Forty Deuce

Dick For Evil

Out.

 

In.

How To Discredit Your Entire Article In One Sentence.

Not just any sentence.  The first sentence.

That's just infuriating and a slap in the face to tennis fans.  No one, and I mean NO ONE, would consider the 09 final the Greatest Match Ever, *especially* given the fact that it came on the heels of, oh, THE ACTUAL GREATEST MATCH OF ALL TIME.  Shit, it wasn't even a good final.  Most everyone that I know who watched thought the actual match was boring as shit, but the drama that built as they kept holding serve was what made it fun. 

Oh, and by the way, if you're going to call it the Greatest Match Ever, shouldn't you be nominating the guy who actually won the match?

Fail, Albert Chen.  So much fail.

"What Would You Be if You Weren't a Tennis Player?" "Unemployed."

1. Is Shawshank Redemption the new Da Vinci Code on the ATP?
2. I'm not sure who the Romanian guy is, but something about envisioning him playing doubles with Ilie Nastase is hilarious.
3. Doubles players are pretty, too! Why hello, Nenad and Mark.
4. Enough of the self-pimping, Bryan brothers. Although the self-pimping might be preferable to listening to "#41" to get "pumped" before a match. The hell?

Cheeky British Humor

Ahem. 

So this pic pretty much sums up my impression of the Wimbledon Museum. 

It was unintentionally hilarious.

 

Another gem, which, when you pull back, reveals a third bunny:

 

Random?  Yes.  Awesome?  Absolutely.

 

The Champions display is right when you get to the bottom of the stairs.  I saw this.  I laughed quite hard.  I may have said, "They have the fuckin' Sergeant Pepper jacket???" a little too loud.  I really shouldn't drink before noon.

Fed shoes.

 

Dick shoes.

Muzz's shorts.  Unfortunately I left my glass cutter at the flat. 

Not gonna lie.  Wanted to smell them.

DG kept pointing out ugly pictures of Muzz in the Wimbly Store and asking, "Really, dude?  This guy?"

Yes, dude.  That guy.  To quote Brodie, "I would."

Nice that they gave Lena D some love.  This was her semifinal outfit. 

In a rather impossible feat, it looks even cheaper in person.

 

Billy Jean King and Rod Laver's racquets.  Seemed like something I should geek out at. 

Ashamed to admit I did not. 

There was actually quite a bit of historical stuff about the evolution of lawn tennis.  Here's my problem though: I actually kind of hate grass court tennis.  So it was difficult to actually care.  Also, the whole grass thing seems elitist and Victorian.  As you all know, I am a woman of the people.  It was hard not to roll my eyes at some of the displays.

Enjoyed seeing the white balls though.  Mainly because I like white balls.

Movingrightalong...

 

I was very confused by this.

 

Donkeygrooming found this one.  Shirtless Marat?  Wimbly knows what's up.

 

And in the most random pairing of players on the wall....

All in all it was a fun to see the museum but I wouldn't pay separately to see the stuff that was there.  If you book a tour then the museum admission is included.  One thing that surprised me: How little was made of the GMOAT.  I hope that's because they're trying to figure out how to best commemorate the match.  It would have been really cool to see the grass/dirt stained shirt Rafa wore when he fell to the ground.  Or even some video with commentary.  

Then again, maybe that's not Wimbledon's style.  It's clear from the tour and the museum that they want to focus on the full narrative of Wimbledon and not just singular moments. 

Going a Little Far to Prove a Point, Don't You Think?

I mean, we get it.  The season's long.  People get hurt.  No need for a demo.

 

Hmmm, that makes it look a little like he just went ahead and got it amputated, right on court.  Andy retired against Stan, up 4-3 in the first, due to a knee injury.  He should be okay for qualifying for WTF (God, I love using that), but he doesn't seem to know quite what's wrong with the knee.  That's no good.

The other minor upset of the day was Tomas beating Marin in 3 sets.  I say minor because, although of course Marin is higher ranked and has more success these days, Tomas is dangerous when he can keep his head together.  Also, he is very, very pretty.

 

That's not from today, obviously, it's just illustrative.  Anyway, he plays Marat next.  At 2 a.m. my time.  Don't think I haven't thought about it.

No other huge surprises in Shanghai today, unless you count Ivan Ljubicic winning a match as surprising.  Which, even though I love him, I generally do.  Oh, and Almagro d. Kohlschreiber.  I hope Philipp wasn't up too late programming new music into his homepage or something.

Singles - First Round
[9] R Soderling (SWE) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 64
[11] G Monfils (FRA) d P Mathieu (FRA) 62 62
T Berdych (CZE) d [12] M Cilic (CRO) 76(8) 36 64
[15] T Haas (GER) d B Becker (GER) 76(5) 64
J Melzer (AUT) d J Chardy (FRA) 64 64 
L Hewitt (AUS) d J Isner (USA) 62 64
I Ljubicic (CRO) d J Benneteau (FRA) 63 36 61
N Almagro (ESP) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 67(2) 61 76(6)
V Troicki (SRB) d J Monaco (ARG) 61 62 

Singles - Second Round
S Wawrinka (SUI) d [4] A Roddick (USA) 34 ret. (left knee)
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 64 62
[10] F Gonzalez (CHI) d [Q] T Bellucci (BRA) 63 64
[13] R Stepanek (CZE) d A Beck (GER) 75 64

Roadmap Redux?

The ATP season goes another 5 weeks (6, if you're playing Davis Cup finals), and players are not happy about it. 

“I can tell you that six weeks is simply not enough time to recover from 

the excesses of a season,” [Roddick] said. “We played almost 11 

months, we have a solid block of mandated events, we have to play four 

of the 500 the number of ranking points on offer] tournaments, the 

demands are getting harder."

It seems like this crops up in some form every year, but this was the first time I heard this bandied about:

Although restraint of trade is far from the players’ minds, it is 

beginning to dawn on the more vocal among their number that 

suggesting it may have a seriously unnerving effect. The 

nine-tournament Masters 1000 series — which leads to the Barclays 

ATP World Tour Finals that have moved to the O2 arena in southeast 

London next month — is the ATP’s cash cow and any thought of a 

boycott that affected those events would have the governing body’s 

leaders in a terrible mess.

Strike?  I think it's probably pretty unlikely, but at the same time, part of me wishes they would do it.  Of course, I'm sure that's completely impractical of me; anyone who listens to Forty Deuce Podcast knows that I have a very hard time placing the interests of the business side of sports over the interests of athletes.  But it seems clear (to me) that something needs to be done.  6 weeks of solid off-season is simply not enough to recover from a full season of a sport (like tennis) that demands international travel and near-daily competitive play for the other 10.5 months of the year.  Certainly no tournament will volunteer to be cut out of the calendar, but when the push for money on the business side becomes such that it's hurting (literally) the people who produce the "product" that makes the business possible, something needs to be reevaluated.  The current schedule ignores the simple physiological recovery needs of the athletes-- particularly of the top athletes, who play a full schedule right up to the end of the year.

