Forty Deuce

Vania King Is Awesome.

Dinara!  Put.  The Gun.  Down.

WTAers tell you about their love (in Vania's case) or not (Jesus, calm the fuck down, Liezel) of video games:

Ana Ivanovic: "I never did until I was introduced to Guitar Hero, and I love it."

Vania King: "YES. I love video games. I play mostly RPGs, MMORPGs and action/adventure games."

Aleksandra Wozniak: "When I was little, my sister Dorota and I would play Nintendo for hours. Now I just travel around the world with a PSP!"

Katarina Srebotnik: "No, not at all. When I was younger I used to love them and I have to say I was pretty good because I couldn't stand the words GAME OVER on the screen! I played the games over and over again until I would go all the way or at least reach a very high score."

Dominika Cibulkova: "I do - I play tennis video games! I'm not very good at them though, everyone is always beating me..."

Caroline Wozniacki: "I do, with my brother. Race car games, singing star... it's a lot of fun!"

Cara Black: "I don't play video games."

Liezel Huber: "NO!"

Vera Zvonareva: "Not really. I used to play Super Mario and Tetris on Gameboy. I would play Tetris for such a long time..."

Elena Dementieva: "I don't play video games. My brother is a big fan of them though. I could never understand his passion for them!"

Thoughts:

• We get it, Ana.  You LOVE Guitar Hero.  That answer is getting as canned as her pool story, through no fault of her own, really.

• I can totally see Bepa dominating on Tetris.  I can also see her banging her head into the controller when she realized she flipped the "S" piece one too many times.

• I love that A-Woz's sister shares the same name as this piece of awesome.

• Domi was so that girl who pretended to suck at video games so guys would think she was cute.  Or, you know.  She would just suck.  Dick.

• I would totally pull a Domi if I ever played video games with Caro's brother.

• Vania King rules.  Even I had to look up MMORPGs.

Oh, I Hope You Know What You're In For, Pops.

That is a true fan.  She's wearing the Olympic kit and showing off her belly and everything.  Good on you, Papa.  He's even rockin the Krajan hair.

 

Dina needed all the help she could get to scrape by Roberta Vinci today.  She dropped the first 26 and then had to battle back from breaks down in the second and third set, before breaking for the win, 26 75 64.  Looks like the serve was pretty wonktastic, as she threw in 10 double faults.

Dina's not the only one who had to grind out a win.  It took Sorana 75 75 to beat Meghan Shaughnnessy (she's still playing?), Dani had to come back from a set down to beat Errani, And Agnes needed 5 and 5 to take out the always riveting Ula.

You know who didn't have to work too hard for a win?  Shuai Peng.  She dumped out Domi at 2 and 1.  Hee.

And in other upset news, Nads "R-r-r-ruffles have R-r-r-ridges" bowed out to A-Bond.

Friends Don't Let Friends Lose To Friends.

Interesting quotage from James LaRosa's blog on friendships on tour.  Much like James, I too am obsessed with wanting these girls to (a) be buddies on tour and (b) be buddies with me (well not all of them, just the awesome ones, cuz that's how I roll).  It's cute to see CanWoz down on court and congratulating Caro in her semifinal win in that fake clay tournament that I can't think of right now, or Caro coming standing courtside cheering on Sorana, despite the fact that she was already out of the tournament.  And I like to think that, especially among the veteran players, that as crazy as I make these women out to be, they're actually way awesome people that I just want to drink beers with and watch get into bar fights (I'm looking at you, Flavs). 

Unfortunately, it looks like the stakes are just too high these days, for both the men and the women.  Per Marat:

Lest we think this is all just a chick thing, Marat Safin chimed in last week declaring the ATP tour too is full of loners in the locker room. "Nobody is friends with anybody," said Safin.  "Everyone travels with his group, there is no more friendship like when I could hang out with [Patrick] Rafter or [Mark] Philippoussis.  I don't have any friends on the tour."
...

