Forty Deuce

Pic This: That's One Way To Cope

Double Date

The amount of hilarity in this pic is almost enough to heal my broken heart.  Almost.

Kleybs and Tranny decided to announce to the world that Santa Claus is fake, there is no Easter Bunny, and Barack Obama is the devil incarnate.  Basically they destroyed all that was good and awesome in Tokyo.

Franny was cute afterwards though, asking for Ai's autograph.  I hope Ai traded it for the champion's trophy.

One last hurrah.  Much love, ladies.

 

Uh...much...love...ladies?

Let The Good Times Roll

Dani and Ai keep winning.  And it's too awesome for words.  They took out the #2 seeds in the quarterfinals and beat Nads/Dulko yesterday in the semis.  They'll play the final against Kleybs/Tranny, in one of the most lopided "Who Should C Note Cheer For?" matches ever.

I love that it's a family affair, with Ai's mom hitting the court during coaching timeouts.

This has to happen.  It just has to.  Kleybs and her stupid falling sideways backhand need to go away.  And doesn't Tranny have a beauty contest with Flavia to get to?  Can someone please remind her?

 

No pressure, Dani.  No pressure.

Stop The Bleeding. Heh.

Leave it to the WTA Bitches to stem the tide.  At least for a bit.  Maria destroyed Sammy No-Stones, 60 61, and has apparently gone back to her full service motion.  I guess with the end of the season looming she can afford the risk. 

Meanwhile JJ, in full mensal gear, withstood a solid challenge from Boom Boom to win in three sets.  The red underwear is really what makes this joke work.

As for the other "top" seeds, Vika dusted Jay-Z 1 and 1, and A-Rad made sure that Dani won't be missing Ai's raging retirement party.

The hair.  It hides the tears.

But let's be clear, the clusterfuck continued in Tokyo today, as K-Bond took out Lena, Caro retired against CanWoz, and Kleybs beat Bepa.

Singles - Second Round
(Q) Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 62 67(3) 61
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (4) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) 50 ret. (viral illness)
Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. (6) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 36 64 62
(7) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. Sabine Lisicki (GER) 63 46 62
(8) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Zheng Jie (CHN) 61 61
(11) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 63 36 63
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (12) Samantha Stosur (AUS) 60 61
Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (13) Nadia Petrova (RUS) 62 62
(14) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Aravane Rezai (FRA) 64 62
(15) Li Na (CHN) d. Vera Dushevina (RUS) 75 60
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. Roberta Vinci (ITA) 61 76(6)
Iveta Benesova (CZE) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 36 64
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Peng Shuai (CHN) 63 46 64

Pic This: Fistpumps -- It's What's For Dinner

I'm starting to think that the WTA Glamour Girls aren't actually pretty. 

They just know how to put an outfit together. 

Dani looks great.  Tranny looks...confused.

Pic This: It Must Be Love.

You knew today was going to be all about the love when Nico and Rafa took some time out of their busy work schedules to enjoy a little couples massage.  That's love, people.

Yes, Flavia.  Your balls are *that* big.

SuperJo.

I didn't know you could call an MTO for a hug.  I wish Bepa called one.

Why is Elf *always* whacking off during matches?  It's poor form, dude.

Pic This: Hangover Edition

A lovely lazy Saturday morning.  I actually wish I could say I was hungover.  Then I'd have an better excuse than normal to lie on the couch under a blanket and watch tennis all day.

Nice run by Dani into the Round of 16.  I hope she's happy.

Yes, you have long limbs.  We get it.

The magic Comp Kit runs out of gas.  But a fantastic run for MaKiri.

Flying Jo.

10% pasta, 90% win.

Pic This: Muggy

Day 3 is in the books and the first rounds on both sides are complete.  

Hike up your socks, folks, it's just getting interesting.

Surrealism.

Still the best hair in tennis.

The WAGs are out in full force.

Happy and no headlights.  Win.

Daniellibria

So here's some news.  Dani's switching from Nike to Adidas and will wear the Adilibria line during the US Open.  I really didn't see that one coming.  Me thinks Nike has tapped Vika as their new #2 face. 

Interesting choice, but doesn't it seem right for Vika to be in the Nike staple and Dani to be with the Bunny Ranch girls?  She's already booking her ticket to Vegas:

One of the aspects of the adidas approach that is so attractive moving into the next stage of my career is the adidas Player Development Program. Knowing that I can seek guidance from the best in the world as part of the adidas team makes for an invaluable partnership.

Anyway, here's hoping the Adilibria line's billowy tops will take care of her chronic headlight sitch.

"She's a brick...house...."

(Yahoo is anti-awesome and doesn't have any pics from tonight's match.
So this will have to do.  Pic from maryc)

I'm so glad I was able to find a stream for the Sam/Sveta match because Sammy played great.  Served well (less power, more placement) and really moved Sveta all around the court.  She also had some great opportunities to serve and volley and show how well she can read points.  I do feel really bad for Sveta.  that's a really tough second round draw.  But Sam's win means a potential LA final rematch with Flavs in the next round.  Fingers crossed!

