Forty Deuce

Hit Me Up

The players have been hitting the practice court at the BJK center. 

Which of course means practice pics.  

Preferably shirtless ones.  Let's be real.

I wanna lick it.  

I am A-OK with Lanky McLankerson keeping his XXL Fila shirt on though.

No one needs to see a concave chest.

Did LaMonf get a new tattoo?  Or have I just missed that one?

Dude, I am begging you.  Sandwich.  Stat.

Wonder how many racquets were broken in this practice session.

And where there are shirtless boys, you know there will be a JJ nearby.

No official word on how long that shirt stayed on.

Andy Roddick...Headcase?

Could it be? Could that Wimby final have completely rejiggered his brain so that he is, officially, not clutch?

These tight losses are mounting up.  His last 4 losses?  The Wimbly final, DC final in a tight third set tiebreak, Montreal semifinal in a tight three setter, and now second round of CIncy, losing to Sam, 76(11) 76(3).

Afterwards A-Rod would say it was "just a bad night."  Yeah, that's one explanation if you get blown out.  But Sam matched him shot for shot.  Oh, and he blew a 5-2 lead in the first set tiebreak.  I don't know....

Meanwhile, Rafa had to weather the storm (literally and figuratively) to come out on top of Seppi, who played well.  God must be a Fed fan, as the rain caused a number of stoppages in play, most notably during the second set with Rafa facing a break point on his serve.  Of course, because Rafa is Rafa, he came out after the break and boomed an ace.  Awesome.

 

And in the battle of The Sex, Steps won.  Yes, these are the times we live in, folks.

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Federer (SUI) d J Acasuso (ARG) 63 75
[2] R Nadal (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 76(4) 76(3)
[3] A Murray (GBR) d N Almagro (ESP) 76(3) 62
[4] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] I Ljubicic (CRO) 76(5) 64
[Q] C Guccione (AUS) d [7] J Tsonga (FRA) 76(12) 62
[8] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 62 16 63
[16] R Stepanek (CZE) d [WC] M Safin (RUS) 46 63 61
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [Q] M Youzhny (RUS) 75 63
P Mathieu (FRA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 76(9) 64
[LL] J Benneteau (FRA) d J Melzer (AUT) 62 36 62
T Berdych (CZE) d P Petzschner (GER) 76(8) 67(7) 64
J Chardy (FRA) d [WC] J Isner (USA) 67(1) 63 41 ret.
L Hewitt (AUS) d B Becker (GER) 63 63

S Querrey (USA) d [5] A Roddick (USA) 76 

Now You Know How Nole Feels

  Pwned. 

46 62 75, and he had a match point.

There's no other non-word for it.  Elf is now 3-0 against A-Rod, beating him twice in seven days, in two really tight, could have gone either way, matches. 

Welcome to your first Masters final, Elfie. 

I was really impressed with his composure late in that third set.  He seemed so sure of himself, as though he never doubted he would win.

"What'd you say about my Mama?"

The final will be played at 1:30pm Montreal time.

Rusty Bull, Fallen Falcon

Congrats to Elf on his win over Rafa.  He had to fight hard for the first set, eventually winning 76(5) and then cruising in the second set to win 61.  I only saw parts of the first set and though Rafa still looked rusty, it didn't seem like the first set was a "bad" loss.  Not sure what happened in that last set though.

Novak, you ignorant slut.  GET ANGRY!  Play on the edge!  I don't care that it's A-Rod and you're all self-conscious about how you come across to him or to the crowd.  What do you care more about?  Unfortunately, I think I know what the answer is to that question, which is why I don't have much hope for Nole during this USO swing.  Muzz and Rod own him.  In fact, it seems like the one player who can get him up to play with and edge is Feds.  Sigh. 

No Wonder Ana and Fer Got Along

You'd never know who won this match based on the picture. 

But it was Andy, who weathered a strong charge by Fer.  It was obviously a tight match but at 5-5 in the third, Andy broke Fernando (who basically choked that game away) to serve for the match. 

But Fer manned up, saved two match points, and broke back to force a tiebreak (aided by a broken string on match point).  He would go on to completely outmuscle Andy on the first two points of the tiebreak and he seemed to have the momentum.  But Andy was able to right the ship and Fernando calmed down, which meant that Andy took the tiebreak 75.

Which brings us to everyone's favorite rematch of rematches:

Someone just shoot me now.

You Blockhead.

JCF is just tearing up the joint.  He took out Gael The Marat Slayer And Dasher Of Hopes And Dreams, in straight sets, 63 76(7).  Good on you.

A-Rod is back from DC and bounced Igor, 61 76(3).  Eat. A. Sandwich.  Or FOUR.

And Mischa The Giant Killer (literally) followed up his big upset of Marin to take down Halpert 67(8) 61 63.  Impressive stuff from the forgotten Russian.  Well, not really "the" forgotten Russian.  There are lots of them, I guess.

And some Charlie Brown impersonator bolted past the barricades and won a couple of sets.  Security!

Singles - Second Round
[5] A Roddick (USA) d I Andreev (RUS) 61 76(3)
[6] J Del Potro (ARG) d [Q] J Hernych (CZE) 62 75
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) d R Schuettler (GER) 46 63 64
[9] G Simon (FRA) d [Q] A Falla (COL) 46 62 62
[10] F Verdasco (ESP) d L Mayer (ARG) 61 61
[Q] J Ferrero (ESP) d [13] G Monfils (FRA)  63 76(7)
P Petzschner (GER) d [15] T Robredo (ESP) 76(3) 76(4)
M Youzhny (RUS) d J Isner (USA) 67(8) 61 63
V Hanescu (ROU) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 63 46 75
S Wawrinka (SUI) d [LL] A Golubev (KAZ) 75 64

Doubles - Second Round
L Dlouhy (CZE) / P Petzschner (GER) d [4] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) 64 63

Doubles - First Round
[WC] F Dancevic (CAN) / P Duclos (CAN) d N Davydenko (RUS) / I Kunitsyn (RUS) 75 57 14-12
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 63 67(1) 10-6
R Lindstedt (SWE) / M Melo (BRA) d T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) 63 76(4)

Air Quotes: Andys Stick Together.

