Forty Deuce

Leggo My Eggo.

At the end of the day, irrespective of your faves and rooting tendencies, if you're a fan of tennis then this is the semifinal you were hoping for.

Or you're me and you just really wanted Sam to win.  I'm not that mature.

Good on the Belgians for taking out their strong opponents by, more than anything, outsteeling them.  During the big points and the crucial points of each of their matches, Justine and Kim stepped up and played steady, while their inexperienced opponents, Boots and Sam, despite offering a challenge, wilted.  Justine outlasted Caro over three tough sets, at one point calling a trainer for her back.  Sam was slow out of the gate but did challenge Kim in the second set, before playing a crap game late in the set to give Kim the break.  Still a good run for her, though.

Based on form I have have to give Kim the clear edge here.  Justine Eh?Nah has looked shaky throughout the tournament.  Her serve is crap, and she's trying to smack the cover off the ball every chance she gets.  Pardon me, but I was led to believe that the Great One played with "variety".  Right now all she's playing with is the Herp.

No, Sam.  You can't arm wrestle her for it.  Come on.

Be. Aggressive. B-E Aggressive.

But that's...not how.

This Q&A with Muzz over at ESPN gave me hope.  For the longest time I thought that Andy was content being the defensive counterpuncher that he is.  But it's clear that he knows he needs to play more aggressively, he's just trying to figure out what that means.  I like it.

Past Tense.

I really liked this piece by Steve Tignor on last night's Fed/Berdych match.  Nice analysis and insight.

It's also a nice reminder that yes, last night really did happen.

How Do You Say "Cougar" In Serbian?

Uh, don't worry about Nole, you guys.  He's doing just fine.

AK-47, You're Up!

Ana's out of Fed Cup. 

Wise.  Very wise.  Not sure I could take watching you get your ass handed to you by Domi.

UPDATED: Sania's Getting Married. Or Something. I Don't Know.

Following Sania Mirza's love life is as futile as Ana Ivanovic trying to win another Slam.  It's confusing, at times hopeful, sometimes cool, but ultimately a waste of time. 

She called off her engagement to her childhood buddy a few months ago, and now she's apparently engaged to a Pakistani cricketer.  And this is a problem for a number of reasons.  Apparently.  I don't know.

Feel free to try and explain it to me in childlike terms in the comments.

UPDATED: Stephanie Myles as the comprehensive write-up on the whole sheboggle here.

Belgians Waffling

Interesting stuff regarding the new "Power Trio" of Belgians.  Saucy.

You know if Kim had her way she'd bounce Wicky for Flipper. 

Maz, You Know Way Too Much About JCF

Tennis TV did an interview with JCF, wherein he answered fan questions.  Our very own Maz got her question picked.  Creeeeeeeeeeepy.

Um, also, JCF is hot.

Now, Now, Boys. Let's Be Simple About This.

Obviously, I'm on Team Gonzo.

THE HAMMER OF THOR!!!

(Pic for Forty Deuce by Love All)

So it's not a secret if you follow me on Twitter that I have become a StosurKAD.  I couldn't help it.  I've been a marginal fan for a while but seeing her play at Indian Wells really solidified my fandom.  I mean, you guys.  THAT SERVE.  It is a marvel.  You cannot possibly understand how awesome it is until you see it in person, in particular, her seconds serve.  That thing kicks like no other.  It's amazing.

But yes, everytime she slammed an ace or cracked a huge forehand I had the intense urge to stand up and yell "THE HAMMER OF THOR COMPELS YOU!!!"  I was cheering so loudly I think I kind of freaked her out.  In fact, during her win over Bepa, another FDer clearly heard me and yelled at me after the match.  There is nothing more shocking than hearing your blog name screamed out during a professional tennis match.  It was pretty awesome.

But honestly, I have no idea where that cheer is coming from.  I don't really even know what it means or whether it makes sense.  But hey.  That's my brain.

