I love Andy's "WOT?"
We all were, A-Rod.
The decision to go handle was money, Ana.
The Rally For Relief was a huge success both on and off the court, much the surprise of no-one. On their way to ensuring that Ana will require testing for STDs, the exhibition raised $1.8 million dollars thanks to some very generous and very necessary corporate matching programs. That number will continue to rise over the fortnight, as players will be auctioning off gear, collections will be taken all over the grounds, and more events are surely planned.
People look at my quizzically whenever I tell them I'm a tennis fan. Apparently it seems like a really weird sport to follow with such passion and fervor. Whenever they ask me why I love it, I never say "Oh, I love the game, it's beautiful to watch" or "Rafa Nadal's forehand" or "I just really like the one-on-one competition." That's not to say those statements aren't true, it's just that they aren't the reasons that pop up immediately in my mind.
Nope, I love tennis because of the personalities. I have genuine love and respect for these people as human beings (yes, even Roger). Is that really creepy to say? They're just good people. Is there any other sport that can take the top players in the game, throw them onto a court with mics and a can of tennis balls, and have them, rather spontaneously, put on the tennis equivalent of a Harlem Globetotters show? Sure, basketball exos can be fun, but aren't those more about "Oh, shit, look at what sick skill Kobe has!" as opposed, "Look at Andy Roddick being stupid just because he knows it'll make us laugh."
All the things that I personally love about this sport were on full display on Laver today. It was an absolute pleasure.
The players were in full exhibition mode (well, most of them) and so long as you have Nole and A-Rod around, you know you're in for a good time.
The event started with a team competition with Rafter, Moose, A-Rod, Vika, and Bepa on one team, and Lleyton, Justine, Caro, Ana, and Nole on the other. Caro was a bit of a dud, as evidenced by the fact that Lleyton's kid cried the second she picked him up. Also her dress looked crap. Don't believe me? Ask Judy.
While Nole and A-Rod were the exo stalwarts, pulling out all their usual tricks (A-Rod mocking line judges, Nole doing everything except playing tennis) I think the emerging exo stars of the show were Moose and Ana.
Ana stole the show for the ladies, chatting and giggling into her mic and seemed totally game for all the flirting and innuendo jokes. Her "Novak, get behind me. Well, you know what I mean..." got the biggest guffaw from me. She's come a long way from being the dead silent one at exos (see her appearances at USO Kids Day if you don't know what I'm talking about).
But the point of the match basically involved Moose and Ana hitting to each and making sexy grunts for what felt like a good 5 minutes, and seriously, if you closed your eyes the only conclusion you could come to is that Ana should, in a few weeks, pee on a stick. Because girl, you pregnant with a vampire baby. Everyone needed a moist towelette after that one.
JUST GET NAKED AND DO IT!
Is that a true and genuine smile from my boyfriend?
It must be love.
Next up was Fed and Sam vs. Rafa and Kim. This one was a bit of a letdown after the laughs a minute riot of the first match. There were no antics, just some light, competitive hitting. The players weren't even mic'd up and no one really knows why. But the match was worth it for this and this alone:
If you could please allow me to clear my throat before I add any commentary...*cough*...
You a do your part and donate here.
(Pics: Getty, Reuters)
Holy hell. Haven't seen you in a while. Still cute, if not slightly chunkier than when I saw you last.
With the sun out, all the boys were hitting the practice courts. Why were they wearing shirts? I DO NOT KNOW. Even Mikey was wearing a shirt. MIKEY. But it was happening and there was nothing I could do about it.
Andy took to the courts for his second hit of the day. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he played a match over at Kooyong later. Either that or he just REALLY loves his argyle kit.
From there it was over to see Rendy hitting with...
Even his thighs are emo.
But the highlight of my afternoon sausage tour was finally getting to see Grigor in person. Watch him for five minutes and you can just see the talent oozing out of him. He's also way taller than I thought he was. That is one big, tall, strong boy.
It was a pleasure, boys.
(Pics: Forty Deuce)
Mum and Son hit the courts in Melbourne with some kids to teach them the finer points of jaw-stretching, how to be the best tweeter ever, and how to balance a ball on your head while your mom is trying to be serious.
