Forty Deuce

"...even Gasquet." How sad.

ATP piece on France's ability to identify young talent.

But all the talk of "talent spotting" and "detection" immediately made me think of this:

"Steve Holt!"

We get it.  You're a fighter.  A bull.  Ain't nobody gonna hold you down. 

Seriously, you don't have to prove it every.fucking.day.

Rafa saved one match point to survive an inspired day from Tommy.  Poor, poor Tommy.  He still hasn't been able to beat Rafa, and this was probably his best chance.

Rafa being Rafa, still found a way to find the positives:

"The better new is I didn't play my best but I played much better than yesterday," said Nadal. "I felt the ball much better than yesterday. For moments, I felt I have the control of the ball. I have the chance to play big rallies without having mistakes. So that's very important for me."

Well he better find his game quick because he faces Jo tomorrow.  And Jo is looking good, even though he had to oust the hobbled Chicken today.

Gotta love it.

Heart of Lion, Body of A One-Legged Chicken

(Couldn't find a pic from today.  So we're going to go with this one.)

I have no idea how Commodus survived this match, but big ups to him.  After splitting the first two sets against Lubes, Gilles suffered a rough knee injury in the third set that required him to call a trainer in the middle of the game.  He was hobbling and really, had no business continuing to play, and had it been a tournament in any other city I'm sure he would have retired.  But he gamed up and finished the match.  He somehow kept holding serve to force a tiebreak, and in that tiebreak he played extremely intelligent tennis to take the match.  I don't know what happened to Lubes.  You'd think he'd start moving Gilly around but he didn't.  He just kept puffing the ball back with no pace in the middle of the court.  It was so odd.

Afterwards, Gilles seemed almost embarrased about the win.  It isn't clear whether he'll be able to play his next match. 

Earler, Fernando survived a scare and kept his WTF dreams alive by gutting out a three set win over Seppi.  Don't fuck this up, Fer.  I want to see you in London.

Oh, and before I forget, what the fuck, Feli?

Singles - Second Round
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d B Becker (GER) 62 61
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 67(3) 64 64
[8] J Tsonga (FRA) d A Montanes (ESP) 61 75
[11] G Simon (FRA) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 63 36 76(4)

Singles - First Round
N Almagro (ESP) d M Chiudinelli (SUI) 62 64
[Q] D Guez (FRA) d S Wawrinka (SUI) 63 64
J Monaco (ARG) d J Chardy (FRA) 76(6) 75
J Benneteau (FRA) d P Petzschner (GER) 46 75 63
[Q] A Clement (FRA) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 61

Pic This: Creepy.

Give It Up For The Little Guys

Big ups to Koyla for taking his third title of the season, beating Fer in straight sets.  

Despite their rankings, a bit of a surprising win, no?

 

And Gilly finally breaks through for his first title of the season, beating Viktor in straight sets.

 

You're the best.

Viktor?!?!

Awesome win for the forgotten Serb, coming back from a set down to take out Jo.  He dropped the first set 16 before coming back to demolish Jo 62 63.

No defending the title for you, Jo. 

It's a "Go Tennis!" final for me, as Viktor will take on Gilles. 

Gilles karate chopped DoucheStamp in two tight sets. 

Have fun, boys.  I know I will.

Pic This: Jesus, Someone Get Gilles A Belt.

I love, so much, that the ATP marketing guys have a sense of humor. 

Because this collection of fearsome kickboxers is...neither of those last two things.

You're adorable and all.  Really.

But there's a reason the French have never won a war.  Like...ever.

As for Halpert, he was making sexy face...

...while getting a thai foot massage.  Efficient, that one.

Way adorable though. 

And does Gilles shirt say "Cool Trainers Always Make Me Smile"?  You're so awesome.

Pic This: Cuties.

And they won!

Pic This: It Must Be Love.

You knew today was going to be all about the love when Nico and Rafa took some time out of their busy work schedules to enjoy a little couples massage.  That's love, people.

Yes, Flavia.  Your balls are *that* big.

SuperJo.

I didn't know you could call an MTO for a hug.  I wish Bepa called one.

Why is Elf *always* whacking off during matches?  It's poor form, dude.

This Little Frenchie Went To Market, This Little Frenchie Went Home

 

Jo and Gael move on to the Round of 16 with ease.  Jo with a straight set win over the Techno King, and Gael after Chucho retired in the third set.  Both highl entertaining guys who were made for NYC, but I have to put my money on Jo from here on out.  It's been fun, Gael, but for obvious reasons you need to go away now.

 

But all was not well for the Blue, White, and Red.  Gilly was forced to retire after dropping the third set because of a knee injury.  Now that France has caught on, it's official: Knee problems are the new black.  

Poor Gilles.  He was playing so well, too.

Pic This: Muggy

Day 3 is in the books and the first rounds on both sides are complete.  

Hike up your socks, folks, it's just getting interesting.

Surrealism.

Still the best hair in tennis.

The WAGs are out in full force.

Happy and no headlights.  Win.

You Kneed To Relax, Boys

Aw, poor Gilly.  But he had a great run and I think he's got some confidence back.  Does anyone else get the sense that he's playing tight?  Either from the pressure, lack of confidence, or injury?  He just doesn't seem to be the same smiley Gilles from last year.  Hell, I guess we can say the same for Nole.