Pete Bodo had a nice write up on the Sam/JJ match.  It's worth a read.  He spends much of the article talking about JJ, but I thought his observations on Sam were dead on:

You'd think that any world-class player would have this distance-to-the-ball thing down pat, but it's surprising how often Stosur overruns a ball, or ends up playing it too close to her body (one by-product of that is a slice backhand that lacks sting). I suppose it's a sign of bad footwork, or slow reflexes. The conditions certainly had something to do with her positioning difficulties tonight, but it was still clear that Stosur doesn't - make that can't - adjust nearly as well to the ball as does Jankovic. Never mind. Stosur compensated for the shortcoming by having a clear idea of what she was going to do, and deciding that nothing was going to stop her. She had the game plan.

It's weird.  She doesn't like balls.  You'd think she wouldn't have a problem keeping her distance.

I'm In Love With That Song.

Sorry to mix my other obsession, music, with tennis, but I just had to post this article by Steve Tignor on the passing of Alex Chilton, lead singer of the Box Tops and Big Star.  You probably have no idea who Alex Chilton or those two bands are.  That's ok.  But what you should know is that Alex Chilton was probably a really big deal to your favorite bands. 

Alex Chilton passed away at 60 in Memphis while I was in Indian Wells.  It was quite sobering news to get on my way to my Mecca.  You can read about how I came to learn about Alex Chilton and Big Star here.  But driving down to Indian Wells I checked my Twitter feed to see an outpouring of sadness from all of my favorite bands and musicians.  He meant a lot to them and he inspired a lot of them.  For that, I'll always be an Alex Chilton fan.

And of course, he inspired one of the greatest rock lyrics of all time from one of my all-time favorite songs:

Children by the millions sing for Alex Chilton when he comes around.

They say "What's that song? I love that song."

"I'm in love with that song."

Which brings me to Steve's piece.  He so beautifully captures the sentiment in this Replacements lyric.  As a few of my friends know, I'm a bit of a loner.  The request to be alone comes in different formats.  Sometimes it's just walking a mile to meet a friend so that I can just throw on my iPod during the walk, or asking, begging, and pleading that I be allowed to take the bus home (as opposed to getting a ride) because all I want to do is sit on a bus quietly and listen to music, or sit at home on a Friday night with a 6 pack and a stack of records.  Song lyrics, more than books, movies, or television, inform my life.  Songs are my friend.  We have life-changing conversations on a daily basis.

Wow.  That sounds so much more pathetic when I see it in black and white.

So props to Steve for paying a proper tribute to Alex Chilton with his rumination and ode to music.  I read the piece and automatically wanted to buy him a beer.

And then we'd both pour one out to Alex Chilton.

Pic This: Jo With Animals. Did You Really Think I Didn't Know About This?

 

Sigh.  I love him.

Pic This: Shit I Never Got Around To Posting.

Before Fed made his, some would say, untimely exit from Miami, Rafa sat in the stands with Tomeu to watch him.  Way to jinx him, Rafa!  *air five*

Sveta suffered some shoulder issues in her 63 60 loss to Mono.  Needless to say, she's got a few points to defend on clay.  Hope the shoulder heals.  Moscow must have been on her mind, too. 

Serena was on hand to watch Dani play a great match, only to lose to Venus in three sets.  Sad face, Dani. 

 

And the Indian Wells champ fell to the Hammer of Thor in three tight sets.  Not really a bad loss for her.  It was a 10 vs 8 match, Sam's playing great, and JJ's got to be tired after her run in IW.  I mean, when's the last time you remember her playing for two straight weeks?

That was supposed to be a zinger.

Are you intimidated, yet?

Rafa Won. He Looked Good. That's All You Need To Know.

Did I mention I have a thing for arms?  Specifically forearms?  Well I do.  And this is like porn for me.

Rafa took out his good buddy Daveed, but not without a fight.  Daveed BROUGHT IT for that first set, playing well enough to deserve it.  But he played a crap tiebreaker and walked away a set down.  From there he just fell away and Rafa drove the stake into him.

Seriously, how hot is it in Miami?  I get exhausted just flipping through the pics.

 

Va-motherfuckin-mos!

