Forty Deuce

RG Day 2 OOP: EEK!

Court Philippe Chatrier 11:00 Start Time

1. Women's Singles - First Round
Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) v. Caroline Wozniacki (DEN)[3]
2. Men's Singles - First Round
Roger Federer (SUI)[1] v. Peter Luczak (AUS)
3. Women's Singles - First Round
Serena Williams (USA)[1] v. Stefanie Voegele (SUI)
4. Men's Singles - First Round
Florian Mayer (GER) v. Gael Monfils (FRA)[13]

Court Suzanne Lenglen 11:00 Start Time
1. Women's Singles - First Round
Kristina Mladenovic (FRA) v. Na Li (CHN)[11]
2. Men's Singles - First Round
Evgeny Korolev (KAZ) v. Novak Djokovic (SRB)[3]
3. Men's Singles - First Round
Andy Murray (GBR)[4] v. Richard Gasquet (FRA)
4. Women's Singles - First Round
Jelena Jankovic (SRB)[4] v. Alicia Molik (AUS)

Court 1 11:00 Start Time
1. Men's Singles - First Round
Benoit Paire (FRA) v. Olivier Rochus (BEL)
2. Women's Singles - First Round
Roberta Vinci (ITA) v. Virginie Razzano (FRA)
3. Women's Singles - First Round
Kai-Chen Chang (TPE) v. Ana Ivanovic (SRB)
4. Men's Singles - First Round

Michael Llodra (FRA) v. Thomaz Bellucci (BRA)[24]

See the rest after the jump.

RG Day 1: Results

WTA: Singles - First Round

(2) Venus Williams (USA) d. Patty Schnyder (SUI) 63 63
(6) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) d. Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 63 61
Gisela Dulko (ARG) d. (10) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) 61 62
(14) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Anne Keothavong (GBR) 62 62
(15) Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. (Q) Heidi El Tabakh (CAN) 61 61
(19) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. (Q) Zhang Shuai (CHN) 60 63
Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) d. (20) María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) 62 64
(26) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. (Q) Ekaterina Ivanova (RUS) 62 60
(30) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Karolina Sprem (CRO) 76(5) 64
Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 46 61 64
Agnes Szavay (HUN) d. (WC) Stéphanie Foretz (FRA) 62 62
Angelique Kerber (GER) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 57 76(2) 64
Yvonne Meusburger (AUT) d. (WC) Claire Feuerstein (FRA) 76(4) 63
Johanna Larsson (SWE) d. Anastasija Sevastova (LAT) 62 62
Varvara Lepchenko (USA) d. (WC) Christina McHale (USA) 75 63
(Q) Chanelle Scheepers (RSA) d. (WC) Mathilde Johansson (FRA) 62 64

ATP: Singles - First Round

[5] R Soderling (SWE) d L Recouderc (FRA) 60 62 63
[8] J Tsonga (FRA) d D Brands (GER) 46 63 62 67(2) 75  
[10] M Cilic (CRO) d R Mello (BRA) 61 36 63 61
[11] M Youzhny (RUS) d M Przysiezny (POL) 61 60 64
J Benneteau (FRA) d [23] E Gulbis (LAT) 64 62 10 ret. (right thigh)
[29] A Montanes (ESP) d S Galvani (ITA) 63 63 63
[32] G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d R Schuettler (GER) 75 64 62
J Ouanna (FRA) d L Kubot (POL) 76(5) 67(4) 62 64 
T De Bakker (NED) d O Patience (FRA) 64 57 64 63
T Kamke (GER) d S Robert (FRA) 60 64 63 
A Falla (COL) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) 61 62 63
M Chiudinelli (SUI) d S Devvarman (IND) 63 36 63 36 63
J Chela (ARG) d R Sweeting (USA) 60 64 76(4)
F Fognini (ITA) d N Massu (CHI) 61 36 26 63 63
E Roger-Vasselin (FRA) d K Anderson (RSA) 16 46 63 76(4) 61 
M Yani (USA) vs L Lacko (SVK) 64 67(5) 67(4) 76(5) 8-8 - play suspended

Flash Gordon

Venus had a tough 1st round draw with Peppermint but she had no problems dismissing her in straight sets.  I thought Venus was surprisingly aggressive.  FINALLY!  That's how you need to play all the time, Big Sister!  All this is to say, she looked good.