Andy Murray on the Wimbledon final:

Q. When if you are watching the very end of it, are you actually cheering for one guy or the other, pulling for one guy or the other?
ANDY MURRAY: No. I mean, I think that -- it's tough, because I mean, a lot of people obviously wanted Federer to break the record. It wasn't like I was anti- Federer breaking records, because I've said all along I think he's probably the greatest player ever. So that was never sort of a doubt in my mind.

You know, sometimes it's nice, you know, when you have guys like Roddick who a lot of guys have sort of written off for, well, a number of years, you know, for no reason at all, just, you know, saying that he's not going to win another Slam, it would have been nice to have seen him, you know, win, as well, because he's been around in the top 10 for so many years now and been a great player for so long.
It's just nice when you see guys having a chance. You know, I think he even said a few years ago he didn't necessarily know if he was going to get another opportunity and he came unbelievably close at Wimbledon.

That was nice to see, and I wouldn't have minded seeing Andy win.

Pic This: Dude. Eat A Sandwich.

He's starting to pull a Mischa Barton.  But, like, opposite.

Elf: Defender Of The Crown

I've been in LA for the LA Tourney so needless to say I haven't really been following the haps in DC.  But Elf and A-Rod met in the final (after some solid wins in the semis over Gonzo and Halpert.

Perhaps the tough 3 setter against Isner hurt Andy, but Elf was able to come back to eek out a win and defend his DC title, 3-6, 7-5, 7-6(6).  Nice job, Elfie, tough luck, Andy. 

500

 
Congrats to Andy, who ousted Sam in two tight straight sets for his 500th career win.  And in "ohthankgod" news, Elf survived a strong challenge from the One-Hipped Wonder, winning in a tight third set tiebreaker.

Singles - Third Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d [16] S Querrey (USA) 76(4) 64
[2] J Del Potro (ARG) d L Hewitt (AUS) 64 36 76(2)
[4] F Gonzalez (CHI) d W Odesnik (USA) 62 64
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d M Gicquel (FRA) 75 57 63
[8] T Berdych (CZE) d P Petzschner (GER) 46 63 63
[10] T Haas (GER) d J Ferrero (ESP) 75 26 61
[11] I Karlovic (CRO) d [Q] S Devvarman (IND) 75 61
J Isner (USA) d [Q] S de Chaunac (FRA) 62 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals
[5] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d S Huss (AUS) / R Hutchins (GBR) 64 75

Welcome Back, Andy. See Ya, Jo.

Andy made his triumphant return, beating Benjamin Becker 3 and 2.

Unfortunately it wasn't a great day for Jo, who's sporting an awesome new 'do and has followed the current fad of wearing Karate Kid headbands.  But he fell to Halpert in a closely contested three setter, 46 76(2) 76(4).  Tough luck for Jo, but if you get stuck in tiebreaks with Isner, you've got a tough road.

In other upset news, JCF took out Disco, Sockless lost to Petzschner, and the 12-15th seeds are out.  Quite a bit of carnage in only the second round.  What is this, the WTA?

Singles - Second Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d B Becker (GER) 63 62
J Isner (USA) d [3] J Tsonga (FRA) 46 76(2) 76(4)
[4] F Gonzalez (CHI) d [Q] A Falla (COL) 75 75
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d M Youzhny (RUS) 63 61
J Ferrero (ESP) d [7] T Robredo (ESP) 63 62
P Petzschner (GER) d [9] M Fish (USA) 16 64 61
[11] I Karlovic (CRO) d R Schuettler (GER) 64 75
M Gicquel (FRA) d [12] V Troicki (SRB) 30 ret. (right foot)
W Odesnik (USA) d [13] I Andreev (RUS) 26 75 64
[Q] S de Chaunac (FRA) d [14] D Tursunov (RUS) 36 76(3) 75
L Hewitt (AUS) d [15] D Sela (ISR) 63 26 62
[16] S Querrey (USA) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 63 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals
M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) d [3] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) 36 61 16-14 - saved 2 M.P.

Doubles - First Round
[5] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d T Berdych (CZE) / L Dlouhy (CZE) 75 63
T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) d S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 64 67(1) 10-4

How Else Are They Going To Learn?

Masha and A-Rod are confirmed to participate in Arthur Ashe Kids Day at the US Open.  I think this is great.  Kids need to learn very important "Don't Shit Where You Eat" life lesson. You know, literally and metaphorically.

Please Revoke His Passport

Nice DC write up by Cronin, with some interesting stats about Andy and Blah:

On the other hand, Blake has scored just one live win on clay, over Austria's Stefan Koubek, and only one other singles win away from home in the past eight years. While he's had some spectacular moments playing at home, including during the United States' 2007 title run, Blake has been less than dependable away from the comforts of red, white and blue arenas.

"I think it's a great opportunity for James to slide into the No. 1 singles role," McEnroe said before the tie began. "He's always been the No. 2 guy on this team, with Andy playing the role of No. 1 quite well. But James has a lot of experience, and I think it's a nice change for him to be put in that position."

While that might have been the case at home, Blake did not embrace the change abroad.

...

Perhaps next year, if McEnroe is forced to select a team to play away on clay, he'll try his luck again with Querrey, or young lefthander Wayne Odesnik, who professes a love of dirt and has had some decent results on the surface. Whatever the case, without Roddick in the fold for every tough away tie, the U.S. is going to be a serious underdog.