Other than the huge scalping that took place earlier in the day when K-Bond knocked out Venus, it was business as usual for the ladies.  The only other upset (and upsetting it was) was Dani giving up a 4-1 or 5-1 lead in the second set to Svedova and eventually losing 76 in the second set.  Shvedova took a medical timeout and Dani just combusted.  You know, like Dani tends to do. 

Singles - Second Round
(Q) Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Venus Williams (USA) 16 75 64
Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. (6) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 64 63

Singles - First Round
(9) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Peng Shuai (CHN) 63 63
(11) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) d. (Q) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 26 63 62
(12) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 63 63
(16) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. Sara Errani (ITA) 64 62
Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 67(3) 60 62
Zheng Jie (CHN) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 63 62
Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 64 64
Shahar Peer (ISR) d. (Q) Monica Niculescu (ROU) 64 46 76(4)
(Q) Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Kaia Kanepi (EST) 64 76(3)
(Q) Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ) d. Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 76(1) 76(4)
(Q) Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) d. (Q) Julie Coin (FRA) 26 61 76(6)
(WC) Kim Clijsters (BEL) d. (Q) Elena Baltacha (GBR) 63 64

Doubles - First Round
(6) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. King/Niculescu (USA/ROU) 61 75
Dushevina/Rodionova (RUS/RUS) d. (7) Groenefeld/Schnyder (GER/SUI) 36 76(1) 108
Kleybanova/Makarova (RUS/RUS) d. (8) Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) 62 62
A.Radwanska/Wozniacki (POL/DEN) d. Yan/Zheng (CHN/CHN) 64 46 107
Jans/Rosolska (POL/POL) d. (WC) Fichman/Wozniak (CAN/CAN) 16 76(5) 104

15

15 straight matches.  That's the kind of roll Flavia's on right now.


In the battle of The Nice Girls, Flavia took out Dani, 63 63. 

She'll play Dinara tomorrow.

Whoops, Almost Forgot!

Dani scored a hard fought and solid win over Bepa, 76(6) 06 76(5).  If there was ever a tennis match that proved that naps increase productivity, this was the one.  That's the only explanation for Dani's second set disappearance.

Also, as further evidence of the craziness of this sport we call tennis, Bepa won 18 games and Dani won 12.  Talk about a match that was decided by a few points.

Oh, I Hope You Know What You're In For, Pops.

That is a true fan.  She's wearing the Olympic kit and showing off her belly and everything.  Good on you, Papa.  He's even rockin the Krajan hair.

 

Dina needed all the help she could get to scrape by Roberta Vinci today.  She dropped the first 26 and then had to battle back from breaks down in the second and third set, before breaking for the win, 26 75 64.  Looks like the serve was pretty wonktastic, as she threw in 10 double faults.

Dina's not the only one who had to grind out a win.  It took Sorana 75 75 to beat Meghan Shaughnnessy (she's still playing?), Dani had to come back from a set down to beat Errani, And Agnes needed 5 and 5 to take out the always riveting Ula.

You know who didn't have to work too hard for a win?  Shuai Peng.  She dumped out Domi at 2 and 1.  Hee.

And in other upset news, Nads "R-r-r-ruffles have R-r-r-ridges" bowed out to A-Bond.

On Guts Alone

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Or something to that effect.

How ridiculous is it that this match was nowhere to be found on TV or streams?  Maria battled back after dropping a very tight first set to beat #3 seed Vicky, 6-7 (4), 6-4, 6-2.  Vicks Vaporub said after the match that she was rusty from not playing since SW19.  Probably true.  But Masha showed again why she's awesome: She can gut out matches like this where she's playing like crap and simply beat you on will alone.  You go, girl.

In early action, Ana has taken back her Adilibria gear and Dina is once again back to her asexual Competition kit.  And her hand is all taped up, which is odd. 

But she beat a taped up Dani pretty easily 62 64.

Love Flavia's new Sergio kit.  Also love that she's winning.  She beat Coco Vandeweghe 2 and 4.

Singles - Second Round
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 62 64
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (3) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) 67(4) 64 62
(5) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. Shahar Peer (ISR) 64 26 63
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. (7) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 64 67(6) 64
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 62 61
(10) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (WC) Coco Vandeweghe (USA) 62 64
(12) Li Na (CHN) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 46 64 62
(13) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 62 64
(14) Zheng Jie (CHN) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 64 46 60
(17) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 61 64
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 57 64 75
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 36 61
Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (Q) Jill Craybas (USA) 76(2) 61

Doubles - First Round
(1) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. Ruano Pascual/Zheng (ESP/CHN) 64 64
King/Niculescu (USA/ROU) d. (3) Pennetta/Raymond (ITA/USA) 75 63
(4) Hsieh/Peng (TPE/CHN) d. Poutchek/Savchuk (BLR/UKR) 62 63
Kirilenko/A.Radwanska (RUS/POL) d. Kudryavtseva/Rodionova (RUS/RUS) 62 46 104

OhThankGod.