Magician, Joker, Entertainer.  Kid got through in straight sets.

He'll face the winner of Big Berd and Rafa.  Here's hoping for a 1, 2, 3, 4 semis.

 

En Fuego

Slowly but surely, he's working his way back to form.  Rafa started slowly (literally) against Paulie, eventually finding himself down 4-1.  He looked a step slow and fairly tentative, and Paulie capitalized by jumping on every short ball that Rafa hit.  But then he hit a ridiculous backhand flick passing shot and something seemed to flip.  He got that fire back and the fistpumping and vamosing kicked into high gear.  

I was gchatting with donkeygrooming at the time and she asked what the score was.  I told her Rafa was down 1-4 but he would be fine.  You could see it.  Once he secured the first set 75, the rest was history.  He closed out the match and played well.  I still think he's a step slow and he doesn't trust his legs.  But if he can keep notching some wins he'll be able to work himself out of it.

In the other matches of the evening, Gilles was able to close out on Kolya in three sets, and Big Berd bombed his way to a straight set win.  He'll clash with Rafa tomorrow in what will be a tricky one for Rafa.  Then again, they're all feeling a bit tricky these days, no?

Belly Up

The boys were all about showing off their goods today in Cincy.  Isner scored a huge win over Haasi, in a tight three setter 76(5) 57 76(3).  Really nice win for Halpert.

And Gilly has a two match win streak (what???) with his three set win over Igor.  Man, there is a whole lotta lank going on in that wee little body of yours, Mr. Simon.

But the rest of the day saw quite a few surprising results.  Gonzo retired after the first set to Big Berd, Fer lost to Garcia-Lopez, Lawnmower took out Sods, and Daveed stopped Not!Mario in straights as well.  Add to that list FeLo going down 9-7 in the third set tie break to DoucheStamp, Techno falling to Gooch, and Blah losing to Consumption (ok, maybe that one's not really an "upset") and you have yourself quite the eventful day for the sausages.

Singles - Second Round
[9] G Simon (FRA) d I Andreev (RUS) 76(5) 67(6) 61
D Ferrer (ESP) d [14] M Cilic (CRO) 76(4) 62

Singles - First Round
T Berdych (CZE) d [10] F Gonzalez (CHI) 64 ret. (knee)
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [11] F Verdasco (ESP) 76(4) 76(4)
L Hewitt (AUS) d [12] R Soderling (SWE) 36 76(8) 63 - saved 2 M.P.
[Q] M Youzhny (RUS) d V Hanescu (ROU) 75 62
J Melzer (AUT) d F Lopez (ESP) 57 76(4) 76(7)
A Seppi (ITA) d [Q] J Hernych (CZE) 36 64 61
[Q] C Guccione (AUS) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 75 26 63
I Kunitsyn (RUS) d J Blake (USA) 76(5) 67(5) 64
P Petzschner (GER) d [Q] S Bolelli (ITA) 76(6) 63
[WC] J Isner (USA) d T Haas (GER) 76(5) 57 76(3)

Doubles - Second Round
[2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d R Lindstedt (SWE) / M Melo (BRA) 64 64

Doubles - First Round
M Llodra (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) d J Melzer (AUT) / R Stepanek (CZE) 76(2) 64

No Matter Who Wins, We All Lose

It's just unfair that these two ever have to play each other. 

 

And it ended pretty much the way you'd think it would.  Jo took it easily in straight sets, 63 63.  Love the new haircut though, Gilly.

I Gotta Feeling, That Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night.

Pics from last night's Montreal player party. 

Or at least pics of players who actually kept their clothes on during the party. 


That's a lot of look, Tommy.  A lot of look.


The hair.  It kills me, Fer.


That's just a whole lotta adorable.


Does the ATP have a Manorexia problem?  Carbs a good thing, boys.


Oh, Andy. 

You were totally beat with an ugly stick but I heart you lots.

"I'm Like A Beggar With No Luck..."

 

Well, you'll always have pretty.

Loses his first match in Hamburg to a qualifier in three sets.  Why he didn't choose to defend Indy is beyond me.  Is he still with Carinne?  Something tells me he's been galoshing the Cone.  Clearly he's got whatever she has.

Not sure if it helps any of us Gilly fans sleep at night, but Gilles wasn't the only one to crash out of Hamburg today.  Tommy, Stan, and DoucheStamp all found themselves booking their flights to the U.S. a tick earlier than they'd like.

