Forty Deuce

Walking Wounded

Two more retirements in Shanghai.  Seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

 

Is it me, or does the trainer working on Stan look kind of like Marin Cilic?  I was super confused for a second.  I guess I'm never really surprised when Monfils retires; he plays a game that seems to me unnecessarily physical.  It's just begging for an injury of some kind.  In any case, there really have been an awful lot of injury retirements in Shanghai.  A little worrying, when you consider that there's still a long way to go in the ATP season.

In other news, the Sod beat Jo-Willy in what looks like a surprisingly unchallenging match.  Then again, it doesn't seem all that surprising.   Oh, and Feli won again.  Wha?

Singles - Third Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d [14] T Robredo (ESP) 61 64 
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] R Schuettler (GER) 64 62
[9] R Soderling (SWE) d [5] J Tsonga (FRA) 63 63
[8] G Simon (FRA) d T Berdych (CZE) 63 64
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d [10] F Gonzalez (CHI) 63 75
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [11] G Monfils (FRA) 62 30 ret. (back)
[13] R Stepanek (CZE) d S Wawrinka (SUI) 36 76(5) 42 ret. (abdominal strain)
F Lopez (ESP) d J Melzer (AUT) 57 76(3) 61

Pic This: They Didn't Have This on that Shinkansen I Took in Tokyo

I truly believe that the ATP and WTA's combined mission to force their players to play "tennis" on every ridiculous surface imagineable (helipads, fountains, water, on top of cars...) knows no bounds.  Today's victims?  Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Fernando Verdasco, and a Maglev train.

 

 

LOLZ, Nando, what the hell is that pose about?

 

Jo-Willy looks like he's afraid he's about to get shat on by a bird.

 

Contemplating how he will never get roped into doing anything like this again.  At least, not until January.

(Yes, yes, of course there's video...)

Sunday Wrap-Up: Lazy Guest Blogging (ATP Edition) (UPDATE)

Unfortunately, much like C Note, I haven't had any access to TV today; ergo, I didn't see a single second of any of the finals.  They're all waiting impatiently on my DVR, though.

Beijing: Djokovic d. Cilic 6-2, 7-6(4)

 

Nice tournament win for Novak, even nicer that it'll send him back to the top 3.  That is one ridonkulous punch bowl they gave him for the room party, though.  And kudos also to Marin; even if he lost the final, rolling over Rafa like that in the semis was no small feat.

Tokyo: Tsonga s. Youzhny 6-3, 6-3

1. Jo's hair is nutty.  In a good way, but still.  Maybe it has something to do with the Van de Graaff generator they gave him as a trophy.

2. How surprised was I to see Misha in a final??  His first of the year, as ATPTennis.com tells me.  ATPTennis.com also tells me he's played 31 tournaments this year.  Wha?

Mons (Challenger): Tipsarevic d. Stakhovsky 7-6, 6-3

I don't have much to say about this except that I'm pretty sure Milo Rambaldi had something to do with Janko's trophy.  UPDATE: When this picture came along, I realized that they gave Sergei a crystal armadillo for his trophy or something.  I don't know what they're smoking in Mons, but I want some.

Salutatorian

Nice, Misha! 

He's taken out Gilles, Tomas, and now Lleyton to make his second ATP final of the year (he lost in Munich to Tomas).  I never get sick of seeing the salute and I've always had a thing for the guy.  I think it's the teeth.

He'll face Jo, who took out Gael in less than an hour.

So basically, for the guys, I'm pretty happy no matter who wins in Beijing or Tokyo. Yay!

Typhoon Tsonga

There was a typhoon in Tokyo yesterday.  According to my sister, it came and went without much incident, though they did do a city-wide announcement on a loudspeaker.  A loudspeaker.  I made a pretty great Godzilla joke.  She wasn't amused.

But play continued despite the weather thanks to the indoor court.  It was a topsy-turvy day for France as Jo beat Reeshie and Vasselin beat DoucheStamp, but Gilles fell to Misha and Fabrice blew a one set lead to lose to Lawnmower. 

And in Yay/Boo news, Ernie advanced to the third round after Pico retired in the second set down 4-1.

Singles - Second Round
[2] J Tsonga (FRA) d R Gasquet (FRA) 46 62 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [3] G Simon (FRA) 76(5) 67(5) 64
[5] T Berdych (CZE) d A Beck (GER) 64 61
[8] L Hewitt (AUS) d F Santoro (FRA) 36 63 61
[Q] E Roger-Vasselin (FRA) d J Melzer (AUT) 46 62 63 
[Q] E Gulbis (LAT) d J Monaco (ARG) 63 41 ret. (right hip)

Doubles - Quarter-finals
[WC] S Iwabuchi (JPN) / T Suzuki (JPN) d J Tsonga (FRA) / S Wawrinka (SUI) 63 46 10-8 
J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 36 64 11-9

Doubles - First Round
C Kas (GER) / J Levinsky (CZE) d *[Alt] M Chiudinelli (SUI) / D Meffert (GER) 63 62

Viktor?!?!

