Forty Deuce

Pic This: The Mad Men Of Putnam, Powell, and Loeb

 

I'd totally watch the spin off.

Pic This: "So You Come Here Askin' Me For A Favor..."

 

ATP WTF, Sponsored By Planters Peanuts.

 

But where are the top hats and monocles?  Talk about a missed opportunity.

Either that or this is a brilliant viral marketing campaign by Planters, a la this.

Ok, I'll stop fawning but I love love LOVE the ties the ATP made for them.  The hunter green and grey?  Swoony McSwoonerson over here.

 

Aaaaaand I've stopped swooning.  Thanks, BonerKillerer.

 

I will say this about Fed.  I'm glad he's procreating so that he can pass on that head of hair.  

 

Ahem.  No kids yet for Kolya.  No coincidence I'm sure.

 

I wonder if Simon Fuller, at some point, will drug Muzz, throw him into the back of a van, drive him to some dark alley, and get a one eyed Asian dentist in a wheelchair to fix his teeth.  Because boy, those things ruin a lot of pics.  That said, they're also why I love him.  I know, I'm not right in the head.

 

Aw, perfect. 

 

Rafa looks so different from picture to picture.  Does the dampness of his hair make *that* much of a difference?

 

It's weird to see Andy actually look bigger than Rafa.

Oh yeah.  This guy.

Welcome To The Hogwart's Reunion.

 

If Shanghai made the boys look like Hitmen, London has turned them all into the most mischievous group of prep school kids this side of Manhattan.  And I LOVE it.

  

The battle for Class President begins here.

Nice to see Rafa's hair decided to dry for this pic.

  

The faves.  Or so "they" say.

  

Cute.

 

Not sure why I can't find his stock picture.  Did someone arrive a little late to the party?

 

Lucky Sod.

"Gum, would be perfection."

Perfect.  Well, at least for a set and a half, he was.

 

I mean, wow.  This match was an amazing reminder of what Nole can do when he's firing on all cylinders.  As Rafa acknowledged after the 62 63 loss, he didn't play poorly.  Nole was just *that* good.  I was giggling like schoolgirl watching some of the winners he came up with.  Keep it going, Falcon!

 

Nole won't have the crowd behind him for the final, as LaMonf outlasted Radek in a 64 57 64 win.  Nole should take this but you just never know with Gael.  Unpredictable, that one.

Oh, and before I forget, Nole and Rafa's wins in the quarterfinals guaranteed the 8th WTF spot to FeVer.  Get your chastity belts out, London.  Papa's come to play.

Chunnel, 2 Tickets, Please.

Anxious to get home to Kim, I see.

A tired Muzz fell to Steps in three, 16 63 64.  Hungover from the Marat celebrations, perhaps?

For better or worse, Andy wasn't the only seed to fall today, as Kolya and FeVer both lost.  The good news for Kolya?  Fer's loss guarantees Kolya the 7th spot in London.  So watch out, ladies.  Kolya's coming to London and he's...oh, Irina's coming too?  Uh, nevermind.

Fernando's in a tougher position.  He'll have to see how Paris plays out to determine his fate.  If I read the ATP's chart right, Fer is eliminated if Sod makes the finals, or if Jo wins the tournament.  Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Heart of Lion, Body of A One-Legged Chicken

(Couldn't find a pic from today.  So we're going to go with this one.)

I have no idea how Commodus survived this match, but big ups to him.  After splitting the first two sets against Lubes, Gilles suffered a rough knee injury in the third set that required him to call a trainer in the middle of the game.  He was hobbling and really, had no business continuing to play, and had it been a tournament in any other city I'm sure he would have retired.  But he gamed up and finished the match.  He somehow kept holding serve to force a tiebreak, and in that tiebreak he played extremely intelligent tennis to take the match.  I don't know what happened to Lubes.  You'd think he'd start moving Gilly around but he didn't.  He just kept puffing the ball back with no pace in the middle of the court.  It was so odd.

Afterwards, Gilles seemed almost embarrased about the win.  It isn't clear whether he'll be able to play his next match. 

