Forty Deuce

That's How We Do.

Four hours and 46 minutes.  That's the longest women's match in Grand Slam history and it was played today, though to say it was "played" seems a complete misrepresentation of what actually happened when Sveta and Fran stepped onto Hisense Arena (YES IT WAS HISENSE) at 3:22pm in front of a scattered crowd.  The first two sets, which they split, were fine tennis, but nothing too special.  Both women got a set to showcase their game: Fran's variety and gutsy movement vs. Sveta's effortless power and angles.

Then the third set kicked off and the Hisense Hijinks kicked into gear, but this time for the good.  The third set lasted 30 games and took over three hours to complete.  And less anyone think this was what the WTA-haters would term "a choke-fest", let me and the every single person who watched this match assure you, it was not.  It was three hours of gutsy, high-quality tennis that left your mouth agape, your jaw slack, and your heart in your throat. 

Each player had chances to serve for the match, and in each instance the other stepped up, playing some gutsy points to break back to even the match.  Exhaustion clearly hit both players, particularly Fran, who had to call for frequent massages of her legs and rib cage area.  Sveta definitely looked to be the fitter player (all that off-season work was paying off) and my sense was that a win was inevitable.  I simply did not have faith that Fran had enough in the tank to pull this one off.  She looked almost punch-drunk on the changeovers, staring off into the distance, moving slowly.

Clearly I did not learn from Roland Garros that the only muscle Fran needs to win tennis matches is her heart.

She would valiantly fight of break points, serve out games to love, and run down everything Sveta threw at her.  The woman does not know the word "quit" in any language.  Even balls that were clearly out or clear winners, Fran made it a point to chase them at full-sprint, sending a message to Sveta that she was still in it and she would still fight.

Sveta: "At some stage I was like, what's the score? Who's serving? I was like, what's going on anyway here? I had no clue sometimes. It was so hard to count. I was like, who is up? She? Me?"  We lost track, too, Sveta.

Fran would eventually break and hold her serve, clinching the match on a netrushed forehand volley reminiscent of the many she sneaked in against Sam at RG.  The only emotion that sunk over me was disappointment.  Disappointment for Sveta for having to be on the losing end of such a well-played match and disappointment that the amazing match was over, and disappointment that a taxed and tired Fran would have to somehow recover to take on a well-rested Caro on Tuesday.

The post-match pressers were what you would expect.  Sveta was still a bit flummoxed and disappointed but overall fairly positive:

"The match could go either way so many times. I mean, I think it just was really a day of Francesca. We both fighted so hard the whole match, and the important moments she just played better. But statistically I also felt like I was better player on the court. I played better. Just very disappointing. Sometimes I guess it happens in tennis like it happened today, that key points, she just won it.

I'm proud of the work I've done.  I had all matches which I lost, but I just didn't close them. In Auckland I was 4 2 up against Peng in the third set. In Sydney I was 6 3, 5 3 up against Li Na. Here I had match points. I didn't close them but I'm there. It already makes me think positive. Last year I didn't win one top 10 player. I beat Stosur, Justine, which for me was a little bit headache to play her. For me, it's points to work harder and go forward."

And Fran?  Let's just say she was tired but had "big emotion".  She should.  The win moves her up to #4 in the world after all is said and done in Melbourne.

"You know, one has to win; the other has to lose for sure. But I think we played very high level all the match. But in the third set we give everything. So when we finish, I say Svetlana a really good job and you are great, fantastic. She say the same. We respect a lot each other."

As for whether she'll be ready for Tuesday's match against Caro:

If you ask me now, I say no. But, yeah, I'm young. I can run; I can do anything. Yeah, for Tuesday I will be -- I don't know how, but it will be good. Why not?

I want to make yello LiveStrong bracelets that say "Francesca Schiavone: "Why not?"

Good show, ladies.  If you didn't see the match, download and settle in for a clinic on competition, grit, and guts.  I think that would shut up the haters for a while.

(Pics: Getty)

Sunday OOP: ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY SERBIA, TA?

 

Nole's on Hisense.  I mean, of course he is.

Sunday's OOP.

Nails vs. Vika:  Talk about a tough one to call.  Nails is riding high and riding a wave of confidence here as she tries to defend her semifinal points.  Vika meanwhile has quietly but devastatingly made it through without too much fanfare.  I'm tipping Vika, but no result would surprise me here.

Petko vs. Masha:  The German will get the night match on Laver that she missed out on when Venus retired, and she'll surely talk it over with Julia Goerges.  As always, the match is on Masha's racquet.  I don't think Petko has the movement or the pace that Julia has so I'm thinking it's a straight setter to Masha.  But seriously, who knows what's going on with that serve of hers.

A-Rod vs. Stan: WIN, ANDY.

Nole vs. Nico:  If it wasn't for Hisense I probably wouldn't even track this match.  But it is Hisense.  Win or lose, if Nole walks out of there alive it will be a victory.

Sveta vs. Fran:  Two Slam champs not scheduled for Laver?  That kind of blows.  But I will be shocked, SHOCKED, if Sveta doesn't win this match.  I will also be very disappointed.  This is the point in the tournament where I put faves aside and start rooting for people who I think can actually win the tournament.  Fran is literally on one leg and she looked horrible after her straigth set win the other day.  I just don't think she has enough in the tank to win this tournament.  So go, Sveta.

Tomas vs. Fer:  I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS ON MCA!!!  Like, this is a total boon for hardcore ATP fans.  Both guys are playing well and I honestly don't know how it will go.  Based on form, I'll tip Berdych because he's been more impressive through three rounds.  But something tells me that Tipsy match lit a fire under Fernando and he's going to do something with this "second life".  Either way, I will endure the heat to sit in the stands for this one.  I think.

The Juniors start up tomorrow as well and seeing as how I only recognize two names in the draws, I guess I'll call them out:

Lauren Davis vs. Ashleigh Barty -- Let's see if the pint-sized phenom has recovered from her education in kickserves.

Genie Bouchard vs. Mana Ayukawa -- Hi Genie.

 

I'm Going To Like You Someday. But Not Yet. Not Yet.

Andy Roddick was asked about Ryan Harrison on Monday and he said something that's stuck with me.  "The stuff that makes him annoying now is going to make him really good someday."  Those words may apply to Harrison but the quote has popped in my head all week whenever I've heard, read, or seen anything about Bernard Tomic.

There is an arrogance about Tomic that just grates on you.  The way he struts around a court, pointing to his towel as if he's too big time to ask for it politely.  His sometimes lackadaisical attitude on court that projects to the world that he thinks he can win matches without even trying.  And of course there are his comments in the past, whining about having to play a late match on Laver, refusing a practice partner invitation from Lleyton, and even today after the match, saying that he will definitely break through the top 100 this year.  The shit just piles up and it absolutely grates.  It's been said before and I'll say it again: You just want to punch the kid in the face.

But when he applies that arrogance to his tennis, I can't help but melt.  His brand of intelligent, clever, witty tennis is exactly what made me fall in love with Andy Murray (well, and Andy's danshingly handsome mug, obvs).  To have the cockiness to think that you can feather a perfect drop shot on Rafa, or cut a slice that looks like a defensive shot, but actually clips the line to set up a winner, that takes a certain mindset.  "I'm better than you, I'm smarter than you, and you're never going to see this coming."  Sometimes you'll look like an idiot of the highest order, as Bernie did when he pulled the ripcord on a long rally by going for a forehand slice dropper that clipped the tape and caused an entire media room to either laugh or face-palm.  But other times you'll be praised as a tennis genius, who deigned see a shot that 99.9% of the tennis world couldn't even imagine existed.  That brand of tennis gives me a tennis boner every time.

It wasn't that long ago that Muzz was widely regarded as an arrogant, miserable cock who frustrated opponents, fans, and media with equal skill.  The difference is that Andy, over time, realized that he wasn't better or smarter than the other guys.  He identified what was keeping him from competing with the top guys and made a concerted effort to get stronger and faster (remember when he debuted his increased fitness by flexing like the Hulk right here in Melbourne Park two years ago?), improved his serve, and added more offense, embracing (even if it's still rather reluctantly) the willingness to hit winners when he had to.  But it took time for him to get there and being the arrogant asshole that he is (trust me, it takes one to know one) he had to do it on his own terms and not because someone from the sideline was yelling at him (*cough*BG*cough).

Tomic is talented.  There is no doubt about it.  To go 62 75 63 on Rafael Nadal (up 4-0 in the second even) is proof of that.  He ran Rafa absolutely ragged and instead of trying to junk him to death, which is what he's known for and what he did against Jeremy and Feli in the first two rounds, Tomic stepped up and tried to Moose the guy.  He has the ability to hit winners with angles that seem revelatory at times.  Just like Andy, what he lacks in pure speed he compensates for in his ability to read the game and anticipate not just the next shot, but the shot after that, and after that, and after that.  Whether you like him or not (ok, let's all just say not) you can't take your eyes off him when he plays.  I caught myself point after point staring at the TV with a furrowed brow, simply wondering "Jesus, what's he going to do next?"  His game is a curiosity and I'm completely hooked.

