Serena's an underachiever, y'all (FYI -- DON'T CLICK ON THE LINK UNLESS YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM MORE TRAFFIC). Because she's REALLY REALLY DISGUSTINGLY FAT.
At age 27 — the same age as Federer — Serena owns just half as many major titles (11) as Steffi Graf, the greatest women's player of all time. That's a terrible shame.
With a reduction in glut, a little less butt and a smidgen more guts, Serena Williams would easily be as big as Michael Jackson, dwarf Tiger Woods and take a run at Rosa Parks.
You can call me unfair. You can even scream that I'm sexist.
But there's an inescapable truth about Serena Williams: She's an underachiever.
And all the people making excuses for Serena and rationalizing her failure to totally dominate women's tennis are the very people uninterested in seeing women rise to a level of equality with men.
Serena Williams has all the ingredients to be Michael Jordan, Jim Brown and Muhammad Ali rolled into one made-for-TV package. She is quite possibly the most gifted female athlete in our lifetime.
Unfortunately for us, she lacks the courage to fulfill her destiny.
She'd rather eat, half-ass her way through non-major tournaments and complain she's not getting the respect her 11-major-championships résumé demands.
She complains about being ranked No. 2 in the world when she's not bitching on Twitter or her blog about new rules that forbid Wimbledon players from eating in the locker room.
Seriously, how else can Serena fill out her size 16 shorts without grazing at her stall between matches?
During this year's Wimbledon, Serena and Safina played Court 2 while hot, lesser stars battled on Centre Court. Safina can blame genetics for her fate. Serena only has herself to blame. God gave Serena everything, including drop-dead looks.
She's chosen to smother some of it in an unsightly layer of thick, muscled blubber, a byproduct of her unwillingness to commit to a training regimen and diet that would have her at the top of her game year-round.
Serena simply isn't obsessed with tennis perfection. She seems to play the game solely because she's good at it. Not because she has a burning desire to be the best there ever was. That is her right.
And it's my right to rip her for choosing to be a celebrity tennis player rather than a single-minded tennis assassin.
Think about it. At 5-foot-9, 145 pounds, Serena would be unstoppable on the court, on the cover of every magazine still in circulation and downloaded on the Internet three times more often than Anna Kournikova.
Instead, Serena is arguably pushing 175 pounds, content playing hard only in the major tournaments, happy to be photographed on dates with pro athletes and proud to serve as a role model for women with oversized back packs.
First of all, no one, and I mean no one, rips on my tennis family other than me. Secondly, Jason, you complain that all Serena does is focus on the Slams and is too busy at IHOP to bother playing podunk tournaments. But you're measuring her success based on Slams, so...no. Thirdly, how about a little bit of credit for, oh, I don't know, Justine Henin, Venus Williams, and the "flash in the pan" rest of the field. Serena isn't to the WTA what Roger is to the ATP. Fourthly, she won the Australian Open while at her fat and flabbiest. So...it's not necessarily about fitness, Pork Chop. And finally, how about some recognition that the game that Serena plays takes an amazing toll on a person's body, especially a body built like Serena's. No matter how fit she is there is going to be a lot of weight hanging on that 5'9'' frame of hers.
I wonder what would have happened if Serena did what everyone seems to want for her to have done over the past 10 years. Maybe she would have had to pull out of Slams at the age of 23 suffering from debilitating injuries that leave us all doubting whether she'll ever be able to return to form.
Thanks to theshiznik for tweeting the article.