Finally, the day that we've been waiting for: The end of the crummy year that was 2009.
2009 was a rough one for me personally, and if you follow FD closely, you've probably been able to read between the lines and see hints of that. As I mentioned in this week's FD Podcast, I finally quit my job today. That's right, say goodbye to the seemingly luxurious life of a high priced corporate litigator. No longer will I be defending evil corporations in their ruthless attempts to take over the world.
I started Forty Deuce in 2008 because I was looking for an outlet. I felt stifled creatively at my job. I'm a pretty affable and laid back person, but when you're paid to stress out (which is what clients pay us to do -- stress out about shit they should be stressing out about so that they don't have to), it's pretty hard to walk around with a genuine smile on your face. And when you're not sleeping and physically and mentally exhausted, it's really hard to protect yourself from being ground down to a nub.
So I carved out this little space on the interwebs where I could still maintain some semblance of a personality. Where I could express myself creatively about something that I love. Where I could do and say whatever the fuck I wanted without repercussion.
And much to my shock, you guys came. And you read what I wrote. And, much to my surprise, you seemed to like it. I cannot tell you how much support I took from your comments and your emails. I spent 7 years working my ass off and somewhere along the line, I began to lose myself. I was convinced that the only value that I had to the world was as an asshole lawyer. The kind of lawyer who had to duck out of a Lily Allen concert to tear someone a new one over the phone. The kind of lawyer who reduced a poor customer service rep to tears because Delta had lost my luggage on a business trip. The kind of lawyer who would drop $500 for a bottle of wine at dinner simply because I had to justify my job somehow, right? Have you seen Michael Clayton? Yeah, think that but with fewer horses and exploding cars.
But this blog, and specifically all of you, have, in your own little way, reminded me that I don't have to be that. That maybe, just maybe, I might be good at something other than a paid mercenary. Shit, if I'm going to be an asshole, at least use my powers for good, not evil, right?
And so I've quit my job, hopped off a career trajectory that would have led to a seven-figure paycheck, will likely sell my house, move back with parents, etc. It sounds like absolute insanity but I can honestly say that apart form the sadness of leaving some of my best friends at the firm, I am ecstatic and for the first time in 10 years, I feel at peace.
All this is to say, thank you. Each and every one of you have played a part in bringing me to this day. Thank you to the Forty Deuce community and to all the tennis fans out there that tune in. I still get weirded out when I think that people read this site. That, when it's not updated, people worry about my personal well-being. That I have been able to cultivate real and honest friendships with many of you, whether I've met you face to face or not.
Look, I know I'm a dick. I know you disagree with me a lot. I know you have, from time to time, come to hate me with a fiery passion. But that's ok. To quote a wise and handsome Serb, "That's ok. I still love you guys."
Have a wonderful New Year's, everyone. See you on the flip side.
PS -- I will be taking a three week vacation starting January 2nd. It's a vacation that, as my friends and family have reminded me, I've never been able to take when I was a big firm lawyer. Hell, the one week for Indian Wells last year was like pulling teeth and I still had to run out of the main stadium a few times to get into a screaming match with opposing counsel. I'll be back in time for the second week of AO. In my stead, Carrie has graciously agreed to take over and get you guys hyped for the Australian swing.