Singles – Second Round
I Navarro (ESP) d [4] T Robredo (ESP) 75 76(2)
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [5] S Wawrinka (SUI) 62 64
[8] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [Q] P Starace (ITA) 62 46 64
[Q] P Cuevas (URU) d [9] J Melzer (AUT) 76(5) 63
[10] V Troicki (SRB) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 36 62 64
[13] P Mathieu (FRA) d [Q] P Riba (ESP) 61 26 76(3)
[WC] D Brands (GER) d [1] G Simon (FRA) 36 64 63

Singles - First Round
J Benneteau (FRA) d J Chela (ARG) 64 16 61
J Monaco (ARG) d M Youzhny (RUS) 76(4) 63
[WC] F Mayer (GER) d R Schuettler (GER) 67(3) 63 63
F Fognini (ITA) d I Minar (CZE) 64 62

Doubles - First Round
[2] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) d J Chardy (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) 36 63 10-7
[4] L Dlouhy (CZE) / D Skoch (CZE) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 76(5) 76
J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d M Granollers (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) 64 62
M Melo (BRA) / F Polasek (SVK) d [WC] K Krawietz (GER) / N Langer (GER) 60 64

Wednesday OOP:

Pic This: Around The Horn On Day 2

Day 2 pretty much followed the script from Day 1.  The top seeds played like top seeds, a few moments of heartburn, a few minor upsets.  But all in all, no major shakeups.

The Getty caption to this pic is "Jeremy Chardy serves to Andy Roddick during their first round match...", which...uh, no.  Still a rad pic though.

Momo will vanquish all that stand in her way.  Or...well...at least the one who stood in her way today.  Who knows what'll happen in two days.

Aw...how adorable.  She went ditched the black tape and went with the traditional off-white tape out of respect for Wimbly.  Or something.

And I'm pretty sure that if Martina saw this pic she'd cream herself.  Go Volley!Ana!

Commodus out of the shadows.

I shit you not.  Those are the lyrics to "One Moment In Time" by Whitney Houston. 

That hand belongs to Georgie Stoop, who also admitted to listening to Spin Doctors before taking the court.  Either Georgie Stoop is 40 years old or the early 90's just hit Britain.

Uh...ok.

JJ was complaining about her feet again today.  So go ANTA!

Seriously, Adidas has to be feeling pretty good about themselves.  That or they totally bribed all the photogs to not take pics of their athletes slipping on the grass.

To this day my parents still make fun of me because when I was a kid (and really, up until I was like 14) I always took pictures crouched down on one knee.  I have no idea where that habit came from.  But I'm fairly certain I have a childhood pic that looks exactly like this one.  Minus the racquet and ball.  But I think I was definitely in a skirt.  All class, baby.

Nice.  Why don't they just write "FAIL" up there and leave it up.

Without Photo Evidence, I Refuse To Believe It

But in other dude news, A-Rod came out of the gate with a somewhat impressive performance over newly-shorn Jeremy Chardy, who all of sudden looks Robredoesque.  Rod made only 9 unforced errors.  On grass.  That's, and I hate to phrase it this way, Rafa-like.

Then again, he still needed four sets to seal the win.  Which seems to indicate that maybe he was playing a little too safely on his return games.  I'm not asking you to go all Blah on us, Andy, but you really do have to pick it up and play more aggressively on the green stuff.

Elfy also pwned on his first match on grass since last year's Wimbly and in a somewhat shocking development, Gilly and his one good knee won in straight sets.

According to the Wimbledon website, Ernie won.  I checked my calendar and its not April Fool's, Christmas, or my birthday.  So...nice try, Wimbledon.  I will not fall for your poorly edited scoreboard.  And also, that is a mean mean joke.

CTRL-D

Thanks to the best gay for sending this along.  Nice to see the hot boys of tennis getting the love and respect they deserve.

But no Goth Bols or Janko?  Blasphemy!

Pic This: So What'd I Miss During My 72 Hour All Nighter?

It's a good day to be Agnes.


We get it.  You're *so* pretty.  Stop.


Something about Pavs is very Mini-Dina.  I can't stop lolling.


Suspect.


Jesus!!!


Devil. 

They are often dressed the same.  Some might argue they have the same sponsor.

Yeah, wrap you little heads around that one, kiddies.  Suck it, C.S. Lewis!


"Pass the dutchie 'round the left hand side, Pass the dutchie on the left hand side."


Show off.


Man.  The 'coon eyes need to go.


Oh, look at you pounding on your heart.  I just want to give you a noogie.


Ana.  Tongue.  Wrinkly Sausage Finger Man Hands. 

You're welcome, boys.


Masha/Dina semis?  Masha/Ana semis?  The world is your oyster.


Gilles Simon: The Daniela Hantuchova of the ATP.  Wear some bike shorts or something. 


I want to go to there.  Minus the RogerSex.  But otherwise, YES.


I'm going to pretend that's Mo in the chair.  Because that makes it 700,000% awesomer.


Never Forget.

Skinny Guys Everyone Forgot About

  

Yeah... those guys.  Every single slam, I look over the draws at the end of the first week and have 3-4 "oh... that guy?  Really??" revelations.  Marin Cilic is definitely one of those... his career record on clay is, uh, less than stellar.  But if Super Mario can't be here, it's nice to see his younger sidekick doing well. Except for the second set, it was a relatively routine win over Stepanek, which seems like a pretty good result. The Worm's a solid clay court player, and it seems like Marin played a decent match.  

It's not necessarily surprising that Kolya would still be in this, but it's so good to see him back and playing well.  I don't know what his expectations were coming into Roland Garros, but coming off a long injury layoff, it would have been reasonable for them to be fairly low.  Hopefully that match against Nando will live up to its potential, their head to head is 4-1 Davydenko, but they're even on clay and Nando is obviously a completely different player than he was last time they played (3 years ago).

