Forty Deuce

Air Quotes: WTF Does That Even Mean?

“Part of the reason I lost to Bartoli in the semi-final was because I was scared to face Venus in the final.”

-- Justine, on being scared of Venus at Wimbledon.  Uh...welcome back.

Air Quotes: No, Lindsay

Fom Jezebel:

Lindsay Davenport, who is a friend of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says the media's "insinuation that [Elin] would be aggressive or attacking is just preposterous. ... She always handles herself with class."

Let's assume for a second that the situation was reversed and the allegations were that Tiger was aggressive and attacked Elin.  Lindsay's "insight" into the situation would sound pretty preposterous, no?  In fact, it would sound pretty damn ignorant and disgusting.

Air Quotes: 1-Up

''He's very fast. He plays like PlayStation.''

--Juan Martin del Potro, on Kolya The Hedgehog

Air Quotes: A Compliment, Federer Style

Oh, Fed.  Just when I had decided to lay off you for a while...

However, Federer believes he copes with opponents like Murray better than he did in his early days against men like Lleyton Hewitt and David Nalbandian. "I had a lot of trouble against those baseliners early on just because they were too consistent. They could always get one more ball back. Maybe they didn't have the best serve, but I wasn't the best return player, so I couldn't take advantage. My serve wasn't solid enough yet, so I would always get tangled up in those horrible baseline rallies.

"Murray can still do that to some degree, but when I play too well or too offensively I can take time away from him now. And I'm too physical, whereas in the beginning I couldn't do that. I couldn't get around backhands like I can now. Now I can mix up my game too well for him to get under my skin.

"I know what I can do and I know what he can do. When we both play well it's a close match, but I always feel it's the attacker who holds the key to success, so it's up to me whether I win or lose, not up to him. That's why I don't mind the match-up, to be honest.

"It's like when [Pete] Sampras and [Andre] Agassi played. Agassi was more aggressive [than most counter-attackers], but still Sampras held the key because he was serving, pushing the limits, taking the risks. Which Murray doesn't do so much – though that doesn't take anything away from Murray. That's just his game style.

Yes, as an attacking player the game is in your hands.  UNLESS the "defensive" player doesn't allow you to attack.  I'm not saying Fed is wrong.  But JESUS, it just sounds so offensive the way he chooses to phrase it.

Air Quotes: Aw, Little Kitty Grew Claws.

I wanted to come here. I wanted to play for my country. Other people choose different things. Some people I guess didn't want to play as badly as I did.

But I think that the team that we had here really wanted to be here. You don't want people here that don't want to be here. Even if you lose, if you give it everything you have, then that's the best you can do.

-- Melanie Oudin, on the privilege of Fed Cup...or something.

Air Quotes: Are You On It Right Now? You Can't Say No, You Wouldn't Know.

"I don't even know what crystal meth is so, you know, that's what my reaction to it is. I haven't read anything about Andre Agassi's book. All I know is that I have a book coming out."

-- Serena, on being asked for her thoughts on Andre's meth revelation.

Air Quotes: Three!

"You can tell how much we care about our sport and how passionate we are.  We didn't care who was there, whether it was one person or two."

-- Sveta, on the empty stands in Doha

Air Quotes: Diplomatic Immunity

"Serena is a terrific ambassador for our sport."

-- Stacey Allaster, in her statement congratulating Serena on her year-end #1 ranking.

Here's the thing Stacey.  I'm totally ok with moving on.  But if you're going to say crazy things like that, I have no choice.

Air Quotes: Beluga BackWatch

"It's under question the beginning of next year.  When I speak to the doctors it doesn't sound so nice. So it's possible that I might not be 100 percent fit for the Australian Open. Maybe I'll have to skip it.  At this stage my health is more important. Until I recover fully, until my back is recovered and I can feel that I have no pain, no fear, then I'll not play.  Definitely there is no surgery. It's just time. This is going to be a very long procedure."

-- Dina, on whether she'll be fit for 2010.

Air Quotes: See? Ana's So Nice Not Even The Pinata Will Rip On Her

“She has her own team. She tries her best. It’s hard. We are athletes. You can’t always be at the top of the game. Our years are long. It’s not like other sports, where you play for a few months then have a few months off. We always try to play our best tennis, but some years are better than others. That’s part of sport, part of life as well. We have a lot of ups and downs in both. It’s important to just be positive and always learn – to keep learning until you die.”