Dude. That kid has some form, no? Andy looks worried.
Aw...look at my boyfriend pretending to be happy. A for effort, Moose.
"A lot of people are saying, 'Well, it's not all in the one calendar year.' But I don't really think that makes any difference. If you hold all four slams at one time, it's an incredible achievement. Even three in a row is amazing. That's what all of us are competing against. He's one of the best players ever, if not the best, and he deserves to be No. 1, and if he does win the Australian Open—which I hope he doesn't—then it would be incredible. It is already an incredible achievement for what he's done at his age , but it would be amazing."
-- Moose talking Bull.
I think the match could be summed up in one single point. Mahut, who seriously, should be brought in for every single exhibition ever (he's so entertaining and fantastic), went down awkwardly trying to dig out Robbie forehand and injured his ankle. Play was stopped so he could get it looked at and taped. Robbie looked super concerned and as Andy headed back to the baseline, she hung out around Nico and asked to make sure he was ok and they exchanged some words and smiles. So after that long break in play in the middle of her serve, Laura goes back to serve to the Mlad, she kind of spins the first serve in, and the Impaler steps up and thwacks it for a winner. I burst out laughing.
As the match wore on it became clear that the ladies were hell-bent on pummeling each other. Everyone on Twitter was talking about it.
The Impaler was the clear star of the show. She was nails. But I thought it was hilarious that Andy and Robbie both gave her a cold fish netshake but were totally huggy, chatty, and kissy with Nico.
I don't think she'll be dining with Team GB anytime soon. Or if she does, she should probably bring a food-taster.
Andy mentioned that he would be practicing with Nole today at 1pm, so with a bit of sleuthing (thanks, Alex!) I found out that they weren't practicing at the Burswood Dome but at the State Tennis Centre, 3/4 of a mile up the road. So I did the walk under the midday sun (which oddly felt like a walk of shame but in reverse) to see my two boys futz about on a tennis court.
After almost getting run over by Robbie's driver (not really, I exaggerate), I walked up to see my boys already sweaty and chatting about life, love, and other mysteries (read: soccer). They had a light hit (Isner was practicing with Mahut one court over) and then called it a day.
But not before kindly stopping to take some pictures with fans. Really cool of both of them. The only thing that stopped me from hopping in there was the fact that I unintentionally wore a t-shirt with hearts and arrows on it.
Well, that and my self-respect. Equally. I think.
(Pics: Forty Deuce)
Let me just say that the Burswood Dome was crazy hot today. I used to always wonder why people were fanning themselves like mad when I watched this tournament on TV. I wonder no more. The only thing I can compare it to is a super humid and hot night match at the US Open. You know that heat and humidity that is just plain inescapable, compounded by absolutely zero air circulation? Yeah, it's like that. You're breathing but you don't feel like you're taking in any air.
So if you're 16 years old and feeling under the weather (who didn't notice Laura hacking and snot-wiping throughout the match) and you're playing a crafty Slam-winning veteran, it's a pretty tough ask. As would be the theme for the day, Laura definitely had a chance. Fran gifted her a break in the first and Robbie had a chance to serve it out. She couldn't close it out, though, and Fran played some pretty ridiculous Fran-like tennis when it counted.
Bad luck to Robbie for getting ill, but I enjoyed what I saw. The forehand was cracking and she looked quicker than when I saw her last in New York. So woot.
As for Andy, he was feeling the conditions as well, sucking air for most of his match with Potito. He eventually took it in straights but it wasn't the most dominating performance. Not that it's entirely his fault. I thought Mr. Potito Head played really well in that first set.
And so on to doubles. Team Tan/NotTan had no business winning that first set but they somehow hung in there to force a tiebreak, which they completely dominated behind some clutch hitting from Robbie and some aggressive volleying from Andy. On to the second, and the Brits found themselves up a break. But, as was the trend for the day, they couldn't consolidate and let the Italians back in it. From there Italy was able to win the second in a tiebreak and then dominate in the match tie-break.