At some point, the arrogance will have to go.  He will have to realize that, despite the oohs and ahhs of the crowd and the wake of broken racquets and despondent glares left in the wake of his dispatched opponents, he's going to have to take some risks and make the leap.  He's just too talented not to.  That part is up to Bernie and his team.  ESPN reported that Tomic probably won't play Davis Cup despite the fact that Rafter wants him on the team and they insinuated that it was because of Tomic's dad.  Oh, stage-parents.  You're so adorable sometimes.

But the sky's the limit with the kid and he very firmly placed himself in the conversation alongside Ricardas Berankis, Milos Raonic, and Grigor Dimitrov as the next class of potential tennis greats.  But it's a long time off and it'll be interesting to see how Bernie & Co. handle his career going forward.  As Rafa said, when asked what advice he would give Tomic, "I can only tell him what I did.  Work."  You heard him, Bernie.  Get faster, get stronger, get fitter. 

Oh, and maybe eat some Humble Pie Quelys.  That's a thing, right?

(Pics: Getty)

 

What Do You Do?

All through the day I was getting shit via Twitter and email that I was being a total Debbie Downer regarding Sam.  That I was being one of those pessimistic fans who just talks down their faves' chances in order to insulate themselves from disappointment.  I'm not saying I don't do that.  But I definitely wasn't in this case.

Sometimes it's just about the matchups.  Rankings, past performance, history, it all goes out the window.  It doesn't matter that Sam's ranked #5 and Petra's ranked #28.  It doesn't matter that Sam was an RG finalist and Petra was a Wimbledon semifinalist.  And it didn't even really matter that Sam had an ok leadup while Petra won Brisbane. 

To me, what mattered was that Petra was a tall, flat-hitting, left-handed Czech who could clock the ball.  Her height would neutralize the kicker and the forehand, forcing Sam to hit more flat serves, which she would be more inclined to miss.  Her flat-hitting would expose Sam's movement issues.  And her left-handedness would make it easier for her serve to get to the Stosur backhand.  Even if Sam played well, I just didn't see this being a straightforward match at all.  As Sam Smith observed, there were a lot of potholes for Sam in this match. 

Sam didn't play poorly.  She actually played pretty well.  But just like the RG10 final, her opponent never shirked in the moment and she was playing as well as I have ever seen her play.  Sometimes there's not much you can do about that.  Sam definitely had her chances.  She led 3-0 in the first set breaker and 5-3 later.  But as it happens in tight matches, the whole thing can turn on its head with a missed first serve, or a decision to go cross court as opposed to down the line.  A backhand here, a forehand there, and next thing you know, you can count on one hand the shots that just didn't go your way.

I made a bet with Matt Cronin that Sam would hit more than 5 backhand winners in the match.  She hit 2.  I think I'm more annoyed that I lost the bet.  Then again, if I had won the bet I'm pretty sure Sam would still be in the tournament.  In otherwords, it was a really dumb bet.

Sam was clearly disappointed but, as always, had some perspective:

Yeah, I'm obviously very disappointed to not win. But I actually thought I played really well so... It's hard to walk off the court thinking you played well. It was so close, I mean, that first set.

Don't really know how I lost it, to be honest. Felt like I started playing a bit better and was probably on top of her and then all of a sudden it was gone and I was a set down. I thought she played extremely well pretty much the whole way through.

She really really did.  I sat there racking my brain, trying to figure out what she should differently in the match, but my limited tennis brain couldn't come up with much.  Slicing more seemed to be effective but Petra started to read that pretty well and got up to the ball quickly.  Drop shotting?  The kid has dropped some kilos and her improved movement showed.  Petra's tennis was just better than Sam's tonight.  You gotta tip your visor and your cap (Sam wore both) to the kid.

I think I did everything right leading into the tournament, during the tournament, and I can't say that, you know, I didn't do this or that or was disappointed in how I handled that or any of it. You know, from this time a year ago I think I've played a lot better, handled myself a lot better and everything else, but I lost a round earlier. What do you do? That's sport, I guess.

Yeah.  I guess.

(Pic: Getty)

I'd Blame The Heat, But Isn't It Always Hot Here?

Today was a weird day.  Walk with me.

First off, it was Heineken Day at the Australian Open which basically means, if I understand it correctly, cheap beer.  If you had a grounds pass you could get in and drink pretty cheaply on site.  So things were already kicking by the time I arrived at noon. 

The sun was out and the Ozone-less Aussie sky was beating down pretty good for much of the day.  The heat only contributed to the odd happenings around the grounds.  I'm sure the crowd over at Court 6 was settled in just to watch some hot Pico on Feli doubles action with a side of thigh porn.  But you knew it wasn't going to be that straightforward when Pico came out with his hair tied back like Baggy. 

So of course we didn't get much hot Pico on Feli action.  Instead, we got gross Pico/Feli on Mahesh action.  DID NOT WANT. 

I was watching the match and my take on the haps is this:  Pico and Feli took exception to Leander and Manesh yelling "Vamos" after points, taking cheap shots at them, and there are some reports that Leander kept trying to body check Pico on the changeovers.  After Mahesh "Vamosed" loudly after Pico missed an easy volley late in the second set, all hell broke loose.

Feli jumped in and all four started barking at each other at the net, getting into each other's faces.  Pico tried to pull Leander aside to discuss the sitch and Pascal jumped down off his chair like Batman and tournament officials got into it and started to separate the four.  Pico got mad that the officials were physically pushing and pulling him away when all he was trying to do was talk it out with Mahesh. 

Of course the cuties would lose and Feli refused to shake hands and words were had.  I guess I'll let the boys explain themselves:

I mean, we were playing, match was quiet, and one of the players, he was trying to provoke us all the time. At one point, we were a little bit tired of the style he was using on the court, and that's all what happened.  But at the end, I was talking to Mahesh and everything was fine. Nothing else to comment. 

He was trying to provoke us all the time. I know it's the style he been using the past 20 years. But that's okay. Nothing else.

What say ye, Mahesh?

We always do play a very aggressive style of doubles. That's what's given us all our good results. They, being two singles players, they've probably never seen it before. They probably were taken aback a little bit. They were probably not happy that we used the word 'vamos'. I don't think they have a patent on that one. Small things like that added up. Kept adding to their frustration that we were playing good tennis as well.

Unfortunately, believe it or not, this is not the first time it's happened to me. When Leander and me were playing Orsanic and Oncins in Dubai 95, they got upset because we used 'vamos'. This was in 2000. Two years ago when I was playing González and Acasuso at the French Open, I used 'vamos' and they got upset. I've been using it for a long time. If these guys are going to get upset, I'm going to continue to use it.

LEANDER PAES: At the end of the day, whether it's 'vamos' or 'allez', we're Indian, nobody has patent, we're saying it to each other.

I would probably side with Leander and Mahesh if they didn't come off as so damn smug in their presser.  I suppose being on the winning side earns you the right to be smug.  They're right, the Spaniards/Argies don't "own" the language, just like the Serbs don't own "ajde".  But don't pretend that you don't know what you're doing and that you're all innocent and taking the high road.  I saw the match, dudes.  You, Mahesh, were being an intentional prick. 

From there I tuned in to see Vera cruising over Lucie, having pocketed the first set and up 4-2 in the second, only to double fault to give Lucie the break back.  From there Lucie found a whole 'nother gear and would force a tiebreak that was tight and involved a lot of fantastic rallies.  Finally, Vera would hit an incredible lob winner reminiscent of the one Kim hit against Venus at the USO10 that got her match point and she was able to close it out.  But it was very close to calamity on Laver.

So there I am, reclining in my chair, when I tune over to watch Moose vs. GGL, and this is what I see on the second point:

As Andy would say after he cruised to victory in an hour and 20ish minutes, "It's a bit embarrassing."

Of course, while Andy was plastering GGL, Jo was running out of gas against Dolgopolov.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  But yes.  He seems to have picked up a lower back issue and after fighting as best he could for three sets, he dropped the last two 1 and 1.  So super cutie Jo is out and Dolgo lives on to take on The Sodness Monster.  Barf.

Oh, but it would get weirder.

Big John was locked in a dogfight with Marin "The last 10 months never happened" Cilic and he looked well on his way to winning when he battled back and eeked out the third-set tiebreaker to go up 2-1.  But as is the case with most of John's matches, it came down to a few points and with the sun beating down, John looked gassed.  Instead of just blasting and trying to put pressure on Marin, he sat back, content to rally and hoped for Marin to miss.

Marin didn't and the match went into extra innings, the first five setter that Big John would play since Wimbledon.  Marin would finally win 9-7 in the fifth.  John was absolutely gutted in press.  He would have played Rafa. 

To round out the day's weirdness, The Cone actually made a match of it with Kim (though it was more Kim being wonky than Cone doing anything other than monologue in French and slam her racquet a bunch), Marcos retired in his match with Melzer with a PINKY INJURY, and Makarova and IVETA BENESOVA are in the fourth round after they each bounced seeds, Nadia and Pavs, respectively.

