Forty Deuce

The Weakness In Me.

Well, the run is officially over for Petko, but what an amazing run it was.  On some level it was reminiscent of Sam's 2010 run at Roland Garros, taking out the #1 player and former #1 player in surprising fashion.  I might have let my imagination run a little bit and think that Petko's run would follow the same turn: take out yet another former #1 and then lose to a non-former #1 in the final. 

I don't think Masha liked that story.  And I'm pretty sure she didn't want to see that damn dance ever again.  Leave it to her to retire it for good.  Based on her presser comments, I'm thinking that dance was on her mind:

Q: She thought you would be tired in the third after the long match you had the previous night.  Didn't seem to be that way.

Sharapova: Because I didn't do the dance after.  I wasn't tired.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA.  HAH.  Haha.  Heh.

Petko came out firing on a windy day in Stadium Court, playing just like she had been practicing a few hours before.  She played steadily and let Maria make the early mistakes, which she seemed happy to do.  Whether it was the wind or concern over her ankle, Masha wasn't moving her feet to the ball, often finding herself either jammed or reaching.  Petko's steady play, it wasn't spectacular, just steady, got her the first set without too much drama, 6-3.

"I felt like I was just making a lot of errors in the first set and I wasn't moving my feet at all.  And especially with the wind I wasn't moving towards the ball and letting the ball come to me and not really being aggressive.  That's what's won me so many matches in my career is that I step in and I hit my strokes and they come deep.  I just wasn't doing that.

So first and foremost I felt like I had to start doing that and making little steps and adjusting my game a little bit."

Adjust she did.  This is Maria Motherfuckin' Sharapova (she doesn't actually fuck her mother, it's just a colorful turn of phrase us bloggers like to use).  She wasn't going down without a fight and you got the sense that if she would just step up her game, clean it up a little bit, she was right back in this.  Petko wasn't overpowering her.  Maria was just making mistakes. 

Well, she didn't just step it up a little bit.  She stepped it up a hell of a whole lot.

"In the second set, on one hand, I felt like Maria really stepped up her game; on the other hand, there were so many close games, deuce, advantage, advantage, so many breakpoints, game points, and I didn't manage to stay close to her.  All of a sudden, it was 3-0, 4-0, 5-0.  A champion like Maria goes with it and starts to play much better."

Andrea's right.  That was the weirdest 6-0 set I've seen in a long time.  It was six games that could have easily gone 3-3 or 6-0 the other way.  Masha finally started moving her feet and getting to the ball, attacking the lines with precision.  She also started to figure out Petko's serve.  As the set wore on, Petko started to feel the toll of her back-to-back three setters and the frustration of not being able to pull out any of those deuce games:

"By the end of the second set I was getting frustrated with myself because I felt my energy slowly slipping away.  Of course I'm in a semifinal and I want to win this, so it's a little dialog inside of you.  You're like, Come on, you can win this, but your body is like, No, I don't want to.

So, yeah, I was fighting with myself inside.  In the third set, as I said, my energy was slipping away.  A champion like Maria, she just feels kind of weakness, and she just played much, much better.  It was very tough for me to get inside the match. 

I was telling myself she also had a three-and-a-half hour match.  She must be feeling tired, too.  You're not the only one who's tired here, so come on, move your ass."

And Masha knew it. 

"More than anything, I sensed that she was tired -- probably a lot of the dancing that she's been doing -- and I took advantage of it."

SNOOOOOOOOOOOORT. 

Anyway, Petko was honest and gracious in her presser.  No shock there.  She was eager to point out that, basically, Masha's got that "thing" that separates her from the rest:

The thing is the top 10 players or champions, they just feel any kind of weakness that, even if you're not showing it or you think you're not showing it, they just feel it.  That's what makes them so much better.  So I really think she felt it and she went for and she exploited it....  I think that's the difference actually in the end between the Grand Slam champions and the other top 10 players maybe.

And she admitted that this was going hurt for a bit, though she didn't have to say anything.  Her red puffy eyes already gave her away:

"Right now I'm still a little disappointed, and I think I still -- I will feel empty the next two or three days trying to work things out.  But I think after a week maybe or so I will be able to look at it, at the positive things, and I think I will gain a lot of confidence from especially the two victories over Caroline and Jelena.  I think it was the next step for me, beating two top 10 in a row.  I showed some good tennis, you know, on peaks and points.  But if I really want to reach the goals I have set for myself, I need to keep up my consistency."

I raise my mass of Spaten Optimator and salute you, Petko.  She really did make my stint in Miami a lot of fun.  It was fun to sit in the back of the room and watch her charm the press corps.  But it was even more fun to see her gain a legion of fans on court with her tennis.  Death Cab for Cutie gettin' name-checked on The OC, you guys.  It's happening and I couldn't be more happy for her.  People need to know the Petko.

So have a cheeseburger and beer on me, dude!

Just tell them to put it on Forty's tab.

Oh, and Masha?  You better fucking win this whole goddamned thing.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

The Problem With Beings Is They Have Ankles.

While "the pros" were sitting in the shaded media seats watching Masha warm up from 100 yards away for her semifinal clash with Petko, I was sweating it out on Court 1 watching Petko warm up from up close.  Why in the world would this amateur skip watching Masha to go see Petko?  Because I trudged out to the practice courts yesterday, you know, the day after Masha endured a rough ankle sprain, to see her gingerly test out her ankle under the damn hot sun.  I don't recall seeing "the pros" at that practice session.  I clearly don't know the rules.

Had they been at that practice session, they would have seen a concerned Team Sharapova whispering about the ankle, applying tape, pulling off tape, pointing, prodding, etc. 

The ankle was definitely an issue and at least to this ignorant tennis fan, kind of a big story coming into this afternoon's match.  We all know Masha can go through sketchy bouts of play and she really had to rely on her fight to get past an on-fire Dulgheru on Tuesday night.  But we also know she can bounce back from a match like that and play lights out.  But if she's physically hampered?  The likelihood of a win over Petko, who is riding high on confidence and playing really well, takes a hit. 

The good news is that it looked like Masha came into the practice session with the ankle practically immobilized with two tape jobs, one on top of the other.  About 30 minutes into the session she went to the corner and removed one layer of tape.  So hopefully that means it wasn't as bad as they were suspecting. 

Of course, while Masha was fiddling with her ankle, Petko was on the next court over serving balls at Petar's ass:

"New motivation for body serve," Petar said.  We'll see how that works out.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

 

Please. Don't Let the Facts Get In The Way of Your Journalisming.

So Petko's blowing up.  We all know this.  Yesterday she got the Pete Bodo treatment.  Now, I know what a lot of you are thinking, but surprisingly, no, he did not describe her as being "strong like a Munich beer wench."

I know.  I was shocked, too. 

It was actually a very nice, positive take on Petko's refreshing personality.  Unfortunately, it's kinda totally factually wrong:

"Remember, Petkovic knocked out Venus Williams and Sharapova in back-to-back matches just a few months ago at the Australian Open."

Um.  No she didn't.  She was standing on the court when Venus screamed out in pain and retired from their match.  And yes, that's kind of a huge difference, especially when you're using these facts to pump up Petko's chances against Masha.  You know what would have been a better way to do that?  Maybe mentioning that Maria sprained her ankle pretty badly during her match with Dulgheru, a fact that for whatever reason, was left out. 

"Petkovic is only just making her move (her current ranking is 23), but that's partly because she chose to complete a university-level education in Germany before taking her chances on the pro tour. As the daughter of a teaching pro whose dreams of playing the tour were crushed, she not only understood the risks of trying to become a pro, she had them drilled into her. She practiced and played a bit while she was school, but didn't really fling herself into the tennis culture with the requisite commitment until around 2009."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  Where in the world did he get *this* origin story?  Let me break it down for you:

1. She never chose to pursue university instead of pro-tennis.
2. She did not and has not completed a university-level education in Germany.  She's still studying.
3. As she never went to university, she did not in fact "practice and play a bit while she was in school."
4. She *did* actually "fling herself into the tennis culture" before 2009.

How do I know this?  Because I actually asked her about it in Melbourne.  And I wrote it up.  I even fact-checked!  Like a real-live journalist!!!  Which Pete's supposed to be!!!

Like...how in the world did he even come up with that story?  If you go to the WTA website and look up Petko's profile, you can easily see with a few clicks of a mouse that she turned pro in 2006.  If you were to keep clicking through you'd see that she was playing tournaments every year.  How was she going to university at the same time?

So if the story is that she didn't "fling herself" into the tennis culture with the requisite commitment until 2009, wouldn't one want to ask why that was?  Well, if one were the curious blogging type, one could just look at Ms. Petkovic's Wikipedia page and see that she tore her ACL in 2008 and was off the court for eight months.  If one were to ask Ms. Petkovic actual investigative questions, one would have been told that in that eight months, she had to decide whether she still wanted to pursue a pro career or her studies. 

I mean, the way Monsieur Bodo writes it Petko never took tennis all that seriously, had her nose in a book and did keg stands for four years, and then decided, "You know what?  I'm going to try now."

That's not the story.  That's not even close to the story. 

Normally I would just let this shit go.  Errors aside, his piece is a nice write-up of how she's taken over Miami.  But if I have to sit on Twitter for a week as the established media publicly takes a shit on bloggers for deigning to be in their press room, calling us "fans with typewriters", then I'm going to start taking a closer look at the shit you write.  If you're so much better than me and think you deserve to be the authoritative voices of the tennis community, prove it.

I may be a fan with a typewriter, but at least my typewriter has an ethernet connection so I can, like, Google shit.

(Pic: Forty Deuce)

"E" Is for "Empty."

"Well, I kind of broke my racquet and then kind of cried a little bit.  (Smiling.)  And then I was okay."

Gosh.  Where do I start.  Deep breath.  Sorry if this is really long.  I just feel like a lot of people are curious as to what happened in this match and since no one could watch it and there weren't that many journalists courtside, I want to try and get it right.  I feel like I owe it to both players.  It was a great match.

Here we go.

While her doubles partner was on Stadium Court relying on her fitness to outlast JJ, Ana was wilting on Court 2 in a match that only the 2,500 people sitting courtside were able to watch.  It's a damn shame this match wasn't streamed.   I know Ana fans are carrying a heavy heart today, and if you're like me, that heavy heart feels more like a pit in your stomach this morning.  But if you were able to see the match, you'd have a sense of pride, too. 