Unless something really flukey happens to Team Pasta, Moose is going to have to play Hopman Cup again next year to get Laura those diamonds. I just don't see Italy losing to the USA or France.
BUT, that's the glory of Hopman Cup. We'll still get to see these two crankypants team up two more times. Works for me.
This is why these two need to always play doubles together. Robbie can make Andy crack a smile. That's, like, a miracle. In fact, they should make a movie about it and call it Miracle.
I am a genius.
I still have to do a double take when I see Ana ahead of Masha. It seemed as Masha was actually part of the conversation at every Slam, while Ana had an eight month pity party. Solid years from Nails and Shahar (though really, how did that happen?) and nice to see Lil' Mash and Pavs finish the year with the highest year-end rankings of their careers. Hell, that can be said of a lot of the ladies: Caro, Bepa, Sam, Fran, Nails and Shahar, to name a few.
As for the guys, it's still weird to see Mischa in the top 10 and I'm shocked that Marin's first six weeks basically carried him to a top 15 ranking. But what's really surprising is the Tournaments Played stat.
Muzz played the fewest number of tournaments in the top 25, only 19, which is two fewer than the three big boys ahead of him. Sod played 24 tourneys and Tomas played 26(!), and I don't think this includes Davis Cup ties.
Marcos played 29 tournaments? That just makes his participation in New Haven either Herculean or Dumb and Dumber, depending on your take. Speaking of Dumb and Dumber, Sam Q really needs to take a look at his schedule next year. 27 tournaments? No wonder the guy was gassed through the second half of the year.
I'm still blown away that Andy only played 19 tournaments. That explains my state of constant longing.
Posted by C Note on November 29, 2010 in Ana Ivanovic, Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, Andy Murray, ATP, Caroline Wozniacki, Francesca Schiavone, Marcos Baghdatis, Maria Kirilenko, Maria Sharapova, Marin Cilic, Na Li, Robin Soderling, Sam Querrey, Sam Stosur, Shahar Peer, Vera Zvonereva, WTA | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
Some choice quotes from the WTFs to round out the ATP year:
Q. To jump to the No. 1 position in the world, will you have to attack more?
ANDY MURRAY: I think against certain guys. When I played Roger and Rafa the last few times I played them, I played very aggressive tennis. That's what you need to do against them. Against some guys you need to defend more.
You know, if you play against a guy that serves 140 miles an hour on the first serve, you can't attack. So you need to balance it depending on the opponent, depending on the match, the stage of the match.
I think I've improved that side of my game. I've worked on serve-volleying, you know, in some matches the last few weeks. I think I've attacked a lot better towards the end of this year than I was at the beginning.
Q. So if you weren't obligated to be on the other side of the net, fair to say [Rafa's] your kind of an athlete, your kind of guy?
ANDY RODDICK: Well, as far as what? Do I think he's cute?
Q. I'm just asking you if you feel confident, because even if you're not in great shape, you were still capable to fight for three sets versus Nadal, who won three matches in a row, and you won all the others in two sets.
ANDY RODDICK: I appreciate your optimism. You can have a future in coaching with that synopsis.
Q. He's tried it.
ANDY RODDICK: I would ask how it went, but you're here (laughter).
Q. You're still an active player. Have you ever thought what you will be doing at the end of your career? Would you like more to be a tennis coach or a TV commentator and a journalist?
ANDY RODDICK: You only gave me two options. I don't want an either/or question (laughter).
I don't know. I don't think I would coach. I have a feeling I would last about six months commentating before I said something inappropriate - maybe less. So I'm not sure. Plus I'm not very opinionated, so might not go well for me (laughter).
Q. Is [Maradona] just here on holiday, just watching?
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: He's actually doing coaching, you didn't know that, for me (smiling)? We're working on some specifics, like how to play with hands, high balls (laughter).
Q. I'm intrigued with you saying you don't think you have much chance to beat Rafa. You beat him the last time on hard courts. Why don't you think you'll have a good chance this time?
ANDY MURRAY: Well, I mean, he's obviously the best player in the world. I've watched his matches here. He's been playing unbelievably well. You know, I don't seem to beat those guys in the big matches. So, you know, I'm going to have to play my best tennis against him to win. I need to do it in a big match, in the semis. I have to see whether I can do that or not.
