But where are the top hats and monocles? Talk about a missed opportunity.
Either that or this is a brilliant viral marketing campaign by Planters, a la this.
Ok, I'll stop fawning but I love love LOVE the ties the ATP made for them. The hunter green and grey? Swoony McSwoonerson over here.
Aaaaaand I've stopped swooning. Thanks, BonerKillerer.
I will say this about Fed. I'm glad he's procreating so that he can pass on that head of hair.
Ahem. No kids yet for Kolya. No coincidence I'm sure.
I wonder if Simon Fuller, at some point, will drug Muzz, throw him into the back of a van, drive him to some dark alley, and get a one eyed Asian dentist in a wheelchair to fix his teeth. Because boy, those things ruin a lot of pics. That said, they're also why I love him. I know, I'm not right in the head.
Rafa looks so different from picture to picture. Does the dampness of his hair make *that* much of a difference?
It's weird to see Andy actually look bigger than Rafa.
Oh yeah. This guy.
If Shanghai made the boys look like Hitmen, London has turned them all into the most mischievous group of prep school kids this side of Manhattan. And I LOVE it.
The battle for Class President begins here.
Nice to see Rafa's hair decided to dry for this pic.
The faves. Or so "they" say.
Not sure why I can't find his stock picture. Did someone arrive a little late to the party?
Perfect. Well, at least for a set and a half, he was.
I mean, wow. This match was an amazing reminder of what Nole can do when he's firing on all cylinders. As Rafa acknowledged after the 62 63 loss, he didn't play poorly. Nole was just *that* good. I was giggling like schoolgirl watching some of the winners he came up with. Keep it going, Falcon!
Nole won't have the crowd behind him for the final, as LaMonf outlasted Radek in a 64 57 64 win. Nole should take this but you just never know with Gael. Unpredictable, that one.
Oh, and before I forget, Nole and Rafa's wins in the quarterfinals guaranteed the 8th WTF spot to FeVer. Get your chastity belts out, London. Papa's come to play.
Anxious to get home to Kim, I see.
A tired Muzz fell to Steps in three, 16 63 64. Hungover from the Marat celebrations, perhaps?
For better or worse, Andy wasn't the only seed to fall today, as Kolya and FeVer both lost. The good news for Kolya? Fer's loss guarantees Kolya the 7th spot in London. So watch out, ladies. Kolya's coming to London and he's...oh, Irina's coming too? Uh, nevermind.
Fernando's in a tougher position. He'll have to see how Paris plays out to determine his fate. If I read the ATP's chart right, Fer is eliminated if Sod makes the finals, or if Jo wins the tournament. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
(Couldn't find a pic from today. So we're going to go with this one.)
I have no idea how Commodus survived this match, but big ups to him. After splitting the first two sets against Lubes, Gilles suffered a rough knee injury in the third set that required him to call a trainer in the middle of the game. He was hobbling and really, had no business continuing to play, and had it been a tournament in any other city I'm sure he would have retired. But he gamed up and finished the match. He somehow kept holding serve to force a tiebreak, and in that tiebreak he played extremely intelligent tennis to take the match. I don't know what happened to Lubes. You'd think he'd start moving Gilly around but he didn't. He just kept puffing the ball back with no pace in the middle of the court. It was so odd.
Afterwards, Gilles seemed almost embarrased about the win. It isn't clear whether he'll be able to play his next match.
Earler, Fernando survived a scare and kept his WTF dreams alive by gutting out a three set win over Seppi. Don't fuck this up, Fer. I want to see you in London.
Oh, and before I forget, what the fuck, Feli?
Singles - Second Round
 N Davydenko (RUS) d B Becker (GER) 62 61
 F Verdasco (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 67(3) 64 64
 J Tsonga (FRA) d A Montanes (ESP) 61 75
 G Simon (FRA) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 63 36 76(4)
Singles - First Round
N Almagro (ESP) d M Chiudinelli (SUI) 62 64
[Q] D Guez (FRA) d S Wawrinka (SUI) 63 64
J Monaco (ARG) d J Chardy (FRA) 76(6) 75
J Benneteau (FRA) d P Petzschner (GER) 46 75 63
[Q] A Clement (FRA) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 61
Tough day for both Fernando and Kolya, who are still trying to secure spots to the WTF. Fer was able to come back from dropping to take the second, only to play one bad game in the third to lose 63 26 63. Too bad. He really wanted to impress the home crowd on this one.
Kolya on the other hand took the first set only to drop the next two, 64 63. So the two who are still playing for something get bounced on the same day. On to Bercy!
Fer in, Tommy out. No real surprise there. It was a clean kill. But I love with Sergio Tachini decides to abandon navy blue and rock out some colors. And I LOVE Tommy's red and white kit.
Same goes for Fred Perry. Love the red accents on Muzz's kit, even if it looks like Muzz is bleeding from the pits. He also had a clean win, 4 and 2 over Montanes.
