Forty Deuce

Air Quotes: "I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, DAN!"

"Yeah, I saw Serena before the match. I said to her, It's not fair you're dressing up so nicely. I'm gonna watch more what you're wearing than the ball. She looked really amazing."

-- Mono.  I don't think it's a coincidence that I love everyone who hates her and hate everyone she loves.  No coincidence at all.

Air Quotes: It's Always Code, Andy. Always.

Q.  Does Billie Jean [his dog] travel with you is one question, and then tradition says that paper is the first anniversary gift.
ANDY RODDICK:  Yeah, we were talking about it the other day.  Stupid paper.  What do you, buy stationary?

Q.  You’re not gonna get away with that, are you?
ANDY RODDICK:  No, we had like the conversation like we don’t need gifts, and now I don’t know if that’s code for, You better get me a gift.

Q.  Yes.  I can tell you that.
ANDY RODDICK:  Yes?

Q.  Oh, yes.  I’m helping you out.
ANDY RODDICK:  Yeah?  Well, shit.  (Laughter.)

Q.  Stationary is pretty reasonable.
ANDY RODDICK:  I mean, I would feel guilty if I gave my wife stationery.  Not to ruin guys everywhere who gave stationery, but what am I gonna get, her name?  She knows her name.

Q.  Paper.  You know, paper.
ANDY RODDICK:  Oh, yeah.  Money?  No, she better give me money.  She’s had a better year professionally than I have.
What was the other question?

Q.  Billie Jean travel with you?
ANDY RODDICK:  Sometimes.  She was is out in Indian Wells for the whole thing, but now she’s    Brooke’s out in L.A. working, so she’s with her.  She kind of cruises around from place to place and normally is happy wherever that is.

Q.  Does she fit underneath when you’re on a…
ANDY RODDICK:  No.  You know, we’ve had to keep up her self esteem, because the airlines have deemed her too fat to fit on a plane.  So we have to constantly shower her with love and build up that self esteem and tell her she’s beautiful.

Q.  It’s working?
ANDY RODDICK:  Some days are better than others.

And with that, I get to plug an indie movie that I'm very excited to hopefully see.  It just debuted in Austin at SXSW, Andy's hometown.  So thanks, Andy!

Air Quotes: Andy Goes On Blast...In A Good Way

In case you haven't heard, American Wayne Odesnik was caught in possession of HGH while trying to enter Australia.  He pled guilty and will likely be banned from the ATP tour.  Interestingly, he had just hired the recently retired Guillermo Canas as his coach.  Willy isn't a stranger to doping inquiries.

A-Rod ain't havin' it:

Q.  Sorry to be a rally killer, but I wanted to hear your comments and thoughts on Wayne Odesnik.

    ANDY RODDICK:  If he pled guilty, which it looks like he did, there's nothing worse than that.  I'm normally the one to give people the benefit of the doubt.
If that's the case, what we read today, that's just plain cheating and they should throw him out of tennis.  There's just no room for it.  I don't    I was shocked.  I was surprised.  You know, we don't need stories like that.  You know, I know that's the minority. If that's the case, I have zero sympathy.

    Q.  Your feelings are just as strong even though it was a possession and not a positive test?

    ANDY RODDICK:  If you have a possession, you know you're not supposed to have it.  You're not supposed to be anywhere near it.  You're not supposed to know about it.  You're not supposed to smuggle it into a country. If you have    I mean, if you caught your sons or daughters and they possessed some type of drug, they're guilty of probably using, as well, correct?  You know, I don't see the difference.  If you have it and it's not enough to    you either have it to sell it or you have it to take it.  So either way, it's not the play.  It's no good.

    Q.  How well did you know him?

    ANDY RODDICK:  I know Wayne a little bit.  I mean, I wouldn't say we're friends.  He used to train in Austin sometimes.  You know, I don't think we ever really did much together.  But it's just normally when this has happened in tennis it's been someone that is like I don't really know at all.  To have it be one of our guys and for us to lose a guy in the top 100, it makes me a little angry, you know. I don't you know, I don't want that stigma attached to our country and to our players, so it really pisses me off.

    Q.  That's the thing, the average person sees this in the paper tomorrow and they think...
    ANDY RODDICK:  That's what makes me angry.  We have the most    in your articles that you will write, I hope that they're at least researched to the point where we have the most stringent drug testing policies in sports. We're up there with the Olympics.  We can't take Sudafed because something will come up.  We have to be accountable for where we are I have to send in my forms next week to tell people where I'm gonna be for the next month every single day.  If my wife and I want to drive for a day trip somewhere, I have to call in and say, We're going here, here, and here and provide an address.  So I hope with the articles that they will at least acknowledge that.  The ATP and the powers that be in tennis have done every single thing possible, you know, with the exception of assigning a person to follow each person around 24 hours a day and sleep with the person, to mitigate these problems, you know.

