Forty Deuce

Who Da Campions? They Da Campions.

I love the use of ellipses.  So much suspense!

As expected, Flavia clinched the Fed Cup for Italy with a 75 62 win over Melanie. 

I could wax poetic about how awesome this is, but there are so many good pics from the Italians' celebration that I feel words are pointless here:

No, you, Flavia.  You.

Harses, harses, harses, harses.

Sing it loud.  Sing it proud.

You know Liezel's about 3 seconds away from a tantrum.
 

Flavia Cup.


Ain't no shame, MJ.  Hell of a job this year.

 
For love of country.


You know this picture would exist.  Deep in your heart, you knew it.


Forza!

Go Fish, Kids.

At 2am this morning, I was reminded how much I love watching clay court tennis.

As expected, Team Italy is well on its way to hoisting the Fed Cup after two straight set wins by Flavia and Tranny.

It didn't take much from Flavia to beat Glatch 3 and 1 in a little over an hour.  I really don't know why Alexa says clay is her favorite surface.  She. Can. Not. Move.  Solid match from Flavia, who constructed points and used the slow clay to perfection.  Nothing Glatch could do, really.  She was just completely out of her league on this one.

The key match was Franny vs. Melanie.  Franny's been on a roll lately and Melanie, well, she's well-rested and a fighter.  She's proven us wrong before.

 

But not this time.  Mel came blasting out of the gate and held a 4-2 lead before rain suspended play and the wheels came off the Believe Train.  She'd get broken and would drop the tiebreaker and the second set, 62.

 

So Italy has their 2-0 lead and it's all smiles times for the Poker Team. 

Welcome To Italy, Kids.

Ah, the face of confidence.

The draw for the Fed Cup final took place today, and yeah, Italy's still in a good spot.

Round 1: Flavia Pennetta vs. Alexa Glatch

Round 2: Francesca Schiavone vs. Melanie Oudin

Round 3: Flavia Pennetta vs. Melanie Oudin
Round 4: Francesca Schiavone vs. Alexa Glatch

Round 5: Sara Errani/Roberta Vinci vs. Liezel Huber/Vania King

It's a good draw for Italy.  Flavia on clay is always tough, though Alexa Glatch claims its her favorite surface because it gives her time, but more importantly, Tranny has been on a roll as of late, winning 9 of her last 10 matches.  If she can take out the US #1 on the first day, then Italy's golden after Day 1. 

All that said, I'm looking forward to this final.  You know Italy's going to bring it.  Here's hoping MJ finds a way to inspire her kids one more time.

Pic This: "My Poker Face, My My Poker Face."

 

Bring. It.

Season Ender

This picture makes me sad.

An outstanding performance by MaKiri today meant that Agi won't be playing in Doha (unless she makes it as an alternate).  The fucked up thing is that because of the Bali qualification rules (discussed at length in our last podcast), she might not even get to play Bali.  So we'll have a player, who will likely finish in the top 10, who will play neither YEC.  Nice job, WTA.  Seriously, can you do *anything* right?

 

Flava Flav was forced to retire while up a set to Agnes due to a left knee injury, thus ending her campaign for Doha.  And since Bali is scheduled during the same weekend as the Fed Cup final, she won't be playing Bali either, even though she's qualified.

So...well done, WTA. 

Moskau, Moskau!

The biggie for this week is Kremlin Cup; an ATP 250 for the men and a Premier for the women.  Since it's the week before Doha, most of the top women are giving Moscow a miss.  Never mind that, though, because the four women still in contention for the last spot/alternate status at YEC are all playing.  Davai!

ATP

Nads did the draw.  This is a picture of her immediately after she drew Safin/Davydenko for the first round.  Heh.

 

Yeah, well done, Nads.  So, I suppose we can expect Marat to exit stage right from his last Kremlin Cup relatively early.  Although he did beat Kolya there last year.  Anyway...

Draw

Top Four Seeds: Kolya, Victor Hanescu, Misha, Igor Andreev

Potential Quarterfinals: Kolya/Martin Vassallo Arguello, Igor/Janko, Misha/Fabrice, Hanescu/Pablo Cuevas

Potential Interesting Early Matches: Kolya/Marat (1R)

Interesting Story Lines: Will Igor Andreev repeat as "Mr. Fair Play"?  Will Marat actually give a shit? 

WTA

 

Draw

Top Four Seeds: Vera, JJ, Aga, Flavs

Potential Quarterfinals: Vera/Nads, JJ/Lena V, Aga/Franny, Flavs/Dominika

Potential Interesting Early Matches: CanWoz/Errani (1R), Flavs/Agnes (1R), JJ/Shvedova (1R), Vera/Pavs (2R), Aga/Winner of CanWoz v. Errani (2R), Franny/Sorana (2R), Flavs/Dushevina (2R), JJ/Lucie (2R)

Interesting Story Line: 4 players. 3 YEC spots.  Bring.  It.  On.

Some People Learn the Hard Way

Including me, apparently.  As I was writing my (very brief) recap of Linz yesterday, I thought to myself, "You know, now that you've said that about Flavs and Aga, they're both going to lose."  "Hahaha," my slightly more rational side chided me, "don't be such a moron."  I chose to listen to the "rational" side, didn't even bother to highlight the matches on the OOP, and went on my merry way.

Yeah, guys.  The power of the jinx, it's fo realz.

