Forty Deuce

You Didn't Think I'd Skip This, Did You?

Before she beat Sam for the title, Flavia notched herself a nice little win over some chick named Maria Sharapova.  Heard of her?

Um, this point was quickly followed by Victoria, Katie, Tracy, and I falling out of our seats laughing.

Ok, I'm not proud of it but I was rooting for Maria throughout the match (much to Victoria's vicodined-high annoyance).  On some really dark level I kind of want Maria to win a title before Ana does this year.  I don't know why that is and I'm sure I'll be vilified for it.  But it's something I want.  Deal with it.

But Flavia was surgical in how she dismantled Maria.  Hell, she was surgical in how she dismantled the entire Russian Federation this week.  Her match against Bepa was a lot of fun and really high quality.  Great hitting and veteran point construction.  She played so well in fact, that Bepa got...how do you say...frustrated:

Funny moment early in the match: Lynn Welch called time, Flavia walked out, and Bepa continued to sit in her chair for a good 30 seconds.  Finally Lynn called out to her.  Bepa hadn't heard her say time, so she kind of shrugged and hurriedly ran out to the court.  Lynn just had this look of "Oh, Bepa *headlock noogie*".  It was good for some LOLz.

Flavia Is Not Just Awesome At Life. She Is Also Awesome At Tennis.

A year after making the finals of LA and losing to Dina, Flavia came through a tough draw (beating Nads, Bepa, and Masha) to take it to Sammy Stones and win the biggest title of her career, 64 63.

It was a really impressive display by Flavia, the third straight impressive match I'd seen from her.  The match came down to two things: Flavia's decision to break down Sam's backhand (which worked) and Sam's inability to serve well (she was outaced. By Flavia Pennetta.  Think about that.)  Flavi (yes, she calls herself "Flavi") played within herself and was totally contained. 

I went into the match thinking that I was going to root for Flavs.  But as the match started I really started pulling for Sam, partly because I wanted three sets, and partly because, having watched her play a bunch this weekend, I just REALLY love watching her play tennis.  As Victoria and I were discussing, Sam plays like a guy, and I mean that as a total compliment.  Big serve, big forehand, good volley.  You don't really get the sense of how big her serve and forehand are on TV.  Those things are Rafa-like in the way that they kick up from the court.  Unfortunately for Sam, Flavs totally negated both weapons, hitting consistently to her backhand, and then Sam couldn't execute her serve.  Tough loss for Sam.  This was a really good opportunity for her to notch her first WTA singles title.

So congratulations to both of them for a solid tournament.  But for now, Flavia is the Queen of Awesome.  If there's a lifesize cutout of her next year, I'm going for it.

On Guts Alone

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Or something to that effect.

How ridiculous is it that this match was nowhere to be found on TV or streams?  Maria battled back after dropping a very tight first set to beat #3 seed Vicky, 6-7 (4), 6-4, 6-2.  Vicks Vaporub said after the match that she was rusty from not playing since SW19.  Probably true.  But Masha showed again why she's awesome: She can gut out matches like this where she's playing like crap and simply beat you on will alone.  You go, girl.

In early action, Ana has taken back her Adilibria gear and Dina is once again back to her asexual Competition kit.  And her hand is all taped up, which is odd. 

But she beat a taped up Dani pretty easily 62 64.

Love Flavia's new Sergio kit.  Also love that she's winning.  She beat Coco Vandeweghe 2 and 4.

Singles - Second Round
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 62 64
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (3) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) 67(4) 64 62
(5) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. Shahar Peer (ISR) 64 26 63
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. (7) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 64 67(6) 64
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 62 61
(10) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (WC) Coco Vandeweghe (USA) 62 64
(12) Li Na (CHN) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 46 64 62
(13) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 62 64
(14) Zheng Jie (CHN) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 64 46 60
(17) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 61 64
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 57 64 75
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 36 61
Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (Q) Jill Craybas (USA) 76(2) 61

Doubles - First Round
(1) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. Ruano Pascual/Zheng (ESP/CHN) 64 64
King/Niculescu (USA/ROU) d. (3) Pennetta/Raymond (ITA/USA) 75 63
(4) Hsieh/Peng (TPE/CHN) d. Poutchek/Savchuk (BLR/UKR) 62 63
Kirilenko/A.Radwanska (RUS/POL) d. Kudryavtseva/Rodionova (RUS/RUS) 62 46 104

All You Need To Know

She is Italian.  She is bad ass.  She is Flavia Pennetta.


