Forty Deuce

Catching Up

So... that work thing happened.  And now I am determined to at least get a results post out.  It's not gonna be much, but I submit it humbly for your consumption, dear reader.

Shanghai

More retirements??  You're kidding, right?  And my Quality Guy Ljubicic, too.  Sobs.  But he's an old guy, I guess I'll forgive him the hip injury.

Also, Feli won another match?  This is beginning to feel like some kind of alternate universe.  Also, I was very amused by Kolya's quote that Stepanek "destroyed" him in the second set.  I don't think 6-4 counts as destruction, sweetie.

Singles - Quarter-finals

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 36 63 ret. (left hip)
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [8] G Simon (FRA) 63 26 62
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d [13] R Stepanek (CZE) 61 46 61
F Lopez (ESP) d [9] R Soderling (SWE) 76(4) 63

Linz

Finally.  Actual matches!  If I hadn't been so preoccupied all day, I would have been glued to Radwanska/Safarova.  Wickmayer/Errani and Kvitova/CSN aren't too shabby, either.  I keep thinking how awesome it'll be if Round 1 of the YEC Race to the Bottom comes down to an Aga/Flavs final.  That would be faaaaaaaantabulous.

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 75 62
(2) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (7) Lucie Safarova (CZE) 63 76(9)
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (8) Sara Errani (ITA) 75 63
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. (4) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 75 64

Osaka

The Shanghai of the WTA.  Two retirements in four quarterfinals?  Woz/Woz is always a good time, and I'm glad that those matches are at least getting a little closer, but still.  More than one meaningful match this late in a tournament would be nice.

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (6) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 62 67(1) 62
Sania Mirza (IND) d. (2) Marion Bartoli (FRA) 64 20 ret. (right shoulder injury)
(3) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Jill Craybas (USA) 61 63
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. (7) Melinda Czink (HUN) w/o (right foot injury)

Pic This: STELLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!

New Spring 2010 gear from Stella for Adidas.

Cute, if not a little Kelly Kapowski.

More pics at TSF.

The Cure For The Flu? Uber Sweaty Fat Dudes In A Confined Space.

They're cute.

Pic This: "So Do You Guys Want To Carpool?"

 

Apparently Sony Ericsson phones are bad luck.

 

Like really bad luck.

But that doesn't stop Bepa from rocking the shit out of hers:

"Hey, Vera, whatcha doin?"

"Nothing. Just arranging some aid to Manila.  No big deal."

UPDATED: Overqualified.

I was in D.C. all weekend without any internet access.  And let's just say I'm not entirely sad about that.  Glad to see I missed the carnage:

(Q) Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) d. (1/WC) Dinara Safina (RUS) 76(5) 46 75


(Q) Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (5) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 75 46 63

(Q) Katareyna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 62 67 61

(Q) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. (2) Venus Williams (USA) 76(6) 75

Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. (6) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 36 64 62

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (9) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62

Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (10) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) 64 76(1)

Also, Rybarakova just beat Nads and Maria's on her way to bagel and 'sticking Sam.  And we know how Sam feels about 'sticking.  Not a fan, methinks.

So it's absolute Bedlam in Tokyo as the top seeds are falling left and right in the first two rounds (as of this post, JJ, A-Rad, and Caro still have to play their 2R matches).

[UPDATE: Caro retires down 05 to CanWoz. So the top 6 seeds are out after their first matches.]

I don't have much to say quite yet.  I need some time to process it all.  But I have a feeling Billy Shakes was a WTA fan back in the day:

She should have died hereafter ;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time ;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Pic This: USO Final Wrap Up

And so another USO in the books.  And the last chapter of this one was nothing but rainbows.

 

Acid trip rainbows.

 

Swear to God.  I'm gonna steal that kid.

 

It must be love.

Wheeeee!

For now.

 

Good girl.

 

I am taller than you.

Jailbreak!

 

Jesus.  Way too fucking cute.

 

Car!

 

Kids playing at the club in Tandil where DelPo used to play.  It's no swimming pool, but it'll do.

"My Trophyface, m-my Trophyface..."

Fairytale In New York

Wow.  It happened.

Back when Kim was about to start her comeback I think I came out and pretty well said that anyone on the Kimmy bandwagon was crazy.  There was no way that she was going to be able to compete with these girls who hit harder, were stronger, were fitter, than the competition 4 years ago.

To quote Pam Shriver, "Boy, I have never been more happy to be wrong."