"Sometimes it's really tough," says Cibulkova.  "Like at Roland Garros, I played against Agnes Szavay to go into the quarterfinals.  We're great friends, and to be against her on this very important match, it was tough.  But I handled it.  At first she was pissed.  We didn't actually look for each other in the locker room.  A few days after she was fine, she said well done."
...
It's that inability to separate the professional from the personal that motivated Ivanovic's original statement.  One she stands by.  "Obviously there are friends [on tour]," Ivanovic elaborates for the Sweet Spot.  "You chat with all the girls here.  [But] it's very hard to build a close friendship.  A friendship that would last after a tennis career.  It's very hard because of [that] competition."

So what you're saying is that *after* tennis you and Dina will be BFFs?  Sigh.  Fine, I'll take it.

Oh, and just because I can and should, y'all should follow James on Twitter.  You'll thank me later: http://www.twitter.com/JamesLaRosa

What A Waste Of A Good Cupcake

I hope it wasn't a Sprinkles cupcake. Cuz that'd be a crime. A crime, I tell you.

Pic This: Feel Good Edition.

Wow.  Those guys are really talented.  You really have to keep your head still.


I could just drink a whole bottle of vodka off that.  After I do my laundry, of course.


Uh...don't you have a "not feeling too good" wife to get to? 

Can't you survey your conquered kingdom another time?


Round 2, Phil.  Round 2.

Props to AiRon Woman.  She is a thousand years old, this is her gajillionth Slam, and she's into the third round.  Unfortunately she's going to have to crush the soul of her BFF in the next round.

Jesus, are they teaching everyone at the Bunny Ranch the Jackknife Pump?


I just can't get over that hair.  Seriously, kid, give you big brother my number, k?


So...I'm going to go out on a limb and say the competitive fire hasn't died.


I don't know why but pics of an exhausted Mono always crack me up.


Word.


Fair and balanced.


A smiling Dani will always warm the cockles of my cold dead soul. 

Or at least the black cavity where my soul used to be. 

Obligatory Nole shot for donkeygrooming, seeing as how her other two faves are now out of the tourney.

He covered up the GOATknuckle!  Mirka totally reads Forty Deuce, y'all.


Man.  Vika looks weird.

This totally endeared me to Tommy, who I have always felt bad for but never really felt *anything* for.  A really cool unscripted moment.

Ack!  Mirka shaved her head!!!

There Will Be Blood

So Dina takes on the Jack Rabbit tomorrow. 

In case she needed extra motivation for the match, I give you this walk through memory lane*, starring Dominika Cibulkova, Destroyer of Childhood Dreams:

Vengeance will be mine!

*Just read through the comments. Good times at 4am on a chilly January morning.

Pic This: A Racquet On A Mission.

 

Pic This: It's All About the Angles

The bad news?  You lost your match.  The good news? The FFT would like to put your work "Racquet Sculpture" on display in the Roland Garros on-site museum.

Has anyone else ever noticed that every single match she wins, there's at least one picture of Dina like this, pigeon-toed beyond belief?  Adorably awkward, but my knees and hips hurt just looking at it.

Why why why does anyone ever want these people's sweat-soaked towels and wristbands?  It is seriously one of the most disgusting things I can think of.

Erm... scary.

Just really liked the way this one was shot.

It took me awhile to figure out what this one was: Victoria Azarenka, as seen between the legs of a linesman.  Uh... okay.

Andy's left arm/shoulder look seriously whack here.

Player and Racquet: A Study in Three Parts

Air Quotes: Indecisive Little Thang, Ain'tcha? (Or: Does Jergen Know About This?)

Who’s your ideal mixed doubles partner? 
Gael Monfils because I really enjoyed playing with him in last year’s Roland Garros.

-- Up Close and Personal with Dominika Cibulkova

Who Knew?

Seriously, Maria, it has to be said.  Well done.  Well done.  Would anyone ever have guessed that she'd make her comeback at a Slam on her least favourite surface after 10 months out and actually improve on her performance from last year?  That's pretty fucking amazing, actually.

Fan or not, you'd have to have a heart of absolute stone not to appreciate what Maria Sharapova's been through in the last year or so, and not to be able to admire her comeback at Roland Garros.  Even if she did run out of steam so completely today that Domi didn't have to do much other than keep the ball in play to guarantee herself an emphatic win.  