Awesome win for the forgotten Serb, coming back from a set down to take out Jo.  He dropped the first set 16 before coming back to demolish Jo 62 63.

No defending the title for you, Jo. 

It's a "Go Tennis!" final for me, as Viktor will take on Gilles. 

Gilles karate chopped DoucheStamp in two tight sets. 

Have fun, boys.  I know I will.

It's Ok, Jo. You'll Always Be Pretty.

It's even better if you watch it on mute. He's too adorable for his own good.

Pic This: It Must Be Love.

You knew today was going to be all about the love when Nico and Rafa took some time out of their busy work schedules to enjoy a little couples massage.  That's love, people.

Yes, Flavia.  Your balls are *that* big.

SuperJo.

I didn't know you could call an MTO for a hug.  I wish Bepa called one.

Why is Elf *always* whacking off during matches?  It's poor form, dude.

This Little Frenchie Went To Market, This Little Frenchie Went Home

 

Jo and Gael move on to the Round of 16 with ease.  Jo with a straight set win over the Techno King, and Gael after Chucho retired in the third set.  Both highl entertaining guys who were made for NYC, but I have to put my money on Jo from here on out.  It's been fun, Gael, but for obvious reasons you need to go away now.

 

But all was not well for the Blue, White, and Red.  Gilly was forced to retire after dropping the third set because of a knee injury.  Now that France has caught on, it's official: Knee problems are the new black.  

Poor Gilles.  He was playing so well, too.

Pic This: Hangover Edition

A lovely lazy Saturday morning.  I actually wish I could say I was hungover.  Then I'd have an better excuse than normal to lie on the couch under a blanket and watch tennis all day.

Nice run by Dani into the Round of 16.  I hope she's happy.

Yes, you have long limbs.  We get it.

The magic Comp Kit runs out of gas.  But a fantastic run for MaKiri.

Flying Jo.

10% pasta, 90% win.

Pic This: Do You Believe In Magic?

Melanie Oudin's shoes ushered in a crazy day four at the USO. 

What is up with the obsession with Hubba Bubba?

 

Hubba Hubba.

 

Not so much.

 

The forgotten but adorable Swisser.  You go on with your winky self, Chuds.

 

Mmmm...drumstick.

I have stared at this picture for 5 minutes now.  I literally have nothing interesting or funny to say.  So goes my relationship with Tommy Boredo.

 

Seriously.  Sandwiches are your friend, Andy.

 

Blue Steel.

Hit Me Up

The players have been hitting the practice court at the BJK center. 

Which of course means practice pics.  

Preferably shirtless ones.  Let's be real.

I wanna lick it.  

I am A-OK with Lanky McLankerson keeping his XXL Fila shirt on though.

No one needs to see a concave chest.

Did LaMonf get a new tattoo?  Or have I just missed that one?

Dude, I am begging you.  Sandwich.  Stat.

Wonder how many racquets were broken in this practice session.

And where there are shirtless boys, you know there will be a JJ nearby.

No official word on how long that shirt stayed on.

And Now Introducing The New World #2...

Congrats to The Boy Everyone Loves To Hate!  No, not Nole, Andy!!!

He had to weather the Jo-Dub storm but eventually came away a 64 76(8) winner.  Jo, seriously?  You thought dropshotting Muzz was a good idea?  Aw...you're pretty, but you're dumb.

Andy's ability to go further than Rafa in Montreal means that he'll become the new World #2 on Monday.  This will be the first time since 2005 that Roger and Rafa won't sit atop the standings.  FOUR YEARS!  So crazy.  If he keeps on keepin' on in Cincy he could be #2 going into the Open, and Rafa could potentially bet placed in Roger's side of the draw.  Insanity?  Oh, and apparently if Andy wins Cincy and USO he could be #1.  52 weeks, people.  An oh so crazy, 52 weeks.

Of course there will be the haters who say blahblahblah, Rafa's been injured and didn't play Wimbly, blahblahblah fishcakes.  But I'm pretty sure those people will also remember Fed fans saying the damn same exact thing last year when Rafa took over #1 right around this time.  It was bullshit then, and it's bullshit now.

At the end of the day, Muzz didn't pull a Harding on Rafa.  So he can't control what happened around him.  But can there really be any doubt that he busted his ass for this and unlike some people *cough*Nole*cough* won the matches he needed to win in order to get the ranking?

So how about a little respect.  Kudos to Andy.  Onward and upward!  But watch your back.  I hear the rumbling footsteps of a charging bull not far behind.

Also, I'd like to just preemptively give a mighty hearty chuckle at the fan frazzling that's already going on because "ZOMG!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!! THE ATP HAS A SLAMLESS #2!!!!"  Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Quick! Someone Tell The Milkman!!!

Cuz, Daddy's coming home early. 

I only watched the tiebreak, so no, I do not know how Fed blew a 5-1 lead in the third set.  Hell, even if I did watch the match I still probably wouldn't be able to explain it.  But it happened, and to be frank, I'm a bit sad.  I was *really* looking forward to a Fed/Muzz showdown tomorrow.  See?  Even when I root for you, you still fuck me, Fed.  Feh.