Earler, Fernando survived a scare and kept his WTF dreams alive by gutting out a three set win over Seppi.  Don't fuck this up, Fer.  I want to see you in London.

Oh, and before I forget, what the fuck, Feli?

Singles - Second Round
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d B Becker (GER) 62 61
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 67(3) 64 64
[8] J Tsonga (FRA) d A Montanes (ESP) 61 75
[11] G Simon (FRA) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 63 36 76(4)

Singles - First Round
N Almagro (ESP) d M Chiudinelli (SUI) 62 64
[Q] D Guez (FRA) d S Wawrinka (SUI) 63 64
J Monaco (ARG) d J Chardy (FRA) 76(6) 75
J Benneteau (FRA) d P Petzschner (GER) 46 75 63
[Q] A Clement (FRA) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 61

Rough Day

Tough day for both Fernando and Kolya, who are still trying to secure spots to the WTF.  Fer was able to come back from dropping to take the second, only to play one bad game in the third to lose 63 26 63.  Too bad.  He really wanted to impress the home crowd on this one.

Kolya on the other hand took the first set only to drop the next two, 64 63.  So the two who are still playing for something get bounced on the same day.  On to Bercy!

 

Go get 'em, Muzz.

Russians, Muzzard, and an Ill-Fitting Hat.

Fer in, Tommy out.  No real surprise there.  It was a clean kill.  But I love with Sergio Tachini decides to abandon navy blue and rock out some colors.  And I LOVE Tommy's red and white kit. 

Same goes for Fred Perry.  Love the red accents on Muzz's kit, even if it looks like Muzz is bleeding from the pits.  He also had a clean win, 4 and 2 over Montanes.

And of course, the Russians are in the mix.  Koyla took out Garcia Lopez in straights and Mischa upset Gilles, 4 and 4.  They'll face off in the other semi.

I love it when Gilles gets all veiny.  It makes me laugh.

Pic This: Giving Kids The FeVer

Daddies in Valencia, lock up your daughters. 

FeVer's in town and he has no mercy.

Shanghai Surprises

First, quality guy Ivan Ljubicic beats Nando.  Huh?  Hardly anyone loses to Ljubicic anymore.

 

I didn't see any of it, but from what I've read it sounds like he was playing terribly.  And was in a terrible mood.  I think maybe his hair is having an opposite Samson effect on him.  (Seriously, he pulled out of his doubles match with a knee injury, so there is that.)

Then there was Feli beating Dah-veed, which seems less surprising since Dah-veed is so wildly inconsistent these days, but then... it's Feli.  Who is pretty, but for most of this year hasn't really served any other purpose.

 

There's so much to say about this that I don't even know where to start.  Oh, Feli.  The shorts.

Then, there were the retirements.  JMDP made it about a set and a quarter against Melzer before he gave up the ghost (wrist injury) and Tommy H made it one set against Rainer Schuettler before calling it a day (shoulder).  I'm watching the JMDP match now and it's painful; MoLay in the chair is definitely the highlight.  All the absences, retirements and injuries in Shanghai are beginning to make it look like an actual battlefield.  Any day now, I expect someone's leg to actually fall off.

Singles - Second Round

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d J Blake (USA) 62 67(4) 64

[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] F Fognini (ITA) 63 61 
J Melzer (AUT) d [3] J del Potro (ARG) 75 21 ret. (right wrist)
[5] J Tsonga (FRA) d [WC] S Zeng (CHN) 63 63 
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [7] F Verdasco (ESP) 64 76(6)
[8] G Simon (FRA) d V Troicki (SRB) 63 64
[9] R Soderling (SWE) d N Almagro (ESP) 64 75
[11] G Monfils (FRA) d L Hewitt (AUS) 46 64 62
[14] T Robredo (ESP) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 46 76(10) 64 - Saved 3 M.P.
[Q] R Schuettler (GER) d [15] T Haas (GER) 64 ret. (right shoulder)
F Lopez (ESP) d [16] D Ferrer (ESP) 46 75 61 
T Berdych (CZE) d [WC] M Safin (RUS) 36 64 64

Pic This: They Didn't Have This on that Shinkansen I Took in Tokyo

I truly believe that the ATP and WTA's combined mission to force their players to play "tennis" on every ridiculous surface imagineable (helipads, fountains, water, on top of cars...) knows no bounds.  Today's victims?  Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Fernando Verdasco, and a Maglev train.