After the match, Blake admitted that there was a comfort level in playing No. 2 behind Roddick, the de facto team leader with a Davis Cup singles record of 31-11.

"I got a ton of respect for Andy. I really can't see myself having any more respect for him than today," said Blake. "Being in the No. 1 spot, it shows me how hard his job has been for this many years and how outstanding he's really been as a teammate and a leader of this team because he's counted on as the No. 1 to put up two points, and he does it time after time. Davis Cup is always pressure-packed, but being in the No. 2 spot is less pressure-packed than being in that one spot."

So is it fair to assume that there will a bunch of articles written about James calling him out for his pathetic inability to handle pressure situations and perform on big stages?

Nah.  Probably not.

Maybe Georgie Stoop Is Onto Something...

Boyfriend demanded I read it.  I read it.  I cried a bit:

Andy Roddick is not George Bailey. He's not ordinary. He's the No. 6 tennis player in the world. He's a multi-multi-millionaire tennis player married to a swimsuit model. He hops around the world and hosts Saturday Night Live and probably wouldn't even want to win the lottery because of the tax complications.

But here's the thing: He wanted to win Wimbledon. I mean, yes, of course he wanted to Wimbledon, but you could see from the first point on that he WANTED to win Wimbledon, that it was hugely important to him, that it was everything to him. You could surmise from his look and intensity that this was, in fact, what he had been dreaming about since he was a little boy. This was his moment, and few really thought he could win. As soon as the match began -- Roddick facing off against maybe the greatest tennis player ever on his favorite surface -- I felt like it was Roddick staring into the mirror and asking himself that same question that I think most people ask themselves at some point in their lives: "Am I good enough?"

And he was good. He was very, very good. Federer is a beautiful tennis player who hits so many brilliant and impossible-to-reproduce shots that the opponent, at some point, goes, "Oh, geez, what's the point?" I think this is why Rafael Nadal is one of the few players to have success against Federer; he doesn't care about those beautiful shots.

And I think Roddick psyched himself up to not let Federer's splendor blind him on this day. He won the first set by breaking Federer (in rather stunning fashion) and he had Federer on the ropes in the second set. It was, in fact, a shot late in the second set that brought me entirely over to Roddick's side. He was serving at set point, and he charged the net, and Federer was out of position and hit a high shot to Roddick's backhand. It was not an easy volley, certainly not for anyone less than world class. But it was a volley that Roddick could have put away. It was a volley, I imagine, Roddick will see in his mind again.

He missed that volley, of course, Federer won the second and third sets, Roddick showed guts and won the fourth, and then it came down to that massive fifth set with neither player able to break the other's serve. It wasn't especially glamorous tennis -- not like last year's match between Federer and Nadal -- but it was ultra-compelling not (as I expected) because of Federer's chase for his 15th Grand Slam but because of Roddick's desperate chase to beat Federer on Centre Court and be the best in the world on this day.

And the chase became more and more desperate as the games went along. Even though I knew all the while that Roddick would lose at the end, I kept hurting with him, especially in the final games when it was clear that while he might hold off Federer (and he did hold serve TEN STRAIGHT TIMES with the match on the line), he would never actually beat this beast. Federer's last few games were ace after ace after ace; he was in complete control. At some point, the realization had to hit Roddick (like it hit everyone who was watching) that he was only postponing the inevitable. He was not going to win Wimbledon.

That point was the 30th game of the final set. Federer did not hit a single great shot in that game. He simply put the ball in play. And Roddick, who had been so great for so long, made errors and lost the match.

When it ended, Roddick looked like a broken man. And I could feel that pain with him -- couldn't we all? He was damned good. He was probably better than he had ever been in his life. And he wasn't quite good enough. Isn't that the saddest thing about sports? Isn't that the feeling that we all have at that point when we realize that we won't play big league ball, we won't be an NFL starting quarterback, we won't be on the 18th green putting to win the Masters? I remember playing someone on a high school tennis court, losing convincingly and then doing the math: If I wasn't good enough to beat this guy (and I wasn't good enough), and he wasn't even the best player on the team (not even the second best) and our team wasn't that good just in our community (our team wasn't good at all) and Charlotte, N.C., wasn't exactly a tennis mecca and some of the best tennis players nationally weren't even PLAYING high school tennis, they were already out on junior tours or even professionals ... well, wow, I wasn't good enough.

Roddick stared out at the court, and he seemed to be on that aqueduct between crying and bravado, and then he said a few words -- congratulated Federer, thanked the fans, all that. Then Federer, trying to be a gentleman like always, tried to compare Roddick's feelings of loss to his own one year earlier when he had lost to Nadal. Roddick was not having any of it: "Yeah," he said, "but you had already won five times." Federer smiled and repeated the line without a terrible amount of sympathy. There was no way Federer could understand.

But I felt like I did understand. I really like Andy Roddick now. On Sunday at Wimbledon, he offered that rare fan feeling: He made me feel like we had been through something together.

The British Press Get On Their Knees, Give A-Rod A Consolation BJ

Well, at least some of them. 

Roddick went back to his chair, dropped his racket at his feet and stared at the ground, to be roused by shouts of "Roddick, Roddick". Not even in New York, at home, where he won his ground-breaking first grand-slam title in 2003, had the crowd reacted to him so. He rose and applauded them back. One hoped that at home, the Americans were raising their chilled beers to him. He had been heroic, he had been human, he had given all he had.

They realize it was Andy RODDICK, right?  Ok, just checking.

Eight Hours Is Up. And Now For The Airing Of The Grievances.

Unless you're wearing that ironically, you're a fucktard. 

Fuck you and your non-ironic statement t-shirt.