Did I mention Robbie decided to screw with me and dropped into the Live Blog?

And this all happened before the sun went down...

(Pics: Getty)

 

Oh, God. She Can Drive.

They grow up so quick. 

Happy 17th, Robbo.

(Pic: Laura's Twitter, Hopman Cup Site)

Forty Deuce Live Blog: AO Day 6

Here we go again. Jump on in. The waters warm and the sharks are circling.

Saturday OOP: AND I'M FREAKING OUT.

I'm making this really pathetic and annoying whiny noise right now.  I'm just so worried.

Here's your OOP.

Moose vs. GGL: WHY DO I PICK PLAYERS WHO ARE SO JEKYL AND HYDE???  This is starting to get into that part of Grand Slam tournaments where I start to worry that Andy shows up and plays crap.  But really, he should get this in straights.

Sammy vs. Petra: Tough match-up for Sam if Petra's on her game.  Flat hitting could spell bad news for the improved-but-still-slow-footed Sammy.  FRAZZLE.

Rafa vs. ATomic: KILL HIM RAFA.

Flavia vs. Shahar:  Flavia hasn't been particularly impressive so I'm going to go with Shahar.  But trust me, I don't want to.  But the winner plays Sam and we all know Flavia pwns my innocent little corgi.

Melzer vs. Baggy:  Bags was impressive against Delpo, but I suspect this will be a really good match.

Dolgo vs. Jo: GO AWAY, UGLY.

Isner vs. Cilic:  Tall, lanky, and cute in their own way.  It's like Puppy Bowl 2011.

Misha vs. Raonic:  Raonic was scary impressive against Llodra.  If he can consistently bomb those serves, Canada might lose its collective shit.

I know, I know.  I'm being dumb for being worried.  BUT I DON'T THINK I AM.  I just want her to play to her seed, guys.  Once she gets to the quarters I'll be sunshine and rainbows, I promise.

(Pic: Getty)

Nonsense Arena

I can't even bother making this stuff up anymore. Viktor retired due to a stomach problem and the court had to be resuscitated. It's ridiculous.

It's All Downhill After 30.

I'm only speaking from experience.

Poor Venus.  She gamely made her way out to Laver, gingerly warmed up, and listlessly got broken by Petko.  Then, trying to return a serve down the tee, she lunged and screamed in pain, walked to the chair, requested the physio, had a conversation that involved the words "sharp pain", walked over to Petko, gave her a hug, packed her back and walked off the court to retire from a Slam match for the first time in her career.

And people booed.  Fuck them.

She said that she hoped for a miracle and that maybe, just maybe, the adrenaline would kick in and she'd be able to get through the match.  But it was too painful and she couldn't go on.  Oracene was in the press conference and in response to a question about whether or not Venus consulted any doctors to determine whether she should play tonight, she chimed in and said she didn't think Venus' should have come to Australia in the first place.  Funny, but rough.

On when she expects to return to the tour: "When I come back to play next time, I'll be a 100%. So I won't be back until whenever that is. Hopefully, who knows, maybe it'll be for Fed Cup."  But don't worry, the end ain't here yet.

"I'm just going to focus obviously on getting healthy and coming back. Because I love tennis and I've got a lot of great tennis in me. I love my job, so no end in sight."

Good to hear.  Now we'll just have to wait and see.

So Petko backs up her 4R performance at the USO with a 4R here in Melbourne, benefiting both times by a retirement in the third round.  She was definitely amped for the match and said she was really looking forward to play Venus because you don't get a chance to play a Champion all the time.  She also hopes that she hasn't become a weird jinx at Slams for her 3R opponent.  But she was really happy to be in the fourth round.  I'm happy for her, too.

But shit.  She's got Pova next.  EEK!

(Pic: Forty Deuce)

Introducing, Julia Goerges.

As predicted, the Goerges/Masha match was a dogfight, with Masha coming through in three.  But it was a real coming out party for Julia Goerges who, prior to today, was probably more known for being the girl Masha hand-picked to wear her Nike line.  Watching the match you understood why.

She pretty.

And she can play herself some badass tennis, too.  Julia Goolia was hitting winners from everywhere around the court and through a set and a half (and then some) she was most impressive.  Not only was the skill there but the fight as well.  Finding herself down 0-4 in the third, she would keep pressing, fistpumping, and gritting her teeth, eventually breaking back and getting things to 3-4 and forcing Pova to hold her serve, which, let's face it, is kind of 80% of the battle with Masha. 

Against most other players, Julia's grit alone might have won her the match.  But no one outcompetes Maria Sharapova.  Once again, she wasn't at her best but she dug deep on the big points and even ended this sucker with an ace.

The two shared themselves a nice handshake at the net (seriously, the nicest handshake I've ever seen from Masha) with Masha saying "Good match.  Good fight."  Quite a compliment from the fighter herself.  They then retreated to the lockerroom to strip down and roll around in hot oil for a while. 

Platonically, of course.

(Pic: Forty Deuce, Getty)

Pic This: Don't Ask.

Apparently this is what you do after your homeboy Viktor retires against you with a stomach injury.  You dance.  Shirtless.  On a court.  Somewhere. 

I wuff you.

(Pic: AP)

Revenge of the Muppet.

Caro took out Domi in a not-so-much-dominating performance, but whatever.  She won and she's into the next round to play Sevastova.  Yes, Sevastova. 

But the real news out of the Wozniacki camp was her presser, which was fairly ballsy and savvy, I think.  Word got back to her of a couple of North American journos basically calling her bland and calling her out for giving cliched pressers.  I know she wasn't talking about me but I also know she very easily could have been.

So how does a 20 year-old kid hit back?  By giving this presser, which was in my opinion, fantastic.

There's been chatter all over the place regarding the thing.  I've heard people say it was passive-aggressive, I've heard people say she pwned the media, and rather shockingly, I've heard people criticising her for saying anything and acknowledging the criticism. 

Eff that, man.  I think she handled it perfectly.  Kudos to you, Caro.  We already know you're media savvy.  You and your team played this one just right.

But you still look like a doily.  And you sound like a Muppet.  But I like you a little bit more today than I did yesterday.

(Pic: Getty)

Nervous Laughter.

Let's go ahead and let Sveta go ahead and kick this post off:

I kind of had a perfect match, 6 4, 5 4, serving. Didn't have any breaks. Just had few breakpoints. Serving good.  Then the nerves game. Then started to do a little bit of show time, you know, it's like comedy. Women's drama going on.

The one thing you can always say about Sveta is that she's not delusional.  Honest to a fault, the woman always gives good press.  In this case she was, as she usually is, dead on in her analysis of the match.

Cuz fer sears, shit was crazy on Laver this afternoon.

Sveta indeed played a perfect match.  Despite not even attempting to hit any booming serves, which we all know she's capable of doing, she didn't get broken once before she served for the match at 5-4.  As my viewing companion watched through our facepalming fingers, calamity ensued.  Sveta got nervy, Justine sensed it and stepped up her game, and from there, Sveta would fail to serve it out TWICE and eventually the two would play a second-set tiebreak. 

I say "second-set tiebreak" only as a descriptor.  Let's face it, if Sveta didn't win this in two after serving for it twice, there was no way she was winning it in three.  The tiebreaker was tense and I finally turned to my viewing buddy and whispered, "Why does this feel like a decisive third set tiebreak?"  He responded with a knowing laugh.

Because with Sveta, you just know, you know?

If we thought calamity was the word of the day when Sveta was serving for it, then it was calamity-plus in that tiebreaker.  Justine started with a double-fault and from there the ladies just could not hold their mini-serves.  The tiebreaker was, to be frank, absolute crap.  But when Sveta had match point at 6-4 it seemed to light a fire under Juju's little-boy ass and she played some of the gutsy tennis that is just so damn annoying.

"It was like a lottery a little bit the tiebreak. It was crazy," Sveta would say afterwards.  The two would battle back and forth, with a huge rally at 7-7 that had me exclaim under my breath, "THAT IS WHAT CHAMPIONS DO."  Sveta would eventually close it out 10-8 in the breaker on a blistering forehand that seemed to clip the baseline.  Not even she believed it was in.  But it was and Justine faced her earliest Slam exit in six years.

Sveta gets an ailing Fran in the next round to take a crack at taking out Caro in the quarters.  She had some hilarity in her presser:

Q. Francesca say that you move better this year and you're more quick in a way?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I didn't run some sprints with her, I don't know why she knows this.

Q. She looks your matches.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Oh, okay.

Q. You lose weight?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: The people say to me, yeah I did lose some weight. I don't know, looks like to me as well. It's a little bit easy, less trunk to carry on, so...

No, I mean I been working hard and trying to take care of my foot. Just great.

Q. And can I ask you something about you and Francesa? You're friends outside of court. She always says nice things about you and you about her.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I didn't start to talk about her yet. How did you know?

