Forty Deuce

Huh.

Sorry for the non-blogging.  My kid sister was home from Japan and, well, I'd rather laugh my ass off as my sister dances alone to Pony than talk tennis. 

I honestly didn't think it'd be that big of a deal.  It's Wimbledon.  It's predictable, right?

Whoops.  Looks like I'm gonna have to limber up.

Tuesday Tunes

Deeeeeeeeaaaaaam, Gurl, U Funny.

In case you missed it, Sveta was tweeting during Day 2 of Isnutpalooza.  And it. was. awesome.

Don't forget to tip your waitresses!

Adopt/Marry Me!

Mama Halpert was interviewed by ESPN before his match yesterday and then they both get interviewed by ESPN after the match.  I want Mama Isner to adopt me, except for that whole wanting to get into her son's pants thing. 

All I'm saying is, I'm down to start negotiations.

I Can't Wait For You To Retire.

I like you so much better from behind the desk.  Also?  This ain't your first rodeo, Roger.  You should better than to ask Nole for advice on *anything*. 

Required Reading

• Huh?  People thought Sam and Nads didn't get along?
• 12 records went down yesterday.  Not only did they go down, they're untouchable.
• The buzz around the grounds and in the locker rooms re Isnut.
• Serena and Stifler: A match made in heaven.
• You'd think with all the news coming out of the AELTC the past four days, the British journos would just focus on the tennis.  Nope.  But at least it was an entertaining read.
• Nice interview with Martina.  The woman is kick-ass personified.
• Credit to Judy.  Instead of just pissing on British tennis she offers some suggestions.
• Blah looks like he's on the way out.
• 10 Questions with Killer Cahill.
• Momo's loving retirement.
• Stubbsy's blogging from Wimbledon.  And she's got a bone to pick with the organizers.
• What if you had to live blog the Day 2 of Isnutpalooza?  What if you had never live blogged a tennis match before?  You'd undoubtedly do a way shittier job than this guy.  Hats off!
• An ode to tennis.
• Steve Tignor's thoughts on the LMOAT.

Air Quotes: What? You Were Way Better In Role Models.

 

Pic This: Day 4

Another ridiculous day at Wimbledon.  God bless and help us all.

"I loved you in Teaching Mrs. Tingle!!!"

Andy: "Well I was able to dominate him with my serve.  Didn't think he played particularly well today.  Couldn't hurt me with his serve and his forehand was rubbish."

Jarkko: "Dude.  I'm right. here."

brb.

zomg! r u ok?

"But why is the other one wearing ski boots?"

Souvenir shopping, with Mohamed Lahyani.

 

"Alright, gentlemen.  Whip 'em out.  I brought a tape measure today."

Lovely.

"Psst!  Judy!  You brought the Bacardi, right?"

You confuse me.  So much.

Your loss, Queenie.

 

Ruh roh.  Halpert started a fashion trend.

"The old hag never comes to any of my matches and she shows up to that miserable git's second rounder?  Fuck 'em all."

Air Quotes: :) :( ;)

Q. Your bow had a lot of rhythm to it, tremendous depth. Some critics thought it might be a tad overproduced. Can you analyze it?

SERENA WILLIAMS: My bow didn't go the way I wanted. I didn't get my wrist action that I thought I would have, and then I got nervous. So my knee kind of got tight, and I felt a lot of pain in my left knee, so I couldn't get as low as I wanted to.

Q. So you're blaming your injuries?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I'm going to blame my injury.

...

Q. Yesterday Venus told me your curtsy was unreal. She also said you'd beat her in a curtsy‑off. Do you think there was too much hype for your curtsy?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Yeah, it was definitely too much hype. I feel like I had the number one curtsy and then I just got nervous. Next time I'll have to take more Advil.

I definitely handle pressure way better on the court than off. No comparison.

...

Q. How did you find playing on Court 2?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I have mixed feelings about that. You know, I don't think I should be out there. But in a way, I feel like, you know, with my popularity, it's cool to see ‑‑ when I was leaving, I stayed for a while, and I signed tons of autographs. A lot of these people can't get into the Centre Court and stuff.

Other than that, that definitely made up for it, to see fans I wouldn't normally see.

...

Q. You talked in Paris about the strings you're using, giving you more spin. Do you feel the same kind of effect here on the grass with the ball?

RAFAEL NADAL: Well, always the same, no? The string can help you, but you are the person, you are the player, not the string. You play; the string doesn't play. That's my feeling.

Sure, the string can help you for moments, for maybe the string is better than the other one because give me the chance to feel the ball more time inside the racquet. That's give me a little bit more control. But that's my feeling, that you are the person. You lose, you win, not the string. 

...

Q. How did you feel when you woke up this morning physically? What did you do to prepare for this afternoon's match? Did you weigh yourself today and whether you lost any weight?

JOHN ISNER: I actually haven't weighed. I told myself I wanted to do that. When I go back to the locker room, I will.

But I'm one of the heaviest guys actually, I am the heaviest guy on the tour. I have a little bit of excess in the stomach area (smiling). I knew that was going to come in handy one day. It was kind of the reserve tank.

It's not that I eat unhealthy. I work hard. I just can't get rid of it.

Q. Is it still there?

JOHN ISNER: Yeah. It went down a little bit, I think (smiling).

...

Q. After shedding so much weight in the last 24 hours, do you think you would make a good face of Weight Watchers in America?

JOHN ISNER: I guess. It's not like I'm a heifer or anything (laughter). Maybe.

...

Pic This: Big Baller.

"Some marathons are run, others are fought."

Class.

I'm Psychic! Or Is It Psycho? I'm Going With Psychic. Which Is What a Psycho Would Say...

So throughout the whole Isnut spectacle one thing has been nagging me:  Court 18.  Something about that court seemed familiar to me.  Tonight it finally clicked.  When I visited Wimbledon in October I took pictures of only two courts:  Center Court and...

Court 18.

I remember being struck by the intimacy of that court so I jumped up on the ledge and snapped a few pictures.  I also really loved the broadcast booths that lined the court.  It just seemed like a court that I would totally camp at if I were to attend.  

 

Take your pick, boys.  It's on me and Donkeygrooming.

Who knew?

Bonus shot: The Royal Box.

SW19: Day 5 OOP

Normally, when Round 3 of a Slam begins, I can say "well, things start to get interesting now."  But given the past four days, that seems rather ridiculous.  It's been a crazy four days so far.  There's no reason to think that, now that we start getting the marquee matchups, the crazy is going to die.

So pour a stiff one, get your SPF 60 out, and get ready for what I think, will be another crazy day. 

