Forty Deuce

Donkey Says...Janko Tipsarevic

"Wonder how soft that hair would feel on the inside of my thighs as he pops his head up to quote me Nietzsche." --DG

I don't think I can really add anything to that.  So I'll just be quiet now.

 

 

Nomnomnom, you little cub.

Another One Bites The Dust.

Augh.  Marat retires, Goth Bols gets married, and now Janko is engaged.

He proposed to his girlfriend, TV presenter Biljanu Šešević while on vacation in the Maldives.

Thanks to Funkadelic for the link.

There Is Balance in Safinland

Marat continued his impressive Round 1 winning ways by beating Richard in two tough straight sets in St. Pete's.  To quote Mrs. Saifn, "Marat defeats Gasquet 7-6 6-4, furthering my theory that only one Safin can win a match on any given day."  So true.

Singles – Second Round
[2] V Hanescu (ROU) d I Marchenko (UKR) 63 64
E Gulbis (LAT) d [4] J Chardy (FRA) 76(7) 63
[8] H Zeballos (ARG) d [Q] O Dolgopolov Jr. (UKR) 63 61
B Phau (GER) d K Beck (SVK) 64 21 ret. (respiratory illness)

Singles – First Round
[1] M Youzhny (RUS) d A Golubev (KAZ) 63 62
I Kunitsyn (RUS) d [7] P Cuevas (URU) 64 63
M Safin (RUS) d R Gasquet (FRA) 76(5) 64

In Vienna, Tipsy scored a solid win over the always tricky tall guy, 76(4) 64.  Nice couple of weeks he's having. 

Singles – Second Round
[2] R Stepanek (CZE) d F Gil (POR) 62 63
[4] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d V Crivoi (ROU) 62 30 ret. (right shoulder)
[5] N Almagro (ESP) d W Odesnik (USA) 64 64

Singles – First Round
[3] G Monfils (FRA) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 75 64
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d [8] J Isner (SRB) 76(4) 64
D Koellerer (AUT) d J Nieminen (FIN) 61 62
[Q] D Hrbaty (SVK) d R Ramirez Hidalgo (ESP) 63 64

And over in Lyon, Simon took Gilly to the mat before going down.  And yes, I meant that the way it sounded.

Singles – Second Round
[5] J Benneteau (FRA) d [Q] K Anderson (RSA) 75 62
F Serra (FRA) d [8] A Montanes (ESP) 75 63

Singles – First Round
[2] G Simon (FRA) d S Bolelli (ITA) 76(5) 76(5)
[6] P Mathieu (FRA) d L Mayer (ARG) 76(5) 62
N Kiefer (GER) d [WC] S Grosjean (FRA) 46 76(7) 76(2) – Saved 2 M.P.
O Rochus (BEL) d [Q] V Millot (FRA) 63 62

Sunday Wrap-Up: Lazy Guest Blogging (ATP Edition) (UPDATE)

Unfortunately, much like C Note, I haven't had any access to TV today; ergo, I didn't see a single second of any of the finals.  They're all waiting impatiently on my DVR, though.

Beijing: Djokovic d. Cilic 6-2, 7-6(4)

 

Nice tournament win for Novak, even nicer that it'll send him back to the top 3.  That is one ridonkulous punch bowl they gave him for the room party, though.  And kudos also to Marin; even if he lost the final, rolling over Rafa like that in the semis was no small feat.

Tokyo: Tsonga s. Youzhny 6-3, 6-3

1. Jo's hair is nutty.  In a good way, but still.  Maybe it has something to do with the Van de Graaff generator they gave him as a trophy.

2. How surprised was I to see Misha in a final??  His first of the year, as ATPTennis.com tells me.  ATPTennis.com also tells me he's played 31 tournaments this year.  Wha?

Mons (Challenger): Tipsarevic d. Stakhovsky 7-6, 6-3

I don't have much to say about this except that I'm pretty sure Milo Rambaldi had something to do with Janko's trophy.  UPDATE: When this picture came along, I realized that they gave Sergei a crystal armadillo for his trophy or something.  I don't know what they're smoking in Mons, but I want some.

"I Wanna Rock With You, All Night..."

Aww...Tax does her best Michael Jackson impression.

 

Ooga Chakka Ooga Chakka Ooga Chakka...

 

Focus on your tennis and stop practicing making out with your girlfriend, Tomas.

 

You know what, dude?  You deserve to lose if you're going to wear those sunglasses.

FD's Most Wanted

 

 

 

Cheezburger, Cheezburger, Cheezburger!

Sigh.