And, finally, the love child of Tim Henman and Pete Sampras took out an injured Gilly in straights.  Oh well, Gilly.  Oh well.  I didn't see it, but I can't possibly hold a grudge against anyone who reminds me even remotely of Tim Henman, so roll on Victor Hanescu.  I guess.

Pic This: It Finally Gets Interesting

Get ready, Paris.  If you hated Shrieka, you're going to hate this one.

Disco Cone won a match!  And gave an awesome presser to boot.

...

...

...

I'm sorry.  What were we talking about?  My mind wandered.

Uh.  Ok.

Yes, we can smell what Marat is cooking.  And it smells like a big pile of bullshit.

I don't know why I thought Jay-Z would do well here. 

It's ok, Purple One.  Go get ready for Wimbly.

Le sigh.  Love you.

I look through a lot of tennis pictures everyday.  And the reality is that these players are so technically sound that it becomes rare that you see an action shot of a player that looks new. 

This one looked new.  Her face isn't all contorted, she's balanced, and she's statuesque. 

Love it.

Agnes rockin the punk Fila dress.  She won!  I can't really explain my affinity for Agnes. But I'm really happy she's winning again.

Callin' Out.

All credit to ESPN for calling itself out.  From their 5 things we learned today feature:

1. Dinara Safina is playing like the favorite: Through two rounds she has lost a total of exactly … uh, two games -- in less than two hours. The No. 1-ranked Russian rolled qualifier Vitalia Diatchenko 6-1, 6-1. Since she ascended to the top spot, Safina has won 16 of her 17 matches on clay. She got to the final here a year ago and made the Australian Open final earlier this year. This, clearly, represents her best chance to join brother Marat as a Grand Slam champion.

Safina's coach, Zeljko Krajan -- naturally -- was again disappointed in her play.

"If one day he's going to be happy, I think I'll finish my career," she said. "He's never happy. Even today, he's not happy."

2. And Ana Ivanovic is starting to play like the defending champion: There have been some dicey moments this year -- like losing in the third round of the Australian Open and her second matches in Miami and Rome -- but her form seems to be returning.

Ivanovic torched Tamarine Tanasugarn 6-1, 6-2 and she said she thinks she can repeat at Roland Garros.

"I do," she said, "and I worked very hard for it and know I have a game."

3. ESPN.com's "experts" asleep at the wheel: The four women tabbed by six ESPN.com writers as sleepers -- Amelie Mauresmo (2), Patty Schnyder (2), Sabine Lisicki and Kaia Kanepi -- all lost in the first round. Sleepers, did we say sleepers? We meant to place them in the early-exit category.

"If Gulbis loses, I'm completely inept with my pre-tournament picks," said tennis writer Bonnie Ford, eyeing the scoreboard with disgust early in the day.

Ten minutes later, Ernests Gulbis -- Ford's male sleeper -- fell to Nicolas Almagro in four sets. What's the French word for inept?

"Incapable," said Ford, who speaks fluent French, explaining that the word is the same in both English and French.

4. Andy Roddick is the last American man standing: As a corollary to No. 3 -- and a public service, no doubt -- we are compelled to further mention that no fewer than four ESPN.com experts (who shall remain nameless) chose Roddick as their candidate for an early exit. With the loss by California native Robert Kendrick to Gilles Simon in the second round, 5-7, 0-6, 1-6, Roddick is the LAMS.

Did we mention that Simon and fellow Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who now appear to be in terrific form, were the other two early-exit choices?

Tapping Momo as a sleeper and Gilly and Jo as early exits weren't bad calls.  But Sabine?  Everyone knew she was pretty injured coming into RG.  Kaia Kanepi?  Uh...yeah...I don't know what that was about. 

But really, say it with me...ERNIE???

I guess I don't really understand how Bonnie Ford can be SO SHOCKED that Ernie lost.  My only guess is that while the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night to watch Ernie lose ever so beautifully (though let's face it, he hasn't been losing beautifully lately) Bonnie's doing the smart and rational thing and sleeping. 

Pfft.  Weak humans.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'...

I really kind of meant it in a "lookit all those straight set wins" kind of way, but then I found this...

... and this...

Ha.

That, of course, is the pride of Great Britain, taking a dive on his way to a tough 4-set victory over Potito Starace.  It's a good sign that he could tough out a win on a surface he's clearly uncomfortable on, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that RG 2009 is not where Muzz is going to have his Grand Slam breakthrough.  His next match, where he'll face either F-Lo or Tipsy, could be a real struggle for him.

Back to all those straight setters... Nando, Gilly, Marin, Gonzo and Victor Hanescu (okay...) are all through to the third round in straight sets.  Nando, Gilly, Gonzo and Marin had almost absurdly easy times of it out there, with Gilly in particular picking up speed as the match progressed.  Good for him, it would be great for him to be able to turn around his season a little at his home Slam.  Arnaud Clement, C-Roch and Nico Almagro are through in 4, the latter meaning that-- of course-- we must say goodbye to Ernie.  Oh Ernie.