A lot is going to be said about what this means.  Fuck it.  You know what this means?  It means that Kim Clijsters went through a tough draw, beat both Williamses, used her awesome forehand and movement to break down her opponents and win her second Slam.  She's won 14 straight matches at the US Open.  This is a hell of an achievement from a women that everyone thought at some point was too nice to win *a* Slam, let alone two.  She was heady, competitive, and mature.  She deserves this and no one should take that away from her.  Put the asterisks away, assholes. 

Not that Kim's going to care.  She's got that bundle of awesome to come home to. 

Shit the pants, Jada.  You and your Mama earned it.

As for Caro, she acquitted herself well.  She didn't roll over for Kim and she has a lot to be proud of.  It still trips me out that she's the first out of that young set to get to Slam final.  I thought she handled the occasion well.  She could have easily pulled an Ana RG 07 and wigged out on that grand stage but she didn't.  Loved the beaming smiles from Papa and Mama Wozniacki, too.  They raised themselves a good multilingual one.

I'm really glad that these two women put a nice feel-good Coda on thi s tournament, which could have easily been marred by all the insanity of the past two weeks.  Great sportsmanship and respect between these two likeable players.

Awww.

Melty.

Moving On...

Sometimes it's not always about Serena, despite what she says sometimes.  While she took center stage for all the wrong reasons last night, let's not forget that Kim played a fantastic match and by all accounts she deserved to win.  She earned that first set racquet smash from Serena by just playing steady, hitting the lines and deep, and tracking down everything to make Serena hit one more shot.  She deserved this and it's a shame that she didn't get her chance to celebrate.

Meanwhile, on a near empty court, Sunshiney Boots earned her way into her first Slam final by beating Yanni 3 and 3.  Many congrats to her. 

As it is, it'll be a shock if Kim can't break down Boots' game tomorrow.  But either way, fantastic runs by both ladies.

Pic This: Still Flossing The Fuzz From My Teeth

To answer your question, no, that was not me.

 

Wha happen?

 

Sigh.  If only Serena listened.

You're cute.

 

Rough night.

 

It's ok, honey.  Have a danish.

Adorable little bumblebee.

 

Nice crowd.

The beginning of the end.

 

Va.  Mos.

Pic This: Book 'Em, Danno.

 

Please don't get ass-raped by Fed.  Not sure I could take another one of those.

Weird.  My boyfriend has that distant look in his eyes when I give him a handjob, too.

*whispers*

That's not Sanowa, Richard.

Fairly certain my abs would snap in two attempting this.

 

You know, it's a good thing that my blog is way classier than Perez Hilton's, because I could MS Paint a pretty awesome lollipop there.

Air Quotes: Don't Trust A Ho

Q. You come from a small country. Wickmayer, too. Yet this afternoon she has 2,000 boyfriends. How many do you have in Denmark now?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: I don’t know. I haven’t read the newspapers in Denmark, but I’m sure they can find a boyfriend for me. (laughter.)

Q. And real boyfriends, how many do you have?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: I don’t have any real boyfriends right now, so ‑‑ and usually I keep to one (laughter.)

Leave.

The train stops here.

 

Hell of a run, Kid.  So much to be proud of.  But it was inevitable.  When you're elevated to America's Sweetheart status only one thing can happen.  You crash under the weight of expectation, particularly when you've got a captive audience.  Call 1800 BRITNEY for further insight.

Also, the world ran out of "Believe" puns.  So the jig was up.

Congrats to Caro, who played a really solid and professional match to finally break through and make her first Slam semifinal.  Let's face it, she hasn't had to face *that* stiff of competition, but she's taking advantage of the situation and will most likely, barring a complete meltdown, make her first Slam final appearance. And she will do it the same way that counterpunchers have done it in the past: playing steady, absorbing power, and waiting for the other guy to fuck up.  Hell, JJ did it last year.

 

Shit the pants, kid.  You've earned it.

 

Pic This: Work It

Today was Labor Day in the states, which means no working, lots of out of towning, and, if you're in the Bay Area, lots of trying to figure out how the hell you're supposed to get to a BBQ in the East Bay when the Bay Bridge is shut down.  Let's just say Tommy wasn't the only one with that look this weekend.

But while we were being lazy bums, the action in NYC kept rolling.

 

Doesn't this look like a "Pic This" pic?  But I can't think of the perfect caption, even though it's begging for one.  Kinda like how Caro's begging to get f'd in the a. 

Oh, look!  Caption!

Smug little bastard.

 

The Sex expert.

 

This is Yanina Wickmayer.  She is a quarterfinalist.  Or something.

Last American Hero

Well holy shit.