Singles – First Round
T Gabashvili (RUS) d A Seppi (ITA) 63 61
[WC] D Brands (GER) d [Q] V Crivoi (ROU) 46 64 61
[Q] P Cuevas (URU) d B Phau (GER) 76(0) 64
I Navarro (ESP) d S Darcis (BEL) 64 64
P Petzschner (GER) d F Serra (FRA) 76(3) 62
[Q] P Riba (ESP) d [Q] E Korolev (RUS) 76(3) 62
[Q] P Starace (ITA) d M Gonzalez (ARG) 57 64 63
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d C Rochus (BEL) 64 62
J Hernych (CZE) d [WC] K Krawietz (GER) 60 46 63
[WC] S Greul (GER) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) 26 63 63
[Q] M Granollers (ESP) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 64 64
A Beck (GER) d O Hernandez (ESP) 67(3) 64 64

Tuesday:

You Sockless Little Twit

 
The Sockless Wonder dispatched of the Socked Misogynist 64 36 61 64. 

Go to the corner, eat some Rice a Roni, and think about what you've done, asshole.


You and me, buddy.  You and me.

I Would Totally If You Seek Amy You

Janko's got a hankerin' for some Brit Brit, y'all:

Janko Tipsarevic has always been something of an eccentric but it may surprise one or two of his fellow professionals to learn he is currently hooked on Britney Spears. The Serbian, who lost to Andy Murray at this year's French Open, was overheard probing one of his team over Britney's latest Tour dates — aptly named Circus', given he would make a fine ringleader. Unfortunately for Janko, Britney's tour left these shores last week to head for Paris so don't be surprised if he isn't too disappointed should he lose his second-round match tomorrow.

Thanks to donkeygrooming for the link and for being a good friend and following tennis this week when I totally know you don't care, and for spending your otherwise very important work hours googling hot tennis players.

Pic This: TGIF (Grainy, Like Real Scrambled Porn)

Right on daytime TV!  Naughty.

Pic This: Save To File.

Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be whipping this pic out down the road.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'...

I really kind of meant it in a "lookit all those straight set wins" kind of way, but then I found this...

... and this...

Ha.

That, of course, is the pride of Great Britain, taking a dive on his way to a tough 4-set victory over Potito Starace.  It's a good sign that he could tough out a win on a surface he's clearly uncomfortable on, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that RG 2009 is not where Muzz is going to have his Grand Slam breakthrough.  His next match, where he'll face either F-Lo or Tipsy, could be a real struggle for him.

Back to all those straight setters... Nando, Gilly, Marin, Gonzo and Victor Hanescu (okay...) are all through to the third round in straight sets.  Nando, Gilly, Gonzo and Marin had almost absurdly easy times of it out there, with Gilly in particular picking up speed as the match progressed.  Good for him, it would be great for him to be able to turn around his season a little at his home Slam.  Arnaud Clement, C-Roch and Nico Almagro are through in 4, the latter meaning that-- of course-- we must say goodbye to Ernie.  Oh Ernie.

On the women's side, Kristina Barrois is gunning for my personal "least favourite person" award for failing to take out Vika, even after being up two breaks in the first.  Oh well.  Agnes had an impressive 0 and 2 win over Lena V and Nails also had a competent win (1 and 4) over Timea Bacsinszky (known to me as the only player who wears more makeup than JJ).  The Cone managed to finish off her match from yesterday in 2, so good for her.  Pavs is also through, headband and all, in two sets over Julie Coin.

(Sorry for the rushed, picture-free quality of this post; I've got my goddaughter the rest of the day and somehow her mother didn't think "watch TV with Aunt Carrie" was the best idea for an activity.  Bummer.)

Serbian Bromance 92%

Congrats to Team Serbia, who beat the home team, Germany, to win the World Team Championship.  What's the WTC you ask and why are you just hearing about it now?  It was a team based competition that took place in Dusseldorf this week that I didn't bother covering until now.  So there.

Much love for the adorably hot boys of awesome hair and perfect skin.  Must be something in the water.


Ah.  Guy love.  Always win.  Have we ever seen Janko so happy?

Pic This: Janko's Got A Girlfriend, C Note Has A Sad Face

According to Lana her name is Biljana Sesevic and she's a former TV presenter
who is now a boat dealer (huh?).

Pic This: Pretty He Is

This might be my favorite pic that Love All took.

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All)

5-0 Be Pigs, Y'all. PIGS!

The Janko video I reference in the podcast. You can see Marat laughing in the corner. I'm too lazy to research and identify the chick so if anyone knows put it in the comments. She looks so darn familiar.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Missed it. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ethpana!

Yeah, if I were a spectator, I'd be sitting in the aisleways, too.

 

But play did finally kick off in Benidorm with three matches set to be played.  Daveed and Nole the Smurf kicked off the tie and though Nole showed some flashes of his old form, his groundstrokes were all over the place and his serve was wonktastic (hmmm...sounds like another Serb I know).  And he insisted on trying to dropshot Daveed.  Roger's got nothing on Nole in the stubborness department.  Nole put up a nice fight to come back in the third to make it closer, but it was a straight set win for the resurgent Daveed, 63 63 76(3).