Orange You Glad You're Wearing Orange?*

64 67 76

It's an odd thing being a Tomas Berdych fan.  And by "odd" I mean "tortuous".  The kid has all the talent in the world to knock off the Top 10, but he's got the brain of a 3 year old.  When you look up the word "headcase" in the tennis dictionary, the Green Goblin's googly eyes will stare back into your soul.  They fill you with a false sense of hope.  But it is that hope that plants your ass on the couch to watch him whenever he plays at top player.  And it is that hope that breaks your heart every fucking time.

Except this time.

 

Let's be clear: Fed played like ass.  Like, sweaty, stinky, 80 year old ass.  He couldn't hit his forehand to save his life for 80% of the match.  But he hung in there, like he is prone to do, and gutted out a second set win to force a third.  Now, obviously those of us who have had our hearts shattered by Tomas before figured the third set would be a 6-0 or 6-1 affair.  Hell, I tuned out and went back to trying to figure out some songs on guitar.  

But then, inexplicably, Tomas broke Fed.  Early.  And it was game on.  I poured myself a steep glass of vodka and settled into an evening that saw me cursing the world, Roger Federer, and Tomas Berdych.  It was fun.

Fed would have match points in the third set tiebreak.  And somehow he would fail to convert them.  Tomas had the match on his racquet but a forehand that missed by millimeters pretty much seemed to seal his fate as the not-so-lovable-unless-you're-an-idiot loser.  But that call seemed to relax Tomas.  He smiled a broad smile that seemed to say "well, today's not my day" and decided to bomb away.  And the bombs went in.  And he won.  Oddly.

I still can't believe it, honestly.  After the match, Fed would admit that he hasn't been feeling the ball well and he needs to figure out what's up with his game.  It has been a US tour to forget for the Orange One.

*This write-up has been brought to you by Ketel One, Anchor Steam, and about 5 minutes of my not-so-valuable time.

Don't Worry You Guys...

Serena's working hard to rehab her knee.  You can sleep easy now.

Pic This: Ew. No.

Nike Fail.  Like, in a major way.  The dude likes blue.  Just let him wear fucking blue.  Everything about this is horrible.  The color, the collar, the placket, the matchy-matchy wristband.  Yuck.

That's her disapproval face.

Pic This: SHUT UP, DOMI. NOBODY CARES.

Crockett and Tubbs

So one of the many little tidbits that I've learned about these two from DonkeyGrooming is the fact that Fernando makes fun of Feli all the time for being fat.  This was confirmed during my impromptu screening of The Montenegro Method, wherein Feli tells the world that he really doesn't watch what he eats unless it's during a tournament.

So there you go.  A new nickname is born:  Tubbs.

Which sucks for Feli.  No one wanted to be Tubbs.

Pic This: This Is My New Desktop Background.

TWO exclamation points.

Also, who writes like that?

And On The Sixth Day, God Was Like "Shit, Kids. Settle Down."

Well after a few days of clusterfuckage, Miami seemed to get back on track today.  JJ got a straight set win over Elena V., as did Justine over Domi, Kim over Shahar (bagel and stick!), and Vika over Lucie.

Caro is under the weather (a virus apparently) and dropped the first set to Makiri 61.  She must have ate Makiri's heart between sets because she would go on to win the match handily.  Note to Boots: I'm not rooting for you until you quit fucking moonballing.  You're likable as hell but whenever I see that junior move I roll my eyes and change the channel.

And in YayMe! news, Sam and Pavs both won and are into the quarterfinals.  Huzzah!  Or something.

As for the boys there were some notable surprises, namely Jo's orange kit with what might as well be a boatneck collar.  Seriously, did you guys see that thing?  How big is your head, Jo? 

No, the one above your shoulders, honey.  Nevermind.  My mind went to a funny place.

It's OK, Halpert.  I'd do the same thing if I saw JCF.

I really wish I saw this match.  It looked like an intriguing 50-50 on paper.  JCF came out on top.  He also won in three sets.

