Forty Deuce

Shanghai'd

It's so bizarre to be writing about these matches almost 24 hours after they happened.  Oh, Asian tennis.

It is just not right for someone to be that beautiful.  At least he won today, giving his Chinese devotees at least one more opportunity to enjoy the show.  They're really turning it out for his farewell tour, the signs in the audience are not quite as good as the Savage Garden lyrics in Beijing, but they're still pretty great.

 

"Just be yourself"?  Awesome.  And is that a... puppy in a dress on the bottom one?  [sigh]  It's not just Marat I'll miss, it's the insanity he generates.  Anyway, no major surprises today in Shanghai; all the seeds who played won, as did Stan and Blah.  Of course, all the seeds winning means we also got this:

 

... as Richie went out in straights to #16 seed Ferrer.  There was also the little matter of Ernie losing in straights to Fabio Fognini.  I'm sure it must have been something about the eyebrows.  Personally, I really believe that these two people must be the two must frustrating players to be a fan of, like, in the tennis universe.  How do people subsist for so long on nothing but unfulfilled talent?  Okay, I guess at least Ernie is still pretty young.  But Gasquet fans... that's some major devotion.

(Speaking of, I'm actually watching the rerun of Ferrer/Gasquet right now, and the commentators just described Dah-veed as "a very adequate volleyer".  That goes right under the heading "Damning with Faint Praise.")

Singles - First Round
[10] F Gonzalez (CHI) d M Zverev (GER) 75 67(0) 22 ret. (right wrist)
[13] R Stepanek (CZE) d J Ferrero (ESP) 63 60
[14] T Robredo (ESP) d [Q] M Llodra (FRA) 61 64
[16] D Ferrer (ESP) d R Gasquet (FRA) 64 63
J Blake (USA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 36 76(4) 63
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d [WC] M Gong (CHN) 64 64
S Wawrinka (SUI) [Q] L Kubot (POL) 26 76(5) 76(3)
[Q] F Mayer (GER) d P Petzschner (GER) 63 62
[Q] R Schuettler (GER) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 64 36 76(2)
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d [WC] E Gulbis (LAT) 76(3) 63
[Q] T Bellucci (BRA) d [Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) 76(3) 64

Bert and Ernie Take Tokyo

Nice win by Ernie over Steps and Reeshie's not losing early in tournaments.  I am pleased about this.

Singles - Second Round
[4] G Monfils (FRA) d [Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) 76(5) 63 
[7] S Wawrinka (SUI) d S Greul (GER) 63 62

Singles - First Round 
[2] J Tsonga (FRA) d M Zverev (GER) 64 63
[Q] E Gulbis (LAT) d [6] R Stepanek (CZE) 64 64
M Youzhny (RUS) d T Bellucci (BRA) 62 63
A Beck (GER) d R Schuettler (GER) 63 46 76(3)
J Monaco (ARG) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 50 ret. (illness)
R Gasquet (FRA) d P Petzschner (GER) 63 62

"The World Has Turned And Left Me Here."

While the ladies are imploding over in Tokyo, the guys aren't doing *that* much better.  The only difference is that the results are surprising, in a good way.

Marat, Ernie, and EvG all notched wins.  Weird.  Daveed and Lleyton well in KL, the latter not being surprising except for the fact that he lost to a qualifier.

Today's scores:

Bangkok:

Singles - First Round
M Safin (RUS) d [5] P Petzschner (GER) 62 36 61
[6] J Melzer (AUT) d M Daniel (BRA) 63 62
E Korolev (RUS) d [7] F Santoro (FRA) 46 76(4) 76(7) - Saved 2 M.P.
[Q] M Ilhan (TUR) d B Becker (GER) 46 76(4) 63
A Beck (GER) d [Q] E Roger-Vasselin (FRA) 75 76(1)
[Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 63 63
E Gulbis (LAT) d [WC] S Devvarman (IND) 76(7) 62
R Ginepri (USA) d [WC] D Udomchoke (THA) 64 63

KL:

Singles - First Round
[6] T Berdych (CZE) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 61 36 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [7] D Ferrer (ESP) 76(3) 62
[WC] J Johansson (SWE) d [8] L Hewitt (AUS) 76(7) 63
M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 63
[Q] R Bopanna (IND) d J Acasuso (ARG) 46 63 64
K Beck (SVK) d [Q] M Kukushkin (KAZ) 16 76(4) 63

Scuzzy Muzz

YOU'RE SUCH A LIAR!!!

 

He took a rough tumble in the third and left some skin on the court, but he withstood the at times brilliant and most times numbnut play of Ernie to take it 75 63 75.  It was actually a pretty entertaining match to watch.  Some spectacular shotmaking from both.

 

As for Ernie, yet another beautiful loss against a top 10 player on Arthur Ashe.  Bless, you idiot.

Pic This: Crazy Comes Out On Top

Ernie's crazy hair ruins this pic a bit, but congrats to the beautiful crazies
on their dubs win in Indy. 