    Q.  So you do not think there is a problem in the sport?
    ANDY RODDICK:  I don't see how there can be.  I mean, unless everybody's packing vials of stuff in their bags and smuggling it into countries, which I don't God, I have a hard time believing that, you know.  You know, I think HGH is the one in every sport where I hope they come up with a test and I hope they start just slamming guys.  I hope when they do come up with a test for it they don't tell anybody and they just implement it and start picking people off.

    Q.  There actually is a test, Andy, but it's not used in tennis.

    ANDY RODDICK:  Well, the sooner the better.  I think they should use it everywhere.  You know, I just hope that    I wouldn't be surprised if there is a test out there that we're gonna be the first to come fly with it.  I hope we do.  I hope this will move it.  There's no room for it.  We don't need it.  We don't need that stigma. I take a lot of pride in what we have to do on a daily basis and how responsible we have to be for, one    lack of a better word    for one jackass to ruin it for the rest of us.

I'm glad someone came out and said it.  It would have been a worse mark on the sport if players tried to justify what happened.

Air Quotes: Note To JJ...

 Q.  Last question for the new me:  Your goals.  I mean, once you reach No. 1, is it automatic, I have to be No. 1 again, or do you have other goals?

 ANA IVANOVIC:  No, my goals are actually to win a Slam.  I was very fortunate I won a Grand Slam and became No. 1.  I mean, it's great to be No. 1 because that's been my dream since I was a kid. But winning Grand Slam is something special.  I think it's something people remember even more than just the position you have.  So that's definitely my goal, and I know I have a potential to do it again.  I just need to, yeah, to keep working hard.

(Source)

Air Quotes: Riiiiiight.

"The first moment when I became number one in the world was six years ago now and it was a magical moment in my career.  It was pretty special and I always wanted to get back there.  Some people have that drive more than others who've been No. 1. Rafa doesn't seem like he cares as much for No. 1, or he doesn't show it."

-- The Might Fed.  Um...you can question a lot of things with Rafa, but drive ain't one of them, homie.

Pic This: PUT THE EYELINER AWAY.

Air Quotes: Absolutely, JJ. Let's Not Make A Fuss. Does She Know What "Make A Fuss" Means?

- “I slept from Miami to Zurich and was then awaken by hard turbulence. Everyone was frightened. I don’t fear flying on a plane, but I must admit this one was a real scare. Luckily it all ended well. I just hope there is no jet lag effect on me. I respect the Russian team but I believe in my own strengths and that’s what is most important for me now,” said Jankovic.

JJ then reflected on the nature of her injury.

- “I didn’t want to make a fuss out of it. I used a painkiller cream during some matches at the Australian Open. The injury is not at all naive, but I think I will recover soon. I am still not fully fit, but I’m playing no matter what, and I hope it’s enough for us to beat Russia,” said Jelena.

ZOMG, YOU GUYS!?!  SHE ALMOST *DIED* ON THE WAY OVER!

What a patriot.  I salute, you, you death defying Serbian princess.

Air Quotes: Alrighty Then.

Q. How do you keep doing it year after year, Grand Slam after Grand Slam? You make it look so easy, and obviously it isn't.

ROGER FEDERER: Yeah, look, there's no secret behind it. You know, I mean, definitely a very talented player (laughter). I always knew I had something special, but I didn't know it was like, you know, that crazy.

Air Quotes: Reason #11

Q. Have you got a thought on tomorrow night's match at all?

JUSTINE HENIN: I'll be flying at that time, so... Well, I'm sure it's going to be a great match. For me, maybe the two best players of the world at the moment. I don't know, Andy Murray is such a smart player. What he's doing on the court is just fantastic.

Roger, what can we say more than what he's doing? I mean, I have so much respect. I still think he's gonna win. But I hope and I'm sure it's going to be a great battle.

Air Quotes: And That's How Serena "C"s it.

Q. Who's your winner [of the Men's final]?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Hmm? I always go for the underdog. But at the same time, I always root for the champion. But I like Andy 'cause he's really sweet. But I like Roger 'cause he's really nice. So I don't know.

Q. Perfectly clear now.

SERENA WILLIAMS: Exactly (laughter).

Q. You seemed so emotional at the end of the night. Did you consider climbing into the box?

SERENA WILLIAMS: You know, I did. If you saw me, I did a pull‑up, but my muscles freezed because there's no chance I could lift my weight in a pull‑up. There was no chance I would have made it up. I was like, Okay, that's a hopeless cause.