She played well, you guys.  REALLY REALLY WELL.  For two and a half sets, Ana was absolutely flawless against Kim.  Sure, she dropped that first set 76(4) but the point count?  Kim: 37, Ana 36.  Kim wasn't at her best in this match, but at least in the first set she was on her B+ game, dictating with her forehand and running Ana corner to corner just to stay in rallies. For her part, Ana was serving well, repeatedly holding at love or 15. 

Uh oh, right?  I was ready for a 61 set for Kim after that.  The kid worked so hard in that first set, played at a high level, and still got nipped in the end.  Time for the inevitable letdown. 

But no.  She came out of the gate with an ace, saving a break point to hold and race to a 3-0 lead.  When she needed a big serve she usually got it, either with a service winner or short return that she put away with her forehand.  Not only was she playing remarkably well, but she was emotionally contained throughout.  There were no ajdes, there were no racquet swipes at the ground.  A few silent fistpumps to herself, turn around, and go again.  As Kim's level dipped just a tick, Ana ran away with it.  Next thing you knew, Ana had the second set 6-3.  No screams, no squeals.  Just a quiet fistpump to herself, a steely look to her box, and a purposeful walk to the chair.  It was so badass, which isn't a word I use to describe Ana, like, EVER.

"She was playing really well.  I mean, it's been a long time since I've seen her play like that: playing aggressive, serving well.  You know, she's tough to beat, so if she can keep that up..."

Kicking off the third set.  I had already made up my mind that I was happy no matter how it turned out.  I was really proud of Ana's performance here but I think we all knew that if Kim could pick up her level a little bit she'd find her way out of it.  Kim's A-game is better than Ana's A-game.  There was no reason to think Kim couldn't find her way back.

But sometimes I forget that as awesome as Kim is, she's still Kim.  She's prone to sudden dips of form that come out of nowhere.  Sure enough, she was pretty much crap for most of that third set.  Rolling backhands into the net, double faulting all over the place, and coming up with panicked shot-selection at the oddest times.  At one point she hit a backhand from the baseline that hit the strings but actually bounced twice before it hit the net.  It was nuts.  As Kim was falling apart, Ana maintained her level and built a 5-1 lead.

And that's when things got...interesting. 

First of all, you know how I was saying Ana was emotionally contained throughout the match?  Well after hitting a forehand winner to secure the 5-1 lead, she finally let it all out:

I was live-tweeting the match courtside and I think I was doing a pretty good job of not getting ahead of myself for much of the match.  But at 5-1, just like Ana, I let loose:

And there it is.  Two people on Court 2, one person on court, one person off-court, allowing themselves, even if for a brief moment, the indulgence to hope.  Hope.  Huh.  Where have I heard that word before.

Kim came out to serve at 1-5 and looked like she wanted to go home and play with Jada.  Through a slew of unforced errors, Ana found herself suddenly looking at 0-40, triple match point.  Then, all of a sudden, Kim decided to play tennis again.  She served those points really well and set up a series of one-two punch points that didn't give Ana a chance.  Kim would save four match points in that game to hold to 5-2. 

"I think because I've been on the tour for many years, you realize that you have to keep trying until the last point is played.  In tennis, that's sometimes probably the frustrating part about it.  But in my situation now, the good thing about it is that it's never over until that last shot is played.  And, again, you know, even if it's 5-1, Okay, you start a game 0-0.  She has to win four points.  So you just try to work your way into it.  And you do feel when your opponent starts to be a little less aggressive, starts to make a few more easier mistakes.  You see her look at the sideline a little bit more.  Those kind of things do -- I notice that, and I think that's what gave me a little bit of a, like, Ah, you know, maybe there is a little chance.

If she would have served a couple of aces and then hit some really good forehands, then, you know, too good.  But I was trying not to give it to her that easily.  I was trying to just try and go for that backhand, and she hit a couple of short ones.  Then I went for it on match point a couple times with my forehand."

I know a lot of people are going to want to say that Ana choked this match away.  I'm not saying that you're wrong, but I'm also not willing to completely buy into that take of the match either.  Kim really did play those 4 MPs well.  She won them. 

"You know, I just felt like I couldn't do much different.  She really served well and played well on those.  On my service games I didn't get any match points, and I do feel like I created chances.  But, you know, many times in 30-All or important points, she played really well and, you know, got lucky with a few lines.  Just really, really tough."

To the extent Ana choked, I think it was in her first chance to serve for the match at 5-2.  She played some *very* tentative tennis in that game and gave Kim the opportunity to take control of the rallies and run her ragged until she missed. 

"I think she got a little tentative towards the end to try and finish it off, and it gave me some chances to, you know, just stay in the match and try not to overplay, try not to make too many unforced errors."

Kim would break there and hold again (saving a MP) to 4-5.  It was clear at this point that she had decided to switch tactics.  For most of the match she was going for winners.  She was the aggressor, working to put away short balls.  That worked well in the first set, but she had been missing badly in the second and third.  Now, with the pressure on Ana, Kim backed off, choosing instead to play backboard to force Ana into going for two much.  The Rope-A-Dope worked.  Ana had to work so hard from corner to corner and she was basically punching herself into exhaustion.  I never see Ana out-of-breath for prolonged periods of time.  But by 5-4 she was sucking air between every point.  Her legs looked heavy, she was practically panting, and she was shooting worried/stressed/freaked out looks at Darren and Olivier after every point. 

"I felt on my service game in the third set kind of my legs kind of, you know, left me a little bit.  Tried to generate more power with my arm, and then started to force it a little more.  So I couldn't generate as much power because I couldn't jump anymore....  You know, the way the year started in Australia, I got injured in my abdominal and it was kind of dragging on a little so I couldn't practice.  So physically I really wasn't 100% there.  Just tried to work hard."

I keep pretty detailed, point by point match notes when I know I'm going to have to write it up. 

"5-5. No legs. Running on guts. It's over." 

That's the last thing I wrote.

The serve that had carried Ana throughout the match was gone.  Exhausted, she was panicking early, pulling the trigger at inopportune times and going for outright winners that she was just too tired to hit properly.  The misses mounted, and despite Ana's valiant attempts to will herself to the win (she came back from 3-1 down in the breaker to level it at 5-5), Kim was just too steady.  Game, Set, Match, Clijsters, 76(4) 36 76(5).

"It is very hard [to accept].  You should see my racquet. (Smiling.)  But you know, I really felt like I haven't done much wrong, you know.  I had my opportunities, and she played some really good tennis.  You know, a few occasions got a little bit lucky as well.  You know, I fought hard, and I felt I stayed throughout the whole match.  I stayed with her and I created opportunities for myself.  Just very disappointed to lose like that.

I think no matter what the ranking says, I think she's the hottest player at the moment.  You know, it was gonna be a good test for me, and I managed to stay out there with her physically and also to create opportunities and create lots of match points for myself.  That's a very positive thing for me to take from here, becaue, you know, coming into Indian Wells and Miami, honestly I wasn't feeling great physically.  So to come all that way and challenge myself against, you know, best player, it's a good thing."

It is a good thing.  They say that success come when preparation meets opportunity.  Ana had the opportunity.  She just didn't have the preparation.  It's been a tough year of battling injuries that have kept her off the court and out of the gym.  She simply hasn't been able to get her body into tip-top shape to compete at her absolute highest level.  Yesterday, she redlined for two hours and ran out of gas.  Nothing she could do about that, really.  It sounds cliche, but she did the best she could for as long as she could, playing at a level I haven't seen from her since her slump.  It just wasn't enough against the world's best player.  That's why Kim's the best.

Still, there are a lot of positives for Ana to take away from Indian Wells and Miami as she heads back to Europe.  She's already withdrawn from Marbella, citing the need to rest up and get her body healed.  Smart move, I think.  Hope she hits the clay season with not just a full tank, but a bigger tank.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Rollin' In the Deep.

Yo.  Adidas.  Can she have her own "All Petko" shirt now?  I think she's fucking earned it.

How many times have we been left with head in hands as a player pulls off a career performance one day only to turn around the next and barely look like a person worthy of the court?  It happens all the time, whether it's our favorite players or the players that beat our favorite players, only to stink up the joint the next round.  You hear it all the time from the women of the WTA: Anyone can beat anyone on any given day.  Some argue that's because of parity, some argue inconsistency.  But anyone who follows the tour knows it's true.  It happens all the time. 

So I think as tennis fans we are savvy enough to know that one win does not a career make.  One win does not transform you into a player to be reckoned with.  One win can easily be shrugged off as a mere blip, excused as an outlier.  But string some quality wins together?  That's a signal.  Do it at a high-level tournament?  Air-horn.  And do it with solid performances over the course of a two-week tournament?  Ticker tape parade.  Even the ignorant jerks who try to pretend that women's tennis isn't a thing have to put down their Playboys and go "Hmmmm."

Petko's having one of those runs.  Sure, her big personality is making a splash here in Miami and she's charming the pants off the local media who clearly have no idea that she's, you know, a thing.  Her first press conference was attended by me and a writer for the tournament website.  Now they're events.  I mean, talk about your favorite indie band blowing up overnight.  It's like Death Cab before they were on The OC.  All of a sudden people who know shit about shit are acting like they discovered something new. "Wow.  That Ben Gibbard is talented. He can really craft a song."  NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!  WE'VE KNOWN THAT FOR YEARS! 

Imagine my eye-rolling when the first question posed to Petko after her win over Caro was, "So, do you have a name for that dance?"  Come on, homie.  You had 45 minutes to get ready for this presser.  Google is your friend.

You can understand why she's ready to retire it.

But enough of my ranting.  Back to the tennis.

A day after ousting Caro in three sets, Petko backed up her win with a three-set tussle with JJ that saw more ups and downs than something other than a rollercoaster because that rollercoaster analogy is trite.  JJ came out firing in the first set and wasn't giving Petko much of a chance to do anything.  Then the rain came at 5-2, the players were called off the court, and Petko harnessed her chi:

"I started off very slow, especially my feet were not moving well.  I was always one step late, I had the feeling.  I also had the feeling that Jelena was playing really, really great in the beginning and she didn't really give me the chance to play my best.  So I think the rain delay slowed her down a little bit and gave me also the moments and the time to calm down a little bit because I was also getting emotional and frustrated with myself.

[My coach] just told me to remain calm, that she was playing really great, and if she plays a whole match like this then you can just say 'Okay, very well played.'  So that calmed me down a little bit because I felt like, okay, I'm playing bad, but I didn't really acknowledge the fact that she was playing great.  That really calmed me down to know that, Okay, if she really plays that well I'm just going to shake her hand and say, Hey, well played today."