Beautiful Loser

Dismissed by fat Marc Gicquel, 2 and 3 in the first round of Cincy.  Even the AFP is over Ernie.  Here's the photo caption:

Ernests Gulbis of Latvia serves the ball during the Indianapolis Tennis Championships at the Indianapolis Tennis Center in Indianapolis, Indiana. French seventh seed Marc Gicquel drove another spike into the heart of a losing season on Monday for once-promising Ernests Gulbis, hammering the Latvian 6-2, 6-3 to reach the second round at the ATP Indianapolis Championships.

Horrible sentence structure aside, it's pretty rare for the AFP to add editorial commentary to a fairly innocuous pic.

Why Can't All Match Summaries Be Like This.

Nice stuff from Tignor summarizing JJ, Ernie, and Alexa's matches.  Actual on the ground tennis reporting.  Love it.

Four Dudes On The Grassy Knoll

No upsets in Queens today, unless you're an idiot and think Ernie losing in the first round is an upset.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  *I'm* upset.  "It's* not.  That said, I'm sure someone will pick him as a sleeper for Wimbly.  And now that I've called person an idiot I'm sure Ernie will pull a LaMonf and march to the quarters just to spite me.  Which I would totally be ok with.

Looks like somebody got a brand spanking new set of ankle braces for Wimbledon.  How cute.

The American boys put a bold-face, underline, small caps, on their "WE HATE CLAY! WE LOVE GRASS.  IT AWARDS AGGRESSION" deal.  Blah, Sockless, Rod, and Sam all won.

Singles - Second Round
[2] A Roddick (USA) d K Vliegen (BEL) 61 64
[6] J Blake (USA) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 62 76(4)
[8] M Fish (USA) d M Llodra (FRA) 57 76(5) 63
[4] G Monfils (FRA) d A Golubev (KAZ) 63 36 76(5)
[10] F Lopez (ESP) d D Istomin (UZB) 76(3) 46 76(5)
S Querrey (USA) d [Q] K Anderson (RSA) 75 63

Singles - First Round
[9] I Karlovic (CRO) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 63 76(11)
A Martin (ESP) d [13] E Gulbis (LAT) 76(9) 64
J Ferrero (ESP) d [WC] S Grosjean (FRA) 62 21 ret. (right shoulder)
S Darcis (BEL) d P Capdeville (CHI) 36 63 64
J Benneteau (FRA) d D Koellerer (AUT) 63 64

Callin' Out.

All credit to ESPN for calling itself out.  From their 5 things we learned today feature:

1. Dinara Safina is playing like the favorite: Through two rounds she has lost a total of exactly … uh, two games -- in less than two hours. The No. 1-ranked Russian rolled qualifier Vitalia Diatchenko 6-1, 6-1. Since she ascended to the top spot, Safina has won 16 of her 17 matches on clay. She got to the final here a year ago and made the Australian Open final earlier this year. This, clearly, represents her best chance to join brother Marat as a Grand Slam champion.

Safina's coach, Zeljko Krajan -- naturally -- was again disappointed in her play.

"If one day he's going to be happy, I think I'll finish my career," she said. "He's never happy. Even today, he's not happy."

2. And Ana Ivanovic is starting to play like the defending champion: There have been some dicey moments this year -- like losing in the third round of the Australian Open and her second matches in Miami and Rome -- but her form seems to be returning.

Ivanovic torched Tamarine Tanasugarn 6-1, 6-2 and she said she thinks she can repeat at Roland Garros.

"I do," she said, "and I worked very hard for it and know I have a game."

3. ESPN.com's "experts" asleep at the wheel: The four women tabbed by six ESPN.com writers as sleepers -- Amelie Mauresmo (2), Patty Schnyder (2), Sabine Lisicki and Kaia Kanepi -- all lost in the first round. Sleepers, did we say sleepers? We meant to place them in the early-exit category.

"If Gulbis loses, I'm completely inept with my pre-tournament picks," said tennis writer Bonnie Ford, eyeing the scoreboard with disgust early in the day.

Ten minutes later, Ernests Gulbis -- Ford's male sleeper -- fell to Nicolas Almagro in four sets. What's the French word for inept?

"Incapable," said Ford, who speaks fluent French, explaining that the word is the same in both English and French.

4. Andy Roddick is the last American man standing: As a corollary to No. 3 -- and a public service, no doubt -- we are compelled to further mention that no fewer than four ESPN.com experts (who shall remain nameless) chose Roddick as their candidate for an early exit. With the loss by California native Robert Kendrick to Gilles Simon in the second round, 5-7, 0-6, 1-6, Roddick is the LAMS.

Did we mention that Simon and fellow Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who now appear to be in terrific form, were the other two early-exit choices?

Tapping Momo as a sleeper and Gilly and Jo as early exits weren't bad calls.  But Sabine?  Everyone knew she was pretty injured coming into RG.  Kaia Kanepi?  Uh...yeah...I don't know what that was about. 

But really, say it with me...ERNIE???

