Unless you're wearing that ironically, you're a fucktard.
Fuck you and your non-ironic statement t-shirt.
Sure, just sink into that hug, fucker. Fuck you and your neediness.
Hey! What does that 15 stand for? 15 ways you've been a douchebucket over the years?
Can I start the list? Fuck you and your color coordinated jacket.
Fuck you for not issuing a code violation for general douchetasticness.
Fuck you and your condescension. I would think you've had a few recent, first hand examples of winning with class. But I guess you were too self-absorbed in your sorrow and tears to take notes.
Fuck you for not whacking him with that plate.
Fuck you and your impossible ability to outserve Andy on his best serving day, like, ever.
Yeah, you're a Fed fan. OBVIOUSLY. Fuck you.
Fuck you for giving me hope.
Fuck you and your lip-quivering wifeyness.
Mmmm....I do want to fuck you.
Fuck you for being awesome but marrying that fucker.
Fuck you for making me cry.
Sigh. FUCK. YOU.
Phew! I feel so much better.
Oh, and before all you FedTards start trying to sign up for accounts to flame me, please look up the word "irreverent". It'll do you good. Oh, and also, fuck you.