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see much of the post-chi-harnessing play.  I was over on Court 2 watching Ana and Kim.  But it sounds like Petko upped her level, JJ dropped hers and it was all to play for in the third, which saw JJ get an early break at 4-2 before Petko was able to fight to reel off the next four games, fighting off multiple break points at 4-4 to hold, and then breaking JJ in a nine-deuce game for the match.

The theme of the day seemed to be fitness.  A bit more on that later.  But physically, Petko's a beast, and her fitness level drives her confidence:

"Physically I'm, I think, one of the most prepared girls in the tour.  My coach actually said to me when he came on the changeover, I said, Man, I'm dying.  He said, Okay, imagine you are dying, how is she feeling?  I was like, Okay, she's dead already."

This is why you hit the gym, ladies.  There are enough things to be worried about on the court.  Freaking out because you're not sure you can last very long doesn't need to be one of them.

As for your Daily Petko Quippy-Quips:

"I have a very good coach who's gonna bring me all the food I need.  I'm going to go to a steakhouse, eat eight steaks, and I'm gonna be fine."

"I like it much more to play doubles with a friend, with a good friend, instead of practicing with your coach who bores me after a while. (Laughter.)"

"I believe in myself.  But unfortunate in tennis, it's not only about you.  There are also other players who have a word to say.  But that's at least a step, the first step to believe in yourself and believe that you can win.  I mean, I took out the world #1 and I took out the former world #1, so I think there is nothing that stands in the way. Just two more girls stand in the way.  (Laughter.)"

"I'm doing intervals.  So in the beginning I started with 30/30, and the closer it gets to the tennis I start to do it as related as possible to rallies.  So 15 seconds, 15 seconds for my type of game is maybe the -- I think Karlovic does 2 seconds, 2 seconds. (Laughter.)

Eh. You're awesome.  I gots no more to say.

(Pic: Getty)

 

Pic This: You're Welcome.

That shirt would not. stay. down.

An impressive feat of t-shirt engineering, Adidas. 

(Pic: Forty Deuce)

Pass the Salt and Pepper.

Team Murray just got a little less sexy.  Andy said he would go home and think about his coaching sitch.  Looks like that tiny brain under the big fro did some noodling came to the conclusion that it's time to part ways with Alex Corretja. 

Personally, as an Andy fan, I can't tell you if that's a good move or a bad move.  Nor am I in the business of speculating wildly about every single reason why Andy sucks at tennis these days.  Apparently that's what the British press get paid to do.  Well, either they're paid to do it or else they just really love it as a hobby.  Because Jesus, it's all they can talk about right now.  Well, that and, if you're in the Miami press room, epic golf courses from around the world. 

I mean, I get it, but I don't get it.  This is probably the hopeless fan in me talking (there's actually not a hopeless fan *in* me, btw.  It'd be rude to be blogging if that were the case), but didn't this all happen last year?  And didn't he end up making the semis of Wimbledon?  Andy Murray is a mystery for sure, it's why I love.  But can't we all just acknowledge that he might, quite possibly, be fine?  Some people need time.  Give the emo dude some time to process everything and when he gets his head on right who knows what he'll be able to do at the next few Slams.  He doesn't have Roger's effortless talent, he doesn't have Rafa's relentless drive, nor does he have that epic chip on his shoulder that seems to drive Novak.  I don't know, sometimes I think he's just a normal dude who reacts and processes things like a normal dude would.  Since when was being a normal person who processes disappointment in a normal way become a gaping character flaw? 

Do whatever you need to do, Andy.  Hide under your covers, hang out with Kim, let Maggie lick your face for the next 10 weeks.  Sometimes time is the only solution and no friend, family, journo, pundit, or coach can force time to go faster.  You just have to wait it out.

Wow.  I really only meant to post the news about Alex.  Clearly I needed to talk some shit out. 

ANYWAY.  Not to worry about the cuteness of Team Murray for too long.  As we lose Alex we gain a more permanent, and arguably more adorable member of the team.  Judy got a dog.  Her name is Penny.  I suspect that she's a little hornball, just like her momma.

(Pic: Forty Deuce)

 

Pfft. Tennis Players Aren't Athletes.

Rain washed out play late last night, postponing Ana's fourth round match against Kim andcutting short the ridiculous shotmaking on display between Jo and Dolly at 76 46 23. Watch that clip until the end.  The athleticism of each of these guys is off the charts, which is particularly fun in light of how differently built they are physically.  That's what you have to love about tennis.  What you don't have to love is the fact that these guys were killing themselves last night to try and get the match in before the rain, now have to turn around for a noon (likely later than noon) start, only to have to turn it around to play, of all people, Rafa later that afternoon.  Ouch.

Here's the revised order of play for Tuesday, where Crandon Park will be briefly transformed into Belgrade Arena during the day session.  Nole, Viktor, Janko, Nenad, Ana, JJ, and Petko are all in action, including Ivanorazzi dubs.  It's a bummer there isn't as huge of a Serbian population in Miami as there is in LA.  Then again, it's a lot of Serb on Serb action.  Whomever would people root for?  (AnaNolePetkoJanko)

Thunderstorms are forecast for the day so who knows how we'll be able to get through all these matches.  Cross your fingers.

STADIUM start 11:00 am
[14] M Fish (USA) vs J Del Potro (ARG) - ATP

Not Before 12:00 PM
[21] A Dolgopolov (UKR) vs [15] J Tsonga (FRA) 67(2) 64 32 - ATP-to finish 67 64 32

Not Before 1:00 PM
[21] A Petkovic (GER) vs [6] J Jankovic (SRB) - WTA
[19] A Ivanovic (SRB) vs [2] K Clijsters (BEL) - WTA
[16] V Troicki (SRB) vs [2] N Djokovic (SRB) - ATP-Possible Court Change
[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs [21] A Dolgopolov (UKR) or [15] J Tsonga (FRA) - ATP

Not Before 7:30 PM
[16] M Sharapova (RUS) vs [26] A Dulgheru (ROU) - WTA

Not Before 9:30 PM
[3] R Federer (SUI) vs [Q] O Rochus (BEL) - ATP

GRANDSTAND start 11:00 am
[6] D Ferrer (ESP) vs M Granollers (ESP) - ATP
[30] J Isner (USA) vs K Anderson (RSA) - ATP
F Mayer (GER) vs [7] T Berdych (CZE) - ATP

Not Before 5:00 PM
J Tipsarevic (SRB) vs [25] G Simon (FRA) - ATP

COURT 2 start 12:00 noon
[3] M Bhupathi (IND) / L Paes (IND) vs M Lopez (ESP) / D Marrero (ESP) - ATP
D Hantuchova (SVK) / A Radwanska (POL) vs N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / A Parra Santonja (ESP) - WTA
X Malisse (BEL) / J Murray (GBR) vs [6] M Llodra (FRA) / N Zimonjic (SRB) - ATP
[WC] A Ivanovic (SRB) / A Petkovic (GER) vs S Peer (ISR) / S Peng (CHN) - WTA
[1] G Dulko (ARG) / F Pennetta (ITA) vs [8] M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) / A Medina Garrigues (ESP) - WTA

Incredulity: Serbian Style

During Ana's third round win over Razzano, Petko popped in to watch the match after her practice.  Awfully nice, I thought.  She just happened to be standing waiting for the changeover when an absolutely horrible line call went against Ana. 

Just like her BFF, Petko has a HORRIBLE poker face.

 

Uh...you're not helping things, Petko.  You're only encouraging her.

"It's cool, Anci.  I got your back.  This isn't creepy at all.  I promise."

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Yes, Petko. Forty Have.

So Petko has a nickname for me: "Forty".  I feel like this is such cosmic justice for the fact that I run a blog that revolves around nicknames.  Anyway, not only did she bring it up during our interview earlier in the week, but she's hellbent on actually using it whenever she sees me. 

This would include press conferences:

Q: Has [Ana] paid the $20?

Petkovic: Ana?  Yeah, immediately.  You have to pay in the changeovers.  We already exchange -- yeah it's true. (Laughter) It's true.  Forty has pictures.  You have?

That's in addition to Petko shutting down a reporter when we asked her a question at the same time. "Sorry.  It's Forty."  Heh.

Anyway, since she asked, yes, I have pictures of the cash exchange from yesterday's match:

In case you're wondering:

"I won 20 bucks.  Ana, I think she shed one tear, because I hit aces.  I usually go more for percentage and trying to mix it up.  Yesterday, like in the first or second game I hit three aces, which is 15 bucks already.  Also on the decisive point I hit a return winner, which is also 5 bucks, so 20 bucks all in all.  She earned -- I think she had one ace and one important volley, so that was $7.  So $13.  (Laughter)"

Well done, ladies.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Brains Over Blonde.

Since Petko's known that she was going to play Caro she's been vocal about her intent to employ a new gameplan against her, one that other WTAers just don't seem to want to adopt: be patient, work the ball, use the angles, get Caro moving with well-placed shots, wait for the short ball, and terminate it.  It sounds simple but for an aggressive player like Petko, it takes a tremendous amount of discipline to trust that gameplan and execute. 

While she benefited from Caro's uncharacteristically flat play, (50 UFEs!!!!!!!!!!!!), I was convinced that she'd panic and abandon the gameplan after Caro took the second set.  I have never been more happy to be wrong.  Andrea kept her head, stayed focused, got the decisive break after losing a break advantage, and then served out the match with an ace.  Quite the performance from the woman who used to be known for that epic 4MP collapse against Sveta at RG.

"Most of the players think they can overpower Caroline.  I think that's the wrong approach, because that's where she's most comfortable, when she can run and bring the most balls back.  Then once you lose your concentration for once on your shot, she goes for it.  Some like to say that she's pushing, but it's not like the balls are slow and not short, you know.  They are quite deep, so you cannot really attack them.

What I try to do is mix it up and to make her play, and then when I had the short ball to go for it.  Because if you try to hit every single shot with full power, full power, she just gets more comfortable, more comfortable, and eventually you're gonna miss.  She's not gonna miss the last one.  

So this is what I tried to do, just be patient and wait for the short ball, and until then try to mix it up and also give her the initiative to try to play.

So there's the book on Caro.  And it is dead-on.  The question of course is whether it would work when Caro has her A-Game.  Tough call.  But Petko looked like a genius today.