 

Four matches, four Russians.  And if Caro didn't go ahead and bounce Kuz, Mel would have had a chance to scalp  fifth.  The funny thing about this match is that even though Nads took the first 61, you just kind of knew this kid wasn't going out like that.  And sure enough, once she regrouped and was able to pressure Nads and get the crowd into the match, Nads went all Nadsy and we had ourselves a match.

 

Poor Nads.  There was no reason she should have lost this match.  Then again, there's no reason she should have won it either.  The Russian headcasiness continues.  As much as these matches have been won with The Kid's tennis skills, even more so it's been her competitiveness that seal the deal.  She's able to put just enough pressure on them to get those doubts flowing.  Serious props to her.

 

So The Kid will play The Boots for a shot at the USO semis, and really, a REAAAAALLY good shot at the USO finals.  Boots came back from dropping the first set to battle Kuz to a 46 76 76 win.  More importantly she has torpedoed anymore Stella McCartney jokes.  I can honestly say I'm sadder about the latter.

So with Wickmayer and K-Bond making up the other quarterfinal in this half (yes, you read that right), we have ZERO Russians or Serbs in the quarters of a Slam. 

What.  Happened.

Blahroline, Indeed (TM Emma)

Caro won with a second set bagel.  That's great.  But so far so blah on the fashion front.  She debuted her pale colored Stella frock and it looks like a Project Runway dress that's been Auf Wiedersehened.  It just hangs there like 30 lbs of extra fabric.  No good.

Homecoming King and Queen

It was a good weekend for the Bunny Ranch, as their two top stars came out on top.  Fernando played a solid match to beat a tired Sam in straight sets, and Caro overwhelmed Vezzie to defend her title.  This is Fer's third career title and first of the year, and sixth and third for Boots.

Congrats.  Have fun crashing out of the USO early.

 

Less Giggling. More Charm.

More video and some interviewing from the Ana/Caro street fight.

Grinders

Apparently beating Yanina Wickmayer in three sets inspires these types of celebrations. 

Who knew?

 
Boots had an easy win, which is nice.  Unfortunately it came at the expense of The Butterfly. 

Rest in Peace, Chevy.  See you in New York.

And with great sadness I am forced to report that Sammy Stones lost to Vezzie in three sets.  But in happy news, ELENA VESNINA beat Sam Stosur in three sets!  Oh, tennis.  How you torture me.

For all you folks who do the bracket challenges for the Slams, take note that A-Rad and Mono both retired with injuries.  Ruh roh.

Singles – Second Round
(1/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. (Q) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) 64 57 76(2)
(2) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 61 64
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Iveta Benesova (CZE) 76(1) 64
Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (5) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 36 64 ret. (right hand injury)
(Q) Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (6) Marion Bartoli (FRA) 16 76(5) 20 ret. (left adductor strain)
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (9) Samantha Stosur (AUS) 36 63 64

Doubles – Quarterfinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Senoglu/Shvedova (TUR/KAZ) 62 61
(3) Craybas/Raymond (USA/USA) d. Borwell/Kops-Jones (GBR/USA) 63 62
(4) Bondarenko/Bondarenko (UKR/UKR) d. Cornet/Gallovits (FRA/ROU) 63 75

Bagels and Sticks.

It's nice to see Momo back and gaining some momentum going into NYC.  She 'sticked A-Bond 1 and 1.

And Boots kept the hurt coming during the evening session, as she double bageled Edina Gallovits.

In other warm and fuzzy news, Chakky came back to beat Bammer in three sets, rightfully putting her on the short list for #1.  Recognize.

Oh, and look at that.  Alicia Molik is playing dubs with Megan Shaughnessy.  Well, not anymore.  They lost to the Spaniards.  But nice to see her name again.

Singles - Second Round
(8) Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) d. Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 61 61
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. Sybille Bammer (AUT) 46 64 75

Singles - First Round
(2) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (LL) Edina Gallovits (ROU) 60 60
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 61 62
(6) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) 46 63 61
(9) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Alizé Cornet (FRA) 67(8) 62 64

Doubles - Quarterfinals
Benesova/Hradecka (CZE/CZE) d. Dekmeijere/U.Radwanska (LAT/POL) 36 62 107

Doubles - First Round
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. (WC) Molik/Shaughnessy (AUS/USA) 61 61
(3) Craybas/Raymond (USA/USA) d. Jans/Rosolska (POL/POL) 63 62

"Thanks, Coach"

Flavia and Boots attempt to play tennis on a football pitch. Hilarity insues. And awesomeness. But more hilarity.  Is Boots not the WTA's dream?  They just keep finding ways to rope her into these promos.  