Q. So you're not confident?
ANDY MURRAY: No, not really. But I'll try and win against him.
Source: ASAP Sports.
36 hours later and I'm still a bit numb about it all. It was the best best-of-three match of 2010 against two guys who brought their A-games. It was one of those matches where you just didn't want either player to lose, not because of rooting interests, but because you knew how gutted that player would be if they lost a match like this. It was wall-to-wall shot-making, "gets" that made you throw up your hands in disbelief, and clutch hitting and serving in the moments that mattered. It made you love tennis players, tennis fans, the game of tennis itself.
And once again, Andy's best wasn't good enough. Let's face it, that's the upshot.
He had every shot in his arsenal working. He served well (22 aces!). And his movement was impeccable. Aside from that idiotic back-to-back drop shot game early in the third that virtually gifted Rafa the break -- a break Andy would get back later -- he played a perfect match. 22 aces, 85% first serve points won, he was broken only once in the match, and he won 114 points to Rafa's 109. Hell, he was up 4-1 in the third set tiebreak.
But despite all that he just couldn't come through in either of the two tiebreaks. When the stakes were high and the pressure so oppressive as to render Twitter silent, Rafa was better at "being better". Andy didn't crumble in those breakers. He made Rafa play and he still lost. Put simply, Andy played his best and Rafa was still better.
I always wonder what's more disheartening for an athlete: playing like crap and losing, or playing well and losing. Personally, when I played sports, the former would piss me off more but the latter made me all emo and cause me to do some soul-searching. There's no shorter road to Bummertown than realizing that your best isn't good enough. It's kind of soul-crushing, actually.
But it sounds like Andy is taking well. At least as well as one could expect him to.
"It was a great match to finish the year. But I need to improve because I’m competing with the two best players of all time. So if I want to win these tournaments, I want to win the Grand Slams, I need to get better."
Here's hoping that this loss lights a white-hot flame under his ass as he heads to Florida for his off-season preparations. Keep on working, Moose.
Because first things first, you owe someone some diamonds.
Match highlights for those who missed it, after the jump.
Sod, Muzz, and Nole own this video. But really, it's all about Nole's smug charm and Muzz's dry wit.
"Death." *long pause* "Understandable."
I'm going to need those Coronas.
All of them.
Go Andy. Go Nole.
And no, I don't mean go home.
CENTRE COURT start 12:15 pm
 B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) vs  D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB)
Not Before 2:00 PM
 R Nadal (ESP) vs  A Murray (GBR)
Match Starts at 6:15 PM
 M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) vs  M Bhupathi (IND) / M Mirnyi (BLR)
Not Before 8:00 PM
 R Federer (SUI) vs  N Djokovic (SRB)
Ah, Thanksgiving. A day where TSA agents will "Pope" thousands of reluctant travelers, mothers and grandmothers will fist a headless bird with breadcrumbs and chestnuts (kinky!), and dysfunctional families will avoid awkward personal conversations by talking about Brett Favre's cock and eating their feelings in the form of a small feast that could feed a bustling African village.
God Bless America, I say.
It is also a time to stop and be thankful. At least that's what I was told in second grade when I was tracing my hand to make a turkey out of construction paper. Those were innocent times.
Things I Am Thankful For:
Now go eat your fucking turkeys, turkeys. The shrill voice of Liezel compels you.
New kit, old habits.
My man Moose has been described as many things: clever, miserable, pasty as a vampire. But perhaps above all those entirely accurate descriptions one thing has remained true throughout the 2009-10 seasons: He is consistently inconsistent. You never know which Andy will show up on any given day and that is the stress that Moose Heads must deal with on a weekly basis. One day he's making Rafa look a step slow and predictable, the next he looks like he has no business being in a Grand Slam final. One week he's making Fed look one step away from calling it a career, the next he looks like he doesn't even belong in the same league.
Andy can't be counted on. Even he knows this. He's said that his goal in 2011 is to become more consistent. Unfortunately it's still 2010.