 

 

Yeah, me too.  Flavia lost to Yanina Wickmayer, and Aga to Petra Kvitova, both in straight sets.  Ladies, ladies... wha happen?  Not to take anything away from Yanina or Petra, both of whom I think are better than their rankings.  And, in the interest of YEC, maybe it's better for both Aga and Flavs to have a day off before Kremlin Cup gets under way.  But still.  [sigh]

The one that confuses me the most is Aga's, and it seems like her serve just did her in.  I sort of hated Brad Gilbert for outright laughing at her second serve earlier in the season, but when you see a stat like that she saved 6/8 break points in the second set here, well... it's hard to argue.

(Also, any time I see a Czech player's name now, I hear that reporter in the name video.  Linguistic mocking.)

Singles - Semifinals
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (1) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 76(5) 63
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. (2) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 63 62

Catching Up

So... that work thing happened.  And now I am determined to at least get a results post out.  It's not gonna be much, but I submit it humbly for your consumption, dear reader.

Shanghai

More retirements??  You're kidding, right?  And my Quality Guy Ljubicic, too.  Sobs.  But he's an old guy, I guess I'll forgive him the hip injury.

Also, Feli won another match?  This is beginning to feel like some kind of alternate universe.  Also, I was very amused by Kolya's quote that Stepanek "destroyed" him in the second set.  I don't think 6-4 counts as destruction, sweetie.

Singles - Quarter-finals

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 36 63 ret. (left hip)
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [8] G Simon (FRA) 63 26 62
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d [13] R Stepanek (CZE) 61 46 61
F Lopez (ESP) d [9] R Soderling (SWE) 76(4) 63

Linz

Finally.  Actual matches!  If I hadn't been so preoccupied all day, I would have been glued to Radwanska/Safarova.  Wickmayer/Errani and Kvitova/CSN aren't too shabby, either.  I keep thinking how awesome it'll be if Round 1 of the YEC Race to the Bottom comes down to an Aga/Flavs final.  That would be faaaaaaaantabulous.

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 75 62
(2) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (7) Lucie Safarova (CZE) 63 76(9)
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (8) Sara Errani (ITA) 75 63
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. (4) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 75 64

Osaka

The Shanghai of the WTA.  Two retirements in four quarterfinals?  Woz/Woz is always a good time, and I'm glad that those matches are at least getting a little closer, but still.  More than one meaningful match this late in a tournament would be nice.

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (6) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 62 67(1) 62
Sania Mirza (IND) d. (2) Marion Bartoli (FRA) 64 20 ret. (right shoulder injury)
(3) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Jill Craybas (USA) 61 63
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. (7) Melinda Czink (HUN) w/o (right foot injury)

Things Get Vaguely Interesting

Okay, not really, I guess.  But come on, Radwanska/Cornet?  That's a solid match.  On paper.  Maybe.  And Anna-Lena Groenfeld somehow took Flavia to three sets.  They're trying.  Halfheartedly.

Seriously, I'm perfectly pleased at how these tournaments are progressing, there's just not much to say about Lucie Safarova beating U.Rad.  Or Sam Stosur beating Akiko Morigami.  Okay, maybe there's something to say about that, Sam winning is a rare enough sight these days.

Linz

Singles - Second Round
(1) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Anna-Lena Groenfeld (GER) 63 46 62
(2) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Alizé Cornet (FRA) 64 75
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) 26 63 61
(7) Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Urszula Radwanska (POL) 64 64
Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) d. (Q) Julia Goerges (GER) 36 62 75

Osaka

[1] Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Katie O'Brien (GBR) 60 61

[6] Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. K Chang (TPE) 75 76(2)

[3] Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Akiko Morigami (JPN) 61 62

Jill Craybas (USA) d. Mathilde Johansson (FRA) 26 62 60

Pic This: High on a Hill with a Lonely Goatherd...

Oh, man, Linz's costume party is just the best.  Does anyone know if they get to pick out their own dirndls?

Somehow, her hair really makes this.

 

On grass, indeed.

 

I am very sure I saw her at a junior ice dance competition this year.

 

This is just too much.

Wandered off the set of the remake of Heidi?

 

Looks like the party included a reenactment of this scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

 

"Danke schoen... Darlin', danke schoen..."

Well, there's always a fucking party pooper.

Doha 2009: Race to the Bottom

Dinara, Serena, Caro, Sveta, Venus, Elena and Vika are already in.  That means there's one spot left for the Year End Championships in Doha...

... and, with two weeks left, five players within striking distance.

 

(There are zero decent pictures of Marion out there.  Kinda funny.)

Jelena, Vera, Aga, Flavia and Marion.  Five players, 450 points, one spot.  And they're all playing at least once in the next two weeks.  And, obviously, not only is the one spot at #8 open, but both the alternate spots are up for grabs, too.  Given that for the last two years, alternates have both played and won matches at YEC (including Aga and Marion), you can bet no one's taking those spots or potential points for granted either.

Jelena and Vera are numbers 8 and 9 in the Race right now, respectively, and are separated by a mere five points.  They are both playing Moscow, and, of course, are respectively the defending champion (JJ) and and finalist (Bepa).  It seems natural to assume that, between those two, whoever goes farthest in Moscow will end up with the final spot for Doha.  That really takes the whole thing right down to the wire, since the Moscow final is a mere two days before start of play in Doha.  Game.  On.

However.

Aga, who vaulted herself back into YEC contention with her finals showing at Beijing this week, is currently #10 in the race (225 points behind JJ at #8, 200 points ahead of Flavia at #11) and is slated to play both Linz and Moscow.  A good showing at both could put her right up there, especially if one or both of JJ/Vera crashes out early at Kremlin Cup.  Plus, she should be super-motivated: she's on a hot streak, she's defending points from Doha last year, and a win at Linz would also qualify her for the Baby YEC in Bali.