And she is the 2009 Palermo champion, dusting Sara Errani, 2 and 1. 

This is Flavs' 7th title, and 6th on clay. Forza Flavia!

Here, Caro, Have Another Trophy

Doubles partners Flavs and Olivia both bit the dust today, setting up the much anticipated showdown between Boots and...Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez.  So there's that.

Singles - Semifinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 63 46 62
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 75 64

Doubles - Semifinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Kondratieva/Lefèvre (RUS/FRA) 64 62
(2) Dulko/Pennetta (ARG/ITA) d. Domachowska/Grandin (POL/RSA) 62 64

 

No One, and I Mean NO ONE Beats Flavs Wearing a Sweatshirt. Fact.

Who do you think you are?  Bepa?  Step up your game, Alla.

So Bastad is working out to be a pretty fun tournament.  Flavia, Patty, Caro, and Dulko are through, which, given the WTA's "pleasant unpredictability", must give the Bastad tourney organizers some relief.

In the Battle For Middle Earth, wherein Middle Earth is the super cute flowy fashion designs of one Ms. Stella McCartney (who, incidentally, is going to design a line for GapKids), Boots came out on top.  And no, that's not a sex reference, Pspace.

 
And in the "Shit, I don't know who I'm rooting for here" match of the day, Olivia gutted out a tight three setter over #2 seed Domi.  I still refuse to believe she's for real.

And the headscratcher result of the day?  Sheldon (TM Victoria) gets bageled on her way to losing to Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater.  Bageled?  On clay?  Really, Sheldon?

Here are the rest of the scores:
Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 75 76(4)
Gisela Dulko (ARG) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 67(5) 63 76(6)
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 64 62
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. (7) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP)
46 63 60

Doubles - Quarterfinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Schiavone/Suárez Navarro (ITA/ESP) 76(3) 62
Kondratieva/Lefèvre (RUS/FRA) d. (4) Cirstea/Wozniacki (ROU/DEN) 46 64 108

Bastad: Tuesday OOP

Flavs vs. The Boss?  Yes please and make it a double.

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Pennetta vs. Schiavone
2. Roma vs. Cibulkova
3. Wozniacki vs. Arvidsson
4. Zec Peskiric vs. Johansson

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Buryachok vs. Kirilenko
2. Palkina vs. Allgurin
3. Kvitova vs. Vakulenko
4. Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez vs. Laine/U.Radwanska

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Llagostera Vives vs. Morita
2. Martínez Sánchez vs. Kanepi
3. Jensen/Larsson vs. Craybas/Kudryavtseva

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Krauth/Nooni vs. Kondratieva/Lefèvre
2. Zahlavova Strycova vs. Kerber

Pic This: "You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, And Gosh Darn It, People Like You."

Aw, how sweet. 

But I've read Revelations.  God may love you if you lose, Andy, but the apocalypse will come.  No pressure!

Boom Boom in da hizz.  Kind of a surreal shot there.


Boo.  You lost.  How dare you.


Yeah, I made the same face when I found out too.  Everyone loves Gonzo.


This just looked like a picture I should post.  But I honestly have nothing witty to say about it.

Convo during the Muzz/Viktor match:

Cousin: Diadora makes tennis clothes?
Me: Apparently.
Cousin: Does Kappa make tennis clothes?
Me: How awesome would it be if someone was sponsored by Umbro?

Ok, it was a much funnier conversation than it seems.  Take my word for it.  That Umbro line is GOLD.

Oh, Flavs.  We still love you.

Dinara: "So...should we cancel the surprise party?"
Nads: "NAAAAAHHHH."

Oh, Tomas.  Don't ever change.

Awesome Is In The Building

Yeah, baby.  The Flavs is in full effect.  Didn't get dumped out in the first round, coming back from a set down to 'stick and bagel NLV.

Let us celebrate!  Flying Birds for all!

And of course, the Momes.  Another one I like to see on grass.

Blink And You'll Miss Them

They came, they saw, they said "Nah...I'm over this."

