Forty Deuce

Sunshine Games.

I didn't see.  I wasn't there.  I have no idea really what happened.

But here's Craig Hickman's take, which pretty much echoes what my Twitter timeline was telling me.  And A-Woz was asked about it afterwards and she didn't exactly downplay the incident.

Sigh.  I find it very difficult to care about anything Caro does these days.  I don't mean that necessarily as a knock, I just don't...care.  We all know she's not sunshine and rainbows all the time regardless of how hard she and her team try and convince the world that she is.  One thing that has always been clear is that Caroline Wozniacki is a fierce competitor.  She really is.  Fierce competitors can get themselves into a steaming pile of shit in the heat of the moment.  They can raise their hands, they can shake racquets at umpires, they can berate line judges, and they can call MTOs and stall all they can in an attempt to "ice the kicker".

So Caroline's one of those people.  That doesn't mean she's a bad person.  It just means she's *that* person.

(Pic: Getty)

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME???"

That is Alison Riske.  She is an American.  She is ranked 185.  She made it through qualifying in Birmingham (somehow) and took out CanWoz in straights and A-Chak in three today.  All I'm saying is that she made a lot of people sad today.  Except maybe her parents. 

Unless her dad is a Chakky fan, which, why wouldn't he be?

Limpin' Lena

Lena survives to play another day, fighting through injury to advance with a 67(2) 63 64 win over CanWoz.  Lena called for the trainer in the first set and was clearly struggling with her legs. 

There was a lot of relief from Lena at the end of the match.  Hard to know whether she has enough in the tank to get through the rest of the tournament.

Oh, Jesus. We're In Miami, Aren't We.

Like death and taxes, you can always count on Aga to dress up as a hooker in Miami.

So I've never been to Miami.  All I know about it is what I see on TV or in movies.  Oh, and the Will Smith song that I will not quote for yet *another* year in reference to this tournament.  But from what I can gather from my extensive pop culture learnings, it seems pretty fucking cheesy. 

These Miami Player Party pictures do not help dispel this notion.

 

I mean, WHAT THE FUCK is Caro wearing?  She makes Aga look like Coco Chanel here.  There are simply no words.  You are the #2 female tennis player in the world and *that's* what you show up in?  If I didn't know any better I would have just thought she was some belly dancer that was wandering around and Aga drunkenly grabbed her for a picture.

Because you know Aga would.

 

And this?  THIS?  I'm sorry but if I am ever asked me again why I don't lust after this guy I will whip this picture out every time.  Normally he just looks like he reeks of Paco Rabanne.  Now he looks like he reeks of Axe Body Spray, BO, hair product, and GHB.  Just...ew.

If you threw this photo up against a wall it would stick.

(*whisper* Cuz it's tacky.)

 

Oh, was it too warm for your "scarf", Muzz?

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate ING!JJ?  Oh, I haven't?  BECAUSE I DO.

Let her fly her freak flag, ING.  It's pretty much the only reason we care.

"Are you trying to be down, down, down, down, down on women's tennis?"

Thank you, Venus for looking awesome.  I'm going to end this post/rant on a high note.

Pic This: Brisbane Roundup

(When C Note was leaving for vaca, she asked me, "Are you sure you want to do all that by yourself?  The Aussie swing is a lot of work."  And I said, "Of course!  It'll be fine!  And if I get busy, I can ask for some help."

 Yeah.  I lasted 3 days.  An awful lot of today's content is coming to you courtesy of some other well-known Forty Deucers, who will be properly credited at the bottom of their posts.  Thanks, guys.)
 

 Breaking! WTA player of Polish descent gets clothing contract!  Not so fast, Aga.
 

Hey, remember when she was Australia's Next Big Thing?  Yeah, me either.
 

HALT.  Hammerzeit.
 

Wait, since when is Pavs not in Adidas?   Still cute, even if she's wearing a colour my Dad always described as "hippopotamus shit green".  (Serious question: When do those braces come off?)
 

Get your sexy on.  Go a-head be gone with it. 
 
 
Andy seems to be assuming Lacoste has a very generous return policy.  Try to rinse it out first, Andy.
 

 
 Drink!
 

No Andy, your Davis Cup team doesn't need an extra doubles player.  Nice try, though.