Flavia, currently #11 in the Race, is 425 points out of 8th, which seems like a lot until you consider that she, like Aga, is playing both Linz and Moscow.  Since Flavia's already qualified for the Baby YEC, but can't go because of her Fed Cup commitments, it might be that she shows up at both tournaments extra hungry to make it into Doha, either fully qualified or as an alternate.  

Marion is #12 in the race, 450 points out of #8 and 225 points out of #10.  She's playing Osaka this week and, as the #2 seed, has a decent shot at the title, particularly if Caroline Wozniacki's health is still iffy.  On the one hand, since she's so far out of #8 and (unlike the two players directly in front of her) is only playing once, her odds for making the cut seem bad.  On the other hand, if I had to pick the steadiest competitor out of all five of these women... it might just be Marion.

So, there you have it.  On paper, it looks amazing.  As for the reality... well, God knows the WTA has had a hard time living up to billing this year, but I still kind of can't wait.

And In Matches No One Cares About...

A-Rad came back from a set and 0-4 down to reel off the next six games and win 46 64 62.  Good on her.  I went to sleep thinking she was about to get bageled.

And Bepa avenged her rather dramatic loss to Flavs at the USO with a rather dramatic three set win in Beijing.  Apparently there was a lot of sniping from both of them because of some questionable line calls.  And as the China Open site describes:

Early in the match, Pennetta was berating herself for mistakes, but by the end of the second set, Zvonareva took her turn. She met with her coach twice during the match.

Five times in the match the chair judge corrected the line judges. On the fifth, Zvonareva argued to keep the original call. She then loudly and aggressively scored the next point, but lost the game.

In the third set, when Zvonareva was up 3-2, Pennetta took a break after a back injury. After examination on and off court, she returned to win two more games.

Pennetta fought until the last point, arguing with the chair judge over shots missing the sideline. Finally, Zvonareva won the 2 1/2 hour match with a close 7-5 set.

Heh.  Sounds like a doozy.

After a mild bit of scouring I couldn't find any pictures from these two matches.  Apparently Marion Bartoli is more of a press score than A-Rad, Flavs, or Bepa.  But these pics are great. 

Perhaps the best thing about that Bepa picture?  The caption: "Vera Zvonareva happily met and signed autographs for some of her fans during some time off from matches."

Yeah, she looks ecstatic, WTA.

"Be Pretty, Before and After."

Just...I can't deal with how awesome she is. Can't. It makes me feel funny...

Cute...but GOD, that voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me.


"I only use one finger." Ew.

Pic This: Someone Didn't Sleep Well On The Plane...

Quick!  Someone check the passenger manifest for one "Safin, Marat."

UPDATED: Flavia Pennetta Is The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread. Sliced Bread That Would Have A Quickie With Marat.

As if we needed further proof, an Italian interview with Flava Flav confirms that she is 100% sexy badass:

Here is a rough translation according to a Tennis Forum poster:

PENNETTA WITHOUT TABOOS

ROMA. The bigger is the amount of beautiful female players in the tour, the tighter is the connection between tennis players and sex. There were big rumors about Barbara Schett, a very beautiful player from Austria, and her habit of having sex after matches in locker rooms. Well known also the hard date fixed by Francesca Schiavone to someone who was watching her match in the stand. Follows that trend also Flavia Pennetta, who talked without taboos in a interview to the TV show “Le iene”. On a tone serious and facetious in the same time, the beautiful Italian player discusses burning issues, such as sex and doping.

A QUICKIE WITH SAFIN. She started recalling the well known love story with Carlos Moya: “During the tour, we shared the rooms and made not abstinence, we made free sex.” Currently Pennetta is single but she confesses that, in the tour, three or four male players (the latest one was a Brasilian player) tried to sexually accost her, but she refused because she didn’t like them. On the same issue, the Italian player said that Tommy Haas is the most handsome player, but she “ would make a quickie with Safin”. No chances to Federer, Nadal, Del Potro, Yannick Noah…and to Maria Sharapova. She admits that in the tour there are many lesbian tennis players, but she never had advances from female colleagues; then she jokes putting sexy poses, and she admits to have had sex in a locker room, on cement, on grass, and even in a airplane “during a long leg” 

DOPING AND TENNIS. She said that Serena Williams always beats her because “she is an animal compared to me” and then said that Italian tennis players are non competitive because they are “not confident”. Then Pennetta doesn’t evade the question about doping in tennis: “I think it exists”. If some tennis player use cocaine, that’s for fun but she never used it. Finally she elects Kournikova as the most beautiful in the tour, and says that, on a aesthetic basis, it’s a big fight between her and Francesca Schiavone.

I love that she readily admits she's had sex EVERYWHERE.  My vagina salutes you, Flavia.

UPDATED: AHHHHH!!!! Thanks to Maz for finding the video and to Carrie for finding the rough translation.  See them both after the jump.

UPDATED: Overqualified.

I was in D.C. all weekend without any internet access.  And let's just say I'm not entirely sad about that.  Glad to see I missed the carnage:

(Q) Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) d. (1/WC) Dinara Safina (RUS) 76(5) 46 75


(Q) Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 75 46 63

(Q) Katareyna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 62 67 61

(Q) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. (2) Venus Williams (USA) 76(6) 75

Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. (6) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 36 64 62

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (9) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62

Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (10) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) 64 76(1)

Also, Rybarakova just beat Nads and Maria's on her way to bagel and 'sticking Sam.  And we know how Sam feels about 'sticking.  Not a fan, methinks.