 

Pic This: Battle of the Polish Papas

Aga and Caroline are playing doubles together in Toronto, which means some good old-fashioned fun on practice.  I will give Papa Wozniacki some credit for trying (although failing) to get Caroline to pick up the mess of balls behind her.  Oh well, Coconut and her man harem took care of it later.

I'm beginning to think maybe Papa R won't let Aga and Ula have a clothing sponsor just so he doesn't have to wear silly Fila outfits or whatever.

There were times when the Papas were hanging out and chatting.  The times when they weren't were obviously funnier.

"OK, Let's Do It."

I'm sure Brodie's in there somewhere screaming like a little girl.

No Match

Muzz is on fire and not even the wet blanket that is Kolya can put him out.

Le Muzz won easily 62 64 and will face the winner of Fed/Jo, which is going on right now.


As for the ladies, Caro was not match for Lena, once again.  She held serve, like, once, losing 62 61.


So congrats to Lena, who is fast becoming the Kolya of the WTA. 

"Oh yeah, she's still playing, huh?"

Just Short.

It was a day of strong challenges that fell just short as, for the most part (*cough*AnaAga*cough*) the seeds came through.  MaKiri stuck with JJ for much of the first set before she dropped the tiebreak 8-6.  From there, JJ took the second set 63 for the win.  But don't worry MaKiri, you still double bageled her and spat in her face at the net in the fashion department.

In the now-more-frequent-then-we'd-expect Woz/Woz match, Caro survived a scare from Aleks, dropping the first 46 before coming back to take the next two tight ones, 64 64.  Maybe Aleks is saving herself for Canadaland.

As for my favorite racquet smasher with a vagina (an important distinction so long as Marat is still playing), Bepa got 'sticked in the second by Kleybs and had to battle out the third to a 75 win.  Survive and move on, Casper.

As for A-Rad, how do you get bageled by Mama Bammer?  I think her new Babolat skirt distracted her.  She's never seen a logo before.

Singles - Second Round
(4) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. (Q) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) 63 64
(5) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. (WC) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 76(6) 63
(7) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 64 16 75
(8) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 46 64 64
(9) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 64 62
Melinda Czink (HUN) d. (11) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) 76(6) 75
Sybille Bammer (AUT) d. (13) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 60 75
(14) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Agnes Szavay (HUN) 62 64
Sorana Cirstea (ROU) d. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 63 62
Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 75 16 64
Peng Shuai (CHN) d. María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) 57 62 61
(WC) Kim Clijsters (BEL) d. Patty Schnyder (SUI) 62 75

Doubles - First Round
Kirilenko/Vesnina (RUS/RUS) d. Chuang/Yan (TPE/CHN) 64 60

That's A Wrap

Despite the LA tournament organizers trying their best to make this the most annoying tourney ever, I had a blast attending the tournament.  It really could have sucked.  The night before I was set to take off, both Dina and Ana lost, the latter being unsurprising and the former being, well, possibly a game changer.  I mean, I was shelling out $500 to *not* see Dinara?  What the fuck?

But it all proved to be worth it.  Despite the 8 dollar beers, prohibition on bringing in outside food or drink (though that didn't stop *some* people), and getting yelled at for bringing in a camera with a lens longer than 3 inches, it was so great to be in the sun and watch tennis.  But what made it awesome was the great company of Victoria, Katie, and Tracy, and the great matchups and high quality tennis (uh...let's ignore the hell that was the two hour Masha/Ula clusterfuck).

Highlights after the jump.

Friends Don't Let Friends Lose To Friends.

Interesting quotage from James LaRosa's blog on friendships on tour.  Much like James, I too am obsessed with wanting these girls to (a) be buddies on tour and (b) be buddies with me (well not all of them, just the awesome ones, cuz that's how I roll).  It's cute to see CanWoz down on court and congratulating Caro in her semifinal win in that fake clay tournament that I can't think of right now, or Caro coming standing courtside cheering on Sorana, despite the fact that she was already out of the tournament.  And I like to think that, especially among the veteran players, that as crazy as I make these women out to be, they're actually way awesome people that I just want to drink beers with and watch get into bar fights (I'm looking at you, Flavs). 

Unfortunately, it looks like the stakes are just too high these days, for both the men and the women.  Per Marat:

Lest we think this is all just a chick thing, Marat Safin chimed in last week declaring the ATP tour too is full of loners in the locker room. "Nobody is friends with anybody," said Safin.  "Everyone travels with his group, there is no more friendship like when I could hang out with [Patrick] Rafter or [Mark] Philippoussis.  I don't have any friends on the tour."
...