Centre Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Ladies' Singles - 3rd Round
Justine Henin (BEL)[17] v. Nadia Petrova (RUS)[12]
2. Gentlemen's Singles - 3rd Round
Gael Monfils (FRA)[21] v. Lleyton Hewitt (AUS)[15]
3. Gentlemen's Singles - 3rd Round
Roger Federer (SUI)[1] v. Arnaud Clement (FRA)

No. 1 Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Gentlemen's Singles - 3rd Round
Novak Djokovic (SRB)[3] v. Albert Montanes (ESP)[28]
2. Ladies' Singles - 3rd Round
Alisa Kleybanova (RUS)[26] v. Venus Williams (USA)[2]
3. Gentlemen's Singles - 3rd Round
Philipp Kohlschreiber (GER)[29] v. Andy Roddick (USA)[5]

Court 2 12:00 Start Time
1. Ladies' Singles - 3rd Round
Kim Clijsters (BEL)[8] v. Maria Kirilenko (RUS)[27]
2. Ladies' Singles - 3rd Round
Alona Bondarenko (UKR)[28] v. Jelena Jankovic (SRB)[4]
3. Gentlemen's Singles - 3rd Round
Feliciano Lopez (ESP)[22] v. Jurgen Melzer (AUT)[16]
4. Ladies' Doubles
Serena Williams (USA)[1] v. Timea Bacsinszky (SUI)
Venus Williams (USA)[1] Tathiana Garbin (ITA)

Court 5 12:00 Start Time
1. Gentlemen's Singles - 2nd Round
Thiemo De Bakker (NED) v. John Isner (USA)[23]
2. Ladies' Singles - 3rd Round
Tsvetana Pironkova (BUL) v. Regina Kulikova (RUS)
3. Gentlemen's Singles - 3rd Round
Florian Mayer (GER) v. Yen-Hsun Lu (TPE)
4. Ladies' Doubles
Lucie Safarova (CZE) v. Liezel Huber (USA)[5]
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA)[5]

SW19: Day 4 Results

Despite all the five-set drama from the boys, it was business as usual as all the seeds progressed.  The ladies took a bit of a hit as four seeds fell and Domi won. 

Singles - Second Round
(1) Serena Williams (USA) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 60 61
(3) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) 64 63
(7) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Alberta Brianti (ITA) 62 60
(9) Li Na (CHN) d. (Q) Kurumi Nara (JPN) 62 64
(10) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Monica Niculescu (ROU) 61 61
(14) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Bojana Jovanovski (SRB) 61 64
(16) Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 61 64
Klara Zakopalova (CZE) d. (18) Aravane Rezai (FRA) 57 63 63
Anastasia Rodionova (AUS) d. (19) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 64 26 64
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. (23) Zheng Jie (CHN) 64 26 62
Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d. (24) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 16 62 64
(29) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. Roberta Vinci (ITA) 62 76(1)
(31) Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) d. (Q) Romina Oprandi (ITA) 62 60
(32) Sara Errani (ITA) d. Arantxa Parra Santonja (ESP) 62 62
Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. Ayumi Morita (JPN) 67(4) 76(2) 75
(Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) d. Edina Gallovits (ROU) 64 75

Doubles - First Round
(3) Petrova/Stosur (RUS/AUS) d. Oudin/Zalameda (USA/USA) 76(5) 60
(5) Huber/Mattek-Sands (USA/USA) d. Borwell/Kops-Jones (GBR/USA) 67(1) 63 75
Amanmuradova/Barrois (UZB/GER) d. (9) Chan/Zheng (TPE/CHN) 63 26 64
(10) Kirilenko/Radwanska (RUS/POL) d. Arvidsson/Kerber (SWE/GER) 64 75
(14) Niculescu/Peer (ROU/ISR) d. Bondarenko/Bondarenko (UKR/UKR) 62 62
(16) Hsieh/Kudryavtseva (TPE/RUS) d. Krajicek/Schnyder (NED/SUI) 63 62
Hlavackova/Hradecka (CZE/CZE) d. (WC) Broady/O'Brien (GBR/GBR) 62 63
Vesnina/Zvonareva (RUS/RUS) d. (Q) Koryttseva/Kustova (UKR/BLR) 75 64
Baltacha/Savchuk (GBR/UKR) d. Kulikova/Sevastova (RUS/LAT) 63 63
Jankovic/Scheepers (SRB/RSA) d. Medina Garrigues/Senoglu (ESP/TUR) 64 62
Safarova/Wozniak (CZE/CAN) d. (LL) Marosi/Woerle (HUN/GER) 46 64 63
(Q) Kanepi/Zhang (EST/CHN) d. (WC) Peers/Robson (AUS/GBR) 62 64

Suspended due to darkness
(11) Black/Hantuchova (ZIM/SVK) vs. Kondratieva/Uhlirova (RUS/CZE) 62 26

Uh, Buh Bye.

 

Bummed to see Dani out.  She would have played Masha in the next round.

"And You Are..."

Before she sat to look ever so disapprovingly at Muzzard, the Queen Bee herself greeted some of the world's top ballers.

She also said hi to the English ones.

 

Martina totally fangirled during Wimbledon Primetime about the meeting.

 

"Sluts."

 

I don't know why Caroline is wearing what she's wearing.  And neither does JJ.

Nice to see Nole went business casual for the session.  Andy clearly thought he was going to the Kentucky Derby.  You can't blame him.  The Queen is rocking a pretty amazing hat.

Also, he'll show you to your table, now.

"1, 2, 3, 4, I declare thumb war!"

Still think this was a lost opportunity.

Show off.

 

"Was I too extreme?"

Nice to see all the players so excited about meeting the Queen.  It was cute. 

Bandwagon.

Ok, I get it.  Everyone's super impressed with Isnut.  They're on the front page of newspapers, the talk of all the news shows, hell, they kicked off The Daily Show.  Halpert and Nick are rockstars and the pillars of everything that sport stands for. 

That does not mean you all should be trying to rip that mantle away.  I mean, six five-set matches today with two going past 6-6 in the fifth?  Find your own schtick, you guys.  I mean, congrats to Rafa, Jo, Apricot, Jeremy, Petzchner, and Brows (ok, maybe not Brows), but be original!  Let's let Isnut have their day in the sun.

Um...Can You Show Up All The Time?

 

Look at that fucking hipster.

The Queen showed up and The Moose put on a show.  He served huge and sliced and diced his way to a solid win backed up, importantly, by a solid performance.  If that didn't impress you, Queen Lady, I don't know what will.  It was really beautiful tennis.