Hooray for Daveed for taking out Ivo.  Go away, you booty slapper. 

No!  Not you, Daveed!  You stay here.

Hip, Good. Brain, Bad.

If Rafa's happy, I'm happy.

Rafa was given quite the test by a resurgent post-hip-surgery Nalby, but in the end he came through, wearing Nalby down not physically but mentally to take it in three.

To Fat Dave's credit, he was striking the ball beautifully for a set and a half.  But after he failed to convert a number of break points in the second he completely fell away.  His footwork was non-existent and he kept slapping the ball for winners that weren't.  Well, they would have been winners if they were playing on a football field.

 

Oh, Rafa.  I love many things about you but when it comes down to it, it's your heart I love the most.  It just won't quit.

Afterwards, Rafa had nothing but good things to say about his good buddy (you know they eat cookies together) Dave:

Q. What makes him so good? He's beaten Roger eight times. Is it the backhand? Just the whole package?
RAFAEL NADAL: Everything, I think. He's very complete player.
Anyway, look, I'm very happy to see him back after important surgery. He's a close friend of mine. He is talent, no? He can play very easy. He can make very difficult things very easy.
So, you know, when he's playing at his best level he makes you feel like you are nothing in the middle of the court, no?
So I think it's strange that one player like David don't have a Grand Slam victory, because he has everything to win.

Go get it.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????

57 57 to Aga, 46 46 to the Skinny Sockless Wonder.

Fifth Slam, my mother fucking ass. Will update with depressing-ass pictures when I get home.

Puff and a prayer.  Get on it.

I Kinda Squeed When He Listed Ana First

CNN interview with Nole on the supposed "rise" of Serbian tennis. Uh, way to be current, CNN.

Air Quotes: Andy Goes On Blast...In A Good Way

In case you haven't heard, American Wayne Odesnik was caught in possession of HGH while trying to enter Australia.  He pled guilty and will likely be banned from the ATP tour.  Interestingly, he had just hired the recently retired Guillermo Canas as his coach.  Willy isn't a stranger to doping inquiries.

A-Rod ain't havin' it:

Q.  Sorry to be a rally killer, but I wanted to hear your comments and thoughts on Wayne Odesnik.

    ANDY RODDICK:  If he pled guilty, which it looks like he did, there's nothing worse than that.  I'm normally the one to give people the benefit of the doubt.
If that's the case, what we read today, that's just plain cheating and they should throw him out of tennis.  There's just no room for it.  I don't    I was shocked.  I was surprised.  You know, we don't need stories like that.  You know, I know that's the minority. If that's the case, I have zero sympathy.

    Q.  Your feelings are just as strong even though it was a possession and not a positive test?

    ANDY RODDICK:  If you have a possession, you know you're not supposed to have it.  You're not supposed to be anywhere near it.  You're not supposed to know about it.  You're not supposed to smuggle it into a country. If you have    I mean, if you caught your sons or daughters and they possessed some type of drug, they're guilty of probably using, as well, correct?  You know, I don't see the difference.  If you have it and it's not enough to    you either have it to sell it or you have it to take it.  So either way, it's not the play.  It's no good.

    Q.  How well did you know him?

    ANDY RODDICK:  I know Wayne a little bit.  I mean, I wouldn't say we're friends.  He used to train in Austin sometimes.  You know, I don't think we ever really did much together.  But it's just normally when this has happened in tennis it's been someone that is like I don't really know at all.  To have it be one of our guys and for us to lose a guy in the top 100, it makes me a little angry, you know. I don't you know, I don't want that stigma attached to our country and to our players, so it really pisses me off.

    Q.  That's the thing, the average person sees this in the paper tomorrow and they think...
    ANDY RODDICK:  That's what makes me angry.  We have the most    in your articles that you will write, I hope that they're at least researched to the point where we have the most stringent drug testing policies in sports. We're up there with the Olympics.  We can't take Sudafed because something will come up.  We have to be accountable for where we are I have to send in my forms next week to tell people where I'm gonna be for the next month every single day.  If my wife and I want to drive for a day trip somewhere, I have to call in and say, We're going here, here, and here and provide an address.  So I hope with the articles that they will at least acknowledge that.  The ATP and the powers that be in tennis have done every single thing possible, you know, with the exception of assigning a person to follow each person around 24 hours a day and sleep with the person, to mitigate these problems, you know.