(pictures and some captions via sodapop)

Who'd Nadia Piss Off?

First she has to play (and lose to) Masha approximately 700,000 times in the first 6 months of Masha's injury comeback, and now she has to play Justine (to whom she lost in an exhibition in Cairo a couple of weeks ago) in JuJu's first tournament back after her retirement extended sabbatical.

Kim, OTOH, drew Tathiana Garbin, so...

... let's get this party started!

Draw

Top Seeds: Kim, Nads, Ana, Dani

Potential Quarterfinals: Kim v. A-Woz, Dani v. Benesova, Ana v. Kleybs, Nads v. Czink

Potentially Interesting First Round Matches: Molik v. Makarova, Kleybs v. Pavs, Dokic v. Ivanovic, Henin v. Petrova

Interesting Questions: How will the comebacks of Molik and JuJu go?  What kind of shape are Jelena D. and Ana in?  Will Kleybs stick ice cubes up her cooch?

Vania King Is Awesome.

Dinara!  Put.  The Gun.  Down.

WTAers tell you about their love (in Vania's case) or not (Jesus, calm the fuck down, Liezel) of video games:

Ana Ivanovic: "I never did until I was introduced to Guitar Hero, and I love it."

Vania King: "YES. I love video games. I play mostly RPGs, MMORPGs and action/adventure games."

Aleksandra Wozniak: "When I was little, my sister Dorota and I would play Nintendo for hours. Now I just travel around the world with a PSP!"

Katarina Srebotnik: "No, not at all. When I was younger I used to love them and I have to say I was pretty good because I couldn't stand the words GAME OVER on the screen! I played the games over and over again until I would go all the way or at least reach a very high score."

Dominika Cibulkova: "I do - I play tennis video games! I'm not very good at them though, everyone is always beating me..."

Caroline Wozniacki: "I do, with my brother. Race car games, singing star... it's a lot of fun!"

Cara Black: "I don't play video games."

Liezel Huber: "NO!"

Vera Zvonareva: "Not really. I used to play Super Mario and Tetris on Gameboy. I would play Tetris for such a long time..."

Elena Dementieva: "I don't play video games. My brother is a big fan of them though. I could never understand his passion for them!"

Thoughts:

• We get it, Ana.  You LOVE Guitar Hero.  That answer is getting as canned as her pool story, through no fault of her own, really.

• I can totally see Bepa dominating on Tetris.  I can also see her banging her head into the controller when she realized she flipped the "S" piece one too many times.

• I love that A-Woz's sister shares the same name as this piece of awesome.

• Domi was so that girl who pretended to suck at video games so guys would think she was cute.  Or, you know.  She would just suck.  Dick.

• I would totally pull a Domi if I ever played video games with Caro's brother.

• Vania King rules.  Even I had to look up MMORPGs.

Catching Up

So... that work thing happened.  And now I am determined to at least get a results post out.  It's not gonna be much, but I submit it humbly for your consumption, dear reader.

Shanghai

More retirements??  You're kidding, right?  And my Quality Guy Ljubicic, too.  Sobs.  But he's an old guy, I guess I'll forgive him the hip injury.

Also, Feli won another match?  This is beginning to feel like some kind of alternate universe.  Also, I was very amused by Kolya's quote that Stepanek "destroyed" him in the second set.  I don't think 6-4 counts as destruction, sweetie.

Singles - Quarter-finals

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d I Ljubicic (CRO) 36 63 ret. (left hip)
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [8] G Simon (FRA) 63 26 62
[6] N Davydenko (RUS) d [13] R Stepanek (CZE) 61 46 61
F Lopez (ESP) d [9] R Soderling (SWE) 76(4) 63

Linz

Finally.  Actual matches!  If I hadn't been so preoccupied all day, I would have been glued to Radwanska/Safarova.  Wickmayer/Errani and Kvitova/CSN aren't too shabby, either.  I keep thinking how awesome it'll be if Round 1 of the YEC Race to the Bottom comes down to an Aga/Flavs final.  That would be faaaaaaaantabulous.