There's no perfect solution.  Obviously, the WTA has tried to restructure its calendar this year to give players a longer off-season and more rest periods during the year, and its efficacy is questionable-- the players who started the season off strong are mostly ending it exhausted, and Roadmap tournament requirements seem to have been largely responsible for a (nearly) season-destroying injury to a top player (Vera Zvonareva), who played a tournament against medical advice due to contractual obligations.  In my opinion, pressuring a player to play when his or her doctors are advising otherwise is beyond ludicrous.  But there will be people who point out that the same players who complain about the season being too long and hard on their bodies, and the off-season too short, are all too happy to play lucrative exhibitions when they could be resting-- and those claims are not baseless.  

In short, the solution to this problem, if there is one, will take extensive negotiation between the business interests and the athletes that make up the fractious coalition that is the ATP.  What I would really like to see would be for the Players' Council, which now includes 3 of the top 4 players in the world specifically in order to give players clout in the organization, take a hard line about the needs of athletes and force some productive changes.  Not that I have any idea about what those might be, but I'm with Jon Wertheim when he says of Rafa

When one of the sport's most magnetic figures -- a supreme athlete 

and consummate professional -- simply cannot make it through a season 

abiding by the entry rules as currently written, think it might be time to 

rethink the schedule?

I'm Pretty Sure The Jet's Still Warm.

  

Congrats to Shuai Peng, who held her nerve to outlast the One-Armed Whiner in three sets.  I really didn't think Peng had it in her but JJ clearly wasn't getting the stick on her shots.  I don't doubt the arm is bothering her.  I also don't doubt she could have served two fucking points 3 days ago with that arm.  But whatever, I'm moving on.

JJ's still got one more tournament to go.  She'll play Moscow in a couple of weeks and she's on the bubble for Doha.  After the match she said that she would play Doha but not Bali.  I'm sure the WTA loved that.

As for the boys, A-Rod was the big upset of the day, losing in straight sets to Lukasz Kubot.  For all the talk about the amazing year Andy's had, he's really going to need to win a legit' tournament to have something to show for it.  He's won only one title this year, Memphis, and he's still in the race for one of the last three YEC spots.  First round losses sure aren't going help.

Well he's got a week to prepare for Shanghai, where he can pick up a lot of points with a good run. 

Welcome To My House

The 2010 Davis Cup draw came out this morning and while everyone is understandably buzzing about the 1st round tie between Spain and Switzerland, I'm way more pumped for the USA vs. Serbia tie.  Why? 

Because it's in Serbia.

If you think about when Nole's career started to take a weird turn, you have to look back at Sarsapalooza 08, when Andy called out Nole for being injury prone, Nole got mad, New York got mad, and as a result, Nole's brain melted.  I swear it was as though Andy somehow lobotomized him.  The guy has been lost ever since.

So excuse me if I look forward to Nole finally playing Andy on pro-Nole territory.  When they can finally have a match where Nole should feel comfortable letting the Falcon out.  Who knows what will happen, but a Nole win would go a long way for his confidence and at least get Andy out of his head.

Because seriously?  Of all the players to have in your head, does it really have to be A-Rod?  Come on.

Also, will 2010 finally be the year when P-Mac gets his head out of his ass and plays Sam instead of Headband and Socks? 

As for the Spain/Switzerland tie in Spain, I don't know why but I'll be surprised to see Roger there.  And I don't mean that as a slight to him.  I just wonder if that early in the season he'll be willing to go from Australian hardcourts, to clay, and back.  Though, I guess if he was willing to play last week's relegation tie, he must want to add the Davis Cup to his NetJet.  What better way to do it than to beat Rafa.

Pic This: Upset Saturday

What weird Saturday at the Open.  

Didn't have time to post about it but nice win for Nole over Jesse Witten yesterday, and heck of a match from Witten to really push Nole and make us all think an upset was brewing.  Glad as hell that Nole made it through though and that he won't have to face A-Rod....

...thanks to this guy.  Love it.

As my best gay would say, "Uh, pass."

"Heeeeeere's, Johnny!"

Just when I thought Melanie's win would be the match of the day, Halpert brings it.

I honestly didn't think he had it in him.  After A-Rod took the third set I figured Big John would go away.  But he played a smart 5th set, focusing on holding serve and forcing a tiebreak.  Once in the tiebreak it came down to one shot: The cross-court passing shot that gave him the minibreak.  He had match point on his serve, the Bulldog stepped up and delivered despite cramping through most of the 5th set.

As for A-Rod I have no idea what to say.  But this is yet another close match that he's lost out of nowhere.  All credit to him for being able to fight back after being down 2-0, but once again he was stuck serving from behind in the 5th and in the tiebreak, too.  Deja vu can kinda suck.

Pic This: Do You Believe In Magic?

Melanie Oudin's shoes ushered in a crazy day four at the USO. 

What is up with the obsession with Hubba Bubba?

 

Hubba Hubba.

 

Not so much.

 

The forgotten but adorable Swisser.  You go on with your winky self, Chuds.

 

Mmmm...drumstick.

I have stared at this picture for 5 minutes now.  I literally have nothing interesting or funny to say.  So goes my relationship with Tommy Boredo.

 

Seriously.  Sandwiches are your friend, Andy.

 

Blue Steel.

Air Quotes: She's Only Pimping Because We Ask, You Guys.

Choice quotage from Monday, all available at the USO site.  Here's hoping they start posting a more diverse set of players.  Sheesh.

Q. You were having some problems with your serve. Commentators started talking about serving in women's tennis. One of them said the person who serves best will win the tournament. Do you agree with that?

VENUS WILLIAMS: I don't know. I don't care what commentators say. So it's just all, you know, like they aren't on the court winning championships. I don't really... Yeah.

...
Q. You showed a lot of support for Gasquet when he was suspended. He says he appreciates that very much from you. Can you talk about the reason, what went through your mind? You showed so much support for him.

RAFAEL NADAL: The true is I support him a lot. First thing, because I believe in him. Second thing, because I think he's a very nice guy. I know him since 13 years old or 12 years old. I talk with him what happen. He told me he didn't take nothing. So I believe him 100%, and I think you know, it is open. I don't want to speak a lot about that and a lot of history is out about when I speak about that, but it's not 100% perfect sometime. If someone wants to kill you, somebody can kill you, you know? And you didn't do nothing. That's the true, no? That's my feeling what happened with Richard, and of course they say that, no? He won. In the beginning, it was three years, and then it was three years because he didn't take nothing. So I'm very happy for that, and I am sure a lot of players are very happy for Richard.
...