Too bad.  Makiri's white and purple Stella number looks, as always, rad.  And what's up with Chakky's overheatedness?  Did the pink skirt bring out the color in her face?

Love ya, Bethanie.  But is that skirt made of basketball short material?  Just checking.

Oh, Flavs.  Sadness.  More sad?  The fact that Sergio Tachnini NEVER gives you anything fun or cool to wear.  Would it kill them to migrate away from the navy blue pallette?

Pic This: Rome If You Want To

It's just so damn poetic.  You can't make this shit up.

  
So.  Close.


What the what was going on Vika's quarterfinal match? 
All I have are pictures of her with her ass on the clay. Not that I'm complaining.

 
Does anyone really know where JJ's game currently ranks relative to the other ladies? 
I'm finding it really hard to handicap her chances at RG. 

Also?  With as much hairspray as you use on that ponytail,
I really don't think you should be noshing on it, honey.


LOLZ.

Get a sponsor, Agi.


Come on, ladies.  Get it together for RG.  Stop being retarded in third sets.


The Cone won!  And then she lost.


Not sure I'll ever get sick of Dina's "Ecstasy on Clay" modern art piece.

 
So.  Close.

Flava Flav!

That's one.

I'm counting on Flavia to use her Fed Cup inspiration to take some scalps during the clay season.  She kicked off her campaign today, holding her nerve (and her serve) to come back and take out JJ in three, 2-6, 6-4, 6-4. 

And get this:  SHE SERVED IT OUT.

Suck on that, WTA, haters!

As for the other semifinalists, Dina took care of Agi in straights (with both girls holding serve for the first SEVEN games), and Lena and Kuz also make it through, beating Mono and Dulko, respectively.

So Dina vs. Flavs and Lena vs Kuz tomorrow.  Fun!

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. (8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 64 62
(2) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. Marion Bartoli (FRA) 62 46 63
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (3) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 26 64 64
(5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 62

Doubles - Quarterfinals
Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) d. (1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) 75 46 107

Fed Cup Foto Fun

Sigh.  I'm really sad that I was too drunk and hungover to enjoy this round of Fed Cup in any meaningful way.  I guess I'll just have to piece it all together CSI style:

  
I love how JJ gets away with this shit.  Classic.


"Pop the corks, boys.  Mama's thirsty!"


Sigh.  Oh, Chakky.


"It's the one that says 'BADASS MUTHAFUCKA', motherfucker!"

 
"Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry."


Heeeeeeeeere's Kimmy!

(Also, I'm pretty sure there's a gyno joke I could make but seriously,
I'm not firing on all cylinders quite yet.)

 
Rad!


"Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!"


It takes a pretty dress and a million dollar smile, too.


Huh?  What's Bepa doing here?


All that's missing is a can of Fosters.


Liezel rocks her O face.


Heh.  Heh heh.  The world is changing, indeed.
 

Acne, cold sores, and manhands.  I don't think you're ready for this jelly, World Group.

Upset Sunday

How weird is it that I kinda feel bad for Russia?

Congrats to Team Italy for securing a spot in the finals by defeating the defending champions 4-1. 

Boss Lady Schiavone and Flava Flav took care of business yesterday, beating Sveta (16 62 62) and Chakky (64 60), respectively. 

Russia responded today though, as Kuz destroyed Flavs (60 63), which set up a crucial rubber between The Boss and Chevy Nova.  The match went the distance and for a while there, Tarpy was once again looking like a genius.  But despite Pavs having two set points in the first, Boss Lady was able to weather the storm and secure the tie for Italy, 76 46 62.

So it'll be Italy vs. the wily Americans, who pulled out the shocker of the weekend.  It wasn't just that they beat the Czech Republic. It was the *way* they did it, on the back of 19 year old Alexa Glatch, and a spectacular comeback by Liezel and Bethanie from match point down in the doubles rubber.  A true team effort which starts at the top with Captain MJ's leadership. 

I was scratching my head on Friday when MJ tapped Glatch over Oudin for the tie.  Clearly I've been drinking the Zina Kool-Aid and I should know better than to quetion El Capitan.  Glatch, ranked #114, took out both Iveta (#29) and Kvitova (#48) in straight sets, dropping only 6 games in the process.  Impressive stuff considering it was her first Fed Cup and it was an away tie with a boisterous Czech crowd. 