Q. In the past.

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Maybe I want to do big news. (Laughter.)

Q. We're waiting for it?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: No, I'm quiet; I'm nice. With Francesca, we're great. We have great friendship. It's like but we both are athletes, and both know clearly when we go out to the court. We're animals and kind of fighters against each other.

This is pretty clear. It's not going to disturb our friendship. It's going to be nice match. Yeah, I mean, she's a great personality. I have lots of fun with her.

Q. Who's going to bite the other one first?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: I hope I try to bite her first, but this is a fight, another one I'm looking forward to. Never know.

Q. Do you remember anything in particular of your previous matches with Francesca Schiavone?

SVETLANA KUZNETSOVA: Yeah, we play Fed Cup and I lost. We had kind of not understanding, but we had talk about it afterwards in the locker room. We didn't talk for some time. I didn't shake her hand.

So after we spoke in the locker room, so we are completely over it. I said sorry or whatever. We just talked. She misunderstands me; I misunderstand her. First me, I misunderstand and I didn't shake and she got pissed or whatever. It's women's stuff. But it's women's mentality or whatever it is.

In the end we are fine. So it's great.

Bite away, Sveta.  I would love to see you add to your trophy collection.

(Pic: Getty)

Pic This: Has It Really Only Been Four Days?

Has it really only been four days?  It feels like a week already, to be honest.  But it's been pretty great so far, even if I feel as loopy as that girl looks.

You know how there are some guys you look at and you're like "Oooh.  I bet you he'd be total gentle and kind in the sex."

Yeah, Lleyton is not that guy.

 

You can always count on some good MaKiri Grit Face when she comes through in a tight three-setter.  Always.  Couldn't follow it up though, and she's out to Iveta today.

The Petko Dance has gone interpretive, guys.

 

I Stand By My Answer.

During today's lovely Live Blog, the tennis got a wee bit boring and so, as is the Forty Deuce way, the chat devolved into a game of Marry, Boff, Kill.  Someone posed the ever impossible trifecta of Judy, Maggie, or Andy.  After much thought (2 seconds) I settled on my answer: Marry Judy, boff Maggie, kill Andy.

I stand by my answer:

She rules.

And let's not getting into the fact that I committed to effing a dog.  The dog's got personality.  Personality goes a long way.

 

pleasebeokpleasebeokpleasebeopleasebeok

Delpo's gone, out in four sets to Baggy.  But that's not the point.  He called the trainer to check his right wrist.  THE WRIST.  He ended up playing fine afterwards, cranking serves and hitting through his forehand.  And he said afterwards that it was just to be safe and that he was fine.

But...augh.

(Pic: Getty)

Friday OOP: Wherein Shit Gets Ridic.

Looking at these matchups there's a definite potential for an insane third round.  It kicks off tomorrow with a number of must see matches. 

Here's the OOP.

Caro vs. Cibulkova: A rematch of their first rounder in Sydney, where Domi dominated.  Expect a Caro win in straights.  She should be, and will be, out for revenge.  Dress notwithstanding, she's looked good this week.

Justine vs. Kuz:  Justine's been solid through the week and I honestly don't think Kuz will take her down.  For no other reason than she's Kuz.  But this one should feature some great hitting from two vets.

Stan vs. Gael: I am sure this will be a good tennis match.  I, however, will be eating dinner off-site instead.  You couldn't pay me enough.

Venus vs. Petko:  The old lady is ripe for the pickin'.  But Petko wasn't hitting the ball all that well against Anne and less we forget, she's Serbian.  I wouldn't put it past her to nutcase her way out of the tournament. But I would love to see her piss everyone off by doing the Petko dance if she wins.  Because heaven forbid she should do it in front of Venus.  [/sarcasm]

Viktor vs. Novak: As long as one of them walks out alive, we're good.  But get it, Nole.

Masha vs. Goerges:  Goerges is on a relative tear in the last four months and is a dangerous hitter.  Meanwhile every match is a rollercoaster for Masha and her shoulder.  Should be a battle on Hisense.

Kei vs. Fernando:  This could be interesting.  If Fernando is on he should have no problem with Kei.  But the Asians have had an inspired run here so far in Melbourne.

Big Berd vs. Gasquet:  Seems like a highlight match from two years ago.  But you never know what Ricky is going to bring these days.  I'll tap Tomas but be keeping an eye out for the score.

I have a gut feeling we won't see upsets tomorrow (I know, I just totally contradicted my own post).  Then again, I could just be hungry and confusing my tummy sensations.  It happens.

(Pic: Getty)

 

 

 

"I Don't Like Dry Lips Stubbsy. They Have To Be Nice and Soft When I Play The Points."

DEAD.

Sammy Songs.

Sam has looked fabulous through two matches on Laver in front of packed home crowds.  Most impressive has been her improved movement.  Chick can actually kind of stop on a dime and change directions now and she's doing a lot of shuffling and taking tiny steps to get into position.  I like what I see.  She'll have a tough test against Kvitova next.

The same boys from the US Open are here to sing along and get the crowd going.  Here, in order, are the Sammy Cheers from tonight:

• "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy!  Oi! Oi! Oi!"  A classic and still my favorite.
• A crew of girls in white tank-tops that spelled out "SAMWOW" with green and yellow pom poms, spelling out SAMWOW like it was Bring It On.
• "Aussie fans in the stands if you hear us clap your hands!" A universal cheer, I'm guessing.
• "We love Sammy, yes we do. We love Sammy, how bout you?"  A tough cheer if you can't rely on a response.  Not so much a response tonight.  Get in the game, Aussies.
• "What is love?  Sammy don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more."  Sung when she's up 40-0.  Well done.
• "Boom!  Shake shake shake the room!  Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, BOOM!"  Sung on aces. Nice.
• "Ole Ole Ole Ole, Sammy's Hot Hot Hot!"  Giggles.

Well done, boys and girls.  Here's hoping the crowds down the road get into it, too.

(Pic: Getty)

Can't You Just Top Off at a Buffet or Something?

Nalby retired down 16 06 02 to Berankis.  Official reason: Empty.  No really.

I've seen that belly, Nalby.  You ain't empty for shit.

(Pic: Getty)

It's On.

ATomic takes out Feli in three sets and will face Rafa next, most likely in a night match on Laver. 

Show him how the real men do it, Rafa.

(Pic: Reuters)

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Pic The Ways.

You guys.  Cones is into the third round, taking out MGMT today.  I have a dumb affinity for Alize.  Primarily because she always, ALWAYS, gives good pic.

Do the damn thing, Cones.

She's got Kim next.  Snicker.

(Pics: Getty)

Burn It. Burn It Down.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???

Hisense Arena claimed the tennis lives of two more Serbs this afternoon, as JJ and Bojangles went down to Peng and Bepa, respectively.  That's another early-round loss for JJ, who's gotta be concerned about the state of her game and her ranking.  She's got Indian Wells, Rome and RG SF points to defend over the next 6 months and it wouldn't be a shock to see her ranking plumet into the 20s if she can't get it together.  She just doesn't look like she knows what she wants to do out there tactically and the frustration sets in quite quick. 

JJ was up 4-1 in the first set and seemingly cruising before she lost her way and let Peng back into the set.  JJ began to back off a bit and Peng stepped up, hitting low and flat and keeping the ball out of JJ's strike zone.  Once Peng got into the match JJ retreated, playing more passively and either refusing to step in to attack when she needed to, or pulling the trigger too early and missing the shot.  It's the same old story for her really.  I feel like I've written up that match analysis at least five times by now.

With JJ and Ana out, Bojangles was the last Serb standing.  Stand she did for 45 minutes, as she quickly showed her solid game of finding angles and hitting near the lines.  I was feeling pleased as punch (as much as I could as she was beating up Bepa) that Bojangles was proving me clairvoyant.  She took the first set easily, 6-2.

But then Bepa, being the nerd that she is, got figured Bojangles' game and started to add a bit more variety to her shots.  She also used her legs, running down everything she could to put pressure on Bojangles to hit harder and closer to the lines.  The legs worked, and Bepa was able to come back and virtually cruise to a three set win. 

A really solid win for Bepa and a lot to be positive about for Bojangles after her Australian swing.  She's going to bag her first title this year.  I just know it.

But back to Hisense.  Nole and Viktor are the only two Serbs left in the singles main draw and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, they're playing each other tomorrow and they're scheduled for Hisense.  My prediction?  The building collapses and they're both out of the tournament.

Do NOT go near Hisense tomorrow.  You've been warned.

(Pics: Getty)

BOOBIES.

As if this weren't golden enough, apparently ESPN reran the interview and bleeped "boobs". In a cable broadcast. At 11:30pm on a weeknight.

Why do you insist on embarassing yourselves, ESPN? I mean, your actual coverage of matches (or lack thereof as it were) takes care of it fore you. You really don't need to be shooting yourself in your own tit, too.

Forty Deuce Live Blog: AO Day 4

Her Off-Season Training Didn't Prepare Her For This.