But many huge ups to Jo.  He really held his nerve in the tiebreak after blowing a few match points on Fed's serve in the 12th game.  I really didn't think he'd be able to cojoney up and play aggressive but controlled tennis in the breaker.  But he did.  He'll meet Muzzard tomorrow.

No Matter Who Wins, We All Lose

It's just unfair that these two ever have to play each other. 

 

And it ended pretty much the way you'd think it would.  Jo took it easily in straight sets, 63 63.  Love the new haircut though, Gilly.

Pic This: Can I Hire Him To Scare My Kids?

And *that's* why you always leave a note.

Even with one arm, Jo beat Rainer in three, 46 63 64.

Welcome Back, Andy. See Ya, Jo.

Andy made his triumphant return, beating Benjamin Becker 3 and 2.

Unfortunately it wasn't a great day for Jo, who's sporting an awesome new 'do and has followed the current fad of wearing Karate Kid headbands.  But he fell to Halpert in a closely contested three setter, 46 76(2) 76(4).  Tough luck for Jo, but if you get stuck in tiebreaks with Isner, you've got a tough road.

In other upset news, JCF took out Disco, Sockless lost to Petzschner, and the 12-15th seeds are out.  Quite a bit of carnage in only the second round.  What is this, the WTA?

Singles - Second Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d B Becker (GER) 63 62
J Isner (USA) d [3] J Tsonga (FRA) 46 76(2) 76(4)
[4] F Gonzalez (CHI) d [Q] A Falla (COL) 75 75
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d M Youzhny (RUS) 63 61
J Ferrero (ESP) d [7] T Robredo (ESP) 63 62
P Petzschner (GER) d [9] M Fish (USA) 16 64 61
[11] I Karlovic (CRO) d R Schuettler (GER) 64 75
M Gicquel (FRA) d [12] V Troicki (SRB) 30 ret. (right foot)
W Odesnik (USA) d [13] I Andreev (RUS) 26 75 64
[Q] S de Chaunac (FRA) d [14] D Tursunov (RUS) 36 76(3) 75
L Hewitt (AUS) d [15] D Sela (ISR) 63 26 62
[16] S Querrey (USA) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 63 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals
M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) d [3] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) 36 61 16-14 - saved 2 M.P.

Doubles - First Round
[5] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d T Berdych (CZE) / L Dlouhy (CZE) 75 63
T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) d S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 64 67(1) 10-4

Doctor, Doctor, Can't You See I'm Burnin' Burnin'

He's such the gentle giant and he seems like an adorable stuttering guy.  But I kinda can't get onboard a guy who can't really hit a groundstroke to save his life.  Like, how are you in the fourth round of Wimbledon?  That's not right.

And then there are the gang signs and booty slapping celebratory dance.  I may need to get off this train.

Also, he made this happen:

Not cool.  Not cool at all.

La C Note's Passion For Le Tsonga

WE GET IT.   HE LOOKS LIKE MUHAMMAD ALI.  STOP.

Those nips are just staring at me.  They're the size of plates. 

And I would *so* eat off them. 

Nom Nom Nom.

Halle At Your Boys

I'm so excited (scared!) to see how these two do on grass.  Obviously we know Nole's got the game to do it but Jo's a totally unknown quantity.  He's only played Wimbly once but he made the quarterfinals.  So I take comfort in that.  And his game is just so fantastically suited for grass.  I'd actually love to see him play Fed on grass.  That could be fun.

Both guys started their grass campaigns off right in Halle, making it through their first rounds with ease.

The same cannot be said for Fer, who lost to Philip Petzschner(!) in three sets, 36 76(5) 64.  On the TTC Wimbly preview Nando said he loved grass and loved playing on it.  I found that really really odd seeing as how his take back on his forehand takes some time to develop and he *still* refuses to bomb his serve.  I'm going to chalk this loss up to Philip riding the hometown wave of support.

Singles - First Round
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d S Bolelli (ITA) 75 62
P Petzschner (GER) d [3] F Verdasco (ESP) 36 76(5) 64
[4] J Tsonga (FRA) d F Santoro (FRA) 75 62
[7] J Melzer (AUT) d A Clement (FRA) 16 63 62
[WC] M Zverev (GER) d [Q] J Sirianni (AUS) 62 64
[Q] O Rochus (BEL) d [Q] F Vicente (ESP) 60 60
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d B Phau (GER) 64 62
N Kiefer (GER) d V Troicki (SRB) 62 61
A Beck (GER) d C Rochus (BEL) 63 61

Pic This: Fucking Clay

Uh...

He looks retarded.  I laughed.  Not proud of it.

Just do it, Wilson.

Jo just really likes biting balls.

I'm sure Agi doesn't mean it, but she just has the best unintentional Bitch Face on tour.

Coming soon to a billboard over Beijing.  Or, you know, not.

I just want to tackle and lick him.  Or lick his...wait, what were we talking about?

Not exactly Crazy-Eyez Fed.  But we're getting there.