Q. Anything special about the jewelry you're wearing for this tournament?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, I'm wearing my whole collection from the Serena Williams, Signature Statement, which is available on HSN, which I'm really (laughter.) I'm sorry, but he asked, so...
I'm really excited about it because I love jewelry, and I think people really know me for jewelry. It will be available starting September 19.

Q. If you were writing the story about the 2009 US Open women's draw, what would be your lead?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Oh, what would be my lead? Are you trying to get this for your story? (laughter.)
Just making sure. Well, Serena's back where she belongs. 

...

THE MODERATOR: Roger today became the first player to win $50 million in prize money, just to let you know.
ROGER FEDERER: No need to write about that. (Laughter.)

...

Q. How did you injure your ear?
ANDY RODDICK: I have no idea. I have absolutely no idea.

Q. Come on, tell the truth.
ANDY RODDICK: No, I have no idea. I didn't go out there with it like that, I don't think. And then, I don't know, I saw like blood on my towel. I was looking around like this. No idea.

Q. Possible shaving accident?
ANDY RODDICK: No. My ears aren't actually that hairy.

"Pass The Dushie On The Left Hand Side..."

Night session tennis at the USO.  There's nothing like it.  And by that I mean, I generally never watch it.  It always showcases players I don't generally care for, the crowd kind of bugs, and I don't know, I just don't dig it.  But one thing is certain: There's almost always drama.

 

And drama there was as Venus found herself hobbled and two points from getting bounced by Vera Dushevina. 

 

Three games into the match Venus called the trainer to address what looked like a patella tendon issue in her left knee.  After a 10 minute delay play resumed.  To be clear, it didn't *really* look like the knee was hindering her that much.  After some top notch investigative reporting from Pimmy, we've learned that she's been hobbled by the bum knee for as much as 6 weeks.  Take note of that inside information, bookies.

 

As for Vera D, she didn't play great but she somehow found herself a set up after a pretty phenomenal backhand flick pass to seal the tiebreak.  After some back and forth in the second, she was serving at deuce, two points from her biggest win ever.  But Venus stepped up and would reel off the next 5 games and eventually close it out, winning 67(5) 75 63.  All credit to the NY crowd for giving Vera a nice cheer as she left the court.

It was a gutsy performance from Venus.  But this should pretty much put a death knell in all this "The Williams Sisters are the favorites" talk.  Serena is the favorite.  Venus will be lucky to get past the quarters.  Of course now that I've said that she'll probably make it to the semis by just hitting out and serving big.

 

As for the boys, who didn't take the court until around 11pm, there was blood, tumbles, and Phau.  Andy's ear started bleeding at some point (probably from the Rob Thomas performance earlier in the night) and Andy got pissed about having to have it treated.  Apparently the ball kids can't handle any towels that have blood on them.  You'd think Andy would understand that but he seemed really peeved.

Anyway, A-Rod is well on his way to taking the match in straight sets.  He's up 61 64 31.

Oh, Come On.

Here's the thing: If you even know *who* Will Forte is then you have zero excuse for confusing him with Will Arnett.  ZERO.

For The Kids.

The big money stars came out to entertain the kids on a wet Arthur Ashe Kids Day.  And it looked like good times were had by all, even that unidentifiable popped-collar-dbag on the the left.

It's always something, with Serena, no?  She was a born entertainer.

The look of shock and confusion is pretty great.

And the looks didn't really change for Serena either.

One of these things is awesome.  And one of these things is James Blake.

And based on Andy's reaction here, I think you know which is which.

Anyone For Tennis?

Cuz clearly the pros are vacation in NYC. 

A-Rod's off doing some cross training at Yankee stadium.

Venus is busy stimulating the economy...

...and going on cruises.

Masha's off celebrating the other Serena's 22nd birthday...

...and 's dorking it up while schilling her wares. 

(The jury's out on the "comfortability" of the Cole Haan gear.)

Serena's going all retro and getting oiled up...wait a sec...

Well, of course.  I mean, duh.

And then everyone and their mother showed up to the BNP Paribas Taste of Tennis event as if it were a free buffet.  Even the Daveed's sensitive soul couldnt say no to that.  But trust me, he was way emo about it.  Well, or whatever the Spanish equivalent to emo is.

Thankfully Marin actually did show up and dear God I hope he did treat it like a buffet.

Andy broke out his evening hat and manned the bar.  You know, like a good Austin boy would.

Shit, even Bepa showed up.  BEPA!!!  That's how crazy this is!  And dudes!  She even went to the K Swiss event!  Dammit, now I want to just do Patron shots with her.  And that's saying something.  Because I feel about Patron the way Bepa feels about her racquets.

Does *anyone* want to play tennis? 

Let's face it, when Bepa is the only Russian at your cocktail party, something's gone horribly awry.  Unless it's like...a U.N. peacekeeping envoy cocktail party, in which case, you better get ready for a shot of peace with a harmony chaser.

But seriously, where are the Serbs in all this?  You're telling me a party was thrown and Ana wasn't the guest of honor, Nole wasn't invited, and JJ didn't crash it?  What is this world?  And where the fuck are Marat and Dina?  My head hurts.

Please, Clarissa.  Explain it all.

Oh, and Blah put on a suit and signed some books somewhere.

Andy Comes In Second Place AGAIN.

The Anti-Defamation League honored Venus for her "principled stand after an Israeli player was excluded from participating in a Dubai tennis tournament earlier this year."

That's nice and all, and yes, Venus was cool to mention Shahar in her speech.  The speech that she gave AFTER SHE PLAYED IN THE TOURNAMENT AND WON.

"I feel like I did the minimum, just to speak and to say something," Ms. Williams said.  "It shows that whatever little things you can do to make a difference really will help.  I want to thank Shahar for her courage, and I share this award with her."

Ms. Williams said that every player deserves an opportunity to compete, and that while she was disappointed in Dubai's decision to exclude Pe'er, she doesn't think it will happen again.

"If it does, I wouldn't be happy with any player playing the event.  We don't want to be a part of something that's not equal."

Yup, she did do the minimum.  And why it was ok to play the tournament this year, but not if they ever do the exact same thing again, is a pure logic fail.  In case the ADL didn't know, Andy Roddick actually refused to play the tournament completely, specifically citing his opposition to Dubai's shit visa policy.  Oh, and unlike Shahar, Andy Ram was subsequently granted a visa to play.

There are so many factors that go into why that happened and cause and effect can't be directly proven.  But it just seems a bit odd to recognize Venus and not Andy.  He deserves a tip of the gross and disgustingly sweaty cap, too.

Hit Me Up

The players have been hitting the practice court at the BJK center. 

Which of course means practice pics.  

Preferably shirtless ones.  Let's be real.

I wanna lick it.  

I am A-OK with Lanky McLankerson keeping his XXL Fila shirt on though.

No one needs to see a concave chest.

Did LaMonf get a new tattoo?  Or have I just missed that one?