And of course, the Russians are in the mix. Koyla took out Garcia Lopez in straights and Mischa upset Gilles, 4 and 4. They'll face off in the other semi.
First, quality guy Ivan Ljubicic beats Nando. Huh? Hardly anyone loses to Ljubicic anymore.
I truly believe that the ATP and WTA's combined mission to force their players to play "tennis" on every ridiculous surface imagineable (helipads, fountains, water, on top of cars...) knows no bounds. Today's victims? Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Fernando Verdasco, and a Maglev train.
Lots of hot intracountry action on the men's side as Fer took out JCF and Nole beat Viktor.
Singles - Second Round
 N Djokovic (SRB) d V Troicki (SRB) 63 60
 N Davydenko (RUS) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 61 60
 F Verdasco (ESP) d J Ferrero (ESP) 75 64
 [WC] M Cilic (CRO) d J Benneteau (FRA) 62 26 60
While Tokyo's tourney director is probably still in the hospital recovering from a panic attack, KL's tourney director has to be feeling pretty darn good right now. They've done a great job with the promo stuff and now they've backed it up with quality tennis, as the top four seeds have made the semis.
Nice run by Reeshard, by the way. Some quality wins on the way to the quarters and he gave Fer a tough match. Good job, Coke Head.
On a somewhat unrelated note, check out this remix of "1234". I hear at at Barney's with the best gay and we may have had a little dance party in the men's shoe department.
Pic from HCFoo.
Be sure to check out his site this week (if you don't already do so) as he covers the KL tournament. He's got some great exclusive stuff so far.
Please don't get ass-raped by Fed. Not sure I could take another one of those.
Weird. My boyfriend has that distant look in his eyes when I give him a handjob, too.
That's not Sanowa, Richard.
Fairly certain my abs would snap in two attempting this.
You know, it's a good thing that my blog is way classier than Perez Hilton's, because I could MS Paint a pretty awesome lollipop there.
Orange you glad I didn't eat your banana?
Tough luck for FeVer. He did well to take the second set after fighting in the first, but towards the end of the third he started struggling with an ab injury. Apparently his cut and paste tape job wasn't helping things.
And so Nole books a spot in the semis of a Slam for the first time this year.
Soar, Falcon. Be free.
Love All made time out of her busy Alias The Musical understudy schedule to roam the hallowed grounds of the BJKERJLCMAKNTC on Sunday. Given the grounds pass and a camera, of course she made a beeline for Conchita Martinez.
Goth Bols and Seppi checking out Fiona's fine breeder hips.
Oh come on. Like you need me to identify that arm.
Today was Labor Day in the states, which means no working, lots of out of towning, and, if you're in the Bay Area, lots of trying to figure out how the hell you're supposed to get to a BBQ in the East Bay when the Bay Bridge is shut down. Let's just say Tommy wasn't the only one with that look this weekend.
But while we were being lazy bums, the action in NYC kept rolling.
Doesn't this look like a "Pic This" pic? But I can't think of the perfect caption, even though it's begging for one. Kinda like how Caro's begging to get f'd in the a.
Oh, look! Caption!
Smug little bastard.
The Sex expert.
This is Yanina Wickmayer. She is a quarterfinalist. Or something.
It was a good weekend for the Bunny Ranch, as their two top stars came out on top. Fernando played a solid match to beat a tired Sam in straight sets, and Caro overwhelmed Vezzie to defend her title. This is Fer's third career title and first of the year, and sixth and third for Boots.
Congrats. Have fun crashing out of the USO early.
Be happy, Flavia. At least you don't have to stay around for this clusterfucked tournament anymore and you can get on with focusing on the USO.
The rain has wreaked absolute havoc on New Haven and I feel pretty bad for everyone (especially the guys) who've actually made it deep into the tournament. At least the ladies were able to get their semifinal matches completed late yesterday, with Caro ending Flavs' charge for the US Open Series title and Vezzie taking out Momes.
But the guys had to come out Saturday morning to finish their semifinal matches and will turn around to play the final TONIGHT. That's right, Sam and FeVer came out this morning and won their matches over Chucho and Igor, respectively, and they'll play each other in the final in a few hours.
You know, because the best preparation for a grueling US Open is to play two matches in one day only two days before Main Draw play begins. Here's hoping the USO organizers cut them some slack when they do their scheduling.
Here's the AP story on the whole mess.
I almost think it's kinda cruel to have this tourney right before the USO. No one's paying attention, really. It's almost like these kids got held back and had to take summer school or something.
As for the ladies, Caro exacted revenge over Razzano, whose black magic powers were all used up across the pond. Vesnina took out Chakky and Flavs is in the semis after beating Rybarikova. If Flavs wins the whole thing she'll be the USO Series champion. So that's something to look forward to.
You'd never know who won this match based on the picture.