Sure, just sink into that hug, fucker.  Fuck you and your neediness.


Hey!  What does that 15 stand for?  15 ways you've been a douchebucket over the years? 
Can I start the list?  Fuck you and your color coordinated jacket.


Fuck you for not issuing a code violation for general douchetasticness.

Fuck you and your condescension.  I would think you've had a few recent, first hand examples of winning with class.  But I guess you were too self-absorbed in your sorrow and tears to take notes. 

Fuck you for not whacking him with that plate.


Fuck you and your impossible ability to outserve Andy on his best serving day, like, ever.


Yeah, you're a Fed fan.  OBVIOUSLY.  Fuck you.


Fuck you for giving me hope.


Fuck you and your lip-quivering wifeyness.


Mmmm....I do want to fuck you.


Fuck you for being awesome but marrying that fucker. 


Fuck you for making me cry.


Sigh.  FUCK.  YOU.

Phew!  I feel so much better.

Oh, and before all you FedTards start trying to sign up for accounts to flame me, please look up the word "irreverent".  It'll do you good.  Oh, and also, fuck you.

Can I Get A "1 (But It Doesn't Count Because It Wasn't Wimbledon), But Keep On Trying, Andy" Splash Page?

No?  Ok.  Just thought I'd ask.

Tricky Dick

I think it's funny that when he was #2 he had no problem waving the "#1" finger around, but now that he's back to #1 it's all about the deuce.  Ah well, do what you do, GOATBucket.

And today he did what he does, coming back to beat a TOTALLY FUCKING DESERVING A-Rod in five sets, 57 76 76 36 16-14.  That's quite the scoreline and all the pictures of a completely gutted Andy, who once again has to hold the consolation prize in another Slam final tussle with Roger, says it all.

I've never hidden my dislike for Andy, which has primarily been driven by his Ugly American jackassery, which rears its ugly head more often than anyone would like to admit.

But for all of that ugly crap, there are matches like today's, where Andy puts it all on the line, works his ass off, leaves it all on the court, and then, when he falls short and suffers ungodly heartbreak, stands there and takes it like man.  I was really proud of him today and I mean that with no condescension intended.  Good on ya, Andy.

 

So congrats to all my FedKids (Vetmama, greenhopper, Jackie, gauloises, C1, Pspace, Carrie, 'Pop, Maz).  Y'all have had to endure a lot of shit over the past year (90% of it coming from me, obviously) and your boy has finally come through.  Must feel pretty damn good.  As your reward I will bite my tongue for the next 8 hours to give you time to celebrate before I tear Fed a new one. 

Enjoy the silence.

Air Quotes: All for Naught.

Q. How would you describe what you did today?

ANDY RODDICK: I lost.

15.

Good thing that monogram was there.  Otherwise I'd never know who this was.

Just kidding.  The wrist hair gave it away.

Still watching the match.  Don't have much to say just yet.  But knowing the outcome I'm already gutted for Andy.  He blinked five times.  But I guess when you're playing the GOAT that's all he needs.

Anyway.  Figured people might need to vent.  Feel free in the comments (as though you needed any encouragement). 

All I'll say is that I'm really looking forward to seeing the "15" on Fed's Nike jacket.  Maybe then my sadness for Andy will transform into pure unadulterated spite for the GOATbag.

Pic This: America, Fuck Yeah!

If I walked into a dark alley and saw these two waiting for me, I might have to shitting the pants.

Pardon if there's no blogging for a while.  I need to run out and find me that cardy.

Obligatory "Fuckthatguyhemakesitalllookssoeasy" picture.

Miles!!!  Nomnomnom...

Not this year.

Getting ready for Sunday, I see.


They make take my life, but they're never take away my Judy!

Alba gu bra!  Alba gu bra!

When did B-Decks turn into Bridgette Wilson?  Weird.

America.  Destroying the dreams of people of all race, creeds, religions, and fandoms.

Happy Independence Weekend, everyone! 

Remember, 10 fingers is equal to greater than or equal to 9 fingers.  Be responsible.

You Made Kim Sears Cry. I Hope You're Proud Of Yourself.

Behind those aviators lie the eyes of a sad puppy. 

Well congratulations are in order, I suppose.  Congrats to A-Rod for being the nail on the on Wimbledon coffin for me.  Everyone tells me I'm supposed to think SW19 is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but...no.

But seriously, A-Rod deserves much props.  I totally thought he would be Muzz but I didn't want to believe it.  But the guy's serve is clicking, he's in great shape, and he's playing with clear purpose and focus.  He won't beat Fed but I'm not sure anyone would on Sunday.  So sure, why not, let's send the American Bully into Center Court to get slaughtered.  Why not?

 

As for Muzz, he'll be fine.  He played well (apparently, seeing as how NBC WON'T SHOW ME HIS MATCH FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS!!!), but A-Rod was just serving too well today.  It happens, and it definitely happens at Wimbledon.

Q. Overall, how would you assess this tournament?

ANDY MURRAY: I think it's been very good. I did better than I ever had before. I had some very good matches. And, you know, I thought I played good tennis.

I thought I dealt with everything that was sort of put in front of me well. You know, I'll come back next year and try and do better.

But it was a good tournament. Wasn't bad at all.

Q. On that point, you went a round further than last year; you're 22 years old. You'll leave here more convinced that you can win Wimbledon now?

ANDY MURRAY: Yeah, I think I have a chance. And I think the way that I played this year, you know, it was very, very close to getting to the final. If I give myself those sort of opportunities and keep playing well, and my consistency in the Grand Slams the last year or so has been much, much better, you know, a final, a semi and a quarter, I'm going to give myself opportunities to do it.

I believe I can win a Grand Slam, whether it's Wimbledon or US Open or Australia or whatever, I'm going to give myself chances.