As for Caro, she gave one of the more evasive, sarcastic pressers I've seen from her.  On being asked about Petko's very public game plan:

"I lost a match.  That happens.  If she had a plan, good for her."

LOLOLOLOL.  Love it. 

On being asked what was going on with her forehand today:

"Nothing was going on with my forehand.  Nothing was going on with my backhand.  You know, I lost the match.  She played a good match."

And on whether she was more emotional on court than normal:

"I don't know.  I was playing a match.  I wanted to win, and that's it."

I found the whole thing hilarious.  Her energy reminded me of Moose's post-loss pressers.  "I don't want to be here but I'll answer your stupid fucking question using minimum effort and I'm not going to give you shit."

As for Petko, she advances to take on JJ.  Same game plan maybe?  Tough call.  I feel like you actually can hit through JJ and a conservative game plan won't work.  She has more firepower with that backhand than Caro.  But what do I know.  I'm not the one who just snapped the World #1's 23-match win streak at Premier Mandatory events. 

I think that stat is right.  I don't have my abacus with me.

One piece of breaking news regarding the Petko Dance:

I wanted to get rid of it after the US Open, but the fans, they said like, Hey, we are just coming to see the dance and you're not doing anymore.  So I brought it back in.  But this is definitely the last tournament where it's gonna happen, and then I'm moving on to something else. (Laughter)

I'm a little sad, but it was a nice phase and it was nice fun, but now I'm getting a little tired of it.  Time to move on. 

So long as you keep winning, I don't think any of us mind, Andrea.  But here's hoping we get to see the Petko Dance a few more times before the week is over.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

 

Shrieks Over Silence, Every Time. Literally.

Another comprehensive win for Masha over Sam (64 61), upping her career H2H to 7-0.  The key to the match was Masha's return of serve.  She did a great job negating the effectiveness of the kicker and getting into Sam's head.  Not that that second part is all that hard.  #wahwah

It seems pretty obvious that Sam just doesn't match up well with tall heavy-hitters.  Make them blonde and it's just straight up Corgi Cryptonite.  A bit disappointing that Sam couldn't put up much of a fight in the second set.  Sure, Masha was en fuego but it just felt like Sam already threw in the towel mentally.  There's a kid with no confidence right now.  I'm hoping the magic fairy dust of clay will miraculously change things. I'm not all that hopeful.

Go get it, Masha.  She's got Dulgheru in the quarters (yes, she beat Peng) and then either Petko or JJ.  I know I should root for Petko in that match, but I wouldn't mind a little Bollitieri's Revertigo.  Masha/JJ matches RULE.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

She's, Like, a Real Person!

Caught Sam's practice session yesterday.  I was quite curious to see a preview of Dave's gameplan. 

It basically involved a lot of slicing.  At least that's what they were working on.

I really love watching Dave and Sam work.  She was getting frustrated, he offered some minor adjustments, she incorporated them immediately, and all was well again. 

You don't see that often.  Most times players hear their coaches tips but just keep doing what they were doing, or in some cases, the coaches don't offer any tips at all.  At least not immediately.

And now I will close with actual photo evidence that Sam does laugh.

Dave almost hit someone with a shanked return.  Sam giggled:

Unicorn!

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Ana Ivanovic Gets Pissed: A Compendium.

Ana had a successful day at the office but a rough day with the umpires.  Her singles match was riddled with questionable calls and her doubles match saw Ivanorazzi get broken in the second set on an overrule from the chair.  Ana was...not pleased.  But as Petko's facial expressions show, a pissed off Ana is a hilarious Ana.

The funny thing is that it wasn't even on her shot.  It was on Petko's.  What a good teammate.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Pic This: Argentina In The House.

I stopped in for a bit of the Pico/Staks match.  Even if I wasn't planning to, the noise emanating from the court beckoned me.  The stands were full of Argie fans who were joyfully boisterous in their support of their Pico.  It was a really fun crowd and the cheers and chanting made you forget you were in Miami.  It sure as hell felt more like Buenos Aires.  South American Slam, indeedy.

Pico gutted out the tough three setter.  It was crazy hot out there so credit to both Pico and Staks.  I was only there for half a set and when I stood up my pants were soaked.  And not in the awesome way.

Awww....look at the cute homeless dude playing tennis.

Good job, Pico! Unfortunately, you've got Roger next.

Smile the bad luck away, my friend.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

 

Pic This: I Can't Help Myself.

IT WASN'T ME, I SWEAR!!!

But I'm really pissed I didn't think about it.

(Pic: Getty)

Pic This: Works For Me.

(Top Pic: Forty Deuce)

Pic This: "No Seriously, How Do You Hit a Tweener?"

NERD.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Sam Won! Masha Won! Uh Oh.

Sometimes I say things out loud and I don't think them through.  Expressing rather publicly that I wanted a Masha/Sam fourth rounder would be one of those things.  While Masha was cruising over Sabine on Stadium Court (how does that kid not not a clothing sponsor?  She so should!) 62 60, Sam was kiiiiiinda cruising over Lucie, 60 76(1).

Sam was striking the ball really cleanly and for the second straight match she was serving really well.  That said, Lucie just didn't show up until her back was against the wall in the second set, down 2-5.  She would hold, play a good game to break Sam when she served for the match, then held to even it up at 5-5.  But once they got to the breaker Sam ran away with it.  It was a weird match but a solid performance by Sammy.

So we get the match-up I wanted and I'm already so conflicted.  I guess all I want is a good match.  I would hate for these two to take the court and just spray the ball everywhere but in the court, which we all know they're capable of doing.  It'll be interesting to see if the kicker affects Masha.  I can't think it will.  She tall.  Masha's serve will be crucial (duh), and we'll see if Sam can hang in the rallies long enough to get in a position to dictate with the forehand.  I have a feeling Maria's going to come out of the gate's firing.  If she's on, this one could be over quickly. 

Masha on Sam:  "She's a top 5 player and she's been so consistent, so tough to beat.  I really look forward to that.  We haven't played each other in a while.  Obviously she has a great serve, good all-around game, good mover.  Yeah, look forward to taking my chances on that one."

Sam on Masha:  "Another player I've never beaten before.  Hopefully today means good things for the next match.  I haven't matched up well against her in the past, but I also haven't been the player I am now in the past either.  So I'm sure I can look back on those things and look at what she does and how she's playing at the moment and hopefully Dave and I can come up with a good gameplan, I can execute it, and I can come up with my first win."

So...Masha's going to take chances and Sam's gonna come up with a "gameplan."  Lord help us.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Oh, Daniela.

Another heartbreaker for the Can't-Close Kid.  After dropping the first set 61 to Woz, both players would trade holds (I KNOW!) through the one hour and 24 minute second set.  Then WTA ish came raining down on Stadium court. 

Dani had three set points and, by all accounts, choked them.  Then serving match point down, she double faulted.  GSM, Danish Cockroach.  I mean...oh, Daniela. 

Going through my Twitter timeline it sounded like a nutty match, entertaining for all the wrong reasons.  My favorite quote has to be Lindsay Davenport's, who said something to the effect of "the #1 player in the world just served a 73 mph first serve on match point."  HEEEEEE.

So if you saw the match I'd love to hear your take in the comments.  I fell asleep in the middle of the second.  You can't blame me.  It was Woz!

It'll be Woz vs. Petko next.  Petko absolutely destroyed Iveta, dropping a bagel in the first and jumping out to a 4-0 lead in the second before Iveta fought back to get on serve.  But Petko kept it badass and finally shut the door.

Looking forward to that match.  Auf geht's!

(Pic: Forty Deuce)

And So a Boy Becomes a Man...

I don't know. I liked Aga's better.

Marin lost to Janko.  His struggles continue.  Sigh.

Credit to Racquet Required for finding the clip.

NolAndy. More Like NoAndy.

Everyone knows the formula for an awesome boy band.  You always have to have the super-talented, hot, charismatic, wide-grinning one who all the boys want to be and all the ladies want to be with.  They're the Michael Jacksons, the Timberlakes, the Lacheys, the Lennons, and the George Michaels of the world. 

Then there's the super emo dude who isn't all that good at singing or dancing who leave you wondering why the hell he's even in the band.  Did he secure his spot by letting the overweight, sweaty, band manager to touch him inappropriately?  What blackmail material does he have on the other members?  Does he even want to be in the band?  This, of course, would be the Andrew Ridgeleys, Danny Woods, Chris Kirkpatricks, and Justin whatever his last name is in 98 Degrees.  You know, the fat white dude with bleached blonde hair?  Yeah, that dude.

"Oh oh oh oh oh.  The Right Stuff."

With all that said, introducing the Wham! of tennis: NolAndy.  Do I really have to specify which one is the Ridgely in this dynamic duo?

It's you, Andy.  You're Andrew Ridgeley.  Ya doof.

I was only able to catch the super-tiebreak, as I was a bit preoccupied with Sam hitting the shit out of the ball across the grounds on Grandstand.  But I sprinted over and caught the calamity that is "Andy Murray Playing Tennis When He Really Has No Business Doing So."  Novak was, of course, AWESOME.  This narrative has, thankfully, been captured in this epic point, which illustrates beautifully the WIN/FAIL yin-yang that is, NolAndy:

It seriously only makes me love you more, Andy.

I know, Nole.  I know.

God, you guys are adorable. 

Look at them coordinating their dance moves!

"Thanks for letting me play with you, Nole."

"Look Bro, I love you.  But I gotta go solo.  You understand."

Keep bringing Sexy Back, Nole.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Seedless.

Of all the weeks to choose to switch bodies, the ATP chooses to do its best WTA impression at the Fifth Slam?  A day after losing Moose and FeVer, Miami said adios to defending champ A-Rod, lost to Pablo Cuevas in straight sets.  A-Rod's been suffering with a bronchial issue all week as well as a few physical niggles.  He said he'll get it all checked out when he goes back to Texas. 

So with a week to go in Miami, the tournament has lost Moose (#5), defending champ A-Rod (#8), hot boy FeVer (#9), and, well, let's just list the rest of the carnage: Melzer (#10), Stan (#12) Marin (#18), Montanes (#20), Marcos (#22), GGL (#24), Ernie (#26), Bellucci (#27), PEHK (#29), and Milos (#31).  The carnage opens up Nole's quarter and Fed's quarter a bit, though it didn't really look like their quarters would be too difficult anyway.