With Bethanie dropping the two singles rubbers, it was time for bit of redemption.  With the tie going to the decisive doubles rubber the Czechs quickly found themselves with a 6-2 5-2, match point.  But then the wheels came off after Peschke sailed a second serve return long, and Bethanie and Liezel found their form, coming back to take the second set in a tiebreaker and reeling off a 6-1 final set for the win.

And yes, Liezel showed off her awesome dorkitude throughout the match.  Fun stuff.

So Italy vs. U.S. in Italy on what I presume will be clay.  Yeah, good luck with that, MJ.

I Don't Know, Russia. I'm Not Feeling It.

Italy's got their game faces on. 

And never underestimate what Tranny can do during Fed Cup.  Or Flavs for that matter. 

As for the Russians, they come in a bit battered and shell-shocked:

Into the second singles berth steps the 22nd- ranked Anna Chakvetadze who has registered only four wins to her name this year, four less than Nadia Petrova who can count herself unlucky to be watching from the bench.

Winners of 15 of their last 16 ties, Russia will look to Svetlana Kuznetsova to provide a backbone for success. Kuznetsova is now coachless after her split last month from Olga Morozova but is enjoying a Fed Cup run of eight straight singles wins. She admits though that preparations this week have not been perfect: “We have not managed to practise indoors, only outdoors, and not as much as we should have because of the conditions but we are looking forward to the weekend.”

Chakky only has 4 wins this year?  Ugh.

Saturday
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)

Sunday
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
Sara Errani /Roberta Vinci (ITA) v Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova/Nadia Petrova (RUS)

Draw day interviews with Chakky, Sveta, Flavs, Tranny, and Nads and Chevy.

Vezzie Rebounds, Oudin Bagels, and Flavs Has Lost Her Flavor

 

If there was a pic of Flavia I would put it up but as it is it might be more appropriate anyways.  What's up with my favorite Italian Bird Thrower?  Such a strong end of 2008 and then she's barely left the ground in 2009.  Here's a list of her results so far:

• Hobart -- l to Rybarikova
• AO -- l to AMG
• Fed Cup -- win over Cornet and Momes
• Bogota -- l to Zec Peskiric
• Acapulco -- makes the final and loses to Venus 1 and 2 (on clay!)
• Monterey -- l to Zhalavova Strychova
• IW -- l to Ana
• Miami -- l to Momes
• Barcelona -- l to Vinci

Rybarikova?  AMG on hard court? Zec Peskiric? Strychova?  Vinci?  Really? 

Luckily Flavs' loss was the only horrific news of the day, though if you're Aranxta Sanchez Vicario you're a little pissed that your tournament has lost its top two seeds in the first round.  Makiri, the defending champion at Barcelona, is quietly making her way through the draw, which is good to see.

Back on home soil Sania tempted us with an upset, only to have the door slammed in her face by Venus, who won in three.  In the two big upsets of the day, Vezie took out Peppermint Patty in three, and Fed Cup hero Melanie Oudin dished out a bagel to a tired CanWoz.

Charleston:

(2) Venus Williams (USA) d. Sania Mirza (IND) 61 36 62
(5) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 63 63
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (8) Patty Schnyder (SUI) 62 67(5) 75
(Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) d. (9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 75 60
(10) Peng Shuai (CHN) d. Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) 75 26 75
Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) d. (11) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 64 75
Anastasia Rodionova (RUS) d. (12) Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) 62 64
(13) Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. Stephanie Dubois (CAN) 63 76(3)
(16) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (Q) Lenka Wienerova (SVK) 64 63
Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Vania King (USA) 64 62
Varvara Lepchenko (USA) d. (Q) Shenay Perry (USA) 62 63

Barcelona:

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (2/WC) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62
(6) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Severine Bremond (FRA) 75 62
Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d. (LL) Masa Zec Peskiric (SLO) 75 57 62
(Q) Anastasiya Yakimova (BLR) d. Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 36 63 60

Augh. I Need To Take A Shower.

A Fed Cup interview with Flava Flavs.

What gives this video its classy casting couch quality?