She also looked *good*.  I *love* Venus' Can-Can dress.  It actually fits her well, it's cheeky with the see through lace, and she's causing all the old creepy men in the press room to pull their collars and hide their tiny hard-ons behind their tiny notebooks. 

Come on, boys.  Have you never seen a hot piece of ass before?  Calm the fuck down.

Air Quotes: Perspective

Sorry, Anne.

Fucking French Tyrants!

Jo survived an intense five-set challenge from German Daniel Brands, coming back from a break down in the fifth to move on, 46 63 62 67(2) 75.  Jo has been under the weather and was a little peeved at the FFT for refusing to push his match off to tomorrow.  But the dude survived, will have some time to rest, and he's now 3-0 in five-setters. 

Much to the delight of the home crowd.

And speaking of being pissed at the FFT, Nice champ Dickie Gasket is pissed that he's scheduled to play his first round match against Moose tomorrow.  Not only is he understandably wiped from playing Nice, he also suffered a leg injury that he's trying to heal.  

Do I think the FFT should bend to their players' wants?  No.  Tourney schedules are tight and someone's going to get fucked.But good luck getting any Frenchies to play Nice next year.

I Got a Feeling...That I Really Love Jo and Moose

One is too cool for school. The other is...not.

MGMT's Second Effort Sucked. Fact.

 

Person of the Day nominee, Akgul Amanmuradova takes out MGMT, 64 62.  So...there goes that storyline.  But thank you, Akgul, for ensuring that I don't have to see her slice and dice for the next two weeks.

Did anyone watch this match?  I mean, how do you not win this 60 60 simply by hitting nothing but dropshots?  Even in a neck brace she should have been able to pull this off.  So weird.

Yo Bookie! Give Me My Money!

As I predicted on this week's FDPodcast, Vika was the first seed to fall as Gisela waxed her 61 62.

 

Sorry, France.  You won't have this Pinkie to kick around this year.

UPDATED: Franzia For All.

Well that changes things a bit, doesn't it? 

Ernie, trailing 64 62 10, retired from his match with Apricot after sustaining a thigh injury early in the match.  So...the pressure's on you, Gael.

Perhaps the worst thing about Ernie's retirement is we get no Ernie pressers.  That is fucking bullshit.  

But in good news, Apricot is still fun to look at.

UPDATED: Quotes from Ernie:

Gulbis suffered the injury while reaching to return a serve in the second set. "I stretched my leg, my hamstrings, and I heard two cracks," he said. "I don't know why, so I'm going to go to MRI to hospital in 20 minutes and check it. I hope it's nothing serious, because it can be anything, but it's for sure a little stretch of the muscle.

Drink Now or Forever Hold Your Piss.

As promised, here are the official rules Forty Deuce Drinking Game: Roland Garros Edition.  Guaranteed to destroy your liver by Day 3 or your money back.

Sip every time:

• Lynn Welch overrules a call and is right.
• Fedal is mentioned.
• Caro hits a moonball.
• A commentator refers to Rafa as "The King of Clay".
• Monfils does something equally crowd-pleasing yet career-threatening.
• Sveta anger-tweets away the pain.
• John McEnroe talks over a point.
• The commentators mention Justine's "beautiful game".
  
• The cameras catch Mirka texting, snapping gum or otherwise looking bored out of her skull.
• Dragana does her "living statue" impression.
• A-Rad looks like she's pissed about something.
  
• Commies bemoan the collective serving woes of the WTA.
• ESPN mentions the potential of an All-Williams Final.
• Sammy Stones fires down an ace.
  
• Justine shoots a look at Carlos.
• Daveed sticks out his tongue.
• Fed hits a forehand drop shot.  This escalates to a chug if we get a Fedal final.
  
• Daveed holds a towel in his mouth.
• Brad Gilbert intentionally or unintentionally fucks someone's name up. 
  