Dude, I am begging you.  Sandwich.  Stat.

Wonder how many racquets were broken in this practice session.

And where there are shirtless boys, you know there will be a JJ nearby.

No official word on how long that shirt stayed on.

Andy Roddick...Headcase?

Could it be? Could that Wimby final have completely rejiggered his brain so that he is, officially, not clutch?

These tight losses are mounting up.  His last 4 losses?  The Wimbly final, DC final in a tight third set tiebreak, Montreal semifinal in a tight three setter, and now second round of CIncy, losing to Sam, 76(11) 76(3).

Afterwards A-Rod would say it was "just a bad night."  Yeah, that's one explanation if you get blown out.  But Sam matched him shot for shot.  Oh, and he blew a 5-2 lead in the first set tiebreak.  I don't know....

Meanwhile, Rafa had to weather the storm (literally and figuratively) to come out on top of Seppi, who played well.  God must be a Fed fan, as the rain caused a number of stoppages in play, most notably during the second set with Rafa facing a break point on his serve.  Of course, because Rafa is Rafa, he came out after the break and boomed an ace.  Awesome.

 

And in the battle of The Sex, Steps won.  Yes, these are the times we live in, folks.

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Federer (SUI) d J Acasuso (ARG) 63 75
[2] R Nadal (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 76(4) 76(3)
[3] A Murray (GBR) d N Almagro (ESP) 76(3) 62
[4] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] I Ljubicic (CRO) 76(5) 64
[Q] C Guccione (AUS) d [7] J Tsonga (FRA) 76(12) 62
[8] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 62 16 63
[16] R Stepanek (CZE) d [WC] M Safin (RUS) 46 63 61
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [Q] M Youzhny (RUS) 75 63
P Mathieu (FRA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 76(9) 64
[LL] J Benneteau (FRA) d J Melzer (AUT) 62 36 62
T Berdych (CZE) d P Petzschner (GER) 76(8) 67(7) 64
J Chardy (FRA) d [WC] J Isner (USA) 67(1) 63 41 ret.
L Hewitt (AUS) d B Becker (GER) 63 63

S Querrey (USA) d [5] A Roddick (USA) 76 

Now You Know How Nole Feels

  Pwned. 

46 62 75, and he had a match point.

There's no other non-word for it.  Elf is now 3-0 against A-Rod, beating him twice in seven days, in two really tight, could have gone either way, matches. 

Welcome to your first Masters final, Elfie. 

I was really impressed with his composure late in that third set.  He seemed so sure of himself, as though he never doubted he would win.

"What'd you say about my Mama?"

The final will be played at 1:30pm Montreal time.

Rusty Bull, Fallen Falcon

Congrats to Elf on his win over Rafa.  He had to fight hard for the first set, eventually winning 76(5) and then cruising in the second set to win 61.  I only saw parts of the first set and though Rafa still looked rusty, it didn't seem like the first set was a "bad" loss.  Not sure what happened in that last set though.

Novak, you ignorant slut.  GET ANGRY!  Play on the edge!  I don't care that it's A-Rod and you're all self-conscious about how you come across to him or to the crowd.  What do you care more about?  Unfortunately, I think I know what the answer is to that question, which is why I don't have much hope for Nole during this USO swing.  Muzz and Rod own him.  In fact, it seems like the one player who can get him up to play with and edge is Feds.  Sigh. 

No Wonder Ana and Fer Got Along

You'd never know who won this match based on the picture. 

But it was Andy, who weathered a strong charge by Fer.  It was obviously a tight match but at 5-5 in the third, Andy broke Fernando (who basically choked that game away) to serve for the match. 

But Fer manned up, saved two match points, and broke back to force a tiebreak (aided by a broken string on match point).  He would go on to completely outmuscle Andy on the first two points of the tiebreak and he seemed to have the momentum.  But Andy was able to right the ship and Fernando calmed down, which meant that Andy took the tiebreak 75.

Which brings us to everyone's favorite rematch of rematches:

Someone just shoot me now.

You Blockhead.

JCF is just tearing up the joint.  He took out Gael The Marat Slayer And Dasher Of Hopes And Dreams, in straight sets, 63 76(7).  Good on you.

A-Rod is back from DC and bounced Igor, 61 76(3).  Eat. A. Sandwich.  Or FOUR.

And Mischa The Giant Killer (literally) followed up his big upset of Marin to take down Halpert 67(8) 61 63.  Impressive stuff from the forgotten Russian.  Well, not really "the" forgotten Russian.  There are lots of them, I guess.

And some Charlie Brown impersonator bolted past the barricades and won a couple of sets.  Security!

Singles - Second Round
[5] A Roddick (USA) d I Andreev (RUS) 61 76(3)
[6] J Del Potro (ARG) d [Q] J Hernych (CZE) 62 75
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) d R Schuettler (GER) 46 63 64
[9] G Simon (FRA) d [Q] A Falla (COL) 46 62 62
[10] F Verdasco (ESP) d L Mayer (ARG) 61 61
[Q] J Ferrero (ESP) d [13] G Monfils (FRA)  63 76(7)
P Petzschner (GER) d [15] T Robredo (ESP) 76(3) 76(4)
M Youzhny (RUS) d J Isner (USA) 67(8) 61 63
V Hanescu (ROU) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 63 46 75
S Wawrinka (SUI) d [LL] A Golubev (KAZ) 75 64

Doubles - Second Round
L Dlouhy (CZE) / P Petzschner (GER) d [4] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) 64 63

Doubles - First Round
[WC] F Dancevic (CAN) / P Duclos (CAN) d N Davydenko (RUS) / I Kunitsyn (RUS) 75 57 14-12
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 63 67(1) 10-6
R Lindstedt (SWE) / M Melo (BRA) d T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) 63 76(4)

Air Quotes: Andys Stick Together.

Andy Murray on the Wimbledon final:

Q. When if you are watching the very end of it, are you actually cheering for one guy or the other, pulling for one guy or the other?
ANDY MURRAY: No. I mean, I think that -- it's tough, because I mean, a lot of people obviously wanted Federer to break the record. It wasn't like I was anti- Federer breaking records, because I've said all along I think he's probably the greatest player ever. So that was never sort of a doubt in my mind.

You know, sometimes it's nice, you know, when you have guys like Roddick who a lot of guys have sort of written off for, well, a number of years, you know, for no reason at all, just, you know, saying that he's not going to win another Slam, it would have been nice to have seen him, you know, win, as well, because he's been around in the top 10 for so many years now and been a great player for so long.
It's just nice when you see guys having a chance. You know, I think he even said a few years ago he didn't necessarily know if he was going to get another opportunity and he came unbelievably close at Wimbledon.

That was nice to see, and I wouldn't have minded seeing Andy win.

Pic This: Dude. Eat A Sandwich.

He's starting to pull a Mischa Barton.  But, like, opposite.