"Oh my goooooodness."

The Term "Elf" Can Be Deceiving, Jo-Willy

How did Elf being a more than competent clay courter sneak up on me like this?  Or was I just not paying attention?  Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's 7 feet tall and, no matter what the surface, can just send shots down like bombs.  Including serves.  Maybe especially serves.  During the bit of the match that was actually on TV, the broadcasters whipped out the "game clock" and timed JMDP winning a service game in under a minute.  Uh, what?  (And no, before you ask, it was not four aces.  But it was at least two.)

Also, has this picture been floating around under the radar, or is it another thing I missed?  Because it's pretty much the most adorable thing ever.

Besides JMDP generally controlling things at will, Jo-Willy just looked a little flat.  Not counting the second set, he hit more than twice as many UEs as JMDP.  I guess it's probably jarring to go from playing Christoph Rochus, who might be an actual elf, to playing some guy everyone calls "Elf", but is actually a skyscraper.  Too bad for the home crowd, but it's nice to see "the best of the rest" living up to his potential.

Pic This: Ultimate Miscellany (ATP Edition)

Not that creepy out of context, maybe, but imagine Maximo Gonzalez sitting just like this, unblinking, for an entire changeover.  Because that's what he did.

Britain's Got Talent.

Love.  The Bullring just looks like the coolest place to camp out for a day.

Is there any better combination in tennis than good sports photographers and Gael Monfils?  92%.

Where there is a 92%, there must be an 8%.  In this case... Igor's hair, lending itself to general dorkitude.

Tennis as Art: The Scream

Heh.  Mutt and Jeff.

Sadness.  Still cute, though.

Freaky.

Now What?

"Nole's" quarter is a total crapshoot now.  I mean...

 

 

... this is who we've got left.

It's no collection of schlubs, but it's not exactly a collection of clay court stahs, either.  It's not a complete crapshoot... it seems like the smart pick for the semis would be whoever comes out of the JMDP/Jo-Willy 4th round match.  Both of them have been playing well, JMDP handling the pressure of being "the best of the rest" very well for his first Slam at #5, especially considering it's not his strongest surface.  Same for Jo-Willy, except substitute "playing in front of a volatile, demanding home crowd" for "best of the rest".  Picking this one feels impossible, hopefully that match will live up to its potential.

I don't know what to think about Disco Tommy and PEHK.  Disco Tommy dropped his first set today against Maximo Gonzalez and then ended up beating him 6-4 6-1 6-0.  He's been winning fairly easily, but his draw has been pretty empty.  PEHK, of course, had his decisive win against Novak today, and it was impressive, but it's impossible to discount how tired and uninspired Novak was.  Who knows?  According to Wikipedia (so you know the information is absolutely unassailable), Tommy's made the QFs at RG every other year since 2003.  Continue the pattern or break it?  Who knows?

Yeah.  This is pretty much pointless except to say that this quarter is now hella confusing.  And exciting.

Pic This: Cloudy With a Chance of HoYay

Nom nom nom.

I understand, Jo.  It's overwhelming me a bit, too.

Sad face x 1000.  Poor Jelena.

Smiling, watching the match, relaxed even though her man's in trouble, not on the Blackberry... I dunno, pregnancy agrees with Mirka.  Not to mention, her hair looks fantastic.

Coolness.

I dunno, the size differential cracked me up.  Come on, Serena's not that tall.  What are VRP's stats, is she 4'11" and 70 pounds?

How great umpires are born.

Yahoo tells me this was at RG today and I'm going to choose to believe them, because puppehs are awesome.

And, finally, by popular request...

LOLZ.  That is all.

Pic This: Seriously, What's He Going To Do If He Wins?

I am officially on the Dina and Jo for RG 08 09 train. 


Because the amount of ecstasy on clay is going be epic.  They're going to need a mop.


Save some for later, dude. 

Callin' Out.

All credit to ESPN for calling itself out.  From their 5 things we learned today feature:

1. Dinara Safina is playing like the favorite: Through two rounds she has lost a total of exactly … uh, two games -- in less than two hours. The No. 1-ranked Russian rolled qualifier Vitalia Diatchenko 6-1, 6-1. Since she ascended to the top spot, Safina has won 16 of her 17 matches on clay. She got to the final here a year ago and made the Australian Open final earlier this year. This, clearly, represents her best chance to join brother Marat as a Grand Slam champion.

Safina's coach, Zeljko Krajan -- naturally -- was again disappointed in her play.

"If one day he's going to be happy, I think I'll finish my career," she said. "He's never happy. Even today, he's not happy."

2. And Ana Ivanovic is starting to play like the defending champion: There have been some dicey moments this year -- like losing in the third round of the Australian Open and her second matches in Miami and Rome -- but her form seems to be returning.

Ivanovic torched Tamarine Tanasugarn 6-1, 6-2 and she said she thinks she can repeat at Roland Garros.

"I do," she said, "and I worked very hard for it and know I have a game."

