There came a point while I was watching Francesca drop that second set to JJ when I thought "I refuse to live in a world where Fabio Fognini goes deeper at Roland Garros than Fran. I REFUSE." But THIS FUCKING GUY.
Did you know that in Italy they call him "Fogna", which means "sewage"? And that he's proud of it? He and his team have shirts. This one is a piece.
For a recap of what happened in this hugely entertaining dumb-ass match, go here.
If Francesca Schiavone is Italian drama done right, Fabio Fognini is Italian drama done wrong. Or maybe not. If I were to compare him to a movie, he's the movie that absolutely sucks so hard that you find yourself screaming at the screen, openly mocking the actors and their line readings, pointing out all the flaws in the plot, and leave the movie theater pissed off that you just spent $12 bucks and spent two hours watching that putrid piece of shit that deign call itself "art".
But you can't deny you were entertained for those two hours. And that's what pisses you off even more. He's the Michael Bay of tennis.
So of course, after all that drama, after basically lying to the chair umpire in order to get a trainer on court to see you mid-game when your opponent is two points from the match (Fognini told Louise he was cramping, when the real reason he couldn't move is because he pulled a muscle), after getting so into Montanes' head he couldn't think straight (Montanes' brain had the biggest cramp of the day), and notching the win and soaking in the boos like only he could (I thought he was going to jizz his pants), the douchebag of course, OF COURSE, withdraws from his quarterfinal showdown against Nole.
This means that Nole will not be able to match Vilas' record of the longest-ever win streak (46) in Paris. It also means that Nole only needs one more win to clinch the #1 ranking and that win might have to come over Fed in the semis. Fed gets the winner of Ferrer/Gael, which was called for light last night and continues today with Gael 2-1 up on Daveed, but having twisted his ankle right before the match was suspended. Either way, both players will be taxed and there's a bit of debate over whether the four days off for Nole (the semi is on Friday) will hurt him. AUGH!
God help me of Fed beats Nole to end the streak, keep Nole at #2, and goes on to beat Rafa, who has looked sub-par almost all week. I will throw things into the Seine. Possibly myself.
(Pics: Getty)