 

 

LOLZ, Nando, what the hell is that pose about?

 

Jo-Willy looks like he's afraid he's about to get shat on by a bird.

 

Contemplating how he will never get roped into doing anything like this again.  At least, not until January.

(Yes, yes, of course there's video...)

Friends, Countrymen

Lots of hot intracountry action on the men's side as Fer took out JCF and Nole beat Viktor.

Pretty.

Singles - Second Round
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d V Troicki (SRB) 63 60 
[4] N Davydenko (RUS) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 61 60
[5] F Verdasco (ESP) d J Ferrero (ESP) 75 64
[8] [WC] M Cilic (CRO) d J Benneteau (FRA) 62 26 60

Oh, FeVer. Don't Change.

Well, I mean get better and start believing that you can beat the top 5 players. And cut your hair. It was way cuter when you had the fauxhawk and didn't look like Ponch. But you, know, otherwise, we're cool.

Formulaic

It's #1 vs. #2 in Kuala Lumpur, as Kolya rallied to beat General Sod 16 76 62, and Fer took out Gonzo 64 75.

 

Gonzo was...not pleased.

"Sleepless long nights, that is what my youth was for."

 

While Tokyo's tourney director is probably still in the hospital recovering from a panic attack, KL's tourney director has to be feeling pretty darn good right now.  They've done a great job with the promo stuff and now they've backed it up with quality tennis, as the top four seeds have made the semis. 

Nice run by Reeshard, by the way.  Some quality wins on the way to the quarters and he gave Fer a tough match.  Good job, Coke Head.

On a somewhat unrelated note, check out this remix of "1234".  I hear at at Barney's with the best gay and we may have had a little dance party in the men's shoe department.

Pic This: Puff Daddy and J-Lo Hit Kuala Lumpur

Pic from HCFoo. 

Be sure to check out his site this week (if you don't already do so) as he covers the KL tournament.  He's got some great exclusive stuff so far.

Pic This: Book 'Em, Danno.

 

Please don't get ass-raped by Fed.  Not sure I could take another one of those.

Weird.  My boyfriend has that distant look in his eyes when I give him a handjob, too.

*whispers*

That's not Sanowa, Richard.

Fairly certain my abs would snap in two attempting this.

 

You know, it's a good thing that my blog is way classier than Perez Hilton's, because I could MS Paint a pretty awesome lollipop there.

Well Hello, Semis. It's Been Awhile. Have You Lost Weight?

Orange you glad I didn't eat your banana?

 

Tough luck for FeVer.  He did well to take the second set after fighting in the first, but towards the end of the third he started struggling with an ab injury.  Apparently his cut and paste tape job wasn't helping things.

And so Nole books a spot in the semis of a Slam for the first time this year.

 

Soar, Falcon.  Be free.

Creepy Stalker Roaming The USO Grounds

Love All made time out of her busy Alias The Musical understudy schedule to roam the hallowed grounds of the BJKERJLCMAKNTC on Sunday.  Given the grounds pass and a camera, of course she made a beeline for Conchita Martinez.

 

Seriously, dude?

 

Goth Bols and Seppi checking out Fiona's fine breeder hips.

 

Oh come on.  Like you need me to identify that arm.

Pic This: Work It

Today was Labor Day in the states, which means no working, lots of out of towning, and, if you're in the Bay Area, lots of trying to figure out how the hell you're supposed to get to a BBQ in the East Bay when the Bay Bridge is shut down.  Let's just say Tommy wasn't the only one with that look this weekend.

But while we were being lazy bums, the action in NYC kept rolling.

 

Doesn't this look like a "Pic This" pic?  But I can't think of the perfect caption, even though it's begging for one.  Kinda like how Caro's begging to get f'd in the a. 

Oh, look!  Caption!

Smug little bastard.

 

The Sex expert.

