My trusty laptop, Halpert, has been fritzing on me. He's making weird noises, freezing, and generally making me cry a lot. But he's decided to give me a small window of operability right now so here we go.
And yes, I named my laptop Halpert. Is that any weirder than naming my Tivo Liz Lemon? Because I did that too.
Where was I? Ah yes: Whores and retirements.
- Loose Lips Sink Ships: Are we sure Joachim Johanssen isn't a WTA player? Here I was thinking that we'd never find out the identity of the ATP Pay to Play-ers and then ATPJJ goes and BLOGS about it. Apparently Ernie was John #1 and with Goth Bols sudden withdrawal (heh) from Stockholm, speculation obviously falls on him as John #2. I honestly can't think of an awesomer duo to be implicated in this thing.
- "No, My Last Name Is Not Jankovic": Caro, playing her 24th tourney of the year (jeebus) in Luxembourg, retires with a leg injury while up 75 50. Rest up, Bootsie. Fellow Bunny Rancher Sorana also retired from her match.
- The Race For 8 Continues: JJ exacted revenge over Shvedova to stay in Moscow, and Vera won easily.
- London Gets More Dick: A-Rod qualifies for WTF. Kolya and Fer currently stand at 7 and 8, with Sods, Gonzo, and Jo on their tails. Great, now I have an awesome gay porn running in my head.
- Fabrice, Favre, Same Diff: Fabrice ain't retiring. He's planning to play AO10.
- Wake Me Up When She Wins: Kimmy keeps winning, beating Shaughnessy 2 and 2. With Caro out of the tourney we won't get a rematch of the USO final.