But it was Andy, who weathered a strong charge by Fer. It was obviously a tight match but at 5-5 in the third, Andy broke Fernando (who basically choked that game away) to serve for the match.
But Fer manned up, saved two match points, and broke back to force a tiebreak (aided by a broken string on match point). He would go on to completely outmuscle Andy on the first two points of the tiebreak and he seemed to have the momentum. But Andy was able to right the ship and Fernando calmed down, which meant that Andy took the tiebreak 75.
Which brings us to everyone's favorite rematch of rematches:
Fer had to retire against Pico in the semifinals of the Swedish Open due to a calf strain. According to Maz, he wooked tyewd. Get thee to the Bunny Ranch, dude. Or you know, Miami. Take some time off. Just don't hook up with any girls (or guys) named "Pamela".
BTW -- I totally thought the title of this post was a line from "Genie In Bottle". Then I looked it (because occasionally, just occasionally, I try and "fact check") and realized I was wrong. And then I was really happy that I was wrong. Indie Cred 92%.
Spain and Germany ended Day 1 locked in a 1-1 draw after their #1s took care of business. It took Fer 5 SETS to take out Andreas Beck, who just flat our ran out of gas. How do you lose the next two sets 2 and 1 after you just won a tiebreaker to take a 2-1 lead?
Meanwhile, in a pretty impressive result on clay, PEHK beat Tommy in straight sets.
Bring on Team Pretty for dubs!
Man, you become a Davis Cup hero and all of a sudden it's shits and giggles all the time.
Fernando's the man this week, as he's scheduled to play singles and doubles. And with the way his teammates have been playing lately, don't be surprised if he does have to suit up on Sunday. He'll kick things off against Beck tomorrow and possibly play Techno on Sunday.
"It took me a while to get the rhythm out there. And then for some reason from staying so low and getting those low balls my legs got so tight and so tired, and especially in the third set I didn't have the energy in my legs anymore to bend down."
"I played for two months on clay and I have it almost in my blood. I don't have to think about the tactics. I know how to defend, how to attack and what time; how to serve and this and that. And on this surface, everything is opposite. For me, it's too much to change in three days."The less shocking upset of the day was Momo over Bepa in three. Nice to see that while Bepa has added much needed strapping to her ankles, she has not gone away from her Casper routine. I'm just shocked her towel wasn't blue. Then she'd be *completely* invisible, just like she likes it.
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (2/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 60 63
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. (3) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 67(5) 63 62
Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) d. (4) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 63 16 63
(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 62
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Urszula Radwanska (POL) 61 61
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 61
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 67(6) 75 64
(Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. (Q) Jarmila Groth (SVK) 76(7) 61
Singles - First Round
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 60 63
Nathalie Dechy (FRA) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 63 36 63
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Stéphanie Foretz (FRA) 64 67(1) 63
Doubles - First Round
Lefèvre/Védy (FRA/FRA) d. (WC) Flipkens/Kerkhove (BEL/NED) 62 64
I'm so excited (scared!) to see how these two do on grass. Obviously we know Nole's got the game to do it but Jo's a totally unknown quantity. He's only played Wimbly once but he made the quarterfinals. So I take comfort in that. And his game is just so fantastically suited for grass. I'd actually love to see him play Fed on grass. That could be fun.
Both guys started their grass campaigns off right in Halle, making it through their first rounds with ease.
The same cannot be said for Fer, who lost to Philip Petzschner(!) in three sets, 36 76(5) 64. On the TTC Wimbly preview Nando said he loved grass and loved playing on it. I found that really really odd seeing as how his take back on his forehand takes some time to develop and he *still* refuses to bomb his serve. I'm going to chalk this loss up to Philip riding the hometown wave of support.
Singles - First Round
 N Djokovic (SRB) d S Bolelli (ITA) 75 62
P Petzschner (GER) d  F Verdasco (ESP) 36 76(5) 64
 J Tsonga (FRA) d F Santoro (FRA) 75 62
 J Melzer (AUT) d A Clement (FRA) 16 63 62
[WC] M Zverev (GER) d [Q] J Sirianni (AUS) 62 64
[Q] O Rochus (BEL) d [Q] F Vicente (ESP) 60 60
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d B Phau (GER) 64 62
N Kiefer (GER) d V Troicki (SRB) 62 61
A Beck (GER) d C Rochus (BEL) 63 61
Thanks to the best gay for sending this along. Nice to see the hot boys of tennis getting the love and respect they deserve.
But no Goth Bols or Janko? Blasphemy!
Posted by C Note on May 29, 2009 in Agnes Szavay, Ana Ivanovic, Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, Andy Murray, David Ferrer, Dinara Safina, Elena Dementieva, Fernando Verdasco, Gilles Simon, Jelena Dokic, Maria Sharapova, Novak Djokovic, Pic This!, Roland Garros, Sorana Cirstea, The Mighty Fed, Victoria Azarenka | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBack (0)