so much on her forehand and then her one-handed backhand looks nuts if you don't catch it right. 

But then there are pics like this.  Love.


*Yeah* you're in.  My vagina.

Hey, Upper East Siders.  Looks like S dropped in and braved the hot sun in support of Lonely Boy.  All kidding aside though, I've always really liked Kim Sears.  And I *need* that purse.

Nooooo.  No vest.  Bad Muzz.  Bad.

The Sex is in the house, people.  Respect.

"Where Women Glow and Men Plunder."

Well how about that.


Lleyton pulls off the first big upset on the men's side, beating Elf in straight sets.  Disappointing for Elf but he's never made it past the second round here and Kangaroos love the grass.  So it was probably a more even matchup than it seemed on paper. 

But congrats to Lleyton and condolences to Elf and his #1 fan.


Meanwhile, Slammin' Sammy keeps on truckin'. 

She won her second round match and will play Ana next.

Just make it quick and painless, Sam.  Thanks.

Without Photo Evidence, I Refuse To Believe It

But in other dude news, A-Rod came out of the gate with a somewhat impressive performance over newly-shorn Jeremy Chardy, who all of sudden looks Robredoesque.  Rod made only 9 unforced errors.  On grass.  That's, and I hate to phrase it this way, Rafa-like.

Then again, he still needed four sets to seal the win.  Which seems to indicate that maybe he was playing a little too safely on his return games.  I'm not asking you to go all Blah on us, Andy, but you really do have to pick it up and play more aggressively on the green stuff.

Elfy also pwned on his first match on grass since last year's Wimbly and in a somewhat shocking development, Gilly and his one good knee won in straight sets.

According to the Wimbledon website, Ernie won.  I checked my calendar and its not April Fool's, Christmas, or my birthday.  So...nice try, Wimbledon.  I will not fall for your poorly edited scoreboard.  And also, that is a mean mean joke.

Flight Of The Bumblebee

He makes me feel kinda funny.  Kinda like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.

Congrats to Elfie, who beat Tommy Boredo (sorry, I just can't watch the dude play) on his way to his first Slam semifinal.  Quite an achievement for a dude who I still do a double take for whenever I see the #5 next to his name.

But dude.  Elf.  You're playing so well.  Do you really think it's necessary to already be bending over for Roger?

Q. What worries you with Federer? His game or what he represents?

JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO: Well, a bit of everything. With his game he does everything perfectly. His game is much of a problem to me, and this is why I never won when I played him.

Believe in yourself, goddammit!

Or don't.  Whatever.  You're pretty.

CTRL-D

Thanks to the best gay for sending this along.  Nice to see the hot boys of tennis getting the love and respect they deserve.

But no Goth Bols or Janko?  Blasphemy!

Pic This: Fucking Clay

Uh...

He looks retarded.  I laughed.  Not proud of it.

Just do it, Wilson.

Jo just really likes biting balls.

I'm sure Agi doesn't mean it, but she just has the best unintentional Bitch Face on tour.

Coming soon to a billboard over Beijing.  Or, you know, not.

I just want to tackle and lick him.  Or lick his...wait, what were we talking about?

Not exactly Crazy-Eyez Fed.  But we're getting there.

"Oh my goooooodness."

The Term "Elf" Can Be Deceiving, Jo-Willy

How did Elf being a more than competent clay courter sneak up on me like this?  Or was I just not paying attention?  Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's 7 feet tall and, no matter what the surface, can just send shots down like bombs.  Including serves.  Maybe especially serves.  During the bit of the match that was actually on TV, the broadcasters whipped out the "game clock" and timed JMDP winning a service game in under a minute.  Uh, what?  (And no, before you ask, it was not four aces.  But it was at least two.)

Also, has this picture been floating around under the radar, or is it another thing I missed?  Because it's pretty much the most adorable thing ever.

Besides JMDP generally controlling things at will, Jo-Willy just looked a little flat.  Not counting the second set, he hit more than twice as many UEs as JMDP.  I guess it's probably jarring to go from playing Christoph Rochus, who might be an actual elf, to playing some guy everyone calls "Elf", but is actually a skyscraper.  Too bad for the home crowd, but it's nice to see "the best of the rest" living up to his potential.

Now What?

"Nole's" quarter is a total crapshoot now.  I mean...

 

 

... this is who we've got left.