On the women's side, Kristina Barrois is gunning for my personal "least favourite person" award for failing to take out Vika, even after being up two breaks in the first.  Oh well.  Agnes had an impressive 0 and 2 win over Lena V and Nails also had a competent win (1 and 4) over Timea Bacsinszky (known to me as the only player who wears more makeup than JJ).  The Cone managed to finish off her match from yesterday in 2, so good for her.  Pavs is also through, headband and all, in two sets over Julie Coin.

(Sorry for the rushed, picture-free quality of this post; I've got my goddaughter the rest of the day and somehow her mother didn't think "watch TV with Aunt Carrie" was the best idea for an activity.  Bummer.)

Pic This: RG Day 1

The RG Sunday start.  Nothing quite like it.


Not a great day for French ladies.  Mathilde blew 8 match points, all on her serve, double faulting on half them. 

Yeah, a bit nervy these French, no?


Uh uh.  No one gets into Allison "Mom Jeans" Lang's face.  No one.


Fired up Gilly is the hottest Gilly of all.


Quietly confident Muzz is most def the hottest Muzz of all.


Fed must have gotten a haircut.  Cuz I think he's cute again.

As for Pico...yeah....


 Yin and Yang. 

I just love Daveed's totally zen "Come to Jesus" look.  HOT.

 
Nice little keg you got going there, Lleyton.


Baby E's pigeontoedness can't be helping.  Still...I want her tan.


That is some impressive sweating, Ernie.  Well done.


ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?

Back In Black

So far so good on the men's side on Sunday, which saw all the seeds through though not without a battle of two.  Muzz didn't need much time at all in his opening match against Chela.  He took care of the Argentine, 2 2 and 1, in an hour and a half.  Not sure how I feel about the all black Fred Perry kit, but if it produces these kinds of results, I suppose I'll deal.

Both of these guys are hot.  Both of them are smurfing the Adidas blue.  And both are prone to fits and starts.  One had an easy three set win and the other had to gut out a 5 setter. 

But I guess I just gave it away seeing as how if Marat were the one in the 5 setter we all know he would have lost.  Nice showing by the Captain who was businesslike in his 4 4 and 4 win over a French qualifier.  Gilles on the other hand needed 5 sets to outlast the America Rafa.  Nice win for Gilly and happy to see him feed off the home energy (as opposed to pulling a Momo and buckling under the pressure).

Not even a confuzzlingly large ice towel could cool down Sex on Fire.  He beat another Frenchman, Serra, 2 1 and 4.  And fellow Spaniards Daveed and Nico also made it through in straight sets.

Nice comeback win from Lleyton, who took advantage of a physically fading Ivo (who served a record breaking 55 aces in the match) to come back from two sets down.  I'm not sure I'll ever really understand Ivo's fitness issues.  I know he's a big guy and everything, BUT ALL YOU DO IS SERVE.  Like, his service games are so economical that I'm blown away he can get all that tired.  And it's not like he engages in ridiculously long rallies during his opponent's service games, either.  Go run some hills, Ivo.

Tennis Racquet. Violin. Same Diff.

If you haven't seen the not-so-fab pics of Gilly and Jo in French Men's Fitness, check out G's write up.

But doesn't that pic remind you of something? 

Something fabulous? 

Something so amazing? 

So moving?

So life-changing?

So...Norwegian:

Pic This: Claymates

Pics from around Roland Garros. 

Given the gross grip on that Prince racquet, I think we all know who that is.


What's up with the blue and yellow, Adidas?  Are those going to be the summer colors? 
Also?  Shorts and Ana just do not get along. 


Who the hell is Flashman?



Game faces.


All of a sudden I'm craving beef jerky.  Mmmm....


And chicken wings.  Shit, I really need to get out of bed and eat lunch.


Please tell me she's wearing go go boots too.


Is it just me or is A-Rod wearing a shirt that almost kinda fits him?


Hey Muzz!  Get to the semis and then lose to Rafa 60 60 60 in 48 minutes, k? 
That's the gameplan.  Break!


Dude!  Stop it!


Roger's planning a Surfin' Safari, apparently.
 

Does that tape on her shoulder *really* do anything? 
All it seems to do is scream "HEY LOOK!!! I HAVE A BAD SHOULDER!!!"


Ah.  The backwards cap of dorkitude makes a triumphant appearance.


Gilles x 2.  I know this is super random, but I have always found G Mulls to be kinda cute.


The BunBand is back, folks.  Dina means business. 
And she's practicing more "Ecstasy on Clay" moves.


You're hot.  We know.  Stop it.  Or don't.  I don't know.


Only Jo's smile could distract me from the dead raccoon on his head.


Run, cameraman.  Run.  It's like fuckin' Cloverfield.

The ATP: Death & Taxes

Of course, the headline would make sense if Gilles had rounded off the top 8 making the quarters, but given his form lately, unfortunately I can't say I'm surprised.  Has Lubey been tested for doping?  That's the only explanation for his recent form.  That or he read a good book or something.

 

Rafa and A-Rod benefitted from walkovers, with PEHK and Kolya withdrawing with left leg injuries.  Fed proved that no matter what, he still pwns Blah, Muzz and Fer had quality wins over solid dirtballers (something tells me Pico's going to be RG spoiler), and Elf had to mount a strong comeback to overcome Stanley the Manley.

Oh, and the Falcon just keeps on flying, y'all.