(warning: i'm a bit tipsy right now)

Yay! The pretty girl won.  She beat Vania King 64 46 61.  Apparently her backhand and toss were wonky.  But tell me something new.   A win is a win and she'll fight another day.  She'll play the winner of MaKiri/Stosur.  I love you, Sam, but I gotta root for MaKiri, even though that's the most pathetic thing ever.

In other good news, Dani beat Melanie Oudin (sorry, Mel) 67(3) 62 62.  I hate to root against Melanie but it's nice to see Dani beating quality competition.  Dani went on to team with Ai to win their dubs match.  I'm sure there were smiles all around.

And in other news, even if it means I get my ass handed to me by German teenagers, I would like to state for the record that I want Kimiko's body when I'm 38 years old.  She lost to Sabine but she's still an inspiration.

Finally, after brokering the release of the US journalists from North Korea, Bepa returned to beat Peng Shuai, 36 63 76(6).  Sure, the US press gives credit to Slick Willy, but we all know what's up.

Also, Sorana took out the loud mouthed Burrito in three, and CanWoz beat Bethanie in a tight two setter, 75 75.

Singles - Second Round
(2) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) d. Peng Shuai (CHN) 36 63 76(6)
(6) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) d. (WC) Vania King (USA) 64 46 61

Singles - First Round
(12) Li Na (CHN) d. Ayumi Morita (JPN) 60 20 ret. (GI illness)
(13) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Monica Niculescu (ROU) 61 62
(14) Zheng Jie (CHN) d. (Q) Olga Savchuk (UKR) 75 16 62
(17) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (Q) Kimiko Date Krumm (JPN) 76(5) 26 75
Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. (Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) 67(3) 62 62
Sorana Cirstea (ROU) d. (WC) Michelle Larcher de Brito (POR) 64 75
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) 75 75
Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. Melinda Czink (HUN) 36 64 61
Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. (Q) Chanelle Scheepers (RSA) 46 63 61
Urszula Radwanska (POL) d. Julie Coin (FRA) 61 62

Doubles - First Round
(2) Hantuchova/Sugiyama (SVK/JPN) d. (WC) Craybas/Gullickson (USA/USA) 64 61
Garbin/Schiavone (ITA/ITA) d. Shaughnessy/Spears (USA/USA) 61 64
A.Bondarenko/Vesnina (UKR/RUS) d. Kleybanova/Makarova (RUS/RUS) 64 76(4)

Dani California

I'm starting to get the sense that Dani just really likes playing tennis in California.  Nice win for her last night, coming back 4-6, 7-6 (8-6), 6-1, to beat seventh seed A-Rad.  She'll play Lena D in the quarters on Friday.

Wednesday's Results:
Singles - Second Round
(3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 61 62
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (5) Nadia Petrova (RUS) 61 62
Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. (7) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 46 76(6) 61
Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Monica Niculescu (ROU) 61 75

Doubles - Quarterfinals
(2) Williams/Williams (USA/USA) d. Dekmeijere/Ditty (LAT/USA) 61 60

Doubles - First Round
(1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) d. Haynes/Savchuk (USA/UKR) 61 63
(3) Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) d. Kudryavtseva/Poutchek (RUS/BLR) 46 64 104
Chan/Niculescu (TPE/ROU) d. Foretz/Spears (FRA/USA) 64 26 106

Thursday OOP:
Stadium (from 12.00hrs)
1. S.Williams vs. Czink
2. Kudryavtseva vs. V.Williams (NB 14.00hrs)
3. Oudin vs. Bartoli
4. Cirstea/Kirilenko vs. Coin/Pelletier
5. Jankovic vs. Lisicki (NB 19.00hrs)
6. Kleybanova/Rodionova vs. Mattek-Sands/Petrova

"When You're Smiling, The Whole World Smiles With You..."

C Note happy.

Some nice stories developing out of Stanford today.  In the battle of "I swear you guys, it wasn't a fluke!" Sammy Stones upset wee Domi 4 and 3.  I have no idea how Mono got pushed to a 76(6) tiebreaker by Ayumi, but yeah, that happened.  MaKiri battled it out with the still slumping Chakky and come out on top (settle down, boys) in the "Oh, Jesus. Just flip a coin" match of the day.  And my little headcase Dani notched a solid win, beating CanWoz in a tight one, 64 46 75. 

And as if a picture of Dani smiling and looking like Anakin wasn't enough, the tennis gods had to give me even more awesomeness when Julie "I got drunk last night at Blue Chalk and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" Coin got bounced by Alla.  Suck it, Drunk Tank!

And oh yeah.  JJ played.

(2) Venus Williams (USA) d. (WC) Stephanie Dubois (CAN) 62 63
(4) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. (Q) Angela Haynes (USA) 63 61
Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. (6) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 64 63
(8) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Ayumi Morita (JPN) 76(6) 63
Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (Q) Lilia Osterloh (USA) 62 63
Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 64 46 75
Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 64 57 76(5)
(Q) Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) d. Julie Coin (FRA) 61 76(5)

Three Dani Posts In One Day? Don't Mind If I Do.