"Sometimes it's really tough," says Cibulkova.  "Like at Roland Garros, I played against Agnes Szavay to go into the quarterfinals.  We're great friends, and to be against her on this very important match, it was tough.  But I handled it.  At first she was pissed.  We didn't actually look for each other in the locker room.  A few days after she was fine, she said well done."
...
It's that inability to separate the professional from the personal that motivated Ivanovic's original statement.  One she stands by.  "Obviously there are friends [on tour]," Ivanovic elaborates for the Sweet Spot.  "You chat with all the girls here.  [But] it's very hard to build a close friendship.  A friendship that would last after a tennis career.  It's very hard because of [that] competition."

So what you're saying is that *after* tennis you and Dina will be BFFs?  Sigh.  Fine, I'll take it.

Oh, and just because I can and should, y'all should follow James on Twitter.  You'll thank me later: http://www.twitter.com/JamesLaRosa

12:15 am

It took her three sets over two hours but Sorana notched a nice win over Boots, 16 64 76(5).  It's kind of fun to think that this is one of those matchups that we'll see repeatedly over the course of the next few years.  Something tells me that Sorana is going to come out on top in the head to head.

Cars, Real Estate, and Jewels

I don't know why but all I can imagine Venus driving now is an El Camino. Also, I think it's a travesty that Agi isn't in these videos. I would love to hear her scoff at the idea of extravagance.

That Does Not Sound Like A Real Language

Go ahead, call me the insensitive American. But I've watched this thing 5 times now and I'm not convinced she ever said it word. It's just sounds to me. It's also 4am, so...that might have something to do with my coherence.

STELLLLLAAAAA!!!

On your marks, get set, go!

Oh, and to add insult to injury, MaKiri's being moved over to Dinara's asexual Competition Line.  I guess Ana and Sorana will be the only ones holding down the Adilibria line.

Read more about it at TSF.

Pic This: Can We Get A Fashion Consultant Over To The Bunny Ranch, ASAP?

Also?  That so does *not* look like Sorana.

Here, Caro, Have Another Trophy

Doubles partners Flavs and Olivia both bit the dust today, setting up the much anticipated showdown between Boots and...Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez.  So there's that.

Singles - Semifinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 63 46 62
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 75 64

Doubles - Semifinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Kondratieva/Lefèvre (RUS/FRA) 64 62
(2) Dulko/Pennetta (ARG/ITA) d. Domachowska/Grandin (POL/RSA) 62 64

 

No One, and I Mean NO ONE Beats Flavs Wearing a Sweatshirt. Fact.

Who do you think you are?  Bepa?  Step up your game, Alla.

So Bastad is working out to be a pretty fun tournament.  Flavia, Patty, Caro, and Dulko are through, which, given the WTA's "pleasant unpredictability", must give the Bastad tourney organizers some relief.

In the Battle For Middle Earth, wherein Middle Earth is the super cute flowy fashion designs of one Ms. Stella McCartney (who, incidentally, is going to design a line for GapKids), Boots came out on top.  And no, that's not a sex reference, Pspace.

 
And in the "Shit, I don't know who I'm rooting for here" match of the day, Olivia gutted out a tight three setter over #2 seed Domi.  I still refuse to believe she's for real.

And the headscratcher result of the day?  Sheldon (TM Victoria) gets bageled on her way to losing to Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater.  Bageled?  On clay?  Really, Sheldon?

Here are the rest of the scores:
Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Maria Kirilenko (RUS) 75 76(4)
Gisela Dulko (ARG) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 67(5) 63 76(6)
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 64 62
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. (7) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP)
46 63 60

Doubles - Quarterfinals
(1) Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez (ESP/ESP) d. Schiavone/Suárez Navarro (ITA/ESP) 76(3) 62
Kondratieva/Lefèvre (RUS/FRA) d. (4) Cirstea/Wozniacki (ROU/DEN) 46 64 108

Pictoral Hilarity From Bastad

That looks comfy.

Caro at a "press conference".

Caro and Sorana rocking some ABBA, apparently.

And now for the drumroll...

Pic This: "It's Business, It's Business Time..."

The BEST.DAY.EVER. started with a whimper and ended with a bang. 

We can't have it all, people.


Unless your name is Mirka.  In which case, you *can* have it all.

 
Um.  No thank you.


"You want a piece of this?"

It's official.  Tennis needs to have pre-match staredowns, a la boxing.  Because they are both awesomely intense and you never know if you're about to watch a sporting event or porn.  So, win-win!

Shhh!  Do you hear that?  Listen oh so carefully and you can hear the sound of a thousand blades of grass screaming.