-- JJ's response to being asked about Ana's crap year.

Air Quotes: Pretty Is As Pretty Does

Q: Is that because you're not so good looking and keep looking 
outside the court which makes you put more focus on your tennis? 
And given a chance, would you like to be more good looking or keep 
your life going like this? 
NIKOLAI DAVYDENKO: Um, you know, if I be if I don't have wife, you 
know, maybe I can say, "Yeah, I disappoint I'm not maybe good 
looking," yeah, but really I have many girls can be in Russia. I don't 
know about China, but in Russia it's I still look good, like feeling 
comfortable, you know.

Air Quotes: The Way the Lord Intended

“Nothing, nothing, nothing is better than sex, it is what God created us to do,” 

   -- Novak Djokovic, comparing notes with Cristiano Ronaldo on
      whether sports are better than God's purpose for humanity

Air Quotes: Selective Memory

 

“I just played consistent for all the year."

Don't get me wrong, Serena deserves the ranking.  Just like Dinara deserved it.  But Serena, this could have all been avoided if you actually *did* play consistently all year.

Air Quotes: May I Suggest A Chocolate Peanut Cheesecake?

Q. You earned a lot of money today. How are you gonna use this? Are you gonna buy something to treat yourself?

JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO: No, maybe cheesecake for my birthday.

The whole presser is win.

Air Quotes: Yeah...Crazy Game...I Guess...

"Well, I mean, I don't know. It's unfortunate, I guess. But she foot faults at 15‑30, I hit one through the legs. How crazy, you know, tennis goes sometimes."

-- Fed on Serena-Gate.

Air Quotes: Lost In All This.

"I think Kim played a wonderful match, and I think I played good, too.  I think I could have played better, and I actually feel like I can go home and I can actually do better, which I'm really excited about. There's someone out there that makes me want to go home and makes me want to work out and makes me want to run and do better. I can't wait to do that.''

Air Quotes: Don't Trust A Ho

Q. You come from a small country. Wickmayer, too. Yet this afternoon she has 2,000 boyfriends. How many do you have in Denmark now?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: I don’t know. I haven’t read the newspapers in Denmark, but I’m sure they can find a boyfriend for me. (laughter.)

Q. And real boyfriends, how many do you have?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: I don’t have any real boyfriends right now, so ‑‑ and usually I keep to one (laughter.)

Air Quotes: American Idol

Q. And the most strange, most odd thing that’s happened during this whole run that was a little surprising to you?

MELANIE OUDIN: Well, I never thought that I’d play Maria Sharapova on Arthur Ashe Stadium at the US Open this year. Definitely did not see that coming. So that whole match, just getting to play her and beating her, I’ve never met her before, so shaking her hand after the match was the first time I met her. It was crazy. The whole thing, though, I loved it.

Q. We heard Roger Federer introduced himself to you. What was that like?

MELANIE OUDIN: It was really nice. His agent actually introduced us, and he told me congratulations. I was going to tell him congratulations too, and I totally forgot about that he just had, you know, twin girls and all that stuff. My mind just kind of froze getting to meet him.

He told me good job at Fed Cup and everything. He knew how I did here and everything. It was pretty cool getting to meet him.

Air Quotes: Get The KY Out...

Q. Is there one specific area, besides the mental game, but one thing that perhaps even you're surprised he's (Todd Martin) helped with?

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: I don't think you can always ‑‑ you can ever get your game to the perfection, you know. Only if you're Federer. (laughter.)

Air Quotes: Bwah.

Q. After Melanie beat Jelena Jankovic in Wimbledon, Jelena Jankovic said she doesn't have many weapons and she wasn't too impressed.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Shocking. Shocking that she said that. 

Air Quotes: Shit, You're Awesome.

"That's for sure the thing that I don't want to make the decision to stop and then after two, six, eight months thinking, shit, I should have you know, it was not quite the time yet."

-- Momo, on retirement.  She says she'll reassess at the end of the season.  I would be really bummed if we didn't get a Momo farewell tour.  I think she deserves one and unlike *some* people, she'd really be moved by how much tennis fans love her.  I would love to see her get a standing ovation at RG or Wimbledon.  She deserves it.