 

This is Yanina Wickmayer.  She is a quarterfinalist.  Or something.

Fightin' Fer

 

Fernando survived a 3 hour and 45 minute match that saw 101 unforced errors, untimely double faults, and just generally substandard play.  But again, survive and move on.  It would have really sucked if Fer got dumped early.

"I Wanna Rock With You, All Night..."

Aww...Tax does her best Michael Jackson impression.

 

Ooga Chakka Ooga Chakka Ooga Chakka...

 

Focus on your tennis and stop practicing making out with your girlfriend, Tomas.

 

You know what, dude?  You deserve to lose if you're going to wear those sunglasses.

Homecoming King and Queen

It was a good weekend for the Bunny Ranch, as their two top stars came out on top.  Fernando played a solid match to beat a tired Sam in straight sets, and Caro overwhelmed Vezzie to defend her title.  This is Fer's third career title and first of the year, and sixth and third for Boots.

Congrats.  Have fun crashing out of the USO early.

 

You Fail, Yale.

Be happy, Flavia.  At least you don't have to stay around for this clusterfucked tournament anymore and you can get on with focusing on the USO.

The rain has wreaked absolute havoc on New Haven and I feel pretty bad for everyone (especially the guys) who've actually made it deep into the tournament.  At least the ladies were able to get their semifinal matches completed late yesterday, with Caro ending Flavs' charge for the US Open Series title and Vezzie taking out Momes.  

 

But the guys had to come out Saturday morning to finish their semifinal matches and will turn around to play the final TONIGHT.  That's right, Sam and FeVer came out this morning and won their matches over Chucho and Igor, respectively, and they'll play each other in the final in a few hours.  

You know, because the best preparation for a grueling US Open is to play two matches in one day only two days before Main Draw play begins.  Here's hoping the USO organizers cut them some slack when they do their scheduling.

Here's the AP story on the whole mess.

Held Back.

I almost think it's kinda cruel to have this tourney right before the USO.  No one's paying attention, really.  It's almost like these kids got held back and had to take summer school or something. 

On the other hand, it's easy money if you can get it, as the field isn't particularly strong and the top players aren't particularly focused.  So congrats to Igor, FeVer, and Sam for making the semis. 

As for the ladies, Caro exacted revenge over Razzano, whose black magic powers were all used up across the pond.  Vesnina took out Chakky and Flavs is in the semis after beating Rybarikova.  If Flavs wins the whole thing she'll be the USO Series champion.  So that's something to look forward to.

Catch The FeVer

That is Fernando Verdasco.  He is wearing a hat.  On the hat?

FeVer.

My new twitter buddy, Sabrina215 tweeted this to me yesterday and I seriously was in shock.  I sat in disbelief.  Because I like Fer.  I really do.  But this is way worse than "RF".  Why you ask? 

BECAUSE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR INITIALS!  NOR IS IT A NICKNAME!  YOU MADE IT UP!

Oh, and the story gets better.  Apparently Sabrina and her friend asked FeVer's dad where they could get one.  Daddy FeVer's response?  They're working on it. 

Thanks again to Sabrina for the pic.  And all credit to her friend Amanda for snapping it.  Well done, ladies.

Bad From Every Angle

Wasn't it Brad Gilbert who told A-Rod to ditch the visor early in his career because no one fears a dude in a visor?  Yeah, for once, BG was right.

Dude got bounced by Garcia Lopez in two tight sets, 76 76. 

And you *know* the visor made all the difference.


With Elf's withdrawal and Fernando's upset, Muzzard has a straight shot to the semis.

Don't fuck this up, Ramjet.

No Wonder Ana and Fer Got Along

You'd never know who won this match based on the picture. 

But it was Andy, who weathered a strong charge by Fer.  It was obviously a tight match but at 5-5 in the third, Andy broke Fernando (who basically choked that game away) to serve for the match. 

But Fer manned up, saved two match points, and broke back to force a tiebreak (aided by a broken string on match point).  He would go on to completely outmuscle Andy on the first two points of the tiebreak and he seemed to have the momentum.  But Andy was able to right the ship and Fernando calmed down, which meant that Andy took the tiebreak 75.