She is smiling! And she calls her "Sugi"!  Zadorbz.

Air Quotes: "Oooh, You Make Me Live Whatever This World Can Give To Me."

You have to face Sugiyama again to team up in the doubles. Are you going to say sorry when you meet her?

"Yeah, I already said sorry after the match. You know, it was quite funny before the match. We were warming up at the same place. We just had to make sure we were not going to sit on the same bench."

-- Dani H, in a pretty funny mood after her third round win.

Pic This: "Lookin' For Fun and Feelin' Groovaaaaay..."

She looks so happy!  [squeal!]


Look!  Whatshernameova is into the fourth round of Wimbledon.  Crazy.


I feel ya, hair.  I feel ya.


Yes, Fer.  You're SO pretty.  Move on. 


Oh look.  You did.  Congrats.


This is the same look I had when I saw "Thriller" for the first time when I was 5.  Literally.


Hey Ladies, do you have that not-so-fresh feeling?

You're welcome.


Hehe.  Dudi.


Dudes.  Tranny vs. Gypsy on Monday. 

If you feel a cold wind blowin, London, you know why.


You creep me out, TechnoKing.  You creep me out.


Sara Foster tries to combine the best traits from Mirka and Kim and fails miserably. 

Is that Blackberry from 2005?  Hey oh!


Aw.  Much love, losers.


I TAKE IT BACK!  PUT ON THE VEST!  PUT ON THE VEST!

Pic This: Feel Good Edition.

Wow.  Those guys are really talented.  You really have to keep your head still.


I could just drink a whole bottle of vodka off that.  After I do my laundry, of course.


Uh...don't you have a "not feeling too good" wife to get to? 

Can't you survey your conquered kingdom another time?


Round 2, Phil.  Round 2.

Props to AiRon Woman.  She is a thousand years old, this is her gajillionth Slam, and she's into the third round.  Unfortunately she's going to have to crush the soul of her BFF in the next round.

Jesus, are they teaching everyone at the Bunny Ranch the Jackknife Pump?


I just can't get over that hair.  Seriously, kid, give you big brother my number, k?


So...I'm going to go out on a limb and say the competitive fire hasn't died.


I don't know why but pics of an exhausted Mono always crack me up.


Word.


Fair and balanced.


A smiling Dani will always warm the cockles of my cold dead soul. 

Or at least the black cavity where my soul used to be. 

Obligatory Nole shot for donkeygrooming, seeing as how her other two faves are now out of the tourney.

He covered up the GOATknuckle!  Mirka totally reads Forty Deuce, y'all.


Man.  Vika looks weird.

This totally endeared me to Tommy, who I have always felt bad for but never really felt *anything* for.  A really cool unscripted moment.

Ack!  Mirka shaved her head!!!

Jay Z Gets Ghosted

*cranes neck and looks up* What's going on?

Look who's into the second round.  Good for you, Dani.  She upset Jay-Z, 63 75, to advance to the third round.  Impressive stuff, Dani.  Proud of you.

Though, please, let's take a moment to pour one out for my fallen homie.  This bottle of Cris goes out to you, HOVA.

It's Probably For The Best

 

L-Rob did well for herself to take the first set off Dani, but she ran out of steam and Dani upped her game to take it in three and eliminate Britain's Other Great White Hope.

Seriously, though.  This is a good thing.  Let's let Muzz carry the torch this year, kiddo.   

"I Was Walking With A Ghost, I Said Please, Please Don't Insist."

Well it looked a little dicey there in the first, as Dina got 'sticked by Hantu, which apparently means "ghost" in Indonesian (thanks, tennislust!).  But the Dina did what she does and Dani did what she does and Dina won the next two sets, 64 63.  She'll advance to the semis to face Touchdown Tammy, who took out Flavs in three.  Boo, Flavs.  BOO.

(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. (6/WC) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 16 64 63
Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) d. (3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 26 63 63
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Olga Govortsova (BLR) 61 63
(WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Kristina Barrois (GER) 61 61

1-1

That's Serena's new record against Klara Zakopalova for the '09 clay court season.  So... there's that.  I can't really say anything about anyone's level of play since I didn't watch very much of it, but I can say that Serena's knee wrap looked oddly high tech.  Although I could be making that up in my head.

I don't think she's even wearing jewelry from her own line. What kind of marketing strategy is that, Serena?  

There were other matches this morning, of course, mostly wrapped around a two hour rain delay...

Jelena's new not-entirely-horrible, but not-entirely-awesome Anta dress made its debut today. That's also a pretty good summary of how she played against Petra Cetkovska-- it's kind of like her game is currently on a factory reset: the big problem is gone, but none of the old programming has been reinstalled yet. Competent, and certainly enough to get her through the first two or three rounds, but not entirely solid yet. Meanwhile, look who's wearing pink!

