Bye, bye, bye.
So yeah. Basically, if you've ever won a Grand Slam and your name doesn't rhyme with "Movak" or "Terena", Canada wants absolutely nothing to do with you. They're all about equality and parity and shit, and basically they would like to treat their prize money like welfare. Um, that's fine? I guess? Not really.
It's almost (I'm being nice by using "almost" here) comical how ridiculous Toronto and Montreal have been this week. Andy Murray, being the amazing trendsetter that he is, kicked it off by losing rather pathetically on Monday, and he's been holding the door for everyone else since. Caroline, Kim, Vera, Petra, Frank, Masha, Rafa, Roger, Ana, JJ, Delpo, blah blah blah. All gone before you could say "poutine" (you should never say "poutine" because (a) it sounds dirty and (b) it is gross sorry).
Meanwhile, there have been lightbulbs falling from the sky, power outages that oddly, don't stop play but require Lynn Welch to scream and go horse (not cool!), Windows 95 failures (at least upgrade to XP, you guys), rain delays, crazy wind, and basically everything described in the book of Revelation except locusts. It's only a matter of time though. Locusts fucking love poutine. Look it up. It's science.
And so, tennis fans took to Twitter to vent their frustrations. We did it the only way we knew how: Laughing through the tears.
After the jump, my favorite #newrogerscupslogans. All credit to @linzsports, who kicked off the fun.
Great fun, everyone. Got a zinger? Feel free to tweet it with the hashtag or post in the comments.