I guess I don't really understand how Bonnie Ford can be SO SHOCKED that Ernie lost.  My only guess is that while the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night to watch Ernie lose ever so beautifully (though let's face it, he hasn't been losing beautifully lately) Bonnie's doing the smart and rational thing and sleeping. 

Pfft.  Weak humans.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'...

I really kind of meant it in a "lookit all those straight set wins" kind of way, but then I found this...

... and this...

Ha.

That, of course, is the pride of Great Britain, taking a dive on his way to a tough 4-set victory over Potito Starace.  It's a good sign that he could tough out a win on a surface he's clearly uncomfortable on, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that RG 2009 is not where Muzz is going to have his Grand Slam breakthrough.  His next match, where he'll face either F-Lo or Tipsy, could be a real struggle for him.

Back to all those straight setters... Nando, Gilly, Marin, Gonzo and Victor Hanescu (okay...) are all through to the third round in straight sets.  Nando, Gilly, Gonzo and Marin had almost absurdly easy times of it out there, with Gilly in particular picking up speed as the match progressed.  Good for him, it would be great for him to be able to turn around his season a little at his home Slam.  Arnaud Clement, C-Roch and Nico Almagro are through in 4, the latter meaning that-- of course-- we must say goodbye to Ernie.  Oh Ernie.

On the women's side, Kristina Barrois is gunning for my personal "least favourite person" award for failing to take out Vika, even after being up two breaks in the first.  Oh well.  Agnes had an impressive 0 and 2 win over Lena V and Nails also had a competent win (1 and 4) over Timea Bacsinszky (known to me as the only player who wears more makeup than JJ).  The Cone managed to finish off her match from yesterday in 2, so good for her.  Pavs is also through, headband and all, in two sets over Julie Coin.

(Sorry for the rushed, picture-free quality of this post; I've got my goddaughter the rest of the day and somehow her mother didn't think "watch TV with Aunt Carrie" was the best idea for an activity.  Bummer.)

Pic This: RG Day 1

The RG Sunday start.  Nothing quite like it.


Not a great day for French ladies.  Mathilde blew 8 match points, all on her serve, double faulting on half them. 

Yeah, a bit nervy these French, no?


Uh uh.  No one gets into Allison "Mom Jeans" Lang's face.  No one.


Fired up Gilly is the hottest Gilly of all.


Quietly confident Muzz is most def the hottest Muzz of all.


Fed must have gotten a haircut.  Cuz I think he's cute again.

As for Pico...yeah....


 Yin and Yang. 

I just love Daveed's totally zen "Come to Jesus" look.  HOT.

 
Nice little keg you got going there, Lleyton.


Baby E's pigeontoedness can't be helping.  Still...I want her tan.


That is some impressive sweating, Ernie.  Well done.


ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?

Nicht So Gut.

Love Ernie's new kit. 

Sadly this is the last we'll be seeing it in Munich, as he went out to Colin Farrell.  Then B-Pow had to retire with a right hand injury.  And then DerEvKo had to go and lose to Chardy. 

Uh...yay, Misha?

Singles - First Round
[6] N Kiefer (GER) d E Gulbis (LAT) 26 63 62
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d B Phau (GER) 62 21 ret. - right hand
M Youzhny (RUS) d I Minar (CZE) 63 76(5)
J Chardy (FRA) d E Korolev (RUS) 63 63

Doubles - First Round
[4] R Bopanna (IND) / T Parrott (USA) d N Almagro (ESP) / S Prieto (ARG) 64 57 10-8
[WC] D Gremelmayr (GER) / D Meffert (GER) d P Marx (GER) / F Moser (GER) 36 63 10-1

Matty C Drops Some Knowledge

Interesting tidbit from Matt Cronin re Ernie:

The 20-year-old isn't feelings that hot these days, as he’s come down with a virus and is on antibiotics. He had to rehab a knee problem in the off-season while at his father’s vacation home in Hawaii (his family is very wealthy) and says he’s 4-5 months from a full recovery.

I also appreciated this insight, because I too was wondering about the Sharapova withdrawal stories that hit the news this week.  I kept having a heart attack thinking that she had announced her withdrawal from IW and Miami:

Due to the massive cutbacks in the publishing industry, reporting, or lack there of, has grown increasingly sketchy, while the editing, or the lack there of, has also hit the skids. How is it, for example, that two separate wire stories on Sharapova’s withdrawals from Paris and Dubai hit the news rolls a week apart and that the second one is being treated as a new story with real news value? How is it that it was reported that Sania Mirza pulled out of Fed Cup last week with a torn abdominal muscle and is back on court this week at the Pattaya Open. It must have been no more of a muscle strain.

Due to the lousy world economy, there are fewer on site reporters these days, which increases the size of the black hole of tennis reporting. Outside of the Slams, there are not enough common threads running through the sport, and fans are forced to guess as to the playing level and the lifestyles of the competitors. There are tons of fans blogs, and some of them are very good, but because they aren’t out there reporting, they are forced to rely on the same small information flow coming out of most tournaments and are forced to guess as to what’s really going on. Moreover, the tours are once again not doing a good enough job promoting their players and are frequently waiting for journalists to come to them rather than pitching interesting stories. They need to help the sport come alive, rather than watching it sleep post the Aussie Open.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

 
Fun times at the SAP Open last night.  Of course, it could have been a lot more fun if Ernie didn't serve like a moron, but whatever. 