 

 Next up, the Return of the King of Clay.  Do I really need to write this up?  The good news for Tipsy?  He held his opening serve to level the match 1-1.  The bad news?  He would go on to lose the next 11.  Final score: 61 60 62.  Watching Rafa on hard courts for 8 months, it's easy to forget how ruthless his game is on clay.  It's just not right.

With Rafa's match being so quick, there was time for doubles.  Nole pulled out and was replaced by Viktor, and the Serbs got the win over a seemingly discombobulated FeLo and Disco.  Disco really does suck at Davis Cup, no?

The win guarantees a Rafa/Nole rubber tomorrow.  Let's see if Nole can get up for that one.

Offer Ana. OFFER ANA!!!

While the contractors are busy with the duct tape, Team Serbia and Spain hit the practice court.


The Negotiator just won't let up.  Looks like he just offered JJ.





 

In Their Own Words

The other thing I love about Davis Cup and Fed Cup: The audio interviews

• Gilly

• Jo

• The Marat

• Nole

• Janko

• Rafa

You can find more here.

Pic This: More Cute Boys Playing In Dirt

Oh, Janko.  You so know how hot you are.


Really, Rafa?  Really??


He looks so relaxed!  Squee!!!


"Now click your heels three times and say..."


Something tells me this conversation had to do with fishing.  Either that or these guys are the worst Tai Chi team ever.

Tipsy IS Jack Bauer

 

More on the Serb/Croat dust up yesterday:

Fearing that historical tensions between the rival supporters might boil over into violence, Tipsarevic asked tournament organisers to move his game against Cilic away from the outside courts - where spectators can wander around as they please - and onto one of the tightly supervised show courts.

Melbourne is home to large communities of expats from the former Yugoslavian states, whose volatility was all-too-clearly demonstrated by the notorious Australian Open riot of 2007. That was the year when gangs of Serbian and Croatian fans fought a pitched battle in the elegant "garden area" of Melbourne Park.

"Normally the problem is with people who live abroad," said Tipsarevic. "And especially in Australia because it's so far away from their homeland. It's stupid to say these people love Serbia more, but they do feel nostalgic for it - and sometimes they cheer too much.

"I told the guys who are in charge of the schedule what might happen, and I'm glad they listened to me and put us on the show court, where the chance of violence is reduced. The problem is that if the Serbs and Croats pass by each other, and someone says something rude, then they will start to fight."

Tipsarevic's forebodings were borne out by the atmosphere on No 2 court, which became aggressively polarised and partisan. The pro-Cilic faction sat in the south-eastern corner, decked out in their red-and-white checked shirts. The Tipsarevic devotees camped in the western stand, wearing long capes decorated with the Serbian flag. Both groups chanted slogans and shouted obscenities in their own languages - which, fortunately, were completely unintelligible to the majority of spectators.

"The things that they were saying were really not nice," explained Cilic, who was the target of much of the abuse. "It was tough to play, of course. But I was trying to stay focused on the match and do as well as I could. When they said a couple of bad words to me, Janko told them to be quiet."

The rival fans' behaviour may have been more typical of an "Old Firm" football derby than a tennis match, but the players still maintained an impressive level of sportsmanship. Tipsarevic and Cilic came out dressed in identical kits and did all they could to avoid igniting an already inflammable situation.

"We were talking to each other when we went to the net," Tipsarevic explained, "and he told me, 'I don't know about you, but for me this is really tough, playing in these conditions.' I said, 'For me, the same.'

"Both the Serbs and the Croats were a little bit incorrect," Tipsarevic added. "They were singing songs that were nothing to do with tennis, because of the history we have between each other."

The players still put on an absorbing show, as witnessed by the long lines of spectators queuing for a seat in the stands. At 6ft 6in, Cilic is even taller and more lethal on serve than his compatriot Mario Ancic (5ft 5in), and he bombed down a fusillade of aces on the way to a two-set lead.

Tipsarevic rallied in the third set, taking advantage of his opponent's brief loss of concentration to spray a series of forehand winners. But a lucky net cord helped Cilic to steal the initiative back in the fourth, and he quickly closed out the match.

"Given all the things that were going on, the tension and provocation, I was glad to win it in four," Cilic said. "Things were getting tighter towards the end."

The police kept a close eye on the fans as they streamed out of the venue. The more hot-headed elements formed two lines in the concourse underneath the stadium, singing, gesturing and staring each other out. Happily, though, the atmosphere was closer to West Side Story than Goodfellas.

"We kept an eye on the match but no ejections were needed and the police have been very happy with the way things have gone so far this week," said a spokesperson for the Victoria police. After the riots of 2007, and the incident last year when two Greek supporters were doused with pepper spray, the 2009 Australian Open has remained a non-contact sport.