Which brings us to everyone's favorite rematch of rematches:

Someone just shoot me now.

I Gotta Feeling, That Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night.

Pics from last night's Montreal player party. 

Or at least pics of players who actually kept their clothes on during the party. 


That's a lot of look, Tommy.  A lot of look.


The hair.  It kills me, Fer.


That's just a whole lotta adorable.


Does the ATP have a Manorexia problem?  Carbs a good thing, boys.


Oh, Andy. 

You were totally beat with an ugly stick but I heart you lots.

My Mind Is Sayin' Yes, But My Body's Sayin' No.

Fer had to retire against Pico in the semifinals of the Swedish Open due to a calf strain.  According to Maz, he wooked tyewd.  Get thee to the Bunny Ranch, dude.  Or you know, Miami.  Take some time off.  Just don't hook up with any girls (or guys) named "Pamela".

BTW -- I totally thought the title of this post was a line from "Genie In Bottle".  Then I looked it (because occasionally, just occasionally, I try and "fact check") and realized I was wrong.  And then I was really happy that I was wrong.  Indie Cred 92%.

Pic This: BOYS!!!

Feli is really the GOAT of celebratory groping.  It's a gift.


Obligatory.


Bonus!


If anyone knows what Pico's feeling, it's Chucho.  Come back soon, Fatty.


Hulk!Elf.


The Sex.  Recognize.


"Bring me the finest McFlurry in all the land!!!"


I assure you sir, the answers are not up there.


Do you think the Czech team ever thinks "Yeah, that dude has gone too far"?


"Baby you can drive my car.  Yes I'm gonna be a star.  Baby you can drive my car, and maybe I love you." 


Ok, yeah.  I just threw up in my mouth a bit.


Yup.  That's about right.

"ZOMG! I Just Sold Our 10 Billionth Happy Meal!"

Needless to say, Spain is up 2-1.

It's Never Boring When Techno's Involved

Spain and Germany ended Day 1 locked in a 1-1 draw after their #1s took care of business.  It took Fer 5 SETS to take out Andreas Beck, who just flat our ran out of gas.  How do you lose the next two sets 2 and 1 after you just won a tiebreaker to take a 2-1 lead?

Meanwhile, in a pretty impressive result on clay, PEHK beat Tommy in straight sets. 

Bring on Team Pretty for dubs!

Vamos!

 

Man, you become a Davis Cup hero and all of a sudden it's shits and giggles all the time.

At least he got Tommy to smile.  That's nice.

Fernando's the man this week, as he's scheduled to play singles and doubles.  And with the way his teammates have been playing lately, don't be surprised if he does have to suit up on Sunday.  He'll kick things off against Beck tomorrow and possibly play Techno on Sunday.

Costa has benched Feli in singles, opting with Tommy instead.  Probably a good move there.

Pic This: Do You Think The Baby Oil Makes His Hands Slippery?

God.  That skin.  Amaze.

Team Hotness...and Some Germans.

Spain, sans Rafa, is at home to take on Team BMW.  Why does Tommy look so weird?  And what, no love for the team, JCF?

Fer's wearing caps now?  DUDE!  Don't fuck with the hair!


Oh, Techno.  Your smuggy looks will always make me giggle.  My heart is yours forever.

"You, Doin' That Thing You Do..."

Oh, Fernando. 

Pic This: If It Ain't Broke...

Why, Fer?  Why did you go gel today?  I thought athletes were superstitious.

Pic This: "Lookin' For Fun and Feelin' Groovaaaaay..."

She looks so happy!  [squeal!]


Look!  Whatshernameova is into the fourth round of Wimbledon.  Crazy.


I feel ya, hair.  I feel ya.


Yes, Fer.  You're SO pretty.  Move on. 


Oh look.  You did.  Congrats.


This is the same look I had when I saw "Thriller" for the first time when I was 5.  Literally.


Hey Ladies, do you have that not-so-fresh feeling?

You're welcome.


Hehe.  Dudi.


Dudes.  Tranny vs. Gypsy on Monday. 

If you feel a cold wind blowin, London, you know why.