The ladies on the other hand have held up quite nicely.  Other than Nails' second round loss, seven of the top 8 seeds are still in and the top 32 seeds haven't been shaken too badly.  Shahar and Wicky's early round losses were a bit of a shock and Peng, who came in unseeded is just slicing her way through the now Nail-less 1/8, beating Aravane and then ousting Sveta yesterday, 3 and 1.  If she beats Dulgheru tomorrow she'll get the winner of Masha/Sam. 

Thanks for making me sound like I know anything about tennis, Shuai.  Yellow Power!

Isn't this so Chinese?  Jay-Z?  Injured.  Nails?  Slumping.  But it's all about human capital in China and for a country with 593 BAZILLION people, you knew someone would rise up to plug the hole.  I genuinely have no idea how Shuai's doing it.  I've watched her matches and she does everything well but there's gotta be something about her game off the ground that is perplexing her opposition.  Taking the ball super early perhaps?  Super flat?  Super speed?  There's something super going on but my untrained ignorant tennis eye can't pick it up.  All I know is that right now, it's super-effective. 

Do yo think Ping Peng!*

*but not if you play Masha or Sam.  Gonna need you to go down to the big strong white girls there.

(Pics: Reuters, Getty)

You Can't Figure Out "69"? You Dumb.

It's a good thing my boyfriend lost because if he hadn't, DonkeyGrooming's boyfriend would have been the one in the headlines yesterday.  And not for the best of reasons.

FeVer gets dumped out of Miami by #69 Pablo Andujar in three sets 36 76(3) 64.  At least this means he has more time to hit South Beach and ask about this whole 69 business.  Someone draw him a diagram.

Fer and Moose weren't the only seeds to fall on Friday.  While the WTA's seeds pretty much held up, the ATP took a beating.  Milos, Stan, GGL, and Belucci all lost, with Milos running up against both the heat and an inspired Somdev, and Stan going down, quite surprisingly, to Granolla Bars, taking a bagel on the way.  Boy, that run at the Australian Open is looking flukier and flukier as the weeks roll on. 

I suspect normalcy will be restored today on the ATP side.  But the WTA could shed some blood with Sveta drawing the red-hot Peng, and Sam pulling a lefty, flat-hitting Czech in Lucie. 

We gonna see.

(Pic: Getty)

No Answers.

So...Andy hasn't won a set of tennis in almost two months.  He hasn't won a match since beating Daveed in the Australian Open semifinals in January, and he's 0-3 since Melbourne.  For the second straight tournament he lost in straight sets to an American wildcard, this time to #118 and Ashley Harkleroad's ex-hubby, Alex Bogomolov Jr, who to his credit, played very very very well. 

Um...I'm going to let Andy do the talking:

I haven't found competing difficult.  It's playing.  I have been playing badly.  You know, last week I was disappointed in myself.  I could have competed better.  This week I was competing.  I was trying to get myself back into the match, trying to find ways, trying to run balls down, but I just didn't have that spark.  Competing is something that I have been able to do well the last few years.  It's not that.  It's my game.  My game was poor.

...

It's frustrating.  A lot of players would get frustrated if they were playing the way that I have the last two weeks.  Everyone would.  I know for sure if any of the guys ahead of me in the rankings were playing like me they would be disappointed as well.

...

I believe in myself.  I believe in myself.  That's not an issue.  But I need to find a way of...The same thing happened last year.  It's happened to me in the past where I've had bad moments and I've come back well from them.  I need to do the same again, because it's been bad.

That's why I'm pissed off, because I did the same thing last year and it's up to me and the guys I work with to not let that happen awgain.  That's why I'm annoyed, because it shouldn't be happening.  You now, this year I definitely practiced better than I did last year.  I definitely trained better.  And I've messed up.  So I don't know exactly what it is, and, you know, it's obviously my responsibility.  I'm the one on the court.  If everything's going well on the practice court and the gym and I play like that, then it's something to do with me.  So I need to change that.

I feel better than I did last year, but I feel like last year I was at least playing a bit better than I was this year.  So I don't really know what that means, if mentally I feel better, but my tennis isn't where I'd like it to be.  It's a difficult one.

And on the big elephant in the room, coaching:

I'll see when I have a bit of time to reflect on it.  Last year it was one of those things where you need to sort of treat it properly because it's not -- you have no idea how I've been practicing, how things have been in the gym, and I do.

It's been good, and then what everyone sees is what's on the court, and that's me.  It's my responsibility.  So whether I get someone in or not, it's actually -- it's not -- it wouldn't be down to the last two mathes, because as a whole, you need to assess things properly.

It's not anyone's fault for giving me wrong tactics or practicing the wrong way.  That's not the reason why I played like I did.  So I'll have to think about it and see what I want to do.  If I make a change, it won't be because of how I've played the last two matches.

I kind of want to shed a tear for him.  Not because he lost or because he's playing like shit.  Because he sounds completely lost. 

And also because he's my boyfriend.  Form an orderly queue, ladies.  That drumstick is mine.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Yup. Sam's Here.

Worried that my devotion to Sam has waned?  WORRY NOT.

She's been around, hitting forehands, serving bombs, running from crowds.  You know how she do.

I missed her practice this morning but apparently she was escorted from her court by four uniformed security guards.  Really?  For Sam?  But then I realized that A-Rod had taken over her court.  I kinda think Sam just happened to be walking back to the player lounge while the cops were heading back after dropping Andy off. Right place, right time, great pic.

Ah, the tennis.  Um, yeah, she won 2 and 1 over Jay-Z.  She served really well so that's good news.  But the ball wasn't coming clean off her groundstrokes at all, which obviously has me frazzled for her match against Lucie.  Also, she started whacking her neck like a fool before a return of serve, ostensibly swatting a fly that didn't exist.  It was funny though.

Awwww.  Look at her little corgi legs!  They don't reach the ground.  Get the kid a footstool or something.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Not Right Now It Isn't.

Does anyone want to tell me how Nails lost to Joanna Larsson last night, 75 67(5) 76(5)?  She's now 0-5 since Melbourne and this is the second match she's been unable to close with match points. 

Too much Haagen-Daaz or the Murray Curse?  Come on, Na.  It's better when you're good at the tennis.

At least she got some good practice time with Sveta.  The two were cracking each other up.  Nails kept ripping on Sveta ("I know you are lazy so I let you serve first") and Sveta was fucking with Nails during the overhead warmup, hitting easy lobs and then taking the balls out of her pocket and hitting them up so there were 3 or 4 balls raining down simultaneously, much to Nails' confusion.

Get back to winning, Nails.  We need more hilarious pressers!

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Swedish Moobballs.

Sod and Tomas practiced together a couple of days ago, and while I wasn't really all that interested in seeing Sod's farmer tan, Tomas was looking absolutely lovely. 

Um.  Hi!

To add to the pleasure of watching this practice sesh, Sod was getting super frustrated, chucking racquets, thwacking balls, etc.  So, bonus.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Losers Pants. Winners Dance.

Ivanorazzi!!!  Totally the highlight of yesterday's viewing schedule.  After spending much of the morning watching Sveta and Sam cruise, I was off to watch me the doubles pairing of two of the more charming and delightful ladies on tour.  And while they're actually not horrible at the game of tennis, they haven't actually won matches together.  And by that I mean, no really, they actually haven't won a match together.

Whoops.  I wasn't the only one stoked for this match.  It took me four changeovers to finally get into the stands.  The Sveta/Bepa dubs was packed later in the day as well.  Take a lesson from your preppy twin, Sony Ericsson Open: People love doubles, even when girls play.

Once inside it was everything I hoped it would be. 

There were lots of adorable high-fives.

Adorabler high 2.5s. 

Actually, that one's more of a high 0.92.

And Ana was a dork.  Seriously.  She was suuuuuuuuuuuuch a dork throughout the match.  During the changeover after this point, Ana went to wallet and gave Petko some cash.  Want to know why?  Well, this is what Petko told me afterwards:

She actually gave me $10 but I had to give her change.  So [the rules are] if you serve an ace on an important point, $5.  If you serve a service winner on an important point, $2, return winner, $2.  And this, where she gave me $2, was she said "OK, I'm going to serve a first serve and if you cross and put the volley away I'll give you $2."  And she just had $10 so she gave it to me and I said I would give her the change later.  Then, after that amazing most epic point ever, she said "OK.  You can keep the change."  We said that probably we would be the #1 and #2  in the world if the prize money was visible on the net post.  So that's our way of motivating.

So there you go.  I'm bringing an abacus to their next match to keep tally.  Just kidding.  I always have an abacus on me.  Because I'm Asian.

After losing the first set 6-4, Ivanorazzi quickly built a 4-0 lead over Angry Rodionova and Chuang.  In fact, they served for the match at 5-1.  Of course, it would have to be Ana serving.  My viewing companion, the lovely Aisha, leaned over and whispered, "How much you want to bet it'll be 5-2?"  House money, girl.  I ain't dumb. 

As if we needed any reminder that these two were playing under an invisible Serbian flag, 5-1 became 5-2, which evolved to 5-3, which morphed to 5-4, which metastasised to 5-5.  NERVOOOOOOOS!  As if the match needed any more twists and turns, Ana served at 5-5 and...HELD!!!  Then on set point, Petko put away a volley and turned to Ana as if to say "See?  Was that so hard?"

On to the Super Tiebreak, where Ivanorazzi have seen their hopes and dreams dashed almost every time.  But they both played fantastic!  Ana was flying around the net, intercepting crosses and putting away her volleys.  At one point she hit a high flying backhand volley which caused me to wonder out loud, "Is it just me or was that...actually...balletic?"  People laughed.  As they should.

Of course Rodio wouldn't go down easily.  With coach Conchita Martinez cheering her on, Rodio thwapped an overhead that Petko had to hit the deck to avoid.  BISH WHAT???  It's a good thing there were steel barriers.  I was ready to charge the court and throw down.  But I should know better.  Petko can handle herself.  On the very next point she hit an overhead in the general vicinity of Rodio.  Heh.  That's our Petko.  From there the ladies built up quite the lead and finally closed it out 10-5. 

Hugs, smiles, high fives, WHATEVER!!!  I WANT TO SEE THE DANCE, DAMMIT!

Um.  So that was awesome.  As they walked off the court a guy called out to Ana to do the dance again.  "Next match,"  she said through a shy smile.  Let's hope so!