Um, I kinda love this show. Mainly for the Lleyton dig at the end.

Thursday OOP

Oh, Lordie.  It's going to be another long night on Laver.

Nads vs. Molik: I didn't get to see *the* dress in the first round.  Might as well take the chance now.

Stosur vs. Dushevina: SamWatch 2011: Pressure is a Privilege I Politefully Decline, continues.

DelPo vs. Baggy: So long as you both are able to walk off the court, it's a win.

JJ vs. Peng: It's JJ.  Who the fuck knows?

Tomic vs. Feli: Tomic is totally going to win.  YOU JUST KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN.

Bojangles vs. Vera: Upset alert.  I have Vera going out here.

Sorana vs. Shahar: Please don't kill the little chipmunk, Shahar.

Isner vs. Steps: A potentially tough match-up for the Big Man, but I expect him to get through.  He's too cute not to.

Nalby vs. Berankis: Two days after playing to a packed house on Laver, Nalby gets sent to Court 6???  Anyway, this could be a tough match against the young Lithuanian upstart that everyone has their eye on.  I've never seen Berankis play.  Looking forward to it.

Kleybs vs. Halep:  Upset alert?

Chakky vs. Kvitova:  This would be a great win for Chakky.  Whip your hair, girl.

(Pic: Getty)

 

Well At Least It's Not Mono.

 

I'm going to guess that Walter's "tennis balls taped to your heels" drill off the table for a while.

You can't catch all the action when you're running around the grounds, so I obviously didn't watch the Bartoli/Manasieva match.  I assumed that Mono would roll.  She dropped a double bagel on Tax Garbin in the first round and she was 4-0 up on the hard-hitting Manasieva, whom I had seen at USO qualies where she lost to Robbie.  That was 16 straight games for Mono.  So I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw her finally drop a game at 5-1 and call the trainer.  I mean, you would chuckle (ok fine, I scoffed and guffawed) too.

But it turns out that, to the shock of no one, I'm an asshole.  Mono would lose the match and, as it turns out, L'Equipe reports that she's suffered a tear in her calf muscle that will take her out of competition for six weeks.

So sorry for laughing, dude.  That blows.

(Pic: Getty)

I'm French and I am Fast. Welcome To My Crazy Game of Chicken.

Pfft.  You bastard.

It was five sets of scintillating tennis.  For two sets, Fed seemed absolutely untouchable, and the inevitable beatdown seemed...inevitable.  Realizing that continuing to play within his comfort zone would only lead to another third-set whacking, Gilles stepped it up and reminded everyone why was 2-0 against Roger and has the ability to beat anyone on any given day.  For the remainder of the match he would walk the tightrope of going for winners while still playing patiently and intelligently. 

It worked.  Fed's groundies began to let him down and the rallies evolved into mini-games of Chicken.  The two would softball back and forth, changing angles and spins, until one decided to pull the trigger, which led to a mad scramble to see who could come up with the more ridiculous get and winner.  Little Chicken Legs would take the next two sets, rather shockingly, and force a deciding fifth.  The shot-making, the movement, and scrambling was jaw-dropping.  Check out the highlight reel.  You won't be sorry.

But all it takes against Fed is one bad game, one bad point, and for Gilles, after running around for three hours, the fatigue and the pressure would cause some rough misses in that last set to give Fed the break he needed to finally serve it out.  Gilles made him earn it for sure, saving four match points (serving to stay in, he dug out of 0-40 hole to hold) before Fed finally ended it on an ace.

Afterwards, Gilles was, as he always is, thoughtful and good-humored.  When asked whether he could take positives out of the way he was able to play Fed he said yes but cursed the draw, bummed that he was playing well, had a chance to make a run here, but drew Fed in the second round. "The problem is that I left second round. Tomorrow you will forget it," he said with a chuckle to no one in particular.

Forget it?  How could we forget it?  Just like Ana you fought valiantly, showed so much heart, and went down swinging, beaten by the better player on that day.

Never forget, people.  Never forget.

(Pics: Getty, Reuters)

 

Numb and Neutral.

What's the best way to cope the day after your favorite player plays an epic three setter, saves match points, only to lose?  Crawling back under my covers this morning didn't seem like a viable (or healthy) option.  I perused the order of play on my tram ride to Melbourne Park and came up with a game plan:  I was going to watch matches that didn't require me to pick sides or root for any players.  I just didn't have it in me to get emotionally attached to any matches today and I certainly didn't have the capacity for heartbreak or disappointment. 

Luckily, two matches fit the bill: Fernando vs. Janko and Petko vs. AKO.  I like all four players, I'm fine if any one of them win, and since they were playing each other, I was ok if any one of them lost.  This seemed like a fool-proof plan.  I could just sit and enjoy the tennis and just hope and root for each player to put in a good performance.

After strolling the grounds to soak in some practice courts (I saw Big John smiling and chatting up some fans as he signed autographs after practice) I returned to the scene of the crime: Hisense Arena.  It was another overcast day as I settled into a chilly dome for Fernando vs. Janko.  I made it a point to avoid the seat I was firmly lodged in for almost three hours yesterday.  Post-traumatic stress disorder is real and it must be managed.

For two sets Janko was, as he tends to be, early-round-Slam Janko.  He was hitting his serve and going for his shots and Fer just couldn't find his range or figure out how to get him out of his rhythm.  It was kind of a bummer, actually.  I wanted to see a good match and Fernando wasn't obliging.  It was looking like the men's side would suffer their first top seed exit.  He was at times frustrated, at times listless, and at times, racquet-breaky. 

But somewhere along the way -- maybe it was all the Serb flags in the crowd -- Janko remembered that he is Serbian.  Serbs just don't do straightforward.  Serbs do drama.  And there has been no bigger or better stage for Serbian drama in the past 24 hours than Hisense Arena.

So Janko would find himself, after dropping the third set, twice serving for the match in the fourth set.  In fact, he would have three match points.  Somewhere in those three match points, Fernando would twist his ankle and get gimpy.  And yet.  AND YET.  Janko would choke on a backhand volley that, instead of putting away, he put back into the middle of the court to give Fer a chance to pass.  He did, and it was all downhill from there.  Janko would blow the rest of his match points, Fernando would break to force a tiebreak, which he won 7-0, crushing forehands left and right.

From there the Serbian fatalism that I have come to know and love/hate kicked in and you just knew it was over.  Fernando would drop a bagel in the fifth set, crushing forehands and serves, and Janko looked like he would rather be anywhere than Hisense.  I knew the feeling.  He said afterwards that he was "dead in the legs".  Probably true, but he was dead in the heart, too.

It was a disappointing end to the match for sure.  I would have loved to have seen these two play at their best.  But it happens and after Janko blew that one MP that he should have converted the result was inevitable. 

Good win for Fernando, though.  Not sure how this match will get written up but I wouldn't label the win an "epic comeback".  I mean, Fernando definitely stepped up a bit, but by then Janko was long gone.  Hopefully it knocked something loose in Fernando's head and he plays better going forward.  It was a rather shocking performance after his masterful destruction of Rainer Schuettler on Monday.

But the match served it's purpose.  I was able to sit there and watch some good tennis without any frazzling or real vested interest.  So go me.  My plan was working.

I bookended the day (or at least I thought it would be the bookend) with Petko vs. AKO on Court 3.  Again, a match that I could be happy about either way.  Anne has been on the brink of retirement and had a great qualifying run to get into the main draw here to get her back into the Top 100.  A spot in the third round to face a possibly gimpy Venus would be HUGE for her.  But then there's Petko, who's trying to kick off her year positively after a pretty heartbreaking 2010. 

You could tell from the get-go that this match meant a lot to these two, who are good buddies off the court.  I mean, of course they would be good buddies.  Awesome people find awesome people and become friends.  Those are the rules of the universe. 

Anne came out of the blocks on fire, moving really well and playing steady, patient tennis.  She would take the first set convincingly, 6-2.  But after Petko left the court for a toilet break and then had to call an MTO at the first change to get her ankle taped (she twisted it in the first game of the second set), Anne cooled off a bit.  It was a tense second set but you got the impression that Petko was going to be able to pull away.  Anne's a fighter and she broke her while she was serving for the set, only to be broken back and eventually lose the second set.  From there it was all Andrea, who ran away with the third 6-0 to send her good buddy packing.  Another disappointing end to an otherwise well-played match, but no real disappointment from me.  I'm looking forward to the Petko/Venus third rounder.

I came back to the media center with a bit of pep in my step.  I felt recharged and ready to go for tomorrow's day of stress.  I thought that would be the end of the day. 

Noooooot quite...

(Pics: Getty, AP, Reuters)

It's Sad To Say Goodbye.

l. to Troicki, 64 62 16 63

l. to Zahlova Strychova, 76 61

l. to Haase, 64 64 36 62

l. to Petkovic, 26 75 60

l. to Wawrinka, 75 63 63

Much love to all of you.

(Pics: Getty, Reuters, AP)

AUGH. You Can't Even Lose Right.