You creep me out, TechnoKing.  You creep me out.


Sara Foster tries to combine the best traits from Mirka and Kim and fails miserably. 

Is that Blackberry from 2005?  Hey oh!


Aw.  Much love, losers.


I TAKE IT BACK!  PUT ON THE VEST!  PUT ON THE VEST!

Pic This: Feel Good Edition.

Wow.  Those guys are really talented.  You really have to keep your head still.


I could just drink a whole bottle of vodka off that.  After I do my laundry, of course.


Uh...don't you have a "not feeling too good" wife to get to? 

Can't you survey your conquered kingdom another time?


Round 2, Phil.  Round 2.

Props to AiRon Woman.  She is a thousand years old, this is her gajillionth Slam, and she's into the third round.  Unfortunately she's going to have to crush the soul of her BFF in the next round.

Jesus, are they teaching everyone at the Bunny Ranch the Jackknife Pump?


I just can't get over that hair.  Seriously, kid, give you big brother my number, k?


So...I'm going to go out on a limb and say the competitive fire hasn't died.


I don't know why but pics of an exhausted Mono always crack me up.


Word.


Fair and balanced.


A smiling Dani will always warm the cockles of my cold dead soul. 

Or at least the black cavity where my soul used to be. 

Obligatory Nole shot for donkeygrooming, seeing as how her other two faves are now out of the tourney.

He covered up the GOATknuckle!  Mirka totally reads Forty Deuce, y'all.


Man.  Vika looks weird.

This totally endeared me to Tommy, who I have always felt bad for but never really felt *anything* for.  A really cool unscripted moment.

Ack!  Mirka shaved her head!!!

Pic This: Aww...Are you Fernando's Little Brother?

Look at that baby face! 

But sorry, I still like my Nando greased up and wielding a Sig Sauer.

Fer went through in straight sets.

Pic This: Wimbly Warmup

 
I've been a bit lazy with Wimbly practice pics.  I shall try and make amends now.


There's been a bit of ankle grabbing going on during the practice sessions.  Both Serena and Blah were having some trouble with their footing and weren't looking particularly comfortable.


So what do you guys think?  Are you taking Williams sisters or the field? 


Fed's been looking relaxed, no surprise as to why.  Lots of laughs with the boys.


Nole on the other hand seems to have been Mr. Serious on the practice courts. 


Is Nole planning to rock a sweater vest?


Obligatory "A-Rod Looks So Fucking American" pic.


Lots of folks picking Shazzy to at least make the semis. 


Just cuz.

 
gomuzz [/whisper]

Sniper! Sniper!!!

The seeds went atumbling today.  #2, 3, and 4 are out of Eastbourne. 

I'm not entirely sure how a struggling Chakky beats a well-rested JJ on grass in the first round.  But it happened.  And it was a head scratcher.  JJ blamed the change in surface and lack of motivation:

"It took me a while to get the rhythm out there.  And then for some reason from staying so low and getting those low balls my legs got so tight and so tired, and especially in the third set I didn't have the energy in my legs anymore to bend down."

"It was obviously my first match on grass. I'll play Wimbledon and then we'll see. At least I can take a few weeks off then. I wish I could take a break now. I need to get to where I want to play tennis again."

Yikes.

Another head scratcher?  Not that Kuz lost to CanWoz, but that she got bageled in the first set and only took three games off of her.  But we'll cut The Kuz some slack here.  She's not a robot:

"I played for two months on clay and I have it almost in my blood.  I don't have to think about the tactics. I know how to defend, how to attack and what time; how to serve and this and that. And on this surface, everything is opposite. For me, it's too much to change in three days."

The less shocking upset of the day was Momo over Bepa in three.  Nice to see that while Bepa has added much needed strapping to her ankles, she has not gone away from her Casper routine.  I'm just shocked her towel wasn't blue.  Then she'd be *completely* invisible, just like she likes it.

Also losing today? Domi, Sorana, and AKO.  You know who didn't lose?  Dina, who bageled and 3'd ALG.  And no I'm not surprised that it's been over 2 hours since that match ended and there is no story in my newsfeed abou this.