Q. What is the overriding memory or lesson that you take from this slam to put into future matches?

ANDY MURRAY: I'm not sure. I mean, I need a bit more time to think about that. But, like I said, it's been a very good, productive tournament for me. I think, like I said, I played well. You know, unfortunately the last few slams that I've lost I've come up against some guys that have played great, great tennis.

You know, mentally for me, I've got much better at it, understanding that guys can do that against you. That's happened to me a few times now in slams. I need to keep making sure I bring my best game to the court in every match.

See you in 5 weeks, Muzz.  Spend some time some time with your ugly girlfriend. 

As for A-Rod, have fun getting fucked in the ass by Roger on Sunday.  Hope his dick doesn't break off.

I'm Rooting For The Underdog

So a debate has been raging on for quite some time now (2 days) between Victoria and me regarding who's the hotter WAG: B.Decks (Victoria) or K.Sears (Moi).  We are now at an impasse.  So we open up the debate on this rather slowish tennis news day.

More pics after the jump (seriously, this was a really embarrassing post to put together at work).

Heeeeeey [/fonz]

A-Rod survives a heroic charge by Lleyton and finds himself in the semis.  Whoa.

I honestly don't have much to say about this match because I haven't seen it, nor was I able to scoreboard watch or read anything about it.  But given the scoreline it sounds like it was pretty darn epic.

Tough loss for the Lawnmower Man.  I don't like the dude, but it would have been kinda nice to see him make a run here.  But for serious, as much as I'm not a fan, kudos to Andy.  He put in the hard yards, dropped weight, dropped coaches, and look at him now.  All credit to him for doing what he had to do to put him in a position to do well this year. 

Shit.  I'm going soft. 

Pic This: "You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, And Gosh Darn It, People Like You."

Aw, how sweet. 

But I've read Revelations.  God may love you if you lose, Andy, but the apocalypse will come.  No pressure!

Boom Boom in da hizz.  Kind of a surreal shot there.


Boo.  You lost.  How dare you.


Yeah, I made the same face when I found out too.  Everyone loves Gonzo.


This just looked like a picture I should post.  But I honestly have nothing witty to say about it.

Convo during the Muzz/Viktor match:

Cousin: Diadora makes tennis clothes?
Me: Apparently.
Cousin: Does Kappa make tennis clothes?
Me: How awesome would it be if someone was sponsored by Umbro?

Ok, it was a much funnier conversation than it seems.  Take my word for it.  That Umbro line is GOLD.

Oh, Flavs.  We still love you.

Dinara: "So...should we cancel the surprise party?"
Nads: "NAAAAAHHHH."

Oh, Tomas.  Don't ever change.

No Taxation Without Representation!

Greatest Hit Face Ever.

Nice day for the American men and women with two expected wins and two surprises. 

A-Rod and Venus are looking solid, Venus in particular.  But Andy's been serving and moving well.  Who knows, he actually might have a shot here. 

Yeah, probably not.  But it's going to be fun watching him try.  It's like watching a blind puppy repeatedly crashing into a glass door.  You know it's sad and you shouldn't laugh, but come on, IT'S COMEDY GOLD.

As for the surprises, who had Melanie Oudin and Jesse "Marat Slayer" Levine going into the third round?  Nice runs, you two.

And these two won their dubs match.  In case you missed it on ESPN when they decided to ignore all the other interesting single matches.  Nice.

 

Without Photo Evidence, I Refuse To Believe It

But in other dude news, A-Rod came out of the gate with a somewhat impressive performance over newly-shorn Jeremy Chardy, who all of sudden looks Robredoesque.  Rod made only 9 unforced errors.  On grass.  That's, and I hate to phrase it this way, Rafa-like.

Then again, he still needed four sets to seal the win.  Which seems to indicate that maybe he was playing a little too safely on his return games.  I'm not asking you to go all Blah on us, Andy, but you really do have to pick it up and play more aggressively on the green stuff.

Elfy also pwned on his first match on grass since last year's Wimbly and in a somewhat shocking development, Gilly and his one good knee won in straight sets.

According to the Wimbledon website, Ernie won.  I checked my calendar and its not April Fool's, Christmas, or my birthday.  So...nice try, Wimbledon.  I will not fall for your poorly edited scoreboard.  And also, that is a mean mean joke.

Pic This: Wimbly Warmup

 
I've been a bit lazy with Wimbly practice pics.  I shall try and make amends now.


There's been a bit of ankle grabbing going on during the practice sessions.  Both Serena and Blah were having some trouble with their footing and weren't looking particularly comfortable.


So what do you guys think?  Are you taking Williams sisters or the field? 


Fed's been looking relaxed, no surprise as to why.  Lots of laughs with the boys.


Nole on the other hand seems to have been Mr. Serious on the practice courts. 


Is Nole planning to rock a sweater vest?


Obligatory "A-Rod Looks So Fucking American" pic.


Lots of folks picking Shazzy to at least make the semis. 


Just cuz.

 
gomuzz [/whisper]

Uh, I'm Not Sure "Marat's The Bomb!!!" Constitutes A Bomb Threat.

Andy and Lleyton's second round match was delayed due to the discovery of a bomb threat written on the bathroom wall.  I guess I can't give the tourney officials shit seeing as how we were all lamenting how lax security is these days. 

But once play got underway it sounded like a fantastic match that A-Rod eventually eked out, 76 76.  It's gonna be tough beating Andy in a tiebreak on grass if that serve is clicking, which it has been.

But otherwise it was a day of no surprises.  Muzz keeps winning (though it looks like his weiner's bleeding), Americans and Ivo mindlessly bash their way to wins, and Gilles lost.  It's sad that that's not even close to being a shock to me anymore.