I love, so much, how nervous Muzz seemed to be about the whole ordeal.  Apparently the idea to drop their bags was Jarkko's, as he was worried he might fall down if he had to bow with it on his back.  The hand behind the back?  A classy and adorable move. 

Kim approves!

Pic This: "I'm Long, and I'm Strong, and I'm About To Get My Friction On."

This was *before* they took the court today.

MoLay Flies Economy. Consider My Mind Blown.

MoLaaaaay, MoLay MoLay MoLaaaay, MoLaaaay, MoLaaaay.

Get the man an ice cream cone!

If Nico and Halpert needed to look anywhere for inspiration for they classy and professional performance over the past three days, they need look no further than Forty Deuce's favorite umpire, The Bladder of Steel.

Bulldog.

Wheeeee!

 

Yes, it's a huge cliche.  But if ever "There are no losers, here" meant something it was here.  Nicola's singles campaign is over after Halpert finally broke him to take the final set, 70-68.  But to his credit, he didn't lose.  He didn't choke.  He didn't shrink in the moment.  John simply won the match.  He hit a tremendous forehand to give himself match point, gamely returned a first serve into the court, and then polished it off with a backhand passer to take the match.  Mahut didn't lose.  John won.

Not that any of that makes Nicola feel any better.  He was absolutely gutted after the match, sobbing into a towel and then struggling to hold himself together during the post-match ceremony.  Don't know what "gutted" means?  Read this.  There it is.

Absolute class from both guys. 

Weebles Wobble But Won't Go Down

The men have not had it easy these past three days.  Fed was once again pushed, this time by an unknown Serb with a two-handed backhand *and* forehand.  A-Rod rebounded after dropping the first set to Team MomeDra, and Melzer, Montanes...oh, hell, let's just say this: You know your field had a shitty day when the dude who had a rather workmanlike straight set win is Nole. 

Nuff said.

Oh, and see ya, Kolya.  I knew that Brands kid was going to be trouble.

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Federer (SUI) d I Bozoljac (SRB) 63 67(4) 64 76(5)
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d T Dent (USA) 76(5) 61 64
[5] A Roddick (USA) d M Llodra (FRA) 46 64 61 76(2)
D Brands (GER) d [7] N Davydenko (RUS) 16 76(5) 76(8) 61
[12] T Berdych (CZE) d B Becker (GER) 75 63 64 
[15] L Hewitt (AUS) d E Korolev (KAZ) 64 64 30 ret.
[16] J Melzer (AUT) d V Troicki (SRB) 67(5) 46 63 76(6) 63
[21] G Monfils (FRA) d K Beck (SVK)  64 64 67(4) 64
[22] F Lopez (ESP) d R Berankis (LTU) 75 46 63 64
[28] A Montanes (ESP) d B Evans (USA) 36 63 67(5) 61 64
[29] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 76(6) 57 26 76(5) 97
[31] V Hanescu (ROU) d M Ilhan (TUR) 64 64 36 63
A Clement (FRA) d P Luczak (AUS) 67(4) 63 63 64
Y Lu (TPE) d M Przysiezny (POL) 64 76(7) 63
F Mayer (GER) d M Fish (USA) 67(2) 63 64 64
D Istomin (UZB) d R Schuettler (GER) 63 76(5) 46 46 61

Singles - First Round
N Mahut (FRA) vs [23] J Isner (USA) - To Finish Thursday 46 63 76(7) 67(3) 59-59
T De Bakker (NED) d S Giraldo (COL) 67(4) 64 63 57 16-14

Dammit, Shahar. That's Just Cold.

Dani came through in her continued match against Vania and JJ survived a solid challenge from CanWoz.  The only surprise of the day was Shahar losing to Kerber in three.  Mels also lost to Jarmila, but given their recent form, I don't think that one's a shocker.

Singles - Second Round
(2) Venus Williams (USA) d. Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) 60 64
(4) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 46 62 64
(8) Kim Clijsters (BEL) d. Karolina Sprem (CRO) 63 62
(12) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. Chan Yung-Jan (TPE) 63 64
Angelique Kerber (GER) d. (13) Shahar Peer (ISR) 36 63 64
(15) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Kirsten Flipkens (BEL) 76(9) 64
(17) Justine Henin (BEL) d. Kristina Barrois (GER) 63 75
(21) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) d. (Q) Andrea Hlavackova (CZE) 61 64
(26) Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 64 62
(27) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. (Q) Shenay Perry (USA) 61 64
(28) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Varvara Lepchenko (USA) 46 64 63
Regina Kulikova (RUS) d. (30) Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ) 62 64
Jarmila Groth (AUS) d. (33) Melanie Oudin (USA) 64 63
Tsvetana Pironkova (BUL) d. Vera Dushevina (RUS) 63 64
(Q) Greta Arn (HUN) d. Alicia Molik (AUS) 75 64

Singles - First Round
(24) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. Vania King (USA) 67(4) 76(4) 63

SW19: Day 3 OOP

 

Wimbledon should thank John and Nico for distracting people from the other big story from Wednesday: Serena won't be debuting her curtsy before the Queen because the current world #1 and defending champion will be otherwise occupied on Court 2.  Neither will Masha be shrieking for the Queen.  Despite the fact that she's also hoisted the Venus Rosewater dish, she'll be stuck on Court 1.

Can't wait to hear the organizers' justification for this one.  Surely the queen knows that black people play tennis, right?  Or maybe her Royal Guards are a little worried about balls being stuffed down throats?  So many questions.

As for the match that never ends, the boys will retake Court 18 as the second third match on but not before 3:30 pm.  I hope both guys got an IV hookup for the night.

Centre Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Jarkko Nieminen (FIN) v. Andy Murray (GBR)[4]
2. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Caroline Wozniacki (DEN)[3] v. Kai-Chen Chang (TPE)
3. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Robin Haase (NED) v. Rafael Nadal (ESP)[2]

No. 1 Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) v. Maria Sharapova (RUS)[16]
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Robin Soderling (SWE)[6] v. Marcel Granollers (ESP)
3. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Ivan Dodig (CRO) v. Sam Querrey (USA)[18]

Court 2 12:00 Start Time
1. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Alexandr Dolgopolov (UKR) v. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (FRA)[10]
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Florent Serra (FRA) v. David Ferrer (ESP)[9]
3. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Serena Williams (USA)[1] v. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS)
4. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Na Li (CHN)[9] v. Kurumi Nara (JPN)

John and Nico's Infinite Playlist

What can be said that hasn't already been said?  On a day that brought American soccer fans the most dramatic and important goal in our young history, tennis gave us an event that transcended the sport itself, instead morphing, with each game and minute that ticked by, a blink-and-you-won't-miss-it-but-you'll-never-see-this-again sporting event that left spectators riveted.