Yes.  He did it again.  Oh, and FYI, reporters, "slapping the bull" is nothing even close to resembling "The Robot."  Come on.

Did anyone else think it was really inappropriate for the world feed cameras to be shooting Ana all gyno style?  Show some class, fellas.

Seriously?  What is this, 2002?


Yes, she won.  No I have no idea when she's due.


But what does it all mean....


Yeah, so I'm gonna need some of that in and or around the general vicinity of my JJ area.


Sometimes it's really creepy how much Andy looks like Judy.  Oh, and while I'm at it...

K.SEARS IS WAY HOTTER THAN B.DECKS!!! Suck it!


Yes, Tranny scares me.  But she has one of the most awesome "Win Smiles" in the game.  Pure joy.

 
Open your heart, Andy.  Let us in.

In an unfortunate setback for race relations, Venus and Serena double bageled Jay-Z & Co.  Thanks a lot ladies. 

So...you refuse to sign with a clothing company but an insurance company with a lizard mascot put together a deal that sounded appealing to you?  O...k....

Oh, Dina.  Inapporpriate.  In.a.propriate.  Besides, Momo has no idea what that means.

"I'm Not Invisible"

Boots/Boom Boom Bumpgate. Sabine probably thought it was just her reflection coming back at her in a mirror.

"Boom, Shake Shake Shake The Room!"

That was impressive.

The Bobbsy Twins went to battle for a quarterfinal spot, and is usually the case in the women's game these days, power won.  Boom Boom was unbreakable and Boots was frustrated.  Matches like this reinforce in me why I'm still not totally on the Caro train.  I really like her and I want her to do well, but she really needs to develop a weapon, something that will help her hold her serve more easily.  Beef up that serve, Bootsie, otherwise you're going to continually get owned by the Vikas, Soranas, and Boom Booms of the world.

This is the first match I've ever seen where Caro was visibly frustrated and negative.  It was possibly influenced by BumpGate:

Oh come on, Sabine.  You *totally* saw her.

The WTA: It's like any high school hallway in America.

Pic This: Leapin' Leprechauns

The higher they go, the harder they fall.  Sad for Elfie. 

But he was WAY cute in his presser.


They don't call him Gonzo for nothing.

I actually think I would enjoy watching the Williamses play doubles live.  Not on TV when there's other interesting and important tennis going on, but you know, at other times.

Just because I know boys read this blog.  You're welcome.  I guess.


Sigh.  If only he flipped it.  Next time.


"Uh...hello."


Hey, it's *that* guy!

Most of the time Momo's pics look weird, primarily because she comes under the ball (heh) so much on her forehand and then her one-handed backhand looks nuts if you don't catch it right. 

But then there are pics like this.  Love.


*Yeah* you're in.  My vagina.

Hey, Upper East Siders.  Looks like S dropped in and braved the hot sun in support of Lonely Boy.  All kidding aside though, I've always really liked Kim Sears.  And I *need* that purse.

Nooooo.  No vest.  Bad Muzz.  Bad.

The Sex is in the house, people.  Respect.

Fashion Fight! Fashion Fight! Fashion Fight At Lunch!

The Stella McCartney showdown took place on Center Court (?) between old Stella model MaKiri and new Stella model SkiBoots.  And since a catwalk wasn't actually involved this one proved spectacularly uninteresting at Boots dusted the MaK, 0 and 4.

But if a catwalk had been involved I think MaKiri would have dished out some bagels.  Yes, Stella, Boots will guarantee that your clothes are seen more often at tournaments.  No doubt.  But MaKiri looks so graceful and elegant when she hits the ball that the pics from her matches are basically a catalogue (minus J Peterman descriptions, which is a shame). 

That said, she's adorable and I'm sure your clothes will look amazing in all the trophy ceremony pictures. 

Matty Crones Grows Impatient.

Matt Cronin says its time for Boots to bust through at a Slam.  I don't really feel the sense of urgency but ok. 

Interesting tidbit from the article: Ana's working primarily with Cahill, while Boots is working with Sven.

Pic This: Around The Horn On Day 2

Day 2 pretty much followed the script from Day 1.  The top seeds played like top seeds, a few moments of heartburn, a few minor upsets.  But all in all, no major shakeups.

The Getty caption to this pic is "Jeremy Chardy serves to Andy Roddick during their first round match...", which...uh, no.  Still a rad pic though.

Momo will vanquish all that stand in her way.  Or...well...at least the one who stood in her way today.  Who knows what'll happen in two days.

Aw...how adorable.  She went ditched the black tape and went with the traditional off-white tape out of respect for Wimbly.  Or something.