Singles - Third Round
[1] A Murray (GBR) d [16] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 64 64
[2] A Roddick (USA) d [15] L Hewitt (AUS) 76(2) 76(4)
[14] M Youzhny (RUS) d [3] G Simon (FRA) 61 26 62
[6] J Blake (USA) d S Querrey (USA) 64 46 63
[8] M Fish (USA) d [10] F Lopez (ESP) 61 64
[9] I Karlovic (CRO) d [Q] N Mahut (FRA) 63 64
J Ferrero (ESP) d [Q] X Malisse (BEL) 64 76(4)

Four Dudes On The Grassy Knoll

No upsets in Queens today, unless you're an idiot and think Ernie losing in the first round is an upset.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  *I'm* upset.  "It's* not.  That said, I'm sure someone will pick him as a sleeper for Wimbly.  And now that I've called person an idiot I'm sure Ernie will pull a LaMonf and march to the quarters just to spite me.  Which I would totally be ok with.

Looks like somebody got a brand spanking new set of ankle braces for Wimbledon.  How cute.

The American boys put a bold-face, underline, small caps, on their "WE HATE CLAY! WE LOVE GRASS.  IT AWARDS AGGRESSION" deal.  Blah, Sockless, Rod, and Sam all won.

Singles - Second Round
[2] A Roddick (USA) d K Vliegen (BEL) 61 64
[6] J Blake (USA) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 62 76(4)
[8] M Fish (USA) d M Llodra (FRA) 57 76(5) 63
[4] G Monfils (FRA) d A Golubev (KAZ) 63 36 76(5)
[10] F Lopez (ESP) d D Istomin (UZB) 76(3) 46 76(5)
S Querrey (USA) d [Q] K Anderson (RSA) 75 63

Singles - First Round
[9] I Karlovic (CRO) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 63 76(11)
A Martin (ESP) d [13] E Gulbis (LAT) 76(9) 64
J Ferrero (ESP) d [WC] S Grosjean (FRA) 62 21 ret. (right shoulder)
S Darcis (BEL) d P Capdeville (CHI) 36 63 64
J Benneteau (FRA) d D Koellerer (AUT) 63 64

Pic This: "Who The Hottest In The World Right Now, Just Touched Down In London Town."

Hmmm...ya think Blah's happy to get off clay?

God, the shirt.  THE SHIRT.

A-Rod's ready to rock and roll, too.  Incidentally, I never really notice now much weight Andy's lost until I see pics.  Dude is mildly manorexic.

Rolling On Dubs

 
I do love the beginning of the "specialty surface seasons" because everyone plays doubles in order to get more familiarity with the surface.  And of course, that leads to fun doubles teams that leave you scratching your head but totally intrigued.

Muzz/Lleyton and A-Rod/R-Ram were engaged in a long battle today in Queens.  Muzz/Lleyton eventually prevailed, 36 63 12-10, saving a match point on the way.

From Muzz's Twitter:

From A-Rod's Twitter:

Nice to see the boys having some fun.

This is all a long way of saying this...

BABY E AND SABINE ARE PLAYING DUBS IN EASTBOURNE!!!

Callin' Out.

All credit to ESPN for calling itself out.  From their 5 things we learned today feature:

1. Dinara Safina is playing like the favorite: Through two rounds she has lost a total of exactly … uh, two games -- in less than two hours. The No. 1-ranked Russian rolled qualifier Vitalia Diatchenko 6-1, 6-1. Since she ascended to the top spot, Safina has won 16 of her 17 matches on clay. She got to the final here a year ago and made the Australian Open final earlier this year. This, clearly, represents her best chance to join brother Marat as a Grand Slam champion.

Safina's coach, Zeljko Krajan -- naturally -- was again disappointed in her play.

"If one day he's going to be happy, I think I'll finish my career," she said. "He's never happy. Even today, he's not happy."

2. And Ana Ivanovic is starting to play like the defending champion: There have been some dicey moments this year -- like losing in the third round of the Australian Open and her second matches in Miami and Rome -- but her form seems to be returning.

Ivanovic torched Tamarine Tanasugarn 6-1, 6-2 and she said she thinks she can repeat at Roland Garros.

"I do," she said, "and I worked very hard for it and know I have a game."

3. ESPN.com's "experts" asleep at the wheel: The four women tabbed by six ESPN.com writers as sleepers -- Amelie Mauresmo (2), Patty Schnyder (2), Sabine Lisicki and Kaia Kanepi -- all lost in the first round. Sleepers, did we say sleepers? We meant to place them in the early-exit category.

"If Gulbis loses, I'm completely inept with my pre-tournament picks," said tennis writer Bonnie Ford, eyeing the scoreboard with disgust early in the day.

Ten minutes later, Ernests Gulbis -- Ford's male sleeper -- fell to Nicolas Almagro in four sets. What's the French word for inept?

"Incapable," said Ford, who speaks fluent French, explaining that the word is the same in both English and French.

4. Andy Roddick is the last American man standing: As a corollary to No. 3 -- and a public service, no doubt -- we are compelled to further mention that no fewer than four ESPN.com experts (who shall remain nameless) chose Roddick as their candidate for an early exit. With the loss by California native Robert Kendrick to Gilles Simon in the second round, 5-7, 0-6, 1-6, Roddick is the LAMS.

Did we mention that Simon and fellow Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who now appear to be in terrific form, were the other two early-exit choices?

Tapping Momo as a sleeper and Gilly and Jo as early exits weren't bad calls.  But Sabine?  Everyone knew she was pretty injured coming into RG.  Kaia Kanepi?  Uh...yeah...I don't know what that was about. 

But really, say it with me...ERNIE???