Elf: Defender Of The Crown

I've been in LA for the LA Tourney so needless to say I haven't really been following the haps in DC.  But Elf and A-Rod met in the final (after some solid wins in the semis over Gonzo and Halpert.

Perhaps the tough 3 setter against Isner hurt Andy, but Elf was able to come back to eek out a win and defend his DC title, 3-6, 7-5, 7-6(6).  Nice job, Elfie, tough luck, Andy. 

500

 
Congrats to Andy, who ousted Sam in two tight straight sets for his 500th career win.  And in "ohthankgod" news, Elf survived a strong challenge from the One-Hipped Wonder, winning in a tight third set tiebreaker.

Singles - Third Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d [16] S Querrey (USA) 76(4) 64
[2] J Del Potro (ARG) d L Hewitt (AUS) 64 36 76(2)
[4] F Gonzalez (CHI) d W Odesnik (USA) 62 64
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d M Gicquel (FRA) 75 57 63
[8] T Berdych (CZE) d P Petzschner (GER) 46 63 63
[10] T Haas (GER) d J Ferrero (ESP) 75 26 61
[11] I Karlovic (CRO) d [Q] S Devvarman (IND) 75 61
J Isner (USA) d [Q] S de Chaunac (FRA) 62 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals
[5] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d S Huss (AUS) / R Hutchins (GBR) 64 75

Welcome Back, Andy. See Ya, Jo.

Andy made his triumphant return, beating Benjamin Becker 3 and 2.

Unfortunately it wasn't a great day for Jo, who's sporting an awesome new 'do and has followed the current fad of wearing Karate Kid headbands.  But he fell to Halpert in a closely contested three setter, 46 76(2) 76(4).  Tough luck for Jo, but if you get stuck in tiebreaks with Isner, you've got a tough road.

In other upset news, JCF took out Disco, Sockless lost to Petzschner, and the 12-15th seeds are out.  Quite a bit of carnage in only the second round.  What is this, the WTA?

Singles - Second Round
[1] A Roddick (USA) d B Becker (GER) 63 62
J Isner (USA) d [3] J Tsonga (FRA) 46 76(2) 76(4)
[4] F Gonzalez (CHI) d [Q] A Falla (COL) 75 75
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d M Youzhny (RUS) 63 61
J Ferrero (ESP) d [7] T Robredo (ESP) 63 62
P Petzschner (GER) d [9] M Fish (USA) 16 64 61
[11] I Karlovic (CRO) d R Schuettler (GER) 64 75
M Gicquel (FRA) d [12] V Troicki (SRB) 30 ret. (right foot)
W Odesnik (USA) d [13] I Andreev (RUS) 26 75 64
[Q] S de Chaunac (FRA) d [14] D Tursunov (RUS) 36 76(3) 75
L Hewitt (AUS) d [15] D Sela (ISR) 63 26 62
[16] S Querrey (USA) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 63 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals
M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) d [3] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) 36 61 16-14 - saved 2 M.P.

Doubles - First Round
[5] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d T Berdych (CZE) / L Dlouhy (CZE) 75 63
T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) d S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 64 67(1) 10-4

How Else Are They Going To Learn?

Masha and A-Rod are confirmed to participate in Arthur Ashe Kids Day at the US Open.  I think this is great.  Kids need to learn very important "Don't Shit Where You Eat" life lesson. You know, literally and metaphorically.

Please Revoke His Passport

Nice DC write up by Cronin, with some interesting stats about Andy and Blah:

On the other hand, Blake has scored just one live win on clay, over Austria's Stefan Koubek, and only one other singles win away from home in the past eight years. While he's had some spectacular moments playing at home, including during the United States' 2007 title run, Blake has been less than dependable away from the comforts of red, white and blue arenas.

"I think it's a great opportunity for James to slide into the No. 1 singles role," McEnroe said before the tie began. "He's always been the No. 2 guy on this team, with Andy playing the role of No. 1 quite well. But James has a lot of experience, and I think it's a nice change for him to be put in that position."

While that might have been the case at home, Blake did not embrace the change abroad.

...

Perhaps next year, if McEnroe is forced to select a team to play away on clay, he'll try his luck again with Querrey, or young lefthander Wayne Odesnik, who professes a love of dirt and has had some decent results on the surface. Whatever the case, without Roddick in the fold for every tough away tie, the U.S. is going to be a serious underdog.

After the match, Blake admitted that there was a comfort level in playing No. 2 behind Roddick, the de facto team leader with a Davis Cup singles record of 31-11.

"I got a ton of respect for Andy. I really can't see myself having any more respect for him than today," said Blake. "Being in the No. 1 spot, it shows me how hard his job has been for this many years and how outstanding he's really been as a teammate and a leader of this team because he's counted on as the No. 1 to put up two points, and he does it time after time. Davis Cup is always pressure-packed, but being in the No. 2 spot is less pressure-packed than being in that one spot."

So is it fair to assume that there will a bunch of articles written about James calling him out for his pathetic inability to handle pressure situations and perform on big stages?

Nah.  Probably not.

Maybe Georgie Stoop Is Onto Something...

Boyfriend demanded I read it.  I read it.  I cried a bit:

Andy Roddick is not George Bailey. He's not ordinary. He's the No. 6 tennis player in the world. He's a multi-multi-millionaire tennis player married to a swimsuit model. He hops around the world and hosts Saturday Night Live and probably wouldn't even want to win the lottery because of the tax complications.

But here's the thing: He wanted to win Wimbledon. I mean, yes, of course he wanted to Wimbledon, but you could see from the first point on that he WANTED to win Wimbledon, that it was hugely important to him, that it was everything to him. You could surmise from his look and intensity that this was, in fact, what he had been dreaming about since he was a little boy. This was his moment, and few really thought he could win. As soon as the match began -- Roddick facing off against maybe the greatest tennis player ever on his favorite surface -- I felt like it was Roddick staring into the mirror and asking himself that same question that I think most people ask themselves at some point in their lives: "Am I good enough?"

And he was good. He was very, very good. Federer is a beautiful tennis player who hits so many brilliant and impossible-to-reproduce shots that the opponent, at some point, goes, "Oh, geez, what's the point?" I think this is why Rafael Nadal is one of the few players to have success against Federer; he doesn't care about those beautiful shots.

And I think Roddick psyched himself up to not let Federer's splendor blind him on this day. He won the first set by breaking Federer (in rather stunning fashion) and he had Federer on the ropes in the second set. It was, in fact, a shot late in the second set that brought me entirely over to Roddick's side. He was serving at set point, and he charged the net, and Federer was out of position and hit a high shot to Roddick's backhand. It was not an easy volley, certainly not for anyone less than world class. But it was a volley that Roddick could have put away. It was a volley, I imagine, Roddick will see in his mind again.