So it's absolute Bedlam in Tokyo as the top seeds are falling left and right in the first two rounds (as of this post, JJ, A-Rad, and Caro still have to play their 2R matches).

[UPDATE: Caro retires down 05 to CanWoz. So the top 6 seeds are out after their first matches.]

I don't have much to say quite yet.  I need some time to process it all.  But I have a feeling Billy Shakes was a WTA fan back in the day:

She should have died hereafter ;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time ;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

This Week On WTA's Next Top Model...

Win: v. To achieve victory or finish first in a competition.

Suck it, Carlos.

Oh no, wait.  You can't!

Serna Wns!

64 63 over Flavs. 

She served really well and Flavia looked like that three setter the other day left her tank a bit empty.  But credit to Serena.  She looked untouchable.

 

A nice tournament from Flavia.  She'll get some bonus money from the USO series and hopefully she walks away with more fans.  She is awesome and she deserves it.

 

Delicous.

Pic This: It Must Be Love.

You knew today was going to be all about the love when Nico and Rafa took some time out of their busy work schedules to enjoy a little couples massage.  That's love, people.

Yes, Flavia.  Your balls are *that* big.

SuperJo.

I didn't know you could call an MTO for a hug.  I wish Bepa called one.

Why is Elf *always* whacking off during matches?  It's poor form, dude.

"Oh my God."

That was Flavia's reaction when Corina told her she had saved six match points on the way to her comeback win over Bepa, 46 76 60, in what was the match of the tournament so far for the women.  The first two sets were high quality and off the charts competitive.  

In the end, it all came down to the 15+ minute game on Flavia's serve at 5-6 in the second set. Flavia would play huge, HUGE, on the four match points that she would have to save.  Bepa on the other hand played way too conservatively (though she played well) on those points, waiting for Flavia to give her the match. 

Yeah, Flavia don't play that.  She would go on to hold serve *and* save two more match points in the tiebreak to take the second set and destroy Bepa's spirit.

"I think we broke her brain."

I don't think I can really do justice describing the Bepa breakdown that occurred in that third set.  First she left the court to change and was reportedly crying hysterically as she left the court.  Then she angrily started ripping off her tape a few points into the third set.  Then she yelled at Lynn for not letting her cut off the tape between the first and second game of the set because it wasn't a changeover.  Then she fell down and violently slapped herself 5 times.  The dropped about 4 F-bombs.  And then she cracked her racquet into the net post.  I'm sure there was other stuff.  But as I was telling my cousins who had never seen her before, "Yeah, um...this happens."

Really really gutsy stuff from Flavia today.  Let's be clear, Bepa played well enough to win for 1.99 sets.  Other than the fact that she didn't take any risks, Bepa played the match points well I thought.  But Flavia had courage.  And that was the difference.  Well that and Bepa's crazy.  

I just love you so much.  And yes, in a totally unnatural way.  

But my love cannot be denied.

Pic This: Hangover Edition

A lovely lazy Saturday morning.  I actually wish I could say I was hungover.  Then I'd have an better excuse than normal to lie on the couch under a blanket and watch tennis all day.

Nice run by Dani into the Round of 16.  I hope she's happy.

Yes, you have long limbs.  We get it.

The magic Comp Kit runs out of gas.  But a fantastic run for MaKiri.

Flying Jo.

10% pasta, 90% win.

"Move, bitch, get out the way, get out the way, get out the way..."

Is Italy the new Serbia?  No, it's not.  Just sounded like a cool thing to say.

Is there any player that looks more in-form than Flavia?  After dishing out a double bagel in her last match, she double 'sticked CanWoz today.  I always think it's so interesting that Flavs loves the clay but is able to translate the shot making and point construction skills to the hard courts with success.  Let that be a lesson to all.

But then came the big upset of the day as Tranny ousted #8 seed and FD fave Viko in three sets, taking the third 6-2.  Heck of an effort by Tranny.  You are boss.

I haven't seen the match yet so feel free to weigh in in the comments.  Did Viko play like crap?  Did Tranny take it too her?  Who outgrunted who?  Did Viko get woozy?  On a scale of 10 to 10, how much of a bitch was Viko being?

I have to say though, in all seriousness (well, 5% seriousness), what happened to Viko?  She came roaring out of the gates, taking Brisbane, almost beating Serena in AO, beating Dina at IW, and beating Serena for the Miami title.  At that point, I think we all began to accept that, whether we like it or not, Viko was going to make a run this year and she was going to break through.  That hasn't really happened though, and even though her losses have been to quality opponents (Dina at RG, Serena at SW19, Maria in LA, JJ in Cincy, and Kim in Toronto), her second half progress has been disappointing.  I wonder how much of it is a fitness issue.  Maybe her first full year of being a legitimate contender has taken its toll.

It'll be interesting to see what happens the rest of the year.  Given all the buzz around her during the first four months of the season, wouldn't it be weird if she didn't qualify for Doha? 

Bepa's Madonna Arms Get It Done

Nice win for CanWoz at the expense of Momo.  64 60?  What happened, Amelie?

 

Nails did what she does, bitchslapping the ever annoying Burrito, 61 63.  Nice to see Nails back in form after her injury.  Keep it up, China!

 

And finally, in Badassery news, Flavia double-bageled Sania and Bepa came back from dropping the first set to Chakky to double 'sticking her.  Kudos, ladies.

