This one goes out to you, Hewitts.
So if I'm to understand this correctly, Lleyton and Becs will only reveal their new kid's name if you give them $2. If you give them $2 they will text you the name.
This is dumb for a number of reasons, all of which seem completely obvious.
First, in this technology age, only one person needs to pay that $2. The information will spread like wildfire (to the extent anyone cares, which is a separate point) immediately. Anyone who actually pays this money is clinically brain-dead. Second, y'all would make way more money if you just sold the first baby pictures to some major Aussie tabloid or something. Have we learned nothing from Brangelina? Third, and most importantly, does anyone really care?
I mean, I would pay $2 for a text message giving me news that is so important it keeps me up at night, like whether or not we've found the WMDs, election results, or whether Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal are actually dating.
You know, news that matters.
Because $2 is a lot of money. After a bit of research, I have learned that I could buy the following things for less than $2:
- A bottle of Honest Tea, which is both tasty and refreshing.
- A used VHS copy of Center Stage.
- This 30 piece lot (30!!!) of Barbie accessories.
- A Nicole Vaidisova rookie card.
- This rad StormKitty sticker.
- An old button.
- Color Me Badd's "Time and Chance" on cassette.
- Russian Language Lessons.
- An Iker Casillas sticker.
I would sooner drop $2 on any of these things, particularly those Russian lessons with that foxy lady, than on a text message for Baby Hewey #3.
Or the Barbie Accessories. No, the Russian lessons. Wait, nevermind. The button. I want the button.