 

Love All and I sat third row courtside, right by the player's entrance.  The row in front of us was empty and a number of players came out to watch and sat right in front of us. 

We were right behind Canas and Ginepri, and Haas and Querrey also hung around.  That was kinda cool.

The matches were drama filled for stupid reasons, primarily related to the poor line calling.  Elf went a little nuts on the umpire in the second set, slamming his racquet into the padding by the umpire's chair.  He then went off to sulk at the back of the court.  Sensing this as my moment, I yelled "Vamos!" pretty loudly (there weren't that many JMDP fans in the arena) .  All of a sudden Elf started spouting off in Spanish for a good 15-20 seconds.  I have no idea what he said but I'd like to believe that my well-timed "Vamos!" instigated it.

Elf is damn impressive to watch live.  The kid is tall and not as lanky as he seems on TV.  He's seems sturdier.  And boy can he cover the court.  I have no idea how he doesn't trip over those legs of his, but it's impressive.

 
As for Ernie/Andy, it really came down to Ernie just serving like crap.  Couldn't get a first serve in to save his life in the first set, and he couldn't get a second serve in a few times, throwing in back to back double faults eary in the first set. Twas a real shame he couldn't make more of a match of it.  There were about 4 of us in the crowd rooting for him.  Again, I got a lot of weird looks from the people sitting around us whenever I cheered for Ernie.

Andy was Andy.  His serve is ridiculous when you're sitting that close.  Seriously, you can't see the ball. 

The Andy/Ernie match ended on a weird note.  Andy served an ace that Ernie thought was out.  They had some words at the net and kept glaring at each other while they were packing up their things.  During his post-match interview Andy was asked what was said, to which he replied "Pleasantries.  You know it's Valentine's Day" or something to that effect.  Charming to some I'm sure.  Not to me.

You're not as funny as you think you are, Andy.  Just sayin'.

Capped off the night with a nice In 'n Out run.  Fun times.  Hopefully, depending on who makes the semis and final, I'll make it down there again this weekend.

Here are links to the rest of the pics:

http://tinyurl.com/am5fny
http://tinyurl.com/d3vkre
http://tinyurl.com/ajkjdr

I hope they work.  Let me know if they don't.

Here were the scores out of San Jose:

[1] A Roddick (USA) d E Gulbis (LAT) 63 76(3)
[2] J Del Potro (ARG) d K Nishikori (JPN) 62 62
[3] J Blake (USA) d F Serra (FRA) 64 63
[5] M Fish (USA) d [WC] J Isner (USA) 62 67(4) 75
[6] S Querrey (USA) d D Gremelmayr (GER) 63 62
[Q] T Widom (USA) d T Dent (USA) 67(5) 63 62

That's a lot of red, white and blue.

The Danny Pintauro of Latvia. But Slightly Less Gay.

In honor of my trek to see Grown Up Ernie tonight in San Jose, please sit back, dim the lights, pop some Jiffy Pop, grab some kleenex, and soak the glory that is...

Baby Ernie acting with his Mom is a Latvian movie.  Yes, you heard me correctly.

You know what the best part of that video is?  Vika's not in it. 

I'm warning you, woman.  Stay the eff away.

Ernie! STOP. IT.

WTF?  Ernie's out of Zagreb, losing to a qualifier, 76(3) 64.

I'm really starting to lose my patience with this kid.  He has the talent and the game to win these smaller 250 events and yet he goes on complete walkabout and seemingly can't focus. 

You know, Ernie.  You wouldn't get shit draws if you upped your ranking.  In case your coach hasn't told you, you can up your ranking BY WINNING MATCHES.

Sheesh.

Of course, all hell is breaking loose in Zagreb anyway, with Dr. Ivo and PHM also losing today.  Mario has yet to play.  Let's hope he doesn't catch the bug too. Nevermind.  He won, 61 61,

The Chokemeister.

Main Entry:

¹choke

Pronunciation:

\ˈchōk\

Function:

verb

Definition:
            Fifth set.  Serving to stay in the match at 40-love.  And you lose. 64 64 75 63 64.

Congrats to Mr. MaKiri.  Your long flowing locks must give you strength:

The Crazy Train Is Here To Stay

 

In the clash of young guns, JMDP came out on top in three sets, 46 64 61.  I'm beginning to question Ernie's ability to play more than two sets, let alone five.  I don't know if it's a fitness thing (though he looks like he bulked up in the off season) or if it's mental.  But something ain't right. 

Otherwise, it was a day of three setters in Auckland but in the end, the only seed to fall was Juan Monaco.  And how about a tip of the cap to Johnny Isner, or as I like to call him, Jim Halpert.  He's come through qualifying beating Bellucci and now Ginepri.  Air five, Halpert.