• Masha double-faults.
• Ana catches a ball toss.
• The commies mention Dinara's "slump".
• Commies bring up Fed's amazing inside out FH breakpoint down against Haas last year and how that changed THE ENTIRE COURSE OF HUMAN HISTORY AS WE KNOW IT!!!
• The Parisian crowd either whistles at a player or an umpire.
• Aunt Pimmy's hair is frizzy

Gulp every time:

• Kader confirms an out call by wagging his finger at a player.
• Chris makes fun of Brad's creative use of language.
• "Dickie Gasquet".
• Justin Gimelstob looks like he's got some oil in his T-Zone.
  
• Clips of Rafa falling down or pushing the cameraman out of the way after his RG08 loss.
• Nole's penchant for retiring in matches is mentioned.
• Fer doublefaults on game, set or match point.
• Tennis Channel sends Corina out on the grounds to awkwardly interview people.
  
• Serena lets out a primal roar.
• There's a reference to "The Spanish Armada" with no reference to Tommy Robredo
  
• JJ goes to the ground.
  

Chug every time:

• You have the urge to either make out with Darren or crawl into Cliffy's lap.  If you get the urge to make out with Pam or crawl into Mary's lap, you seriously need to stop the game ASAP.  It's not funny anymore.  You could really get hurt.
• Rafa wins a set losing fewer than 3 games.
• Feli tries to distract his opponent by showing a little thigh.
• The commentators discuss the possibility of Fed or Serena getting the Grand Slam.
• Mono calls an MTO
• A-Rod goes apeshit on an umpire.
• There's a rain delay.
  
• The commies talk about Rafa's parents' divorce.
• Vika bitches. About...whatever.
  
• JJ starts or continues beef.
• Sammy Stones muffs an easy volley.
  
• The commentators talk up the U.S. men's prospects on clay.
• "Handapalooza" is mentioned.
• You really really miss JMDP.
  
• The clip of Masha's "Cow on Ice" plays.
  
• Sveta is even mentioned.
• The Frenchies are referred to as "Musketeers".
  
• The Adidas Player Development Program is mentioned.
• The commies mention how ridiculous it is that Nole could end the tournament at #1.
  

Clean a box of Franzia if:

• Fed loses before the semifinals.
• Ernie loses in the first round.
• Andy Murray makes it to the quarterfinals.
• Nole retires from a match.
• Masha makes it further in the draw than Justine.
• Ana makes the quarterfinals.
• JJ finally beats Justine.
• Flavia and Gisela win the doubles title.

Give up on tennis and pursue a life of vagrant alcoholism if:

• The winner on the WTA side comes from the bottom half of the draw.

Have fun.  Be safe.  And just remember:  There is nothing more pathetic than having horrible drunk sex based on a tennis drinking game.  Like, seriously, you guys.

Pic This: FD Yearbook

Best Smile.

 

Most Likely To "Just Be Breezy".

 

Most Likely To Smell Like Bong Water.

Most Likely To Bake You a Cake On Your 16th Birthday and Sit Dangerously on a Glass Dining Table With You.  Probably Drives a Porsche, Too.  Wears Argyle.  

Most Likely To Own a Flowbee.

See more after the jump.

Congrats. Now Get Your Collective Asses To Paris.

If you have a life and haven't listened to yesterday's FD Podcast, then you may not know that I am thoroughly convinced that Reeshie is going to bounce Moose in the first round of RG.  That trophy right there seems to bolster my argument.  Good on him.  Reeshie goes into RG on a wave of confidence, having won a challenger last week and winning Nice by beating Fer in three sets. 

So all that *and* you didn't get the title, FeVer?  Yeah, that was an awesome decision, Popeye.

 

Hey, have you heard?  Balkan girls like to party like nobody.  Especially in Warsaw.  Alexandra Dulgheru defended her Warsaw title by beating the entire Chinese Fed Cup team.  Keep an eye on her at RG.

And Masha claimed her 22nd title with a nice run at Strasbourg.  Not a lot of tough competition for her but hey, she's still the Cow on Ice.  Moo, baby, Moo!