It all started innocuously enough.  Nick and John, second on Court 18, took the court at 3:08pm. They would play one set to decide the match.  It wasn't pretty tennis.  Heck, I'm not entirely convinced it was tennis at all.  There were no rallies and very little shot-making.  But that didn't matter today.  This wasn't about the sport of tennis.  This was about courage, heart, and desire.  Mind over matter.  Bending without breaking.  This was about sport.

The last few weeks have given us multi-millionaires from storied franchises taking center stage to win championships.  We've seen the most famous and richest athletes in the world take center stage in South Africa and, with the world watching, bicker, dive, and fail to put egos aside in pursuit of individual glory.  We saw Tigers and Phils standing within reach of history, only to buckle under the pressure on the coast of California.  

And so, on a tiny court on the hallowed grounds of the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world, two men, neither household names, wearing non-descript white uniforms and carrying their equipment on their backs, took the court to finish their first round match at Wimbledon.  The crowd was small at the beginning, but seven hours later the entire world would be watching as these two relatively unknown warriors, playing for nothing other than the right to progress to the second round, would push their minds, bodies, and each other to the brink.

For over seven hours neither man would lose two consecutive games.  They would play 118 games.  That's almost two five-setters (13 games x 5 sets x 2 matches) in one day.  The fifth set alone, which remains uncompleted, was longer than any other full match in the history of tennis.  The prior record?  6 hours and 33 minutes.  There were no breaks of serve in the fifth set (and only 2 for the entire match).  That's 59 straight holds each.  All told, these two broke a slew of records.

And they're not even done.

Who knows what will happen when they take the court again tomorrow.  The match could be over in 10 minutes, it could be over in another 10 hours.  Again, it doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter how tanked these guys will be tomorrow or the rest of the tournament.  What so impressed me today was their ability to reach back and find that big serve, forehand, or volley to get them out of a jam.  

In the last few hours of the set, Halpert looked like he was going to topple over any second.  He tried to conserve his energy a few times by hitting 90 mph serves into the box only to find, not surprisingly, that they weren't effective.  So what did he do?  He lumbered to the line, set his jaw, grimaced, and fired down a 120+ mph ace down the tee.  Knowing that only his best would do, the kid delivered, game after game.

While Isner looked to hold with his serve and forehand, Nico was holding by serving big, dictating points, and getting to the net to finish off points.  I kept waiting for him to lose his concentration or stumble with his footwork to muff some volleys to give John a chance.  I don't remember him missing one.  I don't know Nico's game well-enough to know how comfortable he is at the net.  If he's comfortable up there than all credit to him for willing his legs and arms to get up quickly and finish with precision.  If he's not, then even more credit to him for living on the edge and coming out on top every time.  Either way, that's all desire and courage.

Two weeks ago, Francesca Schiavone showed us all what it looks like when a world-class athlete takes their chance, plays courageously, and refuses to buckle under the pressure.  John and Nico made tennis fans proud today, setting an example for sportsmen everywhere.  We have warriors from #1 to #148 who will battle.

Cheers, boys.  It was fun as hell.

 

40-40

40-40 in the fifth set.  No, seriously. 

Can I Get A P-Block Shirt?

Todd Spiker over at WTA Backspin sums up my thoughts on the Blah vs. Aunt Pimmy verbal smackdown.  In case you missed it, you can see it here.

Was Pammy being rude?  Probably.  She could have apologized and kept her voice down.  Did James have any right to complain?  Absolutely not.  To quote Mr. Spiker:

For my part, I say Shriver should have talked louder, and maybe thrown in how she's a Hall of Famer while Blake is the most underachieving American tennis talent of the past twenty years. A choke artist par excellance (a couple of comeback wins last year don't erase that fact), Blake somehow doesn't find a problem with his J-Block group of supporting being rowdy and creating a ruckus at the U.S. Open (you know, doing everything they can to distract whoever Blake's opponent happens to be that day), but found it all right to jump on a single voice of someone doing their job from the perch provided to them by the All-England Club from which to comment on the match below.

Co-sign.  

I am so tempted to attend the US Open just so I can walk around with a bottle of Pimms, wear a pink "P-Block" shirt, and sit courtside at his matches with a microphone to commentate really loudly about all the ways he's fucking up the match and his career. 

Pic This: Day 2

 

Round 1 is done (almost) and 64 players are drowing their sorrows in champs and berries. 

In the grand scheme of things, that doesn't suck.

I just really dig that dress on Dani.  Way to save Adidas, girl.

 

Yeah, you fuck that air, Daveed.  Vamos!

The Architect Of My Discontent.  Like, 15 times over.

Aw, shit.  Game on. 

And by "Game On" I mean, "I'm leaving Wimbledon drunk, poor, and working off my debt owed to Pimmy by doing things that I dare not write on a blog that my parents read."

Air Quotes: Strawberries, Sasha, and Sam.

 

Q. How difficult was it to play someone that played a lot of grass court tennis lately?

SAMANTHA STOSUR: She's a quality opponent. She has been ranked a lot higher than what she is. For whatever reason, she slipped back. She's definitely played a lot of matches recently as well. She qualified at the French as well as here and been playing well.

So, you know, it wasn't an easy first round by any means.

Q. If someone came to you before the clay season started and said, Here is the deal, you'll get to the Roland Garros final but out first round of Wimbledon, what would you say?

SAMANTHA STOSUR: Uhm, well, I guess you'd kind of be happy, but also you'd hope to do better here. Yeah, that is what happened. I guess looking at it, the whole picture, I've got to be very happy with what I have achieved over the last few months.

I would have loved to have done better here, but it wasn't to be. But I'm definitely going to look at the last few weeks and go home pretty happy.

Q. Francesca also lost. Is it kind of hard going from this huge moment of high pressure, the great run, to crank it up all again a couple weeks later?

SAMANTHA STOSUR: Yeah, for sure it's difficult. But, uhm, you know, that's the way it is. The champions of the game can do it back to back. And I guess that's the kind of pedestal that you want to try to look up to and try to get to yourself.

Yeah, neither of us had made it that far at the French and then had to turn it around in such a quick time frame.

You know, that's the way it is. You have to deal with that, try and cope as best you can.

...

Q. Can you talk us through your outfit today.

SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, we dubbed it Strawberries and Cream. Strawberries, is that the correct enunciation of it? I don't have a good British accent. The red is strawberries and the white is cream. It's not like a pure white; it's more of a cream. Also the red kind of symbolizes a lot of things I do in Africa, along with a lot of the work, like the red laces. Everybody that buys a pair can pretty much save a life in Africa.