A lot of people might be disappointed that she lost so decisively to someone she's always beaten in the past, but I say that's crap.  Masha had no business getting past the second round here, but she did, and then she just kept going... and going... and going.  Speaking as someone who's not a fan, and really does not buy into the "tennis needs Maria Sharapova" argument, I still can't help but be moved by what she did here.  

So, congratulations, Maria.  And welcome back.

Bizarro Week Flummoxes Carrie: WTA Edition

Okay, so, it has to be done.  We all know it.  Think of it as ripping a Band-Aid off.  Do it fast and don't think about it anymore.  So, as fair warning, I will cover the matches in the following order, in what I think is the order that FDers would prefer to read about them.  This way, you can see the least offensive one first, and then if you want to comment, just click and scroll to the comment box without even looking at the other ones.  At least... that's how I'd do it.  So: Dina/Aravane, Masha/Nails, Domi/Agnes, and then... well, you know.  Just up front, I only saw Dina/Aravane and That Other One.

(I'm trying, y'all.  I am.  I don't know what to say about any of it either.)

Dinara d. Aravane: Yeah, this one still fits into Bizarro Week, IMO, because I still am not convinced that (Pavs match aside) Dinara's been playing all that well.  Today her serve percentage dipped and she had a negative winners/UE ratio.  Still, it's obviously impressive that she can play at maybe 70-80% and absolutely demolish people; it's been a good show and points to some real mental maturity on Dina's part.  Aravane tried to whack the ball around, but Dinara seemed content to put the ball in play and draw the errors from her, showing a patience that she didn't previously possess.  She said in her presser that she knows she can play better, and she thinks she will once she is really pushed by an opponent; she's an experienced (if inconsistent) competitor and seems quietly confident at this point.  Still, the possibility is out there that not having been challenged thus far will hurt her when she needs to step up-- presumably in the quarters against Azarenka, who's been plenty tested and come through.

Masha d. Nails: From the stats, this match looked kind of messy, and no wonder: the "Cow on Ice" who's still not really in match shape, vs. Nails, who is not exactly a clay court specialist herself.  But all credit to Maria-- even not being a fan, it's impossible not to admire her for gritting her way through this tournament.  It's not been easy, and it's not been pretty, but there it is.  Every time I think that she'll surely lose her next match, there she is, so I'm sure she could not possibly be happier with how her first Slam back has gone.

Speaking of not easy and not pretty... (Yes, people, I am handing you the "not easy" joke.  I know people need coping mechanisms.)

Domi d. Agnes: If Masha/Nails looked messy from the stats, this one looked like an absolute disaster.  A combined total of 66 UE and only 17 winners?  Ouch.  Without seeing it, all there is to be said is that they both must have been nervous wrecks.  And of course Agnes having a post-big match letdown is nothing new.  Anyway, not a trainwreck anyone wants to stare at for long.  Moving on...

Yeah.  Sorry.

Vika d. Ana: Vika played well, especially in the first set and a half.  Her serve percentage was somewhere in the low 80s, which is obviously excellent.  But the major story was that Ana looked terrified.  Despite her impressive play in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, today she looked as if-- once matched against an opponent who was a real threat-- she had absolutely no belief that she could control the match.  She had some spots of good play, particularly in the first half of the first set and the last half of the second, and there were some excellent rallies in those portions of the match.  But mostly, she looked scared.  Tentative shotmaking, overhitting, that toss... it's heartbreaking to watch an athlete who's obviously battling herself as much or more than she's battling her opponent, and that's what Ana looked like today.  As for the reports of neck pain and dizzyness, hopefully it's nothing serious and can be taken care of relatively quickly.  

See?  Not so bad.  I hope.  And now it's done.  Move along, everyone.

Even The Gays Hate Viko. That's All I Needed To Know.

The ingenues pose for French FHM (I think).

Somone was acting a diva and someone got jizz in her hair.  Just sayin. 

Do NOT fuck with the 'Mo's.


For a midget she definitely works what she's got.


Chakky!  Well done with your ridix long hair.  I think it kind of steals the show.


Ah, A-Bond.  Sluttin' it  up as per yoosh.

You Saw It Coming, Right?

Well, well, well...

... look who's back!