Singles - Third Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) W/O (left leg)
[2] R Federer (SUI) d [14] J Blake (USA) 62 64
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64
[4] A Murray (GBR) d [16] T Robredo (ESP) 75 61
[5] J Del Potro (ARG) d [11] S Wawrinka (SUI) 46 64 64
[6] A Roddick (USA) d [10] N Davydenko (RUS) W/O (left leg)
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [8] G Simon (FRA) 36 64 63
[7] F Verdasco [ESP] d [WC] J Monaco (ARG) 75 62

Doubles - Quarter-finals
J Del Potro (ARG) / M Fish (USA) d S Huss (AUS) / R Hutchins (GBR) 67(9) 62 10-4

Doubles - Second Round
[2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d [WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Ramirez Hidalgo (ESP) 63 67(7) 10-6
N Djokovic (SRB) / D Vemic (SRB) d [8] M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) 62 76(9)

Seriously, Dude. You Gotta Lock Your Shit Down.

Methinks I have a brilliant idea for Gilly for next year's Monte Carlo talent show...

The Great Boobed Owl survived a second set challenge from Kendrick to get through in straight sets.  He's the top seed in Estoril.  Scawy.

But the big news was Nalby crashing out to Capdeville, 2 and 2, and now the rumors are flying that he won't be fit for RG.  That hip isn't looking good. 

Singles - First Round
[1] [WC] G Simon (FRA) d R Kendrick (USA) 63 76(7)
P Capdeville (CHI) d [5] D Nalbandian (ARG) 62 62
[6] M Fish (USA) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 63 64
M Gicquel (FRA) d P Andujar (ESP) 76(6) 64
O Hernandez (ESP) d [WC] R Machado (POR) 75 16 75

Doubles - First Round
[3] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) d [Alt] P Capdeville (CHI) / I Navarro (ESP) 63 62

Sod Off!

 
Well this was one of the more delicious scorelines of the year.  Rafa demolishes The Evil One, 61 60. 

How hard did he have the beg the umpire to give him that one gain?  Methinks Mr. Umpire's going to be rocking some new Pradas on Saturday.  And yes, I have a huge stupid grin on my face as I type this.  I really do hate that Fucker.

Well alrightalrightalright.  So Gilly lost to a Matthew McConaughy's doppelganger in two listless sets.  Yeah, I'd make that face too. 

Singles - Third Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d R Soderling (SWE) 61 60
[2] R Federer (SUI) d [16] R Stepanek (CZE) 64 61
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d [13] T Robredo (ESP) 61 61
[5] J Del Potro (ARG) d [10] S Wawrinka (SUI) 62 67(5) 63
[6] F Verdasco (ESP) d R Gasquet (FRA) 75 64
[Q] M Zverev (GER) d [8] G Simon (FRA) 64 61
[12] F Gonzalez (CHI) d J Melzer (AUT) 36 63 75
[Q] J Monaco (ARG) d [15] M Cilic (CRO) 64 64

Doubles - Second Round
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) 64 63
[2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d J Blake (USA) / M Fish (USA) 63 46 10-6
[3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d I Karlovic (CRO) / D Vemic (SRB) 61 61
[4] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) d S Bolelli (ITA) / A Seppi (ITA) 76(5) 26 10-3
[5] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) d M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) 62 64
[6] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d J Benneteau (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) 75 63
[7] M Mirnyi (BLR) / A Ram (ISR) d [WC] D Bracciali (ITA) / P Starace (ITA) 75 63
[8] J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) d [WC] F Cipolla (ITA) / F Fognini (ITA) 61 75

Beaten, Broken, and Battered. But Tres Adorable.

Once again, my five years of German help me in no way whatsoever. Thanks to greenshopper for posting these over at TW. The Four Musketeers are pretty much the *only* think from France that I don't actively hate.

Air Quotes: Commodus Channels His Inner Russian

Q. Was this match, like you said yesterday, you had no reference points to be able to play on clay?
GILLES SIMON: Yes. I didn't have reference points. And on top of this, this match was completely rotten from the first to the last point. So it's not only the lack of reference points.

Q. What is it then?
GILLES SIMON: I don't know. I'm surprised myself. I felt at ease on this surface. I was moving well. But I don't remember ever playing so badly. Nothing was right. Nothing was working. My forehand, my backhand, my serve, nothing.

Q. Do you believe playing a qualifier first round coming back from the United States was a tricky match?
GILLES SIMON: No. On the contrary, I believe this was a good draw. It is always better to play a qualifier, although he won matches just before and he has his bearings.

Q. But you didn't know this one?
GILLES SIMON: Yes, I did. I played him a long time ago. I also saw several matches from him so I knew what he can do well. But I played so bad today that I couldn't have beaten anyone. In the beginning he made a couple of mistakes, but then he understood very soon that I would play a very short point or I would hit the ball out.

Q. When was the last time you played as badly as this?
GILLES SIMON: I believe this match is a record.

Q. Are you worried?
GILLES SIMON: I'm certainly not pleased with that match. But I'm not even worried. If I had lost playing sometimes good, sometimes bad, I would have thought it's strange.
But in this case, I didn't even have good moments. It went so bad that I think the result is normal.