I asked Petko what took more time, convincing Ana to do the dance or teaching it to her:

Convincing was hard work  because last week in Indian Wells, I think, in the tiebreaker, I felt like she hit one or two double faults and didn't hit the returns quite as she's used to. Because I told her before the breaker, I thought it would be motivation but obviously it was some kind of scaring her.  I told her "Ana we do the Petko dance if we win!" and I thought like, she's gonna go like "Yeah!  Now I'm going to run even more!"  but she went, like "Yeah.  I'm going to serve two doubles and not put the return in."  So I think she was scared back then.  But now we practiced and now she's more comfortable.  But she said before the match points she said she was getting so nervous because now we were winning it and she would have to do the Petko dance.

Way to hold your nerve, Ana.  And well done with the booty-shaking.

It was a long but successful day at the office for Petko, who took out Jamie Hampton in singles under the blazing early afternoon sun and then had to turn around for dubs under the low, hot late-afternoon sun.  She was wiped (she apparently fell asleep during her massage) but elated:

Emotion-wise, today winning doubles with Ana was really, I was more happy about that than about my singles win because I haven't won a doubles match in a year.  And I'm not that bad of a doubles player, I just don't win.  Today I was so happy and Ana also, because we tried a couple of times to play together and we always lost in the Champions tie-break.  So probably I had good emotions today after winning the doubles.  And I got her to do the Petko dance.

Yes, you did, Andrea.  And *that* was your biggest triumph of the day.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Footie Filarity.

The boys took the footie pitch last night for a charity footie match organized by Novak and Kei to benefit Japan.  It was great fun and if you missed the stream that was commentated by a random dude who had no idea who any of the tennis players were, let's just say that much like the above picture, it was an unintentionally comedic fail of rather epic proportions.

First of all, the guy only recognized Novak and Andy.  So the commentary went like this:  "Oh, great switch by one tennis player to another tennis player.  Nice touch to Novak Djokovic, Novak Djokovic takes it up the field, Novak Djokovic passes to Andy Murray, great move by Andy Murray, crosses to a tennis player, GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL  Tennis player!"

If you think I'm exaggerating, I'm not.  Pretty sure others who watched the stream can vouch for me here.

Of course, Judy Murray was on-hand providing much better commentary via her ever-awesome Twitter.  Let's just say she has her clear favorites.

She's the best.

Anyway, the boys seemed to have great fun, the crowd was genuinely enjoying it, and Baggy and my pale-faced dork of a boyfriend, who showed up in tennis trainers and full ankle braces, scored goals.  Honey, you're just lucky you got picked on a team.

Interestingly, Rafa was in attendance but he didn't take the pitch.  I wonder if Tio put the kibash on that the minute he landed.  You know he would have loved to.  No word on whether he sprinted on the field to tackle Nole.  Again, you know he would have loved to.

Great stuff for a great cause.  My sister's charity of choice has been Second Harvest Japan, an organization dedicated to getting much needed food and supplies to the hard-hit areas.  You can donate here.  I've also heard that the players are planning more fund-raising activities for Friday night.  Stay tuned.

(Pics: Getty)

Everybody Please Calm Your Shit.

There I was, minding my own business, watching my emo boyfriend practice with a crowd of maaaaaaybe six people.  It was thoroughly enjoyable.  So enjoyable that I actually pulled a nearby chair next to the fence, took a load off and started chatting with an absolutely adorable 84 year old couple about life, love, and tennis. 

All of a sudden I hear the sound of people running towards our court and the high-pitched squeals of "RAFA!  RAFA!  RAFA!"  Um...I'm under no pretenses that my pasty vampire looks anything like Rafa.  But as kid after kid came sprinting over and literally slamming themselves into the fence to get a prime spot, it was clear that Rafa was on his way to take over the court.

And he did.

If I were a real estate developer you would have heard the jackpot bells ringing from my seat.  I sure as hell wasn't going to give it up for no good reason, even if I only had a mild interest in seeing Rafa practice.

But I stuck around because TIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Having had my Rafa and Toni fill (yes, it is possible) I got the bat signal via Twitter that Sam was practicing on a nearby court.  THAT, of course, was the only thing that was getting me out of my primo viewing location.  I looked over my shoulder to see who was around me and I noticed the wife of the old couple who had previously been chatting me up during Moose's practice was sitting in a chair right behind me with absolutely no view of the court.  I think she was just sitting because she was tired.  So I did what Federal law requires you to do on public transportation:  If there's a pregnant lady or an old person, YOU GIVE UP YOUR FUCKING SEAT.

So I did.  I asked her if she'd like my seat, her face lit up, I helped her into it, and I began to push myself out of the crowd.  But not before hearing a bunch of people complaining about how they had been standing there longer and that apparently, in their view, what I did was unfair and wrong.  Of course, they said it in much more colorful language. 

That was kind of the last straw.

Masha, about to brave the autograph and picture hounds after practice yesterday.

I've only been here in Miami for two days and I've already witnessed some nutty fan behavior.  I get that you guys are passionate for your players and I get that it's a really big deal that you get to see them up close and personal.  The access is what makes tennis such a great sport.  But the pushing, the shoving, the intentional cock-blocking, and the verbal tiffs need to stop.  Yesterday I saw security absolutely screaming at a crowd of kids and adults who had swarmed her after practice.  No joke, it scared the shit out of me.  I thought someone was going to get hurt. 

Security at tennis tournaments is a tricky thing.  On one hand, tournaments are judged by the amount of access fans have to the players.  On the other hand, tennis has had one of the more gruesome fan-player interactions that was a result of poor security.  I don't like seeing security screaming at little kids but at the same time, when I see the crazy shit fans do to get close to their players I can't blame them. 

So I beseech you, tennis fans young and old:  Lead by example and act responsibly.  Have kids, nieces, and nephews?  Take them to a tennis tournament and show them how to have manners about it.  It's not hard and at the end of the day, you'll still get the autograph or picture if you're just cool about it. 

Or just teach them to be Sam Stosur fans. Cuz seriously, her practices are emmmmmmpty.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Natural Blonde.

It seems that every time I see Maria Sharapova practicing these days she's working on her serve.  T-Hog is in her ear after each one, telling her what she did right, what to do next, etc.  It's really kind of disheartening.  I know she's had to change her technique a bit in order to protect the injured shoulder but if she's 100% (and I'm not saying she is or she isn't) I stress over whether all this tweaking and tinkering is just fucking it up more.  As Ana said last week at Indian Wells:

If you start to think about technique going down the stairs, you're gonna fall down. (Laughing.) Really, if you start thinking what which leg is doing, it's hard to focus walking down the stairs.

It's the same with my serve. If I start thinking about every aspect of it, I can't serve. So I just try to trust my motion. Because I have been doing it since I was five, so I can do it. It's just a matter of trusting it again.

Because I became so technical about it and I had so many advices that I forgot what I was doing and what feels natural.

Now granted, Masha's game is the opposite of "natural" and Ana is the more gifted athlete of the two.  But I have to think at some point she's just going to have to start ignoring technique and just throw the ball up and hit it.  I totally accept that I have no idea what I'm talking about.  Maybe it's just my inner athlete coming out.  I just really hated it when a coach was on me all the time about technique.

Oh, I wasn't being dirty.  Stop it.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Sorry, Frank. She's Taken.

Petko and Frank practiced together yesterday.

Afterwards, Petko introduced Fran to her boyfriend, Phillip.

He. Is. Adorable.

Chitty, Chatty, Laughy.  All in a day's work.

And yes, Tatiana Garbin is still working with Frank.  She rocks her aviators.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

It Speaks Volumes That You're Still Gorgeous In That Trackie, Bepa.

I enjoy the WTA's All-Access Hour and if I'm ever lucky enough to get to a tournament early enough to attend them, I do.  For the most part they give you an opportunity to actually talk to a player, as opposed to shout questions at them, and you can ask some of the more off-beat questions that may not be appropriate for a press conference.

The hour started with JJ, who still sounds like she's been out smoking and partying.  The low, gravelly, raspy voice makes it borderline impossible to understand her sometimes.  But the one you can never misread is JJ's face.  At one point, a journo asked her what she thought of Nole's amazing run and whether she had any thoughts as to why he was so inspired.  As she started to answer, a male journo, with a smart-alecky tone, exclaimed "Maybe's it's Ana!" and started laughing at his own joke.  I stifled a gasp and literally stepped back five steps.  Sure enough, JJ stopped her answer, silently shot him a deathglare for a good 5 seconds, and then kept answering.

JJ, 1, Ignorant and Rude Journo, death.  Seriously.  So rude. 

Next up, after turning to see Bepa in a spectacular Ed Hardy hoodie chatting with a journo in Russian, I decided to lady up and chill by Sam's table.  After wiping the beads of sweat from my brow, I finally asked her a question that I've had for her since Indian Wells:  What's your take on your year so far?

I haven't had the season that I wanted to yet, that's for sure.  I played some pretty good tennis and feel like I'm playing quite well on the practice court.  Haven't been able to put it together in a tournament yet unfortunately.  But at least I feel like I'm playing well, I'm feeling fit and doing the things I need to do.  Hopefully for me it's not too far away and it's just around the corner, getting good results.  You gotta go through these times, it hasn't been horrible but it hasn't been what I wanted.

Way to get it all emo, Court!  Quite the talent you have.

Next up, Vika.  Yes, I know I've been papped repeatedly while talking with Vika.  If you read FD enough you might be wondering, "What the hell were you talking to Vika for?"  Well the one awkward thing that can happen at AAH is that some players end up not getting talked to, or they get 5 questions and all the journos leave to go talk to Kim or Caro or something.  That almost happened to Vika and I just kind of felt bad.  So I stuck around with her and chatted about the friendships on tour, the cameraderie, why she thought that was, etc.  It was actually kind of nice.  I suspect she's a perfectly nice person when she's not talking tennis.

"I think more [cameraderie].  I don't want to sound cocky or anything but I think a lot of us young players brought it.  Because we came from juniors and we have the competitors between us but we also have our friendship.  We have our rivalries on the court but we're normal people off the court.  We see each other at every tournament.  I think we brought a lot of that into the game, also from the men's tour.  I think it's great.  I think for the fans it's exciting to see how we have relationships between all of us, not just the lower ranked players.

It's very exciting.  It makes it easier for us to joke around. It's part of the tennis life and it's part of being a tennis family."

And on her groin injury:

"I'm trying get back.  Practiced a little bit yesterday, just easy.  And it was not a tear but it was still a strain.  Trying to recover and hopefully I'll be fine."