    Q.  So you do not think there is a problem in the sport?
    ANDY RODDICK:  I don't see how there can be.  I mean, unless everybody's packing vials of stuff in their bags and smuggling it into countries, which I don't God, I have a hard time believing that, you know.  You know, I think HGH is the one in every sport where I hope they come up with a test and I hope they start just slamming guys.  I hope when they do come up with a test for it they don't tell anybody and they just implement it and start picking people off.

    Q.  There actually is a test, Andy, but it's not used in tennis.

    ANDY RODDICK:  Well, the sooner the better.  I think they should use it everywhere.  You know, I just hope that    I wouldn't be surprised if there is a test out there that we're gonna be the first to come fly with it.  I hope we do.  I hope this will move it.  There's no room for it.  We don't need it.  We don't need that stigma. I take a lot of pride in what we have to do on a daily basis and how responsible we have to be for, one    lack of a better word    for one jackass to ruin it for the rest of us.

I'm glad someone came out and said it.  It would have been a worse mark on the sport if players tried to justify what happened.

Pic This: Explode Into Colors

Despite all the crazy results, the kids are looking great in Miami, as they've ditched their staid Winter kits in favor of their crazy Crayola Spring kits.

Sure, MaKiri could rock a garbage bag.  But she looks fantastic in the hot pink Adidas Competition kit. 

Take note, Caro.  Color is your friend.

Rafa's lemon fresh.  Love the shorts.

Vika's in a dress as she begins her title defense.  That's a first. 

And Justine rocks the boring side of the Competition line while beating Lena D.

 

Unfortunately, Team Lacoste is rehashing the same orange. 

With mixed results (Sam won, Cone lost)

Slider, You Stink.

I mean, really, dude?  You lost to a hobbit, 62 67(7) 64.  A HOBBIT.  Look, I know the climate change from the dry desert sun of Indian Wells to the humid swampy Miami air is rough.  Especially for someone who already has a history of breathing problems.  But dude, you had plenty of time to acclimate, you're the #2 player in the world, and, oh yeah, YOU WERE PLAYING A BELGIAN HOBBIT!!!

I can't even fucking look at you right now.

The "good" news?  Nole will remain #2 even if Rafa wins Miami.  So...yay?

 

Yeah, yeah yeah.  Enjoy your moment, Short Round.

Not One. But TWO Bagels.

So over the course of the last couple of months, I've had the opportunity to meet up with Maria from The Double Bagel a few times.  She's great and I highly recommend you check out her blog.

She bought me a vintage camera.  Sure, it's no Pavyluchenkova but dudes, IT'S A CAMERA!  So sweet and awesome of her.  I don't know why you guys insist of getting me gifts.  Is it because I'm a bit of a charity case these days?

Anyway, if that's not enough to get you to check out her site, let it be known that she's a great photographer and she was on the grounds at Indian Wells, too.  So you can see a bunch of awesome pics at her site, here and here.

Now get out of here.  Scram!  GET OFF MY LAWN!

"Thinkin' about you and me, and you and me."

Sigh. 

 

I don't know what to say anymore, really.  I feel like every Jo post involves me saying "Sigh. I love him."  But sometimes love really is that simple.  Or lust.  They're totally the same, right?

Sigh.  I love him.

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All)

Pic This: Do I Know What's Going On? No. Do I Care? Nope.

Serbs and Footballs. Who Knew?

Throwing: You're doing it wrong.

But the kid was having fun chucking the footbally thing around. 

She even went lefty for a few throws.

 

Rather adorably, at one point she told her throwing partners to go to the end of the court.  She backed herself up on her side and chucked it as hard a she could.  It went over the fence and about 40 feet out.  As you can guess, she giggled uncontrollably.