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 75 62
(2) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (7) Lucie Safarova (CZE) 63 76(9)
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (8) Sara Errani (ITA) 75 63
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. (4) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 75 64

Osaka

The Shanghai of the WTA.  Two retirements in four quarterfinals?  Woz/Woz is always a good time, and I'm glad that those matches are at least getting a little closer, but still.  More than one meaningful match this late in a tournament would be nice.

Singles - Quarterfinals
(1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (6) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 62 67(1) 62
Sania Mirza (IND) d. (2) Marion Bartoli (FRA) 64 20 ret. (right shoulder injury)
(3) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Jill Craybas (USA) 61 63
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. (7) Melinda Czink (HUN) w/o (right foot injury)

The Cure For The Flu? Uber Sweaty Fat Dudes In A Confined Space.

They're cute.

Pic This: Hangover Edition

A lovely lazy Saturday morning.  I actually wish I could say I was hungover.  Then I'd have an better excuse than normal to lie on the couch under a blanket and watch tennis all day.

Nice run by Dani into the Round of 16.  I hope she's happy.

Yes, you have long limbs.  We get it.

The magic Comp Kit runs out of gas.  But a fantastic run for MaKiri.

Flying Jo.

10% pasta, 90% win.

Bepa's Madonna Arms Get It Done

Nice win for CanWoz at the expense of Momo.  64 60?  What happened, Amelie?

 

Nails did what she does, bitchslapping the ever annoying Burrito, 61 63.  Nice to see Nails back in form after her injury.  Keep it up, China!

 

And finally, in Badassery news, Flavia double-bageled Sania and Bepa came back from dropping the first set to Chakky to double 'sticking her.  Kudos, ladies.

Anyone For Tennis?

Cuz clearly the pros are vacation in NYC. 

A-Rod's off doing some cross training at Yankee stadium.

Venus is busy stimulating the economy...

...and going on cruises.

Masha's off celebrating the other Serena's 22nd birthday...

...and 's dorking it up while schilling her wares. 

(The jury's out on the "comfortability" of the Cole Haan gear.)

Serena's going all retro and getting oiled up...wait a sec...

Well, of course.  I mean, duh.

And then everyone and their mother showed up to the BNP Paribas Taste of Tennis event as if it were a free buffet.  Even the Daveed's sensitive soul couldnt say no to that.  But trust me, he was way emo about it.  Well, or whatever the Spanish equivalent to emo is.

Thankfully Marin actually did show up and dear God I hope he did treat it like a buffet.

Andy broke out his evening hat and manned the bar.  You know, like a good Austin boy would.

Shit, even Bepa showed up.  BEPA!!!  That's how crazy this is!  And dudes!  She even went to the K Swiss event!  Dammit, now I want to just do Patron shots with her.  And that's saying something.  Because I feel about Patron the way Bepa feels about her racquets.

Does *anyone* want to play tennis? 

Let's face it, when Bepa is the only Russian at your cocktail party, something's gone horribly awry.  Unless it's like...a U.N. peacekeeping envoy cocktail party, in which case, you better get ready for a shot of peace with a harmony chaser.

But seriously, where are the Serbs in all this?  You're telling me a party was thrown and Ana wasn't the guest of honor, Nole wasn't invited, and JJ didn't crash it?  What is this world?  And where the fuck are Marat and Dina?  My head hurts.

Please, Clarissa.  Explain it all.

Oh, and Blah put on a suit and signed some books somewhere.

Well That Was Unexpected.

Um, phew, I guess.  Ana survives to lose another day, after playing like crap but somehow beating Melanie, 26 61 61.  Let's see, she served at 45% and had 9 double faults.  So this will be fun.  She'll play Czink next, who bounced The Cone, 3 and 2.  At least having The Cone around reminds me that *all* is not lost.

CanWoz took a whoopin' stick to CSN, serving up a bagel and 3 to move on to play fellow Polish ex-pat, Caro.

And she won.  Congratulations.  Or something.

Results so far:

Singles - First Round
(9) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Kaia Kanepi (EST) 63 76(2)
(11) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) d. (Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) 26 61 61
Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) d. (16) Virginie Razzano (FRA) 63 36 64
Patty Schnyder (SUI) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 64 60
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 60 63
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Iveta Benesova (CZE) 63 76(7)
Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (Q) Tatjana Malek (GER) 64 61
Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Alizé Cornet (FRA) 63 62
(Q) Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR) d. Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 62 62
(Q) Olga Govortsova (BLR) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 61 63

Cars, Real Estate, and Jewels

I don't know why but all I can imagine Venus driving now is an El Camino. Also, I think it's a travesty that Agi isn't in these videos. I would love to hear her scoff at the idea of extravagance.

Pic This: "Lookin' For Fun and Feelin' Groovaaaaay..."

She looks so happy!  [squeal!]


Look!  Whatshernameova is into the fourth round of Wimbledon.  Crazy.


I feel ya, hair.  I feel ya.


Yes, Fer.  You're SO pretty.  Move on. 


Oh look.  You did.  Congrats.


This is the same look I had when I saw "Thriller" for the first time when I was 5.  Literally.


Hey Ladies, do you have that not-so-fresh feeling?

You're welcome.


Hehe.  Dudi.


Dudes.  Tranny vs. Gypsy on Monday. 

If you feel a cold wind blowin, London, you know why.


You creep me out, TechnoKing.  You creep me out.


Sara Foster tries to combine the best traits from Mirka and Kim and fails miserably. 

Is that Blackberry from 2005?  Hey oh!


Aw.  Much love, losers.


I TAKE IT BACK!  PUT ON THE VEST!  PUT ON THE VEST!

Oh, Canada.

So CanWoz and Dancey go out.  Which makes me sad on a number of levels but even more so because I was getting really excited about using this picture...

Pole Position

Nice profile by the NY Times on the Polish surge in the WTA. 

Dear Adidas: Just give the Rads and CanWoz a contract already.  Then you'd have all 5, which would be like grabbing the entire side of a Monopoly board (I'll leave it to you guys to decide whether it's the "Park Place" side or the "St. James Place" side).

CanWoz Is Doping. You Heard It Here First.

Fantastic run for my favorite Canuck.  There's just something so damn likeable about her.  The French-Canadian-Polish accent, the perpetual smile, the little extra chub, the completely mismatched and out of season Adidas gear.  What's not to love?  So good on her for this impressive run.  Just goes to show that on fast(ish) surfaces, she's a dangerous lurker.  Remember what happened last year in Stanford?

So we get yet another Woz-Woz matchup.  I wonder if CanWoz was waiting courtside to give Caro a high five this time.  Yeah, probably not.  We all know how that worked out last time.

As for the other semi it'll be an all French affair (seriously, why can't you girls play on CLAY?).  I guess I'll go with the Gypsy on this one, mainly because she dumped A-Rad out today.  Can't wait to see Agi's artistic rendering of that one.

(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 63 62
Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 76(5) 75
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 61 64
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) 61 60

Uh...Moving On To Wimbledon...

   

Boots, Mono, Gypsey, CanWoz, Dushevina, A-Rad, Makarova, and AMG.  These are your quarterfinalists at Eastbourne, a WTA Premier tournament and Wimbledon warmup.  Lena, Sam, Chak, Jay Z, and Momo all out today.  Nads and Nails had to retire with injuries.  Tough luck.

I don't mean to belittle the players that are left (go Boots, CanWoz, and A-Rad!) but this tourney sure took a hit on the marquee today.

Singles - Second Round

Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (1) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 60 36 76(4)
(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Samantha Stosur (AUS) 61 57 61
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. (7) Nadia Petrova (RUS) 57 10 ret. (right low back injury)
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Li Na (CHN) 31 ret. (left abdominal strain)
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 75 63
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. Zheng Jie (CHN) 76(3) 63
Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) d. Sybille Bammer (AUT) 61 75

(Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) 76(8) 76(13)

Doubles - Quarterfinals
King/Zheng (USA/CHN) d. Dushevina/Voskoboeva (RUS/KAZ) 62 75
Amanmuradova/Sugiyama (UZB/JPN) d. (WC) Borwell/Keothavong (GBR/GBR) 76(3) 63

Doubles - First Round
(1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) d. (WC) Ivanovic/Lisicki (SRB/GER) 61 62
Husarova/Kirilenko (SVK/RUS) d. Craybas/Kudryavtseva (USA/RUS) 62 57 1917

As for the boys, Dima battled past Boggy to guarantee the possibility of a Dima/Nads Introduction to Eastbourne Pubs video.  So that's nice.

Singles - Second Round 
[2] D Tursunov (RUS) d [Q] A Bogdanovic 67(2) 64 76(5) 
D Istomin (UZB) d [6] S Querrey (USA) 36 76(3) 64 
L Mayer (ARG) d J Benneteau (FRA) 64 64 
[Q] F Dancevic d [WC] J Ward (GBR) 76(6) 64

Doubles - Quarter-finals 
T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) d [2] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) 76(5) 64 
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) d [WC] C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) 63 67(5) 10-7
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) d [4] M Mirnyi (BLR) / A Ram (ISR) 63 64
M Fyrsentberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d L Arnold Ker (ARG) / M Kohlman (GER) 63 64  

Doubles - First Round
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) d [WC] J Erlich (ISR) / J Murray (GBR) 46 76(6) 10-7

Sniper! Sniper!!!

The seeds went atumbling today.  #2, 3, and 4 are out of Eastbourne. 

I'm not entirely sure how a struggling Chakky beats a well-rested JJ on grass in the first round.  But it happened.  And it was a head scratcher.  JJ blamed the change in surface and lack of motivation:

"It took me a while to get the rhythm out there.  And then for some reason from staying so low and getting those low balls my legs got so tight and so tired, and especially in the third set I didn't have the energy in my legs anymore to bend down."

"It was obviously my first match on grass. I'll play Wimbledon and then we'll see. At least I can take a few weeks off then. I wish I could take a break now. I need to get to where I want to play tennis again."

Yikes.

Another head scratcher?  Not that Kuz lost to CanWoz, but that she got bageled in the first set and only took three games off of her.  But we'll cut The Kuz some slack here.  She's not a robot:

"I played for two months on clay and I have it almost in my blood.  I don't have to think about the tactics. I know how to defend, how to attack and what time; how to serve and this and that. And on this surface, everything is opposite. For me, it's too much to change in three days."

The less shocking upset of the day was Momo over Bepa in three.  Nice to see that while Bepa has added much needed strapping to her ankles, she has not gone away from her Casper routine.  I'm just shocked her towel wasn't blue.  Then she'd be *completely* invisible, just like she likes it.

Also losing today? Domi, Sorana, and AKO.  You know who didn't lose?  Dina, who bageled and 3'd ALG.  And no I'm not surprised that it's been over 2 hours since that match ended and there is no story in my newsfeed abou this.

As for the boys, both the top two seeds are out of Eastbourne S'Hitogenbosch.  Fer, lover of grass, lost to Benjamin Becker and Tommy Boredo (I can call him that now that we're off clay) lost to MAR-COS BagDAHtis *clapclapclapclapclap*.

Over in Eastbourne, Igor (top seeded Igor?) followed his ladyfriend out of the tournament,  losing to Fancy Dancy.  Nice day for the Canucks.

Eastbourne Results

Women
Singles – First Round

Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (2/WC) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 60 63
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. (3) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 67(5) 63 62
Amélie Mauresmo (FRA) d. (4) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 63 16 63
(6) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 63 62
(8) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Urszula Radwanska (POL) 61 61
Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 61
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. Ai Sugiyama (JPN) 67(6) 75 64
(Q) Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) d. (Q) Jarmila Groth (SVK) 76(7) 61

Doubles – First Round
(4) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. Chuang/Mirza (TPE/IND) 75 64
Mattek-Sands/Petrova (USA/RUS) d. Senoglu/Yan (TUR/CHN) 61 64
King/Zheng (USA/CHN) d. Kleybanova/Makarova (RUS/RUS) 76(7) 63

Men
Singles - Second Round
[4] F Santoro (FRA) d R Ginepri (USA) 46 64 61
[8] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d Y Lu (TPE) 64 67(0) 76(3)
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [WC] J Goodall (GBR) 63 75
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d [Q] B Klein (AUS) 76(5) 61

Singles - First Round
[Q] F Dancevic (CAN) d [1] I Andreev (RUS) 76(6) 62
J Benneteau (FRA) d [5] M Youzhny (RUS) 46 64 64

Doubles - First Round
M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d [1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 61 76(3)
L Arnold Ker (ARG) / M Kohlmann (GER) d A Seppi (ITA) / L Zovko (CRO) 64 36 10-6
[WC] C Fleming (GBR) / K Skupski (GBR) d M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) 64 46 10-8
J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) d J Benneteau (FRA) / F Santoro (FRA) 62 61
[3] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) vs [WC] J Erlich (ISR) / J Murray (GBR) 46 76(6) - to finish Wednesday

S'Hitogenbosch Results

Women:
Singles - Second Round
(3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Ksenia Pervak (RUS) 61 61
(WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. (4) Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 64 63
Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) d. (7) Iveta Benesova (CZE) 63 61
Kristina Barrois (GER) d. (WC) Michaella Krajicek (NED) 64 63

Singles - First Round

(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 60 63
Nathalie Dechy (FRA) d. (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 63 36 63
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Stéphanie Foretz (FRA) 64 67(1) 63

Doubles - First Round
Lefèvre/Védy (FRA/FRA) d. (WC) Flipkens/Kerkhove (BEL/NED) 62 64

Men:
Singles - Second Round
[Q] B Becker (GER) d [1] F Verdasco (ESP) 75 76(4)
D Sela (ISR) d [5] I Kunitsyn (RUS) 64 63
I Navarro (ESP) d [6] M Gicquel (FRA) 64 36 75
M Llodra (FRA)d [Q] K Vliegen (BEL) vs 62 63

Singles - First Round
M Baghdatis (CYP) d [2] T Robredo (ESP) 75 62
[Q] T de Bakker (NED) d B Phau (GER) 76(3) 26 63

Doubles - First Round
[1] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) d [WC] T de Bakker (NED) / J Huta Galung (NED) 64 76(5)
[WC] R Sluiter (NED) / P Wessels (NED) d [2] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 76(3) 67(4) 10-4
[3] C Kas (GER) / P Petzschner (GER) d O Hernandez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) 67(2) 63 10-8
J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) d D Vemic (SRB) / M Zverev (GER) 76(8) 62
O Marach (AUT) / D Skoch (CZE) d P Andujar (ESP) / D Ferrer (ESP) 62 63
A Clement (FRA) / M Gicquel (FRA) d R Wassen (NED) / I Zelenay (SVK) 64 62

Seriously, Sam. You Can Speak Yourself. Or Not. I Don't Know.

Dina's thinly veiled offense that the interviewer didn't know who Yelena Isinbayeva is ridix awesome. And what does it say about me that I immediately imagined that if Isinbayeva was asked about Dina she'd respond with a "Who?"

Also, Hsieh-Su Wei is my new favorite tennis player.  Why?  "Because she's coo."

Taking the High Road

You know, fans can have goals for tournaments, too.  It's not just for the athletes!  So, my goal for this tournament, which came over me very suddenly this morning, is acceptance.  That's right.  No more will I allow the gloating fans, the crazy smack talk, or the turning up at Slams out of nowhere and destroying my favourites to bother me.  Dude, I got other shit to do.  I got books to read.  So, feel the Serena love.  I even watched the match!  Well... as much of it as TTC showed.  I guess a blowout is no fun no matter who's playing.

Anyway, Serena looked good.  Not that anyone could possibly have expected her to have any trouble with Aleks Wozniak.  There were some points that Aleks played really really well, and even more that she... didn't.  A clay court specialist she is not, bless.  

Serena's starting to find her shots and solidify her movement, so her game is (as usual) getting more secure as the tournament progresses.  There's not much else to say except that the farther she goes in any given tournament, the more likely she is to win it.  Serena in tennis tournaments is the complete opposite of the concept of "half life".  Double life?  Is there such a thing?  Help a girl out, science peeps.  And also, this picture cracked my shit up:

1-1

That's Serena's new record against Klara Zakopalova for the '09 clay court season.  So... there's that.  I can't really say anything about anyone's level of play since I didn't watch very much of it, but I can say that Serena's knee wrap looked oddly high tech.  Although I could be making that up in my head.

I don't think she's even wearing jewelry from her own line. What kind of marketing strategy is that, Serena?  

There were other matches this morning, of course, mostly wrapped around a two hour rain delay...

Jelena's new not-entirely-horrible, but not-entirely-awesome Anta dress made its debut today. That's also a pretty good summary of how she played against Petra Cetkovska-- it's kind of like her game is currently on a factory reset: the big problem is gone, but none of the old programming has been reinstalled yet. Competent, and certainly enough to get her through the first two or three rounds, but not entirely solid yet. Meanwhile, look who's wearing pink!

Man. If, in some alternate universe, it ended up being a Dinara/Sveta final, Sveta would immediately have the upper hand because Dinara would be so. Jealous. Sveta played a really solid match against Claire Feuerstein, a French journeywoman who turned out to be much better than anyone thought she'd be-- possibly including Feuerstein herself.

'Round the ATP side, Nicolas Lapentti did his part to get Philippe Chartrier back on schedule by retiring down 4-6, 1-3 to Nole.  

  

Lapentti rolled his ankle-- which was already heavily taped-- towards the end of the first set, and obviously never got comfortable again. Nole looked calm and collected, had some silly misses, but mostly looked in perfectly good shape for the beginning of the tournament. 

Other results thus far: Monfils, Kohlscreiber, JMDP, Gicquel, Seppi and Disco Tommy all through easily in straight sets. Juan Monaco just knocked out Marcos-- Marcos, we hardly knew ye.  Caro, unsurprisingly, took the third set against Vera D fairly easily (6-1). The Gypsy prolonged Dani's misery by beating her in straight sets, Ruano Pascal did the same to Nikki V. Aleks Wozniak went through in 3, U-Rad went out in 3. Lena D through in straights, but went down a couple of breaks in the first. Sania's out and Dokic is through (only her second win since the AO?!). Quality guy Ivan Ljubicic is in a deciding set with Ferrero and Jo Willy and Apricot Bars are locked down in battle on Chartrier, but ESPN2 has decided I'd rather watch Blah. They are incorrect. Thank god for livestreaming. One note: conditions today have been terrible-- hours of rain delays this morning, terrible wind ever since. It looks like hell out there.

Quick Recovery

Congrats to Boots, who picked up her fourth career title at Ponte Vedra, defeating CanWoz, 61 62.  What a nice tribute to Easter that a Bunny Ranch alum took the title.

As for CanWoz she just didn't show up today.  Clearly Boots' ability to just sit back and play retriever didn't jive with her game.  Lots of unforced errors and untimely double faults all over the place.  That's ok though, nice tournament for her. 

And I'll always tune in to watch CanWoz for no other reason than to see what crazy combo of Adidas leftovers she'll rock on any given day.  Today she kept with the Easter theme, working the white and pink Adidas competition tank with the blue competition skirt. 

Come on, Canada.  Get the kid a sponsorship deal.

Of Poles and Russians.

 
What a day in Ponte Vedra.  Huge win for CanWoz and a gutsy "how'd she do that" win for Boots. 

CanWoz regrouped after losing a 4-1 lead in the second set to take the match 64 46 62.  Per Nads, I've never seen anybody paint more lines than she did today."  Good job, CanWoz!  I can't wait to see what Adidas leftovers you'll wear on the court tomorrow.

As for Boots, WTF?  Happy for you but good lord, Vezzy.  That was a pretty epic display of refusing to win a match. I mean, all credit for Boots for being courageous and staying calm (she had problems dealing with the heat all through the match), but Elena!  You had four match points and couldn't convert.  You served for the set at 5-2 in the second and still lost the set.  You had match points with two break points at 6-5 in the third and couldn't convert.  And then you cried.  You cried going into the tiebreak.  And then you lost.

Oh, Russians.  It's almost comical at this point. 

Alright. You Sucked Me In, Ponte Vedra.

Now that the wheat has been separated from the chaff this tourney kinda rules.  I mean, you have the perrenial Russian benchwarmer, the other Woz, and Nads into the semifinals, with Boots anchoring the four.  That 's some fun shit, y'all.

(1) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. (7) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 46 63 76(5)
(2) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (WC) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 62 62
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (3/WC) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) 75 67(5) 63
(5) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. Tamira Paszek (AUT) 63 36 76(7)

Saturday OOP:

Stadium (from 12.00hrs)
1. Petrova vs. Wozniak
2. Vesnina vs. Wozniacki

Bee Tee Dub -- What is the deal with CanWoz?  She's wearing Adidas gear from last summer.  Last year at Stanford she was in Stella McCartney.  What's the story, morning glory?  So *is* sponsored by Adidas, right?

"Eli's coming, hide your heart girls."

JMDP took Daveed behind the shed and gave him a whoopin.  Is there any doubt in anyone's mind anymore that JMDP is the real thing?  Watch out Kolya, I think we have a new #5 coming in 2009.  Watch your rear view, boys, Eli's coming.  Sylar will simply not be stopped.

I'm about to hit the hay, but it looks like A-Rod is in fine control of his match with Viktor.  Good for him.  It would be nice to see him end the season strong. 

As for the ladies, are we on the verge of a Woz v. Woz final?  Ski Boots has been plowing through the Tokyo field, beating Touchdown Tammy today 64 61.  Meanwhile, on the other half of the draw, A-Woz took out Sam Stosur, 75 63.

There's a reason why Masha and Ana made the Forbes top 10 list.

Girls be cleanin' up good. 

Some pictures from the Montreal players party below.  If you have about 15 minutes to kill, click here and you can watch all the players arrive.  Boy, WTA players come in all shapes and sizes.  Alisa Kleybanova is a big girl, Nikki V. looked liked she was going to prom, and it was very cute that Sybille Bammer brought her daughter.  And in the video you can tell that compared to Maria, Ana is a rookie.  You can physically feel her shyness through the camera.

Anyhoo, on to the pictures.

Masha looks fantastic.  She wasn't kidding when she said she loved menswear.  I could do without the leggings, but the blazer does look great.  So chic!  She looks like she works at an ad agency.

Ana looks great.  Doesn't she look like she works for Lucky or Teen Vogue or something?  I love her new haircut.  Makes her look more sophisticated while the dress still plays to  her "I'm so young and cute!" demographic.

Sveta, Elena D, and Elena Vesnina yukkin' it up in Russian.  Lena D looks ready for a night on the town.  Sveta looks like she's going to a Feist concert.  You can't see it in the picture but she's wearing some dirty white Cons.

Ana's potential QF opponent, Vera Zvonereva.  I have the number for a good tailor, honey.  Call me.

And Canada's Girl of the Month, Alexandra Wozniak, who, in an act so punk that Joey Ramone would bow down, refused to put bronzer on her ridiculous white feet.  You go, girl.

Pics courtesy of WTA Tennis Forums.

Week 29: Tourney Results

A fairly random and interesting week of results.  Szavay and Wozniaki crashed out of Bad Gastein, opening the door for Pauline Parmentier to prevail over a qualifier in the final. 

But more importantly, this week marked the first week of the Olympus US Open Series.  A few big names were in action (namely, James Blake, Serena Williams, and A Chak) but at the end of the day it was a couple of relative unknowns that hoisted the trophies.

 
Gilles Simon, who I had never seen play until today and who Jimmy Arias called "the most anonymous #25 in history, beat Dmitry Tursunov at Indianapolis.  Simon is a true counter-puncher who has a weak serve and no kill shot, but against Tursonov he was able to hang with the hard hitting Russian until Dima lost his patience and his nerve and started spraying UFEs everywhere.  Simon's reward?  A potential second round matchup with Roger in Montreal.

On the Ladies' side, I think everyone assumed that Marion Bartoli would walk all over the Aleksandra Wozniak, the Canadian qualifier.  But Wozniak hung in there and battled back to win the first set 75.  After that, the French Donut started to have some hip problems and hobbled all over the court.  On one hand, all credit to her (if the injury was real) to stay on the court and let Woz actually win the match.  On the other hand, it looked a little fake and at times, like gamesmanship.  I'll give Le Donut the benefit of the doubt though.

Despite Bartoli's difficulties, all credit to A Woz.  She came out with a simple gameplan, hit it deep and hit the corners, and she executed beautifully.  She also moved surprisingly well.  She'll move up to #45 now and if she can maintain her fitness and keep this level of play, there's no reason she shouldn't be a top #25 player.  She's solid.

Next Week:

• ATP: Rogers' Cup (Masters) in Toronto
• WTA: East West Bank Classic (Tier II) in LA

In Action

• All the guys will be in Toronto. 
• Jankovic, Kuznetsova, Serena (though doubtful), Vaidasova, Safina, and other top 20ers will be in LA.