He missed that volley, of course, Federer won the second and third sets, Roddick showed guts and won the fourth, and then it came down to that massive fifth set with neither player able to break the other's serve. It wasn't especially glamorous tennis -- not like last year's match between Federer and Nadal -- but it was ultra-compelling not (as I expected) because of Federer's chase for his 15th Grand Slam but because of Roddick's desperate chase to beat Federer on Centre Court and be the best in the world on this day.

And the chase became more and more desperate as the games went along. Even though I knew all the while that Roddick would lose at the end, I kept hurting with him, especially in the final games when it was clear that while he might hold off Federer (and he did hold serve TEN STRAIGHT TIMES with the match on the line), he would never actually beat this beast. Federer's last few games were ace after ace after ace; he was in complete control. At some point, the realization had to hit Roddick (like it hit everyone who was watching) that he was only postponing the inevitable. He was not going to win Wimbledon.

That point was the 30th game of the final set. Federer did not hit a single great shot in that game. He simply put the ball in play. And Roddick, who had been so great for so long, made errors and lost the match.

When it ended, Roddick looked like a broken man. And I could feel that pain with him -- couldn't we all? He was damned good. He was probably better than he had ever been in his life. And he wasn't quite good enough. Isn't that the saddest thing about sports? Isn't that the feeling that we all have at that point when we realize that we won't play big league ball, we won't be an NFL starting quarterback, we won't be on the 18th green putting to win the Masters? I remember playing someone on a high school tennis court, losing convincingly and then doing the math: If I wasn't good enough to beat this guy (and I wasn't good enough), and he wasn't even the best player on the team (not even the second best) and our team wasn't that good just in our community (our team wasn't good at all) and Charlotte, N.C., wasn't exactly a tennis mecca and some of the best tennis players nationally weren't even PLAYING high school tennis, they were already out on junior tours or even professionals ... well, wow, I wasn't good enough.

Roddick stared out at the court, and he seemed to be on that aqueduct between crying and bravado, and then he said a few words -- congratulated Federer, thanked the fans, all that. Then Federer, trying to be a gentleman like always, tried to compare Roddick's feelings of loss to his own one year earlier when he had lost to Nadal. Roddick was not having any of it: "Yeah," he said, "but you had already won five times." Federer smiled and repeated the line without a terrible amount of sympathy. There was no way Federer could understand.

But I felt like I did understand. I really like Andy Roddick now. On Sunday at Wimbledon, he offered that rare fan feeling: He made me feel like we had been through something together.

The British Press Get On Their Knees, Give A-Rod A Consolation BJ

Well, at least some of them. 

Roddick went back to his chair, dropped his racket at his feet and stared at the ground, to be roused by shouts of "Roddick, Roddick". Not even in New York, at home, where he won his ground-breaking first grand-slam title in 2003, had the crowd reacted to him so. He rose and applauded them back. One hoped that at home, the Americans were raising their chilled beers to him. He had been heroic, he had been human, he had given all he had.

They realize it was Andy RODDICK, right?  Ok, just checking.

Eight Hours Is Up. And Now For The Airing Of The Grievances.

Unless you're wearing that ironically, you're a fucktard. 

Fuck you and your non-ironic statement t-shirt.


Sure, just sink into that hug, fucker.  Fuck you and your neediness.


Hey!  What does that 15 stand for?  15 ways you've been a douchebucket over the years? 
Can I start the list?  Fuck you and your color coordinated jacket.


Fuck you for not issuing a code violation for general douchetasticness.

Fuck you and your condescension.  I would think you've had a few recent, first hand examples of winning with class.  But I guess you were too self-absorbed in your sorrow and tears to take notes. 

Fuck you for not whacking him with that plate.


Fuck you and your impossible ability to outserve Andy on his best serving day, like, ever.


Yeah, you're a Fed fan.  OBVIOUSLY.  Fuck you.


Fuck you for giving me hope.


Fuck you and your lip-quivering wifeyness.


Mmmm....I do want to fuck you.


Fuck you for being awesome but marrying that fucker. 


Fuck you for making me cry.


Sigh.  FUCK.  YOU.

Phew!  I feel so much better.

Oh, and before all you FedTards start trying to sign up for accounts to flame me, please look up the word "irreverent".  It'll do you good.  Oh, and also, fuck you.

Can I Get A "1 (But It Doesn't Count Because It Wasn't Wimbledon), But Keep On Trying, Andy" Splash Page?

No?  Ok.  Just thought I'd ask.

Tricky Dick

I think it's funny that when he was #2 he had no problem waving the "#1" finger around, but now that he's back to #1 it's all about the deuce.  Ah well, do what you do, GOATBucket.

And today he did what he does, coming back to beat a TOTALLY FUCKING DESERVING A-Rod in five sets, 57 76 76 36 16-14.  That's quite the scoreline and all the pictures of a completely gutted Andy, who once again has to hold the consolation prize in another Slam final tussle with Roger, says it all.

I've never hidden my dislike for Andy, which has primarily been driven by his Ugly American jackassery, which rears its ugly head more often than anyone would like to admit.

But for all of that ugly crap, there are matches like today's, where Andy puts it all on the line, works his ass off, leaves it all on the court, and then, when he falls short and suffers ungodly heartbreak, stands there and takes it like man.  I was really proud of him today and I mean that with no condescension intended.  Good on ya, Andy.

 

So congrats to all my FedKids (Vetmama, greenhopper, Jackie, gauloises, C1, Pspace, Carrie, 'Pop, Maz).  Y'all have had to endure a lot of shit over the past year (90% of it coming from me, obviously) and your boy has finally come through.  Must feel pretty damn good.  As your reward I will bite my tongue for the next 8 hours to give you time to celebrate before I tear Fed a new one. 

Enjoy the silence.

Air Quotes: All for Naught.

Q. How would you describe what you did today?

ANDY RODDICK: I lost.

15.

Good thing that monogram was there.  Otherwise I'd never know who this was.

Just kidding.  The wrist hair gave it away.

Still watching the match.  Don't have much to say just yet.  But knowing the outcome I'm already gutted for Andy.  He blinked five times.  But I guess when you're playing the GOAT that's all he needs.

Anyway.  Figured people might need to vent.  Feel free in the comments (as though you needed any encouragement). 

All I'll say is that I'm really looking forward to seeing the "15" on Fed's Nike jacket.  Maybe then my sadness for Andy will transform into pure unadulterated spite for the GOATbag.

Pic This: America, Fuck Yeah!

If I walked into a dark alley and saw these two waiting for me, I might have to shitting the pants.

Pardon if there's no blogging for a while.  I need to run out and find me that cardy.

Obligatory "Fuckthatguyhemakesitalllookssoeasy" picture.

Miles!!!  Nomnomnom...

Not this year.

Getting ready for Sunday, I see.


They make take my life, but they're never take away my Judy!

Alba gu bra!  Alba gu bra!