Bonus

Just a reminder.  Sam and Elena are the US Open series champs.  On the men's side, Muzz and DelPo finished second and third, respectively, and for the ladies Flavs and JJ finished second and third.  All six are now in the running for bonus money depending on how well they do in NYC.

Let's see if they can cash in.

Seeing The Light.

Nice article on Flava Flav on Tennis.com.  

It's a big change for a player who was taken to the hospital during her first junior tournament because she was so nervous she couldn't breathe. It's also a welcome change from the end of last season, when Pennetta learned how fleeting success can be.

In October, Federico Luzzi, an ATP pro from Italy and one of Pennetta's best friends, died of leukemia at age 28. Luzzi's playing career had been ended earlier in the year when he was suspended for 200 days and fined $50,000 for placing nearly 300 bets on tennis matches. (He was not accused of fixing matches, though he once bet $4.50 on himself to win.) Luzzi was working on a comeback last fall when he retired from an Italian league match with a fever. He saw a doctor and was told the following week that he had cancer; three days later, he was dead. Pennetta and Potito Starace, a pro who had lived with Luzzi, were devastated.

"I grew up with him," Pennetta said. "We didn't see each other so much because the tours are different, but he was the kind of person you see one time after three months and it's the same. It was very tough, something you cannot explain."

Pennetta has had sadness in her personal life as well. She had dated Carlos Moya, the former No. 1 and 1998 French Open champion, for several years, and says they were talking about marriage before Moya left her in 2007. She says she is single now, and happy about it.

"Everything happens for a reason," she said.

As she has moved up the rankings this year, Pennetta has kept Luzzi in her mind. She's not sure why she is having so much more success this season than previous years. Perhaps it's because her life no longer begins and ends with the sport. In fact, she's already looking forward to a life after tennis: First, a family, and then career helping to develop Italian players. And maybe her own motorbike, too.

Good on ya, Flavs. 

Badass

Winner.

 

Winner.

 

Chicken dinner.

You Fail, Yale.

Be happy, Flavia.  At least you don't have to stay around for this clusterfucked tournament anymore and you can get on with focusing on the USO.

The rain has wreaked absolute havoc on New Haven and I feel pretty bad for everyone (especially the guys) who've actually made it deep into the tournament.  At least the ladies were able to get their semifinal matches completed late yesterday, with Caro ending Flavs' charge for the US Open Series title and Vezzie taking out Momes.  

 

But the guys had to come out Saturday morning to finish their semifinal matches and will turn around to play the final TONIGHT.  That's right, Sam and FeVer came out this morning and won their matches over Chucho and Igor, respectively, and they'll play each other in the final in a few hours.  

You know, because the best preparation for a grueling US Open is to play two matches in one day only two days before Main Draw play begins.  Here's hoping the USO organizers cut them some slack when they do their scheduling.

Here's the AP story on the whole mess.

"Thanks, Coach"

Flavia and Boots attempt to play tennis on a football pitch. Hilarity insues. And awesomeness. But more hilarity.  Is Boots not the WTA's dream?  They just keep finding ways to rope her into these promos.  

 

Pic This: Does Flavia Have To Cut A Bitch?

Thanks to Steve for catching this.

Oh, Flavi, No...

Well the streaking Flavs ran into a brick wall today...


And her name...is Coconut.

Dina blasted Flavs off the court with a 62 60 win.  Now mind you, Dina had a 6-0 H2H against Flavia going into the match, so the result isn't surprising.  But wow, that was one of the cleanest matches I've seen Dina play all year.  Clean hitting combined with a clearly fatigued Flavs equals 2 and 0.  Dina advances to her 9th final of the year.

Coconuts, bagels, and kisses for all!

15

15 straight matches.  That's the kind of roll Flavia's on right now.


In the battle of The Nice Girls, Flavia took out Dani, 63 63. 

She'll play Dinara tomorrow.

Andiamo!

Congrats to Flavia, for playing steady tennis and beating Venus in straight sets, 76 64.  Her reward?  On Monday she'll become the first Italian woman to ever crack the top 10.  She does this at the ripe old age of 27, no less.  Much deserved!

As for Venus, she didn't bring her A game.  But she was still playing well enough to win against most players. 


But see, when you are made of awesome, you will not be denied.

That's A Wrap

Despite the LA tournament organizers trying their best to make this the most annoying tourney ever, I had a blast attending the tournament.  It really could have sucked.  The night before I was set to take off, both Dina and Ana lost, the latter being unsurprising and the former being, well, possibly a game changer.  I mean, I was shelling out $500 to *not* see Dinara?  What the fuck?

But it all proved to be worth it.  Despite the 8 dollar beers, prohibition on bringing in outside food or drink (though that didn't stop *some* people), and getting yelled at for bringing in a camera with a lens longer than 3 inches, it was so great to be in the sun and watch tennis.  But what made it awesome was the great company of Victoria, Katie, and Tracy, and the great matchups and high quality tennis (uh...let's ignore the hell that was the two hour Masha/Ula clusterfuck).

Highlights after the jump.

Press Pass

I guess this is as close as I'm getting to a press pass. Whatever.


Flavia after winning the final. yay!


Flavia after beating Maria in the semis.


Maria after losing the semis. Love her honesty.


Sam after beating Sorana.


Sam after losing the final.


Sorana after losing to Sam. I think I forget sometimes when she's playing how young she is. She look so intense. But she's adorable in this interview. Nice kid.

You Didn't Think I'd Skip This, Did You?