Anastasija Sevastova, who's been picking up some quality scalps over the past year, took out the Belgian everyone loves to hate.  No, not Justine, though I can understand the confusion.  She actually won in straights over Baltacha.  Nope, after taking out Jarka, Wicky is out. 

But being the buzzkill that she is, she didn't let us get happy about it:

As per yoosh, Maria nails it.

(Pic: AP)

I Like To Kick, and Stretch, aaaaaaaand Kick! I'm 30! 30 Years Old!

Ok, let's get things out of the way so we can discuss this somewhat seriously.  That "dress" is fug.  It makes Venus look preggos, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason for any of it, and I am embarassed for whichever design school she claims to have graduated from.  This has to be the result of a lost bet with Serena, right?  I mean...THAT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION!  There cannot be any way Venus designed that, threw it on, and was like "That's hot."  No fucking way.

Venus said afterwards it was an homage to Alice in Wonderland.  First, I don't know if she's actually ever read Alice in Wonderland because that dress has nothing to do with it.  Second, the only connection I can possibly think of is that she heard the rumor that Lewis Carrol was dropping acid when he wrote the book, which is totally untrue.  But if that's the connection then she nailed it because I thought I was tripping balls when I clicked over and saw what was going on.

Ok.  Now that that is out of my system...

That was some ridiculousness that you gutted out today.  After dropping the first set to Zahlavova 75, Venus sustained a pretty horrible acute injury that she would later actually reveal (shocker) was some sort of strain to the psoas muscle, which, based on my quick Wikipediaing, is a major muscle group in the lower back, hip and thigh area.  You guys, she was screaming in agony on court, limping, and she looked like she was going to cry.  And we're talking about Marion Bartoli here.  We're talking VENUS.  Venus don't play 'dat. 

Yet somehow, after leaving the court for an MTO, she gritted her teeth and somehow won the second set 6-0.  It's not like Zahlavova was playing crap either.  Even though the set went 6-0, Zahlavova had a lot of looks to make it tighter.  From there, Venus would keep gritting and basically win this match on one leg.  It was ridic.

We'll see how quickly she can recover, though.  She's got Petko next.

And then there's Fran.  That was her after her hard-fought match with Canuck Rebecca Marino, aka Robin Sparkles (I'd rather do Robin Sherbatsky but I know I'll mispell it all the time), who fought gamely and stayed with Fran throughout the match.  I was super impressed.  But in the end, Fran was able to finally get the break and serve it out.  After the match she looked completely wiped and I'm not sure what was going on.  She looked as though she was either going to pass out of puke. Dehydration?  Whatever it is she's got a totally winnable one against Niculescu in the third round.

I have no idea how much either these two have left in their tanks.  But their fight today was a marvel.  That's how the big girls do it.

(Pics: Getty, AP)

Wednesday OOP: Off-Day.

So I think I answered my question from yesterday.  I need the off-day.  Because after the emotional Tuesday I had, I need a day of relatively low-stress tennis watching. 

So here's Wednesday's OOP. 

And here's what I'll be tracking.  Um...like I said.  It's kind of an off-day.

Dokic vs. Zahlavova Strychova: DRAMZ.  Go Jelena!

Gilles vs. Fed: Fed will win. Then again, that's why they play the matches.

Janko vs. Fernando:  I did a double-take when I saw this on the bill.  This is a second round match????

Stan vs. Grigor: GET IT, GRIGOR.

Fish vs. Robredo: Evenly matched, I think.

AKO vs. Petko: WHY, DRAW GODS, WHY???

Pico vs. Haase: PIIIIIIIICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Troicki vs. Mahut: Yeah, I'm gonna say it.  Allez, Nico.

(Pic: Getty)

 

I Mean, Of Course.

It's the Australian Open.  It's David Nalbandian.  It's Lleyton Hewitt.  It's Rod Laver Arena.  It's the first round.  What the fuck did we think was going to happen?

Five hours, five sets, and in the end, 3-6, 6-4, 3-6, 7-6 (7-1), 9-7 to Nalbandian.  It was absolutely scintillating tennis.  If not for this match, the Ana/Makarova match would have been the match of the day.  But this one had so many jaw dropping, head scratching, face-palming moments that you just couldn't not watch. 

The Australian Open has officially started.  Hold on to your butts.

(Pic: Getty)

She Rules. 'Nuff Said.

What do you say after that?  No really.  I've been staring at this blank screen for the past hour and all I can think is "What am I supposed to say?"  My favorite player came into this tournament with a lot of hope and just played a gutty match against a game opponent, saved match point after match point, showed the world that she's a fighter, and still lost, ousted out of her favorite Slam in the first round.  What really can I possibly say?

I'm sure all the folks who actually cover this sport objectively will have plenty to say tomorrow.  They'll say Ana choked.  They'll say that she's not back.  They'll say Makarova played a good match.  They'll say Ana will be absolutely devastated with this loss.  They'll say things, and chances are, I won't disagree with any of it. 

But that's not what I want to say.  Being analytical of the match?  Sorry, but as a fan, I just can't even get myself into that headspace. Ten minutes after Ana walked off the court I was in the Heineken beer garden drowning my sorrows, talking about anything and everything other than that match.  Hours later, it still stings and I'm at a bit of a loss.

So this is what I'll say.

Sometimes I wish I could be one of those fans who could just focus on the tennis that's played on the court.  On some level, I think that would make things easier. You could make objective determinations about players and matches, you can cite stats, you can talk about forehands and backhands and debate all that technical stuff.  Seriously, when I listen in on those conversations, I'm totally fascinated and envious.  It all flies completely over my head.  It's like listening in on a conversation where you know everyone is speaking English but they're using phrases and reference points that are completely foreign to you. 

As much as I try (self-preservation and whatnot) I'm not one of those fans.  The actual tennis, if I were to be completely and blatantly honest, is not even secondary.  It's sixthiary.  What draws me to tennis and to players is their character, their heart, how they conduct themselves with the press and fans, their personalities, etc.  You know, all the stuff that, really, has nothing to do with winning a tennis match.

Which puts me in quite a predicament.  I end up becoming a huge fan of players who, many times, can and will suck at tennis.  Dinara Safina is one of those people.  Let's face it, she has a lot of absolutely legitimate excuses, but the fact is that she's simply not all that great at tennis right now.  Everyone joked when the draw came out that she'd get absolutely destroyed by Kim.  But did we honestly think she'd get double-bageled in less than 50 minutes?  Maybe I'm naive and a bit of an idiot (you can strike the "Maybe" from that sentence if you choose) but I didn't.  So when it happened, you just absolutely had to feel for Dinara, who works and tries so hard.  Some people may not care about work ethic but I do.  It just bums me out to see her work so hard on the practice court only to find that she's not even close to being a force to be reckoned with.

And then there's Ana.  My absolute favorite current tennis player.  It's never really had anything to do with her tennis.  Sure, that forehand (at least the one she used to hit in 2007) drew me in and forced me to take notice, but that's not why I'm a fan.  I'm a fan because she seems like a genuinely good person.  She works hard, she's honest, she just seems like a pretty normal human being.

Which is why last night's 36 63 10-8 loss to Makarova was so heartwrenching.  On one hand, of course, I was completely devastated for her.  She's never kept it a secret that she absolutely loved this Slam.  It's her favorite one.  And coming off her wins in Linz and Bali, she was raring to go in 2011.  She played well at Hopman Cup, had a good time, and then, as luck would have it, she busted her gut.  No Sydney for her but that was ok.  She would heal up and be ready for her first rounder here in Melbourne.

For a set and a half it seemed as though all that turmoil could be put behind her.  She played a fairly clean first set of tennis.  Nothing spectacular, but then again, a "clean set" from Ana at this point was in and of itself "spectacular" given her slump.  In Makarova's first two service games of the second set, Ana would have multiple break points that she couldn't convert.  So of course, as it is in tennis, Makarova would get the break first and take the set.  So on to the third.

I really don't know how to sum up the third set.  Was it scintillating tennis?  Nope.  Was it crap tennis?  Nope.  As the set went on it became clear that the match was going to be decided on heart and guts.  Who would be courageous at the right moments and who would be able to execute?

Ana saved five match points in that third set.  And we're not talking about a MP here or there.  At one point she was 0-40 and Makarova had triple MP.  She fought.  She battled back.  She stepped up and hit some great shots to save those points.  The two battled back and forth for over 90 minutes in that last set.  Sitting in the stands I kept waiting for either Ana to crumble (she was serving from behind for most of the set) or Makarova to break (Ana kept fighting and saving MPs and BPs, you just had to think Makarova would blink).  But neither did.  They fought, they hit great shots, they hit shit shots, and after the dust cleared it was Makarova who who won the match on a winner.

And that was the scene at the net.  Defeated, gutted, and on the verge of tears, Ana took the time to congratulate Makarova, and have some words at the net.  Hell, to even manage a smile after that one was a Herculean effort in my eyes.