Man. If, in some alternate universe, it ended up being a Dinara/Sveta final, Sveta would immediately have the upper hand because Dinara would be so. Jealous. Sveta played a really solid match against Claire Feuerstein, a French journeywoman who turned out to be much better than anyone thought she'd be-- possibly including Feuerstein herself.

'Round the ATP side, Nicolas Lapentti did his part to get Philippe Chartrier back on schedule by retiring down 4-6, 1-3 to Nole.  

  

Lapentti rolled his ankle-- which was already heavily taped-- towards the end of the first set, and obviously never got comfortable again. Nole looked calm and collected, had some silly misses, but mostly looked in perfectly good shape for the beginning of the tournament. 

Other results thus far: Monfils, Kohlscreiber, JMDP, Gicquel, Seppi and Disco Tommy all through easily in straight sets. Juan Monaco just knocked out Marcos-- Marcos, we hardly knew ye.  Caro, unsurprisingly, took the third set against Vera D fairly easily (6-1). The Gypsy prolonged Dani's misery by beating her in straight sets, Ruano Pascal did the same to Nikki V. Aleks Wozniak went through in 3, U-Rad went out in 3. Lena D through in straights, but went down a couple of breaks in the first. Sania's out and Dokic is through (only her second win since the AO?!). Quality guy Ivan Ljubicic is in a deciding set with Ferrero and Jo Willy and Apricot Bars are locked down in battle on Chartrier, but ESPN2 has decided I'd rather watch Blah. They are incorrect. Thank god for livestreaming. One note: conditions today have been terrible-- hours of rain delays this morning, terrible wind ever since. It looks like hell out there.

French Wall

"You're gonna have to get through me first."

The Cone collapsed, Momo stood tall, and Slovakia gave it their all.  And in the end, France avoided relegation by taking the tie 3-2.

Poor Cone.  Is there any other player right now that has lost so many close matches?  She lost the first rubber to Dani 67 63 64, and the third rubber to Domi 62 57 64.  She's now 0-6 in Fed Cup.

Which meant it all rested on the strong shoulders of Momes.  She took her singles rubbers over Dani (75 64) and Domi (46 62 63), then teamed up with Natalie Dechy to beat Dani/Domi 46 61 64.

So congrats to the Pastries.  They're the only team in the playoffs not to get relegated.

Who'd This Kid Have To Schtoop To Get Creds?

Time For Kids sent, well, a kid, to cover IW.  I actually saw her all over the place.  Hard worker, that one.  Methinks Time better be sure they're not breaking any child labor laws.  I know times are tough, but come on.

Thanks to noname for the link.

Scenes From A J.Crew Catalog

This pic made me fantastically happy for Dina.  You go you normal girl, you!


That photographer is FOS if he's saying he didn't retouch this pic.  Also, why did the fashion designers insist on putting flat as a board Dani into a dress that *clearly* requires some fun bags?  Unacceptable.


Hey look!  The 70s!


How much you want to be this will be her ANTA dress at Roland Garros? 
Also, does JJ have any other poses?  I'm pretty I've seen this one a thousand times before.

 
A giggling Cone is way better than a faux-sexy cone. 
She actually looks 30 in that second one.  And let's face it, 30 is fucking OLD.


So. Much. Awesome.


We can all argue about a lot of things, but Baby E has the best tan in tennis. 
Also, she looks like she's about to star in a karaoke video.


Dudes.  Talk about MAN FEET.


"I have a black belt...in SEX."

(Pics from Tennis Forum)

We Get It, Dinara. You're Just A Normal Girl. So Noted.

So much awesomeness. Whether it be Ana's "here's my butthole" dress, Dina's patented shrug mid-shoot, or Dani talking as though she's lived through the Great Depression, my love for the WTA has been rekindled. But why do they insist on making Ana look like Catherine Zeta-Jones? Let the kid dress like kid for goodness sakes.

Random Smatterings From Around The IW Grounds

I will always, always, always love Agi's "who farted" face.  It pwns.

 
Rafa's butt.

Muzz looking good in red while practicing with a shirted (!) Ross.

The Kaiser of Techno trying to jog off his loss to Fer.

Dani heading to practice.

MaKiri noshing on a Drumstick while on her way to watch Igor play Lubey.

"Is now a good time for an autograph?  Oh you can't hear me?  Cool."

New Forty Deuce fave Anastasia Pavlychenkova.  That's the last time you'll see me spell that.  She shall heretoforth be known as "Latisha".  Look it up.

Momes having a grand ole time, playing soccer and pulling a Chastain.

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All and C Note)

Box Seats Are Nice

Especially when they're free. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Pic This: More From Saturday @ IW

Daveed.

Some dude.

Dani

Dima yukking it up on the practice field with Viktor.

Daveed and Chucho taking a breather.

Rod Laver explaining to Bud Collins what Roger has to do to beat Rafa (seriously).

She actually looks like she knows what she's doing in this pic.