Q. Difference between Kim and Justine?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Uhm, hmm. I'm going to keep that to myself.

Q. Have you got any spare Super Bowl tickets?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Oh, I do, but they're for sale. Hello. They're like $10,000. They're nice suite seats.

Air Quotes: Game, Set, Match, Tsonga.

“Q. Novak talked about his problems. He had some problems during the match. When did you first notice that he was having problems?

JO‑WILFRIED TSONGA: Five years ago. (Smiling.)”

Pic This: First Round's On Pam

Q. To be top 10, the first top 10 in China, what kind of satisfaction is that for you?

NA LI: So exciting. Maybe I take the beer tonight.

Air Quotes: Monotone Muzz

Q. When you talk with your team after a win like tonight, do you smile more? Do you have a voice which sounds more happy than now? Now you talk almost like you lost.

ANDY MURRAY: Have you ever sat in this seat before? I mean, last year I played 80 odd matches and we do a press conference after every single match. We do one before every tournament. More for other bits and pieces.

Q. It's very boring.

ANDY MURRAY: Well, I don't know (smiling). You just get used to doing it. I don't get excited about doing them anymore.

THE MODERATOR: That's lucky because this one's over.

Air Quotes: It Kills Me That I Can't Root For You

Q. Why are you playing such good tennis?

MARIN CILIC: 'Cause I'm a good player (smiling).

Air Quotes: Dumbest Question Ever, Courtesy of Bud Collins.

Q. Ever played in a match with so many twists and turns?

ANDY RODDICK: I don't know. I'm sure I have. I can't remember right now. You know, that's the way it is sometimes.

Air Quotes: So...What's New With You...

Rafa's Presser:

Q. Could you let us know what the condition is, what the latest story is with the knee. It's very unusual for you to stop during a match.

RAFAEL NADAL: Yes, well, is not a lot of history because was during the match. Was in the end of the second set in one drop. And I feeled similar thing to what I had last year.

And, yes, after that I can't go down after that, no? So was impossible to win the match. When I have the chance to play, I never retired. Anyway, like I know I going to lose like I did in Rotterdam like last year. I say sorry to Andy for that.

I felt pain still there without no one minimum chance to do nothing, the same time is hard for me be five more games there without try nothing, no? So I don't know if I still playing can go worst or something. So I said, well, no repeat the same mistake like I had last year. I go to the limit, but not cross the limit, no?

...

Q. Is it the same sort of injury?

RAFAEL NADAL: I say before yes.

Q. Does it feel worse or the same?

RAFAEL NADAL: Worst?

Q. Does it feel as bad as it did last year?

RAFAEL NADAL: I don't know, no? Is happen few minutes ago, no?

Q. It happened the end of the second set?

RAFAEL NADAL: Yes.

Q. You were talking about your level of play today. When do you think you last played as confidently and as well as you were doing for the first two sets?

RAFAEL NADAL: I think last time was here last year.

Q. Here last year?

RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah. Because after that I played well few matches in Indian Wells. But after that started the pain. And after the pain, I didn't play bad, but far away from this level, no? I worked a lot at home. Lot of months working to play at this level now.

For sure for me is little bit disappointing have the pain on the knee because I think I am very close to start winning these important matches, no? And I think I gonna do soon.

Q. Are there any changes you're going to make to your training style or your playing style?

RAFAEL NADAL: Don't start, guys, with these questions right now. I think is not the right moment. I think I changed the style to play. If you see my matches 2005 or 2004, 2006, I run a lot compared to now, no?

So today I played against one of the best players of the world, and I think I wasn't run more than him. So I played aggressive. I played having the control of the point, a lot of the time with the forehand and the backhand, too, returning aggressive. If you see my matches three years ago, that's didn't happen, no?

Remember, we are playing on hard courts. Probably in this surface I have to play my best tennis, like today, if I really want to have chances to win. If not, then the opponents, there are really good players, and Andy's unbelievable. He's playing really well. You know, with these matches, I think I was very close today. But just little bit more calm when I had the break.

Q. How confident can you be that your knee problems are going to suddenly stop?

RAFAEL NADAL: Well, I worked a lot. I didn't have lot of problems for the last six months. And today is the first time, no? I felt something when I think is a bad movement. But is not, you know, because the knee is tired or has been a bad movement or gesture.

No, I think going to be okay.

...

Q. Are you worried how long your knee might keep you out?

RAFAEL NADAL: No, no.

Q. You don't think it will keep you out for a long time?

RAFAEL NADAL: I repeat: I said before, I think is impossible to me to know after half an hour.