Air Quotes: A Kit Kat For You, Momes.

"You know, it's a matter of being consistent at some point. Unfortunately or fortunately for you guys you have something to write about. She's more consistent than Serena throughout a period of one year. What else can I say? Or you change the ranking system. You just put the Grand Slams really, really high, like many, many points, like ten times more than the other tournaments which are still huge tournaments: Miami, Indian Wells. Those are huge tournaments. Then, okay, you put these tournaments in really back, way, way back, and then you say, Okay, Serena is number 1. Well, I mean, what can I do? What can I say? I saw that Dinara made the statement saying, 'Guys, I'm not making the ranking system. I'm sorry.' She almost has to apologize that she's number 1 now. Give her a break."

Air Quotes: And Marat Makes Me Cry

From his post-match presser:

Well, everybody is hard on her why she's No. 1. You have this contest issue, is she a real No. 1 or not? You open the page, she made eight double faults, 43 unforced errors. She struggled, almost lost to 18 years old.

Who cares? I mean, she's No. 1 in the world. I have to protect my sister. The poor girl, she's trying her best. She's doing really well. She gets the attention, but not the kind of attention that a person deserves, especially when you're No. 1 in the world.

Everybody is giving her hard time about, Are you really No. 1 in the world? Yes, yes, she's really No. 1 in the world. Go check on the ranking. She didn't do the ranking.

Apparently there is some guy who made the ranking. On this ranking, she's No. 1 in the world. Serena, she didn't say even though she won two Grand Slams this year, she's No. 2. Sorry, but that's the way. Deal with that.

I'm just personally, I'm really like, I have to protect her. I feel like she deserve a little bit more than what she's getting right now. I think she's playing you can't imagine how crazy she is about sport. I don't think there is one person in the world who is more professional than her.  Everybody is like hitting on her and giving her a hard time about this, how many, what happened to this serve, what happened this, what happened with that? Leave her alone. Give her a little bit less questions. So it's just all to you guys. Make her happy. That's it.

Air Quotes: Better Than That

Loved this quote from Masha from her post-match presser:

The amazing thing when I look back to being that young is I really didn't care who anybody was. I don't know. I certainly didn't watch a lot of TV. I actually didn't watch much tennis on TV. That's why when people ask me who was my hero growing up, I never really had one. I don't know why. I don't know if it was because I didn't get to watch so much on TV.

But I remember many big names coming to the academy and practicing. I wasn't overwhelmed by them. I admired them. I always wanted to watch them practice. But I wasn't sitting there with my mouth open and saying, Oh, my goodness, I want to be that person one day.

From this day on, when people tell me, like a girl or little boy comes up to me, say, We're so inspired by you, I want to be just like you. I always say, No, you want to be better than I am. You always want to be better. By no means am I perfect.

I think that's from when I was very young, I never thought anybody was perfect. I admired Hingis' quickness and the way she thought on the court, but I certainly didn't think she was perfect at everything. So I don't know.

Air Quotes: Me, Myself, and I

I don't care if the kid wins the whole thing or not.  I just don't want her losing because then there would be no more awesome pressers.  And the kid gives good presser.

Q. How did you feel when you looked over at your coach at times in the match presumably for support, and he had very negative body language?
DINARA SAFINA: Well, I guess I had to think what I'm doing wrong that he's so negative. (laughter.)

Q. Do you respond more to a negative approach or a positive?
DINARA SAFINA: We'll skip this answer.

...

Q. You've talked about it being a dream of yours for a long time to be the No. 1 player in the world, which you are, and also a dream to win a Grand Slam. What did you think about both of those things as this match was maybe, say, in the second set?
DINARA SAFINA: Well, if I would lose a match, it would be I lost to myself, you know. It's me, myself, and I playing on the court. (laughter.)

...