3. ESPN.com's "experts" asleep at the wheel: The four women tabbed by six ESPN.com writers as sleepers -- Amelie Mauresmo (2), Patty Schnyder (2), Sabine Lisicki and Kaia Kanepi -- all lost in the first round. Sleepers, did we say sleepers? We meant to place them in the early-exit category.

"If Gulbis loses, I'm completely inept with my pre-tournament picks," said tennis writer Bonnie Ford, eyeing the scoreboard with disgust early in the day.

Ten minutes later, Ernests Gulbis -- Ford's male sleeper -- fell to Nicolas Almagro in four sets. What's the French word for inept?

"Incapable," said Ford, who speaks fluent French, explaining that the word is the same in both English and French.

4. Andy Roddick is the last American man standing: As a corollary to No. 3 -- and a public service, no doubt -- we are compelled to further mention that no fewer than four ESPN.com experts (who shall remain nameless) chose Roddick as their candidate for an early exit. With the loss by California native Robert Kendrick to Gilles Simon in the second round, 5-7, 0-6, 1-6, Roddick is the LAMS.

Did we mention that Simon and fellow Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who now appear to be in terrific form, were the other two early-exit choices?

Tapping Momo as a sleeper and Gilly and Jo as early exits weren't bad calls.  But Sabine?  Everyone knew she was pretty injured coming into RG.  Kaia Kanepi?  Uh...yeah...I don't know what that was about. 

But really, say it with me...ERNIE???

I guess I don't really understand how Bonnie Ford can be SO SHOCKED that Ernie lost.  My only guess is that while the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night to watch Ernie lose ever so beautifully (though let's face it, he hasn't been losing beautifully lately) Bonnie's doing the smart and rational thing and sleeping. 

Pfft.  Weak humans.

Pic This: And By Rabbit I Mean Rochus.

Yucky day.  Wet and windy conditions for all.  Not that it really had any impact on play.  Overall, kind of a boring day on the courts.


Hold up.  He ain't done yet, folks.  Let's see if he can pull a rabbit out of his hat tomorrow.


Snot Rocket and furry friends scampered away with a win.  Thank God.  I was getting worried.


I am digging the yellow that Nike's rocking for the boys.  So fresh and so clean.


Fed is balletic, Rafa is powerful, but for my money, Nole has the best action shots in the biz.  And if I haven't said it yet, mucho kudos to Adidas on their choice of blue for the clay court season.  It looks fantastic against the red clay.


Oh, Gypsy.  I want so badly to hate you, especially when you bounce Dani "Just Give Her A Damn Chocolate Tart" Hantuchova. But then you smile that dorky but sweet smile and not even my hater heart can...well...hate.


I'm gonna go out on a limb and say those are some British fans. 

I don't know what gave it away...


Dear Cone.  Please win tomorrow.  I miss your "Sacrebleu!" game faces.


I could stare at those long gangly Elf arms all. day. long.


One word.  700,000 syllables. 

Comfortability.


I'm not sure beating Blah on clay is worth "shitting the pants" but ok.


Jo Belly!


Phillipe Chatrier is officially christened.

Bring on Round 2!

Air Quotes: ZOMG.

Um...Jo wore a tie to his presser.  Over an Adidas shirt.  He is awesome.

Q. You put the tie on just for us?

JO‑WILFRIED TSONGA: And for you and also for me. I'm happy I played my first match. This is my first victory here. I celebrate this victory like this.

Q. So the idea of the tie, where does it come from?

JO‑WILFRIED TSONGA: In other sports when you come to a press conference, you have to respect, to comply with a dress code, so I thought that in tennis, too, we could show we have certain ethics. I believe it's important. We have beautiful tournaments, and we should show a bit of respect.

Q. Are you going to wear a tuxedo in the quarterfinal or in the final?

JO‑WILFRIED TSONGA: Yes, I wanted to come with a tuxedo in the beginning, but my equipment provider didn't really want to. Now I found a solution.

Q. Are you going to wear a butterfly tie?

JO‑WILFRIED TSONGA: If I win, I'll wear whatever you want, but not a string.

Well shit, if you're not going to wear a g-string why the hell am I rooting for you?

Lose, Frenchie.  Lose.

Pic This: Claymates

Pics from around Roland Garros. 

Given the gross grip on that Prince racquet, I think we all know who that is.


What's up with the blue and yellow, Adidas?  Are those going to be the summer colors? 
Also?  Shorts and Ana just do not get along. 


Who the hell is Flashman?



Game faces.


All of a sudden I'm craving beef jerky.  Mmmm....


And chicken wings.  Shit, I really need to get out of bed and eat lunch.


Please tell me she's wearing go go boots too.


Is it just me or is A-Rod wearing a shirt that almost kinda fits him?


Hey Muzz!  Get to the semis and then lose to Rafa 60 60 60 in 48 minutes, k? 
That's the gameplan.  Break!


Dude!  Stop it!


Roger's planning a Surfin' Safari, apparently.
 

Does that tape on her shoulder *really* do anything? 
All it seems to do is scream "HEY LOOK!!! I HAVE A BAD SHOULDER!!!"


