I have lots to say. I mean, obvs, right? I spent two fucking months living out of a suitcase, jumping from hostel to hostel, throwing up in random bathrooms throughout The Continent (caps=respect), getting rescued from a en fuego train in the Swiss Alps, and generally having the time of my life -- except the two weeks in Paris which sucked because Paris hates me and I hate Paris and it is mutual so it's fine. I met a slew of lovely people who took it upon themselves to make sure I never "went" to sleep so much as "fell" asleep, and I met a bunch of complete and utter fucktards, primarily at hostel bars, who taught me that I should basically never go to a hostel bar and that drunk lecherous men with yellow fever should just go away and form their own leper colony.
Oh, and I learned how to pitch a tent while wildly hungover in 95 degree heat. I mean, you guys. That's a fucking life skill you can't buy.
All that said, I have what we writers in the biz call "constipation". It's like so much happened and I'm trying to sort it out and until I do I can't really find the words. I also have what we alcoholics in the biz call "blackout memory", which is an oxymoron because if you blacked out, you have no memory. Which...makes sense because alcoholics are idiots. I mean, not really, but kinda. I say that only because I'm trying to reconstruct shit that happened from transit receipts, bruises, and notes scribbled on cocktail napkins. It is a harrowing walk down lack-of-memory lane.
So if it's ok with everyone (because apparently you all have very strong opinions about what I should write about, how and when I should write about it, and whether I should be writing anything at all because I'm a complete and utter bitch) it's going to take me some time to actually talk about everything. Because I really do want to but I want to do the Adventures (caps=respect) and You (ditto) justice. Most of you have been tremendously patient and understanding and I genuinely appreciate it. I'll try and make you proud.
So let's all take a deep breath, chill out, and Keep Calm and Andy On.
In the meantime, I'm going to just start posting random stuff in random order to see if I can't get the writing juices flowing. Which...ew.
(Pic: Buzzfeed)