Q. Some other players and your countrywomen, Svetlana or Myskina have won Grand Slams, but not achieved as much as you have in the rankings. How do you rationalize that, or how do you feel about that, that discrepancy?
DINARA SAFINA: Well, I mean, Sveta was No. 2 in the world, and last year was also No. 2 in the world. They were close to get to No. 1.
I don't know. Now that I'm No. 1, I want a Grand Slam. There is no doubt for me. Like this is what is missing for me. I would like to win.
But I don't want to say like it has to happen. I know that I will work until the end of my career hard. When it's going to happen, I don't know. But I'm sure it will happen, because I've been very close to winning. I been in the three finals, so just one step. Sooner or later, I will have to make it.

...

Q. A lot of observers say that sometimes when a player has a really tough scare, when she's almost out of the tournament, sometimes that helps the player go on. Do you think that could be the case in this tournament?
DINARA SAFINA: I would take it like this, yeah. (laughter.)
Because in the French Open, I won all the matches 6 Love, 61. Did it help? Not really. So I mean, definitely it happens like this, like you pull the match somehow, like God knows. Like, I mean, God knows how I pulled it out. Not me. (laughter.)

...

Q. Do you have any advice from your brother inside your head?
DINARA SAFINA: No. Sometimes it's not easy to understand him. (laughter.)

Air Quotes: Like Father, Like Daughter

"I think she's playing great tennis.  I think she deserves to be no. 1. I'll tell ya something else, no one wants to play Sanowa, or whatever her name is. That girl hits that ball."

-- Richard Williams

Air Quotes: "Oh, Baby. I'm sorry, baby. Sometimes I just get so mad sometimes because I love you so much."

Q. Are you curious how the fans would welcome you this year after what happened last year?
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, look, I mean, this is past. What happened last year, the way I get it, to be honest, was like, I don't know, a fight with a girlfriend. Just a little fight with a girlfriend. These things happen. It was something that everybody can learn from it.
I always felt like at home here. I played so well last three years. I see no reason for me thinking about something that happened already.
So today was great. I just hope that the fans will behave nice, you know, in the next rounds.

Q. You're such a fun loving guy. You have a lot of personality. You became a fan favorite because of that. Did that have any effect on how you act or hold yourself anymore?
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: You mean?

Q. How you carry yourself.
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Well, I think every individual, every tennis player, is different. You can't compare me to somebody else. This is the way I am. This is my personality. I am trying to enjoy what I do on and off the court as much as I can, do some things, like impersonations, which a lot of people liked, and I was very glad for that.

They were asking actually today, the small kids when I was signing autographs, When are you going to do more impersonations? I just came to see that.
Well, I'm here a little bit to play tennis.
No, I don't care for that, just impersonations.
Okay. Maybe I'll think about it.

Air Quotes: She's Only Pimping Because We Ask, You Guys.

Choice quotage from Monday, all available at the USO site.  Here's hoping they start posting a more diverse set of players.  Sheesh.

Q. You were having some problems with your serve. Commentators started talking about serving in women's tennis. One of them said the person who serves best will win the tournament. Do you agree with that?

VENUS WILLIAMS: I don't know. I don't care what commentators say. So it's just all, you know, like they aren't on the court winning championships. I don't really... Yeah.

...
Q. You showed a lot of support for Gasquet when he was suspended. He says he appreciates that very much from you. Can you talk about the reason, what went through your mind? You showed so much support for him.

RAFAEL NADAL: The true is I support him a lot. First thing, because I believe in him. Second thing, because I think he's a very nice guy. I know him since 13 years old or 12 years old. I talk with him what happen. He told me he didn't take nothing. So I believe him 100%, and I think you know, it is open. I don't want to speak a lot about that and a lot of history is out about when I speak about that, but it's not 100% perfect sometime. If someone wants to kill you, somebody can kill you, you know? And you didn't do nothing. That's the true, no? That's my feeling what happened with Richard, and of course they say that, no? He won. In the beginning, it was three years, and then it was three years because he didn't take nothing. So I'm very happy for that, and I am sure a lot of players are very happy for Richard.
...

Q. Anything special about the jewelry you're wearing for this tournament?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, I'm wearing my whole collection from the Serena Williams, Signature Statement, which is available on HSN, which I'm really (laughter.) I'm sorry, but he asked, so...
I'm really excited about it because I love jewelry, and I think people really know me for jewelry. It will be available starting September 19.