Ah.  The backwards cap of dorkitude makes a triumphant appearance.


Gilles x 2.  I know this is super random, but I have always found G Mulls to be kinda cute.


The BunBand is back, folks.  Dina means business. 
And she's practicing more "Ecstasy on Clay" moves.


You're hot.  We know.  Stop it.  Or don't.  I don't know.


Only Jo's smile could distract me from the dead raccoon on his head.


Run, cameraman.  Run.  It's like fuckin' Cloverfield.

Come On, Jo. I Miss You.

Jo lost in straight sets to the oddly resurgent Lubey, 64 75.  He'll go into RG with very little match play, unfortunately.  Though actually, that could be a good thing for the always niggled Jo.  A run to the fourth round would be a huge success for him.  He doesn't have the game for clay, but with the Paris crowd and a healthy body, who knows?

Fer dispatched of JCF fairly easily, 63 62.  He is very excited for the victory, no?

And Disco did his part in restoring order to the completely clusterfucked tennis world by beating The Sockless Wonder in three. 

Muzz is locked in a battle with Bols and Fed just shoved a breadstick up Sod's ass in 20 minutes. Here are the rest of the scores so far:

Singles - Second Round
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) d [WC] J Ferrero (ESP) 63 62
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [9] J Tsonga (FRA) 64 75
[16] T Robredo (ESP) d M Fish (USA) 36 76(5) 62

Singles - First Round
[10] N Davydenko (RUS) d V Troicki (SRB) 62 62
[13] M Cilic (CRO) d M Granollers (ESP) 62 67(4) 61
[14] J Blake (USA) d V Hanescu (ROU) 62 64
A Seppi (ITA) d [Q] E Schwank (ARG) 75 64
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d P Mathieu (FRA) 67(5) 64 30 ret. (throat)
J Chardy (FRA) d J Acasuso (ARG) 63 62
T Berdych (CZE) d [LL] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 60 76(5)
J Melzer (AUT) d A Montanes (ESP) 46 75 63
I Karlovic (CRO) d J Benneteau (FRA) 36 76(5) 64

Doubles - First Round
[WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Ramirez Hidalgo (ESP) d C Kas (GER) / R Wassen (NED) 76(4) 16 11-9 - saved 1 M.P.
J Del Potro (ARG) / M Fish (USA) d N Almagro (ESP) / D Ferrer (ESP) 62 63
M Granollers (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) d F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) 76(3) 61

So Close. Yet Oh So Very Far.

Oh, tennis gods.  You so funny.

Right before Marat's match with Jo, Jo received the "Most Promising Young Tennis Player" award from the tournament.  He then went on to beat the "Most Promising Young Tennis Player" of the early 2000s in a tight one that saw Marat have his chances.  Jo won 64 75.

But as those of us who have been watching bleary eyed for the past two months, Marat doesn't so much win close matches anymore. 

Hell, he doesn't so much win matches anymore, period.  So that's nice.

But at least he shows up and looks pretty.  He'll always have that.

Beaten, Broken, and Battered. But Tres Adorable.

Once again, my five years of German help me in no way whatsoever. Thanks to greenshopper for posting these over at TW. The Four Musketeers are pretty much the *only* think from France that I don't actively hate.

Who'd This Kid Have To Schtoop To Get Creds?

Time For Kids sent, well, a kid, to cover IW.  I actually saw her all over the place.  Hard worker, that one.  Methinks Time better be sure they're not breaking any child labor laws.  I know times are tough, but come on.

Thanks to noname for the link.

R-O-L-A-I-D-S

Way to go, Falcon.  Biggest win of the year for our resident shit-starter, beating Jo 3 and 4.  All kidding aside, I'm really happy for him.  Let's get that Big 4 back where it belongs.

Aww...Nole/Jo net love is one of my favorite things.  Smuftastic!

Who knows if he can keep it up, though something tells me he's starting to believe in himself again.  He's had a different swagger about the courts in Miami and he's starting to say controversial things in his pressers again.  You know what that means...the Falcon has returned.  [Cue awesome Colbert bird screech].

As for Jo, he's had an ok year but it seems to me he's not playing with that extra spring in his step.  Granted, I didn't see today's match so maybe he did.  But based on what I have seen this year there's something a little off.  Not sure what it is.  But I hope he gets it back because he definitely has the quality to be top 5 if he can play that high octane game consistently.

Dorky Caps FTW!

Dorky caps made a surprise appearance today, protecting the normally naked heads of Jo, Nole, and Muzz.  Yes, A-Rod wears a hat too but I rather like my collage of love and I don't need him ruining it with his drippy redneck hat.

Jo won the French Civil War, beating Gilly in three, and Nole and Muzz had pretty easy workouts against Berdy and Viktor, respectively.  In fact, Muzz only dropped one game in his 61 60 embarrassment of Viktor.

Didn't stop him from looking absolutely knackered afterwards though:

I do love me the Commodus, but I'm happy Jo won.  It seems weird that Gilly is the #1 Pastry.  I feel like he's shooting above the rim them there and shouldn't have to deal with that pressure.  Let Jo fly the flag.  It'll be better for everyone.

