So last week this pterodactyl was walking across the Atlantic to go visit his best friend, a chickpea named Bob. Bob was crazy annoyed that Pterry was late (I mean, it only takes, what, 38 minutes to walk across the Atlantic?) so he called up his book club buddy, Larry the Lorax, to meet him at the Joe's Diner to go lingerie shopping. Larry was very excited and rushed over to the diner. In his haste, he drove his Hummer through a McDonald's, smushed a pill bug, took a shortcut over the Andes, made a quick pitstop in Hades, and was lucky enough to find a parking spot right in front of Joe's. As he stepped out of the car, Larry didn't see the puddle of radioactive waste oozing from the nuclear power plant that was built inside the diner's bathroom. Larry stepped into the waste, grew elephant tusks, and exploded into four pints of grape Jello.
And that's how a bill becomes a law.
That story I just told you? Let's just say it makes a hell of a lot more sense than what DYoung tried to pull on the USTA.
If, IF I understand it correctly, the USTA had one RG wildcard left. DYoung wanted it. So he asked for it. The USTA was like "uh...we have a tournament scheduled with players coming in to, you know, earn that last wildcard. So no." And then DYoung told them to fuck themselves, made some comment about their shit, and somehow tried to play the victim.
Of course, as is the thing with Twitter these days, he popped on again to say "Sorry I used the F word, but the sentiment remains", which...isn't an apology at all, and then, like the big boy that he is, he deleted his Twitter page. And we all know that people who say stupid things on Twitter thinking there won't be consequences, who subsequently deal with said consequences by deleting their Twitter pages, are all really classy pieces of work. We all know this.
And then, to add insult to idiocy, Ryan Harrison, who also didn't get a RG wildcard, comes out and says he wants to go through qualies and earn his main draw spot. I mean, OC ain't the poster boy for model behavior, but I couldn't help but laugh when I read that one. Tip of the cap to you, Harry. At a minimum that was a shrewd move.
Grow up, Donald. This is why you can't have nice things. Beating a slumping Andy Murray doesn't make you special. I mean, look at how many people are on that list! Being a grown-up means recognizing that the world ain't fair and you aren't always going to get what you think you deserve. Work your ass off and win matches, dude. That's how the big boys (and girls) do it.
UPDATED: RUH ROH. PMac is giving an interivew right now blasting DY.
Poor move, USTA. DY did a perfectly fine job turning the world against him with a single tweet. You guys getting together and organizing a blasting-by-conference-call response was totally unnecessary. DYoung has no power. The USTA has all the power. Let him dig his own grave. Responding just makes you look bad. Enjoy the backlash.
(Screencap: Down The Line)