It's no collection of schlubs, but it's not exactly a collection of clay court stahs, either.  It's not a complete crapshoot... it seems like the smart pick for the semis would be whoever comes out of the JMDP/Jo-Willy 4th round match.  Both of them have been playing well, JMDP handling the pressure of being "the best of the rest" very well for his first Slam at #5, especially considering it's not his strongest surface.  Same for Jo-Willy, except substitute "playing in front of a volatile, demanding home crowd" for "best of the rest".  Picking this one feels impossible, hopefully that match will live up to its potential.

I don't know what to think about Disco Tommy and PEHK.  Disco Tommy dropped his first set today against Maximo Gonzalez and then ended up beating him 6-4 6-1 6-0.  He's been winning fairly easily, but his draw has been pretty empty.  PEHK, of course, had his decisive win against Novak today, and it was impressive, but it's impossible to discount how tired and uninspired Novak was.  Who knows?  According to Wikipedia (so you know the information is absolutely unassailable), Tommy's made the QFs at RG every other year since 2003.  Continue the pattern or break it?  Who knows?

Yeah.  This is pretty much pointless except to say that this quarter is now hella confusing.  And exciting.

Pic This: And By Rabbit I Mean Rochus.

Yucky day.  Wet and windy conditions for all.  Not that it really had any impact on play.  Overall, kind of a boring day on the courts.


Hold up.  He ain't done yet, folks.  Let's see if he can pull a rabbit out of his hat tomorrow.


Snot Rocket and furry friends scampered away with a win.  Thank God.  I was getting worried.


I am digging the yellow that Nike's rocking for the boys.  So fresh and so clean.


Fed is balletic, Rafa is powerful, but for my money, Nole has the best action shots in the biz.  And if I haven't said it yet, mucho kudos to Adidas on their choice of blue for the clay court season.  It looks fantastic against the red clay.


Oh, Gypsy.  I want so badly to hate you, especially when you bounce Dani "Just Give Her A Damn Chocolate Tart" Hantuchova. But then you smile that dorky but sweet smile and not even my hater heart can...well...hate.


I'm gonna go out on a limb and say those are some British fans. 

I don't know what gave it away...


Dear Cone.  Please win tomorrow.  I miss your "Sacrebleu!" game faces.


I could stare at those long gangly Elf arms all. day. long.


One word.  700,000 syllables. 

Comfortability.


I'm not sure beating Blah on clay is worth "shitting the pants" but ok.


Jo Belly!


Phillipe Chatrier is officially christened.

Bring on Round 2!

1-1

That's Serena's new record against Klara Zakopalova for the '09 clay court season.  So... there's that.  I can't really say anything about anyone's level of play since I didn't watch very much of it, but I can say that Serena's knee wrap looked oddly high tech.  Although I could be making that up in my head.

I don't think she's even wearing jewelry from her own line. What kind of marketing strategy is that, Serena?  

There were other matches this morning, of course, mostly wrapped around a two hour rain delay...

Jelena's new not-entirely-horrible, but not-entirely-awesome Anta dress made its debut today. That's also a pretty good summary of how she played against Petra Cetkovska-- it's kind of like her game is currently on a factory reset: the big problem is gone, but none of the old programming has been reinstalled yet. Competent, and certainly enough to get her through the first two or three rounds, but not entirely solid yet. Meanwhile, look who's wearing pink!

Man. If, in some alternate universe, it ended up being a Dinara/Sveta final, Sveta would immediately have the upper hand because Dinara would be so. Jealous. Sveta played a really solid match against Claire Feuerstein, a French journeywoman who turned out to be much better than anyone thought she'd be-- possibly including Feuerstein herself.

'Round the ATP side, Nicolas Lapentti did his part to get Philippe Chartrier back on schedule by retiring down 4-6, 1-3 to Nole.  

  

Lapentti rolled his ankle-- which was already heavily taped-- towards the end of the first set, and obviously never got comfortable again. Nole looked calm and collected, had some silly misses, but mostly looked in perfectly good shape for the beginning of the tournament. 