And the Pico-led Argies beat America in Dusseldorf.  Pico, you are adorbz.

Now enough of this nonsense.  Get thee to Roland Garros!

RG: Day 1 OOP

Aw, shit, y'all!  Let's go!

Philippe Chatrier (11:00 Start)

Women's Singles - First Round
Svetlana Kuznetsova(RUS)[6] vs. Sorana Cirstea(ROU)

Men's Singles - First Round
Laurent Recouderc(FRA) vs. Robin Soderling(SWE)[5]

Women's Singles - First Round
Aravane Rezai(FRA)[15] vs. Heidi El Tabakh(CAN)

Men's Singles - First Round
Daniel Brands(GER) vs. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga(FRA)[8]

Court Suzanne Lenglen (11:00 Start)

Men's Singles - First Round
Marin Cilic(CRO)[10] vs. Ricardo Mello(BRA)

Women's Singles - First Round
Gisela Dulko(ARG) vs. Victoria Azarenka(BLR)[10]

Men's Singles - First Round
Julien Benneteau(FRA) vs. Ernests Gulbis(LAT)[23]

Women's Singles - First Round
Patty Schnyder(SUI) vs. Venus Williams(USA)[2]

Court 1 (11:00 Start)

Women's Singles - First Round
Mathilde Johansson(FRA) vs. Chanelle Scheepers(RSA)

Men's Singles - First Round
Mikhail Youzhny(RUS)[11] vs. Michal Przysiezny(POL)

Women's Singles - First Round
Flavia Pennetta(ITA)[14] vs. Anne Keothavong(GBR)

Men's Singles - First Round
Josselin Ouanna(FRA) vs. Lukasz Kubot(POL)

Court 2 (11:00 Start)

Men's Singles - First Round
Olivier Patience(FRA) vs. Thiemo De Bakker(NED)

Women's Singles - First Round
Karolina Sprem(CRO) vs. Maria Kirilenko(RUS)[30]

Men's Singles - First Round
Stephane Robert(FRA) vs. Tobias Kamke(GER)

Women's Singles - First Round
Agnes Szavay(HUN) vs. Stephanie Foretz(FRA)

Court 3 (11:00 Start)

Women's Singles - First Round
Dominika Cibulkova(SVK)[26] vs. Ekaterina Ivanova(RUS)

Men's Singles - First Round
Janko Tipsarevic(SRB) vs. Alejandro Falla(COL)

Women's Singles - First Round
Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez(ESP)[20] vs. Akgul Amanmuradova(UZB)

Men's Singles - First Round
Somdev Devvarman(IND) vs. Marco Chiudinelli(SUI)

Court 6 (11:00 Start)

Women's Singles - First Round
Christina Mchale(USA) vs. Varvara Lepchenko(USA)

Men's Singles - First Round
Guillermo Garcia-Lopez(ESP)[32] vs. Rainer Schuettler(GER)

Women's Singles - First Round
Anna Chakvetadze(RUS) vs. Angelique Kerber(GER)

Men's Singles - First Round
Juan Ignacio Chela(ARG) vs. Ryan Sweeting(USA)

Court 7 (11:00 Start)

Men's Singles - First Round
Nicolas Massu(CHI) vs. Fabio Fognini(ITA)

Women's Singles - First Round
Yvonne Meusburger(AUT) vs. Claire Feuerstein(FRA)

Men's Singles - First Round
Edouard Roger-Vasselin(FRA) vs. Kevin Anderson(RSA)

Women's Singles - First Round
Shuai Zhang(CHN) vs. Nadia Petrova(RUS)[19]

Court 17 (11:00 Start)

Women's Singles - First Round
Elena Vesnina(RUS) vs. Andrea Petkovic(GER)

Men's Singles - First Round
Albert Montanes(ESP)[29] vs. Stefano Galvani(ITA)

Women's Singles - First Round
Johanna Larsson(SWE) vs. Anastasija Sevastova(LAT)

Men's Singles - First Round
Michael Yani(USA) vs. Lukas Lacko(SVK)

Air Quotes: Team Fed.