Gilly and the beautiful surroundings.  And smog.  But let's focus on the positive here.

Rafa at night.  Dude was MOBBED.

Sania does not look convinced by Sven's advice.  She would lose serve in the very next game and stare angrily at Sven. 

(Pics for Forty Deuce by C Note and Love All)

Pic This: New BFFs?

Posing sopping wet in bikinis together will do that to you.

Does Dani Have A New Coach?

Last year at IW, Dani's coach was from the Sanchez-Casal Academy.  He was this awesomely short, mustachioed Spanish guy who drilled her for hours on end (ew!  Not like that!).  She had great results with him though, getting to the AO semis and the IW quarters.

Looks like little Spanish dude is gone.  This is Thomas Hogstedt of Sweden, working with Dani today at IW.  Nice to see her change it up, though.  Good luck, Dani!

When You Play For Dildos, You Play For Keeps

This year marks the first year BNP Paribas will be sponsoring the tournament in Indian Wells.  In previous years it was sponsored by Pacific Life Open, an insurance company,
whose logo was a big ol whale.
 
I would think that the whale is now retired.  So here's a salute to the Dildo Whale, which many a fine player has worked very hard and spilled a lot of sweat to get their mouths and hands around. 

Wow.  That was a REALLY awkward sentence.


Nole is all love with his whale.  Kissing and stroking...a certain
Tenacious D song is now running in my head.


 Masha's the only one that actually seems to treat the whale like a trophy. 
Hmmm...I think there's some symbolism there.


Dani looks awfully smug with her whale, no?


Pinchy, pinchy.


The couple that plays together...

 
Not surprisingly, Ana doesn't look like she knows what to do with the thing.

But no one, no one enjoys whale as much as Rafa:

I've been told that's really horrible technique, BTW.  Just spreadin' the word.

Pic This: We Miss Masha Too But Come On, Nike.

 

Dani's SI Interview Hilarity

What was your reaction to getting into the Swimsuit Issue?

It was very, very exciting. I think it is every girl's dream to be part of SI, and it was a fantastic experience. [Not sure it's every girl's dream to be part of the SWIMSUIT issue of SI, but maybe it's different in Slovakia]

You're a professional athlete. Do you think modeling is hard?

Compared to tennis, it is very easy. We have to perform on the highest physical level almost every day of the week. You're focused much, much more and it is very hard on your body and mentally as well. The traveling is pretty much the same.  [Translation: A retard could look this good.  You know what takes skill?  Blowing a 6-0 2-0 lead in a Grand Slam semifinal.  THAT? Takes skill]

What makes you feel sexy?

Wearing high heels and a jean skirt.  [So...looking like a hooker?  Seriously, a jean skirt???  Do people still wear jean skirts?]

Who's your dream guy?

Someone who has the best heart, makes me laugh and is the best person inside.  [Nothing but the best for Dani.]

What is your most memorable first?

Winning my first match when I was 6-years-old.  [Sorry, dude who took her virginity.]

People have said that I look like...

They say I look like Mischa Barton. I don't think so, but many people have told me that. [I don't think so.]

The world's hottest athlete is...

Kobe Bryant or Adam Scott.  [You've been warned, Baby E]

For All The Marat Love You Had To Endure

I now give you the WTA ladies of SI.  Mind you, I'm drafting this post with my office door open.  Risky.  Very Risky.

I had heard about this shoot a few months ago but I didn't know that Dani was participating.  I mean, Tati, sure.  What else does she have on her schedule other than smoking and hanging out at cafes.  And of course MaKiri is the go-to glamour Masha on tour who doesn't say no to stuff like this.  But good for Dani.  I still want to feed her a sandwich or four though.

The full set of pictures can be seen at SI's site.  There's also video.  A look at the pics makes a few things clear.  Dani will not smile, Tati will not keep her clothes on, and MaKiri is way cuter on the tennis court.  That last one I'm sure the boys will disagree with but her whole spread (ahem) wasn't all that spectacular. 

Tati's the most natural of all of them.  Girl takes a good picture.  Though really, are we that surprised?  She's French, which means she likes getting naked and hates people flipping her off.

 

 

 

 

 

Was There Only One Pink Hat?

First of all, Awww....

Second, this picture makes me feel like I'm on acid. 

Third, Ana has, in addition to Man Hands, Man Feet.  Look at those boats!

Ahem.

Congrats to Team Serbia, who knocked out the expected win today with both AI and JJ going 4-0 in the tie.  They love on to the World Group I playoff, where they'll play one of the teams that lost their World Group I tie (China, Argentina, France, or Spain).  Since we all know the Chinese are like kryptonite to our Lady Serbs, let's not hope for them.  Or France.  Or Spain.  So basically, Argentina.

Look at Dani.  There's so much going on there.  I dare you not to laugh.  It's not doable.  Don't even try.

Team Slovakia is into the World Group playoff after Domi clinched the tie with her win in the first rubber of the day.  Dani sat out the second match and was replaced by Wienerova.