    A)  The interviewer's creepy laugh from behind the camera;
    B)   Flavia's clearly uncomfortable but pretending to be charming;
    C)  The mention of "tricks";
    D)  The fact that Flavia looks like she just freshened up in the shower;
    E)  ALL OF THE ABOVE

More From Around The Grounds

Here's the thing.  If you were to ask me what my favorite matches were this past week it would actually take some time to even recall what matches I attended.  For me, the tournaments aren't really about the tennis that's played in stadium court (though, the Simon/Lu and Rafa/Nalby matches were rad).  I can and do watch tennis matches all the time.  The real action is around the practice courts and near the player areas. 

A rare smile from Nalby on the practice courts.

Old Man Fed holding his back.  THAT must be why he lost to Murray.

Shirtless Viktor.

Sam and his Querrey Hand under the watchful eye of Jose Higueras.

The only thing we liked about Vika: Her shoes.

Flavia Stink Eye is the best.

LaMonf playing some footie.

Sveta on her way to practice.  She stuck around for a few days after she lost.  Good.  She needed the work.  Unfortunately her practices were not great.

Aww...puppy.

Creepy tennis paparazzi.  I think this is after Ana apologized to Victoria for not being able to stop for an autograph. "No, sorry."  Adorbs.

For *this* you don't put a towel over your face?  

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All and C Note)

The Last 4 Seconds Of This Video PWN

Yes, I love that these two get along, so well that they're joking before their match. But seriously, the end had me in stitches.

Pic This: Work It, Flavia

(Pic for Forty Deuce by Love All)

Pretty FTW!

Just took the first set. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Augh.

I don't know what to do. Winner plays winner of Ana/Dulko. Flavs down a set and a break. Not particularly happy with herself. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Venus vs. Flavs. Thy Will Be Done.

Waiting for my delayed flight at SFO so I might as well catch up on the tennis news.

So it looks like the tennis gods are smiling down on us and granting us the Venus vs. Flavia final on clay.  Should be a fun one seeing as how the last time they met Flavs bounced the big Vee in the shadows of the Paris night. 

PS -- the Asian dude inexlicably sitting next to me (seriously, there are 20 other open seats in the terminal) smells like chocolate.  And not in a good way.  Knowing my luck he'll sit next to me on the plane.  Boo face.

Gerta Raauuuusssss....

Not really, but it's close and I always say that when I see Greta Arn's name.  Imagine my shock when I saw that she pushed Venus to three pretty tough sets in Acapulco.  Of course, no result with Venus would really be shocking here.  She's in great form but this is clay. 

Speaking of shocking results on clay, CSN got bounced as did Gisela.  But we're still on track for Venus/Flavs final.  Keep it together girls and give the people what they want!

Oh, and Agnes has now won TWO STRAIGHT main draw matches.  Her reward?  Venus.

(1) Venus Williams (USA) d. (Q) Greta Arn (HUN) 63 67(3) 64
(2) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Pauline Parmentier (FRA) 61 63
Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d. (3) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 64 75
(4) Iveta Benesova (CZE) d. Klara Zakopalova (CZE) 46 64 76(3)
Maret Ani (EST) d. (5) Gisela Dulko (ARG) 76(6) 63
Petra Cetkovska (CZE) d. (8) María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) 36 64 61
(LL) Agnes Szavay (HUN) d. Roberta Vinci (ITA) 76(1) 64

Men's and Women's OOP:

Center Court (from 13.00hrs)
1. ATP: Koellerer vs. Vassallo Arguello
2. ATP: Almagro vs. Gimeno-Traver
3. ATP: Acasuso vs. Robredo
4. V.Williams vs. Szavay
5. ATP: Mayer vs. Monfils (NB 21.00hrs)

Cancha 2 (from 15.00hrs)
1. Johansson vs. Benesova
2. Cetkovska vs. Parmentier

Cancha 3 (from 15.00hrs)
1. Zahlavova Strycova vs. Ani

Blame Gisela. And the Aguardiente.

From Flavia's blog in Bogota:

I'm heading out to dinner with my coach, Gisela and her brother again. We may go out tonight but we're not sure where, but of course I won't be out too late as I'm playing my first singles match tomorrow!

Flavs lost her first round match to Masa Zec Peskiric 63 46 76(4).

What ISN'T An Obsene Gesture When France Plays Italy?

Drama in the France/Italy match:

Former world number one Amelie Mauresmo was furious with Flavia Pennetta after her Italian rival appeared to insult the umpire along the way to a Fed Cup opening-day success on Saturday.