Q. What bothered you in his game? He's a left hander? He was hitting the lines too often?
GILLES SIMON: Nothing special. I was concentrating on what I had to do, and he was putting some rhythm into the ball, which is good. He was serving well, but I was able to return. But I felt lost on the court. The third backhand I was hitting went into the net. The third forehand I was hitting, I was hitting the frame. I think I made 40 unforced errors and just 1 winner. What could I do?

Q. Four winners.
GILLES SIMON: But two aces (smiling).

Q. What is your schedule now?
GILLES SIMON: I need to take two or three days for treatment, then there is no secret: I need 10 days of intensive practice on clay in order to be able to slide better and to work on my fitness, because when the rally is very long, I lose my breath, so I need to get used to that type of effort again.

The dude gives good interview.  Makes me wonder about his other oral skills.

Ew!  I'm talking about debating!  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Sheesh.

He seems like he'd be a master debater.

No, I Am Not Entertained, Actually.

I blame the werewolf look.  What, is he auditioning for a role in New Moon?

Gilly and the Frenchies had a tough day at the office.  And we're not talking Jo and Reeshie, two players whose games may not suit clay.  We're talking the dirtball dogs, Gilles and Gael.  Gilles lost to Andreas Beck 75 61 (6-1? On clay?), and Gael was absolutely trounced by Janko, 63 61 (Really Gael? [Insert disapproving look here]).

So the other seed is out of Fed's quarter.  No wonder the dude looks so damn relaxed.

The Marat Is Intent On Making This Retirement Tour Reflect His Entire Career

As for the boys the match of the day was Monfils/Marat. 

I'm not really sure *how* Marat blew a 5-2 lead in the third set, but he did.  I'm not convinced La Monf even knows how he did it.  After being down and out and down two breaks, the match somehow landed in his lap. 

I blame the Magic Cap of Dorkitude.  Also, memo to Adidas: Maratski hasn't retired yet.  You might want to get him the new blue kit ASAP.  Russian Smurf needs to make an appearance immediately.

In other news, Wolverine, aka, the man who cannot be killed, somehow ropped the first set to Old Man Rainer 63, only to revive himself and issue double breadsticks the next two sets.  He lives to fight another day.  Also, nice wins for Big Byrd over Blah (and for serious, Blah could not have been more Blah (or is it Blahier?) in that boring as match), and Taylor Dent continued his comeback efforts with a win over a tough but probably still injured Disco.

[2] R Federer (SUI) d [28] N Kiefer (GER) 64 61
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d [31] P Mathieu (FRA) 64 61
[5] A Roddick (USA) d [25] D Tursunov (RUS) 76(9) 62
[7] G Simon (FRA) d [29] R Schuettler (GER) 36 61 61
[9] G Monfils (FRA) d [22] M Safin (RUS) 57 75 76(3) - saved 2 M.P.
[10] J Tsonga (FRA) d [Q] R Kendrick (USA) 75 64
[21] T Berdych (CZE) d [13] J Blake (USA) 64 67(3) 63
[Q] T Dent (USA) d [15] T Robredo (ESP) 75 63

Pic This: More From Saturday @ IW

Daveed.

Some dude.

Dani

Dima yukking it up on the practice field with Viktor.

Daveed and Chucho taking a breather.

Rod Laver explaining to Bud Collins what Roger has to do to beat Rafa (seriously).

She actually looks like she knows what she's doing in this pic.

Gilly and the beautiful surroundings.  And smog.  But let's focus on the positive here.

Rafa at night.  Dude was MOBBED.

Sania does not look convinced by Sven's advice.  She would lose serve in the very next game and stare angrily at Sven. 

(Pics for Forty Deuce by C Note and Love All)

Pic This: Do It. Soak In The Pretty.

Love All has a fancy camera.  And for those who have heard the podcast, you know about her lurking skills.  So between the both of us, we got a nice little library of EXCLUSIVE FORTY DEUCE pics.  Here's just a taste (sorry, gotta run and eat breakfast):












This last one is dedicated to C1.  Truce?

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All and C Note)

Saturday TV Funhouse

More videos from Saturday



Gilly crossing the field. Ana cackling REALLY loudly.


I think you know this guy.

Pic This: More Like The GAYTP

I know those chicken legs anywhere.

(Thanks to Carli for sending along)

An Unfortunate Baptism

It's just a different beast.  Everyone says it but unless you play Davis Cup I guess it's hard to really know what everyone's talking about.


Unfortunately, Gilly had to learn it the hard way this weekend. 


I really hope this doesn't affect him mentally going forward.  We've seen that happen far too many times (bad DC performances carrying forward).  I don't think I've ever seen him so despondent.


Poor, Boo.  Please don't lose before I get down to Indian Wells.

Big Byrd Takes Out Wolverine

Poor Gilly.  I was worried about him after hearing the interview with him yesterday when he seemingly didn't seem all that concerned about the difference between Davis Cup and any other tennis match you'll ever play.  Methinks the rookie just wasn't prepared for what he was about to walk into, especially on a hostile court.
 
Ain't no shame in losing to Big Byrd, though.  It was a tight match that took almost 3 and a half hours before Byrdy prevailed, 76(3) 46 76(2) 63.