Air Quotes: His Airness

Q. Has this been a fun week for you being in the public eye a little bit more than usual?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: You mean now, in this moment?

Q. Jim Courier is interviewing you on the court. That didn't happen in years past. This room is full.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yeah. That's was surprising. Why you guys here? (Laughter.) Just I don't know what has change. Why you come now and you asking me some private questions? I don't know. It's you. You need to ask yourself why you come here.

And how about Prince being retarded and only renewing his contract for this Slam:

Q. Have you allowed yourself to dream that it might be this time?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Dream? No, no. No, I never dream. Maybe in the night, but not in the day.

Q. Seems that Prince has found your phone number again. They offered a contract with the racquets again.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Just for Grand Slam. Because it's big tournament, I think for Prince it's be okay.

Q. You said last year all the money was for Sharapova.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yes. Still like this. Nothing change.

That's bullshit, Prince.  BULLSHIT.  If his contract doesn't get renewed for the full year after the AO, that's just pathetic.  Don't make me start ranting about your shit. 

Here's Prince's twitter.  Let them know how you feel.

Air Quotes: Captain Obvious

Q. You sound a bit like Sean Connery.

ANDY MURRAY: I am Scottish, so I sound a little bit like him.

Air Quotes: Huh. Didn't See That One Coming.

"My boyfriend, because he’s my boyfriend! (laughs)."

-- Franny, on who she would want to have dinner with.

Air Quotes: "I Hear You."

It's been an amazingly boring day in Melbourne.  All the seeds have not just won, they've demolished opponents.  So thank GOD we have Kolya to entertain us:

Q. So much of the emphasis on tennis these days in the men's game is about players who are 6'7", 6'9". We have Karlovic, Isner, Del Potro. Huge men. Here you are.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Come on. But I am not so small.

Q. Relatively.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: To another guy, maybe.

Q. There are different ways of succeed in tennis.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: But these guys running like me? No.

Q. Trying.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: These guys just have different tennis. I think it's now at this time, if you see, it's tennis is so much different. Everybody can play. You know, some guys who make good serve and play volley and another guys running play only baseline and play very well.

That's was I ‑‑ Nadal also 6'0".

Q. A lot of stories in the papers are about how the male tennis player is getting bigger and bigger. When you walk past Isner you must think he's a giant.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: But why everybody scare me? Of me, I mean.

Q. Maybe you scare them more than they scare you.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yeah, but I hope I do my level, you know, and I can beat every 6'0" guys in the tour.

Q. Are you still one of the least‑known players? Do you get bothered for your autograph? You said no one in London did at all. Are you becoming a little bit more...

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: If I go outside now here, it's be difficult to do in autograph. But in the street in the city, yes it's easy. Nobody recognize me and it's good feeling really. Really good feeling.

Q. You live your life.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yes. I like what ‑‑ how I enjoy my life, yes, like this.

Q. If you win a Grand Slam, what do you think will happen in Russia?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: I don't go to Russia after Australian Open. That's was nothing happen there. (Laughter.) I have another tournaments, you know. I celebrate another tournaments then. It's okay.

Q. Do you think the people of Russia will celebrate?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: I don't think so. It's not like football. Not really. In soccer, yes, everybody go in the street drinking. But I don't think so if I win Grand Slam everybody start to drink, all Russia. I don't think so. But it's Monday. It be Monday next day and everybody need work.

Q. Do you think you'll get a call from Marat Safin if you win?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: He's now in Argentina. How can I call him?

Q. You don't think he will call you if you win a Grand Slam?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Why if I see him in Davis Cup in Moscow?

Q. If you're in Russia, do people recognize you in the streets? Do they know you?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Sometimes looking me, and then not believe it's me. Because Russia, like people think about how he can walk on the street because always he driving car. Never you see, you know, really famous people just walking somewhere.

Like say if you go in, I don't know, like in the bath sitting somewhere, people watching you and go, No, it's can't be him. It's not normal. It's mentally Russian.

Q. When the girls won Grand Slam and Myskina won the French Open, Putin rung her up. Do you expect a call from Medvedev?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Call? He didn't know my mobile number. But he did already send me to Russian Federation after I won London. Yeah, that's was very nice, what he did.

Q. What did he do? Tell us what he did.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: What he did? Just congratulate me winning World Cup in London, blah, blah, blah. Just letter. Like he want to send to me in London, but he don't know which hotel I stay. That's was he send to Russian Federation. I hope I pick up now this letter if I go to Moscow.

Q. Is the tournament really beginning now?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Now tournament begin? Yeah, I'm already spend two weeks here.