That's not important, really.  I just wanted to say Wienerova.

Team Bondarenko, err...I mean Team Ukraine, beat Israel 3-2, by taking the doubles match.  How appropriate.

No word on whether Alona still has to marry that old dude.

Last but not least, Germany took the doubles match to beat Switzerland, 3-2.  ALG led the way after Sabine dropped the first match of the day to Peppermint Patty.  ALG went on to beat the racoon-eyed Timea in straight sets, and then tamed up wth Tatjana Malek to beat Patty and Voegele 4 and 3. 

The draw for the World Group playoffs will be held on Tuesday.

Phew!

Serbia 2, Japan 0

It was a little touch and go there and Ana's still serving like crap, but she somehow came away with a 64 64 win over Ai to kick off Team Serbia's 2009 campaign to get into World Group I.  JJ had a much easier go, beating Morumi 61 60.  So Serbia is 2-0 and they'll kick off the reverse singles with JJ/Ai (rematch of AO) and then, if necessary, Ana/Morumi.  At this point it wouldn't surprise me if Ana took the match just for the court time.  Let's also hope that the girls stick it out for doubles in front of the home crowd.

Italy 2, France 0

The drama tie so far has to be Italy/France.  Even though Italy has a 2-0 lead, it didn't come easily.  Flavia came back from a set down to beat Momo 26 76(7) 64.  Great win for Flavs.  Maybe this will kick start her season.  But sad face for Momo.  She really should have taken this in straights.

You know there's drama whenever The Cone is involved.  It's like horseshoes and hand grenades.  She lost to Tranny, 61 26 86 in match that lasted over two hours.

Slovak Republic 2, Belgium 0

 
SuperGirl returned and took her match in straights over Wickmayer, 76(2) 63.  And Domi took out The Flipper, 76(4) 61.  Looks like they're well on their way in advancing to play the winner of Germany/Switzerland. Dur.  Nevermind.

Russia 2, China 0

Duh.

Germany 1, Switzerland 1

The two split Day 1 but Day 2 should be the interesting one.  Lisicki will play Patty and ALG will play Timea.  You have to think ALG has the game to beat Timea easily, which means the Swiss hopes are all on Patty to beat Sabine.  That should be a fun match, actually.

As a side note, can someone tell Sabine that she's not a figure skater, nor is she a teenage aspiring fashion designer brat kid sister in Manhattan either.  Lay.  Off.  The Eye Makeup.

Czech Republic 1, Spain 1

Petra Kvitova had a nice win over CSN, holding off a late comeback charge, 64 64.  But perrenial midriff flaunter Iveta couldn't keep her lead, eventually losing to Llagostera Vives 16 61 64.  Still, you have to think Spain has this one given their doubles prowess.

Ukraine 1, Israel 1

Shahar Peer is one of those players that always scares me in Fed Cup.  Like she kicks it into a whole different gear when you slap that flag on her back.  Must be the military training.  Anyway, she kept Israel in the hunt by beating K Bond 63 67(6) 63.  The winner of this tie will play Serbia (if Serbia wins).

Double Trouble

Dani and Ai pulled off a nice upset in doubles today, coming back to take out top seeded Black and Huber, 67(0) 63 76(10).  I know I never really cover doubles but I do cover Dani and I'll take any opportunity to show her genuinely happy and smiling.

 

 

Pic This: "If You a Fly Gal Get Your Nails Done, Get a Pedicure, Get Your Hair Did

Dani getting pampered in the players' lounge.

Noah's Bagels Called. They'd Like To Work Out a Deal.

Please, Bepa, don't hurt 'em.  Double bagel in your second round match?  That's a statement.  Hopefully JJ's paying attention.

Caro and Nads are also through easily.  Caro took out Ruano Pascal, 3 and 3, and Nads ousted Sania (sad face), 3 and 2.  Doesn't look like she's suffering any ill effects of the viral menge.  Good for her.

 

The Cone also through easily, dishing out a baguette and bagel to Petkovic.  And Dani had to fight a bit, but finally took it in three over the weird serving Johansson, 63 46 63. 

It's so amazing with Dani how obviously mental her game is.  Good memories bring good results for her.  How can you explain her two wins at Indian Wells and now, at the tourney where she reached the semis, she's actually progressing through her draw.  This from a woman who we're used to seeing lose before the third round at Tier II tournaments.  Good for her.  Hopefully this is a signal of things to come for her season.

Headlights Are For Cars

Flashes of brilliance in a sea of poo.  That's the only way to describe the 2+ hour match between Dani and Fosters Dellaqua.  It was a battle of nerves as both ladies were broken over and over again.  Fosters had every right to win this match, but she just couldn't shut the door on Dani.  The key was the first set tiebreak, which Dani eventually won 13-11.  She would go on to win the match 76(11) 64.

On the fashion front, I love the blue on Dani.  Also love that she's left her ponytail loose instead of that uptight braid she was rocking last year (it made her look like an insane control freak for some reason).  But please, Dani, invest in some Low Beams.  It's so damn awkward watching you play sometimes.