Q. If you were writing the story about the 2009 US Open women's draw, what would be your lead?
SERENA WILLIAMS: Oh, what would be my lead? Are you trying to get this for your story? (laughter.)
Just making sure. Well, Serena's back where she belongs. 

...

THE MODERATOR: Roger today became the first player to win $50 million in prize money, just to let you know.
ROGER FEDERER: No need to write about that. (Laughter.)

...

Q. How did you injure your ear?
ANDY RODDICK: I have no idea. I have absolutely no idea.

Q. Come on, tell the truth.
ANDY RODDICK: No, I have no idea. I didn't go out there with it like that, I don't think. And then, I don't know, I saw like blood on my towel. I was looking around like this. No idea.

Q. Possible shaving accident?
ANDY RODDICK: No. My ears aren't actually that hairy.

Air Quotes: Like Father, Like Son

“In the confines of our home, he’d joke that he was a fashion guy,” Blake recalls of his father. “When he got dressed up for work, he’d look stylish. But when he went out to the golf course, he looked ridiculous. I think he did that more so we’d make fun of him and have a good time.”

(Source)

Air Quotes: Can Z Just Take This Guy Behind The Dumpsters?

Q. Now, earlier you said that you don’t set the rankings. That was your reaction to what Serena Williams said. But what were your thoughts about the fact that she did make those statements?

DINARA SAFINA: I don’t care. I don’t care. Really.

Air Quotes: I Can Link To It If You Want.

Q. After you won Wimbledon you spoke very entertainingly about the No. 1 ranking and what your thoughts were about it. After this summer with Dinara still at No. 1, what are your thoughts about the No. 1 ranking?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I don't talk about that anymore. I'm sorry.

Q. How come?
SERENA WILLIAMS: I've talked about it a lot, and if you want to read some answers that I said, you know, you can, but I think we should talk about something else. It's more exciting, more new.

Q. Do you have regrets about what you said after the Wimbledon victory?
SERENA WILLIAMS: What? I mean, I'm very excited to have won Wimbledon, Australia and this tournament last year, so I have no -- I don't live with regret. Do you? (laughter.)

Q. Sometimes.
SERENA WILLIAMS: I try not to. You shouldn't. (laughter.)

Any other questions that's not about No. 1?

(Source)

Air Quotes: Camping: It's In Tents!

"Oh, they're better now. All the players. Much better. Back in the day, Steffi was the only one actually playing tennis, and nobody else seemed to want to pick her game up to try to get to that level -  at least not until  Monica (Seles) came along. But then Serena and I came on pretty hard and running fast, and it was like everybody seemed to say, 'No, no no. . . you're not going to run all over us, we're going to do our best to do the same things you're doing'. So the overall level has gone up. These women today are better athletes. They're better trained, there's better knowledge out there in every area, and they're using it. Even down to things like physiclal therapy and fitness. I think if anything, it's gotten more intense."

-- Venus, on how today's players compare to the past.  Nice quotes from Venus in the article, though I had to chuckle at "Losing is my first - and last - wall."  Uh, Venus, that's sounds nice, but I don't think you understand what you're saying there.

Air Quotes: "Also, I didn't sleep well. And I nicked my forehead shaving. And they only had plain bagels. And..."

Missed this the first time around, but Blah after his loss to Consumption:

Q. How did you feel out there physically?

JAMES BLAKE: Not my best. A little bit of an upset stomach. I don't know if that's from the heat or nerves. I don't know what it's from, but had an upset stomach and didn't feel great. Actually got a lot better in the third set. Maybe because it cooled off, I don't know. But I was feeling okay after that.

My toe was reacting pretty well. That hopefully is not gonna be a concern at all at the Open. That's a positive to take from it.

Air Quotes: Snarkpova

"Yeah. I'm actually having a competition with myself to see how many errors and double faults I can make and still win the match in two sets. It's pretty interesting."

-- Masha, after her 17 double fault win over Bammer.

Air Quotes: Gold. Pure Gold.

Q. How disappointed are you right now?
DINARA SAFINA: Disaster. I'm really disappointed, but you know, big tournament is coming up in two weeks, so basically it's tough to forget now, but hopefully tomorrow will be better and get ready for the US Open.