Seeing that display made it all seem, and I know it's a weird thing to say, worth it.  It was just such a display of class and character and I was left standing there feeling pleased as punch that Ana was my kid.  The loss was, no doubt, crushing.  You can tell as much in her teary presser.  But the fact is that Ana got beat, it was a well-played match, and Makarova absolutely hung in there and won it. 

I'm an Ana Ivanovic fan.  Super proud of it.  And if that's what I take away from this match then that's a-ok with me.

(Pics: Getty)

 

Tuesday Tunes

Good Tennis Players Are Good At Tennis.

Up until the last hour or so, if you bought tickets to Rod Laver Arena today you definitely weren't getting much bang for your buck.  Sure, it's great to see the best players in the world play awesome, dominating tennis that reminds you that for all the idiotic criticism of the rankings systems, they are pretty dead on.  Top players are top players for a reason: they're better.  I mean, duh.

But after three matches on Laver, it was 35 games to 5 games dropped for the top dogs of the day, Vera, Rafa and Sam.  And really, it wasn't even *that* close.  Rafa won 11 straight games over Marcos Daniel before he retired at 60 50 with an injury.  Sam had the courtesy not to double bagel the 17 year-old upstart, Lauren Davis, and sent her home from her first WTA schooling with a couple of packs of string cheese for her troubles.  Vera?  Come on, it was Sybille Bammer, who only seems capable of beat Serena, oddly.

Speaking of Lauren Davis, that seriously was a schooling.  Prior to the match she had been interviewed by every American news outlet that mattered, and she was giving some pretty good copy.  Playing in her first Grand Slam and riding a four month undefeated streak, the kid drew the worst possible opponent possible.  This wasn't an instance of playing someone like Kim or Justine, who simply play the game she's used to but at a ridiculously higher level.  This was against Sam, a player with shots (two in particular, her kick and her forehand) that can't just don't exist in the pro game, let alone the junior ranks. 

So you'll have to excuse me if I chuckled and scoffed at this:  "I know I can compete with these girls in Australia and beat a lot of them, and I think I have a good shot against Stosur.  She has a really strong forehand and good kick serve, but my friend Madison Keys has a really good kick-serve to the backhand, and I'm used to that."

My immediate reaction upon reading the quote? "Oh, honey.  Have fun."  Credit to her, though.  The kid was brimming with confidence.  That's a pretty easy thing when you're 17 years-old. 

Sure enough, Madison Keys' "really good kick-serve to the backhand" has nothing on Sammy's and from the first game you could see how difficult it was for Davis to get on the ball.  You may be able to get away with just popping the ball back and getting the rally started at the Orange Bowl, but pop it back with no pace to the middle of the court on Laver against Sam Stosur?  See ya.  The kid must be icing her neck for whiplash.  It was fun to watch for a while.  But then it just felt like the poor kid had no business being there.  She's definitely got a quality backhand that she can hit for winners, but past that, it was all Sammy all the time.  You know that sound of a stadium full of people shifting uncomfortably in their chairs?  Yeah, I think Lauren Davis knows that sound now, too.

It was a professional and mature performance from Sam and it was exactly what she needed to prove to fans and media that she's here to play and the nerves of a full crowd on Laver against an unknown opponent wasn't going to phase her.

At least yet. 

As for Bepa, I maintain that she's not as fit as last year.  But a quality start nonetheless.  And Rafa?  What can you say.  Moose has just wrapped up his match in straights over Beck and I think it's safe to say that Fed, Rafa, Nole, and Andy have given no cause for concern.  They all look focused and sharp.

Off to settle in to Hisense for Ana vs. Makarova.  My stable has had a good day so far.  One more to go.

(Pics: Getty)

Welcome Back, Aga.

And *this* is why you ALWAYS catch an Aga match if you can.

Pic This: It's Official. My Brain Just Broke.

Oh, are we using fan-fic as captions now?

I Promise I'll Figure It Out Soon.

The first day of a Slam is overwhelming enough as a sit-at-home fan.  You grab your coffee, get your snacks, and plop down in front of computer and television to soak in the action over 12 hours on 20 different courts.  If you're lucky enough to be a fan in attendance, you can exhaust yourself making your way through the crowds and trying to navigate the grounds, jumping from court to court, constantly wondering if you're missing something amazing happening where you're not. 

But the first day of a Slam when you're credentialed media?  There's drinking from a firehose and then there's drinking from Niagra Falls (gross, I know).  Not only do you have all the action around you, you also find yourself in the midst of a bustling media room filled with journalists from all around the world (I happen to be smack dab in the middle of Germany and China), with players being rushed into and out of press conferences every five minutes, information coming at you electronically, aurally, and visually that you have to choose to either process or ignore, and the inevitable pressure you feel to live up to that 3x5 inch piece of plastic dangling around your neck.  It's as though slipping that blue lanyard around my neck has miraculously elevated me into, like "a thing".  People do a double take.  You can see them wondering who you are why you're so important that you get to go behind those closed doors. 

It's really weird.

So what do you do when you have all this access?  Well, if you're an idiot like me, you shut down, revert, and find solace in what you know.  What I know is that I love tennis.  I absolutely love watching it.  I love talking to other people about it.  Sitting in a presser?  Don't get me wrong, it's totally cool.  But it never lights me up or gets me excited the way the actual consumption of tennis does. 

So that's what I did today.  I watched tennis.  I watched from my station in the media center, I watched it courtside, I watched a lot of it.  I undoubtedly annoyed the people around me as I laughed, guffawed, and oohed and ahhhed from my seat.  I just can't help it.  This sport does that to me. 

It was a relatively chilly kick off to the Happy Slam, which was a bit unfortunate as it took a bit of the sunshiny summery goodness away from the character of this, my favorite Slam to watch.  I've always been so excited for the Australian Open because it seemed so exotic.  Sitting in the wintery confines of San Francisco, bundled up in sweatshirts and under blankets at odd hours of the night to watch the first Slam of the year take place under impossibly blue skies, bright sunshine, and with sweatstained fans milling about?  I could smell the SPF through the screen and it smelled like happy.

But when it's a touch on the gloomy side and you see people wrapping themselves with their just-bought tournament towels and using flags as stadium blankets, well, it kind of changes the character of the place, especially in contrast to the past two days, which have been impeccably perfect.

The upside to the weather is that it makes watching the tennis so much easier.  The grounds seem less crowded (emphasis on "seem"; I have no reference point as I've never been here before), and you can mill around without worrying about overheating, dehydrating, or burning to a crisp. 

Of course, the flip side of this is when the weather turns a tick too nippy and you were the idiot who listened to all your friends and family who told you not to bother bringing a hoodie, jacket, or sweatshirt to Australia.  Um, yeah, I was cold for most of the day in my jeans, flip flops (sorry, I refuse to call them "thongs"), and long sleeved button up.  With no time to run to a store to buy a hoodie (is there a GAP in Melbourne?) I spent part of the afternoon investigating my on-site options.  Those options are basically either a $70 tournament track jacket or a $265 Lacoste hoodie.  As I'm not dying of hypothermia yet, I chose to keep myself warm by doing a "Please God, Let The Sunshine Out For The Fortnight" dance for most of the afternoon and evening.  At least it kept me warm.  We'll see if the gods answer me tomorrow.

Here's a quick rundown of what I saw today:

• Moose practicing in a red shirt that made me sing "Andy In Red" for most of the day until that stupid-ass "Firework" song blasted in the AO store while I was looking at jackets.
• Ryan Harrison on his cell phone, sounding very very very down about his straight set first round loss.
• Paul Annacone walking the halls with a smile after Fed demolished Kubot.
• A freshly shorn Sergey chewing gum and inspecting his biceps.
• Petko "aufing" out loud and "come on-ing" to the crowd.
• Mardy Fish abandoning the sockless look, presumably because he is now skinny enough to pull socks up over his calves.  He's apparently lost weight or something.
• Justin Sands waiting inside the credentialed area, waiting for Bethanie to finish her press so they could figure out what to do with the rest of their time in Australia.
• Jamie Hampton almost hitting Elena Baltacha on a thwack to the backstop.  Both Bally and I think it was intentional.
• French fans turning up in numbers to cheer Gilles past Rendy Lu.
• A gaggle of young Serb fans lining up for Court 18 to see Viktor and Janko and disrupting play in the ongoing match.
• Fans sprinting like maniacs, weaving their way through the crowds to try and get Nole's autograph after an evening practice.
• Baltacha in tears as she walked back to the locker room after she won.
• Sania putting on a hitting clinic for about an hour and reminding us that yes, she was once a Top 20 player.
• Caro's ugly dress.  Venus' horribly designed dress.  You have a zipper penis, Venus.  That's what you have.

Much of the day, really, was spent scoreboard watching from my little cubicle, clicking around to watching different matches as the scores got interesting.  That sounds like a complete waste considering the fact that I'm on-site and can, you know, go actually sit courtside and watch matches.  But until I get my bearings and have a clearer plan with respect to what I want to do while I'm here, I guess I'll just stick to what I know.