There was a lot of giggling generally.

Did I mention that 4 hours later she'd be out of the top 50?  Oh I hadn't?  Oh well.

It was a good practice though, if that means anything.

More after the jump.

Air Quotes: Note To JJ...

 Q.  Last question for the new me:  Your goals.  I mean, once you reach No. 1, is it automatic, I have to be No. 1 again, or do you have other goals?

 ANA IVANOVIC:  No, my goals are actually to win a Slam.  I was very fortunate I won a Grand Slam and became No. 1.  I mean, it's great to be No. 1 because that's been my dream since I was a kid. But winning Grand Slam is something special.  I think it's something people remember even more than just the position you have.  So that's definitely my goal, and I know I have a potential to do it again.  I just need to, yeah, to keep working hard.

(Source)

Hey, Look At This Fucking Douchebag.

I mean, really.  You couldn't have diagrammed it any better.

 

The dude was unavoidable throughout the tournament.  Everywhere I turned it was like "Oh look.  There's the douchebag."  He just oozes suckitude in a way that makes you want to take a shower every time he walks by.  And seriously, he walks around like a big shot.  It's absolutely infuriating.

Victoria brought up a good point during Hit For Haiti.  Justin actually made that whole pile of steaming awkwardness even worse by, once again, inserting himself into the narrative.  He can never just ask a question.  It always has to be, "Well Andy, you and I were talking about this the other night over sushi and Chablis..." or "Come on, Pete, you're a great tipper!  I've been to dinner with you!  I've seen it!" 

DUDE GET OVER YOURSELF.  

Seriously, the next time you hear him commentate a match or do an interview, do a shot every time he references his personal relationship with the player.  You'll be drunk in 2 minutes flat.

Planning his next dick-sucking session with A-Rod, I'm sure.

It's Just An Expression, Domi, Not A Request.

"So then I was like, why would you ask that?  I'm Russian, so what, you know?  So all I have to say is 'fuck the haters.  Only one person can jurge me, and that's God.  You're either with me or against me."

"But, I mean, to be clear, I don't really mean you should actually fuck the haters.  It's a figure of speech, Domi.  Like when someone says 'Fuck You', that's not literal.  They don't want to have sex with you.  Why are you looking at me like that?  Well, shit, maybe that's your problem...."

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All)

Goin' Deep

Nole throwin' the ol' pigskin around with Viktor after his doggy day.

This is one of the sexier pics of Nole I've seen.  Something about the perfect technique. 

Or, you know, it's just him.

Speaking of which, if you'd like a happee in your pants, go to the jump. 

Rafico!

Yup, there are still some treasures from Indian Wells. 

And one of them is this series of pics of Rafa and Pico hanging out on the practice field.

 

Or, more accurately, Pico's attempts to seduce Rafa.

Why don't you go slip into something a little more comfortable, Pico? 

Don't worry, we'll wait.

Bummer Town

More orange and pink. 

Soak it in because it'll be the last you see it for a while.  Nails, Flavi, and Aravane all hit the skids today.  I guess they just all can't wait for the red clay and the cooler confines of Europe.  Other seeds to fall: Sabine (retired), AMG, and A-Woz.

As for the boys, no notable results except that new fave Evgeny fell to Dudi Sela.  Boo.

Dudes In Hats

I gotta break up all the vag-related posts somehow, but for whatever reason Getty didn't deem any matches involving cute tennis players photo-worthy.  So unless you want a bunch of pictures of Nicolas Massu and his disgusto hair, this will have to do.

So here's a picture of Fed that doesn't make me want to hurl.  He actually looks cute in it.  Probably because he has his mouth shut.

Aw shit.  Who mentioned Wimbledon?

What Is *That*?

So Venus won.  She beat Sorana in straights.

I don't know.  Maybe it looks good on court.  But right now it looks like a sample piece that's not made of muslin, but with discount fabric from Mood (and that's being generous) that's been taped together with electrical tape.  I can just see Nina's face the minute those ruffles come out on the runway.