I really kind of wanted to tie that all together with this championship. Since it means so much to me, I thought it could work well. The tournament means so much to me as well as the things I do in Africa. I thought it could also work well together.

Q. Your nails look good today.

SERENA WILLIAMS: They have strawberries on them, too. If I would have thought about it, I would have put a strawberry instead of a heart. They're hearts. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I could have had a strawberry.

...

Q. What are your thoughts about Thursday with the Queen's visit and how are your curtsy practices going?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I was going to curtsy today on the court afterwards, but I think I flubbed it. So I'm definitely going to work on it a little more. I'm trying to tone down my wrist action (laughter).

But my curtsy is really fun. It's something that she'll definitely never forget, if I ever even get a chance to meet her.

No, we really don't do that so much in the United States, so I'm really working hard on it.

...

Q. Going back to the Queen, quite a lot made of a suggestion you might not bow to her on Thursday. Can you tell us about how you're feeling meeting her, if you will bow, and what you might say if you meet her?

ANDY MURRAY: I don't know what I'll say exactly. I'll probably be a little bit nervous, understandably. I guess I don't want to mess up at all.

But, yeah, the plan was to bow to the Queen, as everybody would. It's just you wanted to get the right etiquette for what we were doing on the court. A few years back it definitely changed. Both players, when you went on Centre Court bowed, and they went out together. When they left the court, they left together, bowed again. Obviously, it's changed.

What I was trying to say, which I think was unfairly reported, was I wanted to make sure what the etiquette was before we went out on the court.

...

Q. I wanted to ask you a question about the tour. You've had a great early career, reaching No. 2, great run in New York. You're not going to be a teenager much longer. There really hasn't been a big breakthrough by a teenager on the WTA Tour since Maria here. Why do you think that is?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI: Well, I think I'm an exception to that. And I think that reaching No. 2, it's not easy. Not everyone can do that.

I think the tour has just become very tough. A lot of players are playing well. Just look at the clay court results that have been, you know, Martina Sanchez winning Rome, Rezai winning Madrid, Schiavone winning French Open.

I mean, there's a lot of good players out there. It's not easy to be in the top of the rankings. I'm happy about my own progression, the way I've been playing.

Tennis is an individual sport. So I think about myself. I really think that age doesn't matter. I think you can be 30 and be on the top of the ranking, and you can be 17. It really doesn't matter. It's just about going out there, doing your best, and you can see how far you can go, how far your own limits are.

...

Q. Have you gotten to talk to Sasha much about his championship and did you get to watch any of the parade online or anything?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: No. But I got a lot of pictures from it. It seemed really crazy. Yeah, I'm very happy for him and the team. 

Q. Couldn't have been much easier, could it?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Uhm, it always could (laughter).

(presser links)

Air Quotes: Amaze.

Q. Which one of [Roger's] records do you think is his most impressive?

RAFAEL NADAL: Every one. Every one is amazing. If I have to say something, 23 semifinals in a row of Grand Slam.

Q. Why?

RAFAEL NADAL: Because is five years, almost six years, playing all four Grand Slams. You can have no one injury, no one bad day, so is amazing. That's my feeling, no? So 23 semifinals in a row, in my opinion, impossible to do it another time.

Q. You spoke about what you felt was Roger's most amazing record. Of your tremendous accomplishments, what do you think your best achievement is?

RAFAEL NADAL: 81 matches straight on clay. That's a lot.

Q. In a certain way is that showing consistency, day in, day out being able to raise your game even under bad conditions? Is that why you're proud of it?

RAFAEL NADAL: The 81?

Q. Yes.

RAFAEL NADAL: I think that's the most impressive of my record, this one. Because, you know, in a lot of matches you have difficult moments. And not all the tournaments, not all the matches you are playing well. That's for sure. And you still winning. You still winning very difficult matches.

81 is a lot. A lot of days finish the match with the victory. And for me, that's, well, very difficult to repeat, too.

(presser link)

SW19: Day 3 OOP

If yesterday was a bit boring, today is a smorgasbord of potential upsets.  Eastbourne champ and Momo-aided Llodra will use the power of the scrunchee to try and upend A-Rod's campaign, Eastbourne champ E-Maks, who has yet to drop a set on grass in like, 42 years (ok, 2 weeks), goes up against The Queen of Grass, and Nole has to deal with the always tricky Taylor Dent, who will try and serve and volley his way to an upset.

And that's just on Centre Court!

Watch out for Brands/Kolya, Feli/Berankis, Groth/Oudin, and CanWoz/JJ, as well as the continuation of the Dani/Vania and Mahut/Isner matches.

Centre Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Michael Llodra (FRA) v. Andy Roddick (USA)[5]
2. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Ekaterina Makarova (RUS) v. Venus Williams (USA)[2]
3. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Novak Djokovic (SRB)[3] v. Taylor Dent (USA)

No. 1 Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Kim Clijsters (BEL)[8] v. Karolina Sprem (CRO)
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Evgeny Korolev (KAZ) v. Lleyton Hewitt (AUS)[15]
3. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Roger Federer (SUI)[1] v. Ilija Bozoljac (SRB)

Court 2 12:00 Start Time
1. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Justine Henin (BEL)[17] v. Kristina Barrois (GER)
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Gael Monfils (FRA)[21] v. Karol Beck (SVK)
3. Gentlemen’s Singles – 2nd Round
Tomas Berdych (CZE)[12] v. Benjamin Becker (GER)
4. Ladies’ Singles – 2nd Round
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) v. Jelena Jankovic (SRB)[4]

SW19: Day 2 Results

Suspended due to darkness
(24) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) vs. Vania King (USA) 67(4) 76(4)
N Mahut (FRA) vs [23] J Isner (USA) 46 63 76(7) 67(3)
T De Bakker (NED) vs S Giraldo (COL) 67(4) 64 63 57

Ladies' Singles - Second Round
(11) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Petra Martic (CRO) w/o (abdominal strain)