Q. What happened with your serve today?
DINARA SAFINA: It's not the serve. It's just my brain. I know exactly what I have to do, but if I'm not using my brain, I'm not doing the things that my coach is telling me. Just too bad from my side and too disappointed with myself.
...

Q. You called your coach down before the third set and then halfway through the third set. What were you asking him to help you with?
DINARA SAFINA: How he can help me if I'm not doing anything. I have a game plan, I step on the court, and I do completely the opposite thing. 
Just for strategy even he left the court, because he says, It makes no sense that I'm sitting there, because you don't do the things. So better lose and do your things. At least you are moving forward. But when I'm telling you one thing and you do completely the opposite thing and you're losing, you're just moving backwards.

Air Quotes: The Anti-Rafa

Interesting stuff from the rumored-to-be-engaged Maratski:

Q. You've had your motivational ups and downs in your career. What do you think keeps someone like Federer so motivated all the time?

MARAT SAFIN: Being a fanatic.

Q. About what?

MARAT SAFIN: About tennis. In a nice way. I think you have to really love what you're doing. You have to love it and you have to be a very great competitor, otherwise there is no -- I cannot understand him.

Even though he's on top of his game, and the tournaments he's got, he wanted to be the best of all-time, so he achieve. Obviously he gonna go for it and try to win a couple more. He's playing great tennis and he enjoys it on the court.

He's a player. He's a real player deep inside of him.

Q. More than a lot of other people that are playing?

MARAT SAFIN: Well, he has more ability than others. Maybe a lot other players. Like Murray, he's a player. You can see that he knows what he's doing on the court and he knows exactly at what moment what's he gonna do, and he reads the point pretty well.

Same. They're pretty similar to each other. Federer probably he has a nicer technique, but the rest is very similar to each other.

Q. But Murray is young 20s and Roger is 28.

MARAT SAFIN: That is what I'm saying. They love to play and participate in the game. It's like they enjoy the moment. They enjoy being on the court.  Some people, they have more stress and they're not really enjoying and they're not really having fun in the tough moments.

But them, they enjoy it. The tougher it is -- like Nadal, for example. Same thing.

Q. Were you describing yourself as maybe someone that finds it sometimes stressful and doesn't enjoy those moments always?

MARAT SAFIN: Well, I'm not -- I don't like any sports. For example, I would not play soccer. I would not play hockey. Basketball I hate. I never watch any sports on TV. It's amazing, and I'm a tennis player.

But I don't like it, the competition. For example, if I have to play soccer against neighborhood, I will play for ten minutes and then I get bored. I'm not a player.

Q. How did you last this long at this level?

MARAT SAFIN: It's a miracle, huh? It's a miracle.

Air Quotes: Sing It, Sister.

Q. Question for Martina and also Monica, and then perhaps afterward Serena can comment. Just some general impressions on the current state of the women’s game with the historical perspective and things that you’re liking what you’re seeing and things you feel could be improved upon, how it is relative to the men’s game right now with Nadal and Federer, et cetera?

MARTINA NAVRATILOVA: I don’t think we need to compare men to women. I think women’s tennis has never been in better shape. We never know who’s going to be No. 1 at the end of the year. With the men it’s been a foregone conclusion until finally Nadal broke the mold last year.

I think women have been very entertaining and intriguing. Like I said, you don’t know who — we still don’t know who’s going to be No. 1 at the end of the year, and it’s just been changing hands so much.

You know, going into any Slam, any tournament, you don’t know who’s going to be at the end. I find it sort of double-dealing with sort of a double standard with — when Chris and I were dominating people, Oh, yeah, it’s always Chris and Martina in the finals. It’s like we always know who’s going to be there. Whereas with men, they have so much depth; you never know who’s going to win.

Now you have Nadal and Federer winning everything for five years, and women have been going back and forth, different No. 1s. Then it’s, Well, with men we have Federer and Nadal. They’re so great. But with women, nobody’s dominating.

It’s like you can’t have it both ways. So I find this double standard really annoying. Now with Kim coming back and playing so well last week, Sharapova is healthy hopefully playing again, we don’t know who’s going to win the US Open. We know who’s the favorite. She’s sitting right over there, but she’s got her work cut out. So I think women’s tennis is in great shape.