Pennetta won a knife-edge encounter 2-6, 7-6 (9/7), 6-4 in Orleans, northern France, to give the visitors a 1-0 lead in their Fed Cup World Group One tie.

But Mauresmo said she felt Pennetta should have been kicked out after appearing to insult the chair after a shot she thought was good was ruled out in the crucial second set tiebreak.

"At that moment, I didn't really see and cotton on," said Mauresmo, who indicated that when she did look up Pennetta appeared to have mouthed an insult at the chair, flicking her middle finger for good measure.

"She gave the finger - she should have been removed right away," insisted former Wimbledon and Australian Open champion Mauresmo.

The point gave the Frenchwoman a match point but in the hullabaloo she served up a double fault and then slumped to defeat.

Pennetta, who did receive a warning for her conduct, said she was sorry afterwards.

"I am not pleased with myself but that's the first time such a thing has happened to me - it was a gruelling match from the start and I lost control as I really thought the ball was in," said the Italian.

French skipper Nicolas Escude was angry that the Italian was not handed a stiffer penalty.

"It's amazing. When (former French footballer Zinedine) Zidane loses it he gets sent off. Great, everything's possible. Magnificent, you can do as you like," Escude said in allusion to Pennetta.

Phew!

Serbia 2, Japan 0

It was a little touch and go there and Ana's still serving like crap, but she somehow came away with a 64 64 win over Ai to kick off Team Serbia's 2009 campaign to get into World Group I.  JJ had a much easier go, beating Morumi 61 60.  So Serbia is 2-0 and they'll kick off the reverse singles with JJ/Ai (rematch of AO) and then, if necessary, Ana/Morumi.  At this point it wouldn't surprise me if Ana took the match just for the court time.  Let's also hope that the girls stick it out for doubles in front of the home crowd.

Italy 2, France 0

The drama tie so far has to be Italy/France.  Even though Italy has a 2-0 lead, it didn't come easily.  Flavia came back from a set down to beat Momo 26 76(7) 64.  Great win for Flavs.  Maybe this will kick start her season.  But sad face for Momo.  She really should have taken this in straights.

You know there's drama whenever The Cone is involved.  It's like horseshoes and hand grenades.  She lost to Tranny, 61 26 86 in match that lasted over two hours.

Slovak Republic 2, Belgium 0

 
SuperGirl returned and took her match in straights over Wickmayer, 76(2) 63.  And Domi took out The Flipper, 76(4) 61.  Looks like they're well on their way in advancing to play the winner of Germany/Switzerland. Dur.  Nevermind.

Russia 2, China 0

Duh.

Germany 1, Switzerland 1

The two split Day 1 but Day 2 should be the interesting one.  Lisicki will play Patty and ALG will play Timea.  You have to think ALG has the game to beat Timea easily, which means the Swiss hopes are all on Patty to beat Sabine.  That should be a fun match, actually.

As a side note, can someone tell Sabine that she's not a figure skater, nor is she a teenage aspiring fashion designer brat kid sister in Manhattan either.  Lay.  Off.  The Eye Makeup.

Czech Republic 1, Spain 1

Petra Kvitova had a nice win over CSN, holding off a late comeback charge, 64 64.  But perrenial midriff flaunter Iveta couldn't keep her lead, eventually losing to Llagostera Vives 16 61 64.  Still, you have to think Spain has this one given their doubles prowess.

Ukraine 1, Israel 1

Shahar Peer is one of those players that always scares me in Fed Cup.  Like she kicks it into a whole different gear when you slap that flag on her back.  Must be the military training.  Anyway, she kept Israel in the hunt by beating K Bond 63 67(6) 63.  The winner of this tie will play Serbia (if Serbia wins).

No More Drama

And on the fourth day, order was restored.  Lena, Flavs, Cone, Domi, and Kuz all got through with no problems.

Lena and Flavs won 4 and 1, Domi dished out a bagel winning 0 and 2, and Kuz finally cruised, taking her match 2 and 2.  I know upsets are fun and all, but if you look at the full draw, all you want are the favorites to play well and keep the draw in order. 

Zheng Jie had to fight through three sets but she took her match over Czink 76 57 63.  What a great tourney for Asia with Randy Lu's upset over Nalby and now Zheng and Peng into round 3.