Before she beat Sam for the title, Flavia notched herself a nice little win over some chick named Maria Sharapova.  Heard of her?

Um, this point was quickly followed by Victoria, Katie, Tracy, and I falling out of our seats laughing.

Ok, I'm not proud of it but I was rooting for Maria throughout the match (much to Victoria's vicodined-high annoyance).  On some really dark level I kind of want Maria to win a title before Ana does this year.  I don't know why that is and I'm sure I'll be vilified for it.  But it's something I want.  Deal with it.

But Flavia was surgical in how she dismantled Maria.  Hell, she was surgical in how she dismantled the entire Russian Federation this week.  Her match against Bepa was a lot of fun and really high quality.  Great hitting and veteran point construction.  She played so well in fact, that Bepa got...how do you say...frustrated:

Funny moment early in the match: Lynn Welch called time, Flavia walked out, and Bepa continued to sit in her chair for a good 30 seconds.  Finally Lynn called out to her.  Bepa hadn't heard her say time, so she kind of shrugged and hurriedly ran out to the court.  Lynn just had this look of "Oh, Bepa *headlock noogie*".  It was good for some LOLz.

Flavia Is Not Just Awesome At Life. She Is Also Awesome At Tennis.

A year after making the finals of LA and losing to Dina, Flavia came through a tough draw (beating Nads, Bepa, and Masha) to take it to Sammy Stones and win the biggest title of her career, 64 63.

It was a really impressive display by Flavia, the third straight impressive match I'd seen from her.  The match came down to two things: Flavia's decision to break down Sam's backhand (which worked) and Sam's inability to serve well (she was outaced. By Flavia Pennetta.  Think about that.)  Flavi (yes, she calls herself "Flavi") played within herself and was totally contained. 

I went into the match thinking that I was going to root for Flavs.  But as the match started I really started pulling for Sam, partly because I wanted three sets, and partly because, having watched her play a bunch this weekend, I just REALLY love watching her play tennis.  As Victoria and I were discussing, Sam plays like a guy, and I mean that as a total compliment.  Big serve, big forehand, good volley.  You don't really get the sense of how big her serve and forehand are on TV.  Those things are Rafa-like in the way that they kick up from the court.  Unfortunately for Sam, Flavs totally negated both weapons, hitting consistently to her backhand, and then Sam couldn't execute her serve.  Tough loss for Sam.  This was a really good opportunity for her to notch her first WTA singles title.

So congratulations to both of them for a solid tournament.  But for now, Flavia is the Queen of Awesome.  If there's a lifesize cutout of her next year, I'm going for it.

On Guts Alone

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Or something to that effect.

How ridiculous is it that this match was nowhere to be found on TV or streams?  Maria battled back after dropping a very tight first set to beat #3 seed Vicky, 6-7 (4), 6-4, 6-2.  Vicks Vaporub said after the match that she was rusty from not playing since SW19.  Probably true.  But Masha showed again why she's awesome: She can gut out matches like this where she's playing like crap and simply beat you on will alone.  You go, girl.

In early action, Ana has taken back her Adilibria gear and Dina is once again back to her asexual Competition kit.  And her hand is all taped up, which is odd. 

But she beat a taped up Dani pretty easily 62 64.

Love Flavia's new Sergio kit.  Also love that she's winning.  She beat Coco Vandeweghe 2 and 4.

Singles - Second Round
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 62 64
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (3) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) 67(4) 64 62
(5) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. Shahar Peer (ISR) 64 26 63
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. (7) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 64 67(6) 64
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 62 61
(10) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (WC) Coco Vandeweghe (USA) 62 64
(12) Li Na (CHN) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 46 64 62
(13) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 62 64
(14) Zheng Jie (CHN) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 64 46 60
(17) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 61 64
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 57 64 75
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 36 61
Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (Q) Jill Craybas (USA) 76(2) 61

Doubles - First Round
(1) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. Ruano Pascual/Zheng (ESP/CHN) 64 64
King/Niculescu (USA/ROU) d. (3) Pennetta/Raymond (ITA/USA) 75 63
(4) Hsieh/Peng (TPE/CHN) d. Poutchek/Savchuk (BLR/UKR) 62 63
Kirilenko/A.Radwanska (RUS/POL) d. Kudryavtseva/Rodionova (RUS/RUS) 62 46 104

All You Need To Know

She is Italian.  She is bad ass.  She is Flavia Pennetta.


And she is the 2009 Palermo champion, dusting Sara Errani, 2 and 1. 

This is Flavs' 7th title, and 6th on clay. Forza Flavia!

Here, Caro, Have Another Trophy

Doubles partners Flavs and Olivia both bit the dust today, setting up the much anticipated showdown between Boots and...Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez.  So there's that.

Singles - Semifinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 63 46 62
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 75 64

Doubles - Semifinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Kondratieva/Lefèvre (RUS/FRA) 64 62
(2) Dulko/Pennetta (ARG/ITA) d. Domachowska/Grandin (POL/RSA) 62 64

 

No One, and I Mean NO ONE Beats Flavs Wearing a Sweatshirt. Fact.

Who do you think you are?  Bepa?  Step up your game, Alla.

So Bastad is working out to be a pretty fun tournament.  Flavia, Patty, Caro, and Dulko are through, which, given the WTA's "pleasant unpredictability", must give the Bastad tourney organizers some relief.

In the Battle For Middle Earth, wherein Middle Earth is the super cute flowy fashion designs of one Ms. Stella McCartney (who, incidentally, is going to design a line for GapKids), Boots came out on top.  And no, that's not a sex reference, Pspace.