Air Quotes: No, I Meant Can You Tell Us Anything About Your Book That We *Don't* Know.

Q. Serena, I have a question about your book. Is there anything in the book that you can tell us about now before it comes out? Anything we don’t know about you that we’ll find out in the book? And also, why did you decide to write a book now?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Wow. I can tell you so much. You’ll learn that I was — being the youngest child, I kind of always got my way and I was a brat, and so when I was writing the book I didn’t realize how bratty and awful I was.

So it’s actually really funny to see as a six- or seven-year-old all the terrible things I did to Venus and all my sisters. I’m so embarrassed, because they reminded me of how awful I was. I was like, Oh, I’m sorry. I apologized to everyone; my sisters, that is.

Air Quotes: Belgian Love

Q. How far do you think she can go in her comeback?
DINARA SAFINA: Very far. It's the first tournament, and she beat already Bartoli who just won a tournament. She beat Svetlana who been in a good shape. I think she just need a few more tournaments to get the match rhythm, to get the tournament rhythm. That's all.
I mean, the game she has, and with picking up more tournaments, she will raise her level. Still maybe she doesn't know how we changed. After two years, she doesn't know how we hit the ball.
So play more times and practice more times with us. I mean, just give her three months and she'll be back.

Q. I remember that you played the last match against Justine Henin before she stopped. Now first match Kim coming back.
DINARA SAFINA: Okay, so next it's gonna be Justine coming back. (Laughter.)

Q. First you stop the comeback story of Kim.
DINARA SAFINA: Now I have to make Justine come back.

Q. Maybe.
DINARA SAFINA: I would love her to come back. For me, she was the greatest player. I really admire her. I was looking up to her a lot because of what she managed to do, how hard worker she was, and how mentally tough she was. I'm just -- I don't know, I really respect Justine a lot, and I love her game a lot.

Air Quotes: Hee. Sveta.

Q. What will you do now? Stay here for a few days or go straight to Toronto?
SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Is there time distance between here in Toronto?

Q. No.
SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: How far is the flight? You ask me questions, can I ask you questions? How far is the flight, two hours?

Q. Hour and a half.
SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Maybe I go after tomorrow. I was looking to this water park and this adventure, so maybe I go to check it out so I can have a little bit of a distraction.

Air Quotes: Inspiring Conquerors Everywhere

Q. You could face the world No. 1, Dinara Safina next. Have you put any thought into your next match and what it might be like to face her?

KIM CLIJSTERS: Dinara, like I said a few days ago in I think my first press conference here, I think she’s had the biggest impact on me when I was off, when I was not playing. I think I saw her obviously a few years ago, and I played her a couple times, I think.

She was also a girl who could hit the ball really well and had a good serve, but wasn’t the best mover out there and wasn’t the fittest girl. To look at her now, you can tell she’s in really good shape and that she’s worked on a lot of things, and also mentally I think she’s improved a lot.

Those were, I think — she was the biggest — to me, she had — yeah, I noticed her change the most out of any other player out there. It’s going to be tough. I mean, she’s had very consistent results.

And, yeah, I think she was always a girl who could hit the ball really deep and mix it up a little bit, good serve, comes in, good volleys. The movement was lacking, and now that she’s fitter and has lost some weight, I think that has helped her a lot, I think, on this part that was missing in the past.

Air Quotes: Sybille Who?

"I definitely wasn't as fit as I normally was.  I never played worse in my life. It was really a bad match. I think I had about 50 unforced errors.  I just did not play well at all. I hit balls in the bottom of the net and made so many unforced errors. Anyone could have beaten me today."

-- Serena, on her third round loss to Sybille Bammer.

Air Quotes: Does *Anyone* Like Mono?

From yesterday's presser:

Q. Big challenge [tomorrow], maybe [playing] Kim Clijsters.
PATTY SCHNYDER: Yeah, I don't know who I'm gonna pick tonight. It's a very tough one. I think for the first match after two years coming back it's Bartoli.

Q. But she is Belgian.
PATTY SCHNYDER: It's not that I hope that Bartoli wins.

Air Quotes: Marat Gets All Jason Stackhousey

From Marat's post-match presser:

Q.  Because after years when she wasn’t playing so well, are you enjoying it now?

MARAT SAFIN:  I’m enjoying it, but she ?? she’s a hard worker.  So for her, everything is like a battle.  She wants it.  She wants it badly.  She spends so much time on court.  I think she is more professional than all the players together.