And it was Alize's 19th birthday today.  But of course, because she's French, she couldn't just leave well enough alone

So not hot.

 

Forza Italia

That just about sums it, yeah.

This was a true team effort by Italy.  After Alize took care of Flavia with surprising ease, it looked like France had this in the bag. 

But Goth Bols came out blazing and Gilly was curiously flat.  Bols would take the rubber and the tie would turn on the mixed doubles match.

The hero?  Flava Flav.  The girl just owns in mixed doubles.  She's the highest ranked doubles player in the tournament and she totally knows what she's doing.  Everyone knows the key to winning mixed is the strength of the women.  Well Flav got picked on my Marat on Saturday and she won that fight.  And she got picked on again tonight and she stood firm.  Good for her. 

 

Hopman Cup Update

Flava Flav and Goth Bols will be teaming up for The Hopman Cup in January.  They'll join The Cone and Commodus, Fosters Dellaqua and Lleyton, Dinara and Marat, Lisicki and Colin Farrell Kiefer, and Hrbaty and Domi.  One more team will be announced at the draw on October 28, and it's expected to be from the US.  The last spot will go to the winner of the Asian Hopman Cup, which will take place in Khazakstan in early November.

What, no representation from England, Argentina, Switzerland, Spain, and Serbia?  Bummer.

Flava Flav vs. Baby E: One Fistpump To Rule Us All

This is clearly the marquee matchup in Linz tomorrow, as both Ana and Flavs won their matches in straight sets.  Flavs dispatched of Domi pretty quickly, 63 61, and Ana struggled a little in the first set of her match against Bammer, but pulled it all together for a very solid 64 62 win.  A loss to Flavs wouldn't shock me, but a win would so so so encouraging.

It would have been a perfect day for the seeds but Peppermint Patty was upset by A-Bond in three sets.  So tomorrow's quarterfinal lineup (and order of play) is as follows:

1. A.Radwanska vs. Petrova
2. Cornet vs. Zvonareva
3. Ivanovic vs. Pennetta
4. Bartoli vs. A.Bondarenko

First match starts at 14.00 local time.

Trophy Hoister Sunday: Muzzah and Venus

After a day of semifinal upsets, all was right in the WTA/ATP world.  Venus avenged her 3 match skid against Flava Flav, beating her 76(1) 62.  This is Venus' first WTA title of the year.

Guess what, Venus?  You get a puppy!

This win puts Venus in great position to get that last YEC spot. 

And in the Battle of the Birds (Baby Owl vs. The Muzzard) Andy came out on top, though it looked for a second there like Commodus was going to stage yet another comeback.  But Andy held him off to win 64 76(6) for his second Masters shield of the year and further cementing him as a solid #4 and challenger to the Rafa/Fed monopoly.

Your reward?  An opportunity to be a completely awkward doofus around pretty girls with boobies:

Which obviously led to this:

Hah.

But before we leave Zurich and Madrid, can we just give a shout out to our runner-ups, Flava Flav and Commodus? 

Flavs who ended JJ's win streak and stormed on to the finals.

And Gilly, the comeback kid, who scratched and clawed his way to the final, beating Rafa along the way.  Those are two awesome feel-good stories.

Dogs, Their Pants, and the Inability To Keep Stuff Inside Them.

A really nice profile of Flava Flav over at TennisReporters.net. 

But of course it's never a complete profile unless you can get some juicy tidbits about Flav's breakup with Chuck the Douchebag Moya:

With her smiling girlish face, she is popular with crowds, particularly so in Switzerland where she is as close to a home player as the host nation of the Zurich Open can get. She lists her residence as Verbier, an Alpine resort in the southern Alps, where she has an apartment. It’s a remnant from her three-year liaison with Carlos Moya which ended last year. “He was living in Geneva, so we thought we’d take a place in the mountains, just to enjoy it a bit more. Verbier is a very nice place, we went there once and it was very relaxing. I always go after Roland Garros and Wimbledon because no-one is there in that period.”

Though still raw from the way her relationship ended – she paid Moya what was supposed to be a welcome surprise visit when he was playing the tournament in Båstad in July 2007, only to find him with another woman – she has kept on the apartment and hopes it will one day be an ideal springboard for learning to ski. But for now she is concentrating on her tennis – to increasingly impressive effect.