 
And in the "Shit, I don't know who I'm rooting for here" match of the day, Olivia gutted out a tight three setter over #2 seed Domi.  I still refuse to believe she's for real.

And the headscratcher result of the day?  Sheldon (TM Victoria) gets bageled on her way to losing to Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater.  Bageled?  On clay?  Really, Sheldon?

Here are the rest of the scores:
Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 75 76(4)
Gisela Dulko (ARG) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 67(5) 63 76(6)
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 64 62
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. (7) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP)
46 63 60

Doubles - Quarterfinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Schiavone/Suárez Navarro (ITA/ESP) 76(3) 62
Kondratieva/Lefèvre (RUS/FRA) d. (4) Cirstea/Wozniacki (ROU/DEN) 46 64 108

Bastad: Tuesday OOP

Flavs vs. The Boss?  Yes please and make it a double.

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Pennetta vs. Schiavone
2. Roma vs. Cibulkova
3. Wozniacki vs. Arvidsson
4. Zec Peskiric vs. Johansson

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Buryachok vs. Kirilenko
2. Palkina vs. Allgurin
3. Kvitova vs. Vakulenko
4. Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez vs. Laine/U.Radwanska

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Llagostera Vives vs. Morita
2. Martínez Sánchez vs. Kanepi
3. Jensen/Larsson vs. Craybas/Kudryavtseva

Court 3 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Krauth/Nooni vs. Kondratieva/Lefèvre
2. Zahlavova Strycova vs. Kerber

Pic This: "You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, And Gosh Darn It, People Like You."

Aw, how sweet. 

But I've read Revelations.  God may love you if you lose, Andy, but the apocalypse will come.  No pressure!

Boom Boom in da hizz.  Kind of a surreal shot there.


Boo.  You lost.  How dare you.


Yeah, I made the same face when I found out too.  Everyone loves Gonzo.


This just looked like a picture I should post.  But I honestly have nothing witty to say about it.

Convo during the Muzz/Viktor match:

Cousin: Diadora makes tennis clothes?
Me: Apparently.
Cousin: Does Kappa make tennis clothes?
Me: How awesome would it be if someone was sponsored by Umbro?

Ok, it was a much funnier conversation than it seems.  Take my word for it.  That Umbro line is GOLD.

Oh, Flavs.  We still love you.

Dinara: "So...should we cancel the surprise party?"
Nads: "NAAAAAHHHH."

Oh, Tomas.  Don't ever change.

Awesome Is In The Building

Yeah, baby.  The Flavs is in full effect.  Didn't get dumped out in the first round, coming back from a set down to 'stick and bagel NLV.

Let us celebrate!  Flying Birds for all!

And of course, the Momes.  Another one I like to see on grass.

Blink And You'll Miss Them

They came, they saw, they said "Nah...I'm over this."

Too bad.  Makiri's white and purple Stella number looks, as always, rad.  And what's up with Chakky's overheatedness?  Did the pink skirt bring out the color in her face?

Love ya, Bethanie.  But is that skirt made of basketball short material?  Just checking.

Oh, Flavs.  Sadness.  More sad?  The fact that Sergio Tachnini NEVER gives you anything fun or cool to wear.  Would it kill them to migrate away from the navy blue pallette?

Pic This: Rome If You Want To

It's just so damn poetic.  You can't make this shit up.

  
So.  Close.


What the what was going on Vika's quarterfinal match? 
All I have are pictures of her with her ass on the clay. Not that I'm complaining.

 
Does anyone really know where JJ's game currently ranks relative to the other ladies? 
I'm finding it really hard to handicap her chances at RG. 

Also?  With as much hairspray as you use on that ponytail,
I really don't think you should be noshing on it, honey.


LOLZ.

Get a sponsor, Agi.


Come on, ladies.  Get it together for RG.  Stop being retarded in third sets.


The Cone won!  And then she lost.


Not sure I'll ever get sick of Dina's "Ecstasy on Clay" modern art piece.

 
So.  Close.

Flava Flav!

That's one.

I'm counting on Flavia to use her Fed Cup inspiration to take some scalps during the clay season.  She kicked off her campaign today, holding her nerve (and her serve) to come back and take out JJ in three, 2-6, 6-4, 6-4. 

And get this:  SHE SERVED IT OUT.

Suck on that, WTA, haters!

As for the other semifinalists, Dina took care of Agi in straights (with both girls holding serve for the first SEVEN games), and Lena and Kuz also make it through, beating Mono and Dulko, respectively.

So Dina vs. Flavs and Lena vs Kuz tomorrow.  Fun!

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. (8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 64 62
(2) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. Marion Bartoli (FRA) 62 46 63
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (3) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 26 64 64
(5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 62

Doubles - Quarterfinals
Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) d. (1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) 75 46 107

Fed Cup Foto Fun

Sigh.  I'm really sad that I was too drunk and hungover to enjoy this round of Fed Cup in any meaningful way.  I guess I'll just have to piece it all together CSI style:

  
I love how JJ gets away with this shit.  Classic.


"Pop the corks, boys.  Mama's thirsty!"


Sigh.  Oh, Chakky.


"It's the one that says 'BADASS MUTHAFUCKA', motherfucker!"

 
"Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry."


Heeeeeeeeere's Kimmy!

(Also, I'm pretty sure there's a gyno joke I could make but seriously,
I'm not firing on all cylinders quite yet.)

 
Rad!


"Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!"


It takes a pretty dress and a million dollar smile, too.


Huh?  What's Bepa doing here?