Ladies' Singles - First Round
(1) Serena Williams (USA) d. Michelle Larcher de Brito (POR) 60 64
(3) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Tathiana Garbin (ITA) 61 61
(Q) Kaia Kanepi (EST) d. (6) Samantha Stosur (AUS) 64 64
(7) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Melinda Czink (HUN) 63 63
(9) Li Na (CHN) d. (WC) Chanelle Scheepers (RSA) 76(5) 62
(10) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 64 60
(14) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. (Q) Mirjana Lucic (CRO) 63 63
(16) Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (LL) Anastasia Pivovarova (RUS) 61 60
(18) Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 67(8) 62 75
(19) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) 62 67(5) 64
(23) Zheng Jie (CHN) d. Pauline Parmentier (FRA) 75 64
Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. (25) Lucie Safarova (CZE) 76(5) 64
(29) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. Iveta Benesova (CZE) 63 64
(31) Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) d. Kimiko Date Krumm (JPN) 62 67(3) 61
(32) Sara Errani (ITA) d. Julie Coin (FRA) 62 64
Arantxa Parra Santonja (ESP) d. Olga Govortsova (BLR) 63 26 64
Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. Sybille Bammer (AUT) 63 63
Petra Kvitova (CZE) d. Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 62 62
Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 61 63
Klara Zakopalova (CZE) d. Yvonne Meusburger (AUT) 67(1) 61 60
Anastasia Rodionova (AUS) d. Anne Keothavong (GBR) 36 62 64
Alberta Brianti (ITA) d. Jill Craybas (USA) 62 75
Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) d. Arantxa Rus (NED) 60 26 63
Edina Gallovits (ROU) d. Timea Bacsinszky (SUI) 46 75 63
Ayumi Morita (JPN) d. Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) 75 61
Bojana Jovanovski (SRB) d. Casey Dellacqua (AUS) 61 60
Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) d. Alizé Cornet (FRA) 57 64 64
Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) d. Andrea Petkovic (GER) 36 64 64
(Q) Romina Oprandi (ITA) d. (WC) Heather Watson (GBR) 64 16 63
(Q) Monica Niculescu (ROU) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 62
(Q) Kurumi Nara (JPN) d. Mariana Duque Marino (COL) 64 62

Pic This: Stop. Hanging Out. With Gael.

"Nobody's Died."

 

Ok, so emotionally this wasn't as bad as last year.  But failing to close out a 4-0 lead in the third set?  That's a choke of Robert Green proportions.  She knew it, but it was nice to hear that she's got some proper perspective on everything.  I do love me some AKO.

 

For the record, I was totally prepared for Muzz to lose.  Thankfully the Tennis Gods don't strike in threes.  At least not in one day.  I'm sure they'll fuck me in due time.

Good Lookin' and Lookin' Good.

The faves were looking sharp today and in the case of Rafa and Muzz, they saw their draw potentially open up.  After falling behind an early break to Hajek, Muzz turned on the afterburners, blitzing his way to an easy and very fun to watch straight set win.  It was a sexy performance and one I haven't seen in quite a long time.  Andy was attacking his returns, cracking backhand winners, and dictating play with his forehand.  Lovely stuff and hopefully an omen of good things.  The other good news for him: a gassed Fernando was upset by FaBrows Fognini.  Then again, Andy would probably rather play Fer on grass than Jo, who notched a four set win.  So...six in one, I suppose.

Rafa notched a fairly straightforward win over Project 45, who, I thought, acquitted himself well.  Kei didn't roll over, instead making tactical adjustments as the match progressed to give himself a chance.  I was impressed and I hope the kid stays injury free.  Incidentally, my sister, who's been living in Tokyo for the past year and is in town for a visit, informed me that it's not "Cup 'o Noodles".  It's just "Cup Noodles".  Check the package next time.  This totally blew my mind.

I love love LOVE Masha's kit.  Love the jacket, love the dress, and love that she dished a stick and bagel while wearing it.  As for Serena, well, her tennis was dominant.  She fired down 15 aces.  And thankfully she left that piece of fabric on her shoulders in her bag while she played.  All I know is that while Serena makes me want to donate blood, I feel like hiring Masha to sue the shit out of Serena for fucking up the donation procedure.  

But this is a tennis blog and I know you tune in to hear my always insightful analysis.  So here it is:

These four players played good.

Fin.

TBC...

Two matches of note were suspended due to darkness.  With Ernie already out, everyone has spotlighted Halpert's potential match with Rafa as being a big match for both players.  That of course assumes that Halpert will even make it that far.  His match was suspended after four sets against Mahut, much to the chagrin of the crowd.  It sounds like they could have gone for another 20 minutes or so.  Regardless, it'll be one set to decide who has the tougher draw: Fed or Rafa.

Meanwhile, Dani's in a dogfight with Vania.  They've split the first two sets 67 76, and will play one set to decide it.  Get it done, Dani.  You are rocking that dress.  It would be a shame to see it stuck in the first round.

Pic This: She Was In. Now She's Out.

Kanepi d. Stosur, 64 64.

Air Quotes: Lucky Idiots, Feelings, and Jamaica.

Q. What were your feelings when the draw came out and it was Federer?

ALEJANDRO FALLA: Well, I knew I'm playing really well at this point of the year. And just sometimes bad luck. Everybody wants to play Federer. But three times in one month is a lot (smiling).

...
Q. Do you think it might have helped you to play him three times in a row?

ROGER FEDERER: It shouldn't have, no, especially after Halle. He should have known that I was going to beat him. But he forgot I beat him (smiling). 

...

Q. We'd all like to see you one day win Wimbledon. It would be brilliant.

LAURA ROBSON: I would, too. I'd like that (smiling).

Q. When do you think? You don't have a crystal ball, but...

LAURA ROBSON: It's hard to say. Ideally I would have liked to have won it this year, but that's obviously not going to happen (smiling).

Why don't you give me a year. Your guess would be just as good as mine.

...

Q. You had to wait over four hours to get on Court 1 today. What did you do in that time?

ANDY RODDICK: Play some Monopoly. Dominated some Scrabble. I watched some tennis. Watched some football. That was pretty much it.

Q. Which tennis match were you watching?

ANDY RODDICK: Challenger that was going on, a future back home in the States.

Q. You were watching Roger's match?

ANDY RODDICK: Yeah, I think everyone was watching that one.

...

Tuesday Tunes

Pic This: Day 1

Aaaaaand we're off!

Was Pimmy wearing pearls today?  I'll have to go back and check.

Little man, big heart.

Anna Wintour would not approve.

 

You can *still* see that horribly offensive fistpump in the dark.  Horrible!

Ducky got a standing ovation before and after the match.  Class.

I'm gonna pass on Venus' dress.  It just looks cheap. 

And you know there's an issue when people are saying JJ looks better.

So...Nice Weather, Huh?

I'm not sure what's up with the tennis journos in London right now but they need to seriously step up their game.  I mean, these are the elite athletes in, what most would argue, the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world.  They're trying their hardest and I would suggest you do the same.