Fed was sharp today, no doubt. Andy would have needed his A-game make this a competitive match. But for whatever reason, in front of his friends and family, on a court that suits his game perhaps more than anyone else, against an opponent he has had past and recent success against, he just plain didn't have it. He was flat, he played with no conviction, no passion, and he slinked away from this match lucky not to have been sent home with a bag full of pastries.
So it goes. It's no surprise or shock that he lost yesterday to Fed. Had this been a competitive three-setter no one would have flinched if Fed had come out on top. But Andy was flat out crap. For a guy who is one of the most competitive players on the tour the trend is utterly perplexing. Even more disconcerting is the fact that he has no idea why this keeps happening.
He'll have a must win match against Daveed on Thursday, who lost to Sod in straights today.
Damn you, Moose, for making me root for Fed.
You know he's way better than you at wearing a suit and looking otherwise dapper? Well this is me hoping that you're way better than him at hitting a tennis ball tomorrow.
Sweep the leg, Ginger.
CENTRE COURT start 12:15 PM
 L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) vs  J Melzer (AUT) / P Petzschner (GER)
Not Before 2:00 PM
 R Federer (SUI) vs  A Murray (GBR)
Not before 6:15 PM
 B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) vs  M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL)
Not before 8:00 PM
 R Soderling (SWE) vs  D Ferrer (ESP)
Even Andy will admit that you never know which Andy will show up on any given day. Today, the one that is very good at this little game called "tennis" showed up. Freshly argyled (Really? NOW you finally get a new kit?) Moose Boy looked in control and hit the court ready to run. He was serving well, running everything down, and made it clear early that if Sod wanted to win a point, he was going to have to either get to the net or win 15+ shot rallies.
Sod didn't have the legs for the rallies (he said after the match that he was fatigued) and Andy made him look a fool every time he came to the net. All in all, a clinical takedown by the Green Goblin.
Oh, come on. Those Murray women are hared to please.
This "dead week" in between Paris and the WTFs is such a waste. You know the players want to get this over with, the fans want to get this over with, everyone wants to get this over with except for the Paris tourney director, who surely knows that if the WTFs were held immediately after his tournament, everybody be losin' in the first round of Bercy.
But seriously, how dumb has this been? We don't need two days of suited photo-ops. I don't need to see pictures of Andy Murray trying to remember if he zipped his fly while in deep conversation with David Cameron. Eliminate the dead week! All the teasing is all fine and dandy at other parts of the season, but right now it's just making me impatient, annoyed, and really, I would just rather roll over and go to sleep.
All this is to say, thank the Lawd that play finally begins tomorrow. Group B, a.k.a. "Group Love/Hate", kicks off play at 7 a.m. EST.
The Moose will take on the man who supplanted him at #4. Swede vs. Scot. Paris vs. Shanghai. Hitter vs. Homeboy. Viking vs. Ginger. I could go on. But I'll stop.
For no other reason than the fact that Moose is more well-rested, and because I love him unconditionally, I'll tap Andy.
I also think he'll win.
Second up are Fed vs. Daveed.
No one wants to talk to you, SOD.
The boys donned their suits to pay a visit to Downing Street and British PM David Cameron. Obviously Daveed showed up in his tennis kit and had to borrow a suit from the "proper attire" closet.
Downing Street: It's like a fancy steakhouse.
"You assholes told me grey!"
I just cannot deal with that tie sitch. No one thought to tell him?
"Hey, did one of you step on Daveed?"
All in all, a bit meh.
Hopefully we'll get more pictures tomorrow at media day.
(Pics: Getty, Reuters)
How is it that Jamie still has "groom hair" but Andy's "best man hair" has been completely obliterated? The guy must be a Chia Pet or something.
Mucho congrats to the Moose Brothers for taking their first title together.