As for the boys, both the top two seeds are out of Eastbourne S'Hitogenbosch.  Fer, lover of grass, lost to Benjamin Becker and Tommy Boredo (I can call him that now that we're off clay) lost to MAR-COS BagDAHtis *clapclapclapclapclap*.

Over in Eastbourne, Igor (top seeded Igor?) followed his ladyfriend out of the tournament,  losing to Fancy Dancy.  Nice day for the Canucks.

Eastbourne Results

Women
Singles – First Round

Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (2/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 60 63
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. (3) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 67(5) 63 62
Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) d. (4) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 63 16 63
(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 62
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Urszula Radwanska (POL) 61 61
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 61
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 67(6) 75 64
(Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. (Q) Jarmila Groth (SVK) 76(7) 61

Doubles – First Round
(4) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. Chuang/Mirza (TPE/IND) 75 64
Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) d. Senoglu/Yan (TUR/CHN) 61 64
King/Zheng (USA/CHN) d. Kleybanova/Makarova (RUS/RUS) 76(7) 63

Men
Singles - Second Round
[4] F Santoro (FRA) d R Ginepri (USA) 46 64 61
[8] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d Y Lu (TPE) 64 67(0) 76(3)
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [WC] J Goodall (GBR) 63 75
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d [Q] B Klein (AUS) 76(5) 61

Singles - First Round
[Q] F Dancevic (CAN) d [1] I Andreev (RUS) 76(6) 62
J Benneteau (FRA) d [5] M Youzhny (RUS) 46 64 64

Doubles - First Round
M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d [1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 61 76(3)
L Arnold Ker (ARG) / M Kohlmann (GER) d A Seppi (ITA) / L Zovko (CRO) 64 36 10-6
[WC] C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) d M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) 64 46 10-8
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) d J Benneteau (FRA) / F Santoro (FRA) 62 61
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) vs [WC] J Erlich (ISR) / J Murray (GBR) 46 76(6) - to finish Wednesday

S'Hitogenbosch Results

Women:
Singles - Second Round
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Ksenia Pervak (RUS) 61 61
(WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (4) Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 64 63
Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) d. (7) Iveta Benesova (CZE) 63 61
Kristina Barrois (GER) d. (WC) Michaella Krajicek (NED) 64 63

Singles - First Round

(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 60 63
Nathalie Dechy (FRA) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 63 36 63
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Stéphanie Foretz (FRA) 64 67(1) 63

Doubles - First Round
Lefèvre/Védy (FRA/FRA) d. (WC) Flipkens/Kerkhove (BEL/NED) 62 64

Men:
Singles - Second Round
[Q] B Becker (GER) d [1] F Verdasco (ESP) 75 76(4)
D Sela (ISR) d [5] I Kunitsyn (RUS) 64 63
I Navarro (ESP) d [6] M Gicquel (FRA) 64 36 75
M Llodra (FRA)d [Q] K Vliegen (BEL) vs 62 63

Singles - First Round
M Baghdatis (CYP) d [2] T Robredo (ESP) 75 62
[Q] T de Bakker (NED) d B Phau (GER) 76(3) 26 63

Doubles - First Round
[1] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) d [WC] T de Bakker (NED) / J Huta Galung (NED) 64 76(5)
[WC] R Sluiter (NED) / P Wessels (NED) d [2] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 76(3) 67(4) 10-4
[3] C Kas (GER) / P Petzschner (GER) d O Hernandez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) 67(2) 63 10-8
J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) d D Vemic (SRB) / M Zverev (GER) 76(8) 62
O Marach (AUT) / D Skoch (CZE) d P Andujar (ESP) / D Ferrer (ESP) 62 63
A Clement (FRA) / M Gicquel (FRA) d R Wassen (NED) / I Zelenay (SVK) 64 62

Pic This: Ok, You've Taken This Jack Bauer Thing WAY Too Far.

What could that guy have possibly done to deserve Fer's wrath?

Clearly he didn't steal his gel.