"Last year, I got asked a lot of questions about why I wasn't doing as well in the slams.  It's all well and good winning the Masters Series but the slams are what is important. This year, the one slam I played, I played very, very well - the best tennis of my life."

-- Muzzard, on the importance of doing well at the Slams.

Cops Love Donuts

(Lalalalalalalalalalala)

Really cool piece in the NY Times on Reto Schmidli, a 31 year old cop in Switzerland who is the only person to have ever double-donuted Roger.  It's a great read.  Mainly because you get confirmation that Fed's a crier. 

Air Quotes: Dude. I've Seen You. You're Not Small.

"But I really feel ready again and motivated now. I'm hungry. I feel lighter on the court. I've lost a lot of weight since last year. I feel almost like a butterfly on the court again. That's really important. If you feel lighter moving around the court then your whole game changes. I'm one of the smallest players, maybe along with Justine Henin. All the other girls are so strong. They work so hard in the gym. I tried to do the same, to be bigger, to be stronger, but I couldn't move. I lost my speed and it didn't really help me, so I learnt my lesson. I know what I don't need to do. I just stick to my old training. I think that's what gives me results."

-- JJ, on how being weak is her strength.  And whatnot.  Some nice quotes from JJ, but I don't know what the journo was smoking.  "A classic Bollitieri graduate"?  Uh, no.  Also?  I still forget that she won IW.

The GOAT GOAT Beater?

A pretty fair piece from Steve Tignor on how the Rafa/Fed H2H relates to Fed's GOATness. 

Liked this:

This one is more meaningful than most: It proves again how the GOAT exists only in theory, and that when we descend from the world of statistics, of Slams won and years spent at No. 1, the sport is still all about individual matchups, figured out and played out one at a time. Federer remains the best, the GOAT, for his ability to dominate more of those match-ups than anyone. Nadal, for now, has a more peculiar title, one unique to tennis. Call him the Fly (In the ointment). He's the best at beating the best.

The fact is that the H2H is the only blip on Fed's ridiculous resume, so it's easy for everyone to key in on it and make it the cornerstone of their argument that Fed's not the GOAT.

But he is.  And it's annoying as all fuck.

Pic This: Your Move, Liezel.

I Want To Be Your Pam!

In a somewhat notable result, Halpert lost to Tomas in Dusseldorf, 16 61 76(4).  So Tomas seems to have played well and Johnny still almost took it.  Good news for both, I think.

He's so cute!  Ok.  I'll stop.

The US is playing Argentina right now in the World Team Cup finals.  Pico just beat Sam Q.  It'll be up to Robby Ginepri and the BryBros to pull it out for the States.

Pic This: My House.

Welcome home.

Aw.  Sharpei Rafa is one of my favorite Rafas. 

I want to take a nap in the folds of his face.

Oh, don't be shy.  Git it done, boy.

"I've Got a Nice Little Halo Over My Head. I'm Also Completely Wasted."

 

On this week's FD Podcast, French Open edition, the team attempts to break down the RG draws, we try (and fail) to avoid a Roger/Rafa final, we answer some Twitter and Facebook fan questions, and I get all up in Serbia's jock.

And Katie brings up Squeakergate.  Somehow.

Just a reminder, you can download the podcast directly below (right-click save), listen to it on the page (just click it), or subscribe to the podcast via iTunes.

FD Podcast #17: Oh L'amour

Pic This: Something's Wrong With This Picture.

"She's Not Dead. She's Happy."

Nice profile on WeatherVane in the NY Times.  Crazy seems to run in the family.

Interesting observation though about how her game is a bit similar to Mary Pierce's.

Air Quotes: Reigning In The Bull

“I don’t want to say the names but good players, who have been at the top, they have gone down. It is the same because every year there are better ones coming, new ones, like Gulbis, [Marin] Cilic. [Andy] Murray arrived two years before, [Novak] Djokovic three years before. Rafael came to the top very young, which was good for us, but at the same time it is a problem because he was very high at 19-20 and you must get better because when you don’t improve, the new ones will make you bad and I know he can do all the things better. We are in this process.”