When did B-Decks turn into Bridgette Wilson?  Weird.

America.  Destroying the dreams of people of all race, creeds, religions, and fandoms.

Happy Independence Weekend, everyone! 

Remember, 10 fingers is equal to greater than or equal to 9 fingers.  Be responsible.

You Made Kim Sears Cry. I Hope You're Proud Of Yourself.

Behind those aviators lie the eyes of a sad puppy. 

Well congratulations are in order, I suppose.  Congrats to A-Rod for being the nail on the on Wimbledon coffin for me.  Everyone tells me I'm supposed to think SW19 is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but...no.

But seriously, A-Rod deserves much props.  I totally thought he would be Muzz but I didn't want to believe it.  But the guy's serve is clicking, he's in great shape, and he's playing with clear purpose and focus.  He won't beat Fed but I'm not sure anyone would on Sunday.  So sure, why not, let's send the American Bully into Center Court to get slaughtered.  Why not?

 

As for Muzz, he'll be fine.  He played well (apparently, seeing as how NBC WON'T SHOW ME HIS MATCH FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS!!!), but A-Rod was just serving too well today.  It happens, and it definitely happens at Wimbledon.

Q. Overall, how would you assess this tournament?

ANDY MURRAY: I think it's been very good. I did better than I ever had before. I had some very good matches. And, you know, I thought I played good tennis.

I thought I dealt with everything that was sort of put in front of me well. You know, I'll come back next year and try and do better.

But it was a good tournament. Wasn't bad at all.

Q. On that point, you went a round further than last year; you're 22 years old. You'll leave here more convinced that you can win Wimbledon now?

ANDY MURRAY: Yeah, I think I have a chance. And I think the way that I played this year, you know, it was very, very close to getting to the final. If I give myself those sort of opportunities and keep playing well, and my consistency in the Grand Slams the last year or so has been much, much better, you know, a final, a semi and a quarter, I'm going to give myself opportunities to do it.

I believe I can win a Grand Slam, whether it's Wimbledon or US Open or Australia or whatever, I'm going to give myself chances.

Q. What is the overriding memory or lesson that you take from this slam to put into future matches?

ANDY MURRAY: I'm not sure. I mean, I need a bit more time to think about that. But, like I said, it's been a very good, productive tournament for me. I think, like I said, I played well. You know, unfortunately the last few slams that I've lost I've come up against some guys that have played great, great tennis.

You know, mentally for me, I've got much better at it, understanding that guys can do that against you. That's happened to me a few times now in slams. I need to keep making sure I bring my best game to the court in every match.

See you in 5 weeks, Muzz.  Spend some time some time with your ugly girlfriend. 

As for A-Rod, have fun getting fucked in the ass by Roger on Sunday.  Hope his dick doesn't break off.

I'm Rooting For The Underdog

So a debate has been raging on for quite some time now (2 days) between Victoria and me regarding who's the hotter WAG: B.Decks (Victoria) or K.Sears (Moi).  We are now at an impasse.  So we open up the debate on this rather slowish tennis news day.

More pics after the jump (seriously, this was a really embarrassing post to put together at work).

Heeeeeey [/fonz]

A-Rod survives a heroic charge by Lleyton and finds himself in the semis.  Whoa.

I honestly don't have much to say about this match because I haven't seen it, nor was I able to scoreboard watch or read anything about it.  But given the scoreline it sounds like it was pretty darn epic.

Tough loss for the Lawnmower Man.  I don't like the dude, but it would have been kinda nice to see him make a run here.  But for serious, as much as I'm not a fan, kudos to Andy.  He put in the hard yards, dropped weight, dropped coaches, and look at him now.  All credit to him for doing what he had to do to put him in a position to do well this year. 

Shit.  I'm going soft. 

Pic This: "You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, And Gosh Darn It, People Like You."

Aw, how sweet. 

But I've read Revelations.  God may love you if you lose, Andy, but the apocalypse will come.  No pressure!

Boom Boom in da hizz.  Kind of a surreal shot there.


Boo.  You lost.  How dare you.


Yeah, I made the same face when I found out too.  Everyone loves Gonzo.


This just looked like a picture I should post.  But I honestly have nothing witty to say about it.

Convo during the Muzz/Viktor match:

Cousin: Diadora makes tennis clothes?
Me: Apparently.
Cousin: Does Kappa make tennis clothes?
Me: How awesome would it be if someone was sponsored by Umbro?

Ok, it was a much funnier conversation than it seems.  Take my word for it.  That Umbro line is GOLD.

Oh, Flavs.  We still love you.

Dinara: "So...should we cancel the surprise party?"
Nads: "NAAAAAHHHH."

Oh, Tomas.  Don't ever change.

No Taxation Without Representation!

Greatest Hit Face Ever.

Nice day for the American men and women with two expected wins and two surprises. 

A-Rod and Venus are looking solid, Venus in particular.  But Andy's been serving and moving well.  Who knows, he actually might have a shot here. 

Yeah, probably not.  But it's going to be fun watching him try.  It's like watching a blind puppy repeatedly crashing into a glass door.  You know it's sad and you shouldn't laugh, but come on, IT'S COMEDY GOLD.

As for the surprises, who had Melanie Oudin and Jesse "Marat Slayer" Levine going into the third round?  Nice runs, you two.

And these two won their dubs match.  In case you missed it on ESPN when they decided to ignore all the other interesting single matches.  Nice.

 

Without Photo Evidence, I Refuse To Believe It

But in other dude news, A-Rod came out of the gate with a somewhat impressive performance over newly-shorn Jeremy Chardy, who all of sudden looks Robredoesque.  Rod made only 9 unforced errors.  On grass.  That's, and I hate to phrase it this way, Rafa-like.

Then again, he still needed four sets to seal the win.  Which seems to indicate that maybe he was playing a little too safely on his return games.  I'm not asking you to go all Blah on us, Andy, but you really do have to pick it up and play more aggressively on the green stuff.

Elfy also pwned on his first match on grass since last year's Wimbly and in a somewhat shocking development, Gilly and his one good knee won in straight sets.

According to the Wimbledon website, Ernie won.  I checked my calendar and its not April Fool's, Christmas, or my birthday.  So...nice try, Wimbledon.  I will not fall for your poorly edited scoreboard.  And also, that is a mean mean joke.

Pic This: Wimbly Warmup

 
I've been a bit lazy with Wimbly practice pics.  I shall try and make amends now.


There's been a bit of ankle grabbing going on during the practice sessions.  Both Serena and Blah were having some trouble with their footing and weren't looking particularly comfortable.


So what do you guys think?  Are you taking Williams sisters or the field? 


Fed's been looking relaxed, no surprise as to why.  Lots of laughs with the boys.


Nole on the other hand seems to have been Mr. Serious on the practice courts. 


Is Nole planning to rock a sweater vest?


Obligatory "A-Rod Looks So Fucking American" pic.


Lots of folks picking Shazzy to at least make the semis. 


Just cuz.

 
gomuzz [/whisper]

Uh, I'm Not Sure "Marat's The Bomb!!!" Constitutes A Bomb Threat.

Andy and Lleyton's second round match was delayed due to the discovery of a bomb threat written on the bathroom wall.  I guess I can't give the tourney officials shit seeing as how we were all lamenting how lax security is these days. 

But once play got underway it sounded like a fantastic match that A-Rod eventually eked out, 76 76.  It's gonna be tough beating Andy in a tiebreak on grass if that serve is clicking, which it has been.

But otherwise it was a day of no surprises.  Muzz keeps winning (though it looks like his weiner's bleeding), Americans and Ivo mindlessly bash their way to wins, and Gilles lost.  It's sad that that's not even close to being a shock to me anymore.

Singles - Third Round
[1] A Murray (GBR) d [16] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 64 64
[2] A Roddick (USA) d [15] L Hewitt (AUS) 76(2) 76(4)
[14] M Youzhny (RUS) d [3] G Simon (FRA) 61 26 62
[6] J Blake (USA) d S Querrey (USA) 64 46 63
[8] M Fish (USA) d [10] F Lopez (ESP) 61 64
[9] I Karlovic (CRO) d [Q] N Mahut (FRA) 63 64
J Ferrero (ESP) d [Q] X Malisse (BEL) 64 76(4)

Four Dudes On The Grassy Knoll

No upsets in Queens today, unless you're an idiot and think Ernie losing in the first round is an upset.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  *I'm* upset.  "It's* not.  That said, I'm sure someone will pick him as a sleeper for Wimbly.  And now that I've called person an idiot I'm sure Ernie will pull a LaMonf and march to the quarters just to spite me.  Which I would totally be ok with.

Looks like somebody got a brand spanking new set of ankle braces for Wimbledon.  How cute.

The American boys put a bold-face, underline, small caps, on their "WE HATE CLAY! WE LOVE GRASS.  IT AWARDS AGGRESSION" deal.  Blah, Sockless, Rod, and Sam all won.

Singles - Second Round
[2] A Roddick (USA) d K Vliegen (BEL) 61 64
[6] J Blake (USA) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 62 76(4)
[8] M Fish (USA) d M Llodra (FRA) 57 76(5) 63
[4] G Monfils (FRA) d A Golubev (KAZ) 63 36 76(5)
[10] F Lopez (ESP) d D Istomin (UZB) 76(3) 46 76(5)
S Querrey (USA) d [Q] K Anderson (RSA) 75 63

Singles - First Round
[9] I Karlovic (CRO) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 63 76(11)
A Martin (ESP) d [13] E Gulbis (LAT) 76(9) 64
J Ferrero (ESP) d [WC] S Grosjean (FRA) 62 21 ret. (right shoulder)
S Darcis (BEL) d P Capdeville (CHI) 36 63 64
J Benneteau (FRA) d D Koellerer (AUT) 63 64

Pic This: "Who The Hottest In The World Right Now, Just Touched Down In London Town."

Hmmm...ya think Blah's happy to get off clay?

God, the shirt.  THE SHIRT.

A-Rod's ready to rock and roll, too.  Incidentally, I never really notice now much weight Andy's lost until I see pics.  Dude is mildly manorexic.

Rolling On Dubs

 
I do love the beginning of the "specialty surface seasons" because everyone plays doubles in order to get more familiarity with the surface.  And of course, that leads to fun doubles teams that leave you scratching your head but totally intrigued.

Muzz/Lleyton and A-Rod/R-Ram were engaged in a long battle today in Queens.  Muzz/Lleyton eventually prevailed, 36 63 12-10, saving a match point on the way.

From Muzz's Twitter:

From A-Rod's Twitter:

Nice to see the boys having some fun.

This is all a long way of saying this...

BABY E AND SABINE ARE PLAYING DUBS IN EASTBOURNE!!!

Callin' Out.

All credit to ESPN for calling itself out.  From their 5 things we learned today feature:

1. Dinara Safina is playing like the favorite: Through two rounds she has lost a total of exactly … uh, two games -- in less than two hours. The No. 1-ranked Russian rolled qualifier Vitalia Diatchenko 6-1, 6-1. Since she ascended to the top spot, Safina has won 16 of her 17 matches on clay. She got to the final here a year ago and made the Australian Open final earlier this year. This, clearly, represents her best chance to join brother Marat as a Grand Slam champion.

Safina's coach, Zeljko Krajan -- naturally -- was again disappointed in her play.

"If one day he's going to be happy, I think I'll finish my career," she said. "He's never happy. Even today, he's not happy."

2. And Ana Ivanovic is starting to play like the defending champion: There have been some dicey moments this year -- like losing in the third round of the Australian Open and her second matches in Miami and Rome -- but her form seems to be returning.

Ivanovic torched Tamarine Tanasugarn 6-1, 6-2 and she said she thinks she can repeat at Roland Garros.

"I do," she said, "and I worked very hard for it and know I have a game."

3. ESPN.com's "experts" asleep at the wheel: The four women tabbed by six ESPN.com writers as sleepers -- Amelie Mauresmo (2), Patty Schnyder (2), Sabine Lisicki and Kaia Kanepi -- all lost in the first round. Sleepers, did we say sleepers? We meant to place them in the early-exit category.

"If Gulbis loses, I'm completely inept with my pre-tournament picks," said tennis writer Bonnie Ford, eyeing the scoreboard with disgust early in the day.

Ten minutes later, Ernests Gulbis -- Ford's male sleeper -- fell to Nicolas Almagro in four sets. What's the French word for inept?

"Incapable," said Ford, who speaks fluent French, explaining that the word is the same in both English and French.

4. Andy Roddick is the last American man standing: As a corollary to No. 3 -- and a public service, no doubt -- we are compelled to further mention that no fewer than four ESPN.com experts (who shall remain nameless) chose Roddick as their candidate for an early exit. With the loss by California native Robert Kendrick to Gilles Simon in the second round, 5-7, 0-6, 1-6, Roddick is the LAMS.

Did we mention that Simon and fellow Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who now appear to be in terrific form, were the other two early-exit choices?

Tapping Momo as a sleeper and Gilly and Jo as early exits weren't bad calls.  But Sabine?  Everyone knew she was pretty injured coming into RG.  Kaia Kanepi?  Uh...yeah...I don't know what that was about. 

But really, say it with me...ERNIE???

I guess I don't really understand how Bonnie Ford can be SO SHOCKED that Ernie lost.  My only guess is that while the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night to watch Ernie lose ever so beautifully (though let's face it, he hasn't been losing beautifully lately) Bonnie's doing the smart and rational thing and sleeping. 

Pfft.  Weak humans.