I guess I don't really understand how Bonnie Ford can be SO SHOCKED that Ernie lost.  My only guess is that while the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night to watch Ernie lose ever so beautifully (though let's face it, he hasn't been losing beautifully lately) Bonnie's doing the smart and rational thing and sleeping. 

Pfft.  Weak humans.

Pic This: Dina's Deli Is Full Service

Day 2 and come and gone.  But it left us with some great Kodak memories.


Shirtless Kolya!

or...

Shirtless Kolya?


Augh.  I've totally been there, Igor.  You should probably switch to Dailies.


"Do you want them toasted with schmear?"



I don't know what was going on in Tammy's match vs. Camille, but it seemed like a dance party.


Seriously, Andy.  One size.  That's all I ask. 


Jeremy, you're borderline offensive, too.  I'm sure there's a way to wear Lacoste so that it fits.


Mmmm.  Pretty.

Just Did It.

 
I'm digging both NIke kits.  Rafa's is subversive in its own way and Fed in light blue with the orange trim actually makes him look fresh and not like the old fogey that he is. 

See?  I can be complimentary.

Stan survived a 5 setter over Devilder.  Nice job, Stanley.

3.5 Americans won on clay!

Masha came back from a set down to eventually win fairly easily.  Serve and dress notwithstanding she was looking really good off both sides. Lateral movement looked good and she's still able to whack the ball into the corners and find some angles.  But she's faced with the same questions Ana is: Can she hold serve against the bigger hitters?

And Venus "gave away" the second set to Bethanie before pulling out the three set win.  Tough luck for Bethanie, who looked like she was struggling with a right wrist problem during the match.


And is Alexa Glatch the real deal?  Again, it's not that she's beating top 30 players, she's demolishing them.  Benesova, Kvitova, and now Flavia, 1 and 1.  Where'd this kid come from?


Jay Z won and K-Bond is the only Bond left in the draw as she took out Peppermint Patty.


One match didn't finish.  Vera D and Caro are locked at a set a piece before the match was suspended for darkness.  Come on, Caro.

Players Who Suck Take The Practice Court

How dare you show your face around these parts?  Loser.


I would kill for those legs.


I had to do a double take to recognize who this was. 


Gael is questionable for RG. He said he's hoping for a miracle in the next 6 days.  Then again he's such a drama queen, though, considering he's French, isn't saying much.


Aww...Americans on clay.  They try so hard but it still doesn't look right.


Pretty.


Anyone know what his shirt says? 

(Pics from RG website)

Pic This: It's A Shame The BryBros Were Stuck In MC

This pic could have been way more awesome.  Or is it "awesomer"?

Uh...You're Not Brangelina. WTF?

Apparently, contrary to all the reports that it was happening this weekend, Andy and Brooklyn got married tonight.

Look, I get that you wanted it to be private and avoid the spotlight and all that but come on.  I mean, I'm a tennis and *I* didn't even care.  Did you really have to be all clandestine about it?

Congrats to RodDeck.  May your lives together be the stuff catalogs are made of.

Mazel tov!

Just Say "Dick" And Elton Comes Running

According to Deadspin, A-Rod and Brooks are getting married this weekend in Austin.  Elton John is on the guest list. 

Yeah, take the time to process that one.

Who'd This Kid Have To Schtoop To Get Creds?

Time For Kids sent, well, a kid, to cover IW.  I actually saw her all over the place.  Hard worker, that one.  Methinks Time better be sure they're not breaking any child labor laws.  I know times are tough, but come on.

Thanks to noname for the link.

A Good Carpenter Never Blames His Tools

"The other semi-final will be between Djokovic, who was taken to the doctor feeling unwell after beating Jo-Wilfried Tsonga on Wednesday, and Roger Federer, who admitted that his loss to Nadal in the Wimbledon final had been a long-term hurt to him that may have affected his form. However this seemed nothing to the emotional damage from which Roddick appeared to be suffering during his 17th loss in 19 matches to the holder of 13 Grand Slam titles. After a 6-3, 4-6, 6-4 defeat, Roddick had a fit of rage in the tunnel leading out of the stadium, emptied the contents of his bag on the floor and smashed what looked like every single racket one after the other upon the concrete."

(Source)

Air Quotes: This One Hurt.

"I'm not capable of being objective right now."

-- Andy Roddick, in response to a question asking him to analyze his 63 46 64 loss to Fed.  Shockingly short presser. 

Tough loss for Andy to end the hardcourt season on.  He had Fed and let him go, just couldn't convert the break points.  Nice win for Fed, though the lapses of concentration have to be a concern.  He'll take on Novak in the SF. 

Not In Their Backyard

Weird.  The BryBros have won every Slam and Masters title except for Indian Wells.  They were summarily dismissed by Ram/Mirnyi.  Congrats on being the upset of the day, boys.

Otherwise it was generally business as usual.  Was there really ever a doubt that Rod was going to beat Nole?  I just thought it would take longer than an hour and eight minutes.  I didn't even have time to finish my lemon slushie.  Pfft.  What a boring match. 

I missed Rafa's match because I was watching Baby E practice.  But once I got back and saw the score I went for dinner.  Another dusting.

As for the ladies the veterans showed the much-hyped upstarts that they have a ways to go.  In both cases it was 50% of the vets playing solidly and 50% the upstarts wilting under the heat and pressure. 