-- Uncle Toni, on trying to get Rafa to improve by playing a less physical game.  The whole article is fantastic.  Read it.

Nice. I Guess.

FeVer continues his fun charade in Nice.  Just because it's red clay and the people speak French, doesn't mean it's Roland Garros, dude.  I hope someone in your entourage pointed that out.

Since you're in the final (third final on clay this Spring) you might as well win it.  He'll play Reeshard, who has had a great tournament.  And this pisses me off.  For obvious reasons. 

But in happy news, someone who actually needed the match play is in the finals of Strasbourg.  Moo, baby, Moo!

And in the Caroline Wozniacki Open, we almost had an all Chinese final.  But then Romania had to come and spoil the party, as they are wont to do.

Oh Boy.

I fell asleep waiting for the RG draw to come out (the prospect of Fed in a suit jacket will do that to ya) so I'm just getting around to it right now.  You can download printable copies of the men's and women's draw here.  Let's just say the early rounds won't be snoozers, kids.

So while you're waiting for my always cutting, illuminary, incendiary commentary, please watch L-Rob being awesome:

Nice.

Sod lost to a dude half his size. 

In other news that is kinda relevant, DB Chuck, Sex, and Dr. Ivo, have withdrawn from RG.  I'm sure their very large fan bases are staging a revolt as we speak. 

The Cow Won Again.

And it was weird.

"I Hate Uncle Jamie!"

I just want to take the time to issue a heartfelt congratulations to James LaRosa for successfully creating a drinking game that even Alcoholics Anonymous would endorse.  In fact, I bet you they'll play this game at their next meeting. 

I'm calling dibs on their leftovers.  What do I need the leftovers for?  Well for the awesome Forty Deuce endorsed drinking game we're all going to make up.

So I posit you this hypothetical:

You're a tennis blogger.  You are currently unemployed and thus have all the time in the world to cover Roland Garros to the max.  This of course means that you actually have no excuse and will actually have to watch almost every minute of coverage.  Given the current shambolic state of tennis this could be a special kind of dirt covered hell.  You want -- nay, *need* -- to get drunk as quickly as possible every single fucking day.  But you don't want to just drink willy-nilly.  I mean, getting voluntarily shit-canned by 7am PST every day is pretty much a one way ticket to an intervention.  That's just flat out alcoholism, people.

But.  BUT.  What if you didn't have a choice?  What if you were playing a drinking game?  It's a game!  You didn't *want* to drink but the rules of the game command you to drink.  And you were raised to obey rules.  Mama didn't raise no anarchist. 

So, suggest your rules in the comments.  I'll compile and post the official FD RG10 Drinking Game rules before play begins.

Oh, also, if train A leaves Chicago traveling 100 mph and train B leaves New York traveling 150 mph, and the distance between the two cities is 600 miles, how far from New York will it be when the two trains meet?

Air Quotes: Logic. JJ Style.

"I got to No 3 without a coach."

-- JJ, on why she's not in the market for a coach. 

Yeah, you did, JJ.  And all credit to you.  Uh, but, see, you got to #1 and a Slam final *with* a coach.  So...I'm just throwin' that out there.

See Ya, Fucko.

Odesnik banned for two years.  Whatever.  I've already forgotten about him.

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

Delpo will not defend his US Open title. 

And, no joke or hyperbole, I am really sad.

Air Quotes: That Factory Has Very Poor Quality Control Protocols.

"In my career I have broken 1055 rackets. I know the exact number, because Head gave me a snowboard with the number imprinted. I am a person, who has been frank both on and off court. If you like me, like me, if you don’t - it’s all good - said Safin and asked to tell who gets angry faster - him or his sister, who is also a tennis player, he quickly responded: Dinara and I are from the same factory."

-- The best big brother in all the world.

For Those Bothering To Keep Track...

Gilles and Nalby are out of RG. 

Paris just got way less cute.  But it has lost some weight.  Silver lining?

“Yes, and I have a helicopter, a submarine and a spaceship.”