Message to dudes: We're not as fragile as you think we are.  Just say "I don't want to be with you anymore" and then go diddle whatever the heck you want.  Order of Operations, people.  It's important in math and it's important in life.

Memo to Venus: Flava Flav Has Your Number.

This was supposed to be revenge week for Venus, with opportunities to avenge her recent losses to Flavia and JJ.  But no.  Flava Flav beat her in three today, 64 26 64.  For whatever reason, Flava Flav has your number, Venus.  I can't explain it.  She has now beaten Venus three straight times, dating back to Bangkok 2007.

Flavia should be getting a bouquet of glitter covered roses shortly.

In other notable matches, Kuzzie took out the Li Na the Bracket Buster, 64 75 (and did a nifty Youzny Salute to boot), and Bepa continued her solid year with a nice win over a horribly dressed MaKiri.  Seriously, what was Stella thinking? How in the world was that supposed to be a good look?

But SuperGirl came to the rescue and guaranteed we wouldn't have two hotties go out in one day, beating Tranny Schiavone 63 62.  I really hope Schiavone doesn't decide to tank her doubles match.

Moscow Player Party Pics -- Who died?

What's with all the black, ladies?  And seriously, a little bronzer on the feet never hurt nobody.  Y'all need to try it.

(Pics from Tennis Forum and Mens Tennis Forum)

Bagels, Breadsticks, and Gut Checks.

Well well well.  The results were not surprising, but the matches were.  Thank God for Tivo!

I have learned since seeing Mardy Fish destroy (and yes, I mean DESTROY) Roger at Indian Wells that you can't really count the dude out.  The fact is that when he is on, he is awfully hard to beat.  But I also know that he's a bit of a flake and against a guy like Monfils I figured it would go at least four sets with a few sets being very close.  But for all the upside to Monfils (athletic ability, court coverage, shot making ability) there's also a downside, which was harped upon at RG before he made his run.  He is your quintiscential counterpuncher who is content to hang behind the baseline and let his opponent make mistakes.  I've always had a problem with these types of players because how can they are essentially going into a match hoping that the other guys screws up, as opposed to taking their game to the other player and beating them.  Seems awfully risky to me to put the match on the other guy's racquet instead of your own.

Well today, LaMonf was taken to the shed by Mardy Fish.  He was patient and went for his blazing shots when they were there and he executed.  All credit to Mardy for two very impressive back to back wins.  He's having an Indian Wells-like run here.

Mardy's next opponent is Rafa, who had a rather adventurous afternoon.  Sure, he won in four sets but boy, it was a lot closer than the score indicated.  Querrey California showed up to play and he was hell bent on (a) not getting embarrassed and (b) maximizing his air time on CBS (the kid IS from Southern California after all).  Rafa seemed on a roll until he had a break point at 4-2 and sent a forehand flying out of bounds on an easy second serve.  That seemed to rattle him and Querrey came back and rattled off a 7-5 win.  From then it it was a complete gut-out by Rafa.  He was completely off his game, sending a load of UFEs (for him) and serving horribly.  The world #1 was sending in 90 mph serves.  But in the end Querrey couldn't capitalize.  The epic 4-2 game in the fourth set that saw seven break points for Querrey, would eventually go Rafa's way.  And the rest is history.

I think this was a good match for Rafa to have.  Every top player needs one game in the tournament to test their fight and their gut.  This was Rafa's.

As for the ladies, it was a bagel and breadstick buffet.  ALG gave Dinara a run in the first set, eventually losing 7-5, and that must have broken her spirit.  Baby Beluga would eventually force feed the resurgent German a bagel in the second.  Dinara will face Flava Flav who has had a fantastic few months.  She destroyed Momo 3 and 0.  Dinara holds the 4-0 lead on the H2H, beating Flavia just a month ago in the LA final, 4 and 2. 

As for Venus, well, she was Venus.  She looks absolutely unbeatable, beating Agi 1 and 3.  Radwanska made it a tick more competitive in the second set but in the end there was zero doubt who was the favorite and who had the game to take the tournament.  The more the Sisters play the more bummed I get that they're going to meet in the next round (assuming Serena wins her match tonight).  It's a darn shame.