I know the World Cup is a big deal and I love any chance I get to laugh at France's general ineptitude, but I really could give two shits what Mono's thoughts are on the matter, or Gael's, especially in light of the fact that YOU DIDN'T ASK ONE QUESTION ABOUT THE MATCH OR THE TOURNAMENT.  And why are you spending 90% of Kolya's presser asking him about Davis Cup when he just came back from two sets down?  I mean, Stan just got ousted from the tournament and this is what you came up with?

Look, if you don't want to interview them then just don't.  But don't make them come into the press room for this crap and then pat yourselves on the back as though you've done your job for the day. 

Step it up, guys!

SW19: Day 2 OOP

Rafa returns to Wimbledon for the first time since hoisting the trophy, Muzzard kicks off his campaign on Court 1, and Shazza gives it another go on Court 2. 

But don't ignore the undercards.  Queens champ Sam goes up against Bosch champ Sergiy Staks, a first rounder that seems more dangerous today than it did five days ago.  Rezzie will wear something shiney that accentuates her assets when she takes on Rybarikova, who's always a threat on grass.  And for guaranteed tears and drama, you can't do better than Chak vs. PetKo.

And in a match that I'm fairly certain is less about tennis and more about who has the better Blue Steel, Fernando gets Fognini.

If you're concerned you won't wake up in time for the action don't worry.  Just set your TV to ESPN before you to go to bed.  Trust me, there's no way you won't be awake for Rafa's match.

Centre Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Ladies’ Singles – 1st Round
Serena Williams (USA)[1] v. Michelle Larcher De Brito (POR)
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 1st Round
Kei Nishikori (JPN) v. Rafael Nadal (ESP)[2]
3. Gentlemen’s Singles – 1st Round
Robin Soderling (SWE)[6] v. Robby Ginepri (USA)

No. 1 Court 13:00 Start Time
1. Gentlemen’s Singles – 1st Round
Robert Kendrick (USA) v. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (FRA)[10]
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 1st Round
Jan Hajek (CZE) v. Andy Murray (GBR)[4]
3. Ladies’ Singles – 1st Round
Caroline Wozniacki (DEN)[3] v. Tathiana Garbin (ITA)

Court 2 12:00 Start Time
1. Ladies’ Singles – 1st Round
Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) v. Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)[19]
2. Gentlemen’s Singles – 1st Round
Nicolas Kiefer (GER) v. David Ferrer (ESP)[9]
3. Ladies’ Singles – 1st Round
Anastasia Pivovarova (RUS) v. Maria Sharapova (RUS)[16]
4. Gentlemen’s Singles – 1st Round
Juan Carlos Ferrero (ESP)[14] v. Xavier Malisse (BEL)

SW19: Day 1 Scores

Lots of frazzle and dazzle, but in the end it was a pretty snoozy Day 1.

Men's Singles:

Singles - First Round
[1] R Federer (SUI) d A Falla (COL) 57 46 64 76(1) 60
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d O Rochus (BEL) 46 62 36 64 62
[5] A Roddick (USA) d R Ram (USA) 63 62 62
[7] N Davydenko (RUS) d K Anderson (RSA) 36 67(3) 76(3) 75 97
F Mayer (GER) d [11] M Cilic (CRO) 62 64 76(1)
[12] T Berdych (CZE) d A Golubev (KAZ) 76(5) 62 62
[15] L Hewitt (AUS) d M Gonzalez (ARG) 57 60 62 62
[16] J Melzer (AUT) d D Brown (JAM) 63 46 62 63
M Przysiezny (POL) d [17] I Ljubicic (CRO) 75 76(5) 63
D Istomin (UZB) d [20] S Wawrinka (SUI) 67(5) 61 26 76(4) 63
[21] G Monfils (FRA) d L Mayer (ARG) 61 76(9) 62
[22] F Lopez (ESP) d J Levine (USA) 76(2) 36 62 63
[28] A Montanes (ESP) d P Lorenzi (ITA) 63 76(5) 62
[29] P Kohlschreiber (GER) d P Starace (ITA) 63 36 63 60
P Luczak (AUS) d [30] T Robredo (ESP) 26 76(3) 62 75
[31] V Hanescu (ROU) d A Kuznetsov (RUS) 67(4) 76(3) 63 16 75 
Y Lu (TPE) d H Zeballos (ARG) 75 64 63
M Fish (USA) d B Tomic (AUS) 63 76(8) 62
I Bozoljac (SRB) d N Massu (CHI) 76(3) 36 63 76(7)
T Gabashvili (RUS) d R Delgado (PAR) 26 64 64 62
V Troicki (SRB) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 63 64 61
T Dent (USA) d J Chela (ARG) 63 67(2) 76(3) 75
M Llodra (FRA) d J Witten (USA) 64 64 67(5) 63
K Beck (SVK) d S Ventura (ESP) 63 61 46 62
D Brands (GER) d I Andreev (RUS) 76(5) 76(4) 75
E Korolev (KAZ) d E Schwank (ARG) 61 76(8) 46 62
R Schuettler (GER) d D Tursunov (RUS) 62 62 63
B Becker (GER) d R Sweeting (USA) 57 62 62 64
B Evans (USA) d J Galung (NED) 63 76(12) 63
A Clement (FRA) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) 63 36 64 75
R Berankis (LTU) d C Ball (AUS) 62 60 36 76(5)
M Ilhan (TUR) d M Daniel (BRA) 67(4) 46 62 63 61

Size Isn't Everything, Laura.

Well at least you popped your Center Court cherry, Robbie.  And you acquitted yourself well.  But, as you said yourself, "She's No. 4 in the world for a reason."  She was also the year-end #1 a couple of years ago, in case you haven't heard.  But surely you got the memo.

Robbo's still in dubs and potentially mixed dubs (she's waiting to hear about a wildcard) and isn't sure whether she'll play juniors.  I don't really care what she plans to do so long as we keep getting pressers.

Love that lefty forehand finish.

Boomtown.

Surprising that they're out of Wimbledon?  Not really.  Surprised they're out *this* early?  Well...yeah, kinda.  Cilic hasn't been able to find the form that got him to the semis of Melbourne (yes, that's right, that happened, remember?).  It's really annoying.  I love the fluidity of his game but I'm beginning to realize that he doesn't have a big weapon that's commensurate to his size.  I'm sure they're working on that but it sure is hard to watch his form in the meantime.

As for Fran, she had quarterfinal points to defend here.  She obviously gets a free pass.  But I would have liked to see her get to the third round here.

Drama Kings.