Halle At Your Boys

I'm so excited (scared!) to see how these two do on grass.  Obviously we know Nole's got the game to do it but Jo's a totally unknown quantity.  He's only played Wimbly once but he made the quarterfinals.  So I take comfort in that.  And his game is just so fantastically suited for grass.  I'd actually love to see him play Fed on grass.  That could be fun.

Both guys started their grass campaigns off right in Halle, making it through their first rounds with ease.

The same cannot be said for Fer, who lost to Philip Petzschner(!) in three sets, 36 76(5) 64.  On the TTC Wimbly preview Nando said he loved grass and loved playing on it.  I found that really really odd seeing as how his take back on his forehand takes some time to develop and he *still* refuses to bomb his serve.  I'm going to chalk this loss up to Philip riding the hometown wave of support.

Singles - First Round
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d S Bolelli (ITA) 75 62
P Petzschner (GER) d [3] F Verdasco (ESP) 36 76(5) 64
[4] J Tsonga (FRA) d F Santoro (FRA) 75 62
[7] J Melzer (AUT) d A Clement (FRA) 16 63 62
[WC] M Zverev (GER) d [Q] J Sirianni (AUS) 62 64
[Q] O Rochus (BEL) d [Q] F Vicente (ESP) 60 60
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d B Phau (GER) 64 62
N Kiefer (GER) d V Troicki (SRB) 62 61
A Beck (GER) d C Rochus (BEL) 63 61

Pic This: Fer Has A Really Big Gun. No Metaphor.

Fernando pulls this one off a little too well for my taste. 


A valiant attempt to make gruel sexy.  Sorry, Gruel Chefs of America. 

Maybe try Jolie?

I tried really hard to piece together the movie plot for all these shots.  I mean, there *has* to be a narrative embedded somewhere, right?  But it ended up being a Pulp Fiction meets Chow Yun Fat meets Oceans Eleven meets Cool Hand Luke thing, which *sounds* awesome in theory, but yeah...not so much.

I welcome y'all to try.  It's a fun little game.

Thanks to Amanda for sending these.

CTRL-D

Thanks to the best gay for sending this along.  Nice to see the hot boys of tennis getting the love and respect they deserve.

But no Goth Bols or Janko?  Blasphemy!

Pic This: Good Things *Did* Happen Today.

Here's the thing.  As much as it sucked that Rafa lost at least now we have an interesting tournament on the men's side.  I honestly have no idea how thing's are going to shake out.

Must be weird to actually have the Parisians on your side.


Kolya's got your balls.  Tough for Fer.  Really thought he'd make a run here.

 
Nice to see Muzz saluting his fallen Falcon friend and rocking the White Hat of Dorkitude. 
And looking hot in it, I might add.


Ruh roh.  Dina's beauty salon is open for business.  Kid's getting ready for her closeup.


Show me where the bad man touched you, Marin.


Well, Viko, have the lambs stopped screaming?


At first I thought this pic was stitched together.  Something about it looks surreal.


Nice to see Jay-Z still in the tourney, even if for dubs.  Lavender Jie has a calming effect on me.


You *should* hide your face, Agnes.  That was just sorry.

Pic This: So What'd I Miss During My 72 Hour All Nighter?

It's a good day to be Agnes.


We get it.  You're *so* pretty.  Stop.


Something about Pavs is very Mini-Dina.  I can't stop lolling.


Suspect.


Jesus!!!


Devil. 

They are often dressed the same.  Some might argue they have the same sponsor.

Yeah, wrap you little heads around that one, kiddies.  Suck it, C.S. Lewis!


"Pass the dutchie 'round the left hand side, Pass the dutchie on the left hand side."


Show off.


Man.  The 'coon eyes need to go.


Oh, look at you pounding on your heart.  I just want to give you a noogie.


Ana.  Tongue.  Wrinkly Sausage Finger Man Hands. 

You're welcome, boys.


Masha/Dina semis?  Masha/Ana semis?  The world is your oyster.


Gilles Simon: The Daniela Hantuchova of the ATP.  Wear some bike shorts or something. 


I want to go to there.  Minus the RogerSex.  But otherwise, YES.


I'm going to pretend that's Mo in the chair.  Because that makes it 700,000% awesomer.


Never Forget.