And I'm pretty sure that if Martina saw this pic she'd cream herself.  Go Volley!Ana!

Commodus out of the shadows.

I shit you not.  Those are the lyrics to "One Moment In Time" by Whitney Houston. 

That hand belongs to Georgie Stoop, who also admitted to listening to Spin Doctors before taking the court.  Either Georgie Stoop is 40 years old or the early 90's just hit Britain.

Uh...ok.

JJ was complaining about her feet again today.  So go ANTA!

Seriously, Adidas has to be feeling pretty good about themselves.  That or they totally bribed all the photogs to not take pics of their athletes slipping on the grass.

To this day my parents still make fun of me because when I was a kid (and really, up until I was like 14) I always took pictures crouched down on one knee.  I have no idea where that habit came from.  But I'm fairly certain I have a childhood pic that looks exactly like this one.  Minus the racquet and ball.  But I think I was definitely in a skirt.  All class, baby.

Nice.  Why don't they just write "FAIL" up there and leave it up.

Pole Position

Nice profile by the NY Times on the Polish surge in the WTA. 

Dear Adidas: Just give the Rads and CanWoz a contract already.  Then you'd have all 5, which would be like grabbing the entire side of a Monopoly board (I'll leave it to you guys to decide whether it's the "Park Place" side or the "St. James Place" side).

"I've Got Blonde On Blonde On My Portable Stereo"

Despite suffering from the same "Good Lord Is That Shirt Eating Him???" dilemma that only comes from living in the States for far too long, Dima still brought his game and finished up a nice grass court run by beating Fancy Dancy on his way to the Eastbourne title.  Unfortunately the win came at a price: Dima twisted his ankle towards the end of the match.  He hung in to win but let's hope he can get back to 100% in the next few days.

On the ladies' side, Boots picked up her second trophy of the season, beating the Gypsy 76 75.

Apparently the Gypsy forgot Boots' name during the ceremony.  Everyone had a nice chuckle.

So nice runs for Dancey and Gypsy.  Hope you heal up, Dima.  And I'm glad you proved you can play on grass, Boots, but I don't think you're going to have a great run at Wimbly.  She just doesn't have the firepower (yet) to hit through people.

Now that I've said that, please prove me wrong. kthxbye!

CanWoz Is Doping. You Heard It Here First.

Fantastic run for my favorite Canuck.  There's just something so damn likeable about her.  The French-Canadian-Polish accent, the perpetual smile, the little extra chub, the completely mismatched and out of season Adidas gear.  What's not to love?  So good on her for this impressive run.  Just goes to show that on fast(ish) surfaces, she's a dangerous lurker.  Remember what happened last year in Stanford?

So we get yet another Woz-Woz matchup.  I wonder if CanWoz was waiting courtside to give Caro a high five this time.  Yeah, probably not.  We all know how that worked out last time.

As for the other semi it'll be an all French affair (seriously, why can't you girls play on CLAY?).  I guess I'll go with the Gypsy on this one, mainly because she dumped A-Rad out today.  Can't wait to see Agi's artistic rendering of that one.

(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 63 62
Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 76(5) 75
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 61 64
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) 61 60

Uh...Moving On To Wimbledon...

   

Boots, Mono, Gypsey, CanWoz, Dushevina, A-Rad, Makarova, and AMG.  These are your quarterfinalists at Eastbourne, a WTA Premier tournament and Wimbledon warmup.  Lena, Sam, Chak, Jay Z, and Momo all out today.  Nads and Nails had to retire with injuries.  Tough luck.

I don't mean to belittle the players that are left (go Boots, CanWoz, and A-Rad!) but this tourney sure took a hit on the marquee today.

Singles - Second Round

Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (1) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 60 36 76(4)
(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Samantha Stosur (AUS) 61 57 61
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. (7) Nadia Petrova (RUS) 57 10 ret. (right low back injury)
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Li Na (CHN) 31 ret. (left abdominal strain)
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 75 63
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. Zheng Jie (CHN) 76(3) 63
Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) d. Sybille Bammer (AUT) 61 75

(Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) 76(8) 76(13)

Doubles - Quarterfinals
King/Zheng (USA/CHN) d. Dushevina/Voskoboeva (RUS/KAZ) 62 75
Amanmuradova/Sugiyama (UZB/JPN) d. (WC) Borwell/Keothavong (GBR/GBR) 76(3) 63

Doubles - First Round
(1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) d. (WC) Ivanovic/Lisicki (SRB/GER) 61 62
Husarova/Kirilenko (SVK/RUS) d. Craybas/Kudryavtseva (USA/RUS) 62 57 1917

As for the boys, Dima battled past Boggy to guarantee the possibility of a Dima/Nads Introduction to Eastbourne Pubs video.  So that's nice.