[1] J Del Potro (ARG) d E Gulbis (LAT) 46 64 61
[2] D Ferrer (ESP) d M Gicquel (FRA) 67(3) 64 64
[3] R Soderling (SWE) d [Q] B Reynolds (USA) 63 46 62
[4] N Almagro (ESP) d Y Lu (TPE) 67(4) 63 62
[5] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d J Ferrero (ESP) 64 46 76(5)
[6] S Querrey (USA) d [Q] G Muller (LUX) 36 63 64
V Troicki (SRB) d [8] J Monaco (ARG) 36 64 62
[Q] J Isner (USA) d R Ginepri (USA) 64 67(1) 76(5)

Auckland Day 3 Scores and OOP

Oh to be an Ernie fan.  It ain't easy.  But he fought through today and beat Granola Bar in three sets.  That sets up a blockbuster matchup with JMDP.  Daveed will also be in action for the first time.

Is it just me or does Ernie have a different look in his eyes these days.  I get the sense that he's no longer just happy to be there.  He wants to win.  Watch out, boys.

Scores:
5] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [WC] D Hrbaty (SVK) 61 62
[Q] J Isner (USA) d [7] A Montanes (ESP) 76(4) 75
[8] J Monaco (ARG) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 64
[Q] G Muller (LUX) d F Serra (FRA) 63 64
Y Lu (TPE) d S Darcis (BEL) 76(5) 62
E Gulbis (LAT) d M Granollers (ESP) 64 67(5) 61
[Q] B Reynolds (USA) d [Q] O Hernandez (ESP) 76(4) 57 62
M Gicquel (FRA) d A Calleri (ARG) 36 64 64

Day 4 OOP:

Center Court (11am)
Lu vs. Almagro
Gulbis vs. Del Potro
Gicquel vs. Ferrer
Soderling vs. Reynolds
Kohlschreiber vs. Ferrero (7:30pm)

Court 4
Querrey vs. Muller (11am)
Troicki vs. Monaco (2pm)

Court 6
Ginepri vs. Isner (2pm)

Nole Hates Head.

Yeah, it was pretty ugly.

Nole needs to talk to Serena.  Because clearly he doesn't subscribe to the "You have to show up, so why not play well?" philosophy on life.  Not once throughout the match did he show a flicker of intensity.  I'll be honest, it was pathetic.  It's one thing to play like crap but keep working your way through the match and at least show that you care.  It's quite another to play like crap, realize you're playing like crap, and just want to throw in the towel and get off the court.  It was a sorry display of non-competitiveness.

After the match, Nole blamed it on rust.  Bullshit.  Rust explains the poor movement and failure of execution.  But heart and competitiveness don't get rusty.  It doesn't matter if it's a Grand Slam final or a practice match.  An elite athlete hates to lose.  At everything and anything. 

He also blamed his new racquet apparently. Does this guy know what it means to SUPPORT YOUR SPONSORS?  Word is they paid him $4.5M.  Say something nice, idiot.

Not to take anything away from Ernie.  He played a pretty contained match.  Except for a few rough patches he wasn't going for everything on every shot.  It wasn't a flashy style of play, but it showed better match sense of when to be aggressive and when to construct points.  I was impressed.

Men's Scores:
E Gulbis (LAT) d [1] N Djokovic (SRB) 64 64
[5] T Berdych (CZE) d [WC] B Klein (AUS) 60 64
F Serra (FRA) d J Ferrero (ESP) 63 76(3)
M Ancic (CRO) d [Q] A Delic (USA) 76(2) 67(4) 76(6)
K Nishikori (JPN) d [Q] B Reynolds (USA) 63 62
P Mathieu (FRA) d [Q] T Gabashvili (RUS) 63 63

As for the ladies, #2 seed Vika survived a valiant challenge by Jarmila Gajdosova but not before making my shit list.  The kid was just plain annoying today, mouthing off at the umpire, crying, and generally acting like a petulant child, which I would forgive except that I realized that she's 19 now.  She was the victim of a number of bad line calls and at one point accused the Aussie umpire of favoritism for Gajdosova, who has strong ties to the country.  For whatever reason though, that wasn't what bugged me.  At one point during a changeover she complained to the umpire that Gajdosova was taking too long between serves.  In the game immediately after that she held up Gajdosova's serve (and continued to do so later in the match) so that she could catch her breath.  What is that?

Oh yeah, and once the crowd started getting on her for her antics she muttered "Fuck you people."  She really is taking this whole "The Next Sharapova" thing a little too seriously.

Gajdosova's one to watch this season, though.  She hits the ball hard and flat but she could get fitter to improve her movement and ability to rally, and she needs to have better match intelligence.  She had her chances but chose the wrong times to go for broke and made some really stupid errors at key break point chances.