Fantastic write-up on Ernie from the Telegraph with more Air Quotes than I could possibly do justice.  But my favorite part, other than the mental image of what "Nights Out With Marat and Ernie" entail, is this:

Money doesn’t motivate or interest him. “Because I come from a wealthy family, it’s more normal for me to have this money as a tennis player. It’s OK if it’s there, it’s OK if it’s not there. It’s not a big issue for me. If you come from a poor family, you want to pull yourself up, you have a goal to earn money. I don’t have that goal.”

And he isn’t playing for celebrity either.

“The fire in me is that I want to prove to myself that I can do it, that I can be at the top. I don’t care about money, I don’t care about fame. I don’t like money and fame, I don’t need them and I’m not living for them. I don’t know if I like or love the game so much.

"I enjoy competing. I don’t like practising. When I’m on court and it’s a competition, I enjoy it. I enjoy having a goal. When you reach a goal, it’s OK, but also an empty feeling. When I won my first ATP tournament this year, I was happy for maybe 10 minutes, and that was it. Then I had an empty feeling,” he said.

“And then we are on to the next week, that’s OK. It’s good in tennis that you always have to push yourself for new achievements.”

Keep playing well, Ernie.  The Rebel Alliance needs you.

"I'm So Excited! I'm So...Scared!"

So there's this tournament coming up in a few days.  As we're getting ready for our podcast session I've come to find that the FD Podcast team is pretty split as to the level of excitement for RG.  Everyone has their totally justifiable reasons, which I have no doubt will come out on the podcast. 

Personally, I love the Slams, so I'm really excited.  But that doesn't mean I won't be watching most of the tournament peeking out from behind my hands.  My feelings are pretty much represented by my Tune pics for the day: Some sad melancholy for those who won't be there, blustery excitement for the chaos that's about to reign down on us, preparation for disappointment and anger, but I'm ready to watch it with a good dose of humor and, as Jen Knapp sings, I'm ready to dive in.

But I wanted to open this up to you guys.  What's the deal?  Are people excited?  Why?  Are you dreading it?  Why come?  Are you completely disinterested?  Why do read this blog then?

Chat it up in the comments. I'm really curious.

Tuesday Tunes

Cannes You Dig It?

As people expected, on top of playing Nice with a bum ankle, Fer showed up to the Cannes Film Festival.

 

It is unclear whether he was there as a valet, construction worker, or crossing guard.

It's Sad That This Is News.

Masha finally won a match on clay.  It took three sets.  To beat Regina Kulikova, ranked 67. 

So...yeah.

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sports

Ajde, Marko!

There's so much hilarity in this table.  But it begins with the Momo comeback and ends with Kaia Kanepi's banner 2010.

Thanks to @ataraxis00 and @jameslarosa for the head's up.

He Should Have Asked Her How To Pronounce Her Name.

Fun Q&A with Bethanie.  Hey Liezel, you should get some tips from Bethanie on how to keep things classy and in perspective:

There was a lot of talk about Venus and Serena Williams not playing. Do you think the Fed Cup should stick to the same team all year?
That option has never been brought up, sticking to one team for the year. It’s tough to say. If it were to be a one-team format, teams would be made differently. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to see who really wants to commit to Fed Cup. Obviously if Venus or Serena would have come [against Russia] I wouldn’t have been able to play singles, so without them being there, it gave me the opportunity to come up with the win and have that experience. They’re the number one and four players in the world, so you can’t tell them no. It’s just tough because the team that was there was the team that really wanted to be there, wanted to play for the U.S. and made the commitment to either withdraw from tournaments or not play tournaments. It’s a team event, and that’s what it should be first and foremost.

Let! Corgi on the Court. Replay the Point!"

 

Last year the Queen said she'd go to Wimbledon if Moose made the final.  Now, word from on high is that she'll actually come during the first week, the first time she will attend in over 30 years.

  Moose Fever.  Catch it.

"That's How You Do It! That's How You Debate!"

Interesting post-match stuff from Fed and Rafa:

"Rafa's and my clay court seasons are decided at the French Open, and not before," the 28-year-old Federer said.