Q. Is it getting tough, the real tournament is starting now?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Maybe. I don't know. We will see after Verdasco match. Just now we all top 10 players. Yeah, it's fourth round. Yeah, like I tell before, also difficult for me third round because very good player. Mostly everybody good player. Depends of me, how I play.

If I play well, I hope I have chance to win.

Q. If you had to marry another Russian tennis player, who would it be?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Marry?

Q. Get married, like husband and wife.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: If I married another tennis player? Man or woman? (Laughter.). I have already wife. I have my beautiful wife. I don't want to have any ‑‑

IRINA DAVYDENKO: I hear you.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: She's here.

Q. Sorry about that. (Laughter.)

Air Quotes: Aw, Come On, Irina. Give Him Some Babies.

Another gem from Kolya.  And the press is catching on.

Q. Would you love to write a book? Because you're an interesting figure, a great character.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Write a book? You mean a humor book? Tennis book? Action book? I don't know.

Q. Whatever.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: No, no, no. Maybe. Really, I don't know. I still play tennis. I don't know what I can do after if I continue tennis really. It's interesting.

I would like to go in business, but I don't want to lose my money also in the business. That's different decision and difficult what I can do.

Q. Why are you always talking about money every time?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Because we are Russian (smiling.) Russian always talking about money. And you know all Russian can get only cash, not like you guys, only credit cards also. But not always getting money.

In tennis, for us, it's most important winning and titles to get, you know. Because we have not so long career. Like if we play 10 years, in 10 years if you win some tournaments, you can tell your kids what you did.

Because, you know, if my kids asking, Papa, why you not working? What you doing now? I need to explain what I did, how was my life was before. That's was different situation. Not like normal people, you know, working and get to some job, and then kids can say in school about what's parents doing.

That's what's in my position is different now.

Q. Are you a vodka drinker?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yes.

Q. Is that where you get your strength from?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: No, I don't drink really. I don't drink so much because, you see, I'm skinny. I mix only. Sometimes I drink clear vodka, sometimes mixed with Red Bull. Little bit get power in night club or disco.

Because if I drink only vodka I go sleep straight. That's what's something change.

Q. If you retire and you explain to your children why you're not working anymore...

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: It's interesting. We're not talking about tennis. We're talking about my life. This is my first experience like this in the press (laughter.)

Q. If you explain that you don't have a Grand Slam victory in a tournament, would you be happy?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: I think so, yes. I just explain what I did, you know. It's not only think about Grand Slam. I did my job. I did my, you know, tennis career. Some guys didn't win anything, you know.

But also you can explain something. He beat somebody, you know, in top 10, or winning some great matches. I can explain I have now 20 titles. That's what's was I can explain Davis Cup win. That's something I can and something I can explain my kids. I hope I can. I hope I can have kids also in the futures. We'll see.

Q. Would you want to have them so they can still see you play?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Yes. No. Yes and no. Really, I would like have kids now, like Federer already two have, or Hewitt. You know, we have the same age. But my wife don't want to, you know, stay at home. She travel with me now.

At least now is important time. Now I'm top 10. She scared about if I start to, with kids, lose tennis and go down, stray. That's was because I start to miss and I want to go home. I don't want to practicing. That's what's is different.

Maybe for me is better for me be with my wife at this time, no kids. If I be out of top 10, maybe for sure. You know, for sure. But yet is difficult decision to be top 10 and something change.

But I like it maybe.

Q. She thinks you can win the tournament, your wife?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: She think always I can win everything. But not everything I can win.

Q. You said your wife says she thinks you can win every tournament you enter.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: That's because she's my wife.

Air Quotes: JJ The Not-Intimidator

 

Q. Looking to your next match, you either have pretty highly ranked seed or Niculescu, who beat you at Wimbledon.

KATIE O'BRIEN: I'm just looking forward to it, whoever it is. Probably will be Jankovic. It's something I really look forward to. Niculescu, I've have problems with her in the past. I'm actually hoping it's Jankovic.

Air Quotes: One Night In Kolya

The Kolya train is building steam.  He dropped only four games in his first round win today. 

He would continue his domination off-court.

Q. You are one of the favorites of the tournament. How do you deal with this? This year many players like Nadal or Murray thought Davydenko can win.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Oh, really? Surprising, you know, these guys start to talking about me, because maybe now. Before, if nobody talking, then nobody scare. Now it's everyone scare. That's what's is start to talking about me and favorites and everything.

But it's interesting feeling. Now I feel like I can beat everyone. That's was these guys now, you know, something feel different. Before no because I know I can win, but mostly I losing against these guys. But now I can beat everyone. It's good feeling.

...