Ladies' Scores:
(2) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Jarmila Gajdosova (SVK) 76(4) 75
(3) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. (Q) Melinda Czink (HUN) 57 63 61
Tathiana Garbin (ITA) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 46 64 62

Brisbane OOP: Day 3

Center Court (10:30am)
1. Klein vs. Berdych
2. Gajdosova vs. Azarenka
3. Djokovic vs. Gulbis
4. Calleri vs. Tsonga (NB 7pm)
5. Stosur vs. Safarova

Court 1
1. Ferrero vs. Serra (following a doubles match)
2. Delic vs. Ancic
3. Llodra vs. Sirriani
4. Gasquet vs. Dent (NB 8pm)

Court 2
1. Garbin vs. Kleybanova
2. Gabashvili vs. Mathieu
3. Reynolds vs. Nishikori
4. Beneteau vs. Soderling (NB 8pm)

Dude, I know Australia loves Jo, but come on.  Nole/Ernie should be the night match for sure.  That's gonna be a cracker.  I'm also looking forward to Stosur/Lucie, mainly because I want to see Lucie's form.  I want her to get back up into the top 20.

Adidas' Warehouse or Madame Tussaud's? You Make The Call.

Following up on the few pictures leaked last week, here's the full lineup of Adidas' men's and women's lines for the Australian Open.  Why they felt the need to dress a bunch of wax sculptures instead of using actual athletes is beyond me, but hey, I'm not in marketing.

Nole Smurf!

Wait, didn't Adidas already do bumblebee yellow?  Did they already run out of ideas?

  
WHERE'S MY SISTER!!!  WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HER!!!

Aw, Fernando and Ernie get some Adidas love!

Augh.  Whatever.

I really like the color choices and the one thing I really like about Adidas gear is that it's actually wearable.  It LOOKS LIKE sportswear that's easy to wear and sweat in.  So I give them props on that.  I do have one complaint:  WHERE'S GILLES?!?

Gobble Gobble, Time To Wobble

Well it's Thanksgiving here in the States, the day in which Americans gather around a roasted bird and pretend to forget that in exchange for the generous hospitality the indigenous peoples occupying this great land offered, white settlers gave them disease, war, subjugation, and casinos.  So you know, win-win!

Putting all that aside, it is the day where we gather around the table with people we may or may not like and give thanks for the blessings bestowed upon us.  This year I'm spending it in NYC with my sister and it looks like I'll be attending a very Felicityesque T-Day with a bunch of NYC transplants.  I'm genuinely looking forward to it.  Well, the mulled wine at the very least.

All this is a roundabout introduction to my list of the 10 Tennis Related Things I'm Thankful For:

10.  JJ -- Shocker, right?  But seriously, I'm thankful for JJ.  She keeps it fun and interesting.  After all, who else would we talk about if she wasn't around?  The girl gives good quote, hilarious picture, and non-stop glitter-infused drama.  To that, I raise my glass of Aqua Viva water.

9.  My Wilson KFactor kTour Racquet -- Sigh.  It was love at first strike with this puppy, which I got about 8 months ago.  I resisted it for so long because it was Lindsay and Justine's racquet of choice, two players I didn't like that much.  But I demoed Masha's Prince 03 White, Ana's Yonex RQiS 1, Nole's Wilson kBlade, and even JJ's Prince Speedport White and couldn't find one I loved.  At my wits end I finally demoed the kTour, and it was absolutely perfect.  For anyone who's interested, try it out with Wilson Sensation strings at 57 lbs.  It's just a pure and clean hit.

8.  The First Half of 2008 -- It was fun while it lasted.  My girls (Masha/Ana) and boys (Rafa/Nole) were winning, they were looking good, and my life as a tennis fan was all rainbows and handbags.  And then we all stepped on the grass of Wimbledon and it all (well, almost all) went to shit. 

7.  Crazy Eyez Fed -- I love this guy.  He needs to come back, ASAP.

6.  Crazy Russians -- What is it about the home of Stalin, Rasputin, and Vodka that it keeps rolling out the crazies?  Hmmm...I think I may have answered my own question.  Between CrazySexLostHisCool and his  potty mouth of a baby sister, Casper The Melting Ghost, Underachieving Kuz, NoServe McGee, Angry A-Chak, and of course, their greatest export, Maria "Fuck The French" Pova, they really keep things interesting.

5.  New Pretty Faces -- Hot Crazy Elf Train, Gilly, Jo, and Ernie.  Not only are they new cute boys to fawn over, but they actually have game and are exciting to watch.  Sometimes God does give with both hands.

4.  Davis Cup -- Sure, maybe this is inflated given the events of the past week, but still.  Even if Spain hadn't won the Cup in the manner in which they did, Davis Cup was awesome this year.  And looking forward to next year it can only get better, what with TMF agreeing to grace us with his presence.  So for all the HoYay! awesomeness that Davis Cup brings on a quarterly basis, I bring thanks.  Now, if only the ladies took Fed Cup as seriously. 

3.  Rafa -- Sure, I love my Nole, but Rafa's ridiculous 2008 drew me back into men's tennis.  I love his fight, his competitive spirit, his strut, his ADD, his humility and grace, and his perfectly bulbous ass. 