Singles - Second Round 
[2] D Tursunov (RUS) d [Q] A Bogdanovic 67(2) 64 76(5) 
D Istomin (UZB) d [6] S Querrey (USA) 36 76(3) 64 
L Mayer (ARG) d J Benneteau (FRA) 64 64 
[Q] F Dancevic d [WC] J Ward (GBR) 76(6) 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals 
T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) d [2] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) 76(5) 64 
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) d [WC] C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) 63 67(5) 10-7
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) d [4] M Mirnyi (BLR) / A Ram (ISR) 63 64
M Fyrsentberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d L Arnold Ker (ARG) / M Kohlman (GER) 63 64  

Doubles - First Round
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) d [WC] J Erlich (ISR) / J Murray (GBR) 46 76(6) 10-7

Stella McCartney Decides She'd Like Her Clothes To *Actually* Be On Display

 
In case you missed it, Stella McCartney for Adidas has dumped MaKiri and is going to go with Ski Boots.  You can't blame Stella.  Does anyone around here know what her current line even looks like? 

Sorry, MaK.  Looks like it's back to Adilibria for you.  Stella don't just give that shit away.  You gotta earn it.

Seriously, Sam. You Can Speak Yourself. Or Not. I Don't Know.

Dina's thinly veiled offense that the interviewer didn't know who Yelena Isinbayeva is ridix awesome. And what does it say about me that I immediately imagined that if Isinbayeva was asked about Dina she'd respond with a "Who?"

Also, Hsieh-Su Wei is my new favorite tennis player.  Why?  "Because she's coo."

Pic This: Hey Brodie, Need A Summer Job?

The WTA might need to get a TRO.

"What's Your Name?"

The other reason JJ should consider retiring if she doesn't make it out of her quarter: hasta luego, Boots.  I didn't see a single second of this match, but I'll go ahead and throw out a "well done" to Sorana and a "hard luck" to Caro-- it seems like the thing to do.

1-1

That's Serena's new record against Klara Zakopalova for the '09 clay court season.  So... there's that.  I can't really say anything about anyone's level of play since I didn't watch very much of it, but I can say that Serena's knee wrap looked oddly high tech.  Although I could be making that up in my head.

I don't think she's even wearing jewelry from her own line. What kind of marketing strategy is that, Serena?  

There were other matches this morning, of course, mostly wrapped around a two hour rain delay...

Jelena's new not-entirely-horrible, but not-entirely-awesome Anta dress made its debut today. That's also a pretty good summary of how she played against Petra Cetkovska-- it's kind of like her game is currently on a factory reset: the big problem is gone, but none of the old programming has been reinstalled yet. Competent, and certainly enough to get her through the first two or three rounds, but not entirely solid yet. Meanwhile, look who's wearing pink!

Man. If, in some alternate universe, it ended up being a Dinara/Sveta final, Sveta would immediately have the upper hand because Dinara would be so. Jealous. Sveta played a really solid match against Claire Feuerstein, a French journeywoman who turned out to be much better than anyone thought she'd be-- possibly including Feuerstein herself.

'Round the ATP side, Nicolas Lapentti did his part to get Philippe Chartrier back on schedule by retiring down 4-6, 1-3 to Nole.  

  

Lapentti rolled his ankle-- which was already heavily taped-- towards the end of the first set, and obviously never got comfortable again. Nole looked calm and collected, had some silly misses, but mostly looked in perfectly good shape for the beginning of the tournament. 

Other results thus far: Monfils, Kohlscreiber, JMDP, Gicquel, Seppi and Disco Tommy all through easily in straight sets. Juan Monaco just knocked out Marcos-- Marcos, we hardly knew ye.  Caro, unsurprisingly, took the third set against Vera D fairly easily (6-1). The Gypsy prolonged Dani's misery by beating her in straight sets, Ruano Pascal did the same to Nikki V. Aleks Wozniak went through in 3, U-Rad went out in 3. Lena D through in straights, but went down a couple of breaks in the first. Sania's out and Dokic is through (only her second win since the AO?!). Quality guy Ivan Ljubicic is in a deciding set with Ferrero and Jo Willy and Apricot Bars are locked down in battle on Chartrier, but ESPN2 has decided I'd rather watch Blah. They are incorrect. Thank god for livestreaming. One note: conditions today have been terrible-- hours of rain delays this morning, terrible wind ever since. It looks like hell out there.