Q: What qualifies you to pop off about tennis?
A: Absolutely nothing other than my love of the game, my ability to open up a web browser, and the fact that I'm literate. So basically the same qualifications that you have to read my blog.
Q: Why do you hate Jelena Jankovic so much? It's annoying.
A: I don't hate JJ. Quite the opposite in fact, I'm quite a fan. But if she's going to revel in her ridiculousness then I have every right to poke fun at said ridiculousness. In fact, it's my responsibility as both a fan and a blogger. Besides, ever since she got that #1 ranking she's been intolerable. She takes herself way too seriously. Someone has to take her down a few notches.
Q: You've never played professional tennis. How dare you question and mock the commitment level and effort that these players put forth? Have some respect! Also, what does irreverent mean?
A: Irreverent: (1) lacking proper respect or seriousness; (2) characterized by a lightly pert and exuberant quality; (3) godless. Thus, my coverage of tennis does not treat these players as if they are untouchables, it is disrespectful and lacks seriousness, and embodies a "lightly pert and exuberant quality", much like me. In my circle of friends, smack talking, ridiculing, and putting each other down is a sign of friendship and camaraderie. Those who can't take that end up falling out of the friend circle. If you can't handle the way I talk about your favorite players there are plenty other super-high quality tennis blogs out there that you can migrate to. No one's forcing you to hear my inane but lightly pert ramblings. But I would encourage you, nay, beseech you, to stick around and keep voicing your opinions and try your best to convince me that I'm wrong. My friends will tell you that every once in while, I will admit my error.
Q: Dude, what's your deal with Ana Ivanovic? Get off her jock already.
A: Pretty sure AI doesn't wear a jock but I shall answer your question anyway. I don't know, I just like her. She seems like a nice kid who's just trying to follow her dream. She has great sportsmanship, seems genuinely nice, doesn't take herself too seriously, and she couldn't hurt a fly. I find her to be a very rare type on the WTA tour. Also, people pick on her all the time and I get very protective of her. I don't know, it's weird.
Q: What's your agenda? Who are your favorite players?
A: Geez, what's with the conspiracy theory, Mel Gibson? My favorite players are Nole, Muzzard, Masha, Sam, and Ana. Outside of that, I generally root for Rafa, Ernie, Dani, and Dinara. I have come to appreciate Roger and the Williams Sisters, but I still wouldn't consider myself a fan. And of course I root for players that I think are super foxy: Marat, Mikhail Youzney, Paul Henri Matthieu, Gilles Simon, Janko Tipsarevic, Tsonga, and Ancic. The only players that I actively root against are Robin Soderling, Rainer Schuettler, Patty Schnyder, Mono Bartoli, and Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez.
Q: What's with the nicknames?
A: First of all, it's fun and I think it's a reminder to the people who read this blog that I'm a fan, not a reporter. Second, it keeps the tone of things light. Third, I spend a lot of time reading, talking, and writing about these players. I don't know them, I've met a few but I wouldn't call us friends, but the amount of time that I spend obsessing over their games, careers, and lives, does lend itself to a certain level of intimacy, as crazy-stalkerish as that sounds. As Dr. Carol Bruess, a professor at the University of St. Thomas has observed, "We underestimate the value of nicknames. Nicknames and other kinds of private language tend to function to bond individuals. Private language really reflects the intimacy of relationships." Geez, now that I read that it really does sound creepy.
Q: But how do I know who you're referring to?
A: Forty Deuce Dictionary. Read it, learn it, live it.
Q: How the hell do you keep this thing updated so frequently? Don't you have a day job?
A: Yes, I have a demanding day job that more often than not, turns into a night job. Luckily for you guys, I love tennis more than I love sleep and I am one of those weird creatures that only needs 4-6 hours of sleep. Per week.
Q: This site is really WTA heavy. WTF?
A: Quite a keen observation, Sherlock. In my opinion, there are tons of other sites that cover the ATP with much more depth and insight than I ever can. I am a WTA fan first and foremost. But aside from that, I think the ladies get a bad rap and I think the mainstream tennis media tends to give them short shrift. So it is my mission, to the extent that I can, to dig up all the random stuff about the WTA that I can in hopes of creating more WTA fans.
Q: How can you possibly hate Federer? He's the Greatest of All Time! And Swiss!
A: I don't hate Fed. I think my sometimes scathing comments can come across as hate but it's really not meant to. My comments are merely phrased a certain way in order to balance out the ridiculous Federer sycophants that seem to be everywhere. I really do think he's the GOAT. He plays beautiful, precise, measured tennis. Hell, how could he not, he's Swiss. But the only way I've ever been able to explain it is that I like my tennis to look difficult. I like it to look hard. I don't like it to look easy. Because when it looks easy I don't marvel at the skill involved, I, like most self-centered hipster yuppies, look inward and wonder what the hell is wrong with me that I can't do that. I know it's completely irrational, but that's how I feel. So basically Fed is bad for my self-esteem. So in the interest of self-preservation, I kinda hate him sometimes. But I don't really. But I do.
Q: You're a fascist. Why did my comment get deleted?
A: I've been called worse and I sleep just fine, thank you. See the comment rules here.
Q: Proper punctuation......LOLz1!11 U R a stoopid hobag...... Fuck you!!!!!!!!
A: Whitney Houston was clearly on crack. Seriously, who taught you that eight exclamation points was property punctuation? Look, I make the effort to post random tennis shit for your amusement at all hours of the day and I do actually take the time to read comments, though not all of them because some of you are just assholes I choose to ignore. The least you can do in return is hit a fucking shift key every once in a while and have proper internet decorum. I really don't think that's a lot to ask. And if it is you can always get all the same news at Tennis Forum.
Q: I see you're a lawyer. That's awesome! I'm thinking of going to law school, got any tips?
A: Dude, email me. I got lots.
Q: How do I email you?
A: Here you go: firstname.lastname@example.org. Go nuts.
Q: Are you on Facebook? How about Twitter?
A: Yup. Not sure why you want to follow me but knock yourself out. Go here.
Q: You know, you really come off like a bitch sometimes. You should watch it.
A: Well, you're coming off as an asshole right now, so why don't you watch it. Little do you know, I take being called a bitch as a compliment. Because to quote Tina Fey, "Bitches get shit done."
Q: Hey, your blog is cool. I have a cool product. Let's be cool together and let me put an ad on your site.
A: Uh, no. This site will never have an ad on it. I'm punk like that.
Q: Who the fuck are these people on your podcasts and why should I care what they think?
A: Jesus Christ, you're rude. The people on the podcasts, Brodie, Lexi, Christina, and Victoria, are all people I met through Forty Deuce who I am not proud to call friends. We all love tennis, we love talking about, and every once in a while, we record those conversations for your (and our) amusement. Occasionally my best friends, Steph and Kristin, join in on the fun. And that's all that it is. Fun.
Q: You're an absolute disgrace to the journalistic community. You should be ashamed of yourself.
A: Well, I am ashamed of myself but for entirely different and irrelevant reasons. See FAQ #6. I don't know how many times I can say that I'm not a journalist or a reporter. I'm a fan. Who loves tennis. Who writes a blog. That people read. Get over yourself.
Q: How did the blog start?
A: Wow! That's actually a nice question! I shall therefore respond in kind! Forty Deuce started because I got really really obsessed with tennis a few years ago but had no one to talk to. Steph, one of my best friends, got sick of every conversation we had being about tennis. So I started this site as a means of getting all the tennis stuff out of my system. I never thought anyone would actually read it. But to this day, that's all it is. My random thoughts about the goings-on in the tennis world. Nothing more, nothing less.