From there it was over to Fran's table, where those who were smart enough to ignore Kim and take in the Schiavone Experience were literally on the edge of their seat, leaning forward, listening intently.  That's what Fran does.  She draws you in, whether she's hooha-ing on court, or dropping truth-bombs in what I can only describe as her bedroom voice.  It's a well-articulated raspy drawl that hovers just above a whisper.  It's bomb, is what I'm saying.

One thing I love about watching AAH or press conferences is that moment when a player gets asked tricky question, you're silently screaming the right answer in your head, and then they totally nail it.  It's like prepping a witness for the stand and seeing your witness totally nail their cross-examination.  I had one of those moments during Fran's presser.  One of the journos spent most of his/her time asking every single player about Serena and Venus.  This was part of his exchange with Fran:

Q: Do you miss them?  Do you feel like "this thing is wide open without Serena."  More fair for everybody?  A better chance to win any tournament you're in?

A: "Well yeah.  When I win the French Open, there was Venus and Serena.  For sure they are tremendous athletes but at the same time, we are other great competitors.  For sure we are gonna miss them."

YES.  FISTPUMP.  NAILED IT.  The minute he asked the question all I could think was "Wait, she won a Slam and Serena and Venus were there.  To her *any* tournament is wide open regardless."  You go on, Frank.

Also, your hipster glasses are awesome:

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

The Heat Is On.

You gotta ask before you use my tweets, dude.

After a very restless five-hour red-eye flight from SFO to Ft. Lauderdale, a quick 30-minutes train ride to Miami, and another 30-minutes of lovely chauffering by Victoria, I found myself at the very purple, very exciting, Sony Ericsson Open, a tournament that before yesterday I had only seen on TV. 

Despite the fact that main draw play has begun, the grounds were relatively empty, apart from the hoards of little rugrats running around the grounds, noshing on ice cream and hounding for autographs.  Yes, it was my favorite day of any tournament: Kids Day, where the random shrieks and cries of children never fails to make me jump out of my skin.  I love you little rascals, but seriously, WHY THE RUNNING AND THE SCREAMING.

The grounds aren't bustling with sweaty bodies yet (I suspect that will change starting today), so Tuesday afforded me a great opportunity to wander the grounds and get the lay of the land.  Even if you didn't want to wander, the layout necessitates it.  While some tournaments may centralize their practice courts so that you can get a view of four to eight at a time, Miami groups the courts in twos.  It's great because it gives you access to at least one side of each court (the courts are side by side), but it does require you to wander from pocket to pocket to see who's on each court, which can be fun from a scavenger hunt perspective, but exhausting from a "ZOMGITSSOHOTANDHUMID" perspective.  The grounds at Indian Wells are bigger, but I was in flip-flops the whole tournament.  This morning, preparing for another day at Crandon Park, I put on my sneakers. 

For the longest time, Miami has been known as "The Fifth Slam".  For whatever reason, maybe because of attendance, hawkeye, etc., Indian Wells seemed to wrestle that title away.  Having only been here for a day, and even though the crowds haven't come yet, Miami, by far, feels like The Fifth Slam.  Believe me, it pains me to say that.

It just feels more important.  From the big tents sponsored by liquor companies (Bombay Sapphire, Bacardi, Corona, Veuve Cliquot), to the huge corporate signage everywhere you go, the grounds look professional, the sponsors are names you actually recognize, and there's a chaotic energy amongst the fans that seems more Slam-like and less Masters 1000-like.  Even the heat and humidity serve to make me feel more like I'm in New York or Melbourne, and less like I'm on vacation.

Yet, despite it's Slam-like qualities, this is still a premier level tournament that provides you great access.  There's an outdoor player dining area (one of a few player lounges scattered around the stadium) where, if you were REAAAAAAAAALLY creepy, you can just lean against the chainlink fence and stare at players from, like 3 feet away.  But don't do that.  It's really really reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy creepy.  You'll still see players milling about, walking to practice, etc.  I saw Daveed jogging, unaccosted, to his practice court yesterday, fans stopping Ivo for pictures, and Judy sitting inside the pop-up Starbucks, chatting away as though it was her corner cafe in Dunblane. 

All in all, not a bad first day at a major tournament.  Expectations have been met.  Now let's see how the next two weeks go.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

 

Pic This: Welcome To Miami, Where Things Are...Different.

This was, quite literally, the first thing I heard and saw when I stepped on the grounds of Crandon Park. 

I...I...I don't know.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

But Do You Have Any Good Analrapists?

I'm bummed people clued her in.  It could have been very very fun.

 

You're Not Allowed To Do Draws Ever Again.

I was *thisclose* to rescheduling my flight to Miami to get there in time for today's draw ceremony.  I'm so glad I didn't.  I'm not sure I would have been able to hide my facepalming while trying to act professional.

Men's draw.  Ladies' draw.

• Moose, who is seeded fifth, got drawn into Nole's QUARTER.  If that wasn't bad enough, he's projected to clash with Isner and FeVer, in two battles of "Who sucks more at the tennis."
• Sam and Masha once again find themselves on a collision course, this time in the 4R.
• You have to love that Miami used the ATP rankings as of today: Fed's been drawn into Rafa's half.  His draw is clean until the semis, but we'll see if Rafa can keep his end of the deal.  He's got a potentially very tricky draw with Tomas, Dolgo, and Ivo lurking.
• Dinara and Vera could play in the 2R.
• Fernando and Tomic in the 2R pleeeeeeeze.
• Ana could get Kimiko again and is once again drawn in Kim's quarter.
• Heather Watson could get Mono in the 2R.
• AO Rematch:  Daveed and Milos in the 3R.
• Petko and Flavia could collide in the 3R.
• The OC could get Gilles in the 2R, then an All-American match-up with A-Rod.
• Delpo could get PEHK again and then a battle with a hobbling Sod.  Hmmm....
• The Ladies draw has some really great 4R and QF matchups if things hold: Sam/Masha, Sveta/Nails, JJ/Caro, are just a few tasty ones.

Alrighty.  Back to packing and saying goodbye to the dogs, two things I hate doing.

(Pic: Getty)

I Like Her Hair. That's About It.

Look, Serena looks great and I'm glad that she's in the ad. But you'll have to pardon me if I'm a little (nay, a lot) uncomfortable with the best female tennis player in the world being asked to throw on some S&M gear and bounce around as sex noises play in the background in order to sell a fucking video game ABOUT TENNIS.  Sell Serena.  Don't sell sex.

I know this says more about the testosterone-driven gamer culture but it's just disappointing.  I'm not disappointed with Serena.  I'm just disappointed that the ad agency thought this was the best way to sell the game.  They're probably right, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  She deserves more respect as a top-flight athlete. 

Double the Giggles, Double the Fun.

One of the biggest stories to come out of this year's BNP Paribas Open is how the doubles competition seemed to overtake the tournament.  You had the top four players playing with their countrymen, blitzing well-established doubles teams to make the latter rounds.  Fans were lapping it up.  The Murray Brothers on Court 3?  Packed.  Wondering why Stadium Court is empty during a night match?  That's because Rafa and Marc were on-court over on Court 2.  The fans were absolutely loving it.  It may be a novelty but it wasn't a throwaway.  Fans genuinely felt as though they were seeing something unique, fun, and of the highest quality.

So leave it to the last minute team (X-Man asked Dolgo to play 15 minutes before the deadline) to run through the competition, grinning and giggling while beating the Bryans, the Murrays, the Indo-Pak Express, and Team Switzerland, to hoist the trophy.  You want to know how great this team was?  They were converting fans left and right, as fans of their vanquished opponents would show up to their matches the next day, vocal and loyal.  They did it by having an infectious, joyful energy that you couldn't resist, while playing a dynamic and athletic style of doubles that Roger called "unconventional".  They pounded the ball at their opponents and scrambled in patterns that screamed "HOLYSHITWEHAVENOIDEAWHATWEAREDOING".  I suspect fans saw themselves in that haphazard style.

Check it:

So fun.  I hope someone uploads the video of the trophy ceremony.  Dolgo's giggle as he said it was especially cool to beat Roger is hilarious.

As for the ladies, Sania and Vezzie almost didn't take the court.  Vezzie's been struggling with a wrist injury all week, something that Sania's very familiar with.  Thank goodness they did.  They blitzed Bethanie and Meghan on their way to the title.

Ah, dubs.  They never show it on television but I always make it a point to watch whenever I'm at a tournament.  If you're coming to Miami be sure to fit it into your schedule.  Word is that Andy and Nole are teaming up.  Here's hoping that Sam and Fran do the same. 

(Pics: Getty)

Magical Mystery Tour

SERIOUSLY???

I'm still in a bit of shock.  I honestly can't believe Nole pulled off the come from behind win over Rafa.  I'm not sure why I can't believe it.  Clearly Nole's given me no reason to have any doubts about his game.  But after Rafa took the first set and Nole's body language seemed to indicate a tired and resigned boy, I thought it was just a matter of time.  I totally get the Serbian fatalism and I thought that Nole accepted the fact that his luck had run out and that he was ok with it running out against Rafa.  He just didn't seem to have the fire that he had yesterday.

But just as with Fed yesterday, Rafa was the one who blinked.  He struggled with his serve, serving 25% first serves in in the second set, allowing Nole's confidence to grow and giving him more and more looks at second serves.  At one point Nole would reel off six straight games, quite a feat considering Rafa had only been broken three times in the tournament.  It got to the point that Rafa turned negative, scowling after easy misses, barking at his box, and generally, to quote BG, "looking disheveled."

The win not only gets Nole yet another huge title this year, besting both Fed and Rafa back-to-back, but it breaks Nole's 0-5 streak against Rafa in finals.  It also earned him the deserved title of the best tennis player in the world right now, a title that would be much more tenuous had he lost to Rafa.

It's hard not to watch Nole these days and think "Well, your luck has to run out at some point, right?"  Indian Wells was all about Nole, both on court and off.  The kid has swagger.  Whether it was bageling opponents on court, yukking it up on the practice courts and field, or he and his team camping out in the middle of the player cafe/courtyard, laughing loudly and generally drawing attention to themselves, he has been ever-present.  I keep waiting (though not hoping) for the day that he pulls an Icarus and comes crashing down.  But he's on a 20-match win streak (dating back to Davis Cup) and it's actually 23 matches if you include Hopman Cup.  Other than these two matches against Fed and Rafa, he has looked absolutely untouchable, playing an unmatched level of tennis.  While there's no reason to think he can't run his streak to at least 27 in Miami, I can't shake that nagging feeling that it has to end soon. 