Nice win for Chakky over AKO, but my heart goes out to Anne.  Tough draw for her.  She played well in Auckland and deserved to make it to the second round here.  But she showed a lot of heart coming back from a set down.  Unfortunately, in today's heat, she just ran out of gas. 

One thing that stood out to me watching today's matches was the gulf in fitness levels between the top players and the second tier players.  It's mindboggling to me to see players completely tank in second and third sets because their fitness prevents them from dealing with the conditions.  I totally agree with Brad Gilbert (reluctantly) that it's inexcusable.  This is the first Slam of the year and you've had two months to get into proper shape. 

And yes, Strawberry-Lemonade Nads is still in the mix.  There's just so much unnecessary color going on in that shot.

Sydney Interviews

Interviews with Nole, Nalby, Dani, Sveta, Dina, A-Rad, and Mario here.

Pic This: What's Black and White and Sweaty All Over?

Dani's rockin' her new Nike garb.  I think it looks great on her, particularly the skirt. 

She must feel good in it.  She won her first round match in Sydney over a qualifier 63 60.

Sydney Practice Pics (100% Guaranteed Radek-Free)

Ah, Makiri.  The Anti-Radek.


All eyes are on Nole and his head/Head in Sydney.  So it's nice to see him hitting the courts hard.





I mean, when is Dani NOT practicing. 


I'm not going to lie.  Nalby's blonde 5 o'clock shadow always creeps me out.


The Airon woman, still going strong.

Reports From Sydney

From Tom Tebbutt's dispatch from Sydney:

Groeneveld also talked about his much-discussed relationship with Ana Ivanovic. He had been her main coach when she had her Grand Slam breakthrough victory at the French Open last year, but he explained that, because of matters related to his personal life, he had been unable to spend the pre-season with her as he did a year ago. Groeneveld, a Dutchman, said that last fall he had set up Ivanovic with his compatriot Melle Van Gemerden, a 29-year-old who ranked as high as No. 100 on the men’s tour in 2006, as a practice partner.

“Ana is still part of the program and we’ll see what happens in Melbourne,” he said, commenting about the possibility of working with her at the Australian Open.

So don't fret Ana fans.  He's still around and could work with her in Melbourne.  And it sounds like he's the one that couldn't spend time with her.  So it's not like she thinks she doesn't need a coach.  He just wasn't available like last year.

Nice to hear that Nads is back on court.  Pissed to hear that despite the fact that Nole's been out of the Brisbane tourney since Tuesday, he's not arriving in Sydney until Saturday for a tourney that starts Monday.  Here's a hint to Team Nole.  In order to defeat jet lag and get your body accustomed to conditions, courts, etc., YOU HAVE TO GET THERE EARLY.  Idiots.

Practice pics:

 

Luxembourg Loves Ladies, Too.

There shouldn't be too much mystery in Luxembourg, but then again, who knows given the recent form of some of these players.  The way the draw worked out, it looks like a pretty easy warm up tournament for Lena D, who will be looking to regain her sharpness for Doha.  Standing in her way to the finals: Momo and Dani.

Yeah, I wouldn't exactly be shaking in my Yonex boots either.

On the other half of the draw it's a complete crapshoot.  A-Chak and Ski Boots will be contesting that half, but again, given their recent form who knows?  I'd actually put my money on bracket buster and FOJJ (friend of JJ) Na Li to possibly get through this half.  Cuz it's kinda crap.

Nonetheless I will be tuning into this tournament to see the progress of two Forty Deuce baby faves: Sorana Cirstea and Laura Robson.  Cirstea  won her first title a few weeks ago in Tashkent and Robson was granted a wildcard for this tourney.  Hope they do well.

Robby, aka Baby Ana, will play her first round match against Iveta "My Torso is Unhumanly Long" Benesova.  Sorana, aka Baby Flavs, will play a qualifier.

MaKiri's Revenge

That pic is just making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Hottie Bowl 08 was another tight one (hah!) but in the end (hah!) MaKiri won 75 62, sending SuperGirl home to think about the year that might have been (hah...no wait, that didn't work).

In other news, Vika slammed the door on Momo's not-so-great season, 62 61, and in the battle of players who seem like they should be better than they actually are, Alona Bonderenko overcame The Cone in three sets, 16 63 76(6).

After the standard set by today's hotness, tomorrow's OOP is looking decidedly "not hot."  But I'm sure the quality of tennis will be high.  Maybe.  Eh, except for the Dushevina and Woz matches, probably not.

Centre Court (from 14.00hrs)
1. Bartoli vs. Szavay
2. Niculescu vs. Chakvetadze (NB 15.15hrs)
3. Schnyder vs. Kvitova (NB 18.00hrs)
4. Dushevina vs. A.Radwanska (NB 20.30hrs)

Court 2 (from 13.00hrs)
1. Wozniacki vs. Schiavone
2. Medina Garrigues vs. Li (NB 18.30hrs)