ATP Main Draw Singles - Quarterfinals
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d [6] J Del Potro (ARG) 62 64
[7] A Roddick (USA) d [3] N Djokovic (SRB) 63 62

WTA Main Draw Singles - Semifinals
[4] V Zvonareva (RUS) d [8] V Azarenka (BLR) 63 63
[5] A Ivanovic (SRB) d A Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 62 63

ATP Main Draw Doubles - Semifinals
M Mirnyi (BLR) / A Ram (ISR) d [1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) 62 64
M Fish (USA) / A Roddick (USA) d R Gasquet (FRA) / S Wawrinka (SUI) 64 76(4)

WTA Main Draw Doubles - Semifinals
G Dulko (ARG) / S Peer (ISR) d [6] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) 63 63

Semifinal Saturday OOP:

STADIUM 1 start 11:00 am
V Azarenka (BLR) / V Zvonareva (RUS) vs G Dulko (ARG) / S Peer (ISR) - WTA DOUBLES FINAL
Not Before 1:00 PM
[4] A Murray (GBR) vs [2] R Federer (SUI) - ATP
[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs [7] A Roddick (USA) - ATP
M Mirnyi (BLR) / A Ram (ISR) vs M Fish (USA) / A Roddick (USA) - ATP DOUBLES FINAL

(Pic by Love All for Forty Deuce)

This Could Get Ugly...Again

Having spent the week here I have come to begrudgingly accept the following fact: the people of Indian Wells LOVE their Americans.  It' so bizarre to see teenage girls swooning over Bob/Mike Bryan as if they're JoBros.  I mean, seriously?  Janko?  Marat?  Jo?  Bolleli?  Those are guys you swoon over. 

All this is to say that Nole might be lucky that his countrywoman has been awarded the Friday night match and the economy is down.  He'll be able to play Andy in a not close to full stadium, and I'm sure a bunch a of Serb fans will make the trek to cheer on their Serbs for the day.  That said, it's also going to be pretty hot tomorrow and Nole/Andy are scheduled to take the court during the hottest time of the day.  So....

Of course, with this matchup looming both guys got questions in their pressers about the status of their relationship in light of the USO debacle.  It sounds like there's a detente, but they won't be sharing a milkshake anytime soon:

Q. Put behind you what happened in New York, the off-the-court comments?
ANDY RODDICK: I think so. We talked about it that night. You know, and I think the whole thing, with our history and then whatever happened in Australia, I think that went through and it was fine.
I think the thing that needs to be recognized is regardless of our history, I think we've always respected each other's games, and I think we respect what the other has accomplished.
I think we understand in this game you're going to -- you know, when you're playing for that much and that much is at stake, you're going to have your rows with people. We talked about it. Are we best friends? Probably not, but I think we have a lot of respect for each other.

Q. With Ljubicic, remember, at the 2000...
ANDY RODDICK: '03.

Q. Yeah.
ANDY RODDICK: We're fine. We're probably friendlier than we've ever been. You know, it happens.

Q. But as far as just having that and burying the hatchet.
ANDY RODDICK: I think you just -- like you do with any relationship, regardless whether you're close with the person or not, if it's there you just address it. Even if you don't see it the same way, you just address it, and maybe agree to disagree. Move on, you know. I think we're professionals and we're adults, so it's over.

...

Q. I don't ask this question with any disrespect, but all of us in our lives, we look back at things and say, Hey, I could have handled that differently. Do you have any thoughts about that night with Andy at the Open and the crowd and how you handled that?
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, look, I don't really like to talk about it anymore, because what's been -- what happened, it happened really. You learn from your mistake, as you said. I reacted the way I felt in that moment. Maybe it was right, maybe it was wrong. Everybody has a right to an opinion.
It's just behind me, and I want to, you know, take the best out of it and just continue on.

Q. Well, let me just follow up by taking a different approach. Do you enjoy playing in the United States?
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Of course. Of course. I have no reason -- I mean, that happened. Look, we are having a really difficult, you know, season playing so many tournaments. And every match, especially if you play quarterfinals of the Grand Slam, it's so important, it's crucial, and it's frustrating for everybody, you know. And.
You are going through so many emotions, and it's not easy to handle everything. So I will not think differently in a way of liking to play here or not just because that happened with Andy for one night.
So as I said, I still like playing here, and I made, you know, best results next to the Grand Slam title here.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to it.  I'm not looking forward to being a Nole fan in a sea of A-Rod love.  But our "good" tickets kick in tomorrow and I'll be courtside, where the crowd is much more chill and apathetic (ironically).  I think Andy will take it but I just hope that Nole makes him work for it and pushes it to three. 

Pic This: It's Friday, I'm In Love

 

Air Quotes: I'm In Your Head, Andy.

Q: What's the fastest you've ever served?

ANDY RODDICK: 263 miles an hour (laughter). If I was a car, I'd be a Ferrari. No, I'm joking (laughter). I'm joking. Don't let that be a headline somewhere. Completely joking. 155. Lost a little.

Seriously, no one write that Ferrari line. Don't do it (laughter). Please, don't.

-- A-Rod, after his Davis Cup win on Sunday

Pic This: Yup, The Backhand Still Sucks.

Brain. Does. Not. Compute.

Bears.  Beets.  Andy Roddick.

Note to Andy:  I do not appreciate your recent Awesomeness Offensive.

I do not appreciate it AT ALL.

(Courtesy of Rainn Wilson's Twitter feed)

Mmmm...Nice Watch.

Andy got his revenge over the Streaking Steps.  So congrats to Andy.  The guy deserves some validation after all the hard work he's put in. 

See?  I can be nice.

Hey look!  A not horrible picture of Radek!  Still had a solid performance today.  I don't think anyone wants to be drawing this guy right now.

Radek Roddick Redux

So it'll be a rematch of their San Jose semifinal match that saw Radek come out on top.  We'll see what happens here.  Radek beat Dudi 2 and 1 and A-Rod had to fight it out with Lleyton after dropping the first set, 26 76(4) 64.

I'm with those of you who enjoy Radek's game.  Whenever one of his matches comes on TTC I'll watch it.  The variety is fun.  That said, I definitely prefer to not watch in HD.