Usually it's the Ladies who provide all the crazy drama in the early rounds.  But the ATP did their best WTA impression today, taking, nay, demanding center stage and, in Nole's case, the spotlight.

Kolya had to go 9-7 in the fifth to finally dispatch the big serving Kevin Anderson in a match that lasted over four hours.  Uh...that can't be good for his hopefully no longer broken wrist. But it sure was nice to see Kolya back.  You'd think the media would be excited too, seeing as how he charmed the pants off everyone in Melbourne.  You'd be wrong.

JJ was depressingly drama-free today so Nole decided he'd pick up the slack, needing five sets, a roof closure, and lots of falling down to survive the ever so pesky Little Roch.  And thanks to Nole we learned a new piece of trivia: Wimbledon has an 11pm curfew.  I don't know about you but I'm relieved.  Without a curfew you know Wimbledon would be out and about getting knocked up.  Don't let her prim and proper nature foll you.  She a ho.  Fo sho.

Inspired stuff from little Ollie though.  Gutsy hitting for four sets and two games before Nole reeled off the next six games to finish the match at 10:58pm.  He's a procrastinator, that one.  But big ups to Ollie.  I dedicate this gem, which I caught myself singing throughout the match, to the Wee Little Belgian That Could But Didn't:

Fed Won. I'm Not Gonna Pun About It.

Don't worry, guys.  Your brackets are safe.  Resume your steady breathing.

 

I honestly don't know what annoyed me more.  Waking up hungover only to see Fed down two sets to love and knowing that there was no way Falla was going to close this out, seeing Falla go down 0-40 while serving for the match, enduring all the horrible puns on Falla, falling, and fire being bandied about by commentators and journos, or seeing this:

Nevermind.  I know the answer.

Fed dodged a bullet and he knows it.  His post-match comments were complimentary of Falla and acknowledged that he should have lost this match but I was struck by his body language during his BBC interview immediately following the match.  He didn't seem relieved to me.  He looked concerned.  Sure, Falla played the match of his life but Fed totally let him.  And it's not like Fed raised his level for those last three sets.  Falla choked on the moment and gave it away.  Fed was tactically unsure of himself and his groundies were really rusty.

Who knows.  In two weeks we may completely forget this match ever occurred.  Or we'll be thanking Alejandro Falla for giving the locker room the confidence to know that yes, even the Great One, on his home turf, can fall down.

All I know is, after today's performance, I wouldn't bet against the field.

Required Reading: Killin' Time

Emilio has some advice for Moose.

Wimbly pest control.

Justine talks about Wimbledon.  Or something.

Wimbledon appoints the first female umpire in charge.

The Telegraph tells us what we already know.

Christopher Clarey makes you feel even worse for A-Rod, if that was possible.

These excerpts from P-Mac's new book that are really worth reading.  Here, here, and here.

Tignor talks grass.

Pic This: Wet Your Wimbly Whistle

 

We're less than 10 hours away, which means you guys should probably all be sleeping.  But in case you're not, here are some scenes around the grounds. 

Girl, that's a really easy way to get pink-eye.

It's like a cheat sheet in case he ever forgets!

 

Fairly certain this is Team NewBallsPlease chillin' in the queue.

 

I'd flick it. 

Thirty, flirty, and thriving.

Brasil?  Huh.

Yeah, cuz Paris was just a can-full of warm and fuzzy memories, huh, Moose. 

Air Quotes: EXTREME!!!

Q. One of the past champions, Maria Sharapova, is back from the rotator cuff problem. What have been your observations of the way she's battled back and what she means to the tour?

SERENA WILLIAMS: I haven't been able to see too much of her play. But I know just that she's a really hard worker and that her attitude on the court is definitely carried off the court of never giving up, always fighting. It's not easy to come back from any type of surgery. She is clearly doing well. I know she won a tournament recently. She's doing good.

Q. Kim and Justine are back at Wimbledon this year. They missed the last couple. How much do you relish the extra competition from those two? They were pushing yourself and Venus all the way a couple years ago.

SERENA WILLIAMS: Yeah, it's cool they're back in the draw. It's fine. I answer this question every week, so... Look at my other transcripts.

Q. Getting back to Thursday with the Queen being here, I think the Club is leaving it up to the individual players whether they'll bow or curtsy. What would you do?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, I definitely don't think I should take a bow, so I'll probably curtsy (smiling). I've been working on my curtsy. It's a little extreme, so I'm going to have to tone it down (laughter). I'm going to have to tone it down a little bit. I have a lot of arm movement.

Q. Do you have a curtsy coach?

SERENA WILLIAMS: Actually, I was practicing it this morning, so... Like I said, it's very extreme. I get really low. So, yeah, I have to tone it down. But we'll see. I hope we'll have a chance to do that. Hopefully I won't do that, but hopefully I'll have a chance to curtsy.

(presser link)

SW19: Monday OOP

While the grounds crew are laying down the lines and painting up their shit (that is some Rafa-like attention to detail) I'll be stocking up on Funyuns, HonestTea, and Pimms and hitting the hay early.

Because there's nothing like waking up to Aunt Pimmy screaming at you from the TV. 

I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME!

Centre Court
13:00 Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Roger Federer(SUI)[1] vs. Alejandro Falla(COL)
Ladies' Singles - 1st Round
Laura Robson(GBR) vs. Jelena Jankovic(SRB)[4]
Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Novak Djokovic(SRB)[3] vs. Olivier Rochus(BEL)

No. 1 Court
13:00 Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Kevin Anderson(RSA) vs. Nikolay Davydenko(RUS)[7]
Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Rajeev Ram(USA) vs. Andy Roddick(USA)[5]
Ladies' Singles - 1st Round
Rossana De Los Rios(PAR) vs. Venus Williams(USA)[2]

Court 2
12:00 Ladies' Singles - 1st Round
Kim Clijsters(BEL)[8] vs. Maria Elena Camerin(ITA)
Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Mardy Fish(USA) vs. Bernard Tomic(AUS)
Ladies' Singles - 1st Round
Francesca Schiavone(ITA)[5] vs. Vera Dushevina(RUS)
Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Maximo Gonzalez(ARG) vs. Lleyton Hewitt(AUS)[15]

Court 5
12:00 Ladies' Singles - 1st Round
Tatjana Malek(GER) vs. Nadia Petrova(RUS)[12]
Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Gael Monfils(FRA)[21] vs. Leonardo Mayer(ARG)
Ladies' Singles - 1st Round
Regina Kulikova(RUS) vs. Melanie South(GBR)
Gentlemen's Singles - 1st Round
Peter Luczak(AUS) vs. Tommy Robredo(ESP)[30]