I was out until 5am last night drinking. It is now a little over 12 hours later and I feel like puking. I cannot for the life of me tell if that's just my body rejecting the 6am McD's run and pitcher of beer, or my soul trying to fight off yet another soul-crushing Andy Murray failure. I'm going to pretend it's the former but prepare myself for the latter.
Wouldn't it just be my luck that the one Slam I attend from first ball to last would end in a final between my two favorite players? I mean, this should be a good thing, right? I should be happy and relaxed and just settle in for some cracking good tennis.
But I can't. As much as I would love for Nole to win I think we can all agree (whether you like it or not) that a win here would be way bigger for Andy than Nole. NOLE ALREADY HAS ONE!!! HE'S ALREADY A NATIONAL HERO!!! HE'S ALREADY PROVEN HIMSELF WORTHY OF BEING INCLUDED IN THAT TOP ECHELON OF THE ATP!!! Andy's....Andy. A pasty, grumpy dude, who works so hard only to keep falling short. The last two times he had the excuse of losing to the GOAT. If he can't do it here, who knows what the negative chatter will be going into Wimbledon.
Ok, so that was way Negative Nelly of me and I really don't want to be negative going into this match. So I'm going to try to focus on all the ways this match will be awesome:
They both do a good Blue Steel.
Their girlfriends are totes adorbz.
They have tan friends.
They are secure enough to own tiny dogs.
They both rap. Or...whatever it is they're doing in that "song".
Phew. Well that was fun and kind of made me feel better. This would be a fantastic win for Novak and he absolutely deserves to lift that trophy after his ridiculous display against Fed. And if he can beat Moose, a dude who has, at least statistically, owned him in their last three meetings, he will officially plant the "I'M BACK, BITCHES" flag on the ATP World. That would be awesome.
But...please? You didn't give me Ana, you couldn't deliver Sam, and you refused to give me Nails. Can I have Moose? PLEASE, TENNIS GODS, CAN I HAVE MOOSE???
Of course I can't. How do I know this? Because HItler's a Moose fan. And you're never going to win when you're with Hitler. EVER.
Also, Caro? If you show up in Andy's box with Adam Scott on your arm, I am going to climb over from the media seats and punch you in the forehead. You've been warned.