Like I said, I will reserve judgment.  But Lord, it does not photograph well. 

And does she intend to wear this in Paris?

Pic This: Wow. Kim Doesn't Half Ass It, Does She.

Kim and Flipper are playing dubs in Miami.

That is the most awkward, physically contorted kiss I've ever seen.  Seriously.  Diagram that shit out.  It don't work.

Is Kim drunk?

Candy Corn For All!

Ana got a new kit and won a match.  She gets Aga next. 

Ohdearlord.

Nole Goes Mythbusting

Kind of a whatever video, but any opportunity to see Casual!Nole must be seized. I do love that Head has let his fun personality infuse it's marketing campaign for him.

Quiet Moments

One of the beauties of Indian Wells, and I would presume any Masters or Premier tournament that gives you access to the players, is the joy of just watching these elite athletes mosey about their every day lives.  Because really, awesome facilities and weather aside, this *is* their life.  Waking, stretching, practicing, eating, and sleeping. 

Sure, I could keep posting the awesome practice pictures that Steph was able to capture.  But come on.  That stuff you can, for the most part, get from anyone and anywhere.  And really, how many times do I really need to see Andy Murray striking a tennis ball?  Spoiler Alert: He's a professional tennis player.  Each stroke looks the same.  It's not gonna change from pic to pic. 

But where I really have to give Steph credit is her ability to quietly (and someone creepily) wander the grounds and be at all the right places at all the right times.  I just love all the candids she was able to catch that really capture the players' personalities.

The Family Pavs.  That's her brother wearing a spectacularly sequined Ed Hardy hat. 

Ah, eating the soul of a young child, I see.

Betcha didn't know he had that goin' on under his Lacoste.

Mama Vera snapping pics of Lena.

Sam and Nads share a laugh.

AKO rocking some Top 10 quality stinkeye.

Verbatim transcription of a real conversation:

Steph: Hey.  I saw Cornet practicing.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Five hours later, he would break Gavin's heart.

Greasy!

Gypsy walking around with her man.  Seriously, she will cut you.

(Pics for Forty Deuce by Love All and C Note)

Oh, Snap!

From a fan in Boyfriend's mailbag:

As baffling as it is when someone becomes a No. 1 tennis player without winning a Grand Slam, isn't it just as baffling (if not more, even) that Caroline Wozniacki is No. 2 without ever winning a Tier I event?

S-N-A-P.

Pic This: I Wonder If These Are the Miami Dolphins Serena Thought She Bought.

Obligatory Miami pics with dolphins.

Lions?  Check.  Dolphins?  Check.

Julie Coin.  Drunk as per yoosh.

WHY ARE YOU HURTING THE DOLPHIN, YOU EVIL BASTARD?!?!?

Pic This: I'm Sorry, Who Are You Sponsored By?

I'm just happy he didn't Donald Young his hat.

Yup.  I'd still hit it.

Pic This: Cutin' Through The Pain

I know the poor kid is hurting.  

But he looks unbearably adorable in his Miami presser pics.

I wants to hug it.

Do Dentists Give Out Toothbrushes on Halloween in Spain? They Should.

Cause I'm a Gypsy

Are you coming with me?

I might pull your tooth and heal it if I had a DDS degree.

According to The Twitter, Rafa has an impacted wisdom tooth that's been causing him pain for the past two days.

Dude.  Rafa:  More faux-boning Shakira, less nom nom on the cocoa, ok?

Thanks to NadalNews for tweeting me that awesome pic.

Takes One To Know One.

One of Muzz's favorite bands is N.E.R.D.  Shocker.

Though, for serious, how the hell did Miami get them?  Or was it just Pharrell and no Chad?  And why is Pharrell looking all sketch these days?  WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS???

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear A Blindfold. And Ear Plugs.

Sorana Cirstea actually won a match yesterday, beating The Burrito 75 76(9), saving six set points along the way.  Have fun with Venus, kid.

As for Burrito, it's nice to see her time at Bollitieri's is training her well for her WTA career.  You keep on keepin' on, kiddo.