Other results thus far: Monfils, Kohlscreiber, JMDP, Gicquel, Seppi and Disco Tommy all through easily in straight sets. Juan Monaco just knocked out Marcos-- Marcos, we hardly knew ye.  Caro, unsurprisingly, took the third set against Vera D fairly easily (6-1). The Gypsy prolonged Dani's misery by beating her in straight sets, Ruano Pascal did the same to Nikki V. Aleks Wozniak went through in 3, U-Rad went out in 3. Lena D through in straights, but went down a couple of breaks in the first. Sania's out and Dokic is through (only her second win since the AO?!). Quality guy Ivan Ljubicic is in a deciding set with Ferrero and Jo Willy and Apricot Bars are locked down in battle on Chartrier, but ESPN2 has decided I'd rather watch Blah. They are incorrect. Thank god for livestreaming. One note: conditions today have been terrible-- hours of rain delays this morning, terrible wind ever since. It looks like hell out there.

Pic This: My Eyes. They Burn.

Can we all just take a moment and soak in what's going on with XXXL there?  I mean...wow.

Pic This: Poetry In Motion. And Muzz.

Gorgeous pictures coming out of Madrid today.  Looks like the "real" photogs have finally landed.

Damn you Marat for losing early.

Um. Elf In A Racing Jumper? Yes, Please.

So much unintentional hilarity here. But my favorite part has to be Elf's "Toyota!!!" jump at the "awards ceremony".

Rafa, Roger, Roll, Tall Dudes Do Not

Nothing much to write about with the big boys today.  Rafa rolled over Chela, 62 63 and
Roger beat Seppi 64 64.


But a tough day for the tall and lanky.  Lubey took out the Elf in three, 46 61 64, Cilic only got two games off Fognini before getting bageled, 62 60, and Dr. Ivo lost to Kolya 64 63. 

But in happy news, Kolya's back!


And could Tignor be on to something?  He picked Daveed to make the finals.  That seemed like a crazy notion at first but the dude has been destroying the competition these past two days.  Today he dropped only 1 game in his win over Gicquel, and yesterday he beat FeLo 2 and 3.


And then of course we have the Marat,  Who blew a 5-2 lead in the third to lose 76(6) in the tiebreaker to Nicholas Lapentti.  Racquets were broken, point penalties were given, balls went flying, and a woman had an epilleptic seizure.  It was a typical Safin match.

Here are the scores out of Monte Carlo:

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d J Chela (ARG) 62 63
[2] [WC] R Federer (SUI) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [5] J Del Potro (ARG) 46 61 64
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 63 64
[8] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Karlovic (CRO) 64 63
[10] D Ferrer (ESP) d M Gicquel (FRA) 61 60
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) d M Granollers (ESP) 46 63 61
[13] S Wawrinka (SUI) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 26 75 62
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d [14] M Cilic (CRO) 62 60
A Montanes (ESP) d [WC] J Lisnard (MON) 62 64
S Bolelli (ITA) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) 75 63
[Q] N Lapentti (ECU) d M Safin (RUS) 76(6) 26 76(6) - saved 3 M.P.

Doubles - Second Round
[2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d [WC] M Gicquel (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) 63 67(5) 10-4
[3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d A Montanes (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) 26 76(5) 10-8
[6] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d N Davydenko (RUS) / O Marach (AUT) 63 64
[7] J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR) d S Aspelin (SWE) / W Moodie (RSA) 76(3) 62
N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) d [8] J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) 64 64

Tick Tock Tick Tock

These two can say they get along all they want, I'm not sure I'll ever believe them.  Congrats to Muzz who recovered from a lapse in the second set, to take the match in three, 61 57 62.

The match was not without unnecessary drama.  First, Muzz was getting annoyed with the amount of time Elf was taking between points.  To be honest, I didn't think it was *that* big a deal.  It wasn't as bad as Rafa for example.  But boy was Muzz getting annoyed.  At one point he started to count the time out loud. 

Then at one point, Elf hit a served that was called out.  Muzz called over to Andy to see if it was in or out and Andy said it was close.  So Elf challenged it and the ball was so clearly in.  Elf sarcastically gave Andy the thumbs up.  Uh, ok.  When another player tells you the ball "was close", isn't that the equivalent of saying "you should challenge"?  I don't know why Elf got all pissy about it, but so it goes.

Finally, in the third set at deuce, Elf lunged for a ball and either pulled his groin or smacked himself in the crotch with his arm.  I honestly couldn't tell.  But he called for a MTO mid-game when Andy had break points.  The funny thing is that I would totally understand if Andy were pissed at this but he seemed to handle it pretty well.  It probably helped that he was up 4-2 at the time.

All I'm saying is that things got a little tense.  MamaGate lives on, y'all.