And what I know is how to sit in front of a computer and enjoy tennis.  Which is to say, my first day at the Aussie Open was absolutely perfect.

Pic This: Let's Get Happy.

 

Day 1 is in the books, it's 3 am, and I'm pooped.  Which means that these captions are not going to make any sense. 

Hands down the best picture of the dress I could find.

Djok o' Lantern.

Even his hair is giving you the thumbs up!  Adorable.

How do you spell relief?

S-A-N-I-A-M-E-L-T-D-O-W-N

Pic This: I Want to Smell Him.

*waves*

(Pics: Getty)

 

Holy Shit, Sania!

Whether the ball goes in or not, she still has the best off-hand in the biz.

There are many wonders of the tennis world.  Shots or moves that are just so unique to that particular player that they need to be seen, heard, and experienced before you can call yourself a tennis fan.  Roger's inside-out forehand, Kim's sliding splits, Rafa's running forehand pass, etc.  But one of the wonders that I almost completely forgot about was Sania's forehand.  That thing is an absolute marvel.  Every fucking thing about it is absolute poetry.  When she hits it flush and clean it's absolutely mind-blowing.

For about an hour and a half last night that's exactly what she was doing.  Let's not be idiots here.  There are no "tactics" with Sania.  Her game ain't pretty.  She has one shot and one shot alone, but that one shot is an absolutely blazing extreme-gripped forehand that is the result of the perfect blend of power and timing.  When she's able to get herself into position it looks effortless.

Justine got to see it first hand last night after Sania shocked everyone by taking the first set 7-5.  But Justine, as is her annoying little habit, was able to steady herself in the second set to finally get enough balls back and force Sania into misses.  But it was nice to be reminded that the Sania hype is/was justified.  But then you see her serve a ball and you start questioning it all over again.

But Jesus holy hell it was fun to watch for a while.  I would pay money to just watch her hit that forehand all day. 

(Pic: Getty)

Straight Sets Are Cool Too, People.

I guess the kids really missed playing tennis.  A good number of matches went the full distance on Day 1 with, in my opinion, the WTA matches bringing the quality.

First off we saw big Sam Q once again crash out in the first round of a Slam.  And once again we saw him crash and burn while playing tentative tennis.  Kubot was on his last legs, running on fumes, and dragging around the court.  And yet he was the one that stepped up and showed the guts and heart necessary to win a five setter at a Slam, 8-6 in the fifth.  He even had enough energy to do a little jig after he won.  It was a really disappointing performance from Sam. 

But on the bright side I won't get confused when people talk about "Sam" on Twitter.  So yay for me.

Then we had Gael playing crap tennis and getting thoroughly outplayed by Dutch youngin' Thiemo, until at 4-1 in the third set Thiemo sustained a groin injury that effectively took him out of the match.  Granted, there was some brain crampage in there as well, but Gael was completely off-base after the match, essentially accusing Thiemo of being soft and how his strategy of "tanking" the fourth set to save energy for the fifth completely failed.  Gael seemed awfully pleased with himself.  Idiot.

Next up for the boys, Mardy Fish coming back from two sets down to save what was looking like an absolutely sorry morning for the Americans (Ryan Harrison lost in straights).  Good win for Mardy, who has traded in his no-socks for actual socks.  Either that or he has a ridiculous sock tan.  Could be either, really, I wasn't watching in HD.

Other notable fivers for the boys: Ivo out to Dodig, Gil over Cuevas, Techno over Kamke, and Montanes over Dustin Brown. 

As for the ladies, it was three-setters galore.  Dani battled Kulikova for over three and a half hours, only to finally fall 9-7 in the third.  The American women also got bit, with Bethanie blowing a 5-3 lead in the third to lose 7-5 to Rus, and Jamie Hampton imploding, gifting the decisive break to Elena Baltacha with three double faults to also go down 7-5.  Of course, the top seed on the ladies side to fall was Aravane, who was broken for the match, 7-5.

I mean, that's not even scratching the surface.  Justine and Sania, Wicky and Jarka, Domi, the list goes on and on. 

And then there's Mono, who won 6-0, 6-0. 

She hates tennis, obvs.

(Pics: Getty)

For DonkeyGrooming. It Wasn't The Same Without You.

Caught some pics of Fernando warming up for his night match and he was all testy and whatnot.  Thankfully that didn't foreshadow anything because he was lights out awesome against Old Man Schuettler.  The forehand was cranking, he was going for his serves, and gone was that passivity that seems to affect his game.  It really was incredible.  It was one of those performances that reminds you that yes, Fernando Verdasco is *very* good at tennis.  When he wants to be, at least.

Miss you, dude.  Totes homes.

(Pics: Forty Deuce)

Tuesday OOP: And So the Frazzling Begins

Flinders Street Station.  Yes, the pressure is real.

I can never tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing when the draws work themselves out so that a vast majority of your favorite playres are playing on the same day.  On one hand, it gives you a "one on, one off" sort of viewing schedule.  On the other hand, you have deal with that compounded stress ever other day. 

Anyway, the Australian Open officially starts for this fan tomorrow.  Lord help me.

Here's the OOP.

Here are the matches I'll be tracking:

Bammer vs. Bepa (Laver):  Bepa should roll but I'm curious what everyone else things of her form.  I was not convinced by what I saw in Sydney and I still maintain that she's not as fit as she was at the end of last season.

Samdog Millionaire vs. Lauren Davis (Laver):  And so it begins for Sammy.  Of course I'd love her to win but I'd just be really happy if she played to her seed here on home soil.  The pressure is immense and the young American wildcard is talking a big game.  Here's hoping Sam steps up to the line on her first service game and kicks one over the kid's head. 

Dinara vs. Kim (Laver): Because in my spare time I like to watch public maulings of small adorable animals.

Nalby vs. Lleyton (Laver): Lleyton's looked good all January, playing well at Hopman and "winning" Kooyong (I honestly didn't know you could "win" Kooyong).  But, you know, get it, Fatty.

ATomic vs. Chardy (Hisense): Get ready for the inevitable win and the even inevitabler wanking.  He's first on so you should probably also prepare for the "The match was scheduled too early" whinging if he loses.

JJ vs. Alla (Hisense): Who knows what the hell is going on with JJ. Should be a straight setter for her, though.

Moose vs. Beck (Hisense): Not exactly an interesting matchup but he's my boyfriend. 

Ana vs. Makarova (Hisense): The kid got the latest possible start, just as she wanted.  Hope that tum-tum is all healed up.  These two had a tense one in New York and Makarova almost took out Vika last week in Sydney.  THIS is the match I'll be drunk at.  Or before.  Definitely after.

Flavia vs. Rodionova (MCA): I mean, it's Flavia.  And Anastasia is such an annoying little brat.  Should be entertaining.

Jo vs. Petzchner (MCA): I haven't seen Jo play a lick this year so I have no gauge on his form.  But Petz can be dangerous, as well know from Wimbledon.

Peers vs. Kvitova:  PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZE can we get another Aussie storyline going.  Sam's shoulders are strong, but they're not that strong.

DelPo vs. Sela: GO AWAY, DUDI.

DYoung vs. Cilic: Lord help us if DYoung wins.

Pavs vs. Flipper: Saw Pavs today.  When is that kid going to start focusing on her fitness?  It was cute two years ago.  It's not cute anymore. Time to be a pro, kiddo.

Coco vs. The Cone: Alize still plays tennis. Not well, but she still plays.  She's gonna get steamrolled by Coq au Vin.

Kimiko vs. Aga:  Could there be a matchup of more unorthodox hitters? This will be Aga's first competitive match since she had to retire in Beijing.

Klara vs. Mels: Because yes, Mels is still kind of a thing.

Ernie vs. Becker:  I mean, if I don't see him tomorrow, who knows if I'll see him at all.

(Pic: Forty Deuce)

 

Guten Tag!

Ah, Petko.  A sight for sore eyes.  She rolled over Jill Craybas in straight sets and she was absolutely rocking the white Adidas kit.  She's looking fit and hitting the ball well.  Nice performance for her.

And don't worry, Petko fans.  Petko's still Petko.

Good Thing I Got The Picture.

Sadly, my camera just doesn't do that kit justice.  The pleats and collar were a shimmery hot pink lycra that looked like tassles or cones when she walked. 

Anyway, the punk costume didn't work.  Rezza lost to the always-on-the-verge-of-killing-someone Barbara Zahlavova Strychova, 60 36 75.  There was allez-ing, there was racquet tossing, there were pained cries to the heavens.  And it all ended on a ridiculous two-handed backhand drop shot from BZS that seemed to drift in the wind for days before it landed, to the stunned-silence of the crowd, a foot past the net.  Ridiculous.

So the ladies side, while generally straight-forward, loses two seeds after day one: Rezza and Dani, who lost in a 3 hour and 38 minut battle with Kulikova.  Really rough loss for Dani.  She didn't really play poorly.  But I think we all know her glory days are well behind her.

(Pic: Forty Deuce)