2. Baby E -- Come on, this one's obvious, right?  She single-handedly brought me back into tennis, as it had been a long time since I had a WTA player that I genuinely rooted for.  She's a breath of fresh air in the diva world of the WTA.  And on this day of overeating let us never forget: She's a nerdy fat girl stuck in a hot body. 

1.  You guys -- I really didn't know what to expect when I started this blog in July.  It all came down to the fact that I had all these stupid and immature tennis thoughts running in my head all the time that it was distracting.  So I started the site just to get these ideas "on paper" so I could move on.  I never expected a an international coaltion of like-minded tennis fans, who love the sport and the players but don't put them on a pedestal, would come together to create the rad community that we have going here.  Seriously, you guys make me check my own site on a quarter of an hour basis to keep up with your hilarious comments and insights.  So on the serious, with no sense of cynicism or or irony intended, thanks.

Alrighty, off to get drunk now.  If you see a drunken Asian girl stumbling the streets of Spanish Harlem, steer clear.  I can't promise the turkey is staying down.

Augh, I Should Have Known Better

Heartbreakers, both of you!  Both Marat and Ernie lost in St. Petersberg yesterday.  But it's not even about them losing.  It's about how they played.  Their quality just wasn't there and it's so frustrating because we all know they're better than this.  But to get repeatedly dumped out early at these tournaments is just getting so exasperating. 

Of course, Ernie had a bit of an excuse as he was playing the pasty white hot Muzzah, losing 4 and 2.  I totally agree with the commenters who have said that he needs to play challenger tournaments to get his ranking up so that he's not facing the top seeds in the early rounds.  Something tells me Ernie's not that driven though.

As for Marat.  Really?  Losing 4 and 2 to a qualifier I've never heard of (Gobulev)?

Nice abs though.  Yum!

Remaining scores from St. Petes:
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d J Chardy (FRA) 64 76(3)
V Hanescu (ROU) d [Q] M Kukushkin (KAZ) 63 76(7)
[Q] M Zverev (GER) d [4] M Youzhny (RUS) 75 64

Quarterfinal lineup and OOP:
Tabasco v. Old Man Rainer
Golubev v. Zverev
Tipsy v. Murray
Hanescu v. Elgin (17.00 hrs on Court 1)

Play starts at 15.00hrs.

Can Tipsy get himself up for a showdown with Muzzah?  Let's hope so.  I just want to see a good match.

Over in Lyon, no surprises.  Gilly went to three sets, YET AGAIN.  But he won, YET AGAIN.  Reeshie lost early, YET AGAIN.  Here are your scores:

[1] A Roddick (USA)d R Ginepri (USA) 76(5) 76(3)
S Darcis (BEL) d [2] R Gasquet (FRA) 64 36 76(5)
[3] J Tsonga (FRA) d F Santoro (FRA) 62 57 63
[4] G Simon (FRA) d A Seppi (ITA) 76(5) 57 64
[7] R Soderling (SWE) d [Q] C Rochus (BEL) 61 62
J Ferrero (ESP) d [8] P Mathieu (FRA) 64 61

Quarterfinal lineup and OOP:
A Rod v. The Evil One
Simon v. Ouanna
Ferrero v. Tsonga
Benneteau v. Darcis

Play starts at 14.00hrs

While I Was Busy Drooling Over the New MacBooks...

Ernie Linguine was busy drooling over Rafa.  Ernie once again aquitted himself well against Rafa, but Rafa was able to take the third, winning 75 36 63.  Nice job, Ernie.  You're still one of those "aw crap, I gotta face that guy in the first round?" players.  Nothing but love for you!

In other Linguine news, Reeshard was able to come back and outlast The Sockless Wonder in three sets, 67(3) 64 63.  A nice win for Reeshie, but can I just go ahead and say that Mardy Fish looks like an old man on the court?  He doesn't move well, nothing other than his serve looks natural, he just swats at everything.  Blah.

Speaking of Blah, Blah Blah Blake (trying something new here) crashed out as I expected against the ever pesky Gilles Simon, 36 61 64.  Simon is just the type of player that drives the Blah Blahs and the Gonzos of the world crazy.  They like to go for their shots, Simon runs them all down, and then they try for too much out of frustration and impatience and they miss. 

Here are the rest of the day's results.  Quite a fun one!
[4] A Murray (GBR) d [LL] S Bolelli (ITA) 60 21 - ret. (shoulder)
M Cilic (CRO) d [13] F Verdasco (ESP) 62 63
G Monfils (FRA) d [WC] F Fognini (ITA) 62 64
[Q] M Granollers (ESP) d P Mathieu (FRA) 64 64
J Nieminen (FIN) d M Youzhny (RUS) 75 36 62
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d C Moya (ESP) 62 62
[Q] R Ginepri (USA) d M Llodra (FRA) 64 64
R Soderling (SWE) d [Q] F Serra (FRA) 63 64
[Q] V Hanescu (ROU) d D Tursunov (RUS) 46 62 63

"Ratatouille doesn't sound delicious. It sounds like "rat" and "patootie." Rat-patootie, which does not sound delicious."