So let's enjoy the ride for now.  It's a pleasure to watch.

(Pics: Getty)

Fit to Hit.

"I know that if a player has to beat me, either she has to overpower me or she needs to stand there for hours and hours. That's mostly what happens if a player has to beat me.
It's a good feeling to have, because I feel that I'm in good shape. I can stand there for hours and I can take my chances."

That was Caro on Thursday in advance of her semifinal matchup with Masha and as much as we all like to give her shit about her seemingly weaponless game, it's pretty hard to argue with her assessment.  "Hit me off the court or outlast me.  Those are your options."

Today against Mono, that "or" turned into a very emphatic "and".  Caro dominated the first set, running down every ball and forcing misses from Mono. 

"See?  You can't hit through me."

With her back against he wall and recognizing her gameplan was fail (smart!) Descartes threw caution to the wind in the second, stepping into the court to blast the ball left and right.  Caro couldn't get the balls back with interest, Mono capitalized.  You know she's is in a good spot when she's standing two feet inside the court in the rallies.  To give full-credit to the Mathlete, it wasn't just a fine display of ball-bashing.  She came to the net, she mixed up the pace, and she smartly attacked Caro's forehand. 

"Oh, crap.  You're hitting through me."

But the knock on Marion hasn't been her ability to hit the ball.  I think she's proven over the time that she's one of the best ball-strikers if given the time to set up.  The knock is her fitness, which, while she's looking trimmer this year, has never improved to the point to make her a real threat in a tough three-setter.  I was shocked she made it to the finals at all.  She has a history of rolling through the early rounds of tournaments only to hit a wall around the quarterfinals.

"Well, you're going to have to outlast me."

It was clear through the first through games of the third that Mono was out of gas.  Her legs were heavy, she was breathing hard, and she just couldn't get any stick on her shots.  Caro meanwhile, was fit as a fiddle.  That was pretty much the story in this one:  fitness --> consistency --> win.

Credit to Mono for a fine run here and a return to the Top 10.  It'll be fun having her back in the mix.  Her brand of aloof-nuttiness is always fun and, I must say, admirable.  I get the sense that hers is a lonely world.  I always see her walking around tournaments alone and unrecognized.  She doesn't have a crew of countrywomen to hang with either.  As she pointed out in her post-match speech, her father is the only person in her box, while Caro's was overflowing with family and friends.  For whatever reason, rightly or wrongly (seriously, I'm not judging one way or the other), she's a misfit.  And goddammit if I don't love misfits.  I may not like your music, but I'll respect your ability to play it.

Congrats to Caro on arguably her biggest title of the year.  You have to credit the girl, even if begrudgingly.  She's doing everything she can do to quiet the haters.  With an injured Kim in Miami, she's gotta be the presumptive favorite, whether we like it or not.

And damn if that kit looks so much better when you cover up the ruffles.

(Pics: Getty)

Roaring 20s.

Bring it, boys. 

(Pics: Reuters, Getty, AP)

Joshua Joshovic.

This is Josh.  He's been my traveling this year.  He braved the heat and rain of Australia and on his first trip to Indian Wells, he went a little nuts.  You'll be seeing more of Josh, trust.

Much like his patron, Josh is a big fan of Serbs.

And they love him, too.  Dirty, Petko.  Dirty.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

"I've Got Blonde on Blonde, on My Portable Stereo..."

I'm sorry.  But I just cannot take you seriously with that ruffle-noose.

That's two comprehensive wins for Caro over Shrieko, this time a 1 and 2 beating in an hour and twenty minutes on a cold and gusty desert night.  After breaking her to start the match, Masha couldn't hold serve or do much to put Caro off, and the kid ran off with the set.  The second set was, impossibly, worse than the first.  Masha said Caro played solid and that she felt flat, to which I reply, "yuh-duh!!!!"

In fact, Masha's quite the oracle of wisdom these days.  She summed up the criticisms of Caro's inability to hit winners thusly:

"I don't think it really matters if you don't miss.  I mean, then why do you need to winners?"

BUT MARIAAAAAAAAAA!  It's SOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!  Also, you follow me on Twitter?

So it'll be Ruffles vs. Rene Descartes on Sunday.  Go Caro.  I guess.

(Pics: Getty, Reuters)

Classless.

First, she's not on Twitter.  Second, spell her name right.  Third, REALLY?  You think it's ok to include her Twitter handle in that tweet?

Blech.

"Revenge is a dish best served immediately and relentlessly."

Oh, ATP.  You're so cute.  You make us pretend to care in the early rounds, only to give us the juicy goods regardless. 

The men's semifinals at the BNP Paribas Open will feature two revenge match-ups between the four players to have won ALL the Slams since 2005.  First up at 11:00am is the newly maybe, hopefully, let's pray he's healed DelPo vs. a not-so-scintillating-this-week Rafa.  Rafa's lost three straight times to Delpo, perhaps most memorably (at least to me) in Miami 2009, where I saw Rafa unravel emotionally in a way that I had never seen nor seen since.  Delpo has been fighting off a cold/virus all week, but he got a walkover on Thursday over Tommy, which had to have helped. 

I regret to say that I haven't had a chance to see Delpo play live all week, so I can't really comment on his form.  But I feel like all I need to know is this:  He came back from 1-6 down in a tiebreaker against PEHK by simply deciding to hit the shit out of the ball.  It worked.  So...I'm guessing he's finding his power game.

I'm going to go ahead and tip Delpo here, simply because Rafa hasn't been all that impressive this week.  But hey, he competes, and 90% of the time, that's enough to notch the win.

The Battle of Vamos will be followed by the Battle for Number 2, as Fed and Nole clash for the third time this year, the winner getting the distinct honor of staring at Rafa's perfect ass.  Nole had a bit of a hiccup today against Reeshard, which only means that he was a few ticks below untouchable.  He fell behind in both sets and but shored up and reeled off a string of games in response.  Janko said it best:  He's got confidence falling out of his pockets.

Fed's had a pretty easy draw, especially after Stan rolled over today in a 2 and 4 drubbing in an hour.  Want to know how much Fed is in Stan's head?  Andrew Burton, who is here writing for Tennis.com, observed that Stan completely abandoned his usual ritual of taking 5 balls on his last service game.  He just took the first one the ballkids tossed to him and served.  That's an owned man right there.

Personally, I think you're an idiot to bet against Nole these days.  Having had the opportunity to observe him quite a bit in Perth, Melbourne, and now Indian Wells, I can tell you this:  The boy got swagga out the yin yang.  Never underestimate that.  The way he walks into the room these days, strutting around the player cafe, accomodating fan requests and soaking in the adulation, he just oozes that "it" factor.  I suppose some will say that he's always had it.  You'll get no argument from me.  But the difference in 2011 is that he *knows* he has it. 

On the difference between 2008 and 2011:

"Just inexperience, you know, a young tennis player who has made an incredible achievement winning a Grand Slam and then a couple of other major events, it maybe happened too fast for me and I was confused and didn't know what to do.  But now it's different."

It is.  You can see it.

Anyway, can't wait to see how this shakes out. 

(Pics: AP, Reuters, Getty)

 

Mono Won. Now About Those Thetans...

Mono cruised past Wicky to become the first Frenchwoman in to the BNP Paribas Open finals.  Good for her.  Sometimes it's nice to reminded that a player you don't necessarily like is actually quite good at tennis.  She's definitely proven that this week.  She has a chance to break back into the top 10 if she wins the title.

But whatever doubts or disdain I have for her on the court, I have nothing but love for her off-court.  Chick gives amazing quote.  From Matt Cronin's Ticker post:

Marion Bartoli claims that she has a 175 IQ. That IQ is higher the other published numbers of famous people, including Plato (170), Beethoven (165), Albert Einstein, Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking (160), the same as philosopher Immanuel Kant, but below that of chess players Gary Kasparov (190) and Bobby Fisher (187). Interestingly, Bartoli's father, Walter, is a chess buff.

"I hope to be that good in tennis one day,” she said with a laugh. "I did a test when I was younger, but I'm not really someone that is really telling everyone, 'Oh, I'm so smart.' I'm kind of hiding it. But that's how I am, you know.  It just comes naturally.  That's how I was born with."

Marion Bartoli and Lady Gaga: Born this way.

Of course, I've been having a go at her all day via Twitter:

It's a good day when you get to combine Scientology and Marion Bartoli into a good joke. 

(Pic: Reuters)

Required Reading

• Doug Robson, who's here in Indian Wells, drove all the way out to LA to talk to Serena.  And she let him in her house!  And said words!
• A-Rod was in fine form this week.
• Uncle Jamie gets bendy with Petko.
• Kim would have skipped Indian Wells if not for the Roadmap.  Don't look at me for sympathy.  She didn't have to play.  Hope she takes the time to get healed before clay.  But with Venus pulling out the Miami field looks like it might be weaker than the IW field. 
• A few people you may know get quoted by Uncle Jamie.
• One of the biggest things coming out of this year's BNP Paribas Open: Blockbuster Dubs.
• Dinara contemplated retirement.
• Tennis fans: we're never consistent.  That's what makes it fun and fascinating.
• Still hungry for sun-drenched Indian Wells pics?  Head on over to The Double Bagel.
• Can someone please get Quisner into some sort of media training?  They're gaining (more Sam than John) quite the reputation of giving crap post-loss pressers.
• Some news on Marko and Djordje Djokovic.
• The perfectly imperfect Ana.
• Indian Wells seduces another one.
• Dolgo and Petko blogged from Indian Wells.  Boo on BG for telling Petko she could go to In 'n Out in her PJs.  Lord knows I have.  Many, many times.
• Bethanie worked at Jim Rome's correspondent at IW.  Check out Sania's ring, dudes.  And nice cameo by Ana.
• Non-required reading: I'll be honest.  I couldn't watch this.
• Non-required reading: My sister Kim's dispatch from Tokyo on her food blog, Five Foot Eater.
• Non-required viewing: I have to imagine this is exactly what it looks like when Ana takes a bath.  She just flops about as Dragana hoses her down.  And then trips and falls.
• Non-required reading: To quote my sister, "Are bassets the new corgi?"  NEVER.  And yes.
• Non-required reading: AMAAAAAAAAZING.

"Try and look more you. Like, emo."

Well done sketch for Red Nose Day, the British equivalent of Comic Relief, aka "Giggles for Charity".

That kid rules. I wonder how much weed she smokes between takes.