"It's unfortunately -- or fortunately -- like that. If we win all the tournaments like Rafa now and then go out in the first round of the French, everything will be questioned."

Nadal, who became the first player to win a hat-trick of claycourt Masters Series titles in one year, was not prepared to endorse Federer's views.

"Well, that's a respectable opinion that I don't share," the Spaniard said defeating the Swiss 6-4 7-6.

"And not because I have won the three (Masters) leading up to it, which some might think, but because I think it is unfair to think the whole clay season is decided by one tournament."

A fun argument, really.  But their two different perspectives sure do underline their respective careers.  There's a reason Rafa has 18 Masters Shields: He actually takes the smaller tournaments seriously week-by-week.  Fed's focus is obviously the Slams.

Nothing new, and unfortunately, I probably fall in Fed's camp on this one.  But it's kinda fun to see them disagree.

Air Quotes: Sigh. True.

“Am I favorite to win at Roland Garros? I was last year and I lost.”

-- Rafa, after striking out Fed.

Idiot Development Program.

Sure.  Why not.  Go play Warsaw and Nice the week before Roland Garros, a tournament that you are expected to do well in, while you've played impacted schedules and are not 100%.  Why not!  This can't backfire AT ALL. 

I get it, responsibilities, commitment, "I'm Polish", whatever.   Lose in the first round.  This is unwise. 

I mean, even JJ's taking the week off.  EVEN JJ!!!

Get The Man an "18" Jacket.

"I just keeding!"

It was a tense match that saw both players how off some spectacular shot-making and untimely mental letdowns.  Despite it being close, Rafa looked much more comfortable throughout the match compared to Fed, whose forehand let him down so much he started to rely, very effectively, on drop shops.  Well, they *were* effective until he went all Gulbis with them.

Neither Rafa or Fed played at their best but Fed did find himself with a 4-2 lead in the second set tiebreaker.  But then he inexplicably went dumb, gifting Rafa three straight points.  From there Rafa would close it out, the final point being a hilarious swing and a miss by Fed that can only be described as Kuz-like.  I guess last year's RG champs are having a hard time reading that dirt.

So what do we make of this?  Not much, in my opinion.  Rafa goes into RG as the clear favorite, obviously, but if Fed can work his way through RG and build his confidence match to match (and find his forehand, while he's at it), I don't count Fed out.  I've learned my lesson.  I don't do that anymore.

But for the time being, VAMOS RAFA.  18 Masters Shields, breaking the record previously held by some wigged out meth-head.  Go boy.

Lame! But In a Good, Bitchy, Champion Kind of Way.

Way to be awesome and prove me wrong, Lame-O!  Haven't seen the match yet but it looks like Aravane pounded Venus into submission.  Really curious to see this match.  Was Venus' serve off or what?  Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Nice momentum builder for Aravane going into the French.  Matt Cronin tweeted that the win might catapult Aravane ahead of Mono as the #1 Frenchwoman.  No pressure at Roland Garros, kid.

Final-ly

Hey Serena, I'm Pretty Sure Venus Likes Madrid.

Venus dusted Shahar 63 60 and will take on The Lame One tomorrow, who advanced to the final after Lucie retired due to injury.  This could be interesting if Lame can hit as big as she's been hitting the last two matches.  But if Venus serves well, fuggetaboutit.

Hey look!  Tennis analysis!  Weird.

Madrid: Saturday OOP

Manolo Santana (from 12.00hrs)
1. Venus Williams vs. Shahar Peer
2. ATP: Almagro vs. Nadal (NB 14.00hrs)
3. Lucie Safarova vs. Aravane Rezai (NB 16.00hrs)
4. ATP: Federer vs. Ferrer (NB 20.00hrs)
5. Doubles Final: Williams/Williams vs. Dulko/Pennetta

Arantxa Sánchez-Vicario (from 16.00hrs)
1. ATP: Granollers/Troicki vs. Bryan/Bryan
2. ATP: Nestor/Zimonjic vs. Dlouhy/Paes