Pic This: Fill In The Title.

Pic This: It wasn't the GREATEST week for Serbian tennis, that's for sure.

From this:

To this:

This:

To This:

This:

To This:

And this:

To this:

Olympics Tournament Summary: Day 3

 
Well that was boring.  What fun is tennis when everyone you expect to win ACTUALLY wins? 

Roger, Nole, and Rafa all went through with ease.  Rafa disposed of an exhausted Lleyton Hewitt, who had been up past midnight finishing a marathon doubles match that ended 18-16 in the third.  Thankfully, Rafa's form was much better today.  Maybe he got a call from Ana telling him not to worry and that her hand was ok.

As for "upsets", my boy Paul Henri Mattieu (so cute!!!) ousted Kolya and Juergen Melzer knocked out weary Stan The Man Wawrinka.  Too bad for Stan.  The heat and humidity got to him.  In other bad news, Janko had to withdraw with an ankle injury against Olivier Rochus.  Poor Janko.  He needed a wheelchair to get to his presser:

As for the ladies, the Sisters Williams, JJ, Dinara, and Lena D. all went through with ease.  The big news was Agi Radwanska getting ousted by Frannie Schiavone.  Tough loss for A-Rad.  I she going through a bit of slump?  She got dusted by Caro last week in the semis of the Nordic Light Open.  That being said, Schiavone was a tough match-up.  She always has that little extra something when she plays for her country.

As for other "upsets", SKI BOOTS IN DA HOUSE!!!  Caro dismissed Dani H. 1 and 3 and Mama Bammer ditched Peppermint Patty, 4 and 4.  Seriously, who is going to come out of that top quarter?  I have to put my money on Bepa, but since everyone else I've picked has lost so far I fear I may have just jinxed the crying Russian.

Finally, in the only match I actually watched from start to finish, Zheng Jie had to dig down and fight hard to come back and beat Lloggostera Vives, 67 61 64.  That first set was a tough one and Zheng looked absolutely wiped out.  She was leaning against the back wall, doubling over for air, etc.  But she kept fighting and as it turned out, it was Vives who had nothing left in the tank.  Mondo Kudos (yes, that's an official term) to Zheng, who I find myself rooting for more each and every day. 

Beauty may save the world, but ignorance will destroy it.

In an interview with Serbian Playboy, resident Forty Deuce hottie Janko Tipsarevic apparently said this about women's tennis:

“99% of male tennis players can’t stand women’s tennis. There’s no other sport with such a big disparity concerning level of play and the money women make. A friend of mine says that a woman who wins a Slam should only earn enough money to pay for her airplane ticket home. Who knows what else I would say if it wasn’t for Ana and Jelena whom I may consider friends. But of course, I appreciate the effort they’re putting into tennis, because I know they practise as hard as I do.

The way women think on court cannot be compared to men. Their only strategy is ‘hit the ball where your opponent isn’t.’ Nothing more! No ‘Put more spin on the ball, this is an important point, play to her backhand’. No way!

It’s that such kind of tennis works today. Look at the Williams sisters, Sharapova or Ivanovic who hits the ball like a truck on steroids. I get a bit critical when I see how much the women earn and how their opening rounds go. That’s what irritates me the most....

Look at Federer who is so dominant, he has to work so hard to beat a Starace or an Almagro, he may even lose a set and then look at Sharapova or Ivanovic who lose 3 games in the first 4 rounds. It makes me sick”.

Note to Ana and JJ -- With friends like this, who needs enemies?

To be fair, Janko didn't say anything that we haven't heard before from the men's side.  Prior to Wimbledon, Tennis Channel ran a preview show wherein every male player they interviewed except for Roger said that they didn't think it was fair for women to get equal pay at the Slams.  Rafa, Nole, Youzney, they all harped on it.  So I think its clear how the guys feel and I'm not going to get into that whole equal pay argument, except to say that under Janko's crazy logic, Rafa should have received less prize money because he only lost four games in the final  Yeah, that makes sense.

But this notion that the women's game lacks strategy and tactics compared to the men's game is absolutely ridiculous.  Look at Wimbledon for example.  How many blogs and websites picked Ivo Karlovic, Mario Ancic, Andy Roddick, and John Isner to potentially make runs at Wimbledon?  What was their basis?  Because they had huge serves and nothing more.  No tactics, no strategy. 

Are we currently in the era of Big Babe Tennis?  Absolutely.  Does that mean it's mindless ball bashing? Anyone who actually watches women's tennis knows that it's not.   Before he starts making these ignorant and uninformed comments, Janko needs to sit down and watch the Williams sisters final, AI vs. JJ semifinal at Roland Garros, and Pova vs. Henin at the Australian Open.