Not only was Andy nice enough to give Jamie some of his Adidas hand-me-ups, he really took the doubles seriously, even after being dumped out of Valencia in singles. That pic is from match point. That's, like, the most intense match point doubles celebration I have ever seen. Dude even teared up after they won:
"It wasn't a laugh, it was a big week for Jamie and obviously I wanted to do well for him. It's not just about singles and my tennis all the time. I love playing with Jamie and when I get the chance I have to take it. It's the first time I've won a tournament with him and it's the most emotional I've been after a match since the Australian Open. It was really important, and I was welling up big time. There are more important things than just simple tennis matches and doing something great with my brother meant a lot to me."
Meanwhile, Maggie couldn't even be bothered to tweet a congratulatory message and Mama Joods was like, "Whatevs":
Those Murray women are tough to please.
Oh, look. Doubles-playing-brothers celebrating a point by doing a non-douchey bump. Who'd have thought it was possible?
(Pics: Getty, AP)
You spend enough time with someone and you're bound to start dressingl like them, right?
Moose took out Feli in straight sets, then teamed up with big bro Jamie to take out Team Deliciasco in straights.
Can't wait for those tweets.
(Pics: Getty, Reuters)
So Andy tweeted this two days ago and a plethora of Twitter jokes ensued. Clearly the dude hurt his hand choking his chicken, right? I mean, it's his right hand, he's got a laptop nearby, and the sheets are all pulled off. I've walked in on this shit before. I know what's up.
But apparently some real journos did some investigating and it's being reported that he's got a strained tendon.
I mean, I'm sure he does have a strained tendon. IN HIS PANTS.
Has he not heard Andy drop some rhymes? Was he not charmed by DJ Pale Moose's monotone and unfeeling delivery? Was his mind just completely blown by the lyricism of MC Fuzz Muzz's debut jam that he's gone full retard?
Such a wasted opportunity. I mean, how is James Corden going to taunt him with two minutes of silence:
Random thought: Who's more dour: Andy or Thom?
I know I've already ranted about this on Twitter but I really do wish the seedings for the US and Serbia were swapped so that the US got Belgium in Group A and Serbia got Great Britain in Group B. That would have given us a guaranteed Serena vs. Justine match, which I would actually pay to watch, and Ana vs. Robbie, which would have been fun for no one but me. As it were, the seeding committee, through some "interesting" rationale, put Serbia first, then the US, GB, and Belgium.
And while I'm getting my complain on, I'm still bummed that Sam's playing Brisbane instead. And that it's not Shveddy and Evgeny. Or Gael and Aravane. Or Jo. Or even The Cone!
Oh, Cone. I miss you. Team France really could have done better here.
Overall, those are pretty balaned groups, I'd say. In terms of AO preparation, Andy's got a solid slate of matches lined up with Halpert and Gael, whereas Nole should cruise through his group play. The ladies draw sets up some interesting matches, with Ana vs. Justine, Serena vs. Fran, and Robbie's first bite of the big apple vs. Serena.
Mixed doubles is always the wildcard and more often than not, the decider. And really, can you bet against these two geniuses?
ANYWAY, is it January yet?
Sing it, Damon.
Let's start with this pasty weirdo, who played one of the best matches of his career to beat Fed rather 3 and 2 in under an hour and a half to pick up his second Masters shield of the year. Even if you don't like either of these guys, be sure to catch a replay of the match if you can. Some of the rallies were insane and Andy came through with some huge serving in the clutch. Fed definitely didn't play his best, but a lot of that was due to Andy's incredible defense. As Fed said after the match, Andy made the court seem smaller.
So, congrats, Pasty. You done good.
Also doing good? The Anti-Pasty.
She demolished Patty 1 and 2 in 47 minutes (shortest final of the year), ending the match with her 25th ace of the tournament to pick up her first title in TWO YEARS. She didn't drop a set all week and was broken only 5 times. Say what? Yeah, that's right. It was consistently big serving and hitting all week. Awesome stuff and it's fun to see all the support the kid is getting within the media. With the win Ana outright qualifies for Bali and will rise to #26 on Monday.
Don't worry, Serena. Your muffin basket is in the mail.
Wow. I didn't mean for that to sound dirty.
Anyway, WHOO HOO!
Oh, don't worry. He won. That's his happy face.
And that's his sexy face.