Q. Do you enjoy scaring people?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Enjoy which people?

Q. Scaring everybody that you're scaring now.

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Oh, you mean... Yes, why not? Really, you know, if somebody scare of me, if I go on the court, it's very good. You know, then I have more confidence. If I don't feel by self good, I know everybody scare play against me, and I still have something, you know, feel I can win this match.

Q. This is a new feeling then?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Why new feeling? I have always the same feeling, but now little bit better. Little better feeling.

...

Q. Your win in the Masters, what has it changed for you?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Really nothing. Just I won $1 million. It's okay. Nothing special (laughter.)

Q. What did you do with all this money? Did you buy a house in Russia?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Not yet. Not yet. Some invest money. You know, if you win money, you need to make more money. That's what's I try to do. Not only with tennis make money. Something else. Some business also to do. Because with tennis you can't do this so much money.

That's was is very important after tennis what you can do and how you invest your money in what you do after.

Q. Did you buy something for your wife?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: Look, if I buy everything to my wife, how I can invest money?

...

Q. Do you notice anything about yourself, that you're playing better, anything that is better now?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: ...I want to be fast. I want to running fast. Like Del Potro tell me now I am like PlayStation 3 in London. Now I try to come level PlayStation 4, to be faster and faster.

...

Q. Since you won the Masters, are you more recognized in the street? Do you sign more autographs?

NIKOLAY DAVYDENKO: I hope not. Then is not so many like say celebrity guys. I am not Paris Hilton. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be like Nadal, Federer. These guys I never see by breakfast. They stay in the room and take room service.

For me better go downstairs, you know, take breakfast, or dinner to go somewhere, not to be so much famous.

Air Quotes: I'll Miss Your Pressers Most of All

Q. Was it a lack of match practice? You needed a few more matches perhaps to sharpen up?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: I mean, I don't really know what 'match practice' has to do with being up 4‑2, 15‑40 and not making a second serve return, so...

...

Q. How would you describe your sense of confidence right now?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Uhm, well, I'm leaving on Monday of the first week, so that explains a lot.

...

Q. Where is your level of disappointment, or do you just chalk it up, It's first round of a Grand Slam, that can happen first round of a slam?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: I mean, I could be disappointed or I could just take it as it is and just go back on the court and just keep working.

I choose option two (smiling).

Q. Why didn't you play any tournaments before?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: I never do. It's worked before.

Q. So do you go on and start thinking about Paris now?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: About Paris?

Q. About Paris.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Not yet. Are you saying I'm going to go on a clay court right now (smiling)? Wishful thinking.

Air Quotes: Are You Sure You're Not Thinking of Another Crazy-Eyed Russian?

          "I play Vera Dushevina next and she’s a good player and she’s been 
           ranked high before."
           -- Serena, claiming to know who Vera Dushevina is. I'm not convinced 
              she doesn't think she's playing Bepa tomorrow.

Air Quotes: Please Please Please Please Let This Be True

          “My duet with Novak Djokovic will be a part of a humanitarian 
           project aimed against drug addiction. I have already recorded 
           some parts of the song in a studio in Zagreb, and Novak will arrive 
           in Zagreb to finish recording as soon as he finds free time. Although 
           it is all fun, it will be a didactic song against drugs.” 
           -- Dr. Ivo, planning to go all Nancy Reagan with Nole

Air Quotes: So Obvious, And Yet So True

"The results will be what they are but right now my hope is to 

win everything. Because that's impossible you have to try to do 

what is possible in each tournament."

-- Rafa, just telling it like it is

Air Quotes: WTF Does That Even Mean?

“Part of the reason I lost to Bartoli in the semi-final was because I was scared to face Venus in the final.”

-- Justine, on being scared of Venus at Wimbledon.  Uh...welcome back.

Air Quotes: No, Lindsay

Fom Jezebel:

Lindsay Davenport, who is a friend of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says the media's "insinuation that [Elin] would be aggressive or attacking is just preposterous. ... She always handles herself with class."

Let's assume for a second that the situation was reversed and the allegations were that Tiger was aggressive and attacked Elin.  Lindsay's "insight" into the situation would sound pretty preposterous, no?  In fact, it would sound pretty damn ignorant and disgusting.

Air Quotes: 1-Up

''He's very fast. He plays like PlayStation.''

--Juan Martin del Potro, on Kolya The Hedgehog

Air Quotes: A Compliment, Federer Style

Oh, Fed.  Just when I had decided to lay off you for a while...

However, Federer believes he copes with opponents like Murray better than he did in his early days against men like Lleyton Hewitt and David Nalbandian. "I had a lot of trouble against those baseliners early on just because they were too consistent. They could always get one more ball back. Maybe they didn't have the best serve, but I wasn't the best return player, so I couldn't take advantage. My serve wasn't solid enough yet, so I would always get tangled up in those horrible baseline rallies.