This is an election year here in the Colonies, and what better way to whet your appetities for the November bloodbath/election than voting on important, landscape changing, historic issues.  Issue that are destined to shape the American social, economic, and cultural landscape and have a profound effect not just on our lives, but on the lives of our children and our children's children.  As Rutherford B. Hayes so wisely put it, "To vote is like the payment of a debt—a duty never to be neglected, if its performance is possible."

So, who looks more like Linguine, Ernie or Reesie?

Air Quotes: Not So Ernests

“The best place to play against (Nadal) is at Roland Garros.  That’s a joke, of course.”

-- Ernests Gulbis, making funny in anticipation of his second round match against Rafa in Madrid.

Nikki Goes Down, Ernests Beats Super Mario.

I agree with Diane over at Women Who Serve that Na Li might be the most dangerous floater these days.  Her ranking just doesn't do her justice so she just goes into every tournament upsetting players for at least two rounds.  In fact, I think you have to say that about both Na Li and Zheng Jie.   The Chinese women just wreak havoc on the draw.

Na Li dispatched of the greatest young talent in all the world, Nikki V., 61 62.  Not great for Nikki in her first tourney since the US Open.  I just don't know what her deal is.  Is she just content being a "journeywoman" tennis player and watching Radek all the time?  She's strikes me as someone who gained such success without really "trying" early, and now, when things are hard, doesn't know how to deal or get out of it.  That sucks because as much as I was giving Carlos Rodriguez crap, she really is a great talent.  She's still young and maybe 2009 will be a fresh start for her.  But for now, she's just a sorry player to follow.

As for the boys, Ernests came out on top in the battle of the young lanky cuties from Eastern Bloc countries, beating Super Mario in Metz, 76(3) 64.  Aw...he's so cute!

US Open Day 3 Results: Bye Bye Bepa, Hello Jo!

My Latvian boy Ernests made it through in 4 sets to set up a probable Friday night matchup with Andy.  If Andy wants a test he's going to get one.  Ernie, for better or worse, always plays as if he has nothing to lose.  Probably because he comes from a filthy rich family.  Seriously, boy, why are you playing tennis?  Go home and drive your sportscars!

Nole looked great in his straight set win over Clement.  Unfortunately the match wasn't without incident as Nole rolled his ankle returning a serve in the third set.  He called for the trainer and looked alright, but who knows.  But really, he looked sharp, orange and turquoise Adidas gear notwithstanding.

As for A-Rod, he kicked off his 2008 campaign with a new "coach" in PMac, and improved form against The Magician.  Andy reminded me tonight of how good he can be, which was encouraging.  But once again it was a match that was marred with a touch of controversy.  On the second to last point of the match, A-Rod smacked a 140mph body serve that almost took Fabrice's head off.  Fabrice was none too happy and basically stood there while Andy aced him for the match.  Afterwards, Andy was extremely apologetic.  But something tells me Fabrice is a little miffed to lose so badly to the young brash American at his last US Open.

For the rest of the men, no huge surprises, though the start of the day saw retirements and withdrawals from Janko and Youzhny.  Robby Ginepri had a nice win today, as did Chris Guccione (as coached by Killer Cahill).  New Haven champ Marin Cilic fought hard for a 5 set win over French cutie Julien Benneteau.  And welcome back Jo Wilfried Tsonga!  He didn't look too sharp today, which is understandable since he's coming off injury, but he did win which means we'll get to see more of that million dollar smile. 

 

Meanwhile, Kuzzie is doing what she does and quietly making her way through the tournament.  She beat my girl Sorana Cirstea (seriously, people, keep an eye on this girl) in straight sets, but Sorana showed a lot of fight in the first, taking Kuzzie to a tiebreak.  Cirstea's got a great serve and solid groundstrokes.  She just needs the consistency and maybe some fitness work.  And she also needs to not wear that stupid Adidas petal dress. 

As for Lindsay, with Bepa's surprise loss today and JJ's struggles, boy, she's looking pretty good.  I've been really impressed with both of her matches.  If she can get past Mono Bartoli in the next round and stay injury free, I think she's clear into the quarters to potentially play JJ, who I can see her beating.  So keep an eye out on this bottom half.

As for the rest of the Ladies, I've already mentioned the Bepa upset.  But look out Britain!  Anne Keothavong had a huge win over Franny Schiavone.  I love Anne.  Her accept is lovely.  In another upset only on paper, Zheng Jie beat Annabel Medina Garrigues.  On the other hand, Pazcek lost to Rybarikova 1 and 2.  A real shame as I was expecting at least a run to the third round after her success in Montreal.  But don't lose faith in the youth of the tour.  Ski Boots and Vika Azarenka both had solid straight set wins today and will play each other on Friday.  Go Ski Boots!

Lastly, I leave you with this:

Seriously, I could just write an entire blog on JJ.  But it's just too easy.