 
Of course, this put a lot of pressure on Jo, who had to face the red hot (play-wise) Worm.  Thankfully Jo kept his cool and played solidly, beating Steps, 75 62 76(1).  Afterwards, Jo kept it teamy:

“Today I felt great, I’ve been playing very well in the past few weeks, it was good to win for the team and for Gilles Simon. I know what it’s like to play a first Davis Cup match and I wanted to give him a second chance."

Awww.

In Their Own Words

The other thing I love about Davis Cup and Fed Cup: The audio interviews

• Gilly

• Jo

• The Marat

• Nole

• Janko

• Rafa

You can find more here.

Pic This: Ack! A BAD Picture of Gilly?

"A Musketeer loves women, and he loves them by taking them in his arms."

How could I forget about Team France?  They're preparing for their tie against the Czech Republic.  If it weren't for Serbia/Spain, this would be the tie of the weekend.  Because who knows what you're gonna get?  Which Big Byrd will show up?  Which Radek?  Can Jo and Gilles carry the French?  Will Reeshie and Gael have to step in?  Who knows?
What I do know is that I'd rather look at the Frenchies than the Czechies. 


So yeah, I'm gonna soak this in...

 





 

Pic This: Head + Gilly + Same Sentence = WIN

Head ad thanking Commodus for a fabulous 2008.

Love that they have no problem putting those chicken legs on full display.

Hey Look! A Post Not About Roger In Any Way Shape Or Form!

God.  Recently it seems like every picture of this kid just makes me sad irrespective of whether he's winning or losing.  They remind me of Sveta's quote after her loss to Dina at RG 08, "I could not put up much of a fight with her today because first I had to fight myself and that's as far as I can go."  Or something like that.  I just see a guy who just has no idea what's going on right now and is fighting against himself to get through.

Luckily he did today, beating Tuxedo 63 64.  Quite a nice win for him over a very solid opponent. 

And the hot teacher/student French-on-French action ended the way that it should, with Gilly winning in straight sets and looking might good doing it.  I seriously want to lick his neck in that pic.  Nom nom.

Nole and Gilles will face each other tomorrow.

[1] N Djokovic (SRB) d [5] M Cilic (CRO) 63 64
R Gasquet (FRA) d [2] A Murray (GBR) W/O (virus)
[3] G Simon (FRA) d F Santoro (FRA) 76(3) 61
[4] D Ferrer (ESP) d [6] I Andreev (RUS) 75 61

Rafa On Hard Courts. Always An Adventure

 
Well helllooooooooo, nurse.

Grigor Dimitrov, a teenage wild card cutie from Bulgaria, pushed Rafa to three sets and really impressed until he started to run out of steam and start cramping.  Apparently Grigor is part of the Adidas Player Development Program.  At least, I assume so because Sven was watching him in Rotterdam.

Nice that he put on a good show.  Even nicer that Rafa was able to pull it out.  From all reports it sounds like Rafa's not keeping the best form in Rotterdam.  I still think he'll make it to the finals though.  The boy just doesn't quit.

No no no, Mario.  The cape goes on your back.  No...like, you tie it...oh nevermind.

Super Mario made a rare appearance today, upsetting #4 seed Gilly in three sets, 64 36 63.  It's ok, Gilly.  You're still fun to look at, especially with your new bed head look.  Cat sound.

Here are the rest of your scores:
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d [WC] G Dimitrov (BUL) 75 36 62
[2] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 76(4) 75
M Ancic (CRO) d [4] G Simon (FRA) 64 36 63
[5] G Monfils (FRA) d M Llodra (FRA) 64 64
[7]J Tsonga (FRA) d D Tursunov (RUS) 76(6) 62
[LL] M Gicquel (FRA) d P Mathieu (FRA) 64 63

Well That Was Some Unnecessary Drama.

Yeesh.  I'm glad I was too busy at work to pay attention to the livescores.  I might have had a bit of a fit.  Rafa was pushed to three sets by Goth Bols, eventually winning, 46 62 75.  I can't stand all these indoor pictures.  After being spoiled by all the great shadows and light from AO, this just looks so bush league.  Oh well.

In other drama, Daveed couldn't keep is semi-strong run going, losing to Misha, 62 36 62.  I wish I knew what was up with that kid.  He had a nice win over Baggy last week in Johannesburg.  It would have been nice to see him follow it up.

 
Meanwhile, the Frenchies roll on, as Jo and Gilly notched tough straight set wins.  This winning is getting contagious as even their non-Muskateer countrymen are catching on, with Marc Gicquel and Michael Llodra both winning three setters over Koralev and Dr. Ivo, respectively.

Here are your scores (Kolya and Apricot Bars are still playing):

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d S Bolelli (ITA) 46 62 75
[4] G Simon (FRA) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 75 76(1)
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) d [WC] J Huta Galung (NED) 76(4) 76(4)
M Ancic (CRO) d R Schuettler (GER) 75 62
M Llodra (FRA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 46 63 64
[LL] M Gicquel (FRA) d [Q] E Korolev (RUS) 36 63 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [6] D Ferrer (ESP) 62 36 62
 

GOD. Are You Serious?

How is he NOT the most famous tennis player of all time?  HOW?!?

Also?  WHY DID I TAKE GERMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE?!?!?