"Murray can still do that to some degree, but when I play too well or too offensively I can take time away from him now. And I'm too physical, whereas in the beginning I couldn't do that. I couldn't get around backhands like I can now. Now I can mix up my game too well for him to get under my skin.

"I know what I can do and I know what he can do. When we both play well it's a close match, but I always feel it's the attacker who holds the key to success, so it's up to me whether I win or lose, not up to him. That's why I don't mind the match-up, to be honest.

"It's like when [Pete] Sampras and [Andre] Agassi played. Agassi was more aggressive [than most counter-attackers], but still Sampras held the key because he was serving, pushing the limits, taking the risks. Which Murray doesn't do so much – though that doesn't take anything away from Murray. That's just his game style.

Yes, as an attacking player the game is in your hands.  UNLESS the "defensive" player doesn't allow you to attack.  I'm not saying Fed is wrong.  But JESUS, it just sounds so offensive the way he chooses to phrase it.

Air Quotes: Aw, Little Kitty Grew Claws.

I wanted to come here. I wanted to play for my country. Other people choose different things. Some people I guess didn't want to play as badly as I did.

But I think that the team that we had here really wanted to be here. You don't want people here that don't want to be here. Even if you lose, if you give it everything you have, then that's the best you can do.

-- Melanie Oudin, on the privilege of Fed Cup...or something.

Air Quotes: Are You On It Right Now? You Can't Say No, You Wouldn't Know.

"I don't even know what crystal meth is so, you know, that's what my reaction to it is. I haven't read anything about Andre Agassi's book. All I know is that I have a book coming out."

-- Serena, on being asked for her thoughts on Andre's meth revelation.

Air Quotes: Three!

"You can tell how much we care about our sport and how passionate we are.  We didn't care who was there, whether it was one person or two."

-- Sveta, on the empty stands in Doha

Air Quotes: Diplomatic Immunity

"Serena is a terrific ambassador for our sport."

-- Stacey Allaster, in her statement congratulating Serena on her year-end #1 ranking.

Here's the thing Stacey.  I'm totally ok with moving on.  But if you're going to say crazy things like that, I have no choice.

Air Quotes: Beluga BackWatch

"It's under question the beginning of next year.  When I speak to the doctors it doesn't sound so nice. So it's possible that I might not be 100 percent fit for the Australian Open. Maybe I'll have to skip it.  At this stage my health is more important. Until I recover fully, until my back is recovered and I can feel that I have no pain, no fear, then I'll not play.  Definitely there is no surgery. It's just time. This is going to be a very long procedure."

-- Dina, on whether she'll be fit for 2010.

Air Quotes: See? Ana's So Nice Not Even The Pinata Will Rip On Her

“She has her own team. She tries her best. It’s hard. We are athletes. You can’t always be at the top of the game. Our years are long. It’s not like other sports, where you play for a few months then have a few months off. We always try to play our best tennis, but some years are better than others. That’s part of sport, part of life as well. We have a lot of ups and downs in both. It’s important to just be positive and always learn – to keep learning until you die.”

-- JJ's response to being asked about Ana's crap year.

Air Quotes: Pretty Is As Pretty Does

Q: Is that because you're not so good looking and keep looking 
outside the court which makes you put more focus on your tennis? 
And given a chance, would you like to be more good looking or keep 
your life going like this? 
NIKOLAI DAVYDENKO: Um, you know, if I be if I don't have wife, you 
know, maybe I can say, "Yeah, I disappoint I'm not maybe good 
looking," yeah, but really I have many girls can be in Russia. I don't 
know about China, but in Russia it's I still look good, like feeling 
comfortable, you know.

Air Quotes: The Way the Lord Intended

“Nothing, nothing, nothing is better than sex, it is what God created us to do,” 

   -- Novak Djokovic, comparing notes with Cristiano Ronaldo on
      whether sports are better than God's purpose for humanity

Air Quotes: Selective Memory

 

“I just played consistent for all the year."

Don't get me wrong, Serena deserves the ranking.  Just like Dinara deserved it.  But Serena, this could have all been avoided if you actually *did* play consistently all year.

Air Quotes: May I Suggest A Chocolate Peanut Cheesecake?

Q. You earned a lot of money today. How are you gonna use this? Are you gonna buy something to treat yourself?

JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO: No, maybe cheesecake for my birthday.

The whole presser is win.

Air Quotes: Yeah...Crazy Game...I Guess...

"Well, I mean, I don't know. It's unfortunate, I guess. But she foot faults at 15‑30, I hit one through the legs. How crazy, you know, tennis goes sometimes."