So when she’s trying and she’s ?? nobody believed that she’s going to be No. 1 in the world.  Nobody believed that she going to be top 10 even two, three years ago.

So look where she is right now.  A lot of people they giving her trouble, okay, she’s No. 1 in the world but she never won a Grand Slam.

So it’s a little bit ?? it gets tough on her.  But she’s there.  She’s fighting.  She’s trying.  I’m really proud of her that she can stand, and I tell everybody to fuck off basically in every press conference.  I would do this way, but unfortunately she’s very polite to you guys.

But I’m really proud that she’s holding up herself even though that’s somebody can be really rough on her.  She’s there.  I hope she can be No. 1 for a long time so she can prove to everybody that they can go fuck themselves.

Q.  When she became No. 1 and joined you as the only brother/sister as No. 1, did you have a celebration together?

MARAT SAFIN:  We will.  I’m really proud.  I’m not proud of myself so much as I’m proud of my sister  because she’s ?? everybody spoke about me.  I know she’s the younger one.  I was No. 1 in the world, and everybody expected from her, well, we’ll see where she can get to.  And she made it.  She pulled through and became No. 1 in the world.

Well, she’s in ?? in every Grand Slam she’s in the semifinal.  She’s getting to the finals.  So it really makes me proud to have such a great sister, and I’m going to leave something, or our family will leave something in tennis.

Q.  Now that you stopped, what about coaching her?

MARAT SAFIN:  Oh, you want me to hang myself?  (laughter.)

Air Quotes: At Least He Admitted He Wanted It

"I'm realistic. I know I am not going to win (another title). There is no way.  It's getting tougher and tougher with each tournament. It really gets into you and it's not easy to play.  Every match is a battle. It's tough not to choke in the important moments. But I want to finish up in a right note. I should enjoy it more. I just want to finish up nice."

-- Marat, on how much fun his retirement tour has been.  More interesting quotes in the link.

Air Quotes: Iffy.

"I can't tell you if I'll be 100 percent for the U.S. Open.  It depends on many factors but clearly, I'll work as hard as I can try to be in condition there. But most of all, I want to make sure my knees respond well.  Once I know my knees will respond well, I can train well, I can compete with greater calm and that's what will give me, little by little, the confidence to train at the maximum level."

-- Rafa, on his health going into the US hardcourt swing.

Air Quotes: Stacey Allaster, Please Report To The Front Desk

(Pic from GoToTennis)

“Ranking is ranking. I didn’t do the ranking system.  If she (Williams) has some questions she can give those questions to the WTA, who is doing the ranking system.  It’s just the result of how you play the whole year, not just the four Grand Slams.  I’ve been playing the whole year and I’ve been having great results all through the Grand Slams. If she has some questions she can go to the WTA.”

-- Pathetic excuse for a tennis player Dinara Safina, telling Serena where she can stick her complaints about the #1 ranking. 

Air Quotes: Tired Already?

"In the third set I was physically drained and didn't have enough energy to finish the match."

-- JJ, after her quarterfinal loss to Mono. 

It has been well-documented that I can't stand the heat.  I complain when SF gets above 70 degrees.  That said, I was sitting comfortably in the stands during JJ's match in jeans, a long sleeve white t-shirt, and a black cotton vest.  Honey, if you're drained by a match against Mono, wherein the rallies lasted for an average of seven shots, in the arid 85 degree Palo Alto weather, you're in for a world of hurt during the US hardcourt season.

Air Quotes: Keep Them Claws Out

“I don’t know what to say. It looks like she’s playing every single week, more than anyone else. If she can play two tournaments in a week, she will do this.”

-- Lena D, on JJ's complaints that the Roadmap doesn't let her play everywhere she wants.

Air Quotes: STFU, James.

“To boo our fans is something I find unacceptable. . . To clap when I miss a first serve and things like that on a pretty consistent basis seems pretty hostile to me.”

-- Blah Blah Cry Baby, on the hostile Davis Cup atmosphere in Croatia.

Two words for you, asshole: