Forty Deuce

Bali Welcomes 90% of You.

 
Pretty sure Shahar's rockin' a flak vest under there.  Can't blame her.

The confusingly named Commonwealth Bank Tournament of Champions has kicked off in Bali.  I'm not sure anyone would describe Melinda Czink as a "Champion" per se, but whatever.  I'm tired, it's the end of the season, I'll go with it.

Here's your 12 woman field:

 

 

 

 

 

Vera is actually there as an alternate.  Sammy Stones and MJMS are also in the draw, though they were probably still on the boat from Doha.

Speaking of which, I'm craving a Pina Colada all of a sudden.  Not virgin.

Here are the groups:

GROUP A

Marion Bartoli

Shahar Peer

Magdelena Rybarikova

GROUP B

Samantha Stosur

Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez

Agnes Szavay

GROUP C

Yanina Wickmayer

Anabel Medina Garrigues

Kimiko Date Krumm

GROUP D

Sabine Lisicki

Melinda Czink
Aravane Rezai

The ladies will play Ring around the Robin, and the top player from each group will advance to the semis.

For more on how Indonesia knows how to throw a party, read this.

"Turn around Bright Eyes..."

Congrats to Agnes for beating Patty on her way to a title in Budapest. 
Here's hoping it's a sign of things to come.

Enjoy your Precious Moments cookie jar!

Pic This: Good Things *Did* Happen Today.

Here's the thing.  As much as it sucked that Rafa lost at least now we have an interesting tournament on the men's side.  I honestly have no idea how thing's are going to shake out.

Must be weird to actually have the Parisians on your side.


Kolya's got your balls.  Tough for Fer.  Really thought he'd make a run here.

 
Nice to see Muzz saluting his fallen Falcon friend and rocking the White Hat of Dorkitude. 
And looking hot in it, I might add.


Ruh roh.  Dina's beauty salon is open for business.  Kid's getting ready for her closeup.


Show me where the bad man touched you, Marin.


Well, Viko, have the lambs stopped screaming?


At first I thought this pic was stitched together.  Something about it looks surreal.


Nice to see Jay-Z still in the tourney, even if for dubs.  Lavender Jie has a calming effect on me.


You *should* hide your face, Agnes.  That was just sorry.

Bizarro Week Flummoxes Carrie: WTA Edition

Okay, so, it has to be done.  We all know it.  Think of it as ripping a Band-Aid off.  Do it fast and don't think about it anymore.  So, as fair warning, I will cover the matches in the following order, in what I think is the order that FDers would prefer to read about them.  This way, you can see the least offensive one first, and then if you want to comment, just click and scroll to the comment box without even looking at the other ones.  At least... that's how I'd do it.  So: Dina/Aravane, Masha/Nails, Domi/Agnes, and then... well, you know.  Just up front, I only saw Dina/Aravane and That Other One.

(I'm trying, y'all.  I am.  I don't know what to say about any of it either.)

Dinara d. Aravane: Yeah, this one still fits into Bizarro Week, IMO, because I still am not convinced that (Pavs match aside) Dinara's been playing all that well.  Today her serve percentage dipped and she had a negative winners/UE ratio.  Still, it's obviously impressive that she can play at maybe 70-80% and absolutely demolish people; it's been a good show and points to some real mental maturity on Dina's part.  Aravane tried to whack the ball around, but Dinara seemed content to put the ball in play and draw the errors from her, showing a patience that she didn't previously possess.  She said in her presser that she knows she can play better, and she thinks she will once she is really pushed by an opponent; she's an experienced (if inconsistent) competitor and seems quietly confident at this point.  Still, the possibility is out there that not having been challenged thus far will hurt her when she needs to step up-- presumably in the quarters against Azarenka, who's been plenty tested and come through.

Masha d. Nails: From the stats, this match looked kind of messy, and no wonder: the "Cow on Ice" who's still not really in match shape, vs. Nails, who is not exactly a clay court specialist herself.  But all credit to Maria-- even not being a fan, it's impossible not to admire her for gritting her way through this tournament.  It's not been easy, and it's not been pretty, but there it is.  Every time I think that she'll surely lose her next match, there she is, so I'm sure she could not possibly be happier with how her first Slam back has gone.

Speaking of not easy and not pretty... (Yes, people, I am handing you the "not easy" joke.  I know people need coping mechanisms.)

Domi d. Agnes: If Masha/Nails looked messy from the stats, this one looked like an absolute disaster.  A combined total of 66 UE and only 17 winners?  Ouch.  Without seeing it, all there is to be said is that they both must have been nervous wrecks.  And of course Agnes having a post-big match letdown is nothing new.  Anyway, not a trainwreck anyone wants to stare at for long.  Moving on...

Yeah.  Sorry.

Vika d. Ana: Vika played well, especially in the first set and a half.  Her serve percentage was somewhere in the low 80s, which is obviously excellent.  But the major story was that Ana looked terrified.  Despite her impressive play in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, today she looked as if-- once matched against an opponent who was a real threat-- she had absolutely no belief that she could control the match.  She had some spots of good play, particularly in the first half of the first set and the last half of the second, and there were some excellent rallies in those portions of the match.  But mostly, she looked scared.  Tentative shotmaking, overhitting, that toss... it's heartbreaking to watch an athlete who's obviously battling herself as much or more than she's battling her opponent, and that's what Ana looked like today.  As for the reports of neck pain and dizzyness, hopefully it's nothing serious and can be taken care of relatively quickly.  

See?  Not so bad.  I hope.  And now it's done.  Move along, everyone.

Pic This: So What'd I Miss During My 72 Hour All Nighter?

It's a good day to be Agnes.


We get it.  You're *so* pretty.  Stop.


Something about Pavs is very Mini-Dina.  I can't stop lolling.


Suspect.


Jesus!!!


Devil. 

They are often dressed the same.  Some might argue they have the same sponsor.

Yeah, wrap you little heads around that one, kiddies.  Suck it, C.S. Lewis!


"Pass the dutchie 'round the left hand side, Pass the dutchie on the left hand side."


Show off.


Man.  The 'coon eyes need to go.


Oh, look at you pounding on your heart.  I just want to give you a noogie.


Ana.  Tongue.  Wrinkly Sausage Finger Man Hands. 

You're welcome, boys.


Masha/Dina semis?  Masha/Ana semis?  The world is your oyster.


Gilles Simon: The Daniela Hantuchova of the ATP.  Wear some bike shorts or something. 


I want to go to there.  Minus the RogerSex.  But otherwise, YES.


I'm going to pretend that's Mo in the chair.  Because that makes it 700,000% awesomer.


Never Forget.

You Saw It Coming, Right?

Well, well, well...

... look who's back!

I have to say that I was not surprised at all that Agnes took Venus out, even though due to my intense sports superstition I was too afraid to actually contemplate that possibility in my mind beforehand, much less say it out loud anywhere.  But I don't see how this can actually be that big a surprise to anyone-- Venus had gone 3 sets in her first two matches, Agnes was winning easily.  Venus, due to some bad luck with scheduling, was playing every day; Agnes, presumably, was well-rested and has been rounding back into form for awhile.  Add in that clay is Venus's weakest surface, and this was obviously going to be Agnes's best chance to take her down.  

Oh well, Venus.  You defended your points and I read somewhere that every time you've gone out in the 3rd round of RG, you've followed it up by winning Wimbledon.  See you at SW19!

Agnes's opponent in the 4th round will be Dominika Cibulkova, who's also been moving solidly and quietly through the draw.  That could be an interesting match.  Ah, so happy to see Agnes playing well again.  One final thought...

... you and your doubles partner with the PDAs.  Calm that shit down, girls.

Pic This: It Finally Gets Interesting

Get ready, Paris.  If you hated Shrieka, you're going to hate this one.

Disco Cone won a match!  And gave an awesome presser to boot.

...

...

...

I'm sorry.  What were we talking about?  My mind wandered.

Uh.  Ok.

Yes, we can smell what Marat is cooking.  And it smells like a big pile of bullshit.

I don't know why I thought Jay-Z would do well here. 

It's ok, Purple One.  Go get ready for Wimbly.

Le sigh.  Love you.

I look through a lot of tennis pictures everyday.  And the reality is that these players are so technically sound that it becomes rare that you see an action shot of a player that looks new. 

This one looked new.  Her face isn't all contorted, she's balanced, and she's statuesque. 

Love it.

Agnes rockin the punk Fila dress.  She won!  I can't really explain my affinity for Agnes. But I'm really happy she's winning again.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'...

I really kind of meant it in a "lookit all those straight set wins" kind of way, but then I found this...

... and this...

Ha.

That, of course, is the pride of Great Britain, taking a dive on his way to a tough 4-set victory over Potito Starace.  It's a good sign that he could tough out a win on a surface he's clearly uncomfortable on, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that RG 2009 is not where Muzz is going to have his Grand Slam breakthrough.  His next match, where he'll face either F-Lo or Tipsy, could be a real struggle for him.

Back to all those straight setters... Nando, Gilly, Marin, Gonzo and Victor Hanescu (okay...) are all through to the third round in straight sets.  Nando, Gilly, Gonzo and Marin had almost absurdly easy times of it out there, with Gilly in particular picking up speed as the match progressed.  Good for him, it would be great for him to be able to turn around his season a little at his home Slam.  Arnaud Clement, C-Roch and Nico Almagro are through in 4, the latter meaning that-- of course-- we must say goodbye to Ernie.  Oh Ernie.

On the women's side, Kristina Barrois is gunning for my personal "least favourite person" award for failing to take out Vika, even after being up two breaks in the first.  Oh well.  Agnes had an impressive 0 and 2 win over Lena V and Nails also had a competent win (1 and 4) over Timea Bacsinszky (known to me as the only player who wears more makeup than JJ).  The Cone managed to finish off her match from yesterday in 2, so good for her.  Pavs is also through, headband and all, in two sets over Julie Coin.

(Sorry for the rushed, picture-free quality of this post; I've got my goddaughter the rest of the day and somehow her mother didn't think "watch TV with Aunt Carrie" was the best idea for an activity.  Bummer.)

The WTA: Expect The Unexpected

Solid results all around for the ladies today, though not without drama.  Dina bageled Lucie in the first only to have to come from a break down in the third to get through.  Agnes held her nerve against a gimpy Vika to come back and eventually convert one of the many match points she had in the third (she was up 5-0).  Joining Agnes as a surprise quarterfinalist is A-Bond, who served up a bagel, weathered the Chakky storm in the second, and closed it out in the third, 63. 

Meanwhile, JJ and Boots are quietly making their way through the draw with straight set wins.  The win boosts Boots into the top 10 for the first time.

Singles - Third Round
(1) Dinara Safina (RUS) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 60 46 63
(4) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. (Q) Elena Vesnina (RUS) 62 62
Agnes Szavay (HUN) d. (7) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) 46 62 62
(9) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 62 62
Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 60 26 63

Doubles - Quarterfinals
(1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) d. (5) Llagostera Vives/Martinez Sanchez (ESP/ESP) 64 64
(3) Peschke/Raymond (CZE/USA) d. Hsieh/Husarova (TPE/SVK) 63 60
(4) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) d. (7) Hantuchova/Sugiyama (SVK/JPN) 75 64
Chuang/Mirza (TPE/IND) d. Azarenka/Vesnina (BLR/RUS) 20 ret. (Azarenka: left knee injury)

"Joy To The World, All The Boys And Girls..."

It's not even just that Viko lost.  It's that Agnes was the one who beat her, 46 62 62.  Agnes of my one and only "WIUW" post on FD.  Good for you, Glen Coco.  YOU GO, Glen Coco!!!

I love how serene she looks in all her pics.  It makes it more badass.  Unlike...some people.

World War III. Of Course JJ's Involved.

Uh...where's Venus?

The JB Group Classic exhibition is set to officially kick off on Wednesday with Team Russia vs. Team Asia/Pacific and Team Americas vs. Team Europe.

But before the official start of the exo, the "Stars of Tomorrow" (no pressure) played two exhibition matches.  Coco Vandeweghe beat the Burrito in three sets, 36 63 64, and Zhang Lin beat Alexandra Panova, 57 63 10-8.  Nice win for CoCo.

More pics from the players' gathering:

Note to JJ.  Never EVER turn your back on Chakky.  She will cut you.  And then seduce the PI she hires to investigate your murder.


I kinda want to see a knife fight between these two. 

Zheng Jie is adorable.  I just want to pick her up and put her in my pocket.  I do not want to do the same with JJ.  If I did put her in my pocket she would probably disintegrate into a handful of glitter.  And that shit is a pain to clean out of your pockets.

Future stars?  Pavlova looks like Nads' cuter kid sister.

Will Russia Roll In Hong Kong?

Here are the details for the JB Group Classic, which is set to take place in Hong Kong on January 7-10:

Global Team Event headed up by Stars – Jankovic, Sharapova, Williams & Zheng Jie

(Hong Kong, November 27th, 2008) Organisers announced today a star-studded line up to take part in the J B • GROUP Classic 2009, a World Team Challenge.
 
The Hong Kong Tennis Patrons’ Association (HKTPA) recently created a new concept for their January Event. The J B • GROUP Classic will feature teams from four regions of the globe, Team Europe, Team Russia, Team Americas and Team Asia Pacific. There are 3 players to each team and full details of each team and the format were announced today.
 
Team Europe
Jelena Jankovic (Serbia) – World No. 1
Agnes Szavay (Hungary) – China Open Champion 2007
Michelle Larcher De Brito (Portugal) – Portuguese No. 1

Team Russia
Maria Sharapova (Russia) – Australian Open Champion 2008
Vera Zvonareva (Russia) – World No. 7
Alexandra Panova (Russia) – Star of the Future

Team Americas
Venus Williams (USA) – Wimbledon Champion 2008
Gisela Dulko (Argentina) – South American No. 1
Coco Vandeweghe (USA) – US Open Junior Champion 2008
    
Team Asia Pacific
Zheng Jie (China) – Wimbledon Semi finalist 2008
Sania Mirza (India) –Indian No. 1
Zhang Ling (Hong Kong) – Hong Kong No. 1

The Hong Kong Tennis Patrons’ Association released details of the Tournament Format and Draw for the J B • GROUP Classic 2009 World Team Challenge.
 
The Semi Finals
Team Russia play Team Asia Pacific 
AND
Team Americas play Team Europe
 
Each semi final will consist of 2 singles matches and 1 doubles match. Winners of the two semi finals go into the J B Gold Group Final and Losers go into the J B Silver Group Final where they will play to determine the Champions of both groups.
 
In the J B Gold Group, the winners of the J B • GROUP Classic 2009 will be determined by a round of 5 matches consisting of 4 singles matches and a doubles match, just like the Davis or Federation Cups.

That's a damn strong Russian team.  They should steamroll Asia into the final.

The most intriguing match-up?  Venus/Coco vs. JJ/Burrito.  That should be a fun one to watch if only for JJ's reaction upon hearing Burrito's epic squeal/grunt/scream.  I can hear her in my head saying "Oh my God.  You gotta be kidding me.  What the hell is that?"

UPDATED -- Pic This: "High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, lay odl lay odl lay hee hoo"

UPDATED: More from the Linz Player Party

Tammy and Tamira (apparently Tamira has decided to embrace her Austrian citizenship.  At least for today.)

Agnes and Nads (EEK!)

Mono (apparently dressed as the sacraficial virgin)

Agi (anyone get the sense that Agi's got some anger issues to work out?)

Ana and Tamira (aww...no hard feelings)

(Updated pics courtesy of itzhak at TennisForum)

Baby Elephant Forgets The ONE Rule of Packing: Jersey. No Silk.

Yay!  Pictures from the Tokyo Players' Press Conference Extravaganza!  Is it just me or should the WTA should out a memo to players telling them EXACTLY what the dress code is.  I mean, Ana, Dinara, and Lena look like they're going to a cocktail party, Ai Sugiyama looks like she's going to a business meeting, Dani and JJ look like they're in St. Bartz, Momo, Domi, and Agnez look like they're going to the mall, Francesca Schiavone looks like she's going to a concert, and Na Li is wearing army capris. 

I find Ana's attempts to dress up adorable because she clearly has no idea what she's doing.  It's so relatable.

Oh, honey.  You so need a Best Gay.  Because here's what my Best Gay would say: "Oh my gosh.  What.  Are.  You.  Thinking?  You cannot pack a silk dress and then put it on without steaming it first!  And don't tell me you "steamed it" by hanging it in the bathroom while the shower was running.  Because that shit is a LIE.  It doesn't work.  And honey, if you're going to wear heels, you need to OWN IT.  Don't fucking slouch down like you're embarrassed you're so tall and hot.  It's not your fault they decided to put some midget next to you.  Augh!  I don't even know why I'm friends with you.  Sometimes, it's embarrassing!  Cute Prada clutch though!"

Don't worry, Ana.  You're not the only one to suffer the Silk Faux Pas last week:

So you're in good company.

Uh, this picture is AMAZING.  Why?  Ok, I do this all the time.  I'll be dressed up for a wedding or something and I'll just be sitting there minding my own business, zoning off on some random thought, and without thinking, I relax, slouch down a bit, and then RELAX MY ABS SO THAT MY GUT IS TOTALLY HANGING OUT.  Because yes, I (and apparently Ana) have to think about it to make sure my gut doesn't hang out.  I have said it once and I will say it again: BABY ELEPHANT RULES!!!

AI and Company sharing what looks like a very genuine laugh about something.  You know, for someone who is French and therefore ostensibly up to date (whether she likes it or not) on fashion trends, the fact that Momo still wears a scrunchy baffles me. 

But honestly, everyone looked pretty good:

When will the WTA learn?  You put MaKiri in the front row.  It doesn't matter what her ranking is, it doesn't matter how successful she is, it doesn't matter if she's even there to play.  Front Row.  Always.  Come on!

How many elephants can you fit in a Peugeot? What if they're Baby Elephants?

Baby Elephant just keeps getting cuter and more awesomer.  From Forbes Auto:

Tennis star Ana Ivanovic doesn't have much time to drive, but that hasn't stopped Verano, the Serbian distributor of French automaker Peugeot, from sponsoring her.

"Actually, my current car is the only one I've ever owned. I only passed my test two years ago," says the 20-year old Serb of the 2007 Peugeot 207 she got as part of the endorsement deal.

Ivanovic spends most of the year traveling to tournaments, where she's whisked from place to place by a hired driver. When not on tour, she relishes every opportunity to get behind the wheel.

"For me it's relaxing to just go out in my car and drive for an hour or so," Ivanovic says. "At home in Switzerland there is beautiful countryside, and it's the same in Belgrade. When I visit my family I sometimes drive near the rivers."

Ivanovic is the top-ranked player on the WTA Tour. She's the ninth highest paid pro tennis player, according to Forbes.com's latest ranking of Tennis' Top Paid Stars, having pulled in $8 million in prize money and sponsorship fees over the past 12 months.

This is Baby Elephant's car:


I actually love small compact cars that look like European rally cars, so I dig the Peugeot.  But seriously, where do I begin.

She is 6'1''.  How the hail does she fit into that thing and toodle around in it.  Just the thought of her all folded up cruising the Swiss countryside is making me laugh uncontrollably.

According to Motor Trend, the Peugeot 207 is a subcompact, which is the equivalent to a Honda Fit or Toyota Yaris, both sold in the States.  She is one of the top 10 grossing female athletes according to Forbes, and this is her car?  How AWESOME is that?  That's like when I found out that Helen Hunt, back in her Mad About You days, drove a Volvo.  It's just so practical and down to earth of her.  I have a lot of friends who live in San Francisco and make 7 figure salaries who drive beat up Hondas and old Toyota Camries because they travel too much to make it practical to own a nice car.  I find that quite admirable, especially in today's keeping up with the Joneses society.

Anyway, good on Ana.  I didn't think you could go up in my book but you just did.  And here's hoping that Peugeot springs for a convertible model next.  Because seriously, it's adorable!

Other tennis players' cars according to the article:

• James Blake: 07 Lincoln Navigator, 07 Porsche 911 Turbo, and 04 Cadillac Escalade
• Jelena Jankovic: 08 Porsche 911, eyeing an Aston Martin
• Agnes Szavay: Audi A3 Cabriolet 2.0 TDI
• Maria Sharapova: Land Rover Supercharged
• Daniela Hantuchova: 02 Porsche Boxster, 05 Land Rover Range Rover, 08 Porsche Cayenne
• Robby Ginepri: 03 Cadillac Escalade, 06 BMW M6
• Tommy Robredo: 07 Mercedes Benz ML500
• Nadia Petrova: 08 Porsche Cayenne
  

Putting the "Bad" in Bad Gastein.

Sigh.  Oh well. 

Top seed Agnez Szavay lost yesterday to Pauline Parmentier in the quarterfinals of Bad Gastein.  Third seed Caroline Wozniaki was also upset by Mariya Koryttseva.  Looks like Caro will have to wait a while to get her first title.

In other news, Marion Bartoli is looking fitter than when I saw at Indian Wells.  That fitness showed in her easy win over A Chak at Stanford last night.  Serena easily dispatched Peppermint Patty Schnyder as well.  I'm looking forward to a Bartoli/ReRe final.

On the men's side, all four top seeds (Blake, Simon, Querrey, Tursonov) have made the semis in Indianapolis.  I'm watching the Querrey/Simon semi right now and I must say that Gilles Simon may be the most unknown top 25 player on the men's side.  I have never seen this dude play and he reminds me of JJ.  He has a crappy serve, runs everything down, and has no kill shot.

WIUW: Agnes Szavay

The 2007 WTA Newcomer Award winner seems to be having an off year.  Sure, her ranking is fine, but for a player that used to be one of those "I hope she's not in my draw" threats she sure has lost her bite.  She shouldn't be losing to qualifiers or any players ranked out of the top 25.  Yet here's her list of losses for the year:

• Gold Coast: Fedak (LL)
• Australian Open: Makarova
• Paris Indoors: Chakvatadze
• Antwerp: Kleybanova (Q)
• Doha: Sugiyama
• Dubai Morigami
• Bangalore: Amanmuradova
• Miami: Vesnina
• Amelia Island: Davenport
• Charleston: Cornet
• Berlin: Ivanovic
• Rome: Errani
• Roland Garros: Kvitova
• Wimbledon: Zheng (WC)
• Budapest: Klepac

I can forgive the losses to Chakky, Cornet, Davenport, Ivanovic, and Zheng.  I saw the Chakky match and  Chakky was just better that day.  Cornet wasn't going to be denied on clay no matter what color it was and neither was Zheng on grass.  And when Lindsay's body isn't betraying her she can blast anyone off the court *coughAnacough*. 

The loss to Ana is tougher to get over because Ana played like absolute crap in Berlin and Agnes was up 6-1, 3-0 before letting Ana come back in the second set, the game was suspended for lack of light, and the next day Ana's forehand decided to make an appearance and she absolutely blitzed her off the court in the reconvened third set.

But come on. Sugiyama? Vesnina? Kvitova? Morigami? Fedak?  Klepac? These are the players that are dumping you out of tournaments early?

Hopefully she'll find her game on the hardcourts.  She's one of those players that should consistently make the QFs of every tournament and only lose to a top 10 player.  She doesn't play a high risk game so there's really no excuse.