-- Fed on Serena-Gate.

Air Quotes: Lost In All This.

"I think Kim played a wonderful match, and I think I played good, too.  I think I could have played better, and I actually feel like I can go home and I can actually do better, which I'm really excited about. There's someone out there that makes me want to go home and makes me want to work out and makes me want to run and do better. I can't wait to do that.''

Air Quotes: Don't Trust A Ho

Q. You come from a small country. Wickmayer, too. Yet this afternoon she has 2,000 boyfriends. How many do you have in Denmark now?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: I don’t know. I haven’t read the newspapers in Denmark, but I’m sure they can find a boyfriend for me. (laughter.)

Q. And real boyfriends, how many do you have?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: I don’t have any real boyfriends right now, so ‑‑ and usually I keep to one (laughter.)

Air Quotes: American Idol

Q. And the most strange, most odd thing that’s happened during this whole run that was a little surprising to you?

MELANIE OUDIN: Well, I never thought that I’d play Maria Sharapova on Arthur Ashe Stadium at the US Open this year. Definitely did not see that coming. So that whole match, just getting to play her and beating her, I’ve never met her before, so shaking her hand after the match was the first time I met her. It was crazy. The whole thing, though, I loved it.

Q. We heard Roger Federer introduced himself to you. What was that like?

MELANIE OUDIN: It was really nice. His agent actually introduced us, and he told me congratulations. I was going to tell him congratulations too, and I totally forgot about that he just had, you know, twin girls and all that stuff. My mind just kind of froze getting to meet him.

He told me good job at Fed Cup and everything. He knew how I did here and everything. It was pretty cool getting to meet him.

Air Quotes: Get The KY Out...

Q. Is there one specific area, besides the mental game, but one thing that perhaps even you're surprised he's (Todd Martin) helped with?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: I don't think you can always ‑‑ you can ever get your game to the perfection, you know. Only if you're Federer. (laughter.)

Air Quotes: Bwah.

Q. After Melanie beat Jelena Jankovic in Wimbledon, Jelena Jankovic said she doesn't have many weapons and she wasn't too impressed.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Shocking. Shocking that she said that. 

Air Quotes: Shit, You're Awesome.

"That's for sure the thing that I don't want to make the decision to stop and then after two, six, eight months thinking, shit, I should have you know, it was not quite the time yet."

-- Momo, on retirement.  She says she'll reassess at the end of the season.  I would be really bummed if we didn't get a Momo farewell tour.  I think she deserves one and unlike *some* people, she'd really be moved by how much tennis fans love her.  I would love to see her get a standing ovation at RG or Wimbledon.  She deserves it.

Air Quotes: A Kit Kat For You, Momes.

"You know, it's a matter of being consistent at some point. Unfortunately or fortunately for you guys you have something to write about. She's more consistent than Serena throughout a period of one year. What else can I say? Or you change the ranking system. You just put the Grand Slams really, really high, like many, many points, like ten times more than the other tournaments which are still huge tournaments: Miami, Indian Wells. Those are huge tournaments. Then, okay, you put these tournaments in really back, way, way back, and then you say, Okay, Serena is number 1. Well, I mean, what can I do? What can I say? I saw that Dinara made the statement saying, 'Guys, I'm not making the ranking system. I'm sorry.' She almost has to apologize that she's number 1 now. Give her a break."

Air Quotes: And Marat Makes Me Cry

From his post-match presser:

Well, everybody is hard on her why she's No. 1. You have this contest issue, is she a real No. 1 or not? You open the page, she made eight double faults, 43 unforced errors. She struggled, almost lost to 18 years old.

Who cares? I mean, she's No. 1 in the world. I have to protect my sister. The poor girl, she's trying her best. She's doing really well. She gets the attention, but not the kind of attention that a person deserves, especially when you're No. 1 in the world.

Everybody is giving her hard time about, Are you really No. 1 in the world? Yes, yes, she's really No. 1 in the world. Go check on the ranking. She didn't do the ranking.

Apparently there is some guy who made the ranking. On this ranking, she's No. 1 in the world. Serena, she didn't say even though she won two Grand Slams this year, she's No. 2. Sorry, but that's the way. Deal with that.

I'm just personally, I'm really like, I have to protect her. I feel like she deserve a little bit more than what she's getting right now. I think she's playing you can't imagine how crazy she is about sport. I don't think there is one person in the world who is more professional than her.  Everybody is like hitting on her and giving her a hard time about this, how many, what happened to this serve, what happened this, what happened with that? Leave her alone. Give her a little bit less questions. So it's just all to you guys. Make her happy. That's it.