All this is to say, he is neither happy or sexy at the moment. But he's winning matches so what the hell do I care? That said, I was bummed to hear that Judy went and got a haircut yesterday. I was really hoping she'd hold out and drag Andy along for a 2 for 1 deal at Fantastic Sam's or something. Because, really, that hair is indefensible, Andy.
Anyway, it'll be Moose vs. GOAT in the final. Based on the quality of their play this week, I have to tip the Bleating One, who, with the win over Nole, is back to #2.
Oh, that's just the foyer of his house.
(Pics: Getty, AP)
This may be the greatest fan sign ever.
Though, this one gets commitment points for refusing to let the fact that this match was played on indoor courts that fans could not access stop her from cheering on her man.
And "allez" he did.
Obligatory cute Jo pic.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
GGL is cute?
Jelena's not in Shanghai. So...just sayin'.
Hands off, ladies.
That sexy piece is aaaaaaaaaall mine.
It's a boy!
Uh oh, Maggie. Papa's not happy.
Ok, I'm going to say this once and then I'm leaving it alone:
I would not object to seeing Sod naked.
There. I said it. I'm gonna go take a hot bleach shower now.
(Pics: Getty, AP)
"Wait, you're coming to Perth?"
"FUCK YEAH, I'M COMING TO PERTH! (or will at least try)"
Ok, so obviouly the Hopman Cup lineup was already awesome. Nole and Ana, Serena/Isner, um... Fran...Shveddy...other people. But my super happy fun times pairing was finally confirmed today. That's right, Robbo and Muzz will team up once again, with Andy trying not to fuck up again and lose Laura's diamonds.
Because they're hers, Andy. They're hers. You owe her and we all fucking know it.
I actually missed their awesomeness last year because I was on vacation in Vietnam and, well, I know this is shocking, but they weren't exactly airing Hopman Cup in Saigon. So I'm really hoping I get to experience this dreaminess (Nole, Andy, Ana, Robbie, oh my!) live or in person.
COME ON! [/GOB]
I guess being #1 and #2 don't mean what it used to.
The top 20 are all in Shanghai, which makes for some intriguing stuff. Rafa and Nole are coming off tournament wins in Tokyo and Beijing, Muzz is coming off...whatever you want to call that loss to Lubey in Beijing, and Fed returns for the first time since his loss to Novak.
Play started yesterday and Jo took out Feli and Fernando lost to Thiemo.
(Pic: Getty, AP)
This is Maggie. Based on her propensity to lay around all day and do not very much, I think she and Chase would get along famously. Which, as we all know, is a very important thing when you first start dating someone who has a dog.
Oh, and she tweets. Awesomely.
She's basically better at tweeting than her dad is at tennis. Not that that's difficult. But, I mean, SHE TWEETS FROM HER BLACKBERRY. How amazing is that??? I mean, Andy tried to tweet a sweet message before leaving for China and ended up implying that he was putting Maggie down. Good job, idiot.
All this is to say, tweeting ain't easy, and Maggie rocks it like a hurricane, to the point that she's getting legitimately famous. Can't wait for the day Andy and Maggie start tweeting each other, at which point my body will dissolve into the ether.
Did Andy get his fashion cues from Sam for the Beijing Player Party? Or maybe from Marat? The plaid, the frizzed out hair, the forced smiling. Did I miss this month's issue of InStyle? Though, I suppose plaid shirts, frizzed out hair, and forced smiling is pretty much my look, too. See? MFEO, Andy. MFEO.
They're all so happy and smiley! That's the comedic effect of Fer's hair, I guess.
Stop doing one armed pushups on that thing, Sam.
I don't know what's crazier: Sam's forecep or Caro's crazy eyes.
Lovely. The boy knows how to wear clothes.
Also, those are some really tall Asian chicks.
I was really looking forward to the Beijing player party. But I guess the days of unscripted awesomeness and costuming are behind us. Sadness.
In turn, I want Andy to know three things: I too prefer vodka to champagne and am rarely ever at a bar after 12:30am, I too have a dog that is way cuter than I am, and I WOULD TOTALLY GO TO BEIJING WITH YOU IF YOU ASKED.
Just thought I'd get that out there.