I have to say that I was not surprised at all that Agnes took Venus out, even though due to my intense sports superstition I was too afraid to actually contemplate that possibility in my mind beforehand, much less say it out loud anywhere.  But I don't see how this can actually be that big a surprise to anyone-- Venus had gone 3 sets in her first two matches, Agnes was winning easily.  Venus, due to some bad luck with scheduling, was playing every day; Agnes, presumably, was well-rested and has been rounding back into form for awhile.  Add in that clay is Venus's weakest surface, and this was obviously going to be Agnes's best chance to take her down.  

Oh well, Venus.  You defended your points and I read somewhere that every time you've gone out in the 3rd round of RG, you've followed it up by winning Wimbledon.  See you at SW19!

Agnes's opponent in the 4th round will be Dominika Cibulkova, who's also been moving solidly and quietly through the draw.  That could be an interesting match.  Ah, so happy to see Agnes playing well again.  One final thought...

... you and your doubles partner with the PDAs.  Calm that shit down, girls.

French Wall

"You're gonna have to get through me first."

The Cone collapsed, Momo stood tall, and Slovakia gave it their all.  And in the end, France avoided relegation by taking the tie 3-2.

Poor Cone.  Is there any other player right now that has lost so many close matches?  She lost the first rubber to Dani 67 63 64, and the third rubber to Domi 62 57 64.  She's now 0-6 in Fed Cup.

Which meant it all rested on the strong shoulders of Momes.  She took her singles rubbers over Dani (75 64) and Domi (46 62 63), then teamed up with Natalie Dechy to beat Dani/Domi 46 61 64.

So congrats to the Pastries.  They're the only team in the playoffs not to get relegated.

Scenes From A J.Crew Catalog

This pic made me fantastically happy for Dina.  You go you normal girl, you!


That photographer is FOS if he's saying he didn't retouch this pic.  Also, why did the fashion designers insist on putting flat as a board Dani into a dress that *clearly* requires some fun bags?  Unacceptable.


Hey look!  The 70s!


How much you want to be this will be her ANTA dress at Roland Garros? 
Also, does JJ have any other poses?  I'm pretty I've seen this one a thousand times before.

 
A giggling Cone is way better than a faux-sexy cone. 
She actually looks 30 in that second one.  And let's face it, 30 is fucking OLD.


So. Much. Awesome.


We can all argue about a lot of things, but Baby E has the best tan in tennis. 
Also, she looks like she's about to star in a karaoke video.


Dudes.  Talk about MAN FEET.


"I have a black belt...in SEX."

(Pics from Tennis Forum)

I'm A Little Worried About The Kids These Days

Getty Images seems to think this Jersey hooker with a heart of gold is Dina. 
No, go ahead, keep laughing.  I'll wait.


... 
...
...
...yeah.  I got nothin'. 


Here's the thing, Boots.  You're actually a really adorable kid.  But wearing a punk-dyed wrinkly Hefty bag is not the way to go.  Methinks the Adidas Player Development program needs a style component.  This is just...bad.


Oh of course you did, Domi.  You just can't help yourself, can you?

(Pics from Great Tennis Photos)

Was There Only One Pink Hat?

First of all, Awww....

Second, this picture makes me feel like I'm on acid. 

Third, Ana has, in addition to Man Hands, Man Feet.  Look at those boats!

Ahem.

Congrats to Team Serbia, who knocked out the expected win today with both AI and JJ going 4-0 in the tie.  They love on to the World Group I playoff, where they'll play one of the teams that lost their World Group I tie (China, Argentina, France, or Spain).  Since we all know the Chinese are like kryptonite to our Lady Serbs, let's not hope for them.  Or France.  Or Spain.  So basically, Argentina.

Look at Dani.  There's so much going on there.  I dare you not to laugh.  It's not doable.  Don't even try.

Team Slovakia is into the World Group playoff after Domi clinched the tie with her win in the first rubber of the day.  Dani sat out the second match and was replaced by Wienerova.

That's not important, really.  I just wanted to say Wienerova.

Team Bondarenko, err...I mean Team Ukraine, beat Israel 3-2, by taking the doubles match.  How appropriate.

No word on whether Alona still has to marry that old dude.

Last but not least, Germany took the doubles match to beat Switzerland, 3-2.  ALG led the way after Sabine dropped the first match of the day to Peppermint Patty.  ALG went on to beat the racoon-eyed Timea in straight sets, and then tamed up wth Tatjana Malek to beat Patty and Voegele 4 and 3. 

The draw for the World Group playoffs will be held on Tuesday.

Phew!

Serbia 2, Japan 0

It was a little touch and go there and Ana's still serving like crap, but she somehow came away with a 64 64 win over Ai to kick off Team Serbia's 2009 campaign to get into World Group I.  JJ had a much easier go, beating Morumi 61 60.  So Serbia is 2-0 and they'll kick off the reverse singles with JJ/Ai (rematch of AO) and then, if necessary, Ana/Morumi.  At this point it wouldn't surprise me if Ana took the match just for the court time.  Let's also hope that the girls stick it out for doubles in front of the home crowd.

Italy 2, France 0

The drama tie so far has to be Italy/France.  Even though Italy has a 2-0 lead, it didn't come easily.  Flavia came back from a set down to beat Momo 26 76(7) 64.  Great win for Flavs.  Maybe this will kick start her season.  But sad face for Momo.  She really should have taken this in straights.

You know there's drama whenever The Cone is involved.  It's like horseshoes and hand grenades.  She lost to Tranny, 61 26 86 in match that lasted over two hours.

Slovak Republic 2, Belgium 0

 
SuperGirl returned and took her match in straights over Wickmayer, 76(2) 63.  And Domi took out The Flipper, 76(4) 61.  Looks like they're well on their way in advancing to play the winner of Germany/Switzerland. Dur.  Nevermind.

Russia 2, China 0

Duh.

Germany 1, Switzerland 1

The two split Day 1 but Day 2 should be the interesting one.  Lisicki will play Patty and ALG will play Timea.  You have to think ALG has the game to beat Timea easily, which means the Swiss hopes are all on Patty to beat Sabine.  That should be a fun match, actually.

As a side note, can someone tell Sabine that she's not a figure skater, nor is she a teenage aspiring fashion designer brat kid sister in Manhattan either.  Lay.  Off.  The Eye Makeup.

Czech Republic 1, Spain 1

Petra Kvitova had a nice win over CSN, holding off a late comeback charge, 64 64.  But perrenial midriff flaunter Iveta couldn't keep her lead, eventually losing to Llagostera Vives 16 61 64.  Still, you have to think Spain has this one given their doubles prowess.

Ukraine 1, Israel 1

Shahar Peer is one of those players that always scares me in Fed Cup.  Like she kicks it into a whole different gear when you slap that flag on her back.  Must be the military training.  Anyway, she kept Israel in the hunt by beating K Bond 63 67(6) 63.  The winner of this tie will play Serbia (if Serbia wins).

No More Drama

And on the fourth day, order was restored.  Lena, Flavs, Cone, Domi, and Kuz all got through with no problems.

Lena and Flavs won 4 and 1, Domi dished out a bagel winning 0 and 2, and Kuz finally cruised, taking her match 2 and 2.  I know upsets are fun and all, but if you look at the full draw, all you want are the favorites to play well and keep the draw in order. 

Zheng Jie had to fight through three sets but she took her match over Czink 76 57 63.  What a great tourney for Asia with Randy Lu's upset over Nalby and now Zheng and Peng into round 3.

And it was Alize's 19th birthday today.  But of course, because she's French, she couldn't just leave well enough alone

So not hot.

 

Cool Your Jets, Mate.

For the people who hate the "Come ons", "Ajdes", fistpumps, and lawnmowers, you have no one to blame but this guy.  He started it all. 

The only difference is that when he does it he really does look like he's going to beat the shit out of you.

Anywho, all the come ons, salutes, and fistpumps in the world couldn't help Team Australia last night, who lost the rubber 2-1 to the Slovak Republic.  Congrats to Domi for fighting her way to the win over Dellaqua, who played valiantly, but in the end still hasn't hit the gym enough to be as fit as she needs to be to compete with the top ladies.  No matter what they say, those Target pizzas are not good for you, honey.

With the win the Slovak Republic is is looking good for the Final.  Their next match is against Germany.

What's The Deal w/ Domi Cibulkova?

Dominika Cibulkova received the Slovakian POY award this past weekend.  Kind of weird to think she's now the Slovakian #1.  Sorry Dani.

But seriously, what's her deal?  I can't figure out if I like her or kind of hate her.  On one hand, she's a little jack rabbit who runs everything down and does a pretty good job of holding her own against players twice her size.  On the other hand, she seems to know how cute she is and works that angle a bit too much in my opinion. 

Also, she's dating this guy:

So yeah.  I guess I kind of hate her a little bit.  I can't put my finger on it but she's kind of annoying.  This is 100% baseless but I can't help it.

Juergen Melzer Has A Douche Stamp

Very original, Juergen. 

Juergen and Domi are vacationing together in Maldives.  It seems they're having a pretty good time. 



I'm sure they got the "all-inclusive" vacation package.

They make a cute couple and all, but I can't get over the fact that he's 27 and she's 19.  Kinda skeevy.  But what else do you expect from a dude with a Douche Stamp.

Thanks to the lovely poster who sent these along.

Melzer and Domi?

According to this article (my 4 years of German finally pays off), Juergen Melzer and Domi Cibulkova are now an item.  I guess they hooked up when they played mixed doubles at the US Open.  I didn't even know she broke up with LaMonf.  That's a shame.  Because they made a visually hilarious couple:

Baby Elephant Forgets The ONE Rule of Packing: Jersey. No Silk.

Yay!  Pictures from the Tokyo Players' Press Conference Extravaganza!  Is it just me or should the WTA should out a memo to players telling them EXACTLY what the dress code is.  I mean, Ana, Dinara, and Lena look like they're going to a cocktail party, Ai Sugiyama looks like she's going to a business meeting, Dani and JJ look like they're in St. Bartz, Momo, Domi, and Agnez look like they're going to the mall, Francesca Schiavone looks like she's going to a concert, and Na Li is wearing army capris. 

I find Ana's attempts to dress up adorable because she clearly has no idea what she's doing.  It's so relatable.

Oh, honey.  You so need a Best Gay.  Because here's what my Best Gay would say: "Oh my gosh.  What.  Are.  You.  Thinking?  You cannot pack a silk dress and then put it on without steaming it first!  And don't tell me you "steamed it" by hanging it in the bathroom while the shower was running.  Because that shit is a LIE.  It doesn't work.  And honey, if you're going to wear heels, you need to OWN IT.  Don't fucking slouch down like you're embarrassed you're so tall and hot.  It's not your fault they decided to put some midget next to you.  Augh!  I don't even know why I'm friends with you.  Sometimes, it's embarrassing!  Cute Prada clutch though!"

Don't worry, Ana.  You're not the only one to suffer the Silk Faux Pas last week:

So you're in good company.

Uh, this picture is AMAZING.  Why?  Ok, I do this all the time.  I'll be dressed up for a wedding or something and I'll just be sitting there minding my own business, zoning off on some random thought, and without thinking, I relax, slouch down a bit, and then RELAX MY ABS SO THAT MY GUT IS TOTALLY HANGING OUT.  Because yes, I (and apparently Ana) have to think about it to make sure my gut doesn't hang out.  I have said it once and I will say it again: BABY ELEPHANT RULES!!!

AI and Company sharing what looks like a very genuine laugh about something.  You know, for someone who is French and therefore ostensibly up to date (whether she likes it or not) on fashion trends, the fact that Momo still wears a scrunchy baffles me. 

But honestly, everyone looked pretty good:

When will the WTA learn?  You put MaKiri in the front row.  It doesn't matter what her ranking is, it doesn't matter how successful she is, it doesn't matter if she's even there to play.  Front Row.  Always.  Come on!

Ho. Lee. Cow.

I'm on the road right now (blogging from the Houston airport) but I just had to get this out there.  From what I understand, Domi came back from 1-5 in the first to take this match, 75 62

Can we officially say that JJ cannot perform under pressure?  This choke #4 in her lazy attempt to "earn" the #1 ranking (lost to Ana at RG, lost in the round of 16 at SW19, and lost in the semi last week in LA).

Note to JJ -- Ana is doing everything in her power to help you out and you're just spitting in her pretty little face.  You're an idiot.

More to come after I get home and watch the match tonight.