All that's missing is a can of Fosters.


Liezel rocks her O face.


Heh.  Heh heh.  The world is changing, indeed.
 

Acne, cold sores, and manhands.  I don't think you're ready for this jelly, World Group.

Upset Sunday

How weird is it that I kinda feel bad for Russia?

Congrats to Team Italy for securing a spot in the finals by defeating the defending champions 4-1. 

Boss Lady Schiavone and Flava Flav took care of business yesterday, beating Sveta (16 62 62) and Chakky (64 60), respectively. 

Russia responded today though, as Kuz destroyed Flavs (60 63), which set up a crucial rubber between The Boss and Chevy Nova.  The match went the distance and for a while there, Tarpy was once again looking like a genius.  But despite Pavs having two set points in the first, Boss Lady was able to weather the storm and secure the tie for Italy, 76 46 62.

So it'll be Italy vs. the wily Americans, who pulled out the shocker of the weekend.  It wasn't just that they beat the Czech Republic. It was the *way* they did it, on the back of 19 year old Alexa Glatch, and a spectacular comeback by Liezel and Bethanie from match point down in the doubles rubber.  A true team effort which starts at the top with Captain MJ's leadership. 

I was scratching my head on Friday when MJ tapped Glatch over Oudin for the tie.  Clearly I've been drinking the Zina Kool-Aid and I should know better than to quetion El Capitan.  Glatch, ranked #114, took out both Iveta (#29) and Kvitova (#48) in straight sets, dropping only 6 games in the process.  Impressive stuff considering it was her first Fed Cup and it was an away tie with a boisterous Czech crowd. 


With Bethanie dropping the two singles rubbers, it was time for bit of redemption.  With the tie going to the decisive doubles rubber the Czechs quickly found themselves with a 6-2 5-2, match point.  But then the wheels came off after Peschke sailed a second serve return long, and Bethanie and Liezel found their form, coming back to take the second set in a tiebreaker and reeling off a 6-1 final set for the win.

And yes, Liezel showed off her awesome dorkitude throughout the match.  Fun stuff.

So Italy vs. U.S. in Italy on what I presume will be clay.  Yeah, good luck with that, MJ.

I Don't Know, Russia. I'm Not Feeling It.

Italy's got their game faces on. 

And never underestimate what Tranny can do during Fed Cup.  Or Flavs for that matter. 

As for the Russians, they come in a bit battered and shell-shocked:

Into the second singles berth steps the 22nd- ranked Anna Chakvetadze who has registered only four wins to her name this year, four less than Nadia Petrova who can count herself unlucky to be watching from the bench.

Winners of 15 of their last 16 ties, Russia will look to Svetlana Kuznetsova to provide a backbone for success. Kuznetsova is now coachless after her split last month from Olga Morozova but is enjoying a Fed Cup run of eight straight singles wins. She admits though that preparations this week have not been perfect: “We have not managed to practise indoors, only outdoors, and not as much as we should have because of the conditions but we are looking forward to the weekend.”

Chakky only has 4 wins this year?  Ugh.

Saturday
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)

Sunday
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) v Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
Sara Errani /Roberta Vinci (ITA) v Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova/Nadia Petrova (RUS)

Draw day interviews with Chakky, Sveta, Flavs, Tranny, and Nads and Chevy.

Vezzie Rebounds, Oudin Bagels, and Flavs Has Lost Her Flavor

 

If there was a pic of Flavia I would put it up but as it is it might be more appropriate anyways.  What's up with my favorite Italian Bird Thrower?  Such a strong end of 2008 and then she's barely left the ground in 2009.  Here's a list of her results so far:

• Hobart -- l to Rybarikova
• AO -- l to AMG
• Fed Cup -- win over Cornet and Momes
• Bogota -- l to Zec Peskiric
• Acapulco -- makes the final and loses to Venus 1 and 2 (on clay!)
• Monterey -- l to Zhalavova Strychova
• IW -- l to Ana
• Miami -- l to Momes
• Barcelona -- l to Vinci

Rybarikova?  AMG on hard court? Zec Peskiric? Strychova?  Vinci?  Really? 

Luckily Flavs' loss was the only horrific news of the day, though if you're Aranxta Sanchez Vicario you're a little pissed that your tournament has lost its top two seeds in the first round.  Makiri, the defending champion at Barcelona, is quietly making her way through the draw, which is good to see.

Back on home soil Sania tempted us with an upset, only to have the door slammed in her face by Venus, who won in three.  In the two big upsets of the day, Vezie took out Peppermint Patty in three, and Fed Cup hero Melanie Oudin dished out a bagel to a tired CanWoz.

Charleston:

(2) Venus Williams (USA) d. Sania Mirza (IND) 61 36 62
(5) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 63 63
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (8) Patty Schnyder (SUI) 62 67(5) 75
(Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) d. (9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 75 60
(10) Peng Shuai (CHN) d. Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) 75 26 75
Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) d. (11) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 64 75
Anastasia Rodionova (RUS) d. (12) Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) 62 64
(13) Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. Stephanie Dubois (CAN) 63 76(3)
(16) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (Q) Lenka Wienerova (SVK) 64 63
Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Vania King (USA) 64 62
Varvara Lepchenko (USA) d. (Q) Shenay Perry (USA) 62 63

Barcelona:

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (2/WC) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62
(6) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Severine Bremond (FRA) 75 62
Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d. (LL) Masa Zec Peskiric (SLO) 75 57 62
(Q) Anastasiya Yakimova (BLR) d. Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 36 63 60