Pic This: Mmmm. Nenad. Wet. Done.

Pic This: Coach Gael Keeps It Light

Big Byrd Takes Out Wolverine

Poor Gilly.  I was worried about him after hearing the interview with him yesterday when he seemingly didn't seem all that concerned about the difference between Davis Cup and any other tennis match you'll ever play.  Methinks the rookie just wasn't prepared for what he was about to walk into, especially on a hostile court.
 
Ain't no shame in losing to Big Byrd, though.  It was a tight match that took almost 3 and a half hours before Byrdy prevailed, 76(3) 46 76(2) 63.

 
Of course, this put a lot of pressure on Jo, who had to face the red hot (play-wise) Worm.  Thankfully Jo kept his cool and played solidly, beating Steps, 75 62 76(1).  Afterwards, Jo kept it teamy:

“Today I felt great, I’ve been playing very well in the past few weeks, it was good to win for the team and for Gilles Simon. I know what it’s like to play a first Davis Cup match and I wanted to give him a second chance."

Awww.

In Their Own Words

The other thing I love about Davis Cup and Fed Cup: The audio interviews

• Gilly

• Jo

• The Marat

• Nole

• Janko

• Rafa

You can find more here.

"A Musketeer loves women, and he loves them by taking them in his arms."

How could I forget about Team France?  They're preparing for their tie against the Czech Republic.  If it weren't for Serbia/Spain, this would be the tie of the weekend.  Because who knows what you're gonna get?  Which Big Byrd will show up?  Which Radek?  Can Jo and Gilles carry the French?  Will Reeshie and Gael have to step in?  Who knows?
What I do know is that I'd rather look at the Frenchies than the Czechies. 


So yeah, I'm gonna soak this in...

 





 

Jo Rulez!

 So for whatever reason, whenever Jo plays all I can think of is this:

And then I just end up singing "Jo Rulez!" throughout and saying "He macks on BA-NAN-AS." Oh to be inside my mind. Worrisome.

Congrats to Banana Jo, who beat Llodra in a surprisingly tight one, 75 76(3).  This is his second title of the year.  You know, I thought Jo was going to drop out of the top 10 after he failed to defend his points in Melbourne.  But the guy is playing solid tennis and picking up points left and right.  Good for him.  Here's hoping all these tournaments aren't going to destroy him physically though.  He's going to have to play Davis Cup, Indian Wells, and Miami and that's a pretty rough stretch.

"Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold."

First Gonzo at AO, now Jo.  It seems Rafa's going all Kill Bill on the ATP, taking hard court revenge left and right.  Rafa gutted out a tough three set win over Jo, 64 67(5) 64, to reach the semis in Rotterdam.  Next up, La Monf and a chance to avenge his loss in Doha earlier this year.

Perhaps avenging his loss to Muzz at the USO is on the agenda too?  You might want to put some padding around your heart area, Muzz.  Rafa's a comin'.

The other semi sees Better Than Average Mario against Muzz, who has quietly made his way through this tournament.  For some reason he was tested today by Gicquel, eventually winning due to the a left groin injury sustained by Gicquel in the third.  This was tough one that really could have gone against Andy, but he found his way through, winning 76(2) 46 30.

OOP for Saturday:
1.  Mario vs. Muzz (2:00pm)
2.  Rafa vs. La Monf (7:30pm)

Well That Was Some Unnecessary Drama.

Yeesh.  I'm glad I was too busy at work to pay attention to the livescores.  I might have had a bit of a fit.  Rafa was pushed to three sets by Goth Bols, eventually winning, 46 62 75.  I can't stand all these indoor pictures.  After being spoiled by all the great shadows and light from AO, this just looks so bush league.  Oh well.

In other drama, Daveed couldn't keep is semi-strong run going, losing to Misha, 62 36 62.  I wish I knew what was up with that kid.  He had a nice win over Baggy last week in Johannesburg.  It would have been nice to see him follow it up.

 
Meanwhile, the Frenchies roll on, as Jo and Gilly notched tough straight set wins.  This winning is getting contagious as even their non-Muskateer countrymen are catching on, with Marc Gicquel and Michael Llodra both winning three setters over Koralev and Dr. Ivo, respectively.

Here are your scores (Kolya and Apricot Bars are still playing):

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d S Bolelli (ITA) 46 62 75
[4] G Simon (FRA) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 75 76(1)
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) d [WC] J Huta Galung (NED) 76(4) 76(4)
M Ancic (CRO) d R Schuettler (GER) 75 62
M Llodra (FRA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 46 63 64
[LL] M Gicquel (FRA) d [Q] E Korolev (RUS) 36 63 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [6] D Ferrer (ESP) 62 36 62
 

He Puts the Jo In Johannesburg

Jo's celebration pics are the best. 

Erm...I hope that's a carving.  Ah well.  One step at a time I suppose.

Congrats to Jo who beat Jeremy Chardy in the all French final to win the SA Open, 74 75. 

I'm a little stressed out for him though.  That is one fragile body of his and he is playing A LOT.  He played Brisbane, Sydney, AO, Johannesburg, and now flies to Europe to play Rotterdam.  That's FIVE back to back tournaments.  Granted he withdrew in the second round of Sydney and lost in the quarters of AO, but still, that's a lot of tournaments.

Pic This: Love That Smile.

"Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh, Fernando's On Fire..."

THIS, was a statement match, in the same vein as Jo's win over Rafa last year.

It wasn't just the fact that Fernando won.  I mean, he beat Muzz the other day.  But it was HOW he won.  Not only did he do it with intelligent contained aggression and fitness (he took Jo's legs right out from under him), but he did it without any headcaseyness whatsoever.  All you need to know about this match is in the stats: Fernando converted 4 of 4 breakpoints.  Jo converted 2 of 13.  Translation: Fernando was nails under pressure.  That?  Was unexpected.

So congrats to Fer, who becomes this year's surprise semifinalist.  He'll play the winner of Rafa/Gilles, and right now it's looking like Rafa.  I just hope, win or lose, he continues with this quality.  It's really great to see.

VAMOS!!!

Anyone For A Game of Quarters?

Here are your boys:

 

 

Ah Lay.

Well Gilly made that look a lot easier than it should have been.  In what looked like it would be an uber competitive matchup, Gilly took out Average Mario in straight sets, 76 64 62.  Isn't this as far as he's ever gone in a Grand Slam?  Good for him. 

Unfortunately he'll run up against his good buddy LaMonf in the next round.  That match is going to have A LOT.  OF.  RUNNING.

Meanwhile, Jo's back is holding up well so far.  He overcame a lapse of concentration in the third set to easily beat Dudi Sela, 64 62 16 61.  He'll meet Blah in the next round.  Can you think of two more contrasting styles/personalities? 

Go Jo!

As for Reeshie, he fought valiantly against Gonzo.  In fact, it was a really good match with tremendous shotmaking.  But as is the trend with both these players, Reeshie won the first two sets handily, held match point in the third set tiebreak but couldn't convert, and Gonzo went Gonzo and started crushing winners from both sides to take the TB and then next two sets.  It was a marathon fifth set that really could have been decided by a coinflip.

Sad for Reeshie.  I was rooting for him in this one.  But this sets up a nice revenge match for Rafa in the next round.

Don't Bother, Jackie. He's Not On Facebook.

Really fun piece by Kamakshi Tandon on the Four Flying Frenchmen that are set to make 2009 very very interesting.

There's Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, the "confident" one. Gael Monfils, the "amazing" one. Gilles Simon, the "smart" one. And Richard Gasquet, the "nice" one.

...

All aged between 22 and 24, the generation came up together on the French and international circuits and name each other among their closest friends on tour.

In addition to his striking resemblance to Muhammad Ali, the 23-year-old Tsonga is the D'Artagnan of the group, a natural leader whose run to the Australian Open final last year may well have helped pave the way for the others' successes. "Since this moment, all the French players played better," Tsonga observed in his still-hesitant English. "So maybe, yeah."

The spokesperson's role falls to the bright and articulate Simon, who is quick to break down their individual personalities. "We've all got different styles," he said. "Jo is very confident, always. That's his strength." "Gael is so … amazing," said Simon, pausing for an adjective that captures Monfils' spectacular, acrobatic playing style and his zany personality.

"Richard, it's difficult for him because people are waiting for him to do something unbelievable every day. So it's hard for him, but he's a really nice guy," he finishes, putting his finger on the uber-talented but timid Gasquet.

Simon, 24, demurs when it comes to describing himself: "Me? I don't know," but Monfils doesn't miss a beat. "Gilles laughs a lot, plays video games a lot, and he's very smart," Monfils said.

Did I mention GIlles rules?

As for Simon, his handicap is his size -- a slender 5-foot-11 frame that might be too small for going toe to toe with the game's biggest guns. Still, he was one of only three players to record wins over Federer, Nadal and Djokovic last season, and is capable of keeping his new spot in the top 10 for some months yet.

He is writing a regular column for the French sporting newspaper L'Equipe, "An email from Gilles Simon," published in a computer-screen format complete with emoticons. In his most recent installment, he writes about the Facebook phenomenon that has penetrated the pro circuit as much as any other segment of society.

While there is a person on the Web site pretending to be him, Simon writes, he himself wants no part of it.

"Facebook, what is it?" he wrote. "It's egocentrism. It's a nightclub. It's voyeurism. It's 'Look at my vacation photos,' it's 'This morning I was in a bad mood, just so the whole world knows.' You say all, tell all. It's the pleasure of recounting your life, even at its most mundane.

"… Me, I have no desire to show my vacation photos. Firstly, they're mine. And then, I don't think people are interested. Finally, I don't see what it will add to my image. The newspapers for example asked me for pictures of my girlfriend. I refused. This is an area about which I don't speak.

"I